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VORTIGERN AND ROWENA; A COMI-TRAGEDY.

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PASSAGES SELECTED BY DISTINGUISHED PERSONAGES, ON THE GREAT LITERARY TRIAL OF VORTIGERN AND ROWENA; A Comi-Tragedy.

"WHETHER IT BE—OR BE NOT FROM THE IMMORTAL PEN OF SHAKSPEARE?"

VOLUME I.

SEVENTH EDITION.

—"Open me a huge Wardrobe aboundinge in motlie habittes, and marke howe fantaſticallie poore mortals will arraie themſelves!" VORT. and ROW.

LONDON: PRINTED BY H. BROWN, FOR J. RIDGWAY, YORK-STREET, ST. JAMES'S-SQUARE.

DEDICATION.
TO THE Moſt NOBLE!—Moſt ILLUSTRIOUS! Moſt PUISSANT!—Moſt MAGNIFICENT! Moſt IRRADIATING

[star motif]

IN THE BRIGHT GALAXY OF THE BRITISH PEERAGE, JAMES MARQUIS OF SALISBURY, K.G. &c! &c! &c! &c! &c! &c!

[]
Moſt curious LORD,

THE diſputed RECORDS of ANTIENT POESY here incloſed, would be debaſed by a depoſit in any other hands, than that cleanly pair, which ſo peculiarly appertain to your Lordſhip, as CUSTOS ROTULORUM of the MUSES! I diſcharge but my official [vi] duty then, in placing them under your ſtupendous protection!—But as MAGICO-MANAGER of the WHITE-WAND, and GRAND MASTER of REFINED ARTS, you muſt allow me to look up to your HIGH MIGHTINESS with the reſt of mankind,—an aſtoniſhed Gazer!

I am, Moſt Noble, moſt &c. &c.
Your loweſt FOOT-STOOL. RALPH REGISTER, Clerk of ASSIZE, Oyer and Terminer, In the COURTS LITERARY, &c. &c.

PREFACE.

[]

As far as this intereſting TRIAL. has gone, it has been conducted with that rigid impartiality which ſo particularly diſtinguiſhes the various Courts of BRITISH JURISPRUDENCE!—How it may terminate can be known only to the ruler of theſe great events: indeed, from the contrariety of weighty evidence already advanced, and the cloud of teſtimonies yet to be adduced, it would be highly indecorous, to indulge even a conjecture upon the probability of its deciſion!!

The COURT have wiſely reſolved to ſit without further adjournment, in order now to receive at their Bar, the evidence of the firſt POLITICAL, and LITERARY Characters, againſt whom, exceptions were ſo ingeniouſly taken by Council, but which however have all been moſt conſtitutionally over-ruled. Theſe [viii] being gone through, the ſage and learned POLONIUS in perſon, will ſum up the whole evidence, and after delivering a ſolemn and eloquent charge from the Bench, receive from the GRAND INQUEST, that VERDICT. which no doubt, will ſoon tend to the complete adminiſtration of LITERARY JUSTICE, by ſetting this GREAT QUESTION at reſt for ever!!!

[]VORTIGERN AND ROWENA; A COMI-TRAGEDY.

PENDING the diſtinguiſhed inqueſt under which the fact is now trying, whether the newly diſcovered DRAMA, is, or is not from the pen of SHAKSPEARE, it would be highly indecorous to hazard a ſingle conjecture upon it.—The EDITOR, therefore, will content himſelf with merely giving a faithful tranſcript of all that has been ſucceſſively recorded on this important ſubject in that faſhionable Intelligencer the MORNING HERALD: only remarking, that whatever may be the final iſſue of the TRIAL, the paſſages ſelected from the Piece itſelf by the ſeveral [2] VOTERS, pro and con. muſt remain indelible proofs of the diſcriminative taſte of thoſe, who have here ſo characteriſtically enrolled themſelves in defence of our BELLES LETTRES.

The following is the paragraphical CHAIN by which this great Literary Concern has been brought into ſuch general notice; viz.

PARAGRAPH.

The SHAKSPEARE diſcoveries, ſaid to be made by the ſon of Mr. IRELAND, of Norfolk-ſtreet, are the Tragedy of LEAR, and another entitled VORTIGERN and ROWENA, now firſt brought to light, and both in the Bard's own hand-writing:—in the ſame cheſt are ſaid to have been alſo found an antique MELANGE of love letters!—profeſſions of faith!—billet doux!—locks of hair!—and family receipts!—The only danger, reſpecting faith in the diſcovery, ſeems to be from the indiſcretion of finding too much! [3] If poor CHATTERTON had contented himſelf, with drawing literary treaſure in moderation from the monkiſh cheſt of ROWLEY, his own inventive genius had probably remained unknown!

ANOTHER.

Mr. IRELAND's Tragedy of VORTIGERN, whether ſterling, or fictitious, is to go to Drury-lane. Mr. SHERIDAN, ſays, ‘"it is the fineſt play that SHAKSPEARE ever wrote!’—not that he has had leiſure yet to read it—but he had it from an authority as claſſical, and unqueſtionably as his own judgment; viz. the ſolemn aſſurance of the great Lord SALISBURY himſelf, a Critic, only ſix removes, by lineal deſcent, from Mr. SHERIDAN's own immortal BURLEIGH!

FOR THE MORNING HERALD.

[4]
Mr. EDITOR,

Your SHAKSPEARE correſpondents know but little of what is going forward in the mine of diſcovery! Lord, Sir, if they wiſh to get at the whole truth, they muſt dip deep into the old cheſt, as the ancients did into the Pierean well!—indeed they are not correct even in what they have ſtated. For inſtance,—the precious LOCK OF HAIR! how comes it, they were ſo ignorant, as not to know, that Mr. Juſtice COLLICK, the firſt Hair Merchant in the univerſe, has critically inſpected it, and, regardleſs of the ſacred head of fiction from whence it was ſhorn, he, as a man of buſineſs, could only be brought to ſay, that if the whole ſtring were as good as the ſample, it was worth no more in the trade, than 3s. 9d. an ounce?—The pointed diſtich on the envelope, however, as his Grace of LEEDS declares, is worth a million!—Here it is:

"Ere Age with twinge your nerves doth ſhocke,
"Catch Love, like Time, by the forelocke!"

[5] By which our annotators will no doubt tell us, that the Warwickſhire WAG quaintly inculcates the youthful libertiniſm of—catch, as catch can!—Among the more recent treaſures, are a moth-eaten under PETTICOAT, an undoubted original! Mr. MALONE, who, with all his ability, knows but little about petticoats, ſays, this could be no part of the paraphernalia of the immortal Bard;—but Mrs. PIOZZI, and the whole Blue Stocking Club, are decidedly of a contrary opinion, and that for the beſt of all feminine reaſons; viz. becauſe Miſs HATHAWAY, when ſhe became Mrs. SHAKSPEARE, never failed to wear the BREECHES!—we have alſo Mr. Boſwell's authority for this, amongſt other domeſtica facta of the Poet. The next curioſity for the amateurs, is, a love VALENTINE, ſurrounded, according to antient uſage, with hearts! cupids! doves! and darts! and in the centre, a typifying figure of a cock without a combe, (according to antique ſpelling) with this inexplicable anagram:

"If to my armes you'll fondlye roame,
"Deſpighte of Dadde, I'll cut your Combe!"
W. S.

[6] From this, ſome of the inſpecting Literati are cruel enough to infer, that SHAKSPEARE muſt have had an intriguc with the daughter of his ancient enemy John a COOMBE,—the undoubted anceſtor of the preſent Oppoſition ALDERMAN, who has the honour of bearing that diſtinguiſhed name!

The laſt MORCEAU I ſhall treat you with at this time, is ſelected from the RECEIPTS, viz.‘"A RECIPEE howe to make a GOODLIE PLUMBE PUDINGE."’

Even Mr. STEEVENS admits the unqueſtionable authenticity of this valuable addendum to the cullnary art, by declaring, that Shakſpeare could not endure the ſtones of plumbs, which, from ſetting his teeth on edge, were called jar raiſins; and literally gives an appropriate citation of the following paſſage, from the Poet's own words, which will certainly be received as the beſt gloſſary to his own plumb pudding: ‘"SYLVUS.—Put dates enough into the bag: but, deareſt chuck, I prithee make me geldings of the PLUMBES!"’

[7] You ſhall have further documents, equally important and authentic, in a few days, from, Mr. Editor,

Your's, A Modern ANTIQUARIAN,

PARAGRAPH.

We have it from high authority, that the merits of the great queſtion, reſpecting the originality of the newly diſcovered PLAY, are put into a train of inveſtigation, before a LITERARY COURT of ENQUIRY, which cannot fail of the moſt candid, and judicious deciſion:—It will be managed under the auſpices of an illuſtrious perſonage, who fortunately unites in his ſingular character, all the critical and judicial talents, requiſite for ſo ſolemn a diſquiſition!

TO CORRESPONDENTS.

[8]

*⁎* The PROCESSION, on opening the LITERARY COURT to try the important QUESTION, whether VORTIGERN and ROWENA, is, or is not from the PEN of SHAKSPEARE? is intended for to-morrow's HERALD.

PARAGRAPH.
VORTIGERN AND ROWENA!!!

IT is with much concern we announce, that the PROCESSION, preparatory to opening the Literary Court of Inqueſt, to try whether this DRAMA is, or is not written by SHAKSPEARE, was obliged to be ſuſpended till Wedneſday by an unpleaſant accident. Signor DELPINI, that man of mighty mouth, who was to have walked as Champion to a PRODIGIOUS COURTIER, unfortunately diſlocated his jaw bone in practiſing an Ariſtocratic Grin, in compliment to his illuſtrious Patron!—However, the Sieur FOLLET, almoſt equally great in the happy diſtortions of the human countenance, has kindly undertaken this intereſting part, and to be ready in it, that day at noon, when this introductory ſpectacle will certainly take place, and our readers be no longer kept in a ſtate of anxious expectancy!

FOR THE MORNING HERALD. VORTIGERN AND ROWENA! A COMI-TRAGEDY!

[9]

Yeſterday morning, at eleven o'clock, the ſeveral Officers, and other great Perſonages, aſſembled at the HUM MUMS, in Covent Garden, and from thence marched to the LITERARY COURT, in Norfolk-ſtreet, in the following STATE PROCESSION, viz.

Four MUTES, With their fore fingers placed on their lips.

A Bronze of Signor DELPINI,

In his happieſt ſtile of face!

THE LOCK OF HAIR

Of Miſs HATHAWAY, afterwards the happy

MRS. SHAKSPEARE,

Borne by Mr. Juſtice COLLICK, Hair Merchant,

His train ſupported by an Unlicenſed HAIR-DRESSER, diſhevelled, and without powder! preceded by a Banner, dedicated

To WIGGISM!

[10]The Chief COOK of the Crown and Anchor Tavern, with cheeks a la blaze! carrying—on a trencher—The Book of FAMILY RECEIPTS! Six TRUNK MAKERS, two and two.

The Antique TRUNK

Covered with ASS-SKIN ſtill perfect, but ſurcharged with moth, black beetles, and cob-webs!—the flappets of the covering ſupported by the ſix Senior ANNOTATORS on the Immortal BARD, and their train upheld by an equal number of FARCE Writers.—A Banner following, inſcribed

Sacred to FICTION!

The PROMPTER of DRURY-LANE, gagged!

The Dramatic FAITH of Mr. SHERIDAN,

Delicately concealed in a Snow-drop,

And borne by Mr. KEMBLE, riding on an ELEPHANT,

Over whom waved a Streamer diſplaying the word MANAGEMENT!

A Groupe of SPIRITS—blue! red! black! and grey!

A Waxen Semblance of

The Mighty BURLEIGH!

His Banner advanced before, diſplaying

Three DRIED NEATS TONGUES,

The Family Arms, with their Motto,

"ELOQUENCE!"

[11] The DANISH CHAMBERLAIN POLONIUS,

With his White Wand of Office, and his Train ſupported by

Three OPERA EUNUCHS!

The Sieur FOLLET,

In the Armour of HAMLET's GHOST, bearing the

Club of HERCULES, as his CHAMPION.

An Emboſſed MONEY-BAG,

With "LICENCES at any PRICE!"

Inſcribed in Golden Characters.

Six FIDLERS, with broken bows!

Six FEMALE SINGERS, weeping!

BANNER—"Sacred to HARMONY!"

Sir FRETFUL,

Carried in torture on his own WHEEL!

The BLUE-Stocking CLUB

Slip-ſhod, and garter'd below knee!

VORTIGERN,

Repreſented by Mr. Kiddy DAVIS, as the only Gentleman of either Theatre, ſkilled in the Etiquette of Saxon Dignities, ſupported by the Under HARLEQUIN oſ Drury—Mr. DAVIS making it a ſpecial requeſt, that his Train-bearer might be one who well underſtood trap!

[12] DRAMATIC PERFORMERS,

Walking in pairs, after the antique faſhion of

entering NOAH's ARK.

SCENT- [...]ERS, &c. &c. &c.

The auguſt proceſſion entered the COURT about one, when the Commiſſion was opened in due form: the intereſting particulars of which, we hope to record on Friday next.

FIRST DAY's TRIAL.
VORTIGERN AND ROWENA: A COMI-TRAGEDY.

[13]

AS ſoon as the Court was opened with all due formalities, the DANISH CHAMBERLAIN, Lord POLONIUS, aroſe, and gracefully made an obeiſance to himſelf in a ſpacious Mirror, which was inſtantly returned by a figure of ſimilar dignity, from this STATE REFLECTOR, dexterouſly placed in the front of the CHAIR, that his Lordſhip might have the judicial advantage of ſeeing what he himſelf was about, which no other perſon in the Court could ever know, or poſſibly divine!—The Sieur FOLLET, as Chamberlain's Grand [14] CHAMPION, then gigantically advanced, and after throwing down his gauge, and thrice brandiſhing his Herculean Club, affixed a written PROCLAMATION to its butt, when placing the ſmaller end on the bridge of his noſe, the following preliminary CHALLENGE became viſible to all around; viz.

"If any one preſent dare gainſay, that the Lord POLONIUS is the moſt witty! moſt wiſe! moſt valorous! moſt eloquent! moſt diſintereſted! moſt beloved! moſt puiſſant! moſt chaſte! let him come forth, and I, the unworthy Champion of that mighty Lord, will tell him, that he lyes in his teeth; and, from my furious wrath the Lord deliver his miſerable carcaſe!!?"

[Here an enraged Muſician indignantly advanced, with an intent, as was ſuppoſed, to take up the glove: but was prevented, in being humanely knocked down by one of the Beef-caters.]—A nod mandatory was now given from the Chair as a cue to the principal Harlequin, who, waving his dagger of lath over a richly inlaid tablet, a pair of folding doors of ophir flew open, and diſcovered an irradiating glory of aethereal blue and gold, darting its [15] tranſcendent beams on the Title Page of an antique volume in quarto, curiouſly filligreed, and fretted with moths and earwigs, and entitled ‘VORTIGERN AND ROWENA;’

On Harlequin waving his lath a ſecond time, a light coloured cloud gently deſcended to a ſoft ſtrain of Aeolian meaſure, which opening, diſplayed a ſcrowl with this Inſcription—

Ye, of the School of Nature, as of Art, draw near,
"And faithful verdict give
"Between the ſacred memory
"Of your Immortal BARD
"And his Accuſers. by whom he now ſtands Charged
"As the Villifier of his own fair fame,
"In penning the COMI-TRAGEDY now before you!
"Peruſe, therefore, this Dramatic RECORD,
"And your ſeveral judgments pronounced thereon.
"By ſelecting ſeverally a Paſſage from the ſame,
"Which ſhall be enregiſtered,
"In affirmation, or negation of that
"LITERARY FACT, which the majority
"Of your ſuffrages muſt finally decide.
"APPROACH!"

[16] The inſtantaneous preſſing forward of the Literati! Cognoſcenti! Diletanti! &c. &c. of both ſexes, to inſpect the Record, was ſo great and violent, that it reached even the Chair of State like an electric ſhock! when Polonius, riſing up, in dignified diſmay, ſignified to his officers, by the pale vibration of his noſtrils, that it was his mighty pleaſure the Court ſhould be adjourned! This was effected by the taliſmatic ſword of Harlequin as ſoon as poſſible, but not till a few puſhing characters of the Literary Jurors had fixed on the following paſſages, and enregiſtered their votes thereon; viz.

PASSAGES SELECTED AS SUFFRAGES ON THE FIRST DAY's TRIAL; viz.
I.—Lady CH. C—B—LL.

[17]
—"LOOKE what a ſhape!
"Limbes fondlie faſhioned in the wanton moulde
"Of Nature!—Warm in Love's ſlie wytcheries,
"And ſcorninge all the draperie of Arte,
"A ſpider's loome nowe weaves her thinne attire,
"Through which the roguiſh tell-tale windes
"Do frolicke as they liſte!"
PAGE 17.—Guilty.

II.—Mr. B—F—Y.

[18]

‘"I do remember him a quaker boy to a Liſbon Vintner, who at morne waſhed his facre face in the Tagus to admire it in its glaſſe!—Next a grande compounder of ſours and ſweetes—himſelfe the quinteſſence of bothe? Then was he a medlar in debate, until his eloquence leaked to the lees: now makes he oceans of plum wine, and, by contacte betweene water and browne ſugar, will he muddle Chriſtian men, as warie Dames catche flies!"’

PAGE 83.—Not Guilty.

III—Lady A. MURRAY.

—"A lovely ſtemme,
"Whoſe cyon grafted from a Royal ſtocke,
"Earl [...] [...]tte forthe one ſweete, and tender bloſſome,
"And then neglected, wildlie runne to ruine!"
PAGE 13.—Not Guilty.

IV.—Lord TH—RL—W.

[19]
—"He is a rough Smythe,
"Who o'er warme work, ſweares, more than whiſtles;
"He makes poor punie knaves the bellowes blowe,
"But when the iron's well inflam'd, forth comes
"His mightie ſledge, and thumps the pliante metalle
"To his purpoſe!"
PAGE 108.—Guilty.

V.—Mr. ST—V—NS.

‘—"He was, by ‘"an indenture to witte,"’ apprenticed to a twiſter of common ſenſe, and afterwards ſet up fancie-monger on his own bottome: he lives now by ſtitching motlie buttons on dead Bards' jackets! And yet this varlet has humour; for he'll laughe you till his ſides crack at his own comical disfigurements!"’

PAGE 34.—Not Guilty.

SECOND DAY's TRIAL.

[20]

ON reſuming the Grand Literary COURT on Saturday, order was happily reſtored, by an emanation of that official wiſdom with which the LORD POLONIUS is ſo peculiarly gifted! A golden padlock, it ſeems, had been moſt delicately affixed that morning to the antique claſps of the COMI-TRAGEDY. This, at firſt, naturally excited a little ſurprize, but it was ſoon diſpelled by the very graceful delivery of the following State Paper, from the courtly hand of Mr. Kiddy DAVIS, of the Theatre Royal, Covent Garden, whom the Manager has kindly lent, as SAXON REPRESENTATIVE in waiting of the heroic VORTIGERN!

(COPY.)

BY AUTHORITY!!

It is ORDERED, that no perſon, of what rank, quality. or degree ſoever, ſhall preſume to take any part, ſhare, or intereſt in, or give any public opinion on, the ſacred DRAMA of Vortigern and Rowena, until ſuch perſon [21] ſhall have been firſt duly inveſted with a Two Guinea ſtamped LICENCE, under our hand and ſeal, on pain, and peril of being proſecuted with the utmoſt rigour, as a Vagabond, under the wholeſome ſtatute, entitled, "The Vag [...]ant ACT!" "ſo wiſely inſtituted for the correction of ſuch State abuſes!

(Signed) POLONIUS.
(Counter ſigned) FOLLET. G. C.

This was allowed by all the knowing ones preſent, to be a thou, ht of the moſt profound polity, and equal to any thing recorded of the ſagacious Houſe of BURLEIGH! It naturally branched itſelf into a two-fold good; viz. 1. as a touch-ſtone of inſurance as to the qualification. and ability of voters!—2dly—which his Lordſhip's liberality muſt mark as the principal conſideration.—it inſtantly made the Literary Inqueſt more ſelect, tended to exped [...]e the proceedings of the Court, and thus pa [...]tically expoſe the endleſs duration of Haſtings' Impeachment. Licences were accordingly taken out by thoſe who were prepared for this voluntary LEVY: and thoſe who were not, were very decorouſly kicked out of Court!

[22] Another decree of a ſubordinate kind, likewiſe paſſed, viz. to change the ſuffrage, annexed to the choſen Paſſages, from GUILTY and Not GUILTY, to "GENUINE" and "Not GENUINE;"—the vulgar repetition of the ſound of guilt, &c. being ſometimes obſerved to raiſe a demi-bluſh of confuſion on the OFFICIAL cheek!—The ſolemn buſineſs of the day then commenced.

The following is the Liſt of Licenced VOTERS, and their ſelected Paſſages, enregiſtered at this Sitting, which we are promiſed in time for to-morrow's publication, viz.

  • 5. Marg. ANS—H.
  • 6. Earl H—WE.
  • 7. Hon Mrs. ST—N—PE.
  • 8. Mrs. FIIZ—T.
  • 9. Lord CH—R.
  • 10. Marquis TOW—D.

The CLERK in COURT has directed us to make an Frratum in our firſt day's report, on the Paſſage which Mr. B—F—Y had ſo aptly ſelected for his conſcientious ſuffrage to repoſe on!—we therefore requeſt that the Cognoſcenti will eraſe, and thus amend the Record:

For
"waſhed his facre face in the Tagus,"
Write
"waſhed his fair in the Tagus,
"To admire it in its glaſſe, &c."

[23] This emendation is unqueſtionably due to common decency as well as common ſenſe. The word facre, as a Saxon derivative, unfortunately ſignifies ſallow! it cannot therefore be ſuppoſed by thoſe in any habits with the worthy Member for Yarmouth. that a Gentleman, naturally conſcious of ſo fair a face himſelf, could have ſelected a paſſage thus perſonally repugnant to his own taſte and feelings!

VI.—Marg—ne of AN—P—CH.

‘"Oh! ſhe would enacte you, from earlieſt youthe, ſcenes to bewitche men's eyes! and eares! and hartes!—Of late ſhe did performe the QUEENE right regallie; and got a goodlie Sir to play her FOOLE!—Heaven bleſſe her Highneſſe: for ſhe hath had her ups, and downes in this madde worlde in plentie!"’

PAGE 3.—Not GENUINE.

VII.—Earl H—WE.

[24]
—"At ebbe of fleetinge life,
"One deed of armes he valiantlie atchiev'd,
"Of warlike enterprize!—Alofte he bore
"The Britiſh ſtandarde to that ruthleſſe coaſte,
"Where Gallicke ſtreamers deeply ſtained with bloode,
"Brav'd the indigant ſkie! there proudlie conquer'd:
"Oh! noblie done!—With laurel wreathe well grac'd,
"Nowe let the vet'ran Chiefe ſeek calme retreate,
"Cheer'd by the radiance of his ſettinge ſunne,
Leſt Chance ſhould marre, by palſied ſtroke his fame!"
PAGE 12.—GENUINE.

VIII.—Hon. Mrs. ST—N—PE.

—"ROWENA hearde the tale,
"Smil'd midde her griefe, o'er all his val'rous deedes,
"Then aſk'd, in teares, his ſtorie o'er againe!"
PAGE 7.—GENUINE.

IX.—Lord CH—R.

[25]
"Howe can I ſhifte me more?—Have I not runne through all the colours of the changeful ſkie?—My coate and doublette, are they not thread-bare growne in turninge?—Were not my very ſkinne ſeene through, I [...]d trie the t'other ſide of that to pleaſe you!"
PAGE 76.—GENUINE.

X.—Mrs. FITZ—T.

—"O! lengthen'd torture of ſuſpenſe.
"And muſt I grace a Courtlie Rival's triumphe?
"—Bende ſtubborne harte, and lowlie learn to me [...]te
"The toweringe eye of her, whoſe picture [...] charmes
"At diſtance won the fickle truante from thee.
" [...] too near thy weakneſſes were ſeene,
And ſo they're nowe moſt ſpeedilie forgotten!"
PAGE 2.—Not GENUINE.

X—Marq—s TOW—D.

[26]
"Of all your ſharp-brain'd fellowes, give me a we witte! Why, he's the Prince of Bottle Conjurors! he'll draw you ſix long corkes in the twinklinge of a landladie's eye!—At Lente, a ſpice o' th' mo [...]al man comes o'er him; now weares he ſackcloth, and loathinge his wine, chauntes ſtraines of pſalmodie in doleful ſpirit:—At Lammas, the fleſh again prevailes, and then earrols he tales of bawdrie, 'till he ſendes the Moone ſhame-faced to bed!"
PAGE 4.—GENUINE.

THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

[27]

XI.—Lord E—DL—Y.

—"Why, he's no JEWE! I ſawe him eate Porke with a Pigge-driver, and afterwardes goe forthe, and hunt the Strande for a little ſweete fauce to the fleſhe!—Heaven bleſſe him; for he has a true Chriſtian harte, that bids him ope his palme to all that neede it!"
PAGE 11.—Not GENUINE.

XII—Ducheſs of Y—K.

—"That's her, the mirrore of her ſexe,
"Reflecting graces that adorne her ſtate!
"View ye that eye uplifte, of pureſt blue?
"Not for her patiente ſelfe ſhe aſkes a boone,
"But ſighes for bleſſinges wyde on all arounde her!"
PAGE 3.—GENUINE.

XIII.—Miſs OC—E.

[28]
"Where could I place my likinge more worthilie, than on his manlye witte, and playful partes?—An antiente aunte of mine, who is ſande-blinde, faine would have croſt my love—but I told her I had eyes, and could chuſe my owne partner for Bindman's buffe!—My father, heaven thank it, is a goodlie man o' th' Churche, and well-natured—for he coaxed my chinne, and ſmiling ſaide—forget not, Childe, to worke me out a MITRE in chaine-ſtitche!"
PAGE 1.—GENUINE.

XIV.—Sir JOHN S—N [...] [...].

—"A ploddinge Sir, that dailie held
"Fantaſtic converſe with his mother Earthe!
"A mightie an analyzer of all that's [...]!
"He'd turn the ſkinne of a poor barley-corne
"Full ſix times o'er its backe, t'explore its gender
"Bred in that frugal clime, where man per force
"Makes his poor breeches o' the cuttinge windes,
"He thought the humble her [...]ies in this might have
"Precedence; ſo he mov'd, kind ſoule, to cloathe
"The SHEEP, by ſpecial Acte of Senate!"
PAGE 6.—Not GENUINE

XV.—Lady AR—R.

[29]
—"Mine was the earlie arte
"To baniſhe Nature's bluſhes from the cheeke
"I learnt it of a Dyer's wife in SPAINE,
"Whoſe ſace in Tyrian die was ſo engram'd,
"That Turkie Cockes aſſail'd her as ſhe paſte!"
PAGE 21.—Not GENUINE.

XVI.—Mr. T— TH—MP—N.

"I mett i' th' Vale of Eveſhame the ſpawne of a Jew [...] Ped [...]: He had wiſelie made the moſt of his father's wares, for he wore them right ſwaggeringlie on hrs owne backe!—He was an odde fiſhe—talked of ducattes, as of duckes, and drakes—and ſwore he was circumciſed i'th' fleſhe, to become a mender of the State!"
PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

FOURTH DAY's TRIAL.

[30]

XVII.—P—ss of W—L—S.

—"She came
"A lovelie ſtranger to a foreigne clime,
"To ſeale her virgin wowe, and proudlie winne
"A People's homage!—
"Rough was her paſſage o'er! for three long Moones
"The fretful elements conſpired in wrathe
"To wreſt her from her LORDE!—but now arriv'd,
"Of this ſweete, tender plante, O thou poſſeſt,
"Keepe from its roote the briar's thornie ſnare,
"And baneful creeping ivie of a Courte:
"So may this faire exoticke bleſſe our ſoile,
"And bloome therein at peace!"
PAGE 2.—GENUINE.

XVIII.—Duke of P—D.

[31]
"Theſe habiliments of tiſſued honour, hange ſo looſlie on me, that with reverence to my Grace, I am taken for little more than one decked out in other men's deſerts.—Let that paſs. But ſaie, on what ſtate feature of my viſage, dare any man read Dupe? 'Tis true that I am a ſerving man o' th' Courte!—Do all that wiſer men command me—Keepe my Kinge's Council, and mine own place—Then dupe me no Dupes! And, were I not afraid of ſtaininge my Courtly Doublet, I might ſcratch out that filthie worde with daggers: But I'll be no man's dupe in ſuch bloodie deedes, that's poz!"
PAGE 100.—Not GENUINE.

XIX.—D—ss of C—D.

—"How's this? a marriage regalle,
"And I not bidden to the feaſte?—The times
"Are ſhamefully untun'd—What then availes
"The minde well-faſhion'd for a Courte intrigue?
"Or arte to lime the giddie royalle birde
"Ere he can ſoare on pinion of diſcretion?
"But as they've piqued my woman's pride,
"Let them look to't!—The honied-moon gone downe,
"I'll play the cat [...]-couſin yet among 'em!"
PAGE 101.—GENUINE.

XX.—Sir WM. D—LB—N.

[32]
"A KNIGHTE begotten at a retreate i' th' holie wartes [...] and now drie-nurſed by his Alma Mater! He is a moral maſter of proprietie, and was at oddes with a croſs-legged Oxforde Tailor, for turning out his toes on Sundai [...]—So pious is his regarde for every man's ſoul, that he ſtrives to packe it off to heaven in its beſt bib, and tucker!"
PAGE 1.—GENUINE

XXI.—Hon. Mrs. D—R.

—"She, from a block of Parian marble,
"Drewe cold antipathies 'gainſt fleſh and bloode,
"Which cuſtome turn'd to loathinge. Nought could move
"Her wrapt imagination, ſave ſome parte,
"Or limbe, grac'd into muſcular proportion
"By her own hand, ſo faire, and ſo creative:
"On this ſhe'd gaze, and bende to ſacrifice,
"With ſtrange delighte!"
PAGE 4.—Not GENUINE.

XXII.—Mr. B—KE.

[33]

‘"I knewe a buſie Eſquire who conſumed his daies in rakeing fierrie coales under the Cauldron o'the State to make hotte water!—yet he had genius, with which he ſublimelie ſoared beyond human ken! it was alſo beautiful—for it ſcorned to traverſe in a ſtrait line;—heaven bleſs ſuche wittes from the foule fiende?"’

PAGE 13.—Not GENUINE.

FIFTH DAY's TRIAL.

[34]

XXIII.—Earl of C—RL—LE.

‘"Thoughe once a Commiſſioner on a ſimple embaſſie, am I enacted a bond-man perpetual under the huge SEALE of follie?—Being both my friendes, and Stateſmen now at oddes, you do mine honour much injurie! You have ſtucke me up as a pent-houſe, under which to meete, and call each other foule names by virtue of your prerogative courtlie! Doubtleſs, you will next expecte to ſhoote deadlie metal at each other, through my ſtatelie bodie!—But thankes to my Witte, I have the gifte of rhyme; ſo will I ſpeciallie indite my grievances in metre, that wiſe men may admire, and pitie me!"’

PAGE 22.—Not GENUINE.

XXIV.—Marc—ſs T—NS—D.

[35]
—"Howe ſhe was won
"To yielde her virgin harte ſo ſtranglie up,
"No one hath chronicled; that Goſſip ſave,
"Whoſe ill-engender'd tales of foule reporte,
"Truthe ſmothers ſoone as borne.—Oh! once betrothed,
"She, midde the ranke infections of a Courte,
"Bore her bewitchinge beauties with ſuch grace,
"That not a lawleſſe eye dare gaze upon them!
"Faithful to plighted vowes, her youthful courſe
"She run with adverſe yeares; and ſpighte of bloode,
"Kept her quicke pulſe by lowlie temp'rature,
"Coole as the lagginge current of her Lorde's;
"And thus in chaſtitie ſo rare,—became
"The envied mother of a lovelie race!"
PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

XXV.—Mr. C—NN—G.

‘"Before the moulting time, he promiſed to be a prettie Birde, of hopeful Songe!—A blyſter on the backe of the State Chyrurgeon, for clippinge my young Dawe under the tongue, to make him more eloquente! Indeed, Dame, the poore cut fowle hath ne'er prattled to any tune ſince!"’

PAGE 2.—GENUINE.

XXVI.—Miſs B—Y ST—T.

[36]
"They call'd for Little Figure, as I dealt,
"And—Omen deare!—up came the KING of Hartes!
"—Would that he were not of the royalle bloode!
"And yet 'tis none of that produe current bids
"Mine tingle thus thro' every little veine;
"Oh no!—true love is far above all ſtate:
"His lookes are Princelie—but his ſighes, and vowes,
"Blende ſoft, and ſweete with mine of humbler birthe!"
PAGE 117.—GENUINE.

XXVII.—Ad. M'BRIDE.

‘"I had ſacked their faire Citie, but that the renigadoes of Dunkirke, like ſo many ſea-moles, raiſed ſhoales, and ſande-bankes to pick up my deep-water barques!—The Cowardes knew me well, and ſo came not within the reache of my red-hot ſhotte!—The firſt convenient Moone at fulle, I'll trie the knaves on t'other tacke—till then, I muſt content me with the goode reportes the dailie Neweſmen do ſo prettilie promulgate of my fame!"’

PAGE 99.—Not GENUINE.

XXVIII.—Duke of D— [...].

[37]
—"Here Damſels! view
"A Knighte gallante, bedeekt in Beauties' ſpoiles!
"Her Roya [...]le ſſemblance at my breaſt I weare,
"But have not ſaid, her love ſhe gave me with it;
"Of that no matter:—but by your bright eyes
"She had the moſt invitinge rubbie lippe,
"That France through all her womanhood could boaſte!
"—Mark ye this ribbande of Imperial blue?
"If it were not her owne ſofte gar [...],
"Yet, I proteſte, tranſportinglie 'twas gained,
"By the ſweete breathe of her ſolicitude:
"What could a Regal beautie more?"
PAGE 11.—GENUINE.

SIXTH DAY's TRIAL.

[38]

XXIX.—Sir S—D—Y SM—TH.

—"When I ſerved the Royalle SWEEDE, he gave my valoure fulle credence for what it did intende!—but my ſurlie countriemen are keene reckoners to paſſe a runninge account with—they will have the cleare ſum total of bloode, and conflagration! Suppoſe ye, the Frenche, deepe ſkilled in the artes magique, mighte rebuilde the Shippes which my proweſſe did annihilate—howe am I to blame?—I burnte them all to ſea-charcoale, and that in the twinklinge of my owne Northerne Starre, as I am a Knighte, and a Circumnavigator? Had I thoughte that my reporte would have been unaccredited, I might have ſworne that I ate them into the bargaine!"
PAGE 33.—GENUINE.

XXX.—D—tc—ſs of R—T—D.

[39]
"Were I a Woman with an Angel face,
"By birthe diſtinguiſht, and with children bleſt,
"I would not blurre the ſtocke of ſuch faire fame,
"By apeing of the wanton thinge I am not!
"Youth's giddie meteor, Ladie, is gone bye,
"Loſt in declenſion midde new blazinge ſtarres:
"Why then through Follie's ever changeful ſkie
"Its trackleſſe courſe purſue?—Have you not ſeene,
"When heaven's own conſtellations 'gin to wane,
"More, and more chaſte, and envied they doe ſhine,
"Ey'n to their farewelle ſettinge!"
PAGE 108.—GENUINE.

XXXI.—CH—S WY—D—M.

[40]

‘—"I knewe him, t'other ſide the Appenines, on hi [...] youtheful travel, a fellowe of much honeſt worthe,—one wedded to his friende, and flaſke!—No ſooner did the Dog ſtarre rage, than out he ſallied forthe among the ſofter ſexe, a gaie gallante!—and, by the maſſe, the rantipole dames of qualitie made the moſt of him!—Good nature was his foible; for he rode you his dailie roundes through Padua on horſebacke, to keepe honeſt men's wives quiet!—Even his hunter would ſtop, as 'twere by animal inſtincte, at the neweſt ſigne of the hornes!—The wagge has had his dave—and now calmlie ſits [...]e downe, and talkes of [...]raile atchievements paſte, like an invalided warriore, unfit for bodilie ſervice!"’

PAGE 4 [...].—Not GENUINE.

XXXII.—C—ſs of AL—M—LE.

[41]
"Oh' ſhe could ſhifte almoſt her lovelie ſexe—
'To everie motion give a varying grace!
"This daie ſhe'd leade the TROOPE i' th' tented fielde!
"Nexte—walke a furious matche 'gainſt gaffer TIME!
"At heade of HOUNDES now hunte the wilie Foxe,
"Outſtripe her Lorde, and claime the culprit's bruſhe!
"Then urge the Chariot race with fierie ſteeds!
"Or ſteer the VESSEL through overwhelming ſeas!
"—I marvel, when in aire ſhe'll learne to flie!
"Oh winges ſhe ſoone muſt have to ſoare alofte,
'And drawe men's eyes adoringlie tow'rds heaven!
PAGE 7.—Not GENUINE.

SEVENTH DAY's TRIAL.

[42]

XXXIII.—Earl FITZ—M.

‘"They ſent me over ſeas, to be toſſed by one of my owne Iriſhe Bulls!—When I thoughte to plaie on them a Yorkſhire bite, ſlylie came there forthe one further from the Northe, who cabbaged all my buckram, and left my ſtate doublet without bodie lineing!—Oh, Sir, they have treated me moſt inſultinglie!—I have been caught in their Courte-trappe, like a Dunſtable Larke, and now they intend to roaſte and baſte me, without any of the crumbes of comforte! But, by the grace of G—d, and the Biſhop of mine own anointing, I have preſerved true my Catholicke ſaithe!"’

PAGE 77.—GENUINE,

XXXIV.—C—ss D—LK—TH.

[43]
"So faire a bloſſome hath not Scotia graced,
"Since the dire daies of Beauties' martyr'd Queene
"Her bridal Maides no am'rous flowret ſtrew'd
"Before Rowena,—nature's ſweeteſt bud,
"Who chaſtlie bluſh'd herſelf a damaſk roſe;
"'Twas almoſt ſinne to pluck it! I marvel much,
"Whether that envied chiefe, her Northern Lorde,
"Will give ſuch hopeful lovelineſſe in bloom,
"To the rude breathe of Caledonian climes!"
PAGE 121.—Not GENUINE.

XXXV.—Comm [...]dore P—NE.

‘"To ſerve a Prince right courteouſlie, you ſhould be no maker of mince meat!—Amphibious muſt you be!—prompt to atchieve ſtrange deedes by lande, or water! on ſhore, his Highneſs' wantes, and wiſhes execute, before the fancie royalle hath time to faſhion them: and when your barke's afloate, give up your pliant ſailes to amorous windes, and fetch him cargoes of untried love from ev'ry pointe o'th' compaſs!"’

PAGE 19.—GENUINE.

XXXVI.—Mrs. S—WB—GE.

[44]
—"How trulie widowed weeds
"Depict the ſemblance of a Woman's ſorrowe!
"Well do they name theſe mournful ribands Love
"Emblems of joye that's paſt, and love that's yet in ſtore
"Come hither Blanche—ſay how I look to-daie
"For if my glaſſe ſpeake true, this ſorrowe feign'd
"Doth charminglie become me!"
PAGE 20.—Not GENUINE.

EIGHTH DAY's TRIAL.

[45]

XXXVII.—Earl of UX—GE.

‘—"I am myſelf deſcended from the antiente loines of Alexander the Copper Smithe! but it matters not how a greate man was either borne or begotten, if chance do but ſtande his God-father!—I knewe a fellowe, deſtined by fate to ſcratche like a mole under grounde, 'till delvinge there one luckie daie, he ſpied a veine of ſhinirge care, on which he ſette men of more genius than himſelfe to worke him out a Crownette—This, deckt with belles and feathers, on his owne temples of unbluſhinge metal formed, did he ſwaggeringlie place, for all men's eyes to marvelle at!"’

PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

XXXVIII.—Sir CH. T—N—R.

[46]

‘—"Give me a SOLDIER of fortune, who can afforde to hunte his enemie abroad with bloode houndes! Re turninge home, he maie champion fate to th' uttermoſte, and ſtand you undauntedlie a throwe o' the diceboxe, more deadlie than the rattle of Bellona's cannon"’

PAGE 23.—Not GENUINE.

XXXIX.—C—ſs of P—MF—T.

—"Oh, Sir! I'll wager you
"The Lapedaries ſkille 'gainſt that of nature!
"It matters not howe plaine th' entablature
"Rounde which the cunninge artiſte doth beſette
"His ſparklinge jewelrie—What Dame can lacke
"The living luſtre of an hazle eye,
"Whoſe vacancie a brilliant gem filles up?
"—Or who the poutinge ripeneſs of a lip,
"Which rubies ſo enchantinglie ſupplie?"
PAGE 66.—GENUINE

XL.—Mr. C—WTH—NE.

[47]

‘—"My wife's BANKE is as firme as the proude one which the Londonne Merchantes doe intende for their faire citie!—I puncte at it mine ownſelfe i' th' familie way, ſo both are gainers; for though ſhe may cocke me out of my coine, I have my night's amuſement for my monie!"’

PAGE 30.—Not GENUINE.

NINTH DAY's TRIAL.

[48]

XLI.—Mar—ſs S—Y.

‘—"As I am not more coylie faſhioned than the huntreſs Dian, I finde no ſporte i' th' Chaſe, unleſs they mount me on a mettled ſteede—one retaining all the powers which bounteous Nature gave him! I rode a geldinge in my youtheful daies—but the dull Mule had not one pace to pleaſe me! It joies me moſt to be in at the extatic deathe!—but howe that can be, I marvel, unleſs a woman be gaillie mounted?"’

PAGE 25.—Not GENUINE.

XLII.—Earl of CH—TF—D.

‘—"Between you and me, he's become no leſs a creature, than the ear-wig of the Caxon Royale!—To be a bearer of wonderous tidings, is his ſoule [...] delighte; and when he cannot picke up his budg [...] fulle of tales, how marvelouſlie will he com 'em!—He's chuck full of antickes—and he'll fetch and carrie poſt, like an over-ſea dog, ſo that you do but laughe, and ſpit on a cruſt for his foolerie!"’

PAGE 110.—GENU [...]

XLIII.—Mrs ED. B—V—IE.

[49]
"Thinke not you gaze upon a ſtatue here,
"Whoſe beauties live but on an outward forme!
"Inſpecte the movements of Iſphina's minde,
"And theſe will ſanctione Man's idolatrie!
"—Her maiden modeſtie ſhe ſtill retaines
"Through all the duties of a wedded life.
"With meltinge energies of ſoul endued,
"See with what grace ſhe mildlie yields her owne,
"Or rules by reaſon's charme another's will [...]
"Oh let this lovelie gem be fairlie copied."—
PAGE 44.—GENUINE

XLIV.—Earl of J—Y.

—"I followe out Sovereigne Lord the Prince in Kendal Greene, to hunte the hinde, and harte, to the ſounde of mine own horne!—Paſſing Hearne's [...]ate, our laſt ring i' th' foreſt, my roane mare made a falſe ſtep, and wiſking me o'er her eares, the jade muſt have ſplit me, had I not fortunatelie fell into a buckthorne buſh, where, as goode lucke would have it, I hung ſecurelie [...] own deare heade!"
PAGE 3—Not GENUINE.

TENTH DAY's TRIAL.

[50]

XLV.—Duke of N—K.

"Should a man in theſe hurlie-burlie daies, be permitted to weare a heade on his ſhoulders, let him not quarrel about the colour of it!—but if they powder mine, they ſhall eate it into the bargaine!—I'll weare my nob as long as I can, in ſable, for the frailties of my bodie!—The knaves knewe that my ſole delighte were in rape and canarie, and therefore have they clapped a double taxe on our Women, and Wine!"
PAGE 55.—GENUINE.

XLVI.—C—ſs M—X—H.

[51]
—"That inſinuatinge creature Man,
"Wooes us to cut the Gordian knot in twaine,
"Which ties the ſlender bande of wedded love!
"Tho' Woman's train'd to trim the Veſtale lampe,
"It will not ſave her from the gazing eye
"Of lawleſs rapture!—O'er my witching face,
"I throwe my flowinge ringlets as I paſſe,
"To guarde me from their lookes laſcivious;
"And yet the wanton windes weave them in ſnares
"To trap me ſillie men ſo very faſte,
"That for my foule I cannot ſet them free!"
PAGE 30.—Not GENUINE.

XLVII.—Mr. B—DH—D.

‘"Our Houſe is ſometimes haunted with evil ſprites of fantaſticke ſhapes, and colours! Once in twelve moones, they turn it out o' th' windowes, and I am placed belowe to catch it!—The neighbours ſaye, there's rare witte in all theſe doings—but in the quiet meekneſs of my harte, I ne'er could finde it out!"’

PAGE 88.—GENUINE.

XLVIII.—Mrs. P—ZI.

[52]

‘"I knewe her the wife of honeſt Guzman, a good compounder of Malte, and Hoppes;—then had ſhe the reaſonable uſe of her mother-tongue.—No ſooner was he defuncte, than ſhe became enamoured of foreigne dignities,—wedded a Milaneſe piper, and travelled o'er the Appenines to the tune of his boxe of whiſtles!—On her returne, ſhe ſet up a feminine manufactorie, for weavinge converſations ſuperfine!—Theſe tabbies pronounced the deſtinies of their owne ſexe like Sybils, and became haters of mankind, becauſe men liked them not! nay, the whimſical jades wore ſtockings of ſkie-blue, not having a leg among 'em to catch an eye, without the noveltie of colouringe!"’

PAGE 68.—GENUINE.

ELEVENTH DAY's TRIAL.

[53]

XLIX.—Sir R—B—T M—CKR—H.

‘"I have ventured at laſt to be touched with colde iron, which argufies conſequence, as well as valour!—To have a ſhininge blade whipped acroſs my humble ſhoulder, by the dexter hande of Sovereigntie, gives me the poliſh of gentilitie, which rubs out everie ſpot of vulgar ruſt! At the firſt call to the preſence royale, Caming up! [...] ſays I, as cheerfullie as ever! on which the Lordes and Ladies of the Courte, in admiration of my witte, were pleaſed to laugh moſt heartilie!—Should any meddlinge foole aſke of me, howe I came thus [...]ignified?—marry the anſwer's plame; becauſe I got my monies darklie, and as it were i' the nighte, ſo in the wiſdome of greater men than myſelfe, I was thought right worthie to be be-knighted!"’

PAGE 22.—GENUINE

L.—Lady C—NL—FE.

[54]
—"When ſummer revels 'gin,
"And through the woodland ſcenes, the beugle horne
"Calls forthe the merrie ARCHERS—blith I leade
"My buſkin'd nymphes, equipt with graceful bowe,
"To trie their ſkille in Cheſhire's bloominge vale!
"If with more arte my feather'd arrowes flie
"True to the target's center—quicke I turne
"A careleſſe eare to flatterie's buzzing traine.
"Content with that fair-gotten meede of healthe,
"Which ſportive innocence beſtowes!"
PAGE 112.—Not GENUINE.

LI.—Lord C—TN—Y.

‘—"I ſawe it flutteringe o'er a banke of violettes, gaier than a May-born butterflie!—If our Naturaliſts looke not to it, we ſhall looſe, I feare, the ſtocke of this ſweet non-deſcript in colde extinction; for, by the maſte, it ſeemes too delicate, t'endure the vulgar tones of procreation!"’

PAGE 78.—GENUINE.

LII.—Miſs H—TH—M.

[55]
—"Nay, nay, flout me as you pleaſe, I'll keepe my ſpinſter's humour! What care I, if I am doom'd to dance an ape in t'other worlde?—is it not better far, than being chain'd to one in this?—Tell me,—have I not a warme huſbande in my bags of golde, in value of which the ſneakinge fellowes would faine make me a wife!—For this coine of mine, which I knowe how to take care of myſelfe, all men are my moſt devoted!—ſweare I have more perſonal attractions than the Sea-born Goddeſſe, and that my circuitous waiſte is more delicatelie ſhaped than even Dian's gridle—admirable conceits! But I have laughed at the humour of theſe poor knaves ſo long, 'tis no marvel I have growne FAT!"
PAGE 66.—GENUINE.

TWELETH DAY's TRIAL.

[56]

LIII.—D—ſs of GL—R.

—"I ſcorne to aſk of fate
"Why I, ſo regallie allied to thrones,
"Am thus debarred my lawful rightes of ſtate,
"Of homage, fealtie, and courtlie ranke?
"In this long baniſhment from all my claimes,
"My woman's pride doth ſtill ſuſtaine
"The loftie bearings of a princelie mind!
"Rather than mingle with the motlie herde,
"Which [...] the fleetinge nobleſſe of our land,
"In dignified obſcuritie I'll dwell,
"And diet on mine own proud ſpleene till death!"
PAGE 21.—GENUINE.

LIV.—Earl of L—S—R.

[57]
"Why, Sir, he hath climbed every arm of the mightie tree of Genealogie, like a School-boie after Rookes neſts; and can pointe you out the oldeſt branch, which bore his great forefather as its firſt fruit!—He hath a moſt ſenſitive noſtril for the flowers of antiente Nobilitie—and will ſmell you out the ſtocke from our red or white [...], a furlonge off!—He now delights in the ſleeping languages of paſt daies, and therefore hath he been created great Lorde Decypherer of the dead [...]etters!—As an Antiquarian he is moſt dexterous, for he proved, in the teethe of the Courte, that he was born before his father, and therefore ought to be firſt thought of; and, in truth, ſo he was, for he ſlipt his head into an Earl's [...], which they had beene preparing for his Sire!"
PAGE 114.—Not GENUINE.

LV.—Lady EL—TH F—R.

[58]
"You ſay, that Rowena ſhould not have been compelled to wed according to the Law Canonical—marry, why? becauſe the Lawe of Nature, which was the firſt, doth allow unto everie Spinſter to burn and the like, after her own diſcretion? So that the worlde be but well ſtocked with ſucklings, male and female, it matters not how they were born or begotten. If they finde not out their real Dams, give them but a good Foſter Mother, and that will content them!"
PAGE 13.—GENUINE.

LVI.—Earl of A—LE.

[59]
"Oh, ſhort indeed was that pale honie-moone
"Which ſhone on our greene loves! Could ſhe not bear
"The mild remonſtrance which affection moved,
"To ſhielde our blended pride from painful claimes
"Neceſſitie might rudelie preſſe!—Alas,
"It from that breaſte, which I ſo fondlie made
"The ſecret treaſurie of all my thoughts,
"I could not counſel aſk, nor ſeek repoſe,
"'Twas well to ſever thus our fates in twaine!—
"Come, little off-ſpring of our ſhort-lived bl [...]e,
"Dear tokens of your parents' happier daies,
"Take now the other ſhare of my ſoul's love,
"Which ſhe that bore you deems not worth her keepinge!"
PAGE 44.—Not GENUINE.

THIRTEENTH DAY's TRIAL.

[60]

LVII.—P—ſs EL—TH.

‘—"Heaven bleſs her mertie harte! and keepe all ſorrowe from it!—She is the ſweet-tuned fiddle of her father's Courte, where no true paſtime can be known without her!—Each bower, and hall, ſhe decks with ſuch true grace, that you might ſweare where'er ſhe moves, perpetual Spring attends her:—Oh! blithſome Princeſs! long may the mirthe of innocence be thine, and thou the faire diſpenſer of its power, to turn aſide thoſe barbed ſhaftes, which fate full oft doth forge. wherewith to wounde the boſome of a Kinge!"’

PAGE 114.—GENUINE

LVIII.—Earl GR—R.

[61]

‘—"I met a Yeeman-pricker of the Chace, who, piteous fellowe,—pointed me ſadlie out, a noble antient Staz, the feates, and frolickes of whoſe youthe were gone!—At rutringe time, now dothe he ſeeke the ruſhie-bottomed glen, thence to behold his ſucceſſors trip by in luſtie rivalrie, leading the amorous herde at pleaſure o'er the heathe, while he dothe deeplie ſigh for ſportes now paſte, and ſhed in lonelie ſolitude his hornes!"’

PAGE 4.—GENUINE.

LIX.—D—ſs H—L—N.

"Soft, unſuſpicious ſiſterhood of mine,
"Ere you the hand of innocence beſtowe
"On wooinge man—marke well, I praie,
"The temper of his mind!—Oh! wed ye not
"To brutal fulleneſs, in Lordlie ſhape,
"Or lowe vulgaritie diſguiſed in ſtate.
"Unheedinge this, incautiouſſie I fell
"From all the virgin pleaſures of my youthe,
"To miſeries almoſt confined to me,
"The titled ſhadowe of a widowed WIFE!"
PAGE 88.—Not GENUINE.

LX.—Sir Jos. B—KS.

[62]
"Why have I circled wide the varying poles?
"Search'd Nature to her ſource in every clime,
"Survey'd her animals, her plants, and flowers,
"Learnt every particle of ſande by name,
"And lowlie duſt of which vain man's compounded?
"Why ranſack'd thus the ever-changeful globe,
"But to extende the ſocial intercourſe
"'Twixt Heaven's created beings?—This I've done,
"And moulded to one common will with mine
"Two * Creatures oppoſite in Nature's ſcale;
"Unbente their aukwarde dignitie of minde,
"To ſhare with me equalitie of rights.
"Two yeares their baſhful modeſtie I woo'd,
"Ere they, by joint conſent, would imitate
"Man's daily avocations: docile growne,
"They now will reaſon with me on the ſquare,
"Hop where I walke, and reſt if I but pauſe!
"Eate when I feede, and ſleepe at my repoſe!
"Thus we inſtinctivelie philoſophize
"On all our little wantes for fleetinge life!"
PAGE 21.—GENUINE.

FOURTEENTH DAY's TRIAL.

[63]

LXI.—M—q—ſs of S—Y.

‘—"Yes, that is the great POLONIUS himſelf!—He doth expect the humble homage of our knee—and muſt have it! I prithee call him not a ſhallow-witted Lorde, when his wiſe head is crammed ſo full of braines, that he knowes not which way to turne them!—Some whimſical God, in heatheniſh daies! decreed, that he ſhould be born a loftie man, and a mightie!—He is the Cuſtos Morum of the Harmonique Spheres, under whoſe authoritie poor Bardes, and Minſtrels, are whipped from tything to tything!—likewiſe a deep Aſtronomer, ſkilled in the ſigns from Taurus to Capricorn! and ſo great a Naturaliſte, that he knowes the buddinge ſeaſon by the note of the prophetick Cuckoe!"’

PAGE 87.—GENUINE.

LXII.—Lady W—M R—L.

[64]

‘"Oh, deareſt Nurſe! and it be like its father, as you ſaie, and a lovelie boy, ſee quicklie if it's prettie mouthe be furniſhed with a tongue!—and it be tied, I praie you cut, with tender care, the ligature in twaine, that the maladie of ſilence be not entailed upon our line of Males! Were it a girl—ſuch pains were uſeleſs, as its Grand Mama, who hathe not yet the fruitful arte forſworne, full oft declared, no female progenie of hers could be devoid of prattling powers!"’

PAGE 187.—GENUINE

LXIII.—Duke of R—M—D.

[65]
—"With fronte of colde, and weather-beaten braſſe,
"Sullen he moved, and ſlowe, like batt'ring-ramme,
"As if he plann'd indignantlie to raze
"His own proude battelments!—then ſuddenlie
"With humble creſt he ſpake!—
"In mine own workes, chin-deep was I entrench'd,
"Cover'd with baſtions raiſed from mines of golde,
"Defyinge ſap! or ſiege! or coup-de-main!
"Till one howitzer, mounted on an height,
"So gall'd my flankediſmounted all my gunnes,
"That I a parlie beat!—no honours aſk'd,
"Bat march'd me out, unable to contende
"Againſt the wratheful ORDINANCE of Heaven!"
PAGE 101.—Not GENUINE.

LXIV.—Lady W—L—CE.

[66]

‘"Theſe are not the times to ſtand upon a punctilious obſervance of ſexe, or to hide a maſculine boi [...] under the flimſie veil of female delicacie!—Looke upon the Scottiſh bonn [...]e BEL [...]?—a [...] citizen of ever [...] lande! She wears you men's fi [...]ebegs looſelie like a Turke!—can box with Datchet bargemen,—ſw [...] [...]ke a mermaid with her fair face upwards!—and puſh low quarte with the nimbleſt maſters of th' aſſault!—So amphibiouſſie created, as to be ready for any ſervice, by ſea, or lande! I've ſeen her toſſe off a glaſs of flip, and dance a reele on deck, while the weather-beaten veſſel was ſhaking under three reefed ſails!—Put on ſhore, ſhe would [...] to the beat of martial drum, hoiſte up her under-petticoat to drie, and while it was ſhot at by Kentiſhe Volunteers, laugh at the b [...]ling markſmen, for not hitting the target in the bud's eye!"’

PAGE 55.—GENUINE.

FIFTEENTH DAY's TRIAL.

[67]

LXV.—Princeſs R—L.

"No, in good ſoothe!—I am not one of thoſe
"To breathe out ſighes for that vain creature Man
"To lorde it o'er me in an unknown clime!
"Too ſoone the ſofte deluſion of his tongue
"A changeful huſband turns to wanton dames!
"Let others then in patient ſilence ſit,
"And ſee each Ladie of their Courte careſt,
"Or lowlie handmaid of their houſe preferr'd;
"But I'll ne'er pine, or fade in ſplendid ſorrowe,
"Compell'd to weare the ſemblance of delighte,
"While my ſwoln harte is rending with its grief!
"In peace domeſtique rather let me dwelle
"Within the boſome of my native iſle,
"Nor barter bleſſings of a Britiſh growthe,
"For foreigne miſerie in ſtate array'd!"
PAGE 132.—GENUINE.

LXVI.—Duke of M—GH.

[68]
—"He was a marvellous admirer of the Antients, and recommended the antique coinage to the treaſurie of his friendes, content himſelf with hoardinge up the golden produce of the moderne mints! In wordlie wiſdome he had a right ſaving knowledge, ſo that he waſted you no more wordes, than piſtorines!—As a greate man he panted after elbowe-roome—and gained it, by adding unnumber'd acres to his vaſte domaines! He followed not his martial progenitor in ſurrounding vaſt Empires, but indulged himſelf in the pacifique plan of drawing a line of circumvallation round a ſingle Shire!—For this, upon his table ſovereignlie becarpetted, do lie the maps, and charts of neighbouring demeſnes, which, as a mortal with an earthlie-minde, his eye doth greedilie devour!"
PAGE 99.—Not GENUINE.

LXVII.—Mr. T—R—V—S.

[69]

‘"I marvel whether it be profitable, or not, in Jewe, or Gentile, to chaunte ballades of bawdrie for looſe Lordes, and crack luſcious jokes to yielde them the kernels, [...] time hath leſt him tootheleſs?"’

PAGE 181.—GENUINE.

LXVIII.—Lady D—Y T—MP—N.

‘"In daies of yore, I drewe God's Creatures male about me by the light of a lovelie countenance! I had an eye then which made ſome of them ſmart for it: but that's gone bye. So now with lengthened veil, and demitie coats cut ſhort, I ſallie forthe in everie flauntinge breeze, and make them prance like madmen after me, to the elaſtic ſpring of my well-turned leg; while I, a flying Daphne, chide the rude windes which give it to their view!—As for the loſt expreſſion of an eye, it matters not, becauſe a willing tongue abundantlie ſupplyes it!"’

PAGE 48.—Not GENUINE.

SIXTEENTH DAY's TRIAL.

[70]

LXIX.—Lord K—Y—N.

‘—"If he be not great grandſon to the pepper-corn Llewellen, then knowe I noughte of the race of A [...] [...]te Britons!—but let that paſs.—When a ſtriplinge, he did ſerve by virtue of indenture tripartite, old Capia [...], a ſlie b [...]g foxe of the Lawe hard bye the W [...]ken! there picked he up the minor quirkes, and quidlibets; but to the darker myſteries of the blacke Arte, he entered a demurrer! From retailinge Lawe thus in ſmall portions averdupoiſe, he became by degrees the greate diſpenſer of that wholeſome drug to the King's wide commonweale! Still kepte he his ballance ſo nicelie poiſed, that yieldinge to no other weighte, a ſingle ſcruple of his own conſcience would turne the beame. Some liken him to a cholorique Chymiſte, whoſe virtue is tried by his own fire;—but what heedes the outwarde wrathe of him, who hathe a minde within, pure as the mountaine aire which firſt he breathed!"’

PAGE 237.—GENUINE.

LXX.—C—ſs W—DG—VE.

[71]
—"Far from the worlde retired,
"In plaintive widowhoode ſhe paſt her daies!
"The deeplie-graven image of her Lorde
"Was treaſured at her harte, and there faſte bound
"By the dear pledges of a well-tried love!
"Each fleetinge houre ſhe call'd her little traine,
"Looked for ſome featured copie of their Sire,
"In fonde expectancie that ſhe might trace
"A buddinge likeneſſe in each youthful minde,
"Sweete proxie of the noble worthe ſhe loſt!"
PAGE 166.—GENUINE.

LXXI.—Earl P—T.

[72]

‘"Yes, yes, I tell you! the ſame COUNT TIVOLIO who did pennance laſt Lent at the Roman Carnival! A man of taſte ſo much refined, that he will dance along the flintie way to Mantua barefooted, to the tune of a good dinner, ſo that you call not on him to paie the piper! He hathe a nature created with exquiſite ſenſibilitie for bodilie endurance! He ſaith in veritie, that man was faſhioned for long ſufferinges; that if they toſſe him up a chimnie like a pancake, he ought not to murmur—nor complain of thoſe who may kindlie beat him as they do a Turkie carpet, to get the dirt out of it by manual compunction!"’

PAGE 91.—Not GENUINE.

LXXII.—D—ſs of G—D—N.

[73]
"Ken you that Dame from t'other ſide the Tweede?—'Tis the gaie wife of the puiſſant Thane!—Becoming, as Goſſip Fame reports, an analyſer of Burgundian juices, they caught her faire face like the wildfire of St. Anthonie, and cruellie marred its beauties!—Under the radiance of her owne countenance, ſhe can now warmlie delineate all Heaven's created things by their proper names, without further bluſhinge!—Rearing a broode of March chicks wiſelie, ſhe did kindlie accommodate two ſucking Dukes with a pair of them, as greate bridale bargaines! and for her prettie neſtlinge that remains, ſhe doth promiſe to herſelf as goode a market!—Ever merrie is her hearte, that trips it lightlie to a joyous reele, and politique her heade, that games her the choiceſt ſecrets that paſſe between the poles!"
PAGE 113.—Not GENUINE.

SEVENTEENTH DAY's TRIAL.

[74]

LXXIII.—D—ke of G—FT—N.

"How is it, lordie Senators, that a ſmuggled daſh of the bloode regalle curdlinge in a mortal man's veines, ſhould freeze up the genial currente of his ſoule?—If any one hathe neede to gaze upon the puiſſante Hugoito, it muſt be at diſtance vaſt! for he is more loftie than any other of God's creatinge, by many cubittes! Prouder in proſperitie than a pamper'd War-horſe, although in jeopardie of ſtate he bends his raven creſt, till you may drive him before you like a pinion'd Storke: ſo imperious in a fielde of hunters, that every one is inclined to become his WHIPPER-IN right heartilie! 'Tis ſaid an aguiſh kind of love fit attacked him, tottering under the exceſs of power, and that the ſame palpitation ſhooke him out of his Miſtreſs, and hi [...] Place! A raie of ſunſhine once rudelie broke o'er the darke horizon of his viſage, and forced a ſmile; but in penance for the familiar deede, he hath thenceforth doomed his face to the planetarie influence of a diget's eclipſe!"
PAGE 123.—Not GENUINE.

LXXIV.—C—ſs of D—BY.

[75]
"Lo! milde Rowena to her friendes reſtored,
"And all the meedes of innocence and peace,
"Lookes on the troubled waters ſhe has paſt
"With wonder at her owne deliverance!
"Still her faire browe its diadem diſplaies,
"Which female artes would ſain have wreſted from her,
"Pitying ſhe ſees a rival queene be-deckt
"With fancied coronettes of changeful hue;
"While ſhe with witte and pleaſantrie beguiles
"The fleetinge houres; nor doth a painful ſighe
"Her boſom move, ſave one of penitence
"For waywarde errors of unguided youthe!
"Oh! there be thoſe, who ſufferinge like her
"Had ſighed their little hartes in twaine—nay wept [...]
"Two lovelie eyes to ceaſeleſs founts of ſorrowe!"
PAGE 44.—Not GENUINE.

LXXV.—Lord B—G—VE.

[76]

‘"Why, even in the goe-carte of the ſchooles was he made to prattle like unto a linguiſte of Athens, having his gums rubbed every morninge with a Greeke coral by his Alma Mater!—With his yeares grewe an itchinge ambition to become a maker of orations in the dead languages, which few men livinge might comprehende: for this, he attempted to ſpeake with the pebble of Demoſthenes in his mouthe before the aſtoniſhed Senate, which becominge unmanageable, it did unfortunatelie begagg the aſpireinge Declaimer!"’

PAGE 54.—Not GENUINE.

LXXVI.—C—ſs of B—K—M—RE.

[77]

‘—"Playing in all ſhapes, and kindes, doth marvellouſlie delighte me!—I can play moſt adroitlie at a reunde game; and a buſie knife and forke at a rounde table!—Although our Stage be on the decline, I marvel much if it can fall while I continue the maine prop of the Theatre!—Whene'er I do enacte, beare I not all before me?—Ev'n the laſt time I did perform a movinge parte in a piece militarie at the Duke's privie Drama, as I carried off the weſt-end of a fortified towne in my retreate through the ſide wings of his Grace's ſcenerie! The next parte I do aſlume will be that of the Jewiſhe Shylocke, findinge my owne propertie of bearde—after wh [...]ch I will have my pound of fleſhe for ſupper, or my cooke ſhall anſwer for the defaulte by loſſe of his vocation!"’

PAGE. 166.—Not GENUINE.

EIGHTEENTH DAY's TRIAL.

[78]

LXXVII.—Earl of H—TH.

‘"Though begotten in a cloudie nighte, he was moſt noblie brought forthe under lunar influence, and therefore ſoon became a dabbler in myſteries coeleſtial! He was ſo well with the plannettes, that he could put you off an Eclipſe for three weeks upon a ſtretch, to the great confuſion of all aſtronomers!—Deſcended from King Bladud in a converſe line, he did decree himſelfe hereditarie ruler of the tepid Baths, and there tumbled into hot water by virtue of his owne ſpecial prerogative!—As for Minſtrels, and Shew-folkes, he baniſhed them his dominion, becauſe they played the foole more wiſelie than their better!"’

PAGE 114.—GENUINE.

LXXVIII.—P—ſs M—RY.

[79]
"Amid the princelie bloſſomes which adorne
"Old Windſor's happie ſhades, can nature ſhewe
"A fairer flower to bleſſe each [...]aviſh'd ſenſe?
"More bloominge as ſhe ſeems in beautie's ſcale,
"Her minde with all the ſocial graces ſt [...]'d,
"Growes riper yet in ſweete benevolence.—
"Heroic youthes, for chivalrie renown'd,
"When foreigne warfares ſhall no longer rage,
"Turne to this iſle your royale courſe in peace;
"Here viewing well the lovelie treaſure, ſaie,
"Is't fittinge this faire forme ſhould fade unſeen,
"Like the pale lillie in ſequeſter'd vale?"
PAGE 222.—Not GENUINE.

LXXIX.—Arch—p of Y—.

[80]
"In theſe hacking times of war, ſee that your mitred Abbottes be formed out of bluſſe materials—men who will fall to fightinge ere they have whiſtled o'er their holie mattins!—Commende unto me for the heade of the true Churche Militante, the moſt reverend Thwack-hauſſen!—he hathe a mightie arme for conqueringe the ſtubborne fleſhe of others, and from his earlieſt daies hath ruled it with a birchen ſceptre!"
PAGE 23.—Not GENUINE.

LXXX.—Mrs. C—NC—N.

—"Our houſe is deſtined for the ſeene of whimſical adventures! Unrobeinge myſelfe in my chamber the other nighte, methoughte I hearde ſome ſtrange noiſe not far diſtant from my bed!—fearfullie I ſearched in vaine, the place moſt likelie to conceal a man—but lookinge underneath the vallence, I eſpied one, at the ſighte of whome my life-bloode ebhed, and in my ſwoone the ruſſian 'ſcap'd away!—What his buſine [...] could be under the bed I cannot divine—but he meant no goode, or ſurelie he had not been there!"
PAGE 321.—GE [...]

NINETEENTH DAY's TRIAL.

[81]

LXXXI.—Mrs. M—ST—RS

"Havocke I wotte, hathe this faire Syren made
"Mid poore men's mortal hartes, beſtricken with
'The keeene blue light'ning of her roguiſh eyes
"Still Beautie's flauntinge banner ſhe diſplaies
"With all the little loves ſo cluſter'd rounde,
"That TIME himſelfe enliſtes her gaie gallante,
"Bids all her yeares roll pleaſurablie on,
"Allowes nor furrowe to deſpoile her browe,
'Nor ſingle roſe-bud to forſake her cheeke,
"That to his deſolating power no charge
Might lie, for loſſe of lovelineſſe ſo rare!"
PAGE [...]23—GE [...]

LXXXII.—Duke of C [...] [...]

[82]
—"Amphibious form'd,
"O'er ſea and land indignantlie he roll'd,
"As if no element beneathe the ſtarres
"Were worthie his dominion!—Yet ſtoop'd he
"To female yoke, and humblie then became
"The foſter father of ſome merrie prankes
"Which his harte's Qu [...]n with other folke had play'd
"Though he's a Princelie Chiefe of bouncing wordes
"One pepperinge vollie of her comicke clacke
"Larums his mightie ſoul to mute ſubjection!"
PAGE 44.—Not GENUINE

LXXXIII.—Miſs P—LH—M.

[83]
"Oh! the ſhe-ſharkes who ſurrounde the tables of chance, devoured all my ducattes in my youthe, and now they ſhie at my miſerie, like a prieſte at a poore mendicant!—I am nightlie refuſed the loane of a [...]ingle ſtake for one ſolitarie cocke; ſo that, biteinge my fingers ends in madneſſe, I ſit now an idle ſpectator of [...]ortune's miſcluefe, without a conſoleing ſhare in the undoinge of others!"
PAGE 20.—Not GENUINE

LXXXIV.—Mr. M— [...]LET—N.

[84]
"What art thou, memorie, but a raſh obtruder?— [...] a fell deſpoiler of man's fortune! The little ſhare of thy retentive facultie I do poſſeſſe, I will uſe as warie men do a darke lanthorne, making it viſible on lie to illumine their owne pathe!—For my parte, I'll put a remembrance on no one's wordes—not even on my owne, if it be not my goode pleaſure—Why ſhould I weare a memorie, like a tablet on a market croſſe, to make inquiſitive knaves as wiſe as myſelfe'—I am well travelled i' th' manners of the Eaſt; ſo that, would men derive information from me, it muſt be as from the radiant dial, which anſwers interrogatorie none, unleſſe you make the ſun to ſhine right ſmilinglie upon it!"
PAGE 10.—GENUINE

TWENTIETH DAY's TRIAL.

[85]

LXXXV.—Marquiſs C—NW—S.

—"What though his bodie
"Yielde to the fraile infirmities of nature,
"His loftie mind atchievements hath in ſtore,
"O'er which brighte Honour proudlie may diſplaie
"His pureſt ſtandarde!—Not in carnaged fieldes
"Beflowed with human gore, are we to ſearche
"For his faire fame, but in ſurviving hoſtes,
"In vanquiſh'd countries, and their proſtrate chiefes
"Reſcued by him from wanton deſolation:
"Such are th' heroicke deedes which Virtue claimes
"Of mightie valour!"
PAGE 76.—GENUINE

LXXXVI.—Miſs VAN—CK.

[86]

‘—"They ſhall find me ſomebodie in the P [...] Chamber, ſince they have choſen me Bearer of her Highneſſe' Privie Purſe!—Though as yet but an [...] honour, I do accept it in the fullneſs of my grace right thankfullie.—Nowe that I grow in ſtate, as well as ſtature, the PRINCE may comment at his pleaſure on the comelineſs of my perſon; and I will give the Wag a grilled Capon, with catches and glees, whenever it may ſuite his royale humour to ſojourne with me ſoberlie at midnighte!"’

PAGE 22.—Not GENUINE.

LXXXVII.—Earl of INC—Q—N.

[87]
—"By the holie St. Patricke, but I have been a ſpend-thrifte after the polite artes, by which I might be able one day or t'other to t [...]rn a ſaving pennie!—Being born executor to Sir Launcelot, the great [...]mner, I had the over-rummaging of all his pieces, both dead and alive! Och! to be ſure and I did not eſpie me a prettie tight kit-cat among them, in which there was g [...]e keepinge: ſo with a little [...]yle varriſ [...]s of Blarney, I brought out the beauties of the ſweete Crat [...], to ſecure them, d'ye ſee, in my own private Collection!"
PAGE 33.—Not GENUINE.

LXXXVIII.—C—ſs of B—SR—CH.

[88]
"Far you might trace ROWENA's ſad returne
"By teares inceſſante which bedew'd her way
"Ah! wherefore journie into diſtante climes
"For that repoſe the minde had loſt at home?
"Swiftlie the rumour of our early deedes
"Flies on before us, and dothe of-times blighte
"Thoſe poppie flowrets which our fancie rear'd
"To ſtrew oblivious over our ſorrowes paſt!—
"Reſt now faire wanderer within our iſle;
"And if domeſtique ſolace thou wouldſt knowe,
"Oh ſhun the Circe artes of thine own ſexe,
"Which ruine more, than thoſe of man's undoing!"
PAGE 101.—GENUI [...]

TWENTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.

[89]

LXXXIX.—Duke of R—TL—D.

—"If I had not eſcaped me from the under-petticoates of theſe d [...]atinge DOWAGERS, they would have ſmothered my peeringe manhoode with the warmthe of their maternal affection!—One of them read me nightlie lectures on the beauties paramount of the antique; and theſe, with boyiſh rapture, did I eſtudie, until her Grace, my better-knowinge Mother, chid me for my follie, and bade me launche my buoyant barque upon the flowing tide of youtheful tranſportes!"
PAGE 87.—GENUINE.

XC.—March—ſs of T—CHP— [...].

[90]
"Saie, when you likened it to new fallen ſnowe,
"And planted countleſſe kiſſes on my hande,
"Was it in rapture o'er its outwarde ſhape,
"Or what its golden palme did then containe?
"Whate'er the motive of this worſhipe—take't,
"And all the treaſure which it doth poſſeſs:
"I praie you look not ſcrupulouſlie nice
"At its contentes; of g [...]lde there is enough
"To rub, and poliſhe o'er the ruſtic ſpots
"With which dire povertie dothe ſometimes blu [...]
"The nobleſt ermine!—Howe it were begotte.
"That heede not now: ſhould ſome be found that's baſe,
"'Tis fitter barter for thoſe bauble plumes
[91] "With which weak women do their pride ennoble!
"Huſbande this wealthe right well my Lorde, if not
"Your wife; 'twill aide you in thoſe times of neede,
"When vain diſtinctions may be trod to duſte,
"And all your plighted vowes be loſt in aire!
"—So take me as you found me, SCOT, and lot!
"But ſee you fairlie deal at preſent by me,
"For I was trained to know when people do * plaie foule."
PAGE 210.—Not GENUINE.

XCI.—Mr. Secretary W—ND—M.

[92]
—"How ſharplie ſette are all his ſeven wittes for the affaires of State! Amidſt our Sovereigne Lorde's right ſapiente adviſers, that's the man who will make the moſt of a ſhatter'd braine, my life on't! By the maſſe, but he will ſub-divide you the pericranium human into as many crooked axioms as there be haires on the ſcalpe of a wilde Indian! then ſo deeplie ſkilled is he in your mathematiques, that he will ſet any one's toothe on edge by the mere fileing of his logical ſawe!—Moſt wiſelie did they conſtitute him their Secretarie of WARFARE, becauſe he could write a legible hande in ſlaughter; nay, and prove upon a pinche, by his bob-minors and majors, that the Conſtitution is phyſically undone, unleſſe it be let bloode freelie in the KYNGE's name!"
PAGE 123.—GENU [...]

XCII.—Mrs. GR—Y.

[93]

‘"This wedded ſparke of mine would make a huſbande far more conjugal, if he were a Stateſman leſs conſequential!—At times, when I do fondlie interpret the language of a looke, to the gaze of admiration on the perſon he did ſweare to love, for better and for worſe—he dothe my verie ſoule bechill with ſome exclamation of—the GENTLEMAN in his eye!"’—Now quicklie turning rounde, threatens to—‘"divide the Houſe"’—with which in wedlocke he en [...]owed me!—Anon he whiſpers in mine ear ſomewhat of ‘"a motion he would make;"’—but ſoone, alack, cries out, ‘"I've loſt it by the previous queſtion!"’—Heaven defende his ſweete wittes, and direct them to one faire point of love or politiques, for, in their divided ſtate, I feare he'll marr them bothe!"’

PAGE 44—Not GENUINE.

TWENTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.

[94]

XCIII.—Sir JOSEPH M—WB—Y.

‘"I am neighbour, at nexte doore, to Sir HUGO BO [...] SKIM, the ſturdie Knighte, who picked up his crumbes in the pig-market! The comelie ſauſage-women ha [...]d by the Poultrie do bend the knee of curtiſie to his Worſhip, becauſe he dealeth hugelie in ſwtne's fleſhe!—Once on a time he was accounted a man of witte, and then fitlie choſen to repreſent his own hoggerie in ſage convention. Moreover, he had an intrigue with an underlinge of the Muſes, from whence ſprung Ch [...] mas Ca [...]rols, and Bellmen's Verſes, to the marvellous annoyance of ſounde ſleepers!"’

PAGE 66—Not GENUINE

XCIV.—Counteſs of CH—TH—M.

[95]
"Aye! there's a creature feminine, of whome
"The worlde may proudlie boaſt.—With ſtore of charmes
"And blandiſhments that ſo bedeck the ſexe,
"She, from the yieldinge of her gentle harte,
"Hathe walk'd fair honour's hand-maide,—earlie ſhunn'd
"The flauntinge ſcenes of Courte parade, to acte
"The humbler duties of domeſtique life.
"Simpl [...]e attired, as innocent in minde,
"With all the ſweete benevolences graced,
"Her poliſh, 'came by habit ſo engrained,
"That Slander's biteing [...]ile could never touche it!"
PAGE 55.—GENUINE.

XCV—Mr. STR—T, (late Member for MALDO [...]

[96]

‘—"No idle prater he, but a dealer in fewe wordes; and thoſe he doth vouchſafe to utter, carrie with them a convincing charme! There is ev'n ſuch magique in his monoſyllables, that a ſingle negation of his i' th' Senate hath ſtrucke your Partie-mongers dumbe!"’

PAGE 46.—GENUINE

XCVI.—Lady MARY D—NC—N.

[97]

‘—"Becauſe it did her Ladie-ſhip delighte, to mounte her on ſome barren ſtaffe, like birchen broome, ſhe was a WEIRD SISTER, wrongfullie y'clep'd!—In veritie ſhe is the widowed remnant of the DUNCAN race, allied to rapes, and maſſacres of yore!—for this hathe ſhe unſexed herſelf to mortal ſighte, that men might marvel on her gender, and ſhe avoide thoſe perils known to bothe!—She hathe a meltinge ſoule for melodie, which in charitie ſhe lendes to knaves deſpoiled, who chaunte their earlie loſſe in lamentable ſtrames!"’

PAGE 39.—Not GENUINE.

TWENTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

[98]

XCVII.—Lord W—M G—RD—N.

"Time was, I roved through Beautie's gay parter [...]e,
"And cull'd the ſweeteſt bloſſomes of the ſpring:
"But now, alack! mine own poor leafe grows ſeare
"And fadeth with the frailties of the fleſhe!
"Then what availe the youthful daies I've known,
"The ſillie hartes with perjured vowes I've limed,
"And all the pageantrie of lawleſſe love?"
PAGE 66.—Not GENUINE

XCVIII.—Mrs. M—YN—L.

[99]

‘—"My kennel-bred Sparke, dothe fume and frette, like one of his own mad packe, at the parchinge drought which thus his Chace delaies.—Indeed I think it longe myſelf ere he can hie his mettled houndes once more to cover—till then, the harveſt is kept backe from which I yearlie reape my gaier prodigalities. For this, like DIAN, do I ſit the jollie matron of an Hunter's boarde, while minor Dukes and whelp-linge Lordes with Bumpers charged, to me appeal, on flyinge Leapes which they ſo madlie take?—whoſe learthern gaſkins are of trimmeſt ſhape? or who does talihoo the ſighted Foxe in ſtraines of loudeſt diſſonance?"’

PAGE 56.—Not GENUINE.

XCIX.—Admiral Lord BR—DP—T.

[100]

‘—"That ſturdie ſon of Neptune doth mine [...] ſuite right well [...]—where'er his ſtreamers flie, the [...] [...] be-lorde it o'er the element of waters, that not a [...] Gallique barque will he permit to ride in ſuretie on it—Roughe as the blowinge tempeſt of the Northe is h [...] afloate—but when on ſhore, the milder influences prevaile againe, and ſwaye his minde to calm urbanitie"’

PAGE 114.—GENUINE

C.—D—ſs of D—V—RE.

[101]
"Saie, how can earth's groſs meteor, long abide,
"When heaven's owne planets topple from their height?
"You lovelie orbe which nowe is on the wane,
"And but by ſhepherdes ſeene at twilight grey,
"Was once the morning ſtarre that did ariſe
"Moſt radiantlie be-gemmed?—A gazing worlde
"Confeſt its genial influence around!
"Wiſe men did journie from the Eaſte to view't,
"And bend in humble adoration of its power!
"But now 'tis falling from its circled heighte,
"To leave a darken'd void 'mid beautie's ſphere!"
PAGE 221.—GENUINE.
[]
END OF VOL. I
Notes
*
Alluding, as Mr. MALONE ſhrewdly ſuſpects, to the extraordinary whim of a Naturaliſt in thoſe days, who devoted his latter years to the humane office of taming a TOAD, and a BADGER! After reconciling their rude antipathies, he domeſticated them with ſo much addreſs to his own family, as at laſt to boaſt of them, as a pair of the moſt rational beings in the whole circle of his acquaintance!
*
Mr. MALONE, but with a becoming diffidence on ſo delicate a point, is inclined to think ‘"that the immortal BARD here levels a favourite PUN at ſome family anecdotes, well known at that aera in the Annals of GAMING."’
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Zitationsvorschlag für dieses Objekt
TextGrid Repository (2020). TEI. 5229 Passages selected by distinguished personages on the great literary trial of Vortigern and Rowena a comi tragedy Volume I pt 1. University of Oxford Text Archive. . https://hdl.handle.net/21.T11991/0000-001A-605B-2