[]

THE GOLDEN PIPPIN: AN ENGLISH BURLETTA, IN THREE ACTS.

As it is performed at the THEATRE-ROYAL, COVENT-GARDEN.

By the AUTHOR of MIDAS.

LONDON: Printed for T. BECKET, in the Strand.

M.DCC.LXXIII.

[Price One Shilling and Sixpence.]

ADVERTISEMENT.

[]

IT is but Juſtice to the abſent Author to declare, in contradiction to many idle Reports, and injurious Paragraphs that in this Piece, as in his former, he only propoſed an innocent Burleſque; never thinking Ribaldry, Profaneneſs, or Perſonal Satire, a proper Entertainment for the Public, to whoſe experienced Candour and Indulgence he ſubmits the following BURLETTA.

Dramatis Perſonae,

[]
MEN.
  • JUPITER, Mr. REINHOLD.
  • MERCURY, Mr. Du BELLAMY.
  • MOMUS, MR. QUICK.
  • PARIS, Mr. MATTOCKS.
  • The DRAGON, Mr. BURTON.
WOMEN.
  • JUNO, Miſs CATLEY.
  • PALLAS, Mrs. BAKER.
  • VENUS, Mrs. MATTOCKS.
  • IRIS, Miſs VALOIS.
  • ERYNNIS, Mr. BAKER.

THE GOLDEN PIPPIN.

[]

ACT I. SCENE I.

The Curtain riſing, diſcovers a Splendid Pavilion in the Clouds; JUNO, PALLAS, and VENUS at a Card-Table playing at Tredrille, on one Side a Table, with Goblets, &c. IRIS, in Waiting, During a Symphony, VENUS ſhuffles and deals. PALLAS frets at her bad Cards.

AIR. TRIO. Franoeſco. PALLAS, JUNO, VENUS.
PALLAS.
I Paſs—I've done ſo all the night.
Juno.
I take a King,
I take a King.
Ven.
Pray, Ladies, ſtay.
Pray, Ladies, ſtay.—I'll play alone.
Juno., Pal.
[2]
Again?—Bleſs me—again!
Juno., Pal.
Again!
Ven., Pal.
Di'monds are Trumps.
Ven., Pal.
Bleſs me!—again?
Juno., Pal.
(to Venus)
You ſcarcely Paſs one hand in ten.
Juno., Pal.
(peeviſhly)
The Cards owe me a ſpite.
Juno., Pal.
(to Venus)
This Lady knows you;—ſo do I.
You dealt the Cards—and we could ſpy.
Ven.
(throws down her game)
The Vol is won.
The Vol is won—with Matadors.
Pal.
Spadille at bottom—O fie!
Ven., Juno.
With Matadors.
Ven., Juno.
(to Pallas)
Such hints are ſhocking, Mâm.
Pal.
Cheats are provoking, Mâm.
Ven., Pal.
Lord, ſuch a rout!
Ven., Pal.
Cheats are provoking, Mâm.
Ven., Juno., Pal.
(to Pallas)
Lord, ſuch a rout!
Ven., Juno., Pal.
(to Pallas)
Quite ſhocking—O fie!
Ven., Juno., Pal.
(to Pallas)
Cheats are provoking—O fie!
Ven., Pal.
But loſers muſt have leave to pout.
Ven., Pal.
Cheats are provoking, Mâm.
Ven., Juno.
But loſers muſt ha' leave to pout.
Ven., Juno.
(to Pallas)
Such terms are ſhocking, Mâm,
Ven., Pal., Juno.
But loſers, &c.
Ven., Pal., Juno.
Cheats are, &c. O fie!
Ven., Pal., Juno.
Such terms, &c. O fie!
(Juno and Pallas riſe in heat, and come forward. Venus ſits ſtill, counting and pocketing her gains.)
[3] RECITATIVE.
Pal.
(miſtily)

Hang cards!

Juno.

You're out o' luck!

Pal.

As I'm a ſinner!

I haven't—ſince laſt Chriſtmas—ris'n a winner.

Juno.

That's hard!—So bad a run may well chagrin one:

Venus is quite a dab.

Pal.

Dab!—She's—a keen one; At all games—plays th' whole game.

Juno.

Aye, aye!

Pal.

Match none has; For ſleight of hand,—will ſlip an ace—with Jonas.

Juno.

Gambles deep too!

Pal.

Well may—who never loſes: At Putt, poor girls!—ſh' as beggar'd the Nine Muſes;

Fine as a Queen o' ginger-bread—parades it;

But ne'er has paid the wages of her Maids yet.

Juno.
(laughing)

Like enough—for the Graces,—and 'tis ſcandalous,

Go mother-naked.

Pal.
(with ſpleen)

Skin-flint!—ſo to randle us! 'Twould vex a ſaint.—

[4] AIR II.
Dooralin.
A thriving trade
The nimming jade
Has pick'd up, here, of chouſing us;
With ſly flim-flams,
And palming ſhams,
At Brothel learnt, or Bouzing-houſe!
[Turning to Van. inſolently.]
You muſt purloin,
In duds to ſhine
So dizen'd—there's no [...] wi' you;
But the next coin
You nab of mine,
By Pam! I'll pluck a crow wi' you.
RECITATIVE.
Juno.
(in diſapprobation)

Nay,—Pallas!

[Venus advances to them, ſmiling jocoſely at Pallas.]
Ven.
(in banter)

Miſs,—you're—funny, Poor dear!—has't loſt it' temper with it' money? ha! ha! ha!

Pal.
(exaſperated)

Pert chitty face! 'cauſe leud fops call you—pretty;

You fancy thoſe—patch-clenches—ſmart—and witty.

Ven.
(gibing)

Pretty!—the fools!—do they, indeed?—Ah, tell us.

Pal.
(contemptuouſly)

Conceited moppet!

Ven.
(waggiſhly)

Sure, Miſs,—you a'n't jealous.

[Takes out a pocket-glaſs, and views herſelf affectedly.]
[5] AIR III.
Laſchi and Galluppi.
If I have ſome—little—beauty—
Can I help it?—No, not I;—
Some good luck too—'tis my duty
Gifts ſo precious to apply.
Nature—Fortune—gave 'em freely;
And I'll uſe 'em—quite genteelly.
If the Smarts of the Sky
Cringe, ogle and ſigh,
Whene'er I paſs by;
And cry,
Looky there!
What an air!
Gods, bow fair!
Pray, why
(To feed your ſtarch'd pride)
Muſt I go and hide,
'Till you're made a bride?
Who, I?
No, no—If I do, may I die.
[6]RECITATIVE.
Pal.
(incenſed)

Don't rouze me, Bold-face!—if your tongue's ſo flippant, I'll take y' a chuck—as ſhall chop off the tip on't.

[Pallas advances upon her; ſhe takes ſhelter behind Juno.]
Ven.
(in fear, ſcreaming)

I'll ſwear the peace:—keep at arms-length, Virago!

(To Juno, whimpering)

She'll brain me, Mâm!

Pal.
(in ſpiteful rage)

—Well, had I don't long a-go.

Ven
(ſtill whimpering)

Your tongue's no ſlander—for that, not a button

Care I;—but I can't ſtand your fiſt o' mutton.

Juno.
(Aſide, chuckling)

Nuts to me, This—I hope, 'twill be a ſcuffle;

(to them)

My ſtars! what was't cou'd thus your tempers ruffle?

Pal.

Her gibes,

Ven.

Her rants.

Pal.

Don't ſnouch then!

Ven.

Don't you hector!

Juno.
(taking each by the hand)

Faults on both ſides—ſit down—come, I'll direct here.

And Iris!—ſtir, wench!—fill about the nectar.

Pal. Venus—

your quips would Patient Griſel canker,

Howe'er, ſhake hands!

Ven.
(giving her hand)

Here, Miſs, I bear no rancour.

[7] AIR IV. Touch the Thing, you Baſtard.
(All ſit, and Iris ſerves them with Nectar.
Juno
(ſings;)
When bickrings hot,
To high words got,
Break out at Gamiorum;
The flame to cool,
My Golden Rule
Is—Puſh about the Jorum.
With fist on jug,
Coifs who can lug?
Or ſhew me that glib ſpeaker,
Who her red rag
In gibe can wag,
With her mouth full of liquor.
(They all drink.)
(Exeunt, merrily ſinging in Chorus)
The Golden Rule
Is—Puſh about the Jorum.
Scene cloſes.
[8] SCENE changes to a Wild Heath.
Enter Momus, in the habit of the Antique Court Jeſter. Walks to and fro impatiently.
RECITATIVE accompanied.
Mom.

By Jingo! if Erynnis—from the Heſperides,

Steals me the Dragon's Apple-we'll ha'merry days. Augh!—ho!—oa!—

(yawning and ſtretching)

Court's grown damn'd hum-drum:—Jove, poor Noodle!

Does nought but muddle.—

Juno too—turn'd ſo—mim, forſooth, Butter will ſcarce melt in her mouth.

But th' Apple—yes—I'll throw—that ſquib among 'em—

Shall ſtir the humours—as a waſp had ſtung 'em,

AIR V. Behind the Buſh in the Garden,
To ſet at odds
Theſe hair-brain'd Gods,
The turn of a ſtraw or a pin does;
I make them fret,
Take pet,
Curvet,
And fling Heaven out o' the windows.
[9] He, ſhe, ſoul, handſome, all,
On wires I dance 'em all,
Jove of my puppets but is chief;
Sky, earth, and ocean,
I put in commotion;
I doat on a ſnug bit o' miſchief.
[To him enter running, as from purſuit, Erynnis, holding the Golden Apple in her hand, and habited as an old witch.]
RECITATIVE.
Ery.

Here, Momus, 'tis—at laſt;—I'm all o'er dripping.

Mo.

Good Hag!—Now quick, to Juno's palace tripping,

Amongſt the three Sultanas drop this Pippin.

Ery.

That Dragon! Oh! we've had a-do moſt helliſh,

Burn him!—for Pippins he has ſpoil'd my reliſh.

Mo.

No fear;—I'll fool him with ſome rigma-rol,—

Pat on his back, and ſcratch his pol.—

Ery.

But I—(in terror)

Mo.

You—muſt plump down to Hell,—to Pluto;

I've writ a card to him.—

Ery.
(trembling)

Any where,—in tuto.

[The Dragon is heard roaring.]
Mo.

Off! off!

[10] [She takes to her heels, Momus ſkulks aſide.—Enter impetuouſly the Dragon, ſearching on every ſide, during the ſymphony, to find her—then]—.
AIR VI. Franceſco.
Dra.
Stop thief! Stop thief!
My Pippin!—Boh!—the varlet!—
Hoh!—I'm out of breath!—
Boh!—Could I clutch that harlot,
Who wrought my grief,
I'd be her death;
Stop thief! Stop thief! Stop thief!
Momus comes forth, and accoſts him familiarly.
Mo.

Ha,—my old friend!—how is't?

Dra.

Saw you that Beldam Erynnis ſcamper by?

Mo.

Faith, Sir,—ſhe—ſeldom Viſits theſe parts:—yet paſs'd—within this half-hour,

Hobbling—to Juno,—with ſome fruit—you—gave her.

Dra.

She lies,—ſhe ſtole it;—Gave! give her a halter!

Her due,—The thief!—

Mo.

Stole! ay, an old defaulter.—

[11] Sue out a warrant—

Dra.

Sue!—the Queen has got it,—I may go whiſtle—Piqued,—Repiqued,—Capotted!—

Mo.

Pluck up,—talk big to her,—

(Aſide)

I'll egg on this hot-head.

AIR VII. DUO.
Franceſco.
Fluſter,
Bluſter,
Strut, Sir.—
Dra.
But, Sir,
She'll picker and rail.
Mo.
Why then roar, and whiſk your tail.
Dra.
Oh, Sir,
No, Sir,
Fair words—
Mo.
Bare words
Never will prevail.
Dra.
But I may be ſent to Jail.
Mo.
Mouthy, mealy!
Can't I bail ye?
Does your courage fail ye?
Dra.
No; but, Sir,
'Twill make a ſtir,
And Jove may demur.
And Jove may demur.
Mo.
On my word, be won't demur.
Dra.
Since you ſay
So, I may
Skur away.
Mo.
Skur.
[12] And be ſure you put it home t' her:
Servant, Sir.
Dra.
I ſhall pelt on, 'till I came t' her,
Whip and ſpur.
Mo.
And be ſure &c. Servant, Sir.
Dra.
I ſhall pelt, &c. Thank you, Sir.
Exeunt ſeverally, bowing.
SCENE ſhifts to Juno's Pavilion.
A knocking; then Juno's bell rings vehemently. Enter Iris running. Juno, Pallas, and Venus, enter on the other ſide.
RECITATIVE.
Juno.

High time, Miſs Lazyboots! where ha' you been lolloping?

Iris.

Sure, Mem—at the firſt tinkle—I came galloping.

Juno.

Who rapp'd?

Iris.

Beau Cupid, Mêm, aſk'd for Miſs Pallas.

(Exit.)
Pal.

For me? the Whelp!—I'd ſee him to the Gallows.

Ven.

Gallows! Mâm.

(riſing provok'd)
Pal.

Ay—'twill be his prank concluſive, As he goes on.

Ven.
(to Juno)

Mâm—ſhe's downright abuſive.

[13] AIR VIII.
Giordani.
(to Pallas)
But ah! Sweet Miſs, your temper keep!
Your Peace my Boy ſhall ne'er invade;
Cupid ſhall not break your ſleep,
You ſhall ſtill remain a Maid.
All Ever-green
Be Pallas ſeen!
Laurels her learned brows adorn!
Baleful yew,
Cypreſs too!
Roſes alone ne'er deck that thorn.
RECITATIVE.
Pal.

I'd mince the blinkard—to a ſalmagondi.

[Enter Iris in a fright to Juno, THE APPLE in her hand.]
Iris.

Oh! Mêm!

Juno.

Are you bewitch'd, Girl?—What has ſtunn'd ye?

Haſt ſeen a Ghoſt—

Iris.

Worſe, Mêm—that hag—Erynnis.

Juno.

Got in, d'ye ſay?—I wou'dn't for five guineas—

Iris.

In troth, I think, that Witch the Devil-in-is.

[14] AIR IX. Sweet, if you love me, &c.
1.
Told by the Porter and the Page,
Not at home—
You'd ha' thought ſhe'd burſt with rage.
Skips, I muſt ſee the Queen, and will—
Dear Ma'm, ſays I—the Queen is ill,
Takes James's Powder, and Ward's Pill.
Not at home,
Eccho'd they to all her aſkings.
2.
To this Pippin bid her ſmell,
Preſents it to Juno.
Bid her ſmell,
I'll engage ſhe'll ſoon be well.
I box'd the Fox this morn, ſays ſhe,
And from th' Heſperian Dragon's Tree
Hoik'd off with 't to her Majeſty:
So, bye! bye!
I muſt fly,
He's hard at my Galligaſkins.
Exit.
Juno and Pallas alternately admire the Apple, Venus deſiring to look at it.
[15]RECITATIVE.
Ven.

With your leave, Mâm—

Receives and narrowly examines it.
Juno.
(to Pallas)

Suppoſe that three ſhares equal We make—

Pal.

Oh—that—Erynnis might—not take well.

Ven.
(having ſurveyed it)

Bleſs us!—'t has grown—with an Inſcription on it.

Pal.
(in gibe)

Have the ſnails trac'd a tag of ſome—French ſonnet?

Ven.
(nettled)

Nah, Miſs; plain Engliſh—and to Me directed.

(inſulting) A wind-fall, Ladies!—yet—one can't reject it.

So, poz—I will not have—my goods triſected.

Juno.
(in ſurprize)

Yours!

Pal.
(with indignation)

Yours!

Ven.
(with provoking calmneſs)

Mine.

both take fire.
Pal.
(to Venus, bluſtering)

By what right?

Juno.
(to ditto, with inſolence)

What title?—Fool-y'!

Ven.
(with ſcorn)

What—when ye hear—will make you both look bluely.

Reads to them diſtinctly the Inſcription, without RECITATIVE.
TO THE FAIREST IN HEAV'N, BE THIS APPLE GIV'N.
[16] RECITATIVE.
Pal.
(to Juno)

Stand clear, Mâm—let me to her—(to Venus) Shut your fly-trap, Your title I'll ſoon quaſh elſe—with a tight rap,

Juno.
(interpoſing)

I bar blows—yet that Fruit I'll have,—depend on't;

'Tis mine,

(to Venus)

ſo, give it me—and there's an end on't.

AIR X.
Arne,
Yield; or beware, left rage, diſdain,
Reſentment fire my mind!
The claim my rank, my charms ſuſtain,
Shall never be reſign'd.
RECITATIVE.
Pal.
(to Juno)

Nay, Madam!—Sure—my claim's the more undoubted;

So (to Venus) give it me—and ſay no more about it.

Ven.
(gently)

Ladies, for Pow'r, Arms, Arts, I don't diſpute ye,

But—all the world (bridling) gives me the crack for Beauty.

[17] AIR XI.
'Twas you, Sir, &c.
My Title, my Title,
Will need no long recital.
Can you,
Or you,
Diſpute the prize?
If not—ſay who.
Pal.
You Maukin, you Maukin!
What ſignifies your talking?
Don't name
That claim,
If you be wiſe,
Before us two.
Juno.
Gads me! Gads me!
Such rank conceit! It mads me.
So pert
A Flirt
Shou'd brave the ſkies!
What's here to do?
Ven.
My Title, &c.
Pal.
You Maukin! &c.
Juno.
Gads me! &c.
RECITATIVE.
Juno.

You Trapes!

Pal.

You Demi-rep! you hatter'd Dowdy, Nam'd of a day with us—you're—

Juno.

Oh! No-body.

Ven.
[18]
(piqu'd)

Two to one's odds;—but Ladies,—ſince you crow ſo,

Let Jove judge.

Juno.
(eagerly)

Done!

Pal.

Done!

Ven.

He's a Virtuoſo

In female matters.

Pal.
(to Juno)

Is he?

Juno.

Troth—but ſo, ſo.

[Here they are alarm'd by a tumultuous roaring without. A Symphony of Terror and Confuſion; at the cloſe burſts in the Heſperian Dragon. Juno and Venus run into a corner affrighted; Pallas undaunted.]
AIR XII. Pantomime Tune.
Drag.
Fe—Fa—Fum!
I ſmell a rich perfume:
My Pippin's in this room.
I'll have it Cruſt and Crumb,
Look ne'er ſo grum.
Fe—Fa—Fum!
If up with her I come,
I'll ſtrike Erynnis dumb,
And make her pelt—my drum!
[Crawls about roaring, Juno and Venus angry, yet terrified.]
[19]RECITATIVE.
Juno.
(from the corner)

Hark y' me, Dragon! you're a ſaucy fellor!

I'll have ye kick'd down ſtairs.

Pal.
(in rage)

Vap'ring Ale-ſwiller!

Juno.
(to Pallas)

Tip him Meduſa's Muz!

Pal.
(calling loudly)

Hand here my Aegis!

Dra.
(runs to and fro roaring)

Boh!—I'll indict you all—in Banco Regis.

(bob, bob!
[He roars, they ſcream, Pallas ſtamps; a rapid Symphony.]
Enter in haſte MERCURY.
AIR XIII. Duny.
Merc.
O Death and Hell!
Truce with this yell!
'Blood! why d'ye bawl ſo?
Keep the King's Peace within theſe walls, ho!
Ladies! you can't think it civil,
In Heaven to play the Devil!
And you—you froſty-face Dragon!
You, to keep this holly-rag on!
Do ſpare your lungs
This tear away;
Give your poor tongues
One holiday.
[20]RECITATIVE.
Juno.
(ſtrutting up to Mercury)

An' if you go to that—you pert Intruder! By whoſe authority are you thus rude here?

RECITATIVE accompanied.
Mer.

Don Jove, our thunder-thumping Caliph, From doze at Council-Board, Upſtarting with a bounce, Rapp'd out,—Coxnouns! Call me my Bailiff! Scud, Hermes!—fetch me word, Is Billingſgate transferr'd To Juno's Malepardus?—By the Lord, Her Goſſips Throats had need be of Bull-leather.

Tell 'em—I'll come—and tole their Jolls together.

[21] AIR XIV. Philidor.
Quintetto.
Finale.
JUNO, VENUS, PALLAS, DRAGON, MERCURY.
Juno., Ven.
I proteſt,—'tis this Beaſt—will not reſt.
Juno., Ven.
'Tis this Beaſt—will not reſt—I proteſt.
Pal., Dra.
We've no reſt,—not the leaſt,—for this Beaſt.
Pal., Dra.
That's a jeſt;—I proteſt—I'm oppreſt.
Merc.
Silence!—I requeſt you.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
I proteſt, &c.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
'Tis this Beaſt, &c.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
We've no reſt, &c.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
That's a jeſt, &c.
Merc.
Silence!—or I muſt arreſt you.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
I proteſt, &c.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
'Tis this Beaſt, &c.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
We've no reſt, &c.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
Boh! I'm oppreſt. &c.
Merc.
Huſh!—ceaſe, you were beſt.
You're all poſſeſt.
Ven.
Grown ſo furious,
So injurious,
Calls High Dames
Black guard names
Pal.
Moſt injurious.
Ven.
[22]
And Heaven makes
Quite a jakes.
Dra.
Say, what names?
Ven.
Theft-receivers,
Juno., Ven.
We Three!
Juno., Ven.
Shelter-givers,
Pilf'ring jobbers,
Snacks with robbers;
Dra.
Hear me!
Ven., Pal.
We,—We?
Ven., Pal.
I'd root the whole garden,
Ven., Pal.
We,—We?
Ven., Pal.
For one fardin.
Juno., Pal., Dra.
We receivers—Shelter givers?
Juno., Pal., Dra.
We—Three?
Juno., Pal., Dra.
Death and blood!
Juno., Pal., Dra.
Pilf'ring jobbers—Snacks with robbers?
Juno., Pal., Dra.
We—Three?
Juno., Pal., Dra.
Reſtore my goods!
Juno., Ven.
We—We,—We,—We?
Juno., Ven.
We wall-ſcalers?—We fruit-ſtealers?
Juno., Ven., Pal.
We,—We,—We,—We?
Juno., Ven., Pal.
We,—We,—We,—We?
Juno., Ven., Pal.
I'd root th' whole garden—for one fardin.
Juno., Ven., Merc.
We,—We,—We,—We?
Juno., Ven., Merc.
We wall-ſcalers?—We fruit-ſtealers?
Juno., Ven., Merc.
'Twas politeneſs,—with a witneſs.
Juno., Pal., Dra.
We wall-ſcalers?—We fruit-ſtealers?
Juno., Pal., Dra.
We—Three?
Juno., Pal., Dra.
For—my—fruit,
Juno., Pal., Dra.
We receivers?—Shelter-givers?
Juno., Pal., Dra.
We—Three?
Juno., Pal., Dra.
I'll—proſecute.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
[23]
We wall ſcalers?—We fruit-ſtealers?
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
Reptile—nauſeous!
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
They've my Pippin
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
We receivers,—Shelter-givers?
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
Worm—audacious!
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
In their keeping.
Juno., Ven., Dra., Merc.
Yes, receivers,—shelter-givers.
Juno., Ven., Dra., Merc.
No—No.
Juno., Ven., Dra., Merc.
Peace!—Peace!—Zouns!—ceaſe.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
Yes Receivers.—Yes, Receivers.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
Yes, I'll firk you, and jerk you, and yerk you.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
Brawling Pagan! Hell-ſpawn'd Dragon!
Juno., Ven., Pal., Dra.
No—No—Not—ſo.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Merc., Dra.
I'll make you fly—I'll know why.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Merc., Dra.
By cock and pie—you vamp or I.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Merc., Dra.
Hence to your fly—or, Filth! you die.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Merc., Dra.
Jove, by and by,—your ſuit will try.
Juno., Ven., Pal., Merc., Dra.
A lie—a lie,—juſt cut and dry.
END OF THE FIRST ACT.

ACT II.

[24]
SCENE, a Chamber in the Celeſtial Palace.
[Momus meets the Dragon in Chains, led to Priſon by one of the Furies.]
RECITATIVE.
MOMUS.

AH, ah!—in Crib, Sir Drag.?

[laughs.]
Drag.
{dolefully}

Now, bail me, Momus!

Mom.

I'd ſee you hang'd firſt.

[Exit laughing.]
Drag.

Get along,—and be Curſt!—Why did I truſt a Courtier's Promiſe?

[25] AIR I. A Stage Dance Tune.
Fool, feel in grain
Is he,
Fond and vain,
Of brain
Quite dizzy,
Who, when out o'place,
Hopes at Court an embrace.
Nic, th' old fiend,
Will firſt pretend,
For his own end,
To be your friend
Caught in
The gin
Of ſin,
He'll grin
At your diſgrace.
The Fury laſhes him on. Exeunt.
[26] SCENE changes to Jupiter's Hall of Audience.
Enter Momus laughing.
Mom.

Ha! ha! ha!—ha! ha! ha!

Three Cats—I left 'em at it,—ſpitting, —ſcratching,

(Seeing Jupiter) Gadſo!

Now, What can that wiſe Nob be hatching?

(ſtands aſide to obſerve.)
Jupiter comes forward.
RECITATIVE accompanied.
Jup.

How ſhall I get this tangled hank unravell'd?

Put to my trumps, and gravell'd!

'Twou'd dumb found, Wizard, Merlin, or Friar Bacon;

Aye, all the Square-caps from Oxford to Pekin.

No making head or tail on't—which way ſoe'er I turn it—

If I know how to act—I'm a ſous'd gurnet.

Ha! that Firebrand Erynnis! (Cou'd I but trap her, With what good will I'd ſtrap her!)

I'll be hang'd, but 'twas ſhe that kick'd this duſt up,

None but ſhe—miſchief-maker! (The Devil take her!)

Amongſt my proud leaſh of Ninnies.

[27] But—I—for her provide will; Yes—I'll have her fairly truſs'd up, Tho' the old Trot ſhou'd mount for't, Who can call me to account for't?

Or, if not ſtrung—ſhe ſhall—mill-doll—in Bridewell.

AIR II.
Fiſchietti.
As Judge, Spouſe, Progenitor,
What part ſhall I take?
My character, as ſenator,
My name lies at ſtake.
Says Juſtice—What d'ye lag on?
For ſhame!—content the Dragon.
Then whiſpers Court Favor,
To bilk him will be braver.
What part ſhall I take?
My choice is kept ſwinging,
Like Bow-bell a ringing,
Let go—then pull'd back.
Why, let them buff,
And jour and chide!
I'll ſave my buff,
Whate'er betide.
To ſhun domeſtic jangle,
This paltry Pippin-Brangle,
'Fore George! I'll not decide.
[Towards the cloſe of the Air, Momus advances to him.]
[28]RECITATIVE.
Mom.

That's fix'd then.

Jup.

Yes, yes—I've wound up my bottom.

Mom.

Roundly; like a true Solomon—

(aſide)

of Gotham.

Jup.

But how to ſtill their clamours—there's the matter.

Mom.

Depute ſome Mortal for their Arbitrator; 'Twill pull 'em down a peg.

Jup.
(rubbing his bands delighted)

'Twill, 'twill—the ſluts!

I'll do't—to fiddle-ſtrings 'twill fret their guts.

Mom.

Oh! they'll cajole you with their Ifs and Buts.

Didn't they coax you in your beer to impris'n The Dragon but for claiming what was his'n?

AIR III.
Cotillon.
When you're boſky, half-ſeas over,
Doxies wind you as they pleaſe;
Thro' their eyes you then diſcover,
That the Moon's a huge Green-cheeſe,
They have their wits,
Mind their own bits;
Nick the fit
To wheedle a bit,
With a tip
Of the lip,
And a roguiſh ſqueeze.
[29] Jovy, my ſoul!
What does it ſay?
Fire the North Pole!
Jove's your Valet.
When you're boſky, &c.
RECITATIVE.
Jup.

I was a green-horn then—no penetration—

But now I'm come to years—

Mom.
(aſide)

Not—of diſcretion.—

Mercury enters haſtily, and twitches Jupiter's ſleeve.
Mer.

Moſt Doughty—pleaſe edge this way.

Jup.

Eh! what mutter y'?

Mer.

The Goddeſſes—at loggerheads—i' th' Buttery.

Jup.

Fight dog, fight bear—I?—Blood I I've other bus'neſs:

Muſt Jove fit Judge—on Dimples—Snouts—and Pigſnies?

Bid 'em ſcrub up as clean as hands can make 'em.

Mom.

Shou'd they run ruſt—

Jup.

By Jericho!—I'd flake 'em.—

(to Mercury) Conduct them, you, to Ida—There young Paris

Shall view, and there give Judgment, which moſt fair is.

[Jupiter and Momus confer together.]
Merc.
[30]

What?—Paris of Troy, That Hobble-de-Hoy, He Lord Chief Juſtice conſtituted! If h'as guts in his brains, or in's ſkull eyes. Sure, ſure, this Heav'n-embroiling Prize Cannot be long diſputed.

AIR IV.
Fiſher. Pallas and Juno,
All who ſee true, know,
Never, no never can bear the bell.
No, chuck the Gold Pippin
Fair Venus's lip in,
For Venus herſelf is a Nonpareil.
Exit.
Jupiter and Momus come forward, as continuing their converſation.
RECITATIVE.
Mom.

What comes o'you?

Jup.

Oh! I—after the Inſpection—

May call—to hear—which carry'd the Election.

Mom.

Mum!—yonder's Juno— (going)

Jup.

Aye,—my Meſſage—ſnubs.

Mom.

Now—keep it up—be ſure—a few dry rubs

Will give her Majeſty—the Mulligrubs.

[31] AIR V. Cotillon Tune.
Since 'tis writ in the volume of Fate,
That to ſurrender
To the Male Gender,
Females muſt lay their account ſoon or late;
She muſt ſubmit has a God to her Mate.
Bounce, bounce; Juno may flounce,
Storm, and thunder;
She'll knock under:
Rave, rave; Jupiter, rave!
Maſter you'll be—and your Wife be a ſlave.
RECITATIVE.
Jup.
(as Juno advances)

How now, Dame Partlet?

Enter Juno, ſtalking haughtily up to him; her arms a-kimbo.)
(aſide)

Now—ſhe opes her Budget.

Juno.

So, Sir! Our cauſe—you ſcorn, it ſeems,—to judge it.

Jup.

I waſh my hands o't:—woundy tickliſh Matters

Theſe!—How decree—'twixt my own Wife and Daughters?

Juno.
(reſentfully)

Then, Sir, who ſhall?

Jup.
(having ponder'd)

Why,—Paris,—Son of Priam,

Genimede's Coz—a better Judge than I am.

Juno.
(with ſpleen)

Finely fobb'd off! Had it been Madam Semele

Jup.
(imperiouſly)

Juno,—go, ſcold your Maids;—do—mind your Family.

Juno.
[32]

No, with all Heav'n for my due I'd grapple.

Were there an Orchard; mine were every Apple.

AIR VI. Arne.
Juno.
(affronted.)
With your Wife, Sir, ne'er diſpute,
Lady of the Manor ſhe;
Due to her the choiceſt fruit,
Due to her the branch and tree;
And you know ſhe'll have her right;
Yes, Sir, Morning Noon, and Night.
RECITATIVE.
Jup.

Right!—Stuff!—between us, None has a legal right to it, but Venus.

Juno.
(much piqu'd)

Fool that I was, my Huſband to refer to!

Venus!

—a ſneaking kindneſs—Goat!—for Her too?—

Jup.
(indignant)

My Daughter?

Juno.
(with rancour)

Wert your Mother?

Jup.
(ironically)

Why my Pet Lamb Ought not go looſe—It ſhould be lodg'd in Bedlam.

Theſe Maggots, Child—

Juno.
(outrageous)

By each new Trull ſupplanted!

Jup.
(provok'd)

I'll be divorc'd—

Juno.
(obſtinately)

The very Thing I wanted.

[33] AIR VII. Dûo Finale. Monſignier.
Juno.
Go,
But know,
I'll not be treated ſo
By you, caſe-harden'd Bully!
Jup.
Let not your Fury gull y';
I'm no tame, hen-peckt Cully.
Juno.
Ungrateful!
To ſacrifice me thus!
Jup.
More hateful
Your jealouſy and fuſs.
Juno., Jup.
Your Siſter
Juno., Jup.
Wou'd, I'ad miſt her!
Juno., Jup.
And your Spouſe too!
Juno., Jup.
(aſide)
A ſweet Blowze, too!
Juno.
The Chum you pawn'd your Nuptial
Vows to!
Jup.
Truſt my Houſe to,
And my Brows too!
Juno.
A Bliſter
On your Tongue for't.
Jup.
I'm well ſtung for't,
Sorely wrung for't.
Juno.
You broke all vows—you hot Bell-ſwagger!
Jup.
(aſide)
That's a Dagger,
Sha'n't I gag her?
Juno., Jup.
To ſee that Num-ſkull
Juno., Jup.
(to her)
Theſe Wipes
Juno., Jup.
Act the Swan, act the Bull,
Juno., Jup.
Bring ſtripes.
Juno., Jup.
[34]
How Mortals muſt laugh
Juno., Jup.
Your ſides, my Love, itch
Juno., Jup.
At the Gooſe, at the Calf.
Juno., Jup.
For a taſte of the ſwitch.
Juno., Jup.
Your Wife a caſt-off ſta [...]e.
Juno., Jup.
Wife Wife thoſe taunts are ſta [...]e.
Juno., Jup.
Yet you can't ſay black's her nail.
Juno., Jup.
Yet you urge them tooth and nail
Juno., Jup.
I'll not ſit down mum chance.
Juno., Jup.
I'll rove, and take my chance.
Juno., Jup.
You ſhall ſee the Devil dance.
Juno., Jup.
Tho' I ſee the Devil dance.
Juno.
More Sacks on the Mill!—No, no,
'Tis a bitter Pill—it kicks.
Jup.
Jack muſt have his Jill—I trow;
And, as Jove, I will—ha' fix.
END OF THE SECOND ACT.

ACT III.

[35]
SCENE, a Chamber in the Celeſtial Palace.

JUPITER and MOMUS.

RECITATIVE.
Mom.

I Met 'em—Frieſland hens! their feathers bruſtling

All the wrong way.

(laughs)
Jup.

That's what they get by buſtling On the High-horſe with Me—

Mom.

Poor Venus ſaid nought.

Jup.

True——But—for my Jezebel, and yond' Miſs Dreadnought—

[36] AIR I.
Handel.
I'll taw them ſoft as old glove,
The Drabs ſhall know I'm Czar above;
I wonder hence
This impudence,
To maunder at the will of Jove.
Mine are the reins—and to the bit,
Tag, Rag, and Bob-tail, ſhall ſubmit.
Exeunt.
SCENE, MOUNT IDA. Paris is diſcovered admiring his own Finery.
RECITATIVE.
Par.

C'eſt quelque choſe cela—no more a Ruſtick ſcrubbiſh,

Paris at Court has duſted off his Rubbiſh.

AIR II.
Arne.
But now let me flaunt it,
Rant flirt it, and jaunt it,
Gallant it, and dreſs it away;
At Op'ra and Ball,
Play, Concert, and All,
I warrant I carry the day.
I'll make the Folks ſtare
By clubbing my Hair;
I'll ogle, I'll prattle,
The Dice box I'll rattle,
Loſe thouſands, and call it mere Sport;
While Men all admire me,
All Ladies deſire me,
Sweet Paris, the Pink of the Court!
[37] Paris turns, and ſpies Mercury advancing. What chap comes here? trick'd out ſo nicely!
Enter to him Mercury. (He ſtands bowing at a distance.) Dem' mauvaiſe honte—So thus—conciſely.
AIR III. DUET. Franceſco.
Par.
Mon Enfant—ecoutez.
Merc.
Royal Swain, what d'ye ſay?
Par.
If I may conjecture,
By garb, gait, and aſpect, you're Francois.
Merc.
Nay, nay.
Par.
Au Moins—You've made the Tour.
Merc.
No ſure.
Your Highneſs means to flatter.
Par.
Pardonnez-moi—This Hat here
Paris Cock
Merc.
No ſuch matter.
Par.
Thoſe Pumps too—diantre!—curious.
Merc.
Jove's Son, Sir—(bowing)
Par.
Vous?
Merc.
Yes; ſpurious
Controller of his Pages,
And bear his Love-Meſſages.
Par.
Quoi? Merky!—ah! le drole!
Merc.
The ſame—upon my ſoul,
At your command.
Par.
I kiſs your Hand.
[38]RECITATIVE.
Par.

But whence—and whither now?

Merc.

My Errand At preſent is—

Par.
(taking ſnuff)

To me—I warrant.

Merc.

E'en ſo.

Par.
(with extravagant airs of vanity)

With my poor perſon ſmitten?

Merc.
(ſhaking his head)

No, Sir—a matter—You'd ſcarce hit on.

This Apple—(produces the Golden Apple)

Par.
(much mortified)

Aye.

Merc.

(Tho' no nice Fruit 'tis) Has ſet by the ears three tip-top Beauties.

Th' Inſcription—there's the bone—

Par.
(reads it)

To THE FAIREST!

Merc.

'Till that point's ſettled—Heav'n can ne'er reſt.—

Juno,

Miſs Pallas Venus—ſtiffly

Lay claim to't—

Par.

Well—mon cher!

Merc.

Why, briefly—

You're nam'd their Judge—

Par.
(eyeing it contemptuouſly)

A precious bawble To ſet three Goddeſſes—at ſquabble!

AIR IV.
Bryan.
A Goddeſs, like an earthly Dame,
In trifles will precedence claim;
Denied, foul language will beſtow,
And turn from deareſt Friend to Foe.
[39]RECITATIVE.
Par.

But why to me this Beauty-reference?

Merc.

You, Sir, Jove knows,—can gueſs the difference—

Betwixt—a Nymph—and a Nut-cracker—

Par.

Not half ſo well as he,—th'old Smacker!

Merc.

Him they'd think partial,—intereſted, Therefore in you his Pow'r is veſted.

Par.

What Jeopardy?—My Caſe quite deſperate?—

Can pleaſe but one,—two muſt exaſperate!—

Merc.

Do as you like—but—leave off prating.

You keep their Goddeſsſhips a-waiting.

Exit.
(Paris alone, after meditation,)
Good Jove, direct me!
Since in this taſk
I'm but your maſk,
I hope, Sir, you'll protect me.
Re-enter Mercury, leading Juno, whom be announces moſt ceremoniouſly. She advances with over-ſtrained haughtineſs.
RECITATIVE.
Merc.

Queen Juno, Sir, (bows) Jove's Conſort—

Juno.
(imperiouſly)

Leſs Palaver.

We've other fiſh to fry—(beckons Mercury away; be ſneaks off.

Par.
(tripping familiarly to kiſs her)

Ma'am,—by your Favour—

(She draws back with indignation.
Juno.
[40]

Meat for your Lord!—I thought you better knew me.

Par.
(aſide)

La fiere!—a three-pil'd Prude, conſume me!

Juno.
—(haughtily)

Lad, don't you feel yourſelf, at times, ambitious Of Pow'r—and Wealth?

Par.

Ma foi! they're both delicious.

Juno.

Both you may have—

Par.

Comment!

Juno.

For me paſs Sentence, And you will bleſs your Stars for our Acquaintance.

AIR V.
Giordani.
On Nabob's Throne deſpotick,
O'er Omrabs thou ſhalt blaze;
Thy pomp, thy pow'r exotick
The trembling Eaſt amaze;
Then ſhall the Chiefs from Europe
Court thee with gorgeous toys;
Crouching each to hold thy Stirrup,
Proud to ſerve thee like Seapoys.
Par.

Why—faith—She offers-like a Bidder.

Nabob!—Bon ça!—let me—conſider: Bengal—a damn'd—long—voyage thither.

(aſide)

Now un grand Coup—You're warm—and I in Spirits—

(to her)

'Gad, Ma'am, let's uſe your Huſband as he merits.

[41] AIR VI.
Down Derry Derry.
(To her with petulant Familiarity.)
Sweet Revenge there is a Clue to,
Wou'd you take a Fool's advice,
Me voici tout pret—Cornuto
We may dub him in a trice.
Dans le Bon ton—Down derry derry.
Dans le Bon ton,
Sur le Gazon.
(Juno in furious indignation turns fiercely upon him.)
RECITATIVE.
Juno.

Indeed!—'Squire Hotſpur!—two words to that Bargain.

Par.
(with cutting indifference)

N'importe—There needs no farther arguing.

turns away.
Juno.
(apart)

To be ſent haggling here with ſuch a Puppy!

Well, Jove, remember this, if I ben't up wi' ye.

AIR VII.
Tender Paſſion, gentle Love,
Cooing, murmuring like the Dove,
[42] Shall deſert my troubled breaſt
Until the Faireſt I'm confeſt.
I'll ſhake your curtains every night,
And you ſhall tremble with affright;
I'll bounce, I'll flounce, I'll rant and rave,
And you ſhall be a very ſlave.
Exit in a rage.
RECITATIVE.
(Paris alone.)

Sans ceremonie, I diſmiſs her.

Hey, Mercury!

(Enter Mercury.)

Fetch in Pallas

Merc.
(bowing)

Yes, Sir—

(Exit. Paris remains, bumming.)

Dans le Bon ton,—hey, derry derry.

Dins le Bon ton,

Sur le Gazon,

(until Mercury re-enters, introducing Pallas. He bows and retires. She ſtands ſullen; Paris hops partly up to kiſs her.)
Par.

Servant, my dear,!—

(She repulſes him with a violent puſh.)
Pal.

Since when? Spruce Maſter Jemmy!

Par.
(aſide, his hands on his breaſt as in pain)

That Peg ſhe had from Broughton—demme!

[43] Well, Joan of Arc!—my frumpiſh Miſſy

You might, as well ha' let me kiſs ye.

Pal.

Paris, no Airs—That Pippin, without muſing,

Adjudge to me—

Par.
(ironically)

Bon;—for your Skill in bruiſing.

Pal.

I'll make your Fortune:—Call me elſe, Canary.

Par.

My Fortune, Miſs!—

Pal.

Ay, in the Milita—ry.

AIR VIII.
Bates.
Thy ſword, thy cannon's thunder,
Shall gain thee store of plunder!
Great Arthur, conquering Ammon,
Ne'er ſaw ſuch piles of Mammon!
Raiſe, young Paris, raiſe thy name!
Away, away to Wealth and Fame!
RECITATIVE.
Par.
(having ſtared at her with ſurprize)

Zauns, Miſs—What ſee you in my Figure, As if I lov'd to draw a Trigger?

[44] AIR IX.
Arne.
Let Heroes delight in the toils of the war,
In maims, blood, and bruiſes and blows;
Not a ſword, but a ſword-knot rejoices the Fair:
And what art rough Soldiers to Beaux?
Away then with laurels! come Beauty and Love,
And ſilence the trumpet and drum;
Let me with ſoft Myrtle my brows bear inwove,
And tenderly combat at home!
RECITATIVE.
Pal.

Daſtard!—Be henceforth, (ſince you're for that duty)

No Officer of mine.

Par.
(with indifference)

Ni vous—my Beauty.

Now, Merc'ry!—let the Cyprian Belle come.

Enter Mercury, hands out Pallas, and introduces Venus; then bows, and exit. She advances, ſmirking Paris, tho' ſtruck with her beauty, trips to ſalute her with his uſual pertneſs.

Ay this!

(to her) Permettez-moi! (kiſſes her)
Ven.
(frankly)

And welcome.

(leering, and chucking him under the chin)

My Paris! can you love?

Par.
(aſide)

No fooliſh item.

Yes, Ma'am—kind ſouls!—I never ſlight'em.

Ven.
[45]

Well, there's a Judge—one Menelaus—in Sparta;

(A Judge's creſt is—Horns—by Magna Charta)

That Judge, he hath a wife—that Wife hight Nelly,

But ſuch a Nell!—at ev'ry glance

The cockles of your heart would dance,

Warm'd as if by Vermicelli.

AIR X.
Helen if you can trepan,
Thou of heroes ſhalt lead the van!
Never dally,
Shilli-ſhally;
Faint heart ne'er fair lady won.
Be bold, and play the Man!
That's the plan.
That ſhape, that jim rigging
Was form'd for intriguing;
And in foreign parts
You'll reign King of Hearts.
Oh, ſuch bliſs you've no idea;
She's a peerleſs Dulcinea!
Wit delighting,
Charms inviting,
Youth inciting,
Helen, Helen to trepan.
[46] RECITATIVE.
Par.

Agreed—touchez!—Now for a Barrel Of Golden Pippins—We ſhall never quarrel.

I'll call the Ladies in that went hence.

(Takes the Apple in his hand, croſſes the Stage, and calls aloud)

Mercury!—I'm going to Paſs Sentence.

(Enter on one Side Mercury, uſhering in Juno and Pallas; on the other, Venus alone.)
AIR XI. Venetian Ballad.
Par.
(Bowing to Juno and Pallas.)
Meſdames,—to ſpeech you,
But more might diſoblige you;
I therefore beſeech you,
Let this Action teach you
My upright Award
By Equity ſquar'd,
Not Bribe or Pelf;
the Pippin, on ſtrict ſcrutiny,
Reſts here *—tho' Loſers mutiny.
Fair ye to the bone are;
But this Belle debonnaire
Is Fairneſs 'Self.
[47] (Juno and Pallas walk to and fro, ſtomachful; Venus and Paris bowing and curtſying. Mercury ſtands tittering.
RECITATIVE.
Juno.
(turning upon Paris enrag'd)

Buzzard!—in real Beauty, Ignoramus!

Pal.
(pointing to Venus)

That lewd Trull's Perſon was his Fee to bam us.

Juno.
(menacing)

For this,—an old houſe o'er! your Sconce I'll tumble.

Pal.

Poltroon!—Since War you dread, its Din ſhall rumble

In both your Ears—

Merc.

Ladies!—You're not to grumble.—

AIR XII. QUARTETTO. Fye now, prithee, John.
Ven.
Nay, nay, prithee, Dames,
Don't call blackguard names:
You no title bad—no, nor you.
Pal.
You're a jade—a dirty puſs!
And he's a rogue—has cheated us!
But Pallas won't be treated thus:
Ven., Par.
This you ſhall rue!
A Pippin, is not worth this fuſs!
And what could he do?
Juno.
Do, you fool? obſerve my face,
My ſhape and air, and every grace:
The brighteſt Queen that e'er was ſeen!
What eyes had you?
[48] (A furious Symphony; then enter haſtily Jupiter, rageouſly angry, the thunder-bolt in his hand.)
RECITATIVE.
Jup.
(to Juno and Pallas)

Ye ſpiteful Jades!—threat not my Puny Judge, elſe

For him I will, myſelf, take up the Cudgels—The proudeſt She that with him dares to meddle, I'll make dance Barnaby—without a Fiddle!

AIR XIII.
Galluppi.
The Lad has well decided:
He judg'd it juſt as I did.
Ye cou'd not all Three have it;
He to the FAIREST gave it.
Wherein to blame is He?
That he had Eyes to ſee,
And that the Truth he ſpoke?
If ſtill ye're ſtiff and ſturdy,
Cockſbobs! I'll make ye ſmoke!
My Choler don't provoke;
For, Zouns!—I'll have it ſo:
Look to't—I'm at a word wi' ye;
And now my mind ye know.
[49]RECITATIVE.
Ven.
(to Jupiter coaxingly)

The Dragon!—Dear Papa! have ſome regard on him.

Jup.
(chucking her under the chin)

Well mov'd! (nodding to Mercury) Go, ſet the Dragon free—I pardon him.

(Exit Mercury. Enter Dragon; making profound obeiſance to all.)
AIR XIV. AND LAST.
SESTETTO. Vivaldi.
JUPITER, JUNO, PALLAS, VENUS, PARIS, DRAGON.
Jup.
This be the period
Of jars—Shake fiſts and buſs;
Juno., Pal.
Yet, Sir, 'tis very odd,
You'll ſide with her 'gainſt us.
Juno., Pal. to each other.
Had you been adjudg'd it,
I ne'er ſhou'd ha' grudg'd it.
Jup.
(to Juno.)
You Puſſ,
Why grudge Venus?
Ven.
Why to me this mortal hatred?
Par.
Why to me this ſpleen inveterate?
Jup., Dra.
Why to her this mortal hatred?
Why to her ſuch ſpleen inveterate?
Ven.
[50]
Beauty's my ſole Gift of Nature;
Par.
Juſtice mine.
Juno., Pal., Dra.
(to Paris)
Yours? Venal traitor!
Juno., Pal., Dra.
(to Venus)
Conceited creature!
Juno., Pal., Dra.
(to Paris and Venus)
Thank her, ſhe cou'd give no greater.
Juno.
(aſide to Pallas)
I have no patience with ſuch flirts.
Pal.
(aſide to Juno)
Ne'er heed. We'll ſtick in both their ſkirts.
Jup., Dra.
(to both)
Blood! don't again my paſſion rouze.
Jup., Dra.
(to both)
He's your Papa, Miſs, and your Spouſe.
Jup.
(to ditto)
If you will not be cool,
I have for Scolds a School,
Juno., Pal.
You ſee Sir, we are cool.
Jup.
That's call'd the Ducking-ſtool.
Juno., Pal., Dra.
We ſhall not need that School.
Juno., Pal., Dra.
They will not need that School.
Juno., Pal., Dra.
You ſee, Sir, they are cool.
Juno., Pal., Ven.
Shake hands—We're Friends—No ſpite.
Par., Jup., Dra.
Be Friends—That's right.
Jup., Dra.
For this good hap
We'll all get fap,
And drain the tap.
Ven.
[51]
In peace let's live,
Par.
Forget, forgive.
Juno., Pal.
(aſide to each other)
Will make believe
Jup., Juno., Pal., Ven., Par., Dra.
This day ſhall be High Jubilee
Jup., Juno., Pal., Ven., Par., Dra.
Let this day be High Jubilee
Jup., Juno., Pal., Ven., Par., Dra.
(to the Audience—
Applaud, Applaud, Jove's gracious Nod.
THE END,

Appendix A ERRATUM.

P. 8. for "Scene changes to a Wild Heath"—read "Scens changes to a Wood."

Notes
*
Placing it as a Bouquet in Venus's Boſom.
Distributed by the University of Oxford under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License

Citation Suggestion for this Object
TextGrid Repository (2020). TEI. 3983 The golden pippin an English burletta in three acts As it is performed at the Theatre Royal Covent Garden By the author of Midas. University of Oxford Text Archive. . https://hdl.handle.net/21.T11991/0000-001A-596E-6