[]

Fronti Fides

[...] to the Publisher

MARTINI SCRIBLERI VERA EFFIGIES.

[...] Herman Van Kruus sculp

[]

POPE ALEXANDER's Supremacy and Infallibility examin'd; And the ERRORS of Scriblerus and his Man William Detected.

WITH THE EFFIGIES OF His HOLINESS and his PRIME MINISTER, Curiouſly engrav'd on Copper.

Obſcene with Filth the Miſcreant lies bewray'd,
Fall'n in the Plaſh, his Wickedneſs had laid.
Dunciad, Lib. II. ver. 71, and 72.

LONDON: Sold by J. ROBERTS in Warwick-Lane. M.DCC.XXIX. Price 1 s. 6 d.

Pieces contain'd in this Book.

[]
  • THE INSCRIPTIONS on the PEDESTAL of the BUSTO from which the Effigies here prefix'd, is taken.
  • A Letter to the Writer of a Letter to a Noble Lord, &c.
  • A Letter to a Noble Lord, occaſion'd by the late Publication of the Dunciad Variorum.
  • The MARTINIAD: A Poem: In One Book.
  • Curious NOTES thereon, with ſome Excerptions from Scriblerus.
  • APPENDIX, containing,
    • The ART of Writing Poetry, without a Genius, taken from the Works of Martinus Scriblerus.
    • A PARODY on the Verſes written by an ingenious Divine, on Mrs. Biddy L [...]
    • A DIALOGUE between Hurlothrumbo and Death.
    • A LIST of Books that will ſpeedily be publiſhed by the Author of the Martiniad.
    • No INDEX of Perſons celebrated in this Publication; none being celebrated therein, but Scriblerus and his Man William.

INSCRIPTIONS graven on the four Sides of the PEDESTAL, whereon is erected the BUSTO of MARTINUS SCRIBLERUS, from which Original the EFFIGIES prefix'd to this Work was taken.

[v]

The GREEK INSCRIPTION.

[...] Homer.

The LATIN INSCRIPTION.

Hanc Imaginem
Poeſeos Jocularis Specimen
Verum Authoris Dunciados Vultum
Ingenue Spectator contemplère.
Ut Animae Reſpondeat Forma,
Ut Veneno Ingenii Turpitudo Corporis
Infamis & Informis conſentit,
Lubens & Demiratus videas.
Ne Cauda Cynocephali deſit diſtortae
Suppeditavit & Poſteritati dicavit
Gulielmus Flagellator.

The SPANISH INSCRIPTION.

[vi]
Licito es al Poeta eſcribir cotra la Embidia,
E dizer mal delos Embidioſos, e aſſi de otros
Vicios, con que no Senale Perſona Alguna
Pero ay Poetas, que a trueco de dizer una
Malicia, ſe pondran en Peligro, que los deſtierren
A las Iſlas de Ponto.
Miguel de Cervantes.

The ENGLISH INSCRIPTION.

Artiſt, no longer let thy Skill be ſhown,
In forming Monſters from the Parian Stone;
Chuſe for this Work a Stump of crooked Thorn.
Or Log of Poiſon Tree, from India born:
There carve a Pert, but yet a Rueful Face,
Half Man, half Monkey, own'd by neither Race.
Be his Crown Picked, to One Side reclin'd,
Be to his Neck his Buttocks cloſely join'd;
With Breaſt protuberant, and Belly thin,
Bones all diſtorted, and a ſhrivell'd Skin.
This his Miſhapen Form: But ſay, what Art
Can frame the monſt'rous Image of his Heart.
Compos'd of Malice, Envy, Diſcontent,
Like his Limbs crooked, like them impotent.
But, Sculptor, ſince by thee this can't be done,
Nor will theſe Paſſions live in Wood or Stone;
Thine be the Taſk to carve his Carcaſs foul,
The Dunciad only can deſcribe his Soul.

A LETTER TO THE Writer of a Letter to my Lord [...] Occaſion'd by a Letter to the Publiſher of the preſent Edition of the Dunciad Variorum.

[1]
SIR,

THE Author of the Dunciad has now oblig'd himſelf, and is perfectly happy in beholding his illuſtrious Brat, the juſt Semblance of his ſweet temper'd Parent, make his Appearance: He had long promis'd, or rather threaten'd the Publick with this Edition; but Nobody would believe, that any Creature could be hardy, or vain, or wicked enough, to undertake to utter a virulent Lampoon, with the Names of many worthy Perſons at full Length; but it ſeems, the Raneour of his Mind has got the better of his Fears, and the Itch of Scribling is much ſuperior to the Dread of Chaſtiſement.

Well then, having (like Caeſar) written his own Commentaries, and given himſelf various Readings upon himſelf, having guarded himſelf on all Sides, and ſurrounded his Text with Prolegomena, Teſtimonia, Arguments, Indexes, Appendix, &c. and adorn'd himſelf with all the Pomp and Trappings that uſually attend the Dignity of an eſtabliſh'd Writer of Antiquity: Behold him ſtrutting into the World, and expecting to receive the Reverence due to his Quality, Optat Ephippia Mus, [2] and however awkardly they become him, he rejoices in them. Behold him now proclaiming himſelf a Claſſick; behold a Perſonage whom he ſtiles William Cleland, walking gravely before our Poetical Dictator, bare Headed, with the Faſces on his Shoulder; and a little behind him, an ugly Northern Thing, formerly his Colleague in Scandal and Criticiſm, an odd Mixture of Doctor, Poet, Buffoon, Punſter, Politician, Antiquary, and Cook; methinks I ſee them now marching in ſolemn Parade, round the new created Claſſick's Garden at Twickenham; I hear them repeating the Dunciad, and the neighbouring Shores reſound his Verſes.

Yet has not the Author of the Dunciad's Vanity outrun his Judgment ſo many Lengths, to perſuade him to ſet his own Name to this modeſt Performance; therefore has he borrow'd, and very properly, the Name of Martinus Scriblerus; and not content with this, or apprehenſive this was not a ſufficient Protection for him, he has publiſh'd a Letter to his Publiſher, and ſign'd it William Cleland.

I have many Reaſons which induce me to believe, that this Friend of Scriblerus's, whom he calls William Cleland, is a counterfeit Friend only, and the Words ſtand like Richard Roe, and John Doe, for Form Sake only, in a Recovery, and to give the Modeſt Author of the Dunciad an Opportunity of ſaying ſomething pretty in his own Favour. Mr. Congreve, in his Way of the World, ſhews us a Coxcomb, who uſed to enquire for himſelf at a Chocolate-houſe, and not finding himſelf there, would leave Letters for himſelf: But our little merry Author goes farther; he prints Letters to himſelf, writes Libels, threatens, forgives, puniſhes, and is really the Drawcanſir of the Age.

In the Publiſher's Preface, (for our Claſſick gives us a Publiſher's Preface, as well as a Preface to the Publiſher) he takes upon him to anſwer for Poſterity, and very modeſtly aſſures us, that this inſipid Poem will be read by Poſterity: Theſe are his Words, In this Monument they muſt expect to ſurvive (And here ſurvive they ſhall, (Oh dreadful!) as long as the Engliſh Tongue ſhall remain ſuch as it was in the Reigns of Queen Anne and King George.) If this Pigmy Animal's Wit could come up to his Malice, what Work would he make with thoſe who ſhould be ſo unhappy to fall under his Diſpleaſure! But as it is, if this Monument, as he calls it, ſhould laſt; let the preſent Age inform him, and hereby it does inform him, that it will ſtand only as a Monument of his Infamy; and thoſe that come after us will and muſt believe, the Perſons who ſtood the Marks of his petulant Malice, to be Worthy and Good Men; and the Enemies of the Author of the Dunciad, will be always look'd upon as the Friends of Virtue; they will ſee a little invidious narrow [3] Mind in every Line he has written; they will bluſh at his indecent Idaeas, and be ſhock'd at his Scurrility. Therefore I applaud your Deſign, Sir, of printing your Letter in Quarto, exactly on the ſame Size with that of the Dunciad Variorum; let it be bound up with it; let them cling together through every Age; there the Author of the Dunciad ſhall ſurvive, and ſurvive he ſhall — As long as the Engliſh Tongue ſhall remain ſuch as it was in the Reigns of Queen Anne, and King George. If this ſhould be the Caſe, What Courage, what Allies, what Stature muſt future Ages conceive this Giant Warriour to be aided with? They will imagine him at leaſt to be Seven Foot high, beyond the Growth of his Cotemporaries, both in Stature and Underſtanding. Will they not be ſurprized, when I aſſure them, and I do hereby aſſure them, (for I, Sir, put in my Claim to Immortality too, by being annexed to you) that this ſame Gyant, was but about four Foot and an Half high, of a Structure a little irregular, and his Genius Low and indecent as his Form.

But I loſe my Purpoſe, which was to ſhew the Improbability that any Man ſhould be ſo weak or unadvis'd, or hungry after any Sort of Fame to ſo mean a Degree, to place, or ſuffer his Name to be placed before a leud and infamous Libel; therefore I ſay, This ſame Author has written a Letter to himſelf in the Name of one William Cleland, and made him to commend and applaud the Author, for what every one knows he is liable by the Laws of the Land to be puniſh'd when he ſhall be diſcovered; and for this Cauſe, at the ſame Time that he has plac'd every Gentleman's Name whom he has abuſed at full Length, he has not dared to ſubſcribe his own.

It is uſual for the Merry Andrew after he has play'd over his arch Tricks for ſome Time, to put on a grave Face, to rectify his Muſcles, and to harangue his Audience in a more ſober Wiſe, to prepare them to receive the Doctor with Reſpect; and this is always done in a prefatory Way, before the Doctor produces his Medals, or his Pacquets, or proceeds to poiſon himſelf or the Company. Our Doctor of the Dunciad has thought it proper, it ſeems, that ſomebody ſhould for Form ſake take upon him this Character; and if he has not made his ſuppoſed Friend to riſe to the Dignity of his Zany, he may at leaſt be allowed to be the Vinegar of the Ring, and be qualified to whip the People into a Circle before the Sports begin. As the Character of this W. C. thus drawn by the Libeller, is of a very uncommon Kind, I will give it you in ſome Obſervations upon this merry Letter of the Author of the Dunciad, in the Name of this W. C. to the Publiſher [4] of the Dunciad; that is, to Nobody, it having been never publickly ſold when he wrote his Letter: So that here is one W. C. whom Nobody ever heard of, writing to a certain Publiſher, whom Nobody knew.

This ſame Author ſays, in the Name of W. C. that it was a Mark of his Humanity to ſtay ſo long before he executed his Vengeance upon thoſe who had offended him: Now, as Nobody knows better than he, the Strength and Bitterneſs of his own Gall, Nobody can aſſure us ſo well as he, how long Malice will keep alive, fifteen or twenty Years at leaſt it ſeems; but now as this Humanity of his (as he is pleas'd to call it) would be a very dangerous Plea at the Old Baily in an Indictment for the deſtroying a Man's Perſon, I think it ſhould weigh as little with the Candid, in juſtifying the Deſtruction of a Man's Reputation.

But he makes his William Cleland a Party to his Crime likewiſe, and declares he aſſiſted in compoſing the Libel: He makes him affirm, he was obliged to it in Humanity, for, ſays he, very gravely, It was an Orphan; an Orphan Libel. Libels are all Orphans, dear William Cleland, a Sort of Children whom their Fathers never care to own, and though your Humanity may be very great, I think in this Caſe your Prudence will hardly weight againſt it; there are very good Reaſons why this ſame Author does not own his Child; and if you knew or conſider'd them, ſure you would not thruſt your Ears into the Diſpute; but I forget that this W. C. is only an Ens Rationis, a Man of Straw, ſet up by the candid Author of the Dunciad, to combat for him.

Immediately after this, our Libeller forgot what he juſt before affirm'd, and makes this very W. C. to ſay, He has found out the Father of the Baſtard; he makes him moſt impudently to declare Mr. Pope to be the Author: If he means, as I hope he does not, the Poet of that Name, who has been ſo much oblig'd by the Publick, who is, or ought to be by his Education, a Gentleman, whom Books ought to have taught Humanity, and polite Converſation and Letters, Decency and good Manners; what does this infamous Author deſerve for making his W. C. abuſe him in this Manner. But the Reaſons he gives why he conceives Mr. Pope to be the Author, are equally ſcurrilous and ridiculous. Every one was curious (ſays he) to read what could be ſaid to prove Mr. Pope a Dunce, and was ready to pay ſomething for ſuch a Diſcovery. How came he to imagine every one [...] curious to find this Gentleman a Dunce; if he knows him to be [5] the Author of the Dunciad, every Man of common Senſe may eaſily judge what he is; but as the Perſon who has written that low and infamous Satyr, has not yet dared to ſet his own Name before it, I think it did not become this ſame W. C. whoever he is, to do it for him. If W. C. was a real and not a feign'd Perſon, I do not doubt but Mr. Pope would do himſelf Juſtice for this Abuſe, and recur to the Laws for Satisfaction upon him.

But this Author of the Dunciad, whoever he is muſt be a pleaſant Fellow, for he goes on, and makes his Man of Straw, W. C. declare, that when he ſaw Mr. Pope attack'd or written againſt, or anſwer'd by thoſe who were abuſed (for he will have him to be his Author ſtill) that he thought it was become a common Cauſe; the Danger was common to all, and his Concern ought to be ſo too; and he cauſes him very ſeriouſly to deliver it as his Opinion, That thoſe who attack'd Mr. Pope, muſt be Traitors to Church and State, and Women, (ſtrange Stuff) a little venemous Wretch, not Mr. Pope, is laſh'd for his Ribaldry and his ill Nature; and this Author makes one W. C. without any other Proof but his bare Word, to declare, That they have inſulted the Fallen, the Friendleſs, the Exil'd, and the Dead. It is plain, he would in this Place put his W. C. upon us for one not well affected to our preſent Eſtabliſhment. It is very well there is no ſuch Perſon as this W. C. If there ſhould be ſuch a one, and he ſhould have a Place under the Government, what Chaſtiſement would not this low Author merit, for putting theſe Words into his Mouth. We do very well know ſome People have fallen in the unhappy Diviſions of our Country (as he gently terms the late unnatural Rebellion) ſome are Friendleſs, ſome Exil'd, and others Dead, and therefore, thoſe who have written againſt theſe People, muſt bear the Laſh of our Author's Satyr; if it be true that they have inſulted theſe People, let our Author remember, that they firſt inſulted their Country and its Laws.

This ſame Friend of his goes on, and does now diſcover ſome Fears that hang about him, leaſt he ſhould be taken for a Fool or a Knave, by keeping Mr. P [...] Company; though it luckily happens, that his writing this Letter has determined his Character; yet he very judiciouſly conceives, it was his Duty to vindicate him in Print from all Calumny, or to be deemed either the One or the Other; ſo that according to this Notion, all the Acquaintance of Mr. P [...] are oblig'd to Print in his Vindication, or to be eſteemed Fools or Knaves: Here the Author puts forth his whole Head.

[6] This can only be the over-weening Conceit of a Self-ſufficient Writer; an aſſuming ſpurious Claſſick, aſſerting his Supremacy, and demanding Obedience, as you will ſee; for immediately after this, he affects the Regal Stile; he cauſes his W. C. to proclaim his Royalty, and accordingly he iſſues his Edicts, That all Offenders againſt him ſhall be chaſtiſed: He likens them to Aſſaſſins; he ſays, Poverty ſhall not be any Excuſe, nor to be pleaded before him, no more than at the Old Baily, neither ſhall they, ſays he, receive the Benefit of the Clergy. But ſome Time after this, his Majeſty cools, he is graciouſly pleas'd to ſhew Mercy, and he makes his Herald W. C. to grant his Dunces a little Bread, and a little Fame. How ridiculous is it, to ſee a diminutive ſtrutting Thing, erecting himſelf into a Mock-Sovereign: A modeſt Homuncio, who at the ſame Time that he privately aſſaſſinates, calls thoſe whom he wounds, Aſſaſſins? But let us conſider this Author of the Dunciad, as he really is, a Perſon Poetically mad, jealous of Fame, and envious of every Rival, graſping at the ſmalleſt Shadow of Reputation, all his Attention fix'd to one Point, raving after imaginary Honours, and ſeeking Infamy in Fame, and we ſhall incline to Pity rather than Cenſure. This throws into ones Mind the Situation of the Mad Taylor in Bedlam, who called himſelf Alexander the Great, was gracious, and bountiful, and juſt, and cruel, and victorious, and good, and bad, as thoſe Ideas ſtruck his ſick Brain.

By this Time, Sir, you may imagine, I am not a little weary of raking into this Heap of Nonſenſe and Vanity now before me; but as I now caſt my Eye forward, I can't help obſerving upon this imaginary Letter Writer, where he tells us, The Author of the Dunciad has a Contempt for the Writings of thoſe he has written againſt: This is not at all unlikely; One very ſeldom has a good Opinion of thoſe whom one has an ill Opinion of; but they are Dunces, and ſhould be abuſed for pretending to Wit: If this be the Caſe, neither the Great Scriblerus, nor W. C. nor Mr. P [...] himſelf, are exempt from the Laſh of Satyr; for Great, Dignify'd, Letter'd, as they are, ſomebody may Print and declare them Dunces, and attempt to diſplace this Stupendous Magiſtrate and all his mad Miniſtry, who uſurp the Throne of Wit. What a very Scanderberg of an Author is this!

W. C. I mean the Author of the Dunciad, in his Name, goes on and compares Boileau to himſelf: What has the Great Boileau done, to deſerve to be compared with an inſignificant Ribald? But as he is now concluding his elegant Epiſtle, he makes W. C. as is uſual in the [7] Beginning of a new Reign, to publiſh an Act of Grace, and Mercy is offered to thoſe who ſhall repent and merit it: Theſe are his Royal Words by W. C. If ever He (the Author of the Dunciad) ſhall give us an Edition of this Poem himſelf, I may ſee ſome of them treated as gently (on their Repentance and better Mind) as Perault and Quinault were at laſt by Boileau.

This little bouncing mock Emperor concludes in the Name of W. C. with this ſingular Obſervation on Mr. P [...]'s Modeſty, that he never wrote a Line, that he was ever aſham'd or unwilling to own. Now, I think it is impoſſible any Perſon but Mr. P. himſelf can be aſſur'd of this, at leaſt, nobody but Mr. P. can know that Mr. P. has no manner of Grace, or Modeſty, or Morals; and he muſt be a very Blunderer of a Letter-Writer, who could venture to aſſure the Publick ſo, and in the Name of one, who pretends to be ambitious of being call'd his Friend.

If now, Sir, after all the Reaſons I have given to the contrary, this W. C. ſhould happen to be an Exiſtence ſeparate from Scriblerus it appears however, very plainly, from his Manner of Thinking, that he is very like him, and therefore might eaſily be miſtaken for him. In this Caſe, we can only ſay, that the Paſſion of Friendſhip has miſled him, and we muſt forgive the Weakneſs of his Head, for the Warmth of his Heart. This Praiſe-worthy Zeal, for maintaining a Cauſe, the Goodneſs or Badneſs of which, the Advocate is abſolutely ignorant of, reminds me of a Story, told me by a very merry old Fellow, who was in his Youth enroll'd as a private Gentleman in the Life-Guards of King William: He was in Eſteem with the reſt of the Troop, as a Soldier of Letters, and was call'd by the Gentlemen of the Belt, by Way of Diſtinction, The Schollar. This Character he bore unrival'd for ſome Time, 'till a Brother of the Sword, grew jealous of his Reputation, and ſet up againſt him. His Rival, who had been Book-keeper to a Carrier, (and from thence derived his Title to Letters) took every Opportunity of oppoſing him, when any Subject, a little out of the Reach of the reſt of the Company, was ſtarted. One Evening, my Friend, in the Height of his Argument, threw out a Sentence of Tully, and was immediately taken up by his Antagoniſt for falſe Latin; the Debate ran high, the Troop divided upon the Point, and yet were unwilling to determine poſitively in a Cauſe, into the Merits of which, they could not ſee; 'till one, who was the Book-keeper's Comrade, a very brave, tho' not a learned Man, pull'd him by the Sleeve, and leading him into a private Room, directed him to lay his Hand upon his Heart, and inform him, upon his Honour, Whether the [8] Words ſpoken, were true or falſe Latin? And being anſwer'd, upon his Honour they were falſe Latin; he return'd immediately into the Circle of the Warriors they had left, and placing his Hand on his Sword, declar'd with great Intrepidity, That the Latin the Gentleman had ſpoken, was falſe Latin, and he would maintain it.

I am, SIR, &c.
RICHARD SMITH.

WHEREAS a certain untowardly down-looking Fellow, who would be deemed of Quality, and is indeed, Filius Populi, has taken upon him the Office of P [...]'s Nuncio, and publiſhed in Coffee-Houſes ſeveral ſcurrilous and ſcandalous Bulls or Lampoons of his Holineſs, his Maſter: This is to let him know, that he is found out, and if he goes on, he will be puniſh'd as the Laws and Statutes of this Realm ſhall require.

A LETTER TO A Noble LORD: Occaſion'd by the late Publication of the Dunciad Variorum.

[9]
‘Turpitudo Perſonae ejus, in quam liberius invehimur, nos Vindicabit: Ignoſces etiam Iracundiae noſtrae que juſta eſt in ejuſmodi & Homines & Cives.’Cicero.
My LORD,

TOGETHER, with the Dunciad, I am to return your Lordſhip many Thanks for the Loan of ſo uncommon a Piece, which cannot but be highly welcome to all the true Lovers of Scandal, ſince it leaves them no Room to doubt, as to moſt of the Perſons libell'd in it. You were pleas'd to aſſure me, my Lord, that it was left at your Houſe by an unknown Hand, and that you were an utter Stranger both to the Author and to the Nature of his Performance. It is but reaſonable therefore, that I ſhould ſatisfy [10] your Lordſhip, as to theſe two Particulars, in Return for your Goodneſs in lending me this Book, when I had ſought for it in vain, by the Means of all the Bookſellers and Publiſhers in Town. It may not be improper at the ſame Time to acquaint you, that Copies have been left at many Peers Houſes, in the ſame Manner as your Lordſhip's was, whilſt the Favourites of the Author have had whole Cargoes ſent them to diſpoſe of. Thus has a little inſignificant Lampooner, with unparallell'd Impudence, made People of the firſt Quality, privy to, and ſome of them innocently Publiſhers of his Scandal; for which, doubtleſs he will be chaſtiſed as he deſerves.

I find at the Head of this Libel, a long ſtupid Letter, which tho' ſubſcrib'd by another Name, muſt doubtleſs by Scriblerus's, or, which is the ſame Thing, the Author of the Dunciad's Encomium upon himſelf. He has, I know not with what Intent, brought in the Praiſes too of one Mr. Pope, maliciouſly inſinuating, that this Poem was of his compoſing, which one would fancy it impoſſible it ſhould be; for that Writer, after having acquir'd the Dignity of a Poet, would ſurely never condeſcend to accept of the Office of Scavenger, and rake into all the Filth of the Town. I confeſs, I at firſt conceiv'd the Name ſubſcribed to this Letter, to be ſuch an one as Scriblerus, but I have been ſince aſſured, that it is no fictitious Name, but the real one of a Perſon now living, who is deeply read in the Indexes of Books and the Secret Hiſtories of Families. Whether this be the Letter-writer's eſtabliſh'd Character or not, the World muſt judge; but this I will venture to affirm, that as the Real Author of the Dunciad can add no Reputation to this William Cleland, ſo this William Cleland can add no Reputation to the Author of the Dunciad. Should there be any Thing here like the Aſſociation between the Lion and the Jackcall, I believe in this Caſe, the Jackcall would prove the greater Beaſt of the Two: Not that I would be hereby thought to exclude this Perſon from any Title he may have to the other of theſe Appellations. I remember to have been preſent at a Trial for a Rape, wherein, the Girl, to prove her former Chaſtity, brought in an old Bawd for her Evidence: Doubtleſs this Story will admit of no Application in the preſent Caſe; but to uſe a Scrap of this Man's own Scrap of Latin, FASTIDITIS GRATIAM.

Being then oblig'd to preſume, that Mr. Pope's known Veracity and good Nature would not admit him to be ſuſpected of having wrote ſuch an Heap of Lies and Abuſe as is contained in the Dunciad; I have uſed my utmoſt Endeavours to diſcover the true Author of that Poem, and having [11] ſucceeded in my Reſearch, I have prefix'd to this Tract his Effigies, as it has been exactly tranſcrib'd from a Buſto, which was return'd upon a certain ingenious Sculptor's Hand, for reſembling, in a moſt unflattering Manner, the Original. By the rueful Features of it, I am confident your Lordſhip will immediately diſcover who is the renown'd Father of the Dunciad.

You will not, I am ſure, expect that I ſhould enter into an Examination of the Poetical Merit of that Piece; that would ſubject me to a Taſk, for which I am wholly unfit; I mean, the reading it a ſecond Time. But I am well inform'd, that the Reception which the firſt Edition met with from the Town, ſhewed that the Performance was thought as mean as the Deſign. In my curſory View of it, tho' I met with ſome Lines here and there Poetical enough, yet I thought the Generality of them very Proſaick, the whole Tale looſe and unconnected, the Tranſitions unnatural, the Parodies on the moſt admir'd Paſſages of the Ancients, were not only too frequent, but likewiſe too faintly and poorly wrought up, either to ſtrike or delight the Reader; and beſides, the Naſtineſs of the Games, and of all the Imagery in the Poem, the very Language often ſunk into downright Ribaldry, as when a Gentlewomans Breaſts are ſtiled her Fore-Buttocks or her Cow-like Udders. Upon the whole, I judg'd this Dunciad to be below all Criticiſm, both as to its Stile and Verſification.

Indeed, the Morality of it, as well as of the Notes of Scriblerus and Variorum, may deſerve a much ſtricter Scrutiny. Felons in the Condemn'd Hold at Newgate, who have no Characters to forfeit, and but little Enjoyment of Life to loſe, may venture to attack the Reputations of other Men, without Fear or Shame; but, unleſs under thoſe Circumſtances, none but a Madman could be tempted to do it. How ſhall I aſtoniſh your Lordſhip then, when I aſſure you, that no deſperate Raver, but a poor Reptile; who, as he is the moſt helpleſs, is likewiſe the moſt timid Creature living, has acted this Part. He is become a voluntary Priſoner to his own Houſe, rather than not enjoy the pitiful Pleaſure of aſperſing with Impunity, Perſons, all of them better Members of the Community than himſelf, and many of them of a much higher Rank in Life than he muſt ever pretend to; who can only derive a Mock Title, not from his Anceſtors, but his Shoulders. In his firſt Edition he had traduc'd certain Characters, for which every one has always had the utmoſt Veneration, and thinks now, by leaving out the Names of ſome, and falſly filling up the [12] Blanks of others, as well as by abſconding for a Time, to eſcape the Stripes that ought to be the juſt Reward of ſuch Writings. How monſtrous therefore has it been, to inſinuate, that they have reach'd a Preſence, where Good Nature, Truth, and Humanity only can be graciouſly receiv'd or encourag'd; the Reverſe whereof are the Characteriſticks of the Dunciad?

I am ſenſible that the Retailers in Scandal have always endeavour'd to paſs upon the World by the laudable Appellation of Satyriſts, and would take Shelter under the great Names of Horace, Juvenal, and Boileau. Not conſidering, that theſe Precedents will never be to their Purpoſe; thoſe generous Correctors of Vice, never attack'd Perſons, but Errors, nor ever expos'd the private Character, but the publick Appearance of Men, at the ſame Time taking eſpecial Care to pay the ſtricteſt Regard to Truth, even while the Scourge was in their Hands; and therefore, Boileau, in his own Vindication, ſpeaking of Chapelain, who was a bad Poet, ſays,

En blamant ſes ecrits, ai je d'un Style Affreux
Diſtille ſur ſa Vie un Venin Dangereux.

I muſt likewiſe inform this half-learned Tribe, that the Codrus of Juvenal, which theſe abuſive Writers ſo often quote for their Juſtification, was no real Perſon, but a Name deſign'd in general to ſignify any bad Poet.

True and juſt Satyr will always have its Weight; Scandal will always be condemn'd: The one is beneficial to Society, the other is detrimental to it. Whenſoever a Man has taken upon himſelf the Profeſſion of any Art or Science, by Writing, or otherwiſe, he has certainly ſubmitted his Talents therein to the Judgment of the World. A Writer therefore, who in that Art or Science, conſiſtent with good Manners, expoſes the Defects of his Fellow Writer, be it by Ridicule or Argument, is guilty of nothing that is blameable, but rather does a Praiſe-worthy Action, by endeavouring to rectify the Judgments of Men, and prevent Pretenders to Science from impoſing on the Publick. The cenſuring an Author then, only as ſuch, is what every Man has a Right to do, from the Moment he appears in Print, Hanc Veniam petimuſ (que) Damuſ (que) viciſſim. But under this Pretext to attack his private Reputation, as a Member of Society, muſt be the Reſult of the ſame villainous Principles, as would lead a Man to be guilty of Robbery or Murder, had he Courage enough for the Road. The Civil Magiſtrate [13] alone has a Right to enquire into Mens Perſonal Characters, and if they deſerve it, to expoſe and puniſh them: And it ſeems but juſt, that this Authority ſhould be veſted ſolely in him, ſince no one elſe can, with any Certainty, be inform'd of what paſſes in private Life.

The Predeceſſors of the Writer of the Dunciad, the elaborate Authors of Grubſtreet, have frequently tranſgreſs'd this equitable Rule, and finding too general a Propenſity towards enquiring into the Blemiſhes of (otherwiſe) Great Characters, have ſometimes been pretty liberal of their Perſonal Reflections, in order to render their ſeveral Dunciads the more Saleable: Yet theſe Men had at leaſt ſo much Decency, as to do this under feign'd Names, or by pointing at Perſons only by their initial Letters, which were lyable to various Readings. Thus, whilſt the Obſcurity of their Scandal ſcreen'd them from Puniſhment, their very Proceeding was a tacit Confeſſion of the Guilt of ſuch Invectives. But it was doubtleſs reſerv'd for the Modeſt Author of the Dunciad to invent the Ne plus ultra of Scandal, by calling Men, every Way his Superiors, Rogues, Blockheads, Drunkards, and Liars, in Print, with their Names at length, whilſt he ſuppreſſes his own, that he may be exempt from the Fear of a very low Puniſhment, but to which his Ears ſeem to be legally intitled.

As this is my firſt Appearance in Print, I have hitherto eſcap'd the Malice of this Scandalmonger's Pen, and do not now write out of any Hatred to him, but real Love for Mankind. A Regard to Humanity, and the Rules of Society, have rais'd in me an Indignation againſt a Writer, who has the Inſolence to appear in Publick, in Defiance of them all. I am reſolv'd, therefore (tho' ſuch a Procedure, with Relation to any honeſt Man would be deteſtable) to mark him to the World; let us examine a little into the Character of this diminutive Creature, who makes ſo free with thoſe of other Men.

I find, that upon his firſt coming to Town, out of pure Compaſſion for his exotick Figure, narrow Circumſtances, and humble Appearance, the late Mr. Wycherley admitted him into his Society, and ſuffer'd him, notwithſtanding his Make, to be his humble admirer at Will's; and afterwards finding in him a glimmering of Genius, recommended him to ſome People of Rank, and introduc'd him to the moſt eminent Men of Letters; which Courteſy he ſoon after repaid with a ſatyrical Copy of Verſes on his Benefactor: This put an End to their Correſpondence ſome Time before Mr. Wycherley dy'd. His Acquaintance by this Means being made with Sir Richard Steele, and Mr. Addiſon, they likewiſe, in Compaſſion to his unhappy Form, and deſtitute Condition, [14] endeavoured to procure him a Support under both, by ſetting on Foot a Subſcription in his Behalf; it was, indeed, for a Work, which (as has ſince appeared) they muſt have known he was not equal to; but they hoped, with their friendly Aſſiſtance, to have ſupply'd his Defects. However, his Subſcriptions were no ſooner full, when the little miſchievous Urchin, no longer able to contain his Malice, wrote a Satyr upon both theſe Gentlemen, (as he did afterwards an abuſive Libel on one of them;) and as many Things which had paſs'd in private Converſation at Button's Coffee-houſe, came to be known by the Lord O [...], of which Infidelity Scriblerus was ſuſpected, he was obliged to abſent himſelf for ſome Years from thence. After this, he liſted openly in the Tory Service, and every Week publiſh'd ſcandalous Invectives on thoſe very Whigs, who had been his ampleſt Subſcribers. He was in this honourable Occupation, when the late Queen dy'd; and our Poet ſoon changing his Note, found Means to be introduced to ſome of the young Ladies of the Court. Four of theſe, who were his beſt Friends and Patroneſſes, (as they are to any Thing that carries the Face of Wit or Learning) he abuſed in a Scurvy Ballad, for which any other Man would have received Correction; but in his Caſe, theſe generous Ladies contented themſelves with ſhewing a Contempt of his Malice, and baniſhing him their Company. This did not hinder him from writing a ſecond Lampoon, wherein he ſpared not the moſt exalted Characters, though under feigned Names; and adding Treachery to Ill-Nature, he threw the ſcandalous Imputation of having wrote this Libel, on a Lady of Quality, whoſe Wit is equal to her Beauty, and whoſe Character might have ſuffer'd by this impudent Forgery of his. But I begin to be tired, as I believe your Lordſhip is too, with raking into the dirty Parts of this foul Character. I ſhall therefore paſs over the many other low Scenes of his Life, to come to his Maſter-piece of Scandal, the DUNCIAD. This miſhapen Lump of Malice and Ill-nature, at the earneſt Requeſt of all his Friends, who feared his Abuſe more than his Enemies, had for ſome Years forborn writing Lampoons, except it were on a Curl or a Lintot; when at laſt, grown weary of this Reſtraint, and unable to live in Peace with Society, he collected a Liſt of Names, yet unabuſed by him, and reſolved to throw them together into one Satyr. To furniſh himſelf, therefore, with Matter, he went round all his Cully Bookſellers, enquiring for Scandal of any Kind; and an abuſive Story being told him, of a Parſon in Drink, which the Relater thought could not come within his Scheme of Satyr, as reflecting upon one that had never appear'd in Print; he told him [15] that he was reſolved to put it down to Laurus; for as to the Truth of it, the Town would never be at the Trouble to enquire into that.

Thus compiled, and thus compoſed, the DUNCIAD made its Appearance laſt Summer, and was ſo univerſally exploded for its witleſs Ill-nature and Falſhood, that the Gentlemen traduced in it, being only pointed at by their Initial Letters, did not think it worth their Care to correct the Author, in the Manner he deſerv'd. Yet I have been credibly inform'd, that ſome of them reſorted to no Place where Scriblerus might poſſibly be met with, without the Proviſion of a Rod, to whip this Old Boy, for his untoward Malice. But he abſconding for above a Month, and the Scandal having hurt no Creature, but the Author himſelf, their Reſentment cool'd; and the little Lampooner might have been at Peace, had he not wantonly reviv'd the Memory of his former Malice, by reprinting this pitiful Poem on Royal Paper, giving at full Length the Names of moſt of thoſe mention'd in It; together with a Comment more abuſive than the Text; which he publiſhed under an Appellation very proper to himſelf, I mean that of Scriblerus. This was ſuch a conſummate Piece of Inſolence, as one would think could admit of no Aggravation; yet he found Means to add one Degree of Impudence more to it, by preſuming at firſt to make Men of Rank and Quality, in a Manner, his Publiſhers.

Your Lordſhip may wonder, that one, who has conducted himſelf after this Manner, ſhould not have ſuffer'd under the due Correction of ſome of thoſe, whom he has thus wantonly abuſed. It is moſt certain, that nothing in the Figure of a Man, could have eſcaped Puniſhment, for ſuch repeated Inſults, many of them on Perſons of Diſtinction. But this Poetaſter having unhappily a Reſemblance in his Size and Make, to the Animal much inferior to Man; it ſeems he has been univerſally look'd upon, as beneath the Dignity of Reſentment. Upon this Occaſion, I cannot but call to Mind a Story (which I have ſomewhere read) of an honeſt Highlander, who was walking along Holborn, when he heard a Voice cry, Rogue Scot, Rogue Scot, his Northern Blood fired at the Inſult, and he drew his broad Sword, looking round him on every Side, to diſcover the Object of his Indignation, when at laſt he found that the Voice came from a Parrot, perch'd on a Balcony within his Reach; But the Generous Scot, diſdaining to ſtain his Truſty Blade with ſuch ignoble Blood, put up his Sword again, with a ſour Smile, ſaying, Gin ye were a Mon, as ye're a Green Geuſe, I would ſplit your Weem.

[16] A Sword, indeed, has never been deem'd a Weapon fit for the Correction of Libellers. Therſites, who, in Mr. Pope's Homer, reſembles our Author, both in Shape and Malice, was cudgell'd by Ulyſſes, for his faucy Language to his Betters. Aretin, the only Author, beſides that of the Dunciad, within theſe Three Hundred Years, that acquired a famous Infamy by his Pen, bragg'd of keeping many Kings and Princes tributary to him, in order to purchaſe an Exemption from his Satyrs. Yet it ſeems, ſome of the Princes of his own Country found out a better Method of dealing with him; for having been abuſed by him, they order'd the inſolent Creature ſuch a Baſtinado, as at once put an End to his Satyrical Vein. And being by this Treatment brought to himſelf, he had ſuch a true Senſe of his vile Character, that he turned his Mind wholly toward Devotion: In which Strain he wrote many Books with ſuch Succeſs, as to obtain at length, the Name of the Divine Aretin. Should the like Treatment of the Father of the Dunciad produce the like Effect, what Service might he not be of to Religion, by compoſing Pious Hymns, for the great Feſtivals of the Year, and perhaps by a Tranſlation of all the Pſalms, the firſt of which, it ſeems, he has already imitated in a moſt edifying Manner? Were Scriblerus to undertake the whole Pſalms, and perform that Work with the Juſtneſs and Accuracy of his other Tranſlations, it might not only eclipſe Sternhold and Hopkins, but even vie with that of Tate and Brady: And then, what would not the Publick owe to thoſe, who, by the Human Means of a Stick, ſhould have wrought ſo uſeful, as well as praeter natural a Converſion.

But Aretin had the Shape of a Man, and might bear a Beating; whereas, our Poet muſt of Neceſſity expire under the very firſt Blow; and he can, by the Structure of his Perſon, only be liable to one Sort of Correction, that of the Rod; which ſome Years ago Mr. Ambroſe Philips, being abuſed by him, bought for his Uſe, and ſtuck up at the Bar of Button's Coffee-houſe; and which he avoided by his uſual Practice after every Lampoon, of remaining a cloſe Priſoner at Home. The ſame Diſcipline was prepar'd for him laſt Summer, which he eſcap'd in the Manner abovementioned; and I am inform'd, that the Rods are now ready for his Chaſtiſement, as ſoon as he ſhall be found in a proper Place for whipping.

In the mean Time, as all Criminals who fly from Juſtice are executed in Effigie, his Figure is expoſed, and four Inſcriptions under it, on the ſeveral Sides of the Pedeſtal, in Greek, Latin, Spaniſh, and Engliſh. In the Greek and Latin, for having offended thoſe Languages, [17] by preſuming to tranſlate or imitate what he did not underſtand: And in his native Tongue, for having made his Britiſh Muſe, which ought to be chaſte and delicate, to ſpeak the Language of the Stews, and of Billingſgate. The Spaniſh Inſcription carries in it an Inſtruction which might have been of uſe to him had he read it, before he became a Libeller inſtead of a Satyriſt. This curious Image having been communicated to me, by one of thoſe who are abuſed in the Dunciad, in whoſe Poſſeſſion it now is, I thought it proper to take a Cut from it, which I have prefix'd to this Publication.

Whenſoever it happens, that a worthy Mind is lodg'd in a deform'd Body, I am perſwaded that all vertuous Men commiſerate the Caſe, and far from indulging any Reflections on the Figure, would uſe their utmoſt Endeavours to make both the Owner and the reſt of the World forget it: But when, as is the ſad Fate of the Author of the Dunciad, a crooked Carcaſs is become the Habitation of a much more crooked Mind; and when this Creature, far from being humbled by the irregularity of the Form aſſign'd him by Providence, makes the very Deſpicableneſs of it a Protection to him, for venting ſuch Malice, as he would not dare to utter, were he a poſſible Mark for Indignation to lay hold of. I think, in ſuch a Caſe, Mind and Body, which ſeem ſo well adapted to each other, ſhould go together, and be jointly exhibited and expos'd to the Contempt of that Society, which can have no other Reparations made them, for the Injuries of ſuch an untoward Animal.

A vertuous Man has ſtrongly implanted in him a Philanthropy or innate Humanity, which reſtrains him from reflecting too ſeverely on the Frailties of his Fellow Creatures, as remembring, that they are all of them of one Species. But Scriblerus diſtinguiſhed indeed, in a moſt remarkable Manner, by Nature, from the reſt of Mankind; has no Tenderneſs or Regard for them, but looks upon himſelf as one of a quite different Race of Beings; nor ſhall I ever look upon him in another Light.

Where, indeed, is the Definition of Man, to which he can be ſaid to anſwer? If [...] be the Term, can he have the Aſſurance to pretend to that Characteriſtick, who looks with Envy on every Thing that contributes to the Peace or Benefit of Society, and is never happy, but when he is creating Feuds and Animoſities even amongſt the moſt intimate of his Acquintance? If Man be ſtiled a Rational Creature, will Scriblerus come within that Deſcription, who knowing how little able he is to defend either his own Character or Perſon, wantonly [18] begins the Attack on others? Man is often defined to be a Riſible Animal; were this meant to denote a Creature that we laugh at, the Author of the Dunciad would bid fair to be comprehended; but all the Grammarians agree, that it ſignifies an Animal ſuſceptible of Laughter, which, Scriblerus was never in good Humour enough, with himſelf, or others, to be, nor has he been obſerv'd, ſince the Hour of his Birth, to have riſen above a broad Grin, common to him with the Quadrupede, moſt reſembling Human Nature. Thus, whatſoever is the Definition, He ſtill appears excluded from the Human Species, which may in ſome Meaſure account for, as well as excuſe his univerſal ill Will to our Race.

As I find that this laſt pompous Edition of the Dunciad is in Quarto, I have conform'd myſelf to that Size in this Publication, that your Lordſhip may be enabled to bind up this true Account of the Author and his Effigies with the Work it ſelf, ſince all of them ſeem calculated for one and the ſame Purpoſe, to make his Infamy immortal, and his Malice contemptible.

I have the Pleaſure to give your Lordſhip in Publick, this Teſtimony of my Obedience, and of the Reſpect with which

I am, My LORD,
Your LORDSHIP's Moſt Obedient Humble Servant, WILL. FLOGG.

THE MARTINIAD.
With NOTES.
In One BOOK.

[1]
AT Twickenham, Chronicles remark,
There dwelt a little Pariſh Clerk,
A peeviſh Wight, full fond of Fame,
And Martin Scribler was his Name:
[2]Meagre and wan, and Steeple-crown'd,
His Viſage long, and Shoulders round.
His crippled Corps, two Spindle Pegs
Support, inſtead of Human Legs;
His ſhrivel'd Skin, of duſky Grain,
A Cricket's Voice, and Monkey's Brain.
This Martin had the Knack of Rhime,
And ſpent at Crambo all his Time;
Lampoons and Songs devis'd ſo plenty,
While He made Ten, You ſcarce told Twenty.
[3]Whoever durſt in Verſe indite,
He had him ſtrait in Black and White.
Was any Neighbour caught in Liquor,
Martin compar'd him to the Vicar.
No Features could with him find Grace,
The long he call'd a Rueful Face,
The Man who 'roſe to the Rotund,
He ſunk him down in dull Profund.
No Sex, no Age, no State forbore,
The Dead, the Living, Rich, or Poor,
[4]Wiſe, Fool, Young, Old, Fat, Lean, or neither,
Martin lampoon'd 'em all together.
The Pariſh, thus abus'd, determine
To cruſh the rhyming biting Vermin;
They Cudgels, Rods, and Whips prepare;
Of this, Clerk Martin was aware,
And skulk'd behind a Northern Lout,
Of Shoulders broad, and Viſage Stout.
[5]This Loon he caught, and much careſs'd him,
And thus in guileful Wiſe addreſs'd him:
"You are, I ween, a Beuk-learn'd Scot,
"Unlike our Dunces here, I wot.
"I write, alas! but what I write,
"Theſe dull ones only gibe and ſlight.
"Now, would you be ſo good to own
"My Work, 'twould hugely pleaſe the Town;
"Inſtead of mine, then ſet your Name,
"And you ſhall win immortal Fame.
The Scot, thus wheedled by the Clerk,
Set to his Name, (Some ſay his Mark.)
[6]This done, the Loon, ſtead of his Pack,
Had the whole Pariſh on his Back.

[1]REMARKS.

The Martiniad, for ſo all the Manuſcripts reclaim, although ſome Criticks have aſſerted, not without Appearance of Reaſon, that it ought to have been call'd, The Martinee, in Imitation of the Odyſſee. This Poem, like That, being Hiſtorical, and looſely told, and in no Means riſing to the Epic Force of the Iliad. But as our laſt Modern Claſſic Scriblerus, hath ſurmounted this Difficulty, and call'd his the Dunciad; we fear not to follow the Guidance of ſo eſtabliſh'd an Author, eſpecially as he is the Hero of our Poem, and ſo ſtile this the Martiniad.

At Twickenham; read Twick'nam, or Twitt'nam. This Village is at preſent honour'd with the Reſidence of a ſmall modern Claſſic, and of ſome of his Poetical Underlings and Commentators. It is moſt pleaſantly ſituated, on the Banks of the Great River Thames, and hath been celebrated in Lyric Poetry, by the late Mr. Thomas D'Urfey, who, in his Richmond Balls, ſpeaking of the Inhabitants thereof, ſtileth them Twick'nam Loobies.

[2] A little Pariſh Clerk. That Office requiring a Talent in Vociferation, the ſame is moſt elegantly inſinuated under the Epithet Little, it being a receiv'd Britiſh Adage, Little and Loud.

And Martin Scribler was his Name.

He was not like the Generality of Clerks, content with reading or ſinging the Works of other Men, but likewiſe compoſed many of his own. And perhaps too audaciouſly as well as too ludicrouſly invaded the Sacred Province of King David, by vying with him in Pſalmody. Tho' I am told, that our Martin went no farther than the Firſt Pſalm, not having met with any Sort of Encouragement in that Undertaking.

Steeple Crown'd. A moſt adequate Expreſſion for the Crown of a Pariſh-Clerk, whoſe Head in this Reſpect, bears a [...] Reſemblance to a Steeple, inaſmuch as both are intended for the Omament of the Church. What Church Scribler's Steeple-Crown now adorneth, is as much a Queſtion, as it was anciently what City might claim the Birth of Homer. However, it ſhould ſeem by the Crown being its ſelf a Steeple, that Martin's Typical Head belonged to ſome Church that claimed to itſelf the Supremacy.

Cricket's Voice. This is an Animal famous for the Smallneſs of his Voice and Legs. He is obſerved to creep into the Chimneys of old Houſes, where there is much Filth and Naſtineſs, and where the Walls are full of Holes. Hence, Men, who get into Families only to pick up Scandal, and find out their Flaws, are often aſſimilated to Crickets.

Monkey's Brain. This is not to be underſtood in a literal Senſe, but metaphorically. And as Monkeys are commonly miſchievous Mimicks, we are to underſtand thoſe Diſpoſitions to have been in our Pariſh-Clerk.

While He made Ten, you ſcarce told Twenty.

This is a very quaint Parody on the [...] of [...]

[3]
Whoever durſt in Verſe indite,
He had him ſtrait in Black and White.

There is a very wide Difference between the Manuſcripts of the beſt Authority, as to the Reading of this Diſtick. That of the Vatican has it,

Did any one but go to Sh [...]
He had him down in Black and White.

And this Reading they ſupport from Authorities out of Scribler's own Dunciad, where Expreſſions tantamount are very frequent.

The Alexandrine Copy, to which we ſhall pay all due Veneration, runs thus:

Did any drop their Evening Cates,
Whip, a Lampoon was at their Gates.

This Lection is not likewiſe unſupported with Authorities, but we adhere to the Text, as conveying the moſt cleanly Ideas.

The Vicar. A very inoffenſive Divine, who had never given [...] Clerk any Provocation; but he could not bear any one of a Rank ſuperior to his in the Church, and was offended at the Vicar's pretending to ſing in another Key than He had ſet the Pſalm, and therefore trump'd up a Story of his being found drunk in a Kennel.

Rueful Face. How blind, alas! are all Mortals in their own Caſe; you ſee our Martin can ſneer at the Countenances of others; when in the whole Pariſh of Twickenham, there was not a more Rueful Face than his own. Vid. Eſſigies Scribleri, at the Head of this Publication.

Rotund. An Expreſſion in Scriblerus for Plump, denoting, as He ſays, Obeſity, and He is of Opinion, that a Fat Man cannot be a Man of Wit; For although he ſeemeth to admit Guts in a Man's Brain, He will not allow of Brains in his Guts.

Dull Profund. The Manuſcripts read DEEP, but corrige meo periculo DULL, as in the Text, our Clerk's Proſund being very Shallow, ut omnibus conſtat

[4] Lampoon'd them all together. The Church-wardens of Twickenham affirm, that there was a Gathering made for Martin, for his Chriſtmas Hymn, he being at that Time ſo poor, that he was a perfect Burden on the Pariſh; and they ſay, he no ſooner got the Money, than he lampoon'd the whole Village; but chiefly the Church-wardens, and thoſe who had been the chief Contributors towards his Collection.

To cruſh the rhiming biting Vermin. The Scholiaſt will have it crack, as an Expreſſion more appoſite to an Inſect that bites. For, ſaith this learned Annotator, whoever heard of cruſhing a Louſe or a Flea.

Cudgels, Rods, and Whips. Theſe are the Inſtruments commonly made uſe of for the Chaſtiſement of Seurvy Lampooners. Vid. Dunciad, Lib. II. V. 140. & ſequent.

Northern Lout, alias [...] MINSHEW drives the ſame from Lutum, Mud or Dirt; but SKINNER from Loeyes Saxon for a Layman, or Leos one of the Vulgar. It ſignifies one of the Scum or Dregs of the People.

And Viſage ſtout. This Hemiſtich be of no farther Uſe than to fill up the Verſe, which without it would have remain'd imperfect. Theſe neutral Expreſſions are in the Craſt of Poetry call'd REPLENISHERS. I could give you many Inſtances out of our Claſſick Scriblerus, but ſhall content myſelf with one in the Dunciad Variorum, Lib. III. V. 299, & 300.

It ſtood in the firſt Edition thus.

Thy Dragons [...] and [...] ſhall taſte,
And from each Show riſe duller than the laſt.

And I take it, the true Reaſon why our Poet left thoſe Gaps, was becauſe he could not fill them up. But one Mr. [...] having call'd upon him, in a very earneſt Manner to do him that Favour; he diſcover'd two Repleniſhers, or in the Political Language, Stop-Gaps, and the Verſe ran thus.Thy Dragons Magiſtrates and Peers [...],And it might as well have been,

Thy Dragons Shrieves and Swordbearer ſhall taſte,

Or elſe to riſe higher,

Thy Dragons, May [...] and Aldermen ſhall taſte,

[5]Or it might have done to the full as well thus,

Thy Dragons Fa fe fi fo fum ſhall taſte,

From this one Inſtance, the curious Reader may diſcover, that a Repleniſher is a Word which adds to the Meaſure without affecting the Senſe of the Verſe, not unlike the falſe Calves worn by the Spindleſhank'd, which help the outward Appearance of the Leg, without contributing any Thing to its Strength.

This Loon. Loon in Minſhew, is ſaid to ſignify the ſame as Lout, but in Bailey it is made to denote a dull heavy headed Fellow, lazy, and good for Nothing.

Beauk learn'd Scot. Here our Author in ſpeaking of a Scotchman, very humorouſly and elegantly falls into the very Dialect of that Country; doubtleſs in Imitation of the Claſſic Author of the Dunciad, where he ſpeaks of Wormius a great Antiquary, and maketh uſe of the old Engliſh Style, calling him the Myſter Wight.

As to the Term Beuk-learn'd, I find our Scholiaſt obſerves, that this Scotchman was apt to examine Books as expert Jockeys do Horſes, only by their Head and Tail, and was therefore deeply read in the Title Pages and Indexes only.

Immortal Fame. Corrige meo periculo, and read Immoral Fame. For altho' all the Manuſcripts agree with the Text, yet is it very manifeſt, that the ſpurious t muſt have crept into the firſt Manuſcript by the Inaccuracy of the Tranſcriber, who, being doubtleſs one of little Genius, did not perceive how [...] it was, to attribute the Word Immortal to the Fame of any of Scriblers Works. And this Error being once crept in, the ſervile Tranſcribers have all follow'd one another in it. From this one Example, I think the Reader may infer, notwithſtanding the vulgar Opinion to the contrary, That Good Senſe is required to conſtitute a True Critick.

[6] Pack. Denotes a Bundle of Cloaths or Linen, the Form of which is peculiar to thoſe of North Britain, many of the Inhabitants whereof, come up to London with one of theſe at their Back, and as ſoon as they can get into a more genteel Method of Travelling, are apt to forget the Pack they came up with. We may affirm, that our Highland Loon's Pack is fuller of Scandal than of Linnen.

Had the whole Pariſh. This muſt be underſtood figuratively: For although Milo arriv'd to the Strength of carrying an Ox, yet had he ennur'd himſelf thereto, by bearing him daily on his Shoulders from a Calf. So had our Highlander firſt bore one, then two, then three Men, peradventure he might have attained to the Force of carrying a great Number; but to think that he could ſtep from a Pack, at once, to bear a whole Pariſh, is unnatural and abſurd. Wherefore, by Pariſh, are here underſtood, the Cudgels, Rods, and Whips of the ſaid Pariſh, and for theſe, his Back ſeemeth to have been broad enough.

FINIS.

Appendix A APPENDIX.

[1]

Appendix A.1 A Curious Receipt, wherein is diſcloſed, the Art of writing Poetry with a ſmall Genius, taken from MARTINUS SCRIBLERUS's Writings.

READER, be thou Gentle, or be thou otherwiſe, I have alway thy Profit and Pleaſure before mine Eyes, from the which I ſhall not readily ſwerve, elſe mayeſt Thou, in all Probability, caſt me off, as is uſually practic'd with unprofitable Servants. As I have by my Sagacity diſcover'd certain mechanical Rules, by the Help whereof Scriblerus hath obtained unto himſelf the Name of a mighty Poet: I queſtion not, but the imparting the ſame unto Thee, will be of Contentment and Delight. It may furthermore be a Work conducive toward the Strength and Glory of this my native Iſland, by multiplying the Number of Poets therein. Theſe have hitherto been but few, from a miſtaken Opinion, that a Genius, Learning, and a good Ear, were requiſite to conſtitute a Poet; whereas, from the following plain and eaſy Rules, it will moſt evidently appear, that Application and Practice only are neceſſary. By the Help of theſe, I will undertake, that any induſtrious Engliſhman, may, in the Space of one Month, become as great a Verſificator, as even the Great Scriblerus himſelf.

Let the Man then, whoſe ſublime Paſſion it is to ſhine in Poeſy, accuſtom himſelf to Tautophonys, or Ingeminations of Sounds. This is [2] moſt effectually perform'd, by ſelecting Words, that begin with the ſame Conſonant, and theſe placed at due Diſtances, Two, Three, or more, in one and the ſame Verſe, create a Muſick in Poetry, inſomuch, as that the Lines ſo compoſed, may be indifferently, either ſung or ſaid. Of a Truth, this is an Art, which ſeemeth to have eſcaped the Knowledge of all the Antients, whether of Greece or of Rome, and was hidden from the moſt celebrated even of our Britiſh Poets, being, like many other ineſtimable Secrets, wrapt in the dark Womb of Time, to be brought to Light only by the ſkilfull Midwifery of the Renowned Scriblerus. Some Traces, indeed, there are of this Art, amongſt ſome of the Monkiſh Writers, from whence our Poet may have taken the Hint. But the Monks never reduc'd the ſame to any regular Practice (as our modern Claſſick hath done) nor did they make uſe thereof in any but Latin Verſes, and thoſe chiefly Technical ones, for the Help of Memory: So that the Invention, or at leaſt the Perfection of this Noſtrum, is owing to Martinus.

Conformable to his Rules, were I to mention an Author, whoſe Pride could bear no Fame but his own, and that of his ſervile Flatterers, I would make the Verſes run thus,

Poets ſupport, like Pamper'd Prieſts, their Pride;
Such Stigmatize as Stick not to their Side.

Where the well choſen P's of the firſt Line, and the ſoft hiſſing S's of the Second, compoſe a moſt excellent Harmony. But paſt all Peradventure, Courteous Reader, for ſuch doubtleſs by this Time thou art become, thou mayeſt deem it more for thy Inſtruction to learn this Poetical Jingle in the Words of Scriblerus himſelf.

Dunciad, Lib. 1. v. 65.
She ſees a Mob of Metaphors advance,
Pleas'd with the Madneſs of the Mazy Dance.
Ibid. v. 125.
A Gothick Vatican! of Greece and Rome
Well-purg'd, and Worthy Withers, Quarles and Blome.
Ibid. v. 171.
So Spins the Silk-worm, Small its Slender Store,
Labours the
Vid. Mſs.
Clue, that Clouds it ſelf all o'er.
Ibid. v. 225.
Raptur'd, He gazes Round the dear Retreat,
And in Sweet Numbers celebrates the Seat.
Dunciad, Lib. 2. v. 57.
Swift as a Bard the Bailiffs leaves Behind,
He Left huge Lintot, and out-ſtript the Wind.
[3]
Dunciad, Lib. 2. v. 119.
Curl ſtretches after Gay, but Gay is Gone,
He graſps an empty Joſeph for a John.
Ibid. v. 205.
While thus each Hand Promotes the Pleaſing Pain,
And quick Senſations Skip from Vein to Vein.
Ibid. v. 253.
Long Chanc'ry Lane Retentive Rolls the Sound,
And Courts to Courts Return it Round and Round.
Dunciad, Lib. 3. v. 5.
Then raptures high the Seat of Senſe o'erflow,
Which only heads, Refin'd from Reaſon know.
Ibid. v. 107.
Peel'd, Patch'd and Pyebald, Linſey-woolſey Brothers,
Grave Mummers! Sleevleſs Some, and Shirtleſs others.
Ibid. v. 155.
Some free from Rhime or Reaſon, Rule or Check,
Break Priſcian's head and Pegaſus's Neck.
Ibid. v. 335.
Signs following Signs Mark out the Mighty Year,
See the dull Stars Roll Round and Re-appear.

I might give a thouſand more Inſtances of the ſame Nature, for indeed there are not any two Lines together, in the whole Dunciad, or in any other of the Writings of this Author, wherein the ſame mechanical Trick is not practiſed: And it is from thence that He hath acquir'd the Name of Melodious Martin, and not, as hath been falſely inſinuated from his having ſung his own Pſalm in a certain Lutheran Congregation, the which we eſteem of, only as a fictitious Tale devis'd for Mirth, it being well known, that our Poet belongeth to a much more ancient Church. But to return to our Subject. Whoſoever, by an unwearied Exerciſe in Vocabularies and Dictionaries of Rhyme, ſhall have repleniſh'd the Tubes of his Memory with Similar Sounds, will, in Proportion to his Application and Labour therein, rival, or even ſurpaſs, if poſſible, the Merit of our Great Martinus.

Any Perſon, moderately vers'd in Poetical Works, muſt have remark'd, that Adjectives are moſt commonly foiſted in, not to add to the Senſe, but in order to fill up the Meaſure of a Verſe. In all ſuch Emergencies, it behoveth our Apprentice in Poeſy, to make a moſt fervent Search for an Adjective, that beginneth with the ſame Letter as his Subſtantive, even although the Context ſhould ſeem to ſuffer thereby. Thus muſt Comfort always be cold, the Day at Noon Dawning, the Fury even of Scriblerus Fatal, Garments Gorgeous though all tatter'd, Head Heavy, Limbs Lazy, Mind Muddy, Night Noiſy, Plight Pleaſing be it never ſo ſad, Quail Quivering, Rake Reeling tho' ſober, Sot Social, and Treat or Theobald Taſteleſs. True it is, that [4] this ingenious Gentleman hath manifeſted as good a Taſte as any of our Writers whatſoever; but what hath Truth to do with Scriblerick Poetry? His Name, and Taſteleſs, both commence with the ſame Letter; and therefore, untill He ſhall preſent us with a more convenient Adjective, beginning with a T, He muſt be contented with this abuſive and unjuſt one, Euphoniae Gratia.

Theſe Adjectives, or others in their Stead, having been choicely collected, as has been premis'd, out of the Dictionary, conſtant Regard being had to the initial Conſonant, they muſt at ſometimes immediately precede or follow their Reſpective Subſtantives, and at others may be ſever'd at a due Diſtance from the ſame, from whence will reſult a moſt delectable Variety of Harmony. For the firſt Sort, take this Example,

Form'd was his Figure Foul, in Limbs, in Face,
A Perfect Parody on human race.

But, Reader, Thou wilt be much more edify'd with the Words of Martinus, the Father and undiſputed Inventor of this Poeſy. Hear then, the Soft Sweet-warbling Twick'nam Swan.

Dunciad, Lib. 1. v. 21.
Or praiſe the Court, or Magnify Mankind,
Or thy griev'd Country's Copper Chains unbind.
Ibid. v. 39.
Hence hymning Tyburn's Elegiac Lay,
And the Soft Sing Song of Cecilia's Day.
Ibid. v. 91.
While Penſive Poets Painful Vigils keep,
Sleepleſs themſelves Secure the Readers Sleep.
Dunciad, Lib. 2. v. 13.
To grace this honour'd day, the Queen proclaims,
By Herald Hawkers, High Heroick Games.
Ibid. v. 143.
The Goddeſs then — who beſt can ſend on high,
The Sallient Spout, far Streaming to the Sky.
Ibid. v. 395.
How Laurus Lay inſpir'd beſide a Sink,
And to Meer Mortals ſeem'd a Prieſt in Drink.
Dunciad, Lib. 3. v. 57.
Then Stretch thy Sight o'er all her Riſing Reign,
And let the Paſt and Future Fire thy Brain.
Ibid. v. 135.
A Second See, by Meeker Manners known,
And Modeſt as the Maid that ſips alone.
Ibid. v. 205.
But Fate with Butchers plac'd thy Sacred Stall,
Meek Modern Faith to Murder, hack, and Mawl.

[5] Although we have as yet only mention'd Adjectives, yet may the obſerving Reader have ſeen, from the Inſtances given, that Verbs alſo come under the ſame Rule: And neither of them are to be deemed inſeparable from the Subſtantive to which they are wedded. Of this Poetick Licence, let me furniſh unto thee a Scriblerick Inſtance.

Scurvy Shall Sound thy Scandal to Mankind,
And as thy Make, ſo Monſtrous is thy Mind.

But without all Doubt, the Reader coveteth Examples from the Mouth of Martinus, as being far more authentic, than any faint Reſemblances of his Art. I ſhall therefore ſubjoin a few.

Dunciad, Lib. 1. v. 89.
Here May'rs and Shrieves all huſh'd and Satiate lay,
Devour in Dreams the Cuſtard of the Day.
Ibid. v. 117.
Volumes, whoſe Size the Space exactly fill'd,
Or which fond Authors were ſo Good to Gild.
Dunciad, Lib. 2. v. 61.
So lab'ring on, with Shoulders, Hands, and Head,
Wide as a Windmill all his Figure ſpread.
Ibid. v. 223.
Such happy Arts Attention Can Command,
When Fancy Flags and Senſe is at a Stand.
Ibid. v. 265.
Dire is the Conflict, Diſmal is the Din,
Here ſhouts all Drury, There all Lincolns-Inn.

Thus have I, worthy Reader, explained unto Thee the firſt Secret in Scriblerus's Poeſy, namely, That Divine one of Ingemination; and as I have ſet before Thee a great Diverſity of Examples, Theſe muſt ſuffice to give Thee full Light into this Myſtery; the Reſt muſt be the Reſult of thine own Diligence in putting this Precept Properly in Practice.

Proceed we then to certain other mechanical Rules, whereby great and eminent Poets may be produc'd, without the Help of Genius. In the ſecond Place therefore the ‘— Hiatus in M. S. valde Deflendus’

Although in this Place there be a Gap in our Manuſcript, which can never enough be lamented by the Learned, yet are there preſerv'd to us many Fragments of the ſame, containing moſt curious Secrets; [6] but as they are replete with Quotations from Scriblerus, I muſt defer exhibiting them 'till a more convenient Seaſon. I think in the long Winter Nights, in which all well regulated Families aſſemble round the Chimney, a Preſent of this Nature may not be uncomfortable. At ſuch a Seaſon, ſhould any one, endued with an even ſteady Voice, read the many Excerptions out of Scriblerus, contain'd in the remaining Parts of this Manuſcript, what with the genial Warmth of the Fire, the Lullaby whiſtling of the Wind, and the Monotony, or Sameneſs of Sound in the Verſes, That Slumber might effectually be procur'd, which is ſo ſoporiferouſly deſcrib'd in the ſecond Book of the Dunciad. Perhaps that good Effect might be produc'd at this very Hour, without any concurring Helps, were it poſſible to find People, whoſe Blood in Spring ran ſluggiſh enough to ſit ſtill and hear ſuch a Work read to them.

Notwithſtanding the great Veneration I have for the Author of the preceding Manuſcript, yet muſt I beg leave to animadvert on one Aſſertion therein, which I take to be erroneous; viz. That the Divine Art of Ingemination of Sounds in Poeſy, was the ſole Invention of Martinus Scriblerus; whereas, in Juſtice to the Memory of his Predeceſſor Mr. John Grub, the Great Founder of the Street and Sect, which ſtill bear his Name, I ſhall venture to affirm, that he was no Stranger to this Myſtery. This will moſt evidently appear by a moſt curious Fragment of his, which I ſhall here ſubjoin; and which, perhaps, may be a Preſent as welcome to the Publick, as thoſe many Books of Tacitus, ſaid to have been lately retriev'd by the Fidelity of the Conſtantinopolitan Library Keeper, who may well be ſtyl'd the Bentley of the Eaſt. Such is the Beauty of the Allegory, couch'd in the few Lines of our Fragment, and ſuch the Harmony of its Verſification, as may juſtly entitle it to a Place in the next Edition of the Dunciad. The Verſes of Mr. Grub are as follow.

Thus Trojan Boots ting'd with Tartarean Glue,
Near which the Greaſy Great Gambadoes Grew,
While Coaches rumbled round my Roman Noſe,
And green Iniquity grew grey in Proſe.

I intended here to have taken Leave of my Patient Reader, (for ſuch doubtleſs he is, who has been ſo good as to accompany me thus far) but reflecting with my ſelf, That our Martinus hath not had the Leiſure or Occaſion of celebrating the due Praiſes of his [7] Panegyrical Letter Writer; I have determin'd for the preſent to ſupply this Defect, by a Diſtick written in the Spirit and Stile of our Poet.

See Clumſy Cleland lay a Claim to Wit,
From Puzzled Proſe, in Poets Praiſes writ.

Appendix A.2 A PARODY on the Verſes written on Mrs. Biddy L [...], by an ingenious Divine.

THE Snarling Tribe did Momus late intreat,
A Satyrist to form by new Receipt:
He ſent, and found on Africk's Monkey Shore,
Tricks, Impudence, Ill-nature, Looks forelore;
To theſe Ingredients, ſoon the ſneering God
Join'd the Malicious, Petulant, and Odd.
He did the Faults of Courtiers next provide,
Scandal, and Smut, and Lies, and ſervile Pride:
Theſe Momus mixt with ev'ry lighter Grain
Of trifling, wild, preſuming, pert, and vain.
This Image anſwer'd the Projector's Scope,
He laugh'd, and call'd the Compoſition [...]

Appendix A.3 A Dialogue between Hurlothrumbo and Death. Inſcribed to Martin and his Man William.

[8]
‘Tu es Hurlo, ego Thrumbo. ’Plautus.
Hurlothrumbo.
THOU long liv'd Mortal, whither bound?
That I may ſhun the fatal Ground.
Death.
To Twick'nam I direct my Way,
A Pigmy Poet is my Prey.
Hurlo.
Thy promis'd Prey is not, I hope,
The Great (though little) Scribler, P [...]
For He's Immortal, and thy Dart
Can't reach his Fame, his better Part.
He too a Weapon wields, I wiſt,
Which, like thy Lance, none may reſiſt.
Homer and Shakeſpear thou, in vain,
Through many Ages would'ſt have ſlain;
Our Alexander, at one Blow,
Has laid th'Immortal Bards full low.
Then boaſt no more thy Pow'r to kill,
Thy Launce muſt yield to Scribler's Quill.
And ſince thy Murders claim the Scourge,
Go: His unquell'd Reſentment urge;
He with deſpotick Pen, at once,
Will write thee down a deathleſs Dunce.
Death.
I fear to battle this dread Imp,
But, 'ſtead of him, I'll ſlay HIS PIMP.
Hurlo.
Alas! how can'ſt thou, Death, contrive
To kill what never was alive.

Appendix A.4 BOOKS that will ſpeedily be publiſh'd by the Author of the MARTINIAD.

[]
  • THE BATTLE of the TOMBSTONES at TWICKENHAM. A Heroi-Comical Poem; with Notes; wherein is contain'd the Art of procuring Pictures for Nothing; a Work very uſeful to thoſe who have more Curioſity than Money. To which is added an Obſervation on the Proceedings of Spiritual Courts, by a CIVILIAN.
  • The SCOTCH SPY, in Two Parts. The Firſt containing all Intelligence, True or Falſe, fit for Foreign Miniſters. The Second containing only the Falſe Intelligence, proper for Certain Perſons at Home. By Major Sputter.
  • Major Sputter's Travels into Spain and Italy; containing a full Account of the Pleaſure of the Dog-days in Spain, and a curious Inſtance of Britiſh Ingratitude in Italy. The whole interſpers'd with ſeaſonable Reflections on the Method of Educating young Gentlemen. To which is added, by way of Appendix, Mercurius in Vehiculo; or The notable Adventures of a Cart: By a Spaniſh Surgeon.
But when the Aſs forgot his Duty,
With Scorn he cry'd, Et tu quoque Brute.
Prior's Fable of the Lyon.
Distributed by the University of Oxford under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License

Zitationsvorschlag für dieses Objekt
TextGrid Repository (2020). TEI. 4119 Pope Alexander s supremacy and infallibility examin d and the errors of Scriblerus and his man William detected With the effigies of His Holiness and his prime minister curiously engrav d on copper. University of Oxford Text Archive. . https://hdl.handle.net/21.T11991/0000-001A-57C6-3