VORTIGERN AND ROWENA; A COMI-TRAGEDY.
PASSAGES SELECTED BY DISTINGUISHED PERSONAGES, ON THE GREAT LITERARY TRIAL OF VORTIGERN AND ROWENA; A Comi-Tragedy.
VOLUME I.
SEVENTH EDITION.
LONDON: PRINTED BY H. BROWN, FOR J. RIDGWAY, YORK-STREET, ST. JAMES'S-SQUARE.
DEDICATION.
TO THE Moſt NOBLE!—Moſt ILLUSTRIOUS! Moſt PUISSANT!—Moſt MAGNIFICENT! Moſt IRRADIATING
IN THE BRIGHT GALAXY OF THE BRITISH PEERAGE, JAMES MARQUIS OF SALISBURY, K.G. &c! &c! &c! &c! &c! &c!
[]THE diſputed RECORDS of AN⯑TIENT POESY here incloſed, would be de⯑baſed by a depoſit in any other hands, than that cleanly pair, which ſo peculiarly appertain to your Lordſhip, as CUSTOS ROTULORUM of the MUSES! I diſcharge but my official [vi] duty then, in placing them under your ſtu⯑pendous protection!—But as MAGICO-MA⯑NAGER of the WHITE-WAND, and GRAND MASTER of REFINED ARTS, you muſt al⯑low me to look up to your HIGH MIGHTI⯑NESS with the reſt of mankind,—an aſtoniſhed Gazer!
PREFACE.
[]As far as this intereſting TRIAL. has gone, it has been conducted with that rigid impartiality which ſo particularly diſtinguiſhes the various Courts of BRITISH JURISPRUDENCE!—How it may ter⯑minate can be known only to the ruler of theſe great events: indeed, from the contrariety of weighty evidence already advanced, and the cloud of teſtimonies yet to be adduced, it would be highly indecorous, to indulge even a conjecture upon the probability of its deciſion!!
The COURT have wiſely reſolved to ſit without further adjournment, in order now to receive at their Bar, the evidence of the firſt POLITICAL, and LI⯑TERARY Characters, againſt whom, exceptions were ſo ingeniouſly taken by Council, but which however have all been moſt conſtitutionally over-ruled. Theſe [viii] being gone through, the ſage and learned POLONIUS in perſon, will ſum up the whole evidence, and after delivering a ſolemn and eloquent charge from the Bench, receive from the GRAND INQUEST, that VERDICT. which no doubt, will ſoon tend to the complete adminiſtration of LITERARY JUSTICE, by ſetting this GREAT QUESTION at reſt for ever!!!
[]VORTIGERN AND ROWENA; A COMI-TRAGEDY.
PENDING the diſtinguiſhed inqueſt under which the fact is now trying, whether the newly diſcovered DRAMA, is, or is not from the pen of SHAK⯑SPEARE, it would be highly indecorous to hazard a ſingle conjecture upon it.—The EDITOR, therefore, will content himſelf with merely giving a faithful tranſcript of all that has been ſucceſſively recorded on this important ſubject in that faſhionable Intel⯑ligencer the MORNING HERALD: only remarking, that whatever may be the final iſſue of the TRIAL, the paſſages ſelected from the Piece itſelf by the ſe⯑veral [2] VOTERS, pro and con. muſt remain indelible proofs of the diſcriminative taſte of thoſe, who have here ſo characteriſtically enrolled themſelves in de⯑fence of our BELLES LETTRES.
The following is the paragraphical CHAIN by which this great Literary Concern has been brought into ſuch general notice; viz.
PARAGRAPH.
The SHAKSPEARE diſcoveries, ſaid to be made by the ſon of Mr. IRELAND, of Norfolk-ſtreet, are the Tragedy of LEAR, and another entitled VOR⯑TIGERN and ROWENA, now firſt brought to light, and both in the Bard's own hand-writing:—in the ſame cheſt are ſaid to have been alſo found an antique MELANGE of love letters!—profeſſions of faith!—billet doux!—locks of hair!—and family receipts!—The only danger, reſpecting faith in the diſcovery, ſeems to be from the indiſcretion of finding too much! [3] If poor CHATTERTON had contented himſelf, with drawing literary treaſure in moderation from the monkiſh cheſt of ROWLEY, his own inventive genius had probably remained unknown!
ANOTHER.
Mr. IRELAND's Tragedy of VORTIGERN, whe⯑ther ſterling, or fictitious, is to go to Drury-lane. Mr. SHERIDAN, ſays, ‘"it is the fineſt play that SHAKSPEARE ever wrote!’—not that he has had leiſure yet to read it—but he had it from an autho⯑rity as claſſical, and unqueſtionably as his own judg⯑ment; viz. the ſolemn aſſurance of the great Lord SALISBURY himſelf, a Critic, only ſix removes, by lineal deſcent, from Mr. SHERIDAN's own immor⯑tal BURLEIGH!
FOR THE MORNING HERALD.
[4]Your SHAKSPEARE correſpondents know but little of what is going forward in the mine of diſco⯑very! Lord, Sir, if they wiſh to get at the whole truth, they muſt dip deep into the old cheſt, as the an⯑cients did into the Pierean well!—indeed they are not correct even in what they have ſtated. For in⯑ſtance,—the precious LOCK OF HAIR! how comes it, they were ſo ignorant, as not to know, that Mr. Juſtice COLLICK, the firſt Hair Merchant in the univerſe, has critically inſpected it, and, re⯑gardleſs of the ſacred head of fiction from whence it was ſhorn, he, as a man of buſineſs, could only be brought to ſay, that if the whole ſtring were as good as the ſample, it was worth no more in the trade, than 3s. 9d. an ounce?—The pointed diſtich on the envelope, however, as his Grace of LEEDS declares, is worth a million!—Here it is:
[5] By which our annotators will no doubt tell us, that the Warwickſhire WAG quaintly inculcates the youthful libertiniſm of—catch, as catch can!—Among the more recent treaſures, are a moth-eaten under PETTICOAT, an undoubted original! Mr. MALONE, who, with all his ability, knows but lit⯑tle about petticoats, ſays, this could be no part of the paraphernalia of the immortal Bard;—but Mrs. PIOZZI, and the whole Blue Stocking Club, are de⯑cidedly of a contrary opinion, and that for the beſt of all feminine reaſons; viz. becauſe Miſs HATH⯑AWAY, when ſhe became Mrs. SHAKSPEARE, ne⯑ver failed to wear the BREECHES!—we have alſo Mr. Boſwell's authority for this, amongſt other domeſtica facta of the Poet. The next curioſity for the amateurs, is, a love VALENTINE, ſurrounded, according to antient uſage, with hearts! cupids! doves! and darts! and in the centre, a typifying figure of a cock without a combe, (according to an⯑tique ſpelling) with this inexplicable anagram:
[6] From this, ſome of the inſpecting Literati are cruel enough to infer, that SHAKSPEARE muſt have had an intriguc with the daughter of his ancient enemy John a COOMBE,—the undoubted anceſtor of the preſent Oppoſition ALDERMAN, who has the honour of bearing that diſtinguiſhed name!
The laſt MORCEAU I ſhall treat you with at this time, is ſelected from the RECEIPTS, viz.‘"A RECIPEE howe to make a GOODLIE PLUMBE PUDINGE."’
Even Mr. STEEVENS admits the unqueſtionable authenticity of this valuable addendum to the cull⯑nary art, by declaring, that Shakſpeare could not endure the ſtones of plumbs, which, from ſetting his teeth on edge, were called jar raiſins; and literally gives an appropriate citation of the following paſ⯑ſage, from the Poet's own words, which will cer⯑tainly be received as the beſt gloſſary to his own plumb pudding: ‘"SYLVUS.—Put dates enough into the bag: but, deareſt chuck, I prithee make me geldings of the PLUMBES!"’
[7] You ſhall have further documents, equally impor⯑tant and authentic, in a few days, from, Mr. Editor,
PARAGRAPH.
We have it from high authority, that the merits of the great queſtion, reſpecting the originality of the newly diſcovered PLAY, are put into a train of inveſtigation, before a LITERARY COURT of EN⯑QUIRY, which cannot fail of the moſt candid, and judicious deciſion:—It will be managed under the auſpices of an illuſtrious perſonage, who fortunately unites in his ſingular character, all the critical and judicial talents, requiſite for ſo ſolemn a diſquiſition!
TO CORRESPONDENTS.
[8]*⁎* The PROCESSION, on opening the LITERARY COURT to try the important QUESTION, whether VOR⯑TIGERN and ROWENA, is, or is not from the PEN of SHAKSPEARE? is intended for to-morrow's HERALD.
PARAGRAPH.
VORTIGERN AND ROWENA!!!
IT is with much concern we announce, that the PROCESSION, preparatory to opening the Literary Court of Inqueſt, to try whether this DRAMA is, or is not written by SHAKSPEARE, was obliged to be ſuſpended till Wedneſday by an unpleaſant acci⯑dent. Signor DELPINI, that man of mighty mouth, who was to have walked as Champion to a PRODI⯑GIOUS COURTIER, unfortunately diſlocated his jaw bone in practiſing an Ariſtocratic Grin, in compli⯑ment to his illuſtrious Patron!—However, the Sieur FOLLET, almoſt equally great in the happy diſtor⯑tions of the human countenance, has kindly under⯑taken this intereſting part, and to be ready in it, that day at noon, when this introductory ſpectacle will certainly take place, and our readers be no longer kept in a ſtate of anxious expectancy!
FOR THE MORNING HERALD. VORTIGERN AND ROWENA! A COMI-TRAGEDY!
[9]Yeſterday morning, at eleven o'clock, the ſeveral Officers, and other great Perſonages, aſſembled at the HUM MUMS, in Covent Garden, and from thence marched to the LITERARY COURT, in Norfolk-ſtreet, in the following STATE PROCESSION, viz.
Four MUTES, With their fore fingers placed on their lips.
A Bronze of Signor DELPINI,
In his happieſt ſtile of face!
THE LOCK OF HAIR
Of Miſs HATHAWAY, afterwards the happy
MRS. SHAKSPEARE,
Borne by Mr. Juſtice COLLICK, Hair Merchant,
His train ſupported by an Unlicenſed HAIR-DRESSER, diſhevelled, and without powder! preceded by a Ban⯑ner, dedicated
To WIGGISM!
[10]The Chief COOK of the Crown and Anchor Tavern, with cheeks a la blaze! carrying—on a trencher—The Book of FAMILY RECEIPTS! Six TRUNK MAKERS, two and two.
The Antique TRUNK
Covered with ASS-SKIN ſtill perfect, but ſurcharged with moth, black beetles, and cob-webs!—the flappets of the covering ſupported by the ſix Senior ANNOTATORS on the Immortal BARD, and their train upheld by an equal number of FARCE Writers.—A Banner follow⯑ing, inſcribed
Sacred to FICTION!
The PROMPTER of DRURY-LANE, gagged!
The Dramatic FAITH of Mr. SHERIDAN,
Delicately concealed in a Snow-drop,
And borne by Mr. KEMBLE, riding on an ELEPHANT,
Over whom waved a Streamer diſplaying the word MANAGEMENT!
A Groupe of SPIRITS—blue! red! black! and grey!
A Waxen Semblance of
The Mighty BURLEIGH!
His Banner advanced before, diſplaying
Three DRIED NEATS TONGUES,
The Family Arms, with their Motto,
"ELOQUENCE!"
[11] The DANISH CHAMBERLAIN POLONIUS,
With his White Wand of Office, and his Train ſupported by
Three OPERA EUNUCHS!
The Sieur FOLLET,
In the Armour of HAMLET's GHOST, bearing the
Club of HERCULES, as his CHAMPION.
An Emboſſed MONEY-BAG,
With "LICENCES at any PRICE!"
Inſcribed in Golden Characters.
Six FIDLERS, with broken bows!
Six FEMALE SINGERS, weeping!
BANNER—"Sacred to HARMONY!"
Sir FRETFUL,
Carried in torture on his own WHEEL!
The BLUE-Stocking CLUB
Slip-ſhod, and garter'd below knee!
VORTIGERN,
Repreſented by Mr. Kiddy DAVIS, as the only Gentleman of either Theatre, ſkilled in the Etiquette of Saxon Dig⯑nities, ſupported by the Under HARLEQUIN oſ Drury—Mr. DAVIS making it a ſpecial requeſt, that his Train-bearer might be one who well underſtood trap!
[12] DRAMATIC PERFORMERS,
Walking in pairs, after the antique faſhion of
entering NOAH's ARK.
SCENT- [...]ERS, &c. &c. &c.
The auguſt proceſſion entered the COURT about one, when the Commiſſion was opened in due form: the intereſting particulars of which, we hope to re⯑cord on Friday next.
FIRST DAY's TRIAL.
VORTIGERN AND ROWENA: A COMI-TRAGEDY.
[13]AS ſoon as the Court was opened with all due for⯑malities, the DANISH CHAMBERLAIN, Lord POLONIUS, aroſe, and gracefully made an obei⯑ſance to himſelf in a ſpacious Mirror, which was inſtantly returned by a figure of ſimilar dignity, from this STATE REFLECTOR, dexterouſly placed in the front of the CHAIR, that his Lord⯑ſhip might have the judicial advantage of ſeeing what he himſelf was about, which no other perſon in the Court could ever know, or poſſibly divine!—The Sieur FOLLET, as Chamberlain's Grand [14] CHAMPION, then gigantically advanced, and after throwing down his gauge, and thrice brandiſhing his Herculean Club, affixed a written PROCLA⯑MATION to its butt, when placing the ſmaller end on the bridge of his noſe, the following pre⯑liminary CHALLENGE became viſible to all around; viz.
"If any one preſent dare gainſay, that the Lord POLO⯑NIUS is the moſt witty! moſt wiſe! moſt valorous! moſt eloquent! moſt diſintereſted! moſt beloved! moſt puiſſant! moſt chaſte! let him come forth, and I, the unworthy Champion of that mighty Lord, will tell him, that he lyes in his teeth; and, from my furious wrath the Lord deliver his miſerable carcaſe!!?"
[Here an enraged Muſician indignantly advanced, with an intent, as was ſuppoſed, to take up the glove: but was prevented, in being humanely knocked down by one of the Beef-caters.]—A nod manda⯑tory was now given from the Chair as a cue to the principal Harlequin, who, waving his dagger of lath over a richly inlaid tablet, a pair of folding doors of ophir flew open, and diſcovered an irra⯑diating glory of aethereal blue and gold, darting its [15] tranſcendent beams on the Title Page of an antique volume in quarto, curiouſly filligreed, and fretted with moths and earwigs, and entitled ‘VORTIGERN AND ROWENA;’
On Harlequin waving his lath a ſecond time, a light coloured cloud gently deſcended to a ſoft ſtrain of Aeolian meaſure, which opening, diſplayed a ſcrowl with this Inſcription—
[16] The inſtantaneous preſſing forward of the Litera⯑ti! Cognoſcenti! Diletanti! &c. &c. of both ſexes, to inſpect the Record, was ſo great and violent, that it reached even the Chair of State like an electric ſhock! when Polonius, riſing up, in digni⯑fied diſmay, ſignified to his officers, by the pale vi⯑bration of his noſtrils, that it was his mighty plea⯑ſure the Court ſhould be adjourned! This was effected by the taliſmatic ſword of Harlequin as ſoon as poſſible, but not till a few puſhing characters of the Literary Jurors had fixed on the following paſſages, and enregiſtered their votes thereon; viz.
PASSAGES SELECTED AS SUFFRAGES ON THE FIRST DAY's TRIAL; viz.
I.—Lady CH. C—B—LL.
[17]II.—Mr. B—F—Y.
[18]‘"I do remember him a quaker boy to a Liſbon Vintner, who at morne waſhed his facre face in the Tagus to ad⯑mire it in its glaſſe!—Next a grande compounder of ſours and ſweetes—himſelfe the quinteſſence of bothe? Then was he a medlar in debate, until his eloquence leaked to the lees: now makes he oceans of plum wine, and, by contacte betweene water and browne ſugar, will he muddle Chriſtian men, as warie Dames catche flies!"’
III—Lady A. MURRAY.
IV.—Lord TH—RL—W.
[19]V.—Mr. ST—V—NS.
‘—"He was, by ‘"an indenture to witte,"’ appren⯑ticed to a twiſter of common ſenſe, and afterwards ſet up fancie-monger on his own bottome: he lives now by ſtitching motlie buttons on dead Bards' jackets! And yet this varlet has humour; for he'll laughe you till his ſides crack at his own comical disfigurements!"’
SECOND DAY's TRIAL.
[20]ON reſuming the Grand Literary COURT on Sa⯑turday, order was happily reſtored, by an emanation of that official wiſdom with which the LORD POLO⯑NIUS is ſo peculiarly gifted! A golden padlock, it ſeems, had been moſt delicately affixed that morning to the antique claſps of the COMI-TRAGEDY. This, at firſt, naturally excited a little ſurprize, but it was ſoon diſpelled by the very graceful delivery of the following State Paper, from the courtly hand of Mr. Kiddy DAVIS, of the Thea⯑tre Royal, Covent Garden, whom the Manager has kindly lent, as SAXON REPRESENTATIVE in waiting of the heroic VORTIGERN!
(COPY.)
BY AUTHORITY!!
It is ORDERED, that no perſon, of what rank, quality. or degree ſoever, ſhall preſume to take any part, ſhare, or intereſt in, or give any public opinion on, the ſacred DRAMA of Vortigern and Rowena, until ſuch perſon [21] ſhall have been firſt duly inveſted with a Two Guinea ſtamped LICENCE, under our hand and ſeal, on pain, and peril of being proſecuted with the utmoſt rigour, as a Vagabond, under the wholeſome ſtatute, entitled, "The Vag [...]ant ACT!" "ſo wiſely inſtituted for the correction of ſuch State abuſes!
This was allowed by all the knowing ones preſent, to be a thou, ht of the moſt profound polity, and equal to any thing recorded of the ſagacious Houſe of BURLEIGH! It naturally branched itſelf into a two-fold good; viz. 1. as a touch-ſtone of inſurance as to the qualification. and ability of voters!—2dly—which his Lordſhip's liberality muſt mark as the principal conſideration.—it inſtantly made the Li⯑terary Inqueſt more ſelect, tended to exped [...]e the proceedings of the Court, and thus pa [...]tically ex⯑poſe the endleſs duration of Haſtings' Impeachment. Licences were accordingly taken out by thoſe who were prepared for this voluntary LEVY: and thoſe who were not, were very decorouſly kicked out of Court!
[22] Another decree of a ſubordinate kind, likewiſe paſſed, viz. to change the ſuffrage, annexed to the choſen Paſſages, from GUILTY and Not GUILTY, to "GENUINE" and "Not GENUINE;"—the vulgar repetition of the ſound of guilt, &c. being ſometimes obſerved to raiſe a demi-bluſh of confuſion on the OFFICIAL cheek!—The ſolemn buſineſs of the day then commenced.
The following is the Liſt of Licenced VOTERS, and their ſelected Paſſages, enregiſtered at this Sit⯑ting, which we are promiſed in time for to-morrow's publication, viz.
- 5. Marg. ANS—H.
- 6. Earl H—WE.
- 7. Hon Mrs. ST—N—PE.
- 8. Mrs. FIIZ—T.
- 9. Lord CH—R.
- 10. Marquis TOW—D.
The CLERK in COURT has directed us to make an Frratum in our firſt day's report, on the Paſſage which Mr. B—F—Y had ſo aptly ſelected for his conſcientious ſuffrage to repoſe on!—we there⯑fore requeſt that the Cognoſcenti will eraſe, and thus amend the Record:
[23] This emendation is unqueſtionably due to com⯑mon decency as well as common ſenſe. The word facre, as a Saxon derivative, unfortunately ſignifies ſallow! it cannot therefore be ſuppoſed by thoſe in any habits with the worthy Member for Yarmouth. that a Gentleman, naturally conſcious of ſo fair a face himſelf, could have ſelected a paſſage thus per⯑ſonally repugnant to his own taſte and feelings!
VI.—Marg—ne of AN—P—CH.
‘"Oh! ſhe would enacte you, from earlieſt youthe, ſcenes to bewitche men's eyes! and eares! and hartes!—Of late ſhe did performe the QUEENE right regallie; and got a goodlie Sir to play her FOOLE!—Heaven bleſſe her Highneſſe: for ſhe hath had her ups, and downes in this madde worlde in plentie!"’
VII.—Earl H—WE.
[24]VIII.—Hon. Mrs. ST—N—PE.
IX.—Lord CH—R.
[25]X.—Mrs. FITZ—T.
X—Marq—s TOW—D.
[26]THIRD DAY's TRIAL.
[27]XI.—Lord E—DL—Y.
XII—Ducheſs of Y—K.
XIII.—Miſs OC—E.
[28]XIV.—Sir JOHN S—N [...]— [...].
XV.—Lady AR—R.
[29]XVI.—Mr. T— TH—MP—N.
FOURTH DAY's TRIAL.
[30]XVII.—P—ss of W—L—S.
XVIII.—Duke of P—D.
[31]XIX.—D—ss of C—D.
XX.—Sir WM. D—LB—N.
[32]XXI.—Hon. Mrs. D—R.
XXII.—Mr. B—KE.
[33]‘"I knewe a buſie Eſquire who conſumed his daies in rakeing fierrie coales under the Cauldron o'the State to make hotte water!—yet he had genius, with which he ſublimelie ſoared beyond human ken! it was alſo beautiful—for it ſcorned to traverſe in a ſtrait line;—heaven bleſs ſuche wittes from the foule fiende?"’
FIFTH DAY's TRIAL.
[34]XXIII.—Earl of C—RL—LE.
‘"Thoughe once a Commiſſioner on a ſimple embaſſie, am I enacted a bond-man perpetual under the huge SEALE of follie?—Being both my friendes, and Stateſmen now at oddes, you do mine honour much injurie! You have ſtucke me up as a pent-houſe, under which to meete, and call each other foule names by virtue of your pre⯑rogative courtlie! Doubtleſs, you will next expecte to ſhoote deadlie metal at each other, through my ſtatelie bodie!—But thankes to my Witte, I have the gifte of rhyme; ſo will I ſpeciallie indite my grievances in metre, that wiſe men may admire, and pitie me!"’
XXIV.—Marc—ſs T—NS—D.
[35]XXV.—Mr. C—NN—G.
‘"Before the moulting time, he promiſed to be a prettie Birde, of hopeful Songe!—A blyſter on the backe of the State Chyrurgeon, for clippinge my young Dawe under the tongue, to make him more eloquente! Indeed, Dame, the poore cut fowle hath ne'er prattled to any tune ſince!"’
XXVI.—Miſs B—Y ST—T.
[36]XXVII.—Ad. M'BRIDE.
‘"I had ſacked their faire Citie, but that the renigadoes of Dunkirke, like ſo many ſea-moles, raiſed ſhoales, and ſande-bankes to pick up my deep-water barques!—The Cowardes knew me well, and ſo came not within the reache of my red-hot ſhotte!—The firſt convenient Moone at fulle, I'll trie the knaves on t'other tacke—till then, I muſt content me with the goode reportes the dailie Neweſmen do ſo prettilie promulgate of my fame!"’
XXVIII.—Duke of D— [...].
[37]SIXTH DAY's TRIAL.
[38]XXIX.—Sir S—D—Y SM—TH.
XXX.—D—tc—ſs of R—T—D.
[39]XXXI.—CH—S WY—D—M.
[40]‘—"I knewe him, t'other ſide the Appenines, on hi [...] youtheful travel, a fellowe of much honeſt worthe,—one wedded to his friende, and flaſke!—No ſooner did the Dog ſtarre rage, than out he ſallied forthe among the ſofter ſexe, a gaie gallante!—and, by the maſſe, the rantipole dames of qualitie made the moſt of him!—Good nature was his foible; for he rode you his dailie roundes through Padua on horſebacke, to keepe honeſt men's wives quiet!—Even his hunter would ſtop, as 'twere by animal inſtincte, at the neweſt ſigne of the hornes!—The wagge has had his dave—and now calm⯑lie ſits [...]e downe, and talkes of [...]raile atchievements paſte, like an invalided warriore, unfit for bodilie ſer⯑vice!"’
XXXII.—C—ſs of AL—M—LE.
[41]SEVENTH DAY's TRIAL.
[42]XXXIII.—Earl FITZ—M.
‘"They ſent me over ſeas, to be toſſed by one of my owne Iriſhe Bulls!—When I thoughte to plaie on them a Yorkſhire bite, ſlylie came there forthe one further from the Northe, who cabbaged all my buckram, and left my ſtate doublet without bodie lineing!—Oh, Sir, they have treated me moſt inſultinglie!—I have been caught in their Courte-trappe, like a Dunſtable Larke, and now they intend to roaſte and baſte me, without any of the crumbes of comforte! But, by the grace of G—d, and the Biſhop of mine own anointing, I have preſerved true my Catholicke ſaithe!"’
XXXIV.—C—ss D—LK—TH.
[43]XXXV.—Comm [...]dore P—NE.
‘"To ſerve a Prince right courteouſlie, you ſhould be no maker of mince meat!—Amphibious muſt you be!—prompt to atchieve ſtrange deedes by lande, or water! on ſhore, his Highneſs' wantes, and wiſhes execute, before the fancie royalle hath time to faſhion them: and when your barke's afloate, give up your pliant ſailes to amorous windes, and fetch him cargoes of untried love from ev'ry pointe o'th' compaſs!"’
XXXVI.—Mrs. S—WB—GE.
[44]EIGHTH DAY's TRIAL.
[45]XXXVII.—Earl of UX—GE.
‘—"I am myſelf deſcended from the antiente loines of Alexander the Copper Smithe! but it matters not how a greate man was either borne or begotten, if chance do but ſtande his God-father!—I knewe a fel⯑lowe, deſtined by fate to ſcratche like a mole under grounde, 'till delvinge there one luckie daie, he ſpied a veine of ſhinirge care, on which he ſette men of more genius than himſelfe to worke him out a Crownette—This, deckt with belles and feathers, on his owne tem⯑ples of unbluſhinge metal formed, did he ſwaggeringlie place, for all men's eyes to marvelle at!"’
XXXVIII.—Sir CH. T—N—R.
[46]‘—"Give me a SOLDIER of fortune, who can afforde to hunte his enemie abroad with bloode houndes! Re turninge home, he maie champion fate to th' utter⯑moſte, and ſtand you undauntedlie a throwe o' the dice⯑boxe, more deadlie than the rattle of Bellona's cannon"’
XXXIX.—C—ſs of P—MF—T.
XL.—Mr. C—WTH—NE.
[47]‘—"My wife's BANKE is as firme as the proude one which the Londonne Merchantes doe intende for their faire citie!—I puncte at it mine ownſelfe i' th' familie way, ſo both are gainers; for though ſhe may cocke me out of my coine, I have my night's amuſement for my monie!"’
NINTH DAY's TRIAL.
[48]XLI.—Mar—ſs S—Y.
‘—"As I am not more coylie faſhioned than the huntreſs Dian, I finde no ſporte i' th' Chaſe, unleſs they mount me on a mettled ſteede—one retaining all the powers which bounteous Nature gave him! I rode a geldinge in my youtheful daies—but the dull Mule had not one pace to pleaſe me! It joies me moſt to be in at the extatic deathe!—but howe that can be, I marvel, unleſs a woman be gaillie mounted?"’
XLII.—Earl of CH—TF—D.
‘—"Between you and me, he's become no leſs a creature, than the ear-wig of the Caxon Royale!—To be a bearer of wonderous tidings, is his ſoule [...] delighte; and when he cannot picke up his budg [...] fulle of tales, how marvelouſlie will he com 'em!—He's chuck full of antickes—and he'll fetch and carrie poſt, like an over-ſea dog, ſo that you do but laughe, and ſpit on a cruſt for his foolerie!"’
XLIII.—Mrs ED. B—V—IE.
[49]XLIV.—Earl of J—Y.
TENTH DAY's TRIAL.
[50]XLV.—Duke of N—K.
XLVI.—C—ſs M—X—H.
[51]XLVII.—Mr. B—DH—D.
‘"Our Houſe is ſometimes haunted with evil ſprites of fantaſticke ſhapes, and colours! Once in twelve moones, they turn it out o' th' windowes, and I am placed belowe to catch it!—The neighbours ſaye, there's rare witte in all theſe doings—but in the quiet meekneſs of my harte, I ne'er could finde it out!"’
XLVIII.—Mrs. P—ZI.
[52]‘"I knewe her the wife of honeſt Guzman, a good com⯑pounder of Malte, and Hoppes;—then had ſhe the rea⯑ſonable uſe of her mother-tongue.—No ſooner was he defuncte, than ſhe became enamoured of foreigne dig⯑nities,—wedded a Milaneſe piper, and travelled o'er the Appenines to the tune of his boxe of whiſtles!—On her returne, ſhe ſet up a feminine manufactorie, for weav⯑inge converſations ſuperfine!—Theſe tabbies pronounced the deſtinies of their owne ſexe like Sybils, and became haters of mankind, becauſe men liked them not! nay, the whimſical jades wore ſtockings of ſkie-blue, not having a leg among 'em to catch an eye, without the noveltie of colouringe!"’
ELEVENTH DAY's TRIAL.
[53]XLIX.—Sir R—B—T M—CKR—H.
‘"I have ventured at laſt to be touched with colde iron, which argufies conſequence, as well as valour!—To have a ſhininge blade whipped acroſs my humble ſhoulder, by the dexter hande of Sovereigntie, gives me the poliſh of gentilitie, which rubs out everie ſpot of vulgar ruſt! At the firſt call to the preſence royale, Caming up! [...] ſays I, as cheerfullie as ever! on which the Lordes and Ladies of the Courte, in admiration of my witte, were pleaſed to laugh moſt heartilie!—Should any meddlinge foole aſke of me, howe I came thus [...]ignified?—marry the anſwer's plame; becauſe I got my monies darklie, and as it were i' the nighte, ſo in the wiſdome of greater men than myſelfe, I was thought right worthie to be be-knighted!"’
L.—Lady C—NL—FE.
[54]LI.—Lord C—TN—Y.
‘—"I ſawe it flutteringe o'er a banke of violettes, gaier than a May-born butterflie!—If our Naturaliſts looke not to it, we ſhall looſe, I feare, the ſtocke of this ſweet non-deſcript in colde extinction; for, by the maſte, it ſeemes too delicate, t'endure the vulgar tones of procreation!"’
LII.—Miſs H—TH—M.
[55]TWELETH DAY's TRIAL.
[56]LIII.—D—ſs of GL—R.
LIV.—Earl of L—S—R.
[57]LV.—Lady EL—TH F—R.
[58]LVI.—Earl of A—LE.
[59]THIRTEENTH DAY's TRIAL.
[60]LVII.—P—ſs EL—TH.
‘—"Heaven bleſs her mertie harte! and keepe all ſorrowe from it!—She is the ſweet-tuned fiddle of her father's Courte, where no true paſtime can be known without her!—Each bower, and hall, ſhe decks with ſuch true grace, that you might ſweare where'er ſhe moves, perpetual Spring attends her:—Oh! blithſome Princeſs! long may the mirthe of innocence be thine, and thou the faire diſpenſer of its power, to turn aſide thoſe barbed ſhaftes, which fate full oft doth forge. wherewith to wounde the boſome of a Kinge!"’
LVIII.—Earl GR—R.
[61]‘—"I met a Yeeman-pricker of the Chace, who, piteous fellowe,—pointed me ſadlie out, a noble an⯑tient Staz, the feates, and frolickes of whoſe youthe were gone!—At rutringe time, now dothe he ſeeke the ruſhie-bottomed glen, thence to behold his ſucceſſors trip by in luſtie rivalrie, leading the amorous herde at pleaſure o'er the heathe, while he dothe deeplie ſigh for ſportes now paſte, and ſhed in lonelie ſolitude his hornes!"’
LIX.—D—ſs H—L—N.
LX.—Sir Jos. B—KS.
[62]FOURTEENTH DAY's TRIAL.
[63]LXI.—M—q—ſs of S—Y.
‘—"Yes, that is the great POLONIUS himſelf!—He doth expect the humble homage of our knee—and muſt have it! I prithee call him not a ſhallow-witted Lorde, when his wiſe head is crammed ſo full of braines, that he knowes not which way to turne them!—Some whimſical God, in heatheniſh daies! decreed, that he ſhould be born a loftie man, and a mightie!—He is the Cuſtos Morum of the Harmonique Spheres, under whoſe authoritie poor Bardes, and Minſtrels, are whipped from tything to tything!—likewiſe a deep Aſtronomer, ſkilled in the ſigns from Taurus to Capricorn! and ſo great a Naturaliſte, that he knowes the buddinge ſeaſon by the note of the prophetick Cuckoe!"’
LXII.—Lady W—M R—L.
[64]‘"Oh, deareſt Nurſe! and it be like its father, as you ſaie, and a lovelie boy, ſee quicklie if it's prettie mouthe be furniſhed with a tongue!—and it be tied, I praie you cut, with tender care, the ligature in twaine, that the maladie of ſilence be not entailed upon our line of Males! Were it a girl—ſuch pains were uſeleſs, as its Grand Mama, who hathe not yet the fruitful arte for⯑ſworne, full oft declared, no female progenie of hers could be devoid of prattling powers!"’
LXIII.—Duke of R—M—D.
[65]LXIV.—Lady W—L—CE.
[66]‘"Theſe are not the times to ſtand upon a punctilious obſervance of ſexe, or to hide a maſculine boi [...] under the flimſie veil of female delicacie!—Looke upon the Scottiſh bonn [...]e BEL [...]?—a [...] citizen of ever [...] lande! She wears you men's fi [...]ebegs looſelie like a Turke!—can box with Datchet bargemen,—ſw [...] [...]ke a mermaid with her fair face upwards!—and puſh low quarte with the nimbleſt maſters of th' aſſault!—So amphibiouſſie created, as to be ready for any ſervice, by ſea, or lande! I've ſeen her toſſe off a glaſs of flip, and dance a reele on deck, while the weather-beaten veſſel was ſhaking under three reefed ſails!—Put on ſhore, ſhe would [...] to the beat of martial drum, hoiſte up her under-petticoat to drie, and while it was ſhot at by Kentiſhe Volunteers, laugh at the b [...]ling markſmen, for not hitting the target in the bud's eye!"’
FIFTEENTH DAY's TRIAL.
[67]LXV.—Princeſs R—L.
LXVI.—Duke of M—GH.
[68]LXVII.—Mr. T—R—V—S.
[69]‘"I marvel whether it be profitable, or not, in Jewe, or Gentile, to chaunte ballades of bawdrie for looſe Lordes, and crack luſcious jokes to yielde them the kernels, [...] time hath leſt him tootheleſs?"’
LXVIII.—Lady D—Y T—MP—N.
‘"In daies of yore, I drewe God's Creatures male about me by the light of a lovelie countenance! I had an eye then which made ſome of them ſmart for it: but that's gone bye. So now with lengthened veil, and demitie coats cut ſhort, I ſallie forthe in everie flauntinge breeze, and make them prance like madmen after me, to the elaſtic ſpring of my well-turned leg; while I, a flying Daphne, chide the rude windes which give it to their view!—As for the loſt expreſſion of an eye, it mat⯑ters not, becauſe a willing tongue abundantlie ſup⯑plyes it!"’
SIXTEENTH DAY's TRIAL.
[70]LXIX.—Lord K—Y—N.
‘—"If he be not great grandſon to the pepper-corn Llewellen, then knowe I noughte of the race of A [...] ⯑ [...]te Britons!—but let that paſs.—When a ſtriplinge, he did ſerve by virtue of indenture tripartite, old Capia [...], a ſlie b [...]g foxe of the Lawe hard bye the W [...]ken! there picked he up the minor quirkes, and quidlibets; but to the darker myſteries of the blacke Arte, he entered a demurrer! From retailinge Lawe thus in ſmall portions averdupoiſe, he became by degrees the greate diſpenſer of that wholeſome drug to the King's wide common⯑weale! Still kepte he his ballance ſo nicelie poiſed, that yieldinge to no other weighte, a ſingle ſcruple of his own conſcience would turne the beame. Some liken him to a cholorique Chymiſte, whoſe virtue is tried by his own fire;—but what heedes the outwarde wrathe of him, who hathe a minde within, pure as the mountaine aire which firſt he breathed!"’
LXX.—C—ſs W—DG—VE.
[71]LXXI.—Earl P—T.
[72]‘"Yes, yes, I tell you! the ſame COUNT TIVOLIO who did pennance laſt Lent at the Roman Carnival! A man of taſte ſo much refined, that he will dance along the flintie way to Mantua barefooted, to the tune of a good dinner, ſo that you call not on him to paie the piper! He hathe a nature created with exquiſite ſenſibilitie for bodilie endurance! He ſaith in veritie, that man was faſhioned for long ſufferinges; that if they toſſe him up a chimnie like a pancake, he ought not to murmur—nor complain of thoſe who may kindlie beat him as they do a Turkie carpet, to get the dirt out of it by manual compunction!"’
LXXII.—D—ſs of G—D—N.
[73]SEVENTEENTH DAY's TRIAL.
[74]LXXIII.—D—ke of G—FT—N.
LXXIV.—C—ſs of D—BY.
[75]LXXV.—Lord B—G—VE.
[76]‘"Why, even in the goe-carte of the ſchooles was he made to prattle like unto a linguiſte of Athens, having his gums rubbed every morninge with a Greeke coral by his Alma Mater!—With his yeares grewe an itch⯑inge ambition to become a maker of orations in the dead languages, which few men livinge might compre⯑hende: for this, he attempted to ſpeake with the peb⯑ble of Demoſthenes in his mouthe before the aſtoniſhed Senate, which becominge unmanageable, it did unfor⯑tunatelie begagg the aſpireinge Declaimer!"’
LXXVI.—C—ſs of B—K—M—RE.
[77]‘—"Playing in all ſhapes, and kindes, doth marvel⯑louſlie delighte me!—I can play moſt adroitlie at a reunde game; and a buſie knife and forke at a rounde table!—Although our Stage be on the decline, I mar⯑vel much if it can fall while I continue the maine prop of the Theatre!—Whene'er I do enacte, beare I not all before me?—Ev'n the laſt time I did perform a movinge parte in a piece militarie at the Duke's privie Drama, as I carried off the weſt-end of a fortified towne in my retreate through the ſide wings of his Grace's ſcenerie! The next parte I do aſlume will be that of the Jewiſhe Shylocke, findinge my owne propertie of bearde—after wh [...]ch I will have my pound of fleſhe for ſupper, or my cooke ſhall anſwer for the defaulte by loſſe of his vocation!"’
EIGHTEENTH DAY's TRIAL.
[78]LXXVII.—Earl of H—TH.
‘"Though begotten in a cloudie nighte, he was moſt noblie brought forthe under lunar influence, and there⯑fore ſoon became a dabbler in myſteries coeleſtial! He was ſo well with the plannettes, that he could put you off an Eclipſe for three weeks upon a ſtretch, to the great confuſion of all aſtronomers!—Deſcended from King Bladud in a converſe line, he did decree himſelfe hereditarie ruler of the tepid Baths, and there tumbled into hot water by virtue of his owne ſpecial preroga⯑tive!—As for Minſtrels, and Shew-folkes, he baniſhed them his dominion, becauſe they played the foole more wiſelie than their better!"’
LXXVIII.—P—ſs M—RY.
[79]LXXIX.—Arch—p of Y—.
[80]LXXX.—Mrs. C—NC—N.
NINETEENTH DAY's TRIAL.
[81]LXXXI.—Mrs. M—ST—RS
LXXXII.—Duke of C [...]— [...]
[82]LXXXIII.—Miſs P—LH—M.
[83]LXXXIV.—Mr. M— [...]LET—N.
[84]TWENTIETH DAY's TRIAL.
[85]LXXXV.—Marquiſs C—NW—S.
LXXXVI.—Miſs VAN—CK.
[86]‘—"They ſhall find me ſomebodie in the P [...] Chamber, ſince they have choſen me Bearer of her Highneſſe' Privie Purſe!—Though as yet but an [...] honour, I do accept it in the fullneſs of my grace right thankfullie.—Nowe that I grow in ſtate, as well as ſta⯑ture, the PRINCE may comment at his pleaſure on the comelineſs of my perſon; and I will give the Wag a grilled Capon, with catches and glees, whenever it may ſuite his royale humour to ſojourne with me ſo⯑berlie at midnighte!"’
LXXXVII.—Earl of INC—Q—N.
[87]LXXXVIII.—C—ſs of B—SR—CH.
[88]TWENTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.
[89]LXXXIX.—Duke of R—TL—D.
XC.—March—ſs of T—CHP— [...].
[90]XCI.—Mr. Secretary W—ND—M.
[92]XCII.—Mrs. GR—Y.
[93]‘"This wedded ſparke of mine would make a huſbande far more conjugal, if he were a Stateſman leſs conſe⯑quential!—At times, when I do fondlie interpret the language of a looke, to the gaze of admiration on the perſon he did ſweare to love, for better and for worſe—he dothe my verie ſoule bechill with ſome exclamation of—‘the GENTLEMAN in his eye!"’—Now quicklie turn⯑ing rounde, threatens to—‘"divide the Houſe"’—with which in wedlocke he en [...]owed me!—Anon he whiſ⯑pers in mine ear ſomewhat of ‘"a motion he would make;"’—but ſoone, alack, cries out, ‘"I've loſt it by the previous queſtion!"’—Heaven defende his ſweete wittes, and direct them to one faire point of love or politiques, for, in their divided ſtate, I feare he'll marr them bothe!"’
TWENTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.
[94]XCIII.—Sir JOSEPH M—WB—Y.
‘"I am neighbour, at nexte doore, to Sir HUGO BO [...] ⯑SKIM, the ſturdie Knighte, who picked up his crumbes in the pig-market! The comelie ſauſage-women ha [...]d by the Poultrie do bend the knee of curtiſie to his Worſhip, becauſe he dealeth hugelie in ſwtne's fleſhe!—Once on a time he was accounted a man of witte, and then fitlie choſen to repreſent his own hoggerie in ſage convention. Moreover, he had an intrigue with an underlinge of the Muſes, from whence ſprung Ch [...] ⯑mas Ca [...]rols, and Bellmen's Verſes, to the marvellous an⯑noyance of ſounde ſleepers!"’
XCIV.—Counteſs of CH—TH—M.
[95]XCV—Mr. STR—T, (late Member for MALDO [...]
[96]‘—"No idle prater he, but a dealer in fewe wordes; and thoſe he doth vouchſafe to utter, carrie with them a convincing charme! There is ev'n ſuch magique in his monoſyllables, that a ſingle negation of his i' th' Senate hath ſtrucke your Partie-mongers dumbe!"’
XCVI.—Lady MARY D—NC—N.
[97]‘—"Becauſe it did her Ladie-ſhip delighte, to mounte her on ſome barren ſtaffe, like birchen broome, ſhe was a WEIRD SISTER, wrongfullie y'clep'd!—In veritie ſhe is the widowed remnant of the DUNCAN race, allied to rapes, and maſſacres of yore!—for this hathe ſhe un⯑ſexed herſelf to mortal ſighte, that men might marvel on her gender, and ſhe avoide thoſe perils known to bothe!—She hathe a meltinge ſoule for melodie, which in charitie ſhe lendes to knaves deſpoiled, who chaunte their earlie loſſe in lamentable ſtrames!"’
TWENTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.
[98]XCVII.—Lord W—M G—RD—N.
XCVIII.—Mrs. M—YN—L.
[99]‘—"My kennel-bred Sparke, dothe fume and frette, like one of his own mad packe, at the parchinge drought which thus his Chace delaies.—Indeed I think it longe myſelf ere he can hie his mettled houndes once more to cover—till then, the harveſt is kept backe from which I yearlie reape my gaier prodigalities. For this, like DIAN, do I ſit the jollie matron of an Hun⯑ter's boarde, while minor Dukes and whelp-linge Lordes with Bumpers charged, to me appeal, on flyinge Leapes which they ſo madlie take?—whoſe learthern gaſkins are of trimmeſt ſhape? or who does talihoo the ſighted Foxe in ſtraines of loudeſt diſſonance?"’
XCIX.—Admiral Lord BR—DP—T.
[100]‘—"That ſturdie ſon of Neptune doth mine [...] ſuite right well [...]—where'er his ſtreamers flie, the [...] [...] be-lorde it o'er the element of waters, that not a [...] Gallique barque will he permit to ride in ſuretie on it—Roughe as the blowinge tempeſt of the Northe is h [...] afloate—but when on ſhore, the milder influences pre⯑vaile againe, and ſwaye his minde to calm urbanitie"’
C.—D—ſs of D—V—RE.
[101]- Zitationsvorschlag für dieses Objekt
- TextGrid Repository (2020). TEI. 5229 Passages selected by distinguished personages on the great literary trial of Vortigern and Rowena a comi tragedy Volume I pt 1. University of Oxford Text Archive. . https://hdl.handle.net/21.T11991/0000-001A-605B-2