[] A TRIP to the MOON.

CHAP. I.

THOUGH the following Piece is not of a Biographical Nature, the Author thinks it neceſſary to give ſome ſhort Account of himſelf and his Family, that thereby forming a Kind of Acquaintance with his Readers, they may purſue their Journey together thro' the LUNAR WORLD with more Cordia⯑lity and Pleaſure.

It is well known by thoſe who have Skill in Heraldry, that the LUNATICS have been a conſiderable Family, ever ſince ENG⯑LAND [2] WAS ENGLAND; they have occa⯑ſionally been at the Helm of State; they have nodded upon Wooll-Packs in Lawn Sleeves; they have diſpenſed Law from under Voluminous Wigs; they have ra⯑vaged Nations with Armies, and plowed the Deep with Fleets; in ſhort, they have filled every Station in Life, from Princes to Coblers; from Ducheſſes to Cham⯑bermaids: To make a complete De⯑tail of Genealogical Particulars, would be a Work of inſufferable Prolixity and Oſtentation; wherefore the AUTHOR will only revert to his Great Grandfather, the firſt BARONET of his Part of the Fa⯑mily; and proceed from him in a direct Line, without Regard to ſeveral other di⯑ſtinguiſhed collateral Branches.

WHIMSICAL LUNATIC, Eſq after⯑wards Sir WHIMSICAL, diſtinguiſhed himſelf much by his Zeal in Favour of Royalty, at that Critical Period when the [3] REPUBLICAN Party made ſuch ſevere At⯑tacks upon the weak and unfortunate FIRST CHARLES; nor did he, like the mercenary ſlaves of Intereſt, attach him⯑ſelf, till Rebellion had ſo far gained the Aſcendant, that Hope was fluttering on its laſt Wing; not PERSIAN like, a Wor⯑ſhipper of the riſing, but a faithful fol⯑lower of the ſetting Sun; purſuing his Beams even into the profound Darkneſs that enſued, with a Spirit truly heroic he join'd the general Wreck, which depriv'd the Monarch of his Life, and himſelf, among many others, of his Eſtate.

Thus reduced, for ſome Time he com⯑forted himſelf with the Opinion of CATO; that it is a neceſſary Compliment in every good Citizen to join the Ruin of his Country: However, Want of Mo⯑ney, which generally gives Time for Re⯑flection, and adds Force to it, ſoon led him to entertain a different Notion of [4] the prevailing Party; through the Op⯑tics of Neceſſity freſh Notions of Free⯑dom entered his ever active Brain; Non⯑reſiſtance and Paſſive Obedience, his darling Principles, vaniſhed like Miſts before the Sun, and a new Kind of Pa⯑triotiſm ſo enflamed him, that he com⯑menced one of thoſe public-ſpirited Ora⯑tors, ſince diſgraced by the Title of Fa⯑natic Preachers.

Being poſſeſſed of great Volubility, Force of Expreſſion, and Luxuriance of Fancy, he ſoon became highly diſtin⯑guiſhed in his New Capacity; and as Converts are generally moſt zealous againſt the Cauſe they have forſaken, he was eſteemed ſo valuable an Acquiſition, that CROMWELL cauſed his Eſtate to be reſtored, and had him elected a Member of his firſt PARLIAMENT; in which Situ⯑ation he made a very conſiderable Fi⯑gure: No one in the Debates com⯑manded [5] more Attention and Reſpect. Hence he might have been eminently advanced in the State; but, like a true LUNATIC, being fond of Oppoſition, and diſdaining to run with the Stream long, he began to find Fault with the Conduct of Public Affairs; openly de⯑claring, that the Plan of PLATO'S RE⯑PUBLIC, with ſome Alterations and Amendments of his own, would be the only ſure Foundation for National Hap⯑pineſs.

His Objections to almoſt every Mea⯑ſure propoſed, rendered him remarkably obnoxious within Doors, but made him popular without; however, as in thoſe days the VOX POPULI was not eſteemed the VOX DEI, he reaped no other Advan⯑tage from his hardy and anxious Endea⯑vours, but ſome faint Gales of whiſpered Applauſe; for public Acclamations in Favour of laborious Patriots, were not [6] then ſo common or ſo ſafe as they have been ſince.

Plumed up and animated with the Ap⯑probation of many as diſcontented as himſelf, he gave full Scope to his Zeal, without apparently waking the Dragon Power from his Slumbers, as his Keepers ſhrewdly foreſaw that to lie in Wait for hot-brained Politicians is the ſureſt Me⯑thod of circumventing them: And even ſo it happened with the illuſtrious Perſon⯑age here ſpoken of, who grew ſo extremely violent upon the Motion for conſtituting CROMWELL LORD PROTECTOR, which he ſaid was only a ſofter Name for TYRANT, that his Fury knew no Bounds, but hur⯑ried him to ſuch Lengths of general and perſonal Reflection, that he was not only expelled the Houſe as a ſeditious Mem⯑ber, but was alſo put under legal Proſe⯑cution, and amerced with ſo heavy a Fine for Defamation, that his Eſtate could [7] ſtretch little farther than to ſave him from a Priſon.

Thus, once again ſunk into the unho⯑ſpitable and chilling Shade of Fortune, he had no Comfort left but the Upright⯑neſs of his own Heart, and ſome diſtant Hopes that Matters might yet take a more favourable Turn; which however did not happen till ſome ſhort Time be⯑fore CROMWELL'S Deceaſe; when, a rich Relation dying, he obtained a Legacy that redeemed his Eſtate, and enabled him to appear in public with Reſpect; for Reſpect uſually follows the Circum⯑ſtances, and not the Qualifications of a Man.

At this Period, as if his Life had not been already ſufficiently diſturbed, he took it into his Head to marry a ſecond Wife, his own Houſe-keeper; who being raiſed to the Degree of Miſtreſs, poſſeſ⯑ſed [8] of Youth without Prudence, and Beauty without Underſtanding, made ſuch large Strides to arbitrary Power, that all her Huſband's REPUBLICAN Principles could not ſtem the Torrent of her Pride and Extravagance. This do⯑meſtic Concern kept him from meddling any further in Politics, than addreſſing his Life and Fortune, among the other good People of ENGLAND, to RICHARD CROMWELL, ſome Years Poverty having made him approve of the Office of PRO⯑TECTOR. However, upon hearing of CHARLES'S Approach, his Heart took ſuch a Yearning towards the lawful Prince, and indefeaſible hereditary Right flowed back upon him in ſuch a Tide of Loyal⯑ty, that he was one of the foremoſt to transfer Allegiance from RICHARD to CHARLES; in Acknowledgment of which forward Zeal that good-humour'd, liberal Monarch created him a BARONET; inti⯑mating, at the ſame Time, a Deſign, when [9] Affairs were entirely ſettled, of extending his Royal Bounty in a Manner more wor⯑thy his great Deſervings.

But, alas! how vain, tranſitory, and de⯑luſive are human Expectations? How ſpeedily does the ever-gaping Grave ſwallow up the air-built Fabrics of Ima⯑gination? Some few Nights after his new Dignity had been conferred upon him, the BARONET, while his heart was expanding with Joy at his Country's Fe⯑licity, ſacrificed ſo profuſely at the Shrine of BACCHUS, and ſwallowed ſo many Bum⯑pers for the PUBLIC GOOD, that, falling aſleep among ſome as much intoxicated as himſelf, he was, as is ſuppoſed, ſtifled, being found dead in his Chair by a Wai⯑ter. Thus—oh fatal and irreparable Chance!—died that great Man, who ex⯑pired, as he had lived, in the Cauſe of old ENGLAND, a real and uniform LUNA⯑TIC.

[10] As Impartiality is the very Eſſence of Hiſtory, it ſhall be moſt carefully preſer⯑ved upon this Occaſion; wherefore, tho' Nature may plead to draw a Veil over the Failings of Anceſtors, yet our Au⯑thor cannot help acknowledging that Sir WHIMSICAL'S Succeſſor deviated con⯑ſiderably from the Dignity of his Name and Family; for notwithſtanding he had ſo bright an Example before him, to light him on his Way like another AR⯑CADIAN STAR, and came to his Eſtate in a buſtling Time, yet did he meanly be⯑take himſelf to the Retirement of a Coun⯑try Life, making the Improvement of his Fortune, the comfortable Settlement of his Tenants, a plentiful Houſe, and half a Dozen ſociable Neighbours, his chief Pleaſure: However, this phlegmatic Cloud, as I may call him, upon the Glory of the LUNATICS, complaiſantly retired in ſeven or eight Years, and made Way for Sir HUMPHREY, Father of the Author.

[11] Here Family-Splendor again began to break forth; the young BARONET firſt diſtinguiſhed himſelf eminently upon the famous Bill of Excluſion ſo boldly framed againſt JAMES Duke of YORK, after⯑wards King. During the ſhort Reign of that obſtinate Prince, he alternately ſup⯑ported Royal Prerogative and popular Liberty; ſo, being of both Sides, reaped Advantage from neither. He was not in the Aſſociation for inviting the Prince of ORANGE, yet joined him ſoon after his Arrival; notwithſtanding which he was always one of the foremoſt to cramp that Monarch in the Operations of Govern⯑ment. The War of Queen ANNE he vehe⯑mently declared againſt; and, when the War was ended, was as vehement againſt the Peace of UTRECHT; juſt after which he died, expiring with this Wiſh, that the Authors of ſuch a Peace might never en⯑joy Peace. In ſhort, he was deeply con⯑cerned in the political Occurrences of [12] five-and-thirty Years, fully inheriting the glorious Spirit of Oppoſition, and exert⯑ing it with ſuch Effect, that he was the main Cauſe of removing a Dozen Mini⯑ſters of State, moſt of whom he thought honeſt till in Office; but became con⯑vinced at laſt, by repeated Experience, that if at any Time PLACE-HUNTERS do act upon juſt Principles and are uncor⯑rupt, their Virtue can only be compared to that of thoſe Women, who are chaſte for want of Temptation or Opportunity.

Our AUTHOR was, at the Time of his Father's Deceaſe, but twelve Years old; and, by his Will, put under the Guardian⯑ſhip of a Perſon, who had ſtrict Charge to inſpire him with the Love of ſome occult Science which might render him famous: Accordingly, his Genius being conſulted, Aſtronomy was fixed upon, in which he made an aſtoniſhing Progreſs; but as he is ſtill alive, and an Actor on this great Stage [13] of Life, we ſhall leave his Character and Portrait to a future Day, that we may not incur the Charge of Flattery or Malice, by pointing out Beauties or Defects.

Be it ſufficient then to remark, that the preſent Sir HUMPHREY, tho' inti⯑mately acquainted with all Political Con⯑cerns, tho' a faithful Repreſentative of his Conſtituents, yet has taken a different Method to the immortalizing his Name, and embalming it for Poſterity; viewing terreſtrial Concerns, where ſcarce any Thing but Self-Love, and its Train of ſordid Conſequences, prevails, but as ſe⯑condary Points of Care to a wiſe Man. He has ſtudiouſly traverſed the whole Planetary Syſtem; and tho' ſome worldly Grubs may look on him as a mere Star⯑gazer, the following Account of his TRIP TO THE MOON will ſhow that he deſerves as exalted a Place in the Rolls of FAME, as any LUNATIC that ever [14] made a Figure in Life; having this Ad⯑vantage over his Predeceſſors of conſpi⯑cuous Memory, that his Fame is, in the humbleſt View, founded upon innocent, not deſtructive Principles; upon univer⯑ſal, wondrous Philoſophical Harmony; not violent, deſtructive Political Diſſen⯑ſion.

In this Senſe he has conſented to ſub⯑mit himſelf and the following Journal to public Opinion; perſuaded that however peculiar the Things he is to relate may appear, daily Experience proves they are not leſs true for being ſtrange; and he even flatters himſelf that they may not be leſs entertaining becauſe derived from a Country and People ſeldom mentioned in our World; for it is a Country much to be admired, and a People, in many Points, highly deſerving Imitation.

CHAP. II.

HAving always attentively buſied my⯑ſelf in the Contemplation of thoſe innumerable and wonderful Bodies, which catching Light from the Sun, when he deſcends below our Hemiſphere, adorn the Firmament with golden Specks, for ſuch they ſeem to unaſſiſted mortal Eyes; and being always extremely curious to examine whatever related to thoſe Bo⯑dies, I form'd great Expectations from a Piece which once fell into my Hands, called BERGERAC'S VOYAGE to the MOON; the Title indeed gave me parti⯑cular Pleaſure, as I hoped to find ſome⯑what very extraordinary in the Con⯑tents; yet was I vaſtly deceived, for tho' [16] there are ſtrong Marks of Genius in that Production, upon the whole I could diſ⯑cover nothing very intereſting; however the Thought of a Journey to the LUNAR WORLD ſtruck very deep, and all my Calculations, all my Wiſhes, were ever after aſſiduouſly employed on the effect⯑ing ſuch a Jaunt; till at laſt, without any apparent Merit of mine, it happened in the following Manner.

The latter End of laſt MAY, taking a nightly Walk of Contemplation, I aſcend⯑ed a green Hill of conſiderable Height, whoſe Top was ſhaded with Trees, from whence, in awful Silence, broke only by lulling Notes from the plaintive Nightin⯑gale, I beheld, below me, a ſpacious Vale, interſected by the ſlow and ſtately Stream of a well-known River, ſkirted by a venerable Grove, whoſe Branches, as SHAKESPEAR has it, were ſilvered by the MOONSHINE'S watry Beams; that Planet [17] having then filled its Orb with moſt un⯑uſual Luſtre, wrapped up in pleaſing Melancholy, Slumber inſenſibly fell up⯑on me, and from thence I dropp'd into a profound Sleep.

How long this ſoft Semblance of Death remained upon me I cannot ſay; but ima⯑gine, Reader, if thou canſt, my Surprize, and let me add ſome Terror alſo, when, upon waking, I found myſelf ſeated in a Kind of Triumphal Car, ſurrounded by a great Number of human Figures, not one of which I had the leaſt Idea of; yet all ſhewing many Marks of Reſpect, and murmuring out an extraordinary Kind of Joy. My Aſtoniſhment being too viſible for Diſguiſe, a Perſon of vene⯑rable Aſpect addreſſed me as follows, moſt profound Attention being given by the ſurrounding Crowd, who ſeemed to have much more Pleaſure in the Prac⯑tice [18] of good Manners, than many of our polite Aſſemblies:

SON of EARTH, ſaid he, fear not, thou art in the Regions of Safety: Tenderneſs and Hoſpitality ever ſmile here: Envy never ſhewed her ſnaky Locks, nor Slan⯑der her envenom'd Tongue, nor Cruelty her blood-ſtain'd Sword, in theſe Realms of ſoft Repoſe; rejoice therefore that thou art ſo highly favoured as to have an Op⯑portunity of gratifying that Curioſity which has ſo long poſſeſſed thee; it was laudably ambitious, and ſtirred up to raiſe thee above the common Race of Men. Receive from me, in Behalf of all preſent, and of a much greater Number whom we repreſent, a zealous and unaf⯑fected Welcome; may every Thing thou meet'ſt, during thy Stay amongſt us, con⯑tribute to thy Information and Pleaſure; it ſhall be our Care to conſult and to [19] [...]romote both: May our Endeavours be [...]ucceſsful to thy Approbation.

Here, turning round, and repeating to [...]e Multitude a few Words which I did [...]ot underſtand, they again made Obei⯑ [...]nce. Having by this Time collected [...]onfidence, I replied,

VENERABLE SAGE, whom yet I know [...]ot either in Perſon or Dignity, how ſhall [...] fitly acknowledge this moſt hoſpitable [...]alutation? How pay the due Reſpect to [...]ch unmerited Kindneſs? Yet let it not [...]and as a Doubt of that Cordiality you [...]ofeſs, to aſk where I am, and by what Means I came hither, both being utterly [...]nknown to me. You, Sir, by your Lan⯑ [...]uage and Appearance, are ENGLISH; yet [...]any I ſee around you ſo different from [...]hat I have ever ſeen before, that I am moſt perſuaded to believe ſome ſuper⯑ [...]tural Means have removed me from [20] my native Land; beſides, however con⯑ſpicuous BRITAIN may be in the Rolls of Fame, the Character you give of this untainted Region far ſurpaſſes her proud⯑eſt Boaſt; wherefore, good Sir, you cannot be diſpleaſed if I inquire where, and among whom I am at preſent pla⯑ced.

Thy Deſire, my Son, returns he, is na⯑tural, and that thou may'ſt not be kep [...] longer in Suſpence, know that what tho [...] haſt ſo long earneſtly wiſhed, is at lengt [...] come to paſs; thou art now within the Limits of th [...] LUNAR WORLD; the im⯑perceptible Method of thy Conveyanc [...] I cannot explain to thy Comprehenſion; let it ſuffice to ſay that ſome Rays of At⯑traction, ſent down from the Mount o [...] Obſervation, a Spot which from Eart [...] appears to be the Noſe of the MAN i [...] the MOON, drew thee from the Plac [...] where thou lay'ſt aſleep; which powerfu [...] [21] Operation was not a little facilitated by [...]ome ſympathetic Pamphlets thou hadſt [...]n thy Pockets, Pieces originally planned [...]n a certain Province of this LUNAR WORLD, and thence inſpired into the [...]oon-ſtruck Authors of them. Upon this [...]nformation examining my Pockets, I [...]ound three of WHITEFIELD'S Sermons, [...]alf a Dozen NORTH-BRITONS, and as [...]any Schemes for paying off the Na⯑ [...]ional Debt, by JACOB HENRIQUES.

At this Point of Time my HOST, as I [...]ay call my ſage Welcomer, directed a [...]ind of Proceſſion, which tho' not grand, [...]or very regular, appeared to be calcula⯑ [...]ed as a high Compliment to me; my [...]ar of State was drawn by ſix Animals, [...]wo of a Sort, with a Youth of about fif⯑ [...]een leading each; they were ELEPHANTS, HORSES, and LIONS, all remarkable in [...]heir Kinds; the ELEPHANTS were of [...]hoſe which ſo remarkably contributed to [22] Victory in a Battle between the ROMANS and PYRRHUS; the Horſes were BUCE⯑PHALUS, and that on which CURTIUS leap'd into the gaping Gulph for the Good of his Country; and as to the LIONS, one of thoſe that let DANIEL paſs unmoleſted, was paired with him that gratefully remembered the Slave who freed his Foot from a tormenting Thorn. Theſe, as well as many extraordinary Creatures of the Human Species, had been tranſlated to the MOON, and are there held in great Regard.

I was ſhaded by a thin ſilken Canopy, held over me with great Exactneſs by ſix EAGLES of the SUN, their Plumes ſhining like his Beams, whoſe Wings kept Pace with the Car, and fanned the Breezes very agreeably around me. A Band of Muſic preceded the Car, not much unlike that Kind of rude Harmony with which we are told the Antients ſaluted the [23] MOON in an Eclipſe, ſuppoſing her to be at that Time in Labour.

As we approached a Gate, which I per⯑ceived led into the City, we ſtopped before a beautiful Arbor, formed by a Circle of moſt pleaſing correſpondent Trees; within this Arbor ſtood a ſmall neat Building, which incloſed a Well call⯑ed the NOTLAM, or SPRING of PURIFI⯑CATION: I was led towards it, being told that I was to undergo a Ceremony neceſ⯑ſary to every Sublunary Being before his Admiſſion into the City.

On each Side the Well ſtood ſix beau⯑tiful Virgins in flowing Robes of Azure, each holding in her Hand ſomething like a Cenſer of tranſparent Chryſtal: On my Entrance one of them, with the moſt courteous Solemnity, ſlowly approached me, and, according to my Conductor's Interpretation, ſpoke thus:

So much of the Ceremony being over, the TWELVE VIRGINS circling round me, dancing all the Time with very odd Ge⯑ſtures, and ſinging a Hymn of Exulta⯑tion, gave me ſo plentiful an Ablution, that I began to be weary. Having finiſh⯑ed [25] theſe Rites, they all proſtrated them⯑ [...]elves before me, and then retired to their [...]laces on each Side the WELL.

Senſible of the Pains they had taken, [...]nd forgetting where I was, I intended to [...]ave made a pecuniary Acknowledge⯑ [...]ent; but my HOST perceiving the De⯑ [...]ign, Hold, SON of EARTH, ſays he, the Works of Religion and Hoſpitality are [...]ot ſold here; nor have we any Coin but [...]ocial Intercourſe and mutual Regard; [...]id I not tell thee we had no Envy or Diſ⯑ [...]ord among us, and after that could'ſt [...]hou imagine any Regard would be paid [...]o ſuch Droſs as Gold? Did we want to [...]troduce Flames among our Fields, [...]earth among our Cattle, Diſſenſions [...]mong our Families, Bloodſhed into our [...]ities, Diſeaſes into our Bodies, and pe⯑ [...]ilential Paſſions into our Minds, that [...]flammatory Traſh would ſoon effect our [...]ational and vicious Purpoſes. Yet, [26] hold, one pleaſing and uſeful Purpoſe the Sight of it may ſerve; lend me what thou haſt, that, diſplaying it to public View, and briefly explaining its pernicious Ef⯑fects, I may render it, if poſſible, ſtill more contemptible and hateful to my Brethren of this World.

Here I gave him my Purſe, from whence taking ſome Pieces of Gold, he held them in each Hand, and addreſſed the Multitude in the following Manner, as he afterwards explained it to me:

Behold, my Friends and Brothers of the ISLAND of NOIBLA, the moſt favour⯑ed Spot of all this LUNAR WORLD, be⯑hold, ye Sons of natural and untainted Liberty, the Fiend who, having got Foot⯑ing on the Terreſtrial Globe, rules every Government, and every Individual, of all Sexes, Ages, and Degrees; for the Sake of Bits like theſe, dug, by half-fed Slaves, [27] out of the Bowels of the Earth, to pam⯑per Pride and Luxury; thouſands and ten Thouſands march into the bloody Field of War, hung round with the moſt deſtructive Weapons of Cruelty, to muti⯑late and butcher their Fellow-Creatures; for theſe their Clergy pray; their Law⯑yers wrangle; their Phyſicians kill: For theſe Fathers and their Sons, Mothers and their Daughters, Brethren and Siſ⯑ters, run into the moſt uncharitable Diſ⯑ſenſions: Gilded with theſe, Vice claims Reſpect, while thread bare Virtue ſtands ſhiv'ring and helpleſs at the unhoſpitable Doors of Luxury and Pride.

For theſe Parents match their Chil⯑dren without the leaſt Regard to mutual Affection; hence ſplendid Miſery glares in ſo many Places, while calm Content flies their mercenary Dwellings.—Would you perſuade; here lies the moſt power⯑ful Eloquence:—Would you prove the [28] Steadineſs of a profeſſing Patriot; here is the Touch-ſtone of intrinſic Worth:—Would you ſmooth the Wrinkles of Age, or proportion and harmonize Deformity; here is the necromantic Beautifier that can work ſuch Miracles; and that too amongſt Animals which boaſt themſelves of Rationality, and yet are ſo wrapp'd up in Infatuation, that, while they moſt cau⯑tiouſly avoid whatever might be hurtful to the Body, devour, with inſatiable and voratious Appetites, this more dangerous Poiſon of the Mind.—Oh Reaſon, where is thy Power? Mount, mount for Shame thy Throne, nor longer abdicate thy Judgment-Seat, leſt uſurping Paſſions create univerſal and incurable Confuſion.

How, how ſhould we rejoice, my Bre⯑thren, that, free from the fatal Influence of this Bane to ſocial Happineſs, no Blood ſtains our Fields; no Fears ſhake our Peace; that Religion is Gratitude, not [29] Intereſt; that Inclination, moderated by Prudence, joins every Couple here; that Sons, when arrived to Diſcretion, enjoy equal Advantages with their Fathers, whom therefore they never wiſh to bury; that ſuch Failings as we have amongſt us cannot either be hid or rendered leſs ſhameful by ſuch Tinſel Covering; that here no Tongue will move, no Virgin yield her Honour for mercenary Bribes! Is not this, my Friends, a copious Field for Exultation? A beautiful and ſolid Ba⯑ſis for juſt Self-eſteem and Congratula⯑tion? Let Avarice glote upon its ſhining Heaps; let Glory nod under her blood⯑ſtained Plumage; let Ambition ſwell with fading Honours, while we, oh NOI⯑BLANS! wiſh no greater Happineſs than an uninterrupted Poſſeſſion of our virtu⯑ous Mediocrity; which we do, and ever muſt, eſteem an inexhauſtible Source of real and invariable Felicity.

[30] This Oration, pronounced with great Senſibility of Expreſſion, harmonious Ca⯑dence of Voice, and much Grace of Ac⯑tion, gained univerſal Applauſe from the Crowd: Nor could it fail, for tho' deli⯑vered to them in a Language which I did not underſtand, yet the Manner of it ſtruck my Attention deeply. Being end⯑ed, we again moved on, and in a few Mi⯑nutes entered the City Gate.

CHAP. III.

HAVING entered the City, we were met by a conſiderable Number of Perſons who joined our Proceſſion, which moved onwards to a ſpacious Square, [31] [...]herein ſtood a very large Building of or⯑ [...]icular Form, into which I was conducted. My HOST was the only one who entered [...]e GREAT Hall with me; when, deſiring [...]e to recline myſelf on a Couch while he [...]ok Place on another, he proceeded [...]us: I doubt not, SON of EARTH, but [...]any Circumſtances you will meet with [...] this ARESAL, or CITY of NODNOL, the [...]APITAL of NOIBLA, will appear pecu⯑ [...]rly ſtrange, perhaps inconſiſtent; but I [...]ll endeavour to explain and reconcile [...]e moſt material as they occur.

This Building we are now in is call'd [...]e REQUECEX, or HOUSE of JUSTICE, [...]ere Law is diſpenſed, and all Matters [...] Debate, which may ariſe in this City, [...] the Diſtrict under its Juriſdiction, are [...]cided; but, that you may better under⯑ [...]nd this Part of the political Conſtitu⯑ [...]n, I muſt ſketch out a general View of [...]e whole.

[32] Know then that this Iſland of NOIBL [...] is divided into one hundred SEITNUOC [...] or Diſtricts, each under a City, and ea [...] City under the Guidance of one Mag [...] ⯑ſtrate, called the NAMREDAL, who ſits o [...] day every TOIRTA, or Week, for adju [...] ⯑ing ſuch Complaints as may come befo [...] him. His Direction is the Body of Law [...] drawn up in a plain conciſe Stile, wit [...] out the Intricacy and Incumbrance [...] multiplied Clauſes, which ſerve only [...] explain away the Senſe, and diminiſh t [...] Force of the original Deſign. If at a [...] Time he ſhould be in Doubt, he [...] Power to ſummon a Council of Citize [...] not exceeding twenty in Number, to [...] ⯑ſiſt him with their Opinions, and, from Decree founded on ſuch Precaution, the [...] is no Appeal; but in Caſe the NAMRED [...] gives Judgment of himſelf, to the D [...] ſatisfaction of any Party, that Party m [...] claim a freſh Trial, and then Arbitrat [...] are fixed on in the following Manne [...]

[33] The Appellant chuſes ten Citizens, and the Judge as many; theſe vote ſix, three on each Side, to determine the Cauſe; if they reverſe the former Decree, and impute it to a mere Error in Judge⯑ment, the NAMREDAL is diſplaced as in⯑capable; but, if they impute it to Parti⯑ality, he is then deprived of all his Rights as a CITIZEN, and baniſhed to the dreary Mountains of NEROMA. This Check upon Magiſterial Authority does not [...]bridge the Power, tho' it prevents Op⯑ [...]reſſion; for the Magiſtrate is not obliged [...]o give his Opinion ſingly, but may ſhel⯑ [...]er himſelf under the Advice of a Coun⯑ [...]il, if he is in Doubt.

Once every RAYAMON, or Year, all the NAMREDALS of the ISLAND meet in this REQUECEX, and conſider the general [...]tate of the Inhabitants; whatever De⯑ [...]ects appear are regulated by them; after [...]hich ſix CITIZENS from each Diſtrict [34] enter into a minute Inquiry of every NAMREDAL'S Adminiſtration during his Year, and as they determine give him an honorary Certificate, or render him inca⯑pable of that Dignity ever after; which indeed is the only Office of Pre-eminence thro' the ISLAND, all other CITIZENS be⯑ing upon an equal Footing. Nor is the Poſt of NAMREDAL in any Shape lucra⯑tive, Honour and Reſpect being the only Reward of his Labour;—he hears with⯑out Penſion, and before him each Indivi⯑dual pleads his own Cauſe without Paſ⯑ſion or Malice; his Judgments are pu [...] in Force, if any Oppoſition ſhould b [...] made, which ſeldom happens, by any Ci⯑tizen he fixes on, who thinks himſelf ho⯑noured, not leſſened, by giving Efficacy to Law. Hence you ſee his Court is no [...] ſcandalized by ſuch blood-ſucking Vul⯑tures as thoſe in your World, who, un⯑der the Appellation of Officers of Juſtice [...] commit the moſt violent Depredation [...] [35] and unheard-of Cruelties upon thoſe un⯑happy Delinquents, who are committed to their mercileſs Talons.

Juſt when my ſage Inſtructor had gone thus far, I was alarmed with the tolling of a very large Bell, which he told me was the ELKNITAN, or BELL of NOON; and then deſired me to look into the Square on every Side, where I perceived a conſiderable Number of young Perſons ſetting out a Kind of Tables. Expreſ⯑ſing a Curioſity to know what could be the Meaning of this Preparation, he told me that the City of NODNOL was divided into twelve SENIRATS, or Wards, in each of which was a RUVENAL, or Square, wherein all the Inhabitants took their SELBATAZA, or Noon-tide Meal toge⯑ther, without Precedence or Diſtinction: This, continues he, creates a general In⯑tercourſe, as they alternately go from one SENIRAT to the other; and as each [36] Perſon contributes proportionably to the general Stock, conſtitutional Equality and a Sufficiency are thus daily renewed and ſupported.

By this Time, again looking into the RUVENAL, I ſaw a prodigious Number of Perſons, Men on one Side and Women on the other, ſet down to a pleaſing Vari⯑ety of Fruits and Herbage, diſpoſed with much Taſte and Neatneſs; behind ſtood Boys and Girls all cloathed in Green, (a Colour which the Youth wear till they are married) with ſmall Veſſels of Liquid, and ſome other Materials, which I could not diſtinguiſh; theſe he told me were the Children of thoſe who ſat at the Tables, who, from the Age of twelve to twenty, act as public Servitors, not only to create Reſpect for their Parents, but for all thoſe of ſuperior Years.

Here I inquired, if all preſent were married, what became of thoſe who were [37] ſingle; to which he anſwered, That Per⯑ſons in a State of Celibacy were not al⯑lowed the Honour of ſitting in the RU⯑VENAL, but remained in their own Habi⯑tations, as do alſo thoſe married Couples who are not bleſſed with any Children.

You obſerve, ſays he, no ſuperfluous Luxury in that Repaſt; no Food for Sickneſs; every third Day Fleſh-Meat is allowed, but in a ſmall, limited Quanti⯑ty; nor are there any high Sauces to flat⯑ter palled Appetites; all plain nutritious Aliment; hence, among NOIBLANS, no Fevers ſend the Blood boiling thro' their Veins; no Palſies ſhake their Nerves; no Rheumatiſms cramp their Bones; but, free from Diſorder, by the gradual and in⯑evitable Decays of Age alone, they drop into the Grave ſpontaneouſly, as it were, like mellow Fruit, without Fear and with⯑out Pain. Nor is this Regularity, this healthful Simplicity, all; ſtated Times [38] of going to Bed and riſing, which are ſig⯑nified by Toll of Bell thro' the ISLAND, largely contribute to theſe ſalutary Ef⯑fects.

How different this from the Practice in your World, where Nature's Profuſions are exhauſted to pamper Luxury under the fallacious Title of Taſte; where every Seaſon, every Climate, every Stream, and every Ocean, is ranſacked for the endleſs Cravings of reſtleſs Mortals; where one Half reſt by Day, the other by Night; where Multitudes ſcarce ever ſee that glorious Luminary the Sun, but deſtroy their Time and Conſtitutions by the Light of artificial Glimmerings, fit only to delude Moths and Birds of Night.

Exerciſe and Labour alſo contribute much to preſerve and invigorate the NOI⯑BLANS; no Perſon is exempt from either [...] and the Maſter of every Family is oblige [...] [39] to give in a weekly Account how the ſeve⯑ral Members of it have been employed; if not to the greateſt public Advantage, he is cenſured as having failed in his Duty, and an additional Taſk is allotted for the enſuing Week; nor can a falla⯑cious Account be rendered, as all Tranſ⯑actions here are ſo open, that the leaſt Miſrepreſentation muſt be detected, than which nothing can be more ſhameful.

To all this, continues he, I doubt not you would ſay that there is pretty Specu⯑lation, ſomething well imagined in ſuch a Plan of Policy; but then how can it be reduced to Practice, without more for⯑cible, nay, more terrifying Reſtrictions than any yet mentioned?

The Reply to this plauſible Objection, which I have ſtated in order to your fur⯑ther Satisfaction and Information, is ob⯑vious, conciſe, clear, and concluſive; our [40] Method of treating Children here is ſo dif⯑ferent from that in your World, that the Paſſions, tho' the ſame in Nature, are ſo corrected as to become Sparks to animate Virtue, not Flames to deſtroy it.

To effect this moſt deſirable Purpoſe, every Child, a few Days after its Birth, is taken from the Mother, and given to the Care of ſome other Woman, who may, by corrective, conſtitutional Quali⯑fications, alter the Child's natural De⯑fects; if he is born of a Mother cold and phlegmatic in her Diſpoſition, he is put to one of a ſanguine Habit; and thus the Contraſt is obſerved in other Caſes, ſo that a due Temparament is formed from the earlieſt.

The next Point of Care is not to in⯑dulge any perverſe Humours, but, from the Moment an Infant is capable of Di⯑ſtinction, to check, by Means propor⯑tioned [41] to its Feelings, every irregular, ſuperfluous Craving; hence that Unto⯑wardneſs of Temper ſo common amongſt Youth, is timely ſuppreſſed; hence are they relieved from the innumerable Cares, the endleſs ſelf-created Wants, which miſapplied Indulgence gives Birth to.—How groſly then are they miſtaken, who call it Cruelty to curb tender Years? when nothing is more certain than that one Deſire granted creates another, till the unhappy Favourite grows thoroughly miſerable either by having no more to aſk, or by wiſhing for ſomewhat beyond his Reach. From this Error in Parents or Guardians, ariſes the diſagreeable Ne⯑ceſſity of corporal Puniſhment, which is ſo oddly adminiſtered by ſome, that thro' Paſſion, not Judgment, they correct, and thro' fooliſh Tenderneſs, not prudential Regard, the very next Moment they ca⯑reſs and ſooth the Child into a Forgetful⯑neſs of its own Fault and their Corrrec⯑tion. [42] The Abſurdity of ſuch Conduct needs no Comment; be it enough then to re⯑mark, that, to thoſe who are uſed to obey a Word, a Word will ſerve; and how eaſy, how natural muſt it be for them whoſe Appetites are kept within Bounds, even without the Aſſiſtance of Reaſon, to tem⯑per their Paſſions when they have not only that ſafe Guide, but Experience alſo to aſſiſt them?

At ſtated Times Youth are ſent to the SNOISSAPANS, or PUBLIC SCHOOLS; which, like all other Employments, are filled up without Reward, except in Ex⯑emption from other Offices and Avoca⯑tions, which is a Privilege every Profeſ⯑ſion alſo enjoys, ſo that each Perſon knows the Sphere he is to move in, and is ſolely anſwerable for his Conduct in it.

At theſe SNOISSAPANS the NOIC⯑TOCS, or Maſters, inſtruct their Pupils in the Principles of Morality, the Tenets of [43] Religion, ſocial Duties, and the Laws of the ISLAND: By the three firſt Branches each Individual learns how to conduct himſelf in a private and ſocial, and, by the laſt, in a political Capacity; from this Method he becomes his own Divine, his own Lawyer, his own Magiſtrate. Having no Commerce with any other Country, or amongſt ourſelves, the Arts of Trade, and conſequently Fraud, are unknown with us; as to what are called in your World polite Accompliſhments, they are looked upon to be uſeleſs, or ra⯑ther pernicious Superfluities, ſince they not only engroſs much Time, but alſo afford great Occaſion to Vanity.

Our Females are alſo ſent to public Seminaries, and early taught to know and practiſe thoſe Branches of Employ⯑ment which ſuit their tender Sex; they are carefully informed of the ſeveral Du⯑ties which will be expected from them [44] when they enter the Marriage State; they are inſtructed to deſpiſe Spirit with⯑out Conduct, Wit without Prudence, and Beauty without Virtue; they are alſo taught to believe that Complaiſance, Af⯑fection, and Induſtry, are eſſential to her that would obtain the amiable and exalt⯑ed Character of a GOOD WIFE; they are taught, for the PUBLIC GOOD, to reſign their Children to the Care of others with⯑out Reluctance, and to treat thoſe which are committed to their Charge with all fit Attention and Tenderneſs; for every Woman here, when her Condition an⯑ſwers and Occaſion requires, is, by the Law, a Nurſe to the Public; by which Inſtitution there is a Kind of relative Fondneſs diffuſed thro' Society; for, as it often happens, one Woman may nurſe for a Dozen or more Families, which unites her intimately to them; at the ſame Time that thoſe, who do the ſame endearing Office for her, are joined in the [45] Knot of Friendſhip: Thus a Kind of con⯑ [...]ective Chain unites all the Inhabitants of NOIBLA.

Here I thanked my very kind Inſtruc⯑ [...]or for explaining to me, in ſo conciſe and [...]lear a Manner, Points of ſuch Novelty [...]nd good Senſe; at the ſame Time re⯑queſting that, ſince we had gone thus far, [...]e would inform me how their Marriages were negotiated, which Deſire he obli⯑gingly complied with.

No Male, ſays he, is married till he is [...]ull twenty-one Years of Age, nor Fe⯑male till ſhe is nineteen; from thoſe Pe⯑ [...]iods till the former reaches thirty-ſix, [...]nd the latter thirty, they unite them⯑ [...]elves as proves agreeable; but, if they [...]xceed the ſtated Time in Celibacy, they [...]re baniſhed as unworthy and unprofit⯑ [...]ble Members of Society, the Men to [...]he Mountains of NEROMA, and the Wo⯑men [46] to the Country of OMYRCHAL, or the VALLEY of WEEPING.

When a Man looks upon a Female, who muſt be at leaſt five and not more than ten Years under his Age, he is, when the firſt Opportunity offers, to make his Regard known with plain unadorned Sincerity; he is not, by any Degree of Flattery ever ſo diſtant or de⯑licate, to warp her Judgment, nor, by any Preſents, to bribe her Inclination: If ſhe is free from the Sollicitation of any other, ſhe may give him all modeſt En⯑couragement; or, on the contrary, if ſhe happens to be engaged in any previous Treaty, ſhe is, without Reſerve, to let him know it, in which Caſe he muſt im⯑mediately deſiſt; but if ſhe ſhould en⯑deavour to keep him in Suſpence, and extend her Converſation to others at the ſame Time, when it comes to be known all the Parties ſhe has encouraged have [47] an equal Right to demand her; nor can ſhe be married to any one, unleſs all the reſt renounce their Claim.

This makes Females cautious how they commence Coquettes, and frees diſinte⯑reſted Love from the painful Anxieties of Suſpence. On the other Side, if a Man addreſſes a Female, and afterwards de⯑clines to marry her, he is baniſhed; and any Couple who chance to be convicted of cohabiting before Marriage, are not only rendered incapable of ever marry⯑ing, but are alſo publickly ſtigmatized, which prevents ill-deſigning Men from making, or weak Women from belie⯑ving, any Promiſes tending to the Diſ⯑grace of one, and the Ruin of the other.

If a Couple are agreeable to each other, and none of the above-mentioned Impe⯑diments keep them aſunder, the Man firſt, in Point of Reſpect, mentions it to his [48] own Parents, and then to the Woman's; both Sides, as mutual conſent is all that is required, meet and give their Appro⯑bation; at which Time they reciprocally queſtion each other concerning the Diſ⯑poſitions of their Children, conjuring that no Failing of Body or Mind, which they have any Knowledge of, may be concealed. The Declaration being made before the young Couple, they are ſeve⯑rally aſked if any Objection ariſes from what they have heard; if not, the Bride's Father appoints the Day of Solemniza⯑tion, upon the Morning of which the Parties repair to the NOTLAM, where they are queſtioned by the Virgins, whe⯑ther they come there actuated by a pure and undefiled Love, not thro' the im⯑pulſe of irregular Paſſions: If a ſin⯑cere Deſire of invariable Conſtancy, if a Deſign to promote each other's Happi⯑neſs, and a Reſolution jointly to cultivate the PUBLIC GOOD, be their real Motives [49] for coming thither; which Queſtions be⯑ing anſwered by them in the Affirmative, they are placed on their Knees, are each ſprinkled thrice, and vow by the Waters of that HOLY SPRING, to keep the cor⯑dial Affection they have profeſſed in⯑violate; then the BRIDE preſents a tranſ⯑parent Stone, cut in Form of a Heart, to one of the VIRGINS, that ſhe may deli⯑ver it to the Bridegroom, who returns a counter Part, and then, laying his Hand upon the BRIDE'S Head, ſays,—In Judge⯑ment let me rule;—ſhe, preſſing her Hand upon his Left Breaſt, replies,—And in Love let me prevail.—Here a VIRGIN, again ſprinkling them, ſays,—May Ferti⯑lity make you honourable, and pious Children make you glad Parents.

So ends the Ceremony; they are then conducted back to the Bridegroom's Fa⯑ther's, where a neat moderate Entertain⯑ment is provided; after which they retire [50] to a lonely but moſt pleaſant rural Spot, called ZAMELA, or the PLAIN of MO⯑DESTY, about ten SILCARS, or Miles, from the City, and there live two REA⯑PANS, or Months, in Privacy; it being deemed inconſiſtent, with juſt Reſerve, for a Female to appear publickly in leſs Time after ſo ſerious and important a Change of Condition.

As Intereſt and the Influence of Parents have no Concern in theſe Marriages, it is no Matter of Surprize to find them hap⯑py; beſides, as it would be impoſſible, from the Method of living all over NOI⯑BLA, to conceal any Coldneſs or Diſagree⯑ment, either of which renders the Parties highly contemptible to Society, if Love, by any extraordinary Chance, ſhould fail, the Fear of Reproach keeps up at leaſt an apparent Cordiality and Decency, which prevents the bad Influence of their Ex⯑ample, and reſtrains them from ſuch ir⯑rational [51] and unnatural Extremities of [...]omeſtic Warfare, as you have ſeen among [...]any Couples in your World.

Struck with the Eaſe, Simplicity, and [...]ropriety of theſe Cuſtoms, I could not [...]elp breaking out into a Kind of extatic [...]pprobation; happy, thrice happy NOI⯑ [...]ANS, ſaid I, on whom Happineſs ſheds [...]er kindeſt Influence, how muſt I feel, in [...]comparative View, for my Brothers of [...]e Terreſtrial Globe, whoſe Inclinations, [...]evices, and Purſuits, are almoſt at con⯑ [...]ual Variance with Content; who live [...] if they were merely framed to torment [...]emſelves, or could find their own Re⯑ [...]ſe only in diſturbing Society; born [...]th perplexing Appetites, nurſed into [...]rannical Paſſions, and ripening by con⯑ [...]med Years in Diſquiet; while Reaſon, [...]thron'd and enſlav'd, becomes a baſe [...]ocurer to the debauch'd Imagination, [...]d ſervilely miniſters where it ſhould [...]mmand.

[52] Here the great Bell again tolling in⯑terrupted my Reflection, and a Train of Remarks we ſhould poſſibly have made on this Subject.

CHAP. IV.

THE NAMREDAL, for ſuch I foun [...] my kind Inſtructor to be, here re⯑marked that I ſhould ſhortly ſee the high⯑eſt Mark of Diſtinction that is ever pai [...] in NOIBLA; for, ſays he, the Chief Ma⯑giſtrate, to ſupport Dignity and gain In⯑fluence, dines alone in this Hall, and [...] attended by a certain Number of Ci [...] ⯑zens, who pay the Compliment in ſu [...] [53] Rotation, that each appears in that Sta⯑ [...]ion once a Year.

Here, being informed that Dinner was [...]pproaching, we retir'd into a neighbour⯑ [...]ng Chamber till the Proviſion was diſ⯑ [...]oſed according to Cuſtom; which done, [...]e return'd, and found a large Table ſup⯑ [...]lied with very elegant Simplicity; a Number of reſpectable Perſons appeared [...] Waiting on each Side, who all, tho' [...]erſonally and intimately acquainted with [...]he Chief Magiſtrate, paid as diſtant and [...]umble a Reſpect, as if they had been no [...]ore than hired Servants. Not being [...]ſed to a Circumſtance of this Kind, I [...]as in ſome Degree of Confuſion at the [...]xtraordinary Honour offered me of ſit⯑ [...]ng at the Table; which the NAMREDAL [...]erceiving, he gently rebuked my Diffi⯑ [...]ence, and placed me near himſelf. Im⯑ [...]ediately after this a venerable Perſon, [...]oathed in a long flame-colour'd Gar⯑ment, [54] whom I found to be an AVOZE [...] or Prieſt, with very awful and emphati [...] Deliberation, ſpoke theſe Words:

Perceiving ſome Diſhes prepared in o [...] Manner, and juſtly imagining they we [...] deſigned for me, I help'd myſelf witho [...] Reſerve, while the NAMREDAL confin [...] himſelf to a Sort of Pulſe and Vegetable [...] mingled ſomewhat in the Manner of o [...] Sallads, and moiſtened with an aroma [...] Liquid, called AZONIA. During t [...] Time of Dinner not a Word was uttere [...] it being held indecent by the NOIBLA [...] [55] to converſe at Meal-Times, till Thanks are rendered, and they have rinſed their Mouths thrice with Water from the NOT⯑LAM.

Having given a Sign that our Appe⯑tites were ſatisfied, the Table was unco⯑vered with the greateſt Regularity and Expedition imaginable; when a Deſert of various Fruits appeared, ſeveral of which I taſted, and found them to the Palate as much ſuperior in Richneſs and Flavour, as to the Sight they appeared more tempting than any which grow in our ſub⯑lunary Sphere. At the ſame Time there was placed before us two Chryſtal Veſſels, in Form of wreathed Snakes, containing a Fluid of the pureſt Green I ever ſaw, and fermenting with yellow Sparkles, which appeared at firſt ſo like the ſhining of a Serpent's ſcaly Skin, that I was ra⯑ther ſtartled; but ſeeing the NAMREDAL put his own Mouth to his, placing his [56] Hand to his Breaſt, and bowing reſpect⯑fully round, I did the ſame; at which all in Waiting ſet their Left Knees on the Ground, and, leaning their Foreheads on their folded Hands, remained ſo till the NAMREDAL had finiſhed his Draught; when inſtantly a numerous Band of Mu⯑ſic gave Voice to their Inſtruments, and play'd about five Minutes, during which the AVOZEN preſented us with Water; and, having purified ourſelves, he with his Right Hand on the NAMREDAL'S Head, and his Left upon mine, ſpoke to the following Effect:

This Ceremony being concluded, the AVOZEN and all the attending Citizens retired. Being once more by ourſelves, the NAMREDAL reſumed Converſation as follows:

Brother of the nether Globe, it is now Time I ſhould let you know ſome Parti⯑culars, which have at leaſt Novelty to re⯑commend [58] commend them to your Attention: Know then that I was once an Inhabitant of Earth, of that Part of it too which you come from, and I doubt not but my Name is familiar to you, few Perſons ha⯑ving made a greater Noiſe in the Field of Speculation than Biſhop WILKINS: Rouſed by the Name, I begged Leave, if not inconſiſtent with his preſent Dig⯑nity, to embrace him as a near Relation of the LUNATIC Family; which Requeſt he moſt kindly admitted, and declared himſelf doubly happy in finding not only a Countryman in me but a Kinſman alſo.

Tho' to all Appearance I died, conti⯑nued he, and was laid in Earth with the uſual Solemnity, yet the ſtrict, unweari⯑ed Attention I had paid to the LUNAR WORLD, obtained me a Tranſlation to this happy Spot, where I have continued ever ſince in Eaſe and Reſpect, without a Wiſh to gratify, a Fear to perplex, or [59] any viſible Decay. How long I may be permitted to remain, is juſt as doubtful as my Exiſtence in the other World was, becauſe it is ſelf-evident that all Beings are in a continual State of Rotation, till a general Conſummation of the vaſt and impenetrable Scheme of Creation diſ⯑ſolves all periſhable Matter, and unites the whole in one wide Field of incorrup⯑tible Felicity.

Here my Curioſity led me to inquire if there were any more earthly Inhabi⯑tants, or if he alone was thus highly fa⯑voured: To which he replied, that there were great Numbers ſcatter'd thro' the MOON, and that NOIBLA had a conſide⯑rable Share. Moſt Men, ſays he, remark⯑able for either GOOD or EVIL, are tranſla⯑ted to ſome Part of the LUNAR REGIONS, as Natives of this World alſo are, in Re⯑turn, occaſionally transferred to yours.

[60] I ſhall mention a few of thoſe at pre⯑ſent in NODNOL, beginning with ALEX⯑ANDER and DARIUS; who, barring ſome occaſional Debates upon their former Quarrels, now live in a State of the moſt perfect Friendſhip. CAESAR and POM⯑PEY alſo live together here upon much the ſame Terms; CATO too appears amongſt us, but retains ſo much of ſel⯑fiſh Pride and Stoiciſm, that he has very little Communion with others; like them, however, he is obliged to comply with the Laws of Equality preſcribed here, where there is no Diſtinction, and only indulges his Pride in private.

Thoſe Perſonages, you will allow, who ſought after unreaſonable Pre-eminence over their Fellow-Creatures in a State of former Exiſtence, are juſtly excluded from Naturalization and the Dignity of Magiſtracy in NOIBLA. BRUTUS, but for his Ingratitude to his warmeſt Friend [61] and reputed Father, would have been here, and well received; however, as that is deemed the deepeſt Stain upon the hu⯑man heart, he was excluded from this mild Region, and doom'd to the poor and turbulent Country of ERISHNOVER, or MOUNTAINS of BLOOD, where his gentle, humane, philoſophic Diſpoſition renders him contemptible to others, and painful to himſelf.

We have PETER the GREAT of MUS⯑COVY, and the TWELFTH CHARLES of SWEDEN; HENRY the EIGHTH, Queen ELIZABETH, OLIVER CROMWELL, and CHARLES the SECOND of ENGLAND: LEWIS the FOURTEENTH of FRANCE, Cardinal WOLSEY, CECIL Lord BUR⯑LEIGH, and many others which it would be too tedious to mention.

Taking Occaſion to remark that, a⯑mong the Perſonages named, there was [62] a great Variety of Characters, and deſiring to know with what Propriety they could be ſent to the ſame Spot, the NAMREDAL ſatisfied me as follows:

The ſeveral Perſons ſpoken of, ſays he, retain a conſiderable Share of thoſe Paſſions which prevailed in them on Earth; and, according as they were meritorious or culpable, are puniſhed or rewarded here; not by corporal or exter⯑nal Recompences, but by the Pleaſures and Pains of the Mind, which they expe⯑rience in a moſt ſenſible Degree; a Per⯑fection which I take to be in great Mea⯑ſure derived, on the one Hand, from a comparative View of that unchanging Se⯑renity they ſee conſtantly around them, yet cannot themſelves enjoy; or, on the other Hand, from a conſcious Rectitude, which makes them Partakers in that Tranquillity.

[63] That you may the better underſtand me, and more clearly conceive how ge⯑nerally and impartially Juſtice is admini⯑ſter'd thro' the Univerſe, I will ſketch out the ſeveral Characters.

ALEXANDER the GREAT, and CHARLES the TWELFTH, his mad Admirer, were, as Hiſtory has informed you, rapacious and unbounded in their Ambition; an enthuſiaſtic Devotion to the Phantom or Shade of Glory, for the Subſtance can ne⯑ver be gained by lawleſs Principles, had extinguiſhed every Spark of general Hu⯑manity in the Breaſts of theſe Royal Plun⯑derers; like Peſtilence and Famine they waked but to deſtroy; like Earthquakes they ſhook and ſwallowed up whole Na⯑tions; pale Deſolation, with the red Right Arm of War, bore their Standards; inſa⯑tiate Death nodded in grim Smiles upon their Helmets; and the devouring Grave yawned wide in all their Councils; in vain [64] the Groans of Widows, the Cries of Or⯑phans, and the Wreck of Kingdoms, ſtruck their Eyes and Ears; fortified, the one by his Ambition, the other by his Cruelty, againſt all humane and tender Sentiments, they ran the Race of Deſtruc⯑tion, till at laſt they themſelves fell Sacri⯑fices to the Violence and Inconſiſtency of their Natures; at which Period they were tranſlated hither, with what Fitneſs you ſhall judge.

As a Thirſt of unlimited Power was the ruling Principle of their Lives; as Turbulence and the Diſtreſſes of Multi⯑tudes were their chief Enjoyments, they have been ſentenced to this Region of Peace; wherein, retaining their former ra⯑pacious Inclinations, they are tormented with a conſtant Deſire of Rule and Pre⯑cedency, which they can by no Means obtain; and labour under hourly Diſap⯑pointments of thoſe Plans they are con⯑ſtantly [65] framing to kindle Diſcord and create Confuſion: Beſides which, ALEX⯑ANDER'S Pride has the Mortification of being obliged, once each Week, to at⯑tend upon DARIUS as a menial Servitor; however, on Account of his generous and delicate Behaviour to the Females of that Monarch's Family, this Part of his painful Situation is rendered as eaſy as poſſible, while the hot-brained CHARLES is doomed to a daily unremitted Attend⯑ance upon the Czar PETER; which mag⯑nanimous Monarch, in return of his un⯑wearied Attention and patriot Care to the Improvement of ſo great and uncultiva⯑ted an Empire as he reigned over, not only enjoys every Privilege of a natural⯑born NOIBLAN, but, ſince his Arrival here, has alſo been three Times choſen NAMREDAL of this City by general Suf⯑frage, and has as often been rewarded, for his worthy Exerciſe of that Office, with the moſt unlimited Approbation.

[66] CAESAR, as a generous, humane Con⯑queror, of an open, confident, and un⯑ſuſpicious Nature, who being above Treachery himſelf ſaw it not in others, is held in conſiderable Eſteem; but as he was the chief Cauſe of reducing his Country firſt under dictatorial and after⯑wards under imperial Power, he is not allowed to rank as a CITIZEN; yet his firſt Steps proceeding rather from the Principle of Self-defence than of Ambi⯑tion, he is as much indulged as poſſible; while his Antagoniſt POMPEY, whoſe ſel⯑fiſh, ſtubborn Pride was the Cauſe of ſubverting that LIBERTY he pretended to ſupport, is placed in a much inferior Station, entirely dependent upon CAE⯑SAR'S Interpoſition for any Advantage he may deſire: As to CATO, he paſſes his Time in a Kind of contemptible Solitude, branded with the indelible Stigma of ha⯑ving fled like a Coward from his Coun⯑try when ſhe moſt needed his Help, by [67] an unjuſtifiable and ignominious Suicide; a Step ſo mean and culpable, that, were it not for the Counterbalance of many private Virtues he poſſeſſed, his Doom would have been much more ſevere. I had almoſt forgot to tell you that MARC ANTONY is here, as fond of Gaiety as ever; but labours under the Inconveni⯑ence of being obliged to wear a Moppet hung round his Neck, as a Mark of his Folly in loſing the World for a worthleſs Woman.

HENRY the EIGHTH has brought with him hither all his Spirit of RELI⯑GIOUS REFORMATION; it ſtill remains ſo active and impetuous, that he never lets our AVOZENS alone; who hear him in⯑deed, but as often laugh at the vain Ef⯑forts of Innovation, to the no ſmall Mor⯑tification of his Pride: He is alſo equally amorous, without being able to gain the Eſteem of any one Female, or any Reply to his Addreſſes, except the Recapitula⯑tion [68] of his Behaviour to thoſe Wives whom he treated with ſo much Cruelty on Earth: Beſides which, that he may be the better known and more deſpiſed, he is once a Month carried thro' the City, at certain Parts whereof the following No⯑tification is ſet forth:

His Daughter ELIZABETH, for many great and eminent Qualities, is allowed Precedence of all Females in NODNOL and would have been once choſen to the Magiſtracy; but the Caprice of having [69] ſacrificed a Favourite to ill-grounded Re⯑ſentment or Jealouſy, and the Cruelty of having even agreed to the Execution of ſo amiable a Princeſs as her Siſter of SCOTLAND, were univerſally allowed to be ſuch Blemiſhes in Character as render⯑ed her unfit for the Dignity ſhe ſollicited. This Diſappointment ſo rankles in her Breaſt, that ſhe is often heard to ſigh deeply, and to exclaim, Oh ESSEX! Oh MARY! not content with having fix'd a dead and painful Load upon my Heart while in the lower World, do you purſue and haunt me here to imbitter the Happineſs, diſturb the Peace, and prevent the Honour I might enjoy? Muſt your Blood ſtain and cloud my Character? Muſt your Groans ſilence the Voice of Fame? Thus does ſhe often be⯑wail herſelf: So deep, ſo laſting, and ſo powerful are the Stings of Conſcience; which, far outſtretching the Wounds of human Weapons, prolong their Pains to immortality.

[70] OLIVER CROMWELL, who next appears in View, ever ſince his Arrival had been endeavouring to obtain the Naturaliza⯑tion and Government of the City; full of the ſame Hypocriſy which led him to the PROTECTORSHIP of ENGLAND; Ma⯑ſter of the ſame inſinuating Arts of Popu⯑larity, he had endeavour'd to recommend himſelf as an implicit, ſtrict, and zealous Admirer of the Laws, both Religious and Political. Under this agreeable Sem⯑blance many began to look on him with a favourable Eye, eſpecially as he had in a moſt plauſible Manner painted himſelf as the Aſſertor of LIBERTY; and to the Charge of having been a Regicide, offer⯑ed the following Vindication:

Already prepared as they were, [...]s Harangue conſiderably prejudiced the CITIZENS in his Favour, when CHARLES [...]he SECOND produced a Paper, which CROMWELL could not deny to be his Hand-Writing, containing a Scheme for [...]ringing the ISLAND of NOIBLA under [...]onarchical Government. This raiſed ſo [...]uch Indignation againſt him, that he [...]as immediately appointed to the ſervile [...]ffice of SOLARMAN, or COMMON CRY⯑ [...]R, which he fills up with infinite Diſ⯑ [...]uſt.

[76] The SECOND CHARLES, who, in his terreſtrial State, was remarkable for no⯑thing but Libertiniſm, and a Diſregard of Religion, is, in Return, chained, as I may ſay, to the painful Office of RA⯑NEVER in one of our TEMPLES, a Place ſomewhat ſimilar to that of a VERGER; by which he is obliged to attend Devo⯑tion at leaſt four Times each Day, and is alſo totally debarred from the Converſe of Women, for whom he has as great a Paſſion as formerly when he was King.

There is not a Perſonage in NOIBLA that is in a more painful or ridiculous Si⯑tuation than LEWIS the FOURTEENTH of FRANCE; Oſtentation having been his Idol, he is reduced to a more obſcure and penurious Appearance than any other in NOIBLA, under which he labours to main⯑tain all his former Dignity; but having no Sycophants near to blazon his Praiſe, he writes miſerable Sonnets upon himſelf; [77] goes about building Things he calls tri⯑umphal Arches, and Memorials of Vic⯑ [...]ories; while CAESAR, in PARTICULAR, [...]aughs at his Folly, and ALEXANDER fol⯑ [...]owing, kicks down the frail Baby-houſes of his Pride as faſt as he raiſes them; but his heavieſt Grievance is, that among the numberleſs Relations he makes of his own and the French Greatneſs, not one meets with Credit; it being well known that while a King, Truth and Faith were two Points he never regarded, when Pride and Ambition came into the oppoſite Scale.

WOLSEY, that puffed-up Muſhroom of Fortune, in Return of his moſt exorbitant Inſolence, is here reduced to the Office of keeping the RUVENAL; that is, ſweep⯑ing it every Day, and tolling the ELKNI⯑TAN before the Citizens dine.

[78] BURLEIGH, as a faithful Miniſter, who conſulted and held an exact Equilibrium between the Dignity of his Royal Miſtreſs and the Liberty of his Countrymen, i [...] naturalized, and generally makes one o [...] the Council that are choſen to aſſiſt th [...] NAMREDAL, upon dubious or intricat [...] Occaſions.

Thus I have ſketched out ſome of th [...] many remarkable Perſonages which a [...] in this Capital; and I am perſuaded thei [...] ſeveral Deſtinations will be thought juſt [...]

Here I expreſſed great Pleaſure an [...] Gratitude to the NAMREDAL upon thi [...] Relation, and begged Leave to aſk hi [...] concerning ſome Perſons who occured t [...] my Recollection; he kindly deſiring m [...] to give full Scope to my Curioſity, I pro⯑ceeded, and he replied, as will be foun [...] in the following Chapter.

CHAP. V.

YOU aſk me, ſays the NAMREDAL, if none of the Tribe of AUTHORS have gained Admittance here?—Yes.—Many. For Genius is highly admired, Laudatur et Alget is not the Caſe in NOI⯑BLA; their Poſſeſſions are equal to any CITIZEN'S; wherefore, not having Pover⯑ty to chill, nor Perplexity to trammel it, Fancy takes a full, unbounded Scope; and as all write for Praiſe, none for Hire, the Quality, and not the Quantity of Things written is regarded; this prevents the Subject from being ſoon thread-bare, and relieves the AUTHOR from the diſ⯑agreeable Neceſſity of being, like a Poſt-Horſe, [80] obliged to drudge to a particular Spot, wearied or not.

Every Writer being at full Liberty to chuſe his Subject, and not at all depend⯑ing upon the Sale of his Book, is free from any Obligation of flattering popular Paſſions; he thinks according to his Judg⯑ment, and honeſtly writes as he thinks; he need not, for the Support of Nature, ſcatter infectious Sentiments among the People, to the great Prejudice of Mora⯑lity, as was remarkably the Caſe upon Earth when I was there. Anſwer me, Have you not ſtill the Vermin amongſt you who produce, and worſe Vermin who love to feaſt upon, ſuch poiſonous Mate⯑rials?

Yes, venerable Sir, ſays I, we certainly have, tho', to the Praiſe of ENGLAND be it ſpoken, VIRTUE was never more ſel⯑dom put to the Bluſh than at preſent. [81] Our AUTHORS, for the moſt Part, want Fancy, but their Sentiments are chaſte; nor do I think this Merit owing to their Integrity, ſo much as to the Public Opi⯑nion, which happily rejects and ſeverely condemns licentious Productions, I mean in the Works of mere Entertainment: Indeed, as to RELIGION and POLITICS, tho' we have leſs to complain of, and more to admire in both than any other Nation, yet they are in general treated with great Freedom, and ſometimes with much Scurrility, under the ſpecious Veil of LIBERTY; a Word more admired, more uſed, and more abuſed in BRITAIN, than in any Part of the Globe beſides: However, as thoſe Convulſions which ſometimes take Place in the general Con⯑ſtitution of Nature, ſuch as Tempeſts, Earthquakes, &c. ſtrengthen and pre⯑ſerve the whole, tho' they create Fear and ſpread Deſtruction in particular Spots; ſo watchful and turbulent Spirits [82] are eſſential to a Free State, to intimidate and detect bad Stateſmen, who may be crawling, with the ſlow and ſubtle Steps of Snake-like Policy, to unwarrantable Lengths. But it may be ſaid thoſe loud⯑tongued Guardians of Freedom are for the moſt Part deſigning Men, of venal Diſpoſitions; no Matter what their Views may be, if they ſet forth ſeaſonable Truths;—as to the Inconvenience real Patriots may labour under from ground⯑leſs and malicious Cenſure; it is an una⯑voidable Tax upon Office, yet of trifling Importance; like the Babbling of an un⯑ſtaunch Hound, it may cauſe the Pack to open, but it cannot lead them far up⯑on a falſe Scent; and however ſtrong the Web of Deceit may be wrought, Facts are too ſtubborn to be confined by it. Hence the LIBERTY of the PRESS, how⯑ever it may be abuſed, (and no human In⯑ſtitution is perfect) ought to be moſt care⯑fully preſerved, as an unreſerved Monitor [83] to KING, STATESMEN, and PEOPLE: Hence it is that BRITISH MONARCHS, if they will but read, have an Advantage above all others in regard of popular Grievances; and hence is it alſo that STATESMEN may be corrected in their Blunders, or chaſtiſed for their Villany. Conſcious Honeſty, founded on a Rock, [...]an weather the fierceſt Gales of Fac⯑ [...]on; and I believe it is an irrefragable Truth, that of all the Revolutions which [...]ave taken Place among civilized Go⯑ [...]ernments, there is ſcarce one to be pro⯑ [...]uced, however wantonly it might be [...]arried on, but what was originally found⯑ [...] on Right. If an Adminiſtration, thro' [...]bſtinacy or ill Deſigns, will not hear and [...]dreſs the Grievances of a People, 'tis [...]t at all ſurprizing that the many-head⯑ [...] Monſter, once enraged and broken [...]ſe, ſhould ſubvert all Order, tread up⯑ [...] all Law, and mark its ruinous Steps [...]th Blood.

[84] Moſt Nations, Free ones eſpecially ſhould be dealt with like a ſpirited Horſe whom a judicious Rider will keep ſteady by maintaining an exact Balance in hi [...] Seat, ſhewing neither Fear nor Cruelty [...] occaſionally giving and checking th [...] Rein, while he prudently and reſolute [...] corrects with the Spur, or kindly bla [...] diſhes with his Hand.

Your Obſervations, my dear Country⯑man, ſays the NAMREDAL, are perfect juſt, and may the great Barrier of Fre [...] ⯑dom you have mentioned guard BRITA [...] to the End of Time; may no Pretext [...] inſulted Dignity, no Artifice of Pow [...] ever circumſcribe its Liberties.—H [...] do I rejoice to hear that Modeſty fin [...] public Protection; this is indeed a g [...] ⯑rious and eſſential Limitation; [...] what am I to think of thoſe Atta [...] ſometimes groſs ones you ſay, which [...] made up [...] Religion? Do they not [...] ⯑pear [85] of a moſt irrational, pernicious, and criminal Nature? Does not the Breath of Infidelity go forth like a two-edged Sword to deſtroy? Does it not, like peſti⯑ [...]ential Air, blaſt the rich Harveſt of fu⯑ [...]ure Hopes? Does it not intoxicate with [...]himerical Reaſonings and ſophiſtical Diſtinctions, which, like an Ignis fatuus in [...]he Night, ſhoot forth deluſive Beams to miſlead the unwary Follower?

Such Effects, ſage NAMREDAL, ſays I, may undoubtedly be feared; and the more, as ſome Perſons of eminent Abili⯑ [...]ies have aſſiduouſly laboured in theſe Works of Perverſion; yet ſtill I comfort myſelf with Hope that the grand, uni⯑form, and beautiful Fabric of RELIGION, framed by an Almighty Founder, can never be endangered by the Blaſts of Envy: Indeed its external harms may be ſomewhat obſcured, its Purity defiled by occaſional Filth, with which its Ene⯑mies [86] beſpatter it; but, ſelf-exiſtent, it ſtands above the vain Efforts of Liber⯑tiniſm, and, like the ERMIN, ſoon frees itſelf from all the Stains of Pollution.

If its Miniſters were but half ſo aſſidu⯑ous to ſupport it as its Enemies are to pull it down, its Dignity would eaſily be maintained: Neither Virtue, Courage [...] Wiſdom, nor any Qualification, is known without Trial; almoſt any one may ſteer a Ship in a Calm, but Shoals, Rocks, and tempeſtuous Seas prove the able Marine [...] wherefore the Oppoſers of RELIGION [...] ſeem a Kind of providential Inſtrument [...] to aid and improve its Strength. Fro [...] open Attacks it is in very little Danger [...] but there are unnatural Boſom-Foes, who, having got a Place in the TEMPLE, by the Flames of Enthuſiaſm endeavou [...] to deſtroy it; or, thro' the Incongruity of Zeal, heap diſproportionate Additions upon the Edifice, till it becomes deform⯑ed [87] to the Sight, and ſo very tottering, that the ſlighteſt Breath of rational In⯑quiry ſhakes it from the Foundation.

Here is the Danger to be feared and lamented; yet ſo very gentle and paſ⯑ſive are our PASTORS in general, that they ſuffer Sheep-clothed Wolves to en⯑ter their Folds and devour their Flocks: Nay, the Madneſs or Knavery has reach⯑ed ſome of themſelves; ſeveral who ſhould be its Guardians have joined this de⯑ſtructive Crew, and that not only with Impunity from their Superiors, but with the Character of Saints from the People. I myſelf knew a Clergyman in that Part of ENGLAND call'd YORKSHIRE, who, while he uſed the common uniform Me⯑thod of inſtructing his own Congrega⯑tion, was no more thought of than any neighbouring Gownſman; but being once characterized as the Favourer of an en⯑thuſiaſtic, and I fear hypocritical, Sect, [88] and purſuing their itinerant Method of preaching from Place to Place, his Influ⯑ence ſo far increaſed, that he could draw People a Dozen or Twenty Miles to hear his inſpired Doctrine.—Amazing Infatu⯑ation of the giddy Multitude! that a Man muſt loſe his Senſes or his Honeſty to pleaſe them; that Madneſs or Hypocriſy ſhould prevail more than truly orthodox Principles, or clear and ſolid Reaſon!

Aye, replies the NAMREDAL! Is it even ſo? You have then indeed rightly pointed out the real Danger, and I am particularly concerned at your Charge of Indolence againſt ſo many of the Holy Brotherhood; undoubtedly if they would ſet ſeriouſly to work; if in their Preach⯑ing they would ſpeak as much from the Heart, with as much Feeling as thoſe In⯑novators ſeem to do; having ſound Doc⯑rine, fit Morals, impartial Reaſon, and eſtabliſh'd Authority, they muſt ſoon root [89] out, by Conviction, ſuch noxious Weeds as produce nothing but falſe Zeal, unintelli⯑gible Speculation, and rambling Excla⯑mations, which extort, from Weakneſs and Ignorance, Aſtoniſhment, Tears, and Groans; while moral and ſocial Virtues are ſwallowed up in a Chaos of ill-regu⯑lated Faith and uneſſential Melancholy; the firſt of which audaciouſly prompts them to believe themſelves Saints, and the latter, in a great Meaſure, renders them unfit for the reaſonable and neceſſary Pur⯑ſuit of their worldly Concerns.

Is it not wonderful, continues he, that in the moſt important as well as the moſt trifling Concerns of Life, Perſons in the nether Globe are led by Oſtentation? That notwithſtanding multiplied Inſtan⯑ces of pretending PATRIOTS making a ſnug Retreat under the Shelter of Places, Penſions, or Titles, and being as it were miraculouſly ſtruck dumb, any Man, by [90] the ſelf-ſame Steps, ſhall become a po⯑pular Favourite, and be looked on as the Shield of LIBERTY, to ward off the En⯑croachments of Power? Is it not equally aſtoniſhing that in RELIGION alſo, tho' they are warned of falſe Teachers, every vociferous Fanatic or ſanctified Hypo⯑crite can miſlead the Multitude? Who like him beſt who has the greateſt Volu⯑bility of Tongue, whoſe Speech is the loudeſt and moſt impetuous, and finds moſt Fault with eſtabliſhed Principles or Cuſtoms? But what ſurpaſſes all Ima⯑gination, is, how the moſt illiterate Up⯑ſtarts can gain this Influence; Wretches who impudently boaſt of Ignorance as an Apoſtolic Recommendation.—Oh Hy⯑pocriſy!—Oh Novelty! How powerful are thy Charms! Before them Reaſon flies an Exile; or, turning Suicide, effects her own Deſtruction.

[91] Here, imagining that we had gone far enough upon this Subject, which, mi⯑nutely conſidered, would have led us into inextricable Prolixity, and that, after our utmoſt Endeavours, we could contribute little more than our Wiſhes to prevent or to amend, I returned to my Inquiry concerning AUTHORS, and the NAMRE⯑DAL proceeded to give me the following Account; confining himſelf, for Brevi⯑ty's Sake, as he obſerved, to the moſt re⯑markable of the antient Claſſics, and the moſt diſtinguiſhed ENGLISH Writers:

HOMER, ſays he, preſides over EPIC POETRY in NODNOL, aſſiſted by VIRGIL and MILTON, who each conteſted Supe⯑riority with him; but, upon a fair Debate, were obliged to yield, he having made it plainly appear that his Plan and moſt of his Thoughts were original; that he had Recourſe only to his own Genius and Judgment, while his Competitors [92] had the advantageous Example of his Labours; that tho' the MANTUAN was more correct and uniform, yet he excel⯑led in Imagery and Characters; alſo that the BRITON'S boaſted ANGELS and DE⯑VILS were but an Improvement upon his GODS and GODDESSES, drawn from a more copious, ſtriking, and elevated Syſ⯑tem of Religion. Upon this approved Superiority he was, by univerſal Suf⯑frage, allowed Precedence; of which however, in Compliment to the great Abilities of his two Brothers, he makes very little Uſe. Since his Arrival he has produced a Work of infinite Merit, call'd the ALEXANDRIAD, as a grateful Com⯑pliment to that Prince for the great Eſteem he ſhewed, while on Earth, for his Works and Memory.

HORACE, whom we have here alſo, and is reckoned a ſpirited ſocial Compa⯑nion, is appointed to write an ODE to [93] each new NAMREDAL; wherein he muſt not, as is uſual in your BIRTH-DAY ODES, idolize the Magiſtrate, but point out and celebrate thoſe Virtues which may ren⯑der him worthy of his Dignity.

JUVENAL, who poſſeſſes his former Cacoethes ſcribendi, with a Pen dipp'd in Gall, ſince we have no Vices amongſt us, cannot indulge his Spleen with brandiſh⯑ing the Iron Rod of Satire; but, as a Puniſhment for having uſed it unmerci⯑fully in the other World, he is obliged to write Panegyrics upon CAESAR, who de⯑ſpiſes them; and is doomed to ſee Plea⯑ſantry ſmile around, while he, unheeded, ſnarles and mumbles Diſcontent between his Teeth.

BACON, LOCKE, and NEWTON are veſted with the Superintendance of all Philoſophical Tranſactions, having ſuc⯑ceeded as more general, and therefore [94] more capable, to SOCRATES, PLATO, and SENECA. The STAGYRITE pleaded hard for Admittance, and his Abilities were complimented with eminent Ap⯑probation; but the irrational Action of drowning himſelf counterbalanced all Merit, and reduced him to the Neceſſity of being ASSELAN, or Uſher, to NEW⯑TON.—SHAFTESBURY alſo, with an Air of much Pertneſs and Importance, offer⯑ed himſelf a Candidate; but was totally rejected for ſelf-ſufficient Peculiarity, and a reſtleſs Spirit of introducing his own chimerical Notions, to the Prejudice of eſtabliſhed and well-grounded Opinions.

TACITUS and CLARENDON preſide over Hiſtory. My Brother Biſhop BUR⯑NET would gladly have been their Co⯑adjutor; but being convicted of groſs Miſrepreſentations and ſhameful Falſities in the Hiſtory of his own Times, he was peremptorily refuſed, and obliged to [95] [...]ompound for the Place of Amanuenſis [...] CLARENDON; in which Capacity TA⯑ [...]ITUS is ſerved by QUINTUS CURTIUS, [...]ho having been uſed to write nothing [...]ut Romance and Flattery, feels infinite [...]ain at being obliged to tranſcribe uſe⯑ [...]ul Maxims and Facts faithfully related, [...]ithout the Liberty to add one Flouriſh [...]f his own exuberant Imagination.

Over the DRAMA SHAKESPEAR ſits Su⯑ [...]reme, and is dignified with the Title of [...]NGAM ARUTAN, or Delineator of Na⯑ [...]ure. Here, as in his former State of [...]xiſtence, he furniſhes our ESTRALAM, [...] THEATRE, with the moſt celebrated [...]ieces exhibited amongſt us; while RY⯑ [...]ER, and ſome other carping Critics, who [...]arled at Beauties they could not com⯑ [...]rehend, are obliged to clean his Shoes [...]ternately, as a Mark of their Subjec⯑ [...]on.

[96] DRYDEN, LEE, and OTWAY contribu [...] alſo to the public Amuſement, as well [...] ſeveral naturalized NOIBLANS. Tho [...] admitted to the Claſs of POETS are dig [...] ⯑fied by a Laurel Crown; but DRYDE [...] as a Mark of his unſteady Principle [...] both in Religion and Politics, is oblig [...] to wear a Weathercock alſo on his Hea [...] LEE appears with a chained Mania [...] Emblem of his Frenzy; and OTWA [...] is diſtinguiſhed by a Roll, pointing ou [...] his Fate on Tower-Hill, and ſtanding [...] a Memorial of the Prodigality whic [...] brought him to that wretched End.

Not having heard any Mention of BE [...] JOHNSON or POPE, I aſked the NAM⯑REDAL if they were in NODNOL; th [...] former, ſays he, is not, but the latte [...] is. Two Points, notwithſtanding th [...] Claim of a powerful Genius, which wa [...] admitted, excluded BEN: Firſt, his abo⯑minable Principles bordering upon A⯑theiſm; [97] and next, his Ingratitude to SHAKESPEAR, either of which was ſuf⯑ficient to ſhut him out; ſo that he is ba⯑niſhed to ERISHNOVER; where, the very Name of Genius being hated, he drags on a tedious and deſpicable Exiſtence. As to POPE, on Account of his Abilities, his filial Affection, and the particular Regard HOMER expreſſed for him, he might have been very happy; but, being charged by poor DENNIS with moſt unmerciful Cruelty to him, and a ſhameful Envy of his Contemporaries, both which Accuſa⯑tions were fully proved, he was ſenten⯑ced to wear a Laurel Wreath, mingled with Sprigs of Nightſhade, by which it is not a little blaſted; and, moreover, he is almoſt continually tormented with the Jeſts and Railery of COLLEY CIBBER, BEAU NASH, and JOHN RICH, late Ma⯑ [...]ager of Covent-Garden THEATRE, the [...]hree MERRY ANDREWS of NODNOL.

[98] ADDISON, who was rather admitted as a GOOD MAN than a GREAT POET, on Account of his Integrity, his Zeal for Morality and Religion while he was on Earth, has been naturalized a CITIZEN, and enjoys the Poſt of Secretary to the NAMREDAL, and thro' his Interceſſion, tho' not without much Difficulty, SWIFT has been admitted his Aſſiſtant; but, on Account of many Objections, he enjoys not any NOIBLAN Privileges, it being pro⯑ved upon him that, while in the Miniſte⯑rial Function, he paid more Attention to Politics than Divinity; that Ambition, not Piety, was his ruling Principle; that he ever took more Delight to cenſure than commend; that he anatomized Cha⯑racters with as little Remorſe as Surgeons do Bodies; and that he was guilty of un⯑heard-of Cruelty in regard of VANESSA [...] However, as I have remark'd, ADDISON' [...] Intereſt, enforced with the Argumen [...] that he had done many extenſive an [...] [99] well-appropriated Charities, gained him Admiſſion; yet his Situation is but indif⯑ferent, for his Pride ill brooks ſo ſubor⯑dinate a State, and his perverſe Nature is mortified at the Tranquillity he ſees a⯑round him; ſo that he never enjoys any Satisfaction, unleſs he meets ſome of his Countrymen wearing Badges of their Vice or Folly; and then, DIOGENES-like, he gratifies his malicious Temper with cynical Sneers and biting Sarcaſms.

Inquiring whether there were any here of other learned or honourable Profeſ⯑ſions, the NAMREDAL told me, Very few; and the Reaſon, ſays he, may be given without many Words: None of the Clergy can be admitted, unleſs it evident⯑ly appears that the firſt great Motive for taking Orders was, not the lucrative View of a large Income, for the Indulgence of an indolent luxurious Life, but a ſerious Reſolution to propagate Religion and [100] Piety; to form the Minds, correct the Paſ⯑ſions, and cultivate the Virtues of their Hearers; to be indefatigable in viſiting and comforting the Sick; and, as far as Circumſtances would admit, to be liberal to the Poor; to be (that their Example might enforce their Doctrine) tender Fa⯑thers, affectionate Huſbands, kind Pa⯑ſtors, ſociable Friends, peaceful Neigh⯑bours, and loyal Subjects; moderate in their Enjoyments, humble in their De⯑portment, and chaſte in their Converſa⯑tion.

Under theſe Reſtrictions I have known very few above the Degree of Curates reach this Place; and, to confeſs the Truth, Lawn Sleeves would have exclu⯑ded me, but that ſeveral of my Deficien⯑cies were over-looked, on Account of my uncommon Attachment to the LUNAR WORLD. As to Lawyers, they are gene⯑rally excluded; for none are allowed En⯑trance, [101] unleſs they can prove that, to the beſt of their Knowledge, they have al⯑ways been upon the Side of Juſtice, and never conſidered the Fee before their Client. PHYSICIANS, as ſuch, are re⯑jected; but extraordinary Qualifications gain them Admittance; and all Military Perſons, as turbulent, dangerous Animals, incompatible with a Region of Peace, are excluded without Exception.

Here a confuſed Noiſe of ſeveral Per⯑ſons calling out in the Square interrupt⯑ed our Converſation, the Meaning of which will appear in the enſuing Chap⯑ter.

CHAP. VI.

THOSE Perſons, you hear, ſays the NAMREDAL, are SNERRUNETS to the SALMINA, Servitors to the TEMPLE; they are now ſummoning the People to the VESPERS, and the Words they Uſe are NOIGLEVER GENVELA, be grateful to God. Every one obeys this Call, and you will immediately have an Opportunity of ſeeing the NOIBLAN Method of Worſhip. Come, go with me, the Citizens are in waiting to conduct us.

[103] As the Ceremonies muſt be new and ſomewhat unintelligible to you, your beſt Method will be to follow the Motions of others, do what you ſee done, and in your own Heart, after your own Manner and Ideas, pay Adoration to the Supreme Di⯑rector of all Things; his Praiſe and Glory is the ultimate End of all that deſerves the Name of Religion. Sincerity of Inten⯑tion is the firſt and principal Recommen⯑dation to Divine Acceptance, which it will certainly obtain: It is not the Splendor nor the worldly Value of an Offering, but the Affection and Duty of him who pre⯑ſents it, that can pleaſe an Omnipotent Receiver.

Paſſing thro' a conſiderable Number of attending CITIZENS, we went forward to the TEMPLE; in our Way I could not but admire the extremely neat Regularity of the Streets, and the uniform Compactneſs of the Houſes, which will be ſpoken of [104] more at large hereafter. Coming near the Place of Worſhip, I perceived it to be a moſt ſpacious ſexagonal Building, riſing into a magnificent Dome; it ſtood upon a green Eminence of conſiderable Height, over the Sides of which flowed ſeveral ſportive Rills of Water, ſo tranſ⯑parent, that its Sparkles out-ſhone the Luſtre of our higheſt-poliſh'd Diamonds.

The TEMPLE was conſtructed of a Stone reſembling EMERALD, united with Cement of a Gold Colour; the Dome appeared to be of Chryſtal, ſupported by a vaſt Number of Pillars of the AME⯑THIST Hue, with Capitals and Baſis of the pureſt White; the Order of Archi⯑tecture appeared very different from any I had ever ſeen, and exhibited to View ſomewhat elegantly ſingular, preſerving a Chaſtneſs of Grandeur not to be found in the groſſer Materials of terreſtrial Magnificence.

[105] Having entered the AREA of the TEM⯑PLE, the NAMREDAL, and all who at⯑tended him, went to ſeveral Baſons of tranſparent, Saffron-coloured Stone, dip⯑ped their Heads into Water, waſhed their Hands, and dried both with Cloths of⯑fered them by Servants of the Church: I did ſo likewiſe; when ſtraight we entered a moſt beautiful and ſpacious ISLE, where we were no ſooner placed, than inſtanta⯑neouſly ſuch a thick impenetrable Dark⯑neſs wrapped us round, that I could by no Means ſee thoſe Perſons who ſtood cloſe by: At the ſame Time, from above, below, and every Side, the moſt diſmal Sounds, undulating thro' the Building, ſtruck my aſtoniſhed Ears, and, I may add, intimidated me not a little. On one Side Torment ſcreamed hideouſly, and on another Deſpair vented her la⯑mentable Groans. This laſted between five and ten Minutes; when, as quick as Thought, the inner Part of the TEMPLE [106] opening, ſuch a Flood of Light burſt upon us, from many Thouſands of Chry⯑ſtal Lamps, that my Eyes could hardly bear ſo powerful a Contraſt: The doleful Howlings were changed into Melody that might almoſt be called Celeſtial. This odd and ſtriking Ceremony I found to mean, that as all created Beings are im⯑perfect in ſome Degree by Nature, and more by Practice, Juſtice would condemn them to the Seat of Mourning, but in⯑finite Mercy, ſatisfied with temporary Pu⯑niſhments for temporary Crimes, opens the Gates of Bliſs and takes them in.—This ECARUOCNE, or Ceremony of Re⯑membrance, is performed once a Week, to impreſs a deeper Senſe of Duty and Devotion; to deter the Worſhippers from Vice, as they wiſh not to continue in the Gloom of Miſery; and to urge them to Virtue, as they hope for a ſpeedy Admiſ⯑ſion into the Sun-ſhine of Joy.

[107] Three AVOZENS, habited in graceful and awful Robes, now approached from the inner TEMPLE, at which all the Con⯑gregation bowed to the Earth; the elder of the three, ſupported by the other two, ſpoke, as I was informed afterwards, in the following Manner:

Having thus ſpoke he retired, and the Congregation followed, again proſtrating themſelves upon entering the inner TEM⯑PLE. How pleaſing would it be, thought I, to ſee ſuch a Number of Perſons upon Earth daring to approach their CREATOR, upon the ſame Principles, and under the ſame Reſtrictions? How could our FA⯑SHION-MONGERS, who go to criticiſe up⯑on Dreſs, bear ſuch a Teſt? How could the Sons and Daughters of Gallantry, who go to Church to worſhip one ano⯑ther, endure ſuch a Trial?—O uncourtly NOIBLANS, who baniſh Compliments, [109] ogling Smiles, and all Politeneſs out of RELIGION.

DIVINE SERVICE now began, and con⯑tinued with ſtriking Solemnity near an Hour, the Congregation ſometimes pro⯑ſtrated, at others kneeling, and then ſtanding.—Sitting is not allowed, it be⯑ing obſerved, that if the NAMREDAL has ſo much Reſpect paid him, as that none preſume to ſit in his Preſence, it muſt be deemed a moſt unbecoming Inſtance of Impiety to take that Freedom before HIM who is UNIVERSAL LORD and FA⯑THER of ALL.

The SENIOR AVOZEN having concluded with a very pathetic Benediction, we de⯑parted. The SNERRUNETS, as we paſſed thro' the Iſle of the TEMPLE, calling out,—Maginleb Nalſina, yurne yelveren, phazaz wal Sezived:—Remember the [110] Mediator is in your Houſes, and ſees all your Thoughts as well as Actions.

From VESPERS we went to the NAM⯑REDAL'S Houſe, and, being ſeated in a Kind of Saloon, I entered into an Inquiry concerning the Principles of the NOIBLAN RELIGION.

The chief Points of it, ſays he, are, That they believe a ſingle undivided DIVINITY, indeſcribable, incomprehen⯑ſible, to whoſe Appearance they adapt no Form, to whoſe Attributes they pre⯑ſcribe no Bounds: They never conſider him as an angry, vindictive BEING; for That, according to their Notions, would be to ſuppoſe him ſubject to Paſſions, and conſequently imperfect: They ſay he beſtows from BENEVOLENCE, pardons from MERCY, and corrects from the ſame amiable Principles: That as by infinite WISDOM he knows all created Beings to [111] be fallible, he will try them according to their Capacities and Opportunities: That he will not puniſh the Failings of real Weakneſs, nor reward untempted Rec⯑titude. To deſign well, and to reſiſt Temptation conſtitutes VIRTUE, as to act under Self-conviction, and to indulge pernicious Paſſions is of the Eſſence of VICE.

In this ISLAND it appears a moſt ſtrange and partial Notion to fix one Place of Abode, one Degree of Puniſhment, and that eternal, for all Sinners. They be⯑lieve in and worſhip a NALSINA, or ME⯑DIATOR, whom they ſuppoſe to be form⯑ed and appointed by GOD for the Sake of erring Creatures; that he is coeval with the Univerſe, for which, however, they do not fix an Aera, taking ſuch a Diſquiſition to be both unprofitable and preſumptuous: That he has the Perfec⯑tions of a DEITY, except that he is liable [112] to the Paſſions of Grief and Joy; the one cauſed by obſtinate Sinners, the other by contrite ones. The Reaſon they aſſign for the Exiſtence and Belief of ſuch a Me⯑diator is, that the pure undefiled Eſſence of DIVINITY being incompatible with the corrupt Breath of Sin, this Medium has been formed, that the NALSINA may more particularly ſuperintend the Actions of Mortals, receive their Petitions, and ſupplicate for them to the Throne of Grace.

Once each Day at leaſt every Perſon is obliged to attend public Worſhip, and no ſchiſmatical Notions are allowed to be propagated; tho' every Man is at Libery to judge for himſelf, if he decently com⯑plies with eſtabliſhed Cuſtoms; nor do they think that any Variation from thei [...] Syſtem, if grounded upon pious Prin⯑ciples, will injure future Happineſs. Al [...] thoſe, moreover, tranſlated from Earth [...] [113] who are not naturalized, are indulged in purſuing the Modes they practiſed in their former Exiſtence, if it be agreeable to themſelves.

I obſerved, continued he, that the Grandeur of our TEMPLE ſtruck you; nor is it ſurprizing in a Place where every other Building, except the HOUSE of JU⯑STICE, bears a ſimple, unadorned, hum⯑ble Equality; but the NOIBLANS think it ſerves to create a greater and more awful Reſpect to the DIVINITY to whom it is dedicated; it is to influence themſelves, not to gratify their GOD; for they are perſuaded that Works of Piety are as fra⯑grant, and of as much Eſtimation from the lowly Cottage as the moſt towering Edi⯑fice.—How different is this Principle and Practice of the NOIBLANS from what I re⯑member to have obſerv'd in England, where moſt of the Noblemen's Stables are Build⯑ings ſuperior to many of the Churches?

[114] This laſt Remark I could not help ac⯑knowledging to be as much adapted to the preſent as to any preceding Times, and expreſſed my Concern that it ſhould be ſo, when, among innumerable other public Extravagancies, between Eight and Ten Thouſand Pounds yearly, be⯑ſides Matches, are given and ſubſcribed for Horſes to run one another to Death, and to impoveriſh the Breed of thoſe uſe⯑ful Creatures, who, for Sake of Speed, are reduced to meer Baubles: That ſo juſt a Complaint ſhould have Place, when, at a random Gueſs, Two Hundred Thouſand Pounds annually are laviſh'd in over-grown Salaries, or Stipends, to Churchmen who never officiate; while ſeveral of thoſe, who toil and labour inceſſantly in the Paſtoral Office, as well as many of the Places of Worſhip, are pitiable Objects of Poverty.

True, ſays he, it is a Point of moſt juſt and rational Concern; as to thoſe Bounties [115] which only promote the Spirit of Gaming, or, in plainer Terms, the Spirit of picking one another's Pockets, they are, inſtead of Praiſe, highly deſerving of Cenſure; yet even they, conſidering ſome Advantages to Trade accruing from the Money that circulates at public Meetings, are not ſo heavy nor unjuſtifiable a Tax upon So⯑ciety as the other Evil that was complain⯑ed of.

What the Reaſon, what the Motive may be for making and continuing ſo many exorbitant Church Livings, no Man can tell, unleſs they be deſigned to make the MINISTERS of RELIGION mercenary Tools of Government. Why ſhould any Man, by any Evaſion whatever, be enabled to hold Pluralities? Why is not one Li⯑ving deemed ſufficient for one Teacher? Why not one PARISH, if ſmall, ſerved by one MINISTER, at One hundred and fifty Pounds a Year? Or, if large, by two, [116] each having ſo much? Why might no [...] BISHOPS (for ſuch Fathers or Inſpecto [...] I think neceſſary) officiate for One tho [...] ⯑ſand, and their immediate Aſſiſtant [...] DEANS, at Five hundred? Why ſhou [...] thoſe, who ought to be intirely devote [...] to Spiritual Matters, ſit among Tempor [...] Lords, and, buſying themſelves about [...] preſent State, entering into the Caba [...] and Factions of Policy, loſe Thoughts [...] a future? Why ſhould ſo many Prebe [...] ⯑daries and Dignitaries, who are othe [...] wiſe well provided for, cruſh Velvet C [...] ⯑ſhions in the Stalls of Cathedral Churche [...] and annually ſweep away ſuch monſtro [...] Sums? Why ſhould a Man, the high [...] he goes in Church Preferment, be th [...] leſs aſſiduous?

Surely theſe Points well deſerve to b [...] conſidered, and loudly call for Reform [...] ⯑tion.—'Tis true the Labourer is worthy [...] his Hire, but not of Superfluity; and ce [...] ⯑tainly [117] that Man in common Life would be deemed very weak, who gave extra⯑ordinary Wages to a Parcel of idle Fel⯑lows, merely to ſtand as Lookers-on; while he half-ſtarved the induſtrious Part, that carefully and laboriouſly fulfilled their Duty. Beſides, continues he, there is, in the Election of a BISHOP, ſomething ſo farcical, that, were it not a Jeſt upon Religion, it muſt excite Laughter: To enter upon Choice, when the Choice is [...]bſolutely fixed before-hand, makes it [...]ne of HOPSON'S Kind; and what we may [...]eem yet more ridiculous, is the Nega⯑ [...]ive three Times pronounced to a Digni⯑ [...]y which the humble Creature, by himſelf [...]nd his Friends, has poſſibly, for many Years together, been labouring to gain.

The NAMREDAL'S Sentiments moſt [...]erfectly coinciding with mine, I told him [...] would be a great Service to Religion, [...]nd a diſtinguiſhed Honour to the Policy [118] of Government, if ſuch Complaints could be redreſſed, and theſe Affairs ſettled up⯑on a permanent and equitable Footing.

I think, replies he, after long and ſe⯑rious Conſideration, that they might; and I ſhall briefly ſketch out the Scheme by which ſo deſirable a Purpoſe might be brought about. You will, no Doubt [...] find me fallible in ſome Points; but I hope not in many, nor material ones.

Obſerve then, firſt, That I would have the KING act merely as Defender of the Church; by his Magiſterial Authority to protect it from naturalized Foes, and by the Force of his Arms to ſhield it from foreign Attacks; by no Means to inter⯑fere in the Choice of Paſtors, as his nu⯑merous Avocations to other Matters can⯑not afford him Time to examine into th [...] Characters and Abilities of thoſe he is t [...] appoint; for which Reaſon he is unde [...] [119] the Neceſſity of taking Recommendations from the Tribe of Courtiers, who at all Events puſh on their own Relations and Dependents. This would poſſibly be deemed a Circumſcription of Royal Pre⯑rogative; but nothing ſure that tends to promote Religion and Virtue can take from real Dignity; it muſt rather give additional Luſtre, and verify a Maxim which ſays, That Limitation often ſtrength⯑ens Power.

I would recommend a total Annihila⯑ [...]ion of all Right to Preſentations, either [...] BISHOPS, CHAPTERS, COLLEGES, or private Perſons: This might be called [...] Attack upon private Property;—but [...] aſk, What Property? Do ſome Hun⯑ [...]reds or Thouſands a Year enable a Man [...]o chuſe out a proper Guide for his Fel⯑ [...]ow-Creatures? Few People, I believe, would chuſe a blind Friend to fix on the Perſon of a Wife, or the Situation of a [120] Houſe: Why then in the much more ma⯑terial Concern of being wedded to Futu⯑rity, or in the Choice of an eternal Dwel⯑ling, ſhould Men, blind with Ignorance or Avarice, which is too often the Caſe, claim any Right to chuſe? If they ſell their Election to a Living, it is a mean and ſcandalous Inſult upon RELIGION, and therefore ought to be aboliſhed; if they have no lucrative View, they may eaſily give up the Privilege to more competent Judges.

To prevent Murmurings, as Men are apt to think what they have once enjoyed is their indiſputable Right, the preſent Sons of the CHURCH, I mean ſuch as have a ſufficient Proviſion, ſhould enjoy their ſeveral Stipends for Life; but as they fell off, the proportionate Diviſion I have mentioned ſhould take Place, with all convenient Speed, among their Succeſ⯑ſors.

[121] The CLERGY of each DIOCESE, in Convocation aſſembled, ſhould, upon a Vacancy, chuſe from among themſelves the BISHOP or DEAN of the ſaid DIOCESE, being firſt ſworn that no previous Appli⯑cation from any Perſon, no partial Regard of Conſanguinity or Friendſhip, but the unbiaſſed Opinion of real Deſervings, ſwayed their Choice. Indeed, as the BI⯑SHOP and DEAN would have no Power of increaſing their Incomes, there would be but little Chance of Partiality.

As to all other MINISTERS; upon the Death of an Incumbent Application ſhould be made to the COLLEGES for a STUDENT in DIVINITY to fill up the Place; who, being recommended by them to the BISHOP, ſhould be examined by him, the DEAN, and ſix other CLERGY⯑MEN, and, if approved by them, ordained and inſtituted. This Method of grant⯑ing no Orders till a Vacancy happened, [122] would prevent ſuch Shoals from ſeeking Shelter and Subſiſtence in the Gown, where too often they find Indigence.

The above Scheme, which you may ripen in your Thoughts, diminiſh, en⯑large, or reject as you ſee fit, would be productive of ſeveral great and deſirable Advantages, if carried into Execution: Firſt, it would cut off all Adulation, Cringing, and mean Dependence from the Miniſterial Function; Men of Morals and Learning would be the ſole Judges of Perſons fit for their Brotherhood, not the ignorant mercenary Fools of Fortune. If the Robes of Divinity then ever enter⯑ed the Chambers of Great Men, it would be with a proper independent Reſpect; they would then, as MINISTERS, be only Servants of their Heavenly Maſter, ha⯑ving nothing to wiſh or fear of this World's Circumſtances, their Thoughts might and would be more devoted to a [123] future; their Tongues might then, with honeſt and unprejudicial Openneſs, tell eſſential Truths, however uncourtly. In ſhort, being in a Manner ſelf-exiſtent, in Compariſon of their preſent Condition, Obedience to National Laws excepted, and being totally debarred of all political Reflections and Remarks in their Preach⯑ing, they would become a much more re⯑ſpectable Part of the Conſtitution, and more properly fulfil the ſacred Title of Mi⯑niſters of God's Word. As they are now ſi⯑tuated, 'tis very much to be fear'd that too many are rather Retailers of the Words, and Flatterers of the Vanities of Men.

Another great Advantage from the Equality propoſed, would be the ſaving a great Sum annually from the preſent CHURCH REVENUES; which, being ap⯑plied to the building or rebuilding of CHURCHES, would furniſh what might be called decent Places of Worſhip in every [124] Spot, and would alſo contribute much to eaſe the Poor's Rates. No ſlight Conſi⯑deration, where ſuch weighty and multi⯑tudinous Taxes prevail as in ENGLAND; Taxes which, tho' framed by a National Council, are, generally ſpeaking, more unequally levied there than in any other known State.

CHAP. VII.

I Know not to what Length of Conver⯑ſation our Zeal, in regard of Churches and Churchmen, would have carried us, had not a blooming Youth of about Fif⯑teen acquainted us that Supper was rea⯑dy; when the NAMREDAL ſaid, Now [125] you ſhall ſee our private Method of Li⯑ving, which is the ſame in all Houſes, my Office of Magiſtrate only confines me to the Fatigue of Ceremony at Dinner, at other Times I am in the Family-Way.

Here I was conducted into another Apartment, where was ſet a ſmall Table and a very moderate Repaſt of Fruits and Vegetables; ſoon after us two Females, of very pleaſing and reſpectable Forms, came in, quite plain, but extremely neat in Dreſs: The NAMREDAL preſenting me to the firſt, ſaid, This is the Great ELIZABETH of ENGLAND; I would have paid Obeiſance on my Knee, but ſhe re⯑marked, with moſt delicate Affability, that her preſent State of Exiſtence hap⯑pily claimed no ſuch Reſpect; ſaid ſhe was highly pleaſed at ſeeing a Country⯑man, and that after Supper ſhe had many Queſtions to aſk. Being introduced to the other Female, I found ſhe was the [126] NAMREDAL'S Wife.—Take Notice that Perſons tranſlated from Earth are not, like the NOIBLANS, limited to a particu⯑lar Age for Marriage; but, if naturalized, may chuſe when and whom, as may be moſt agreeable.

Conſcious of being unacquainted with the Cuſtoms of Salutation, I pauſed for ſome Time in a State of diffident Confu⯑ſion; which my kind Inſtructor percei⯑ving—Bluſh not, ſays he, at being igno⯑rant of what, before now, you could not poſſibly be acquainted with; RIDICULE is a bitter Weed that rarely ſhoots up in NOIBLA; we do not, like the Malevolent in your World, wound Modeſty with cruel unſeaſonable Sneers and Laughter; on the contrary, we give with Pleaſure all poſſible Information to thoſe who may inadvertently do wrong.

How ignorantly inhuman is it to dart the Stings of RIDICULE at a Perſon for [127] taking Steps too long or too ſhort; turn⯑ing Toes in inſtead of out; drooping the Head inſtead of holding it erect; or dangling the Arms inſtead of diſpoſing them according to Art! Why ſhould a volatile FRENCHMAN laugh at the more temperate BRITON for Gravity, or the BRITON vent his Spleen at a SPANIARD for Formality, and at a DUTCHMAN for his wide Breeches? Indeed if any one of thoſe Articles made a Man better or worſe, they would deſerve Remark; but as every Nation has its Virtues, and I be⯑lieve the ſame may alſo be ſaid of every Individual, ſome few Oddities, or what ſeem ſo, ſhould be overlooked, or cor⯑rected with Tenderneſs.

But, continues he, I am going too far; know that our Method of Salutation be⯑tween the different Sexes is, the Man holds his Hand over the Female's Head, without touching, and ſays, May Virtue [128] and Conſtancy ever flouriſh:—To which ſhe replies, her Right Hand pointing to her Left Breaſt, With Love and Obedience.—This is the whole of Ceremony, and only uſed once each Day, let them meet ever ſo often.

Here we ſat down to Supper, the NAM⯑REDAL having invoked a Bleſſing. Du⯑ring the whole we ſat ſilent as at Dinner, and, having finiſhed, performed the ſame Ablution. We were attended by two Boys and two Girls, Children of the NAM⯑REDAL; who, after Thanks returned, re⯑moved every Thing with a pleaſing Dex⯑terity; when my kind Hoſt broke Silence in the following Manner:

As we are all acquainted with ENGLISH, ſays he, we will converſe in that Lan⯑guage; I know that, were it not for Cuſ⯑tom, whoſe arbitrary Power renders every Thing more bearable, the Ceremony of [129] Silence at Meal-Times would be deemed as great a Hardſhip by the Females of NOIBLA, as it muſt be to the Females of the nether World; even now, Ladies, I know your Tongues are itching for Li⯑berty, ſo e'en let them looſe.

Upon my Word, Sir NAMREDAL, re⯑plies ELIZABETH, you ſhall be called to Account if you are ſo tart upon our Sex; don't you know that Talking is our Pri⯑vilege here as well as on Earth; nay, let me tell you, if once rouſed up, we can think and act too; but you Lordly Crea⯑tures, called Men, would make Cyphers of us; that was the Reaſon I always ſtood by myſelf, and made ſome of my Brother MONARCHS know that the Policy and Reſolution of a Woman is as much to be feared as thoſe of Men; come, Sir, ſays ſhe, this is no Magiſtrate in his own Houſe, ſo, for all his Gravity, we'll be as prattling as we pleaſe.

[130] With all my Heart, replies the NAM⯑REDAL, my Gravity can't have more a⯑greeable Relaxation, and, to prove it, I'll make one among you; ſo let us hear what you'll propoſe for our Entertainment.

Here, addreſſing herſelf to me, ſhe ſaid, I was ſo much fatigued with Politics while on Earth, that I ſhan't trouble you with many Queſtions that Way; yet I ſhould be glad to know whether LIBERTY ſtill flouriſhes as it did while I held the Reins of Government: To this replying in the Affirmative, and that an equal if not a ſuperior Share of Military Fame attend⯑ed the BRITISH Arms, ſhe ſeemed parti⯑cularly pleaſed; and then aſked me about her Countrywomen, what Virtues and Foi⯑bles at preſent prevailed amongſt them.

This Interrogatory occaſioned ſome Heſitation; Madam, ſays I, to ſpeak the Truth will rather appear Severity, and I [131] would not willingly enter into a Miſre⯑preſentation by falſe Softening and miſ⯑applied Tenderneſs; I ſhall ſketch out a Picture as like the Originals as my Ob⯑ſervation and Fancy will admit, in which Light I hope you will candidly receive it.

Certainly, ſays ſhe; it is not the Cuſ⯑ [...]om to diſguiſe Truth here in regard to [...]ither Sex; it is told, contrary to the old ENGLISH Proverb, at all Times and in [...]ll Places, therefore you cannot oblige [...]s more than to adhere ſtrictly to it; for [...]owever we might wiſh our Siſters thro' [...]he Univerſe to do as they ought, yet to [...]elate the Vices or Follies of any Part, [...]annot poſſibly give Offence.

Thus encouraged, I proceeded: The [...]ADIES of ENGLAND, Madam, as you [...]uſt remember, taken in a general View [...]f natural Qualifications, Perſons, Fea⯑ [...]res, and Underſtandings, are excelled [132] by none; and I believe, did they no [...] take extraordinary Pains to raiſe up A [...] ⯑pearances againſt Reputation, they migh [...] juſtly claim an exalted Share of Virtue [...] but a ſtrange, unaccountable Frenzy [...] called FASHION, ſo intoxicates the [...] Brain, that almoſt every Conſideratio [...] is ſacrificed to the ridiculous Worſhip [...] that Idol; which has given ſuch unlimi [...] ⯑ed Sway, that if a Huſband, Father, [...] Guardian, pretends to find Fault and ad⯑viſe, he is immediately ſilenced by th [...] powerful Word; the extraordinary E [...] ⯑fects of which you will more fully com⯑prehend, by ſketching the Outlines of [...] fine Lady's Life.

It has been juſtly obſerved, that a we [...] regulated Reſerve and Modeſty are th [...] chief Points of Beauty in a Female Ch [...] ⯑racter; but this Opinion FASHION h [...] totally overthrown, and ſtigmatiz'd the [...] with the Terms of unbred Sheepiſhneſ [...] [133] while a ſhameleſs Front, ſtaring Eyes, wandering Limbs, and nonſenſical Voci⯑feration, uſurp the Titles of Elegance, Eaſe, and Wit; theſe admirable Qualifi⯑cations are ſeen to a conſiderable Degree, even in ſingle Females, but ariſe to ſo eminent a Pitch of Perfection in married ones, that it would almoſt occaſion an Obſerver to believe they only conſidered Matrimony as a Licence to free them from every rational Reſtriction, as a Paſſ⯑port to carry them thro' the Paths of Li⯑ [...]entiouſneſs; to ſuch, all Men are alike [...]ut their Huſbands, they indeed find Coldneſs and Reſerve enough: But theſe [...]re general Remarks, I muſt come more within the Bounds of a particular Cha⯑ [...]acter, which cannot be better ſtruck out [...]han by giving you the daily Diſpoſition [...]f Time.

In this Point, I know not well where, [...]r how to begin, as a faſhionable Lady [134] has no Morning: Let it ſuffice to ſay ſhe gets up at Noon, or after it; receives and reads Cards of Compliment during Breakfaſt; takes her Chair or Chariot, and tires both the Men and Horſes in galloping from Street to Street, to pay what they call MORNING Viſits; then re⯑turns and dines in the Evening, drinks Tea at Night, and plays Cards, Supper-Time excepted, till the next Day is ad⯑vanced. This, with ſome very incon⯑ſiderable Variations, is the continual Round of Taſte and Elegance.

I perceiv'd a Face of Aſtoniſhment poſ⯑ſeſs ELIZABETH at this Deſcription, while the NAMREDAL'S Lady queſtioned me, whether the Huſbands purſued the ſame Courſe of Living: I told her many of them did; but took Care not to diſ⯑grace themſelves, or Wives, by appear⯑ing at the ſame Places. MATRIMONY with them is ſomewhat like a Country-Dance, [135] where, tho' you have a ſet Part⯑ner, you as often dance up to thoſe of your Neighbours, and ſo change about.

Aye! ſays ſhe, And pray what domeſtic Happineſs can ſuch Couples enjoy? What Cordiality, what mutual Satisfaction? How can they poſſibly fulfill the Duty, or feel the tender Senſations of Parents? None of thoſe Points, Madam, I replied, are of the leaſt Concern among Perſons of polite Taſte; ſuch mean Conſiderations are referred to the vulgar, ruſticated Part of Mankind, never admitted amongſt the more poliſhed Aſſemblies: Beſides, they are ſo infatuated with foreign Frippery, that ſcarce any Thing which is not origi⯑ [...]ally deviſed among our inveterate and [...]onſtant Foes will go down. Meat, Clothes, and Manners, are ſo adulterated, [...]hat I dare ſay this Lady, who once [...]ayed the Britiſh Sceptre with ſuch illu⯑ [...]rious Merit, were ſhe to return, would [136] ſcarce be able to diſcover any one Cir⯑cumſtance that could bring her Country⯑women to Remembrance.

No truly, returns ELIZABETH, not by the Account you give of them; there was ſuch a Thing as FASHION in my Reign, and it frequently varied, which, for Sake of Trade and Manufactures, ſhould un⯑doubtedly be encouraged in ſome Mea⯑ſure; but I do not recollect that ever it went to ſuch a pernicious Length: It con⯑tributed to a reaſonable Pleaſure, but not an idolatrous Pride: Night and Day took their regular Turns among all Ranks of People, nor did any Degree of Quality exempt a Woman from due Attention to domeſtic Concerns. This did not pre⯑vent Hours of Relaxation and commend⯑able Amuſement; but, giving an Edge to Appetite, rendered them more pleaſing, at the ſame Time that Regularity gave Spirit to the Features, Vivacity to the [137] Diſpoſitions, and Health to the Conſtitu⯑tions of my Countrywomen. Certainly, your faſhionable Ladies, as you ſtile them, have very little of the healthful Bloom in their Countenances, and, while ſubject to the Viciſſitudes of GAMING, they muſt frequently diſtort their Features into very frightful Forms. I ſhould think to pre⯑ſent them with Mirrors, during a Run of very bad Luck, would deter them from ſuch contemptible and pernicious Prac⯑tices, unleſs indeed the Spirit of plunder⯑ing themſelves and others happens to be more prevalent than the Conſideration of their Beauty.

Well obſerved, ſays the NAMREDAL, I have liſtened to the Remarks on every Side, and think them juſt; but, ſurely, continues he, the Men muſt be of a widely different Caſt, elſe the Nation could never be in ſuch Repute, nor crowned with ſuch Military Fame as you have deſcribed. [138] I anſwered, that, in general, they provi⯑dentially were ſo, for the Defence and Support of LIBERTY; but that many of the Nobility in particular, and other Nurſelings of Fortune, aſpiring at the Character of FINE GENTLEMEN, act up⯑on Principles diametrically oppoſite.

Aye there, replies he, lies the Partiality and diſgraceful Inconvenience of Here⯑ditary Honours; by which the moſt con⯑temptible Wretch, if he be born a Lord, continues ſo, and claims Precedence of many Thouſands better than himſelf; tho', uſurping the Poſt of a JOCKEY, with pi⯑tiful Ambition, he ſcampers over the Turf, or, in the Semblance of a GAME⯑STER, rattles the Dice, ſtill his Nobi⯑lity of Blood conſecrates, as it were, ſuch Baſeneſs, and gives the Wretch an un⯑merited and dangerous Importance.—Now, Shame upon it,—Did REASON ever authorize ſuch Principles? No, certainly, [139] rather Vice in the Garb of Reaſon, know⯑ing her own Deformity, has run for Shel⯑ther under the Glare of Political Honours, which may render her true Shape leſs perceptible, and conſequently leſs fright⯑ful. If Rank were to be the Reſult of ap⯑proved Merit only, it would much more juſtly and univerſally claim Reſpect. In the preſent Diſpoſition of Things, tho' it ſerves to awe the Vulgar, in the View of ſenſible Men, it does but reflect Scan⯑dal upon the unworthy Poſſeſſors.

Several other Queſtions were aſked al⯑ternately by the NAMREDAL, his Wife, and ELIZABETH; but as my Anſwers were neceſſarily Deſcriptions of what the Readers muſt be ſufficiently acquainted with, as being intimately known to al⯑moſt every Individual, I ſhall come to the laſt Point of Inquiry, which was con⯑cerning the preſent State of DRAMATIC Writing and our THEATRES.

[140] Here I confeſſed that we have not at preſent, nor have had for ſome Years, one AUTHOR for the STAGE, that, in any Shape, deſerves the Name of POET; the TRAGEDIES are ſuch cold, elaborate, un⯑alarming Pieces of Declamation, that no Action can give them Life, no Attention purſue them thro' five dull Acts: Indeed they boaſt of ſtrict critical Unities, and ſay that the Flowers of Poetry are deſign⯑edly rejected, as improper for Dialogue; yet, were it not for ſuch Pieces as abound in thoſe Flowers, and frequently break thro' the Trammels of CRITICISM, from which the THEATRES draw their chief Support, our modern Scribes would not have an Opportunity to crawl thro' nine dull Nights in their Paſſage to Oblivion: Nay, I will do them the Juſtice to ſay, I believe that their ſtrict Attachment to Criticiſm proceeds from its being better ſuited to their barren Imaginations, which want Force and Activity to get beyond [141] its inſipid Limits. In regard of their COMIC Pieces, as the Duke of BUCKING⯑HAM ſaid, it was no eaſy Matter to pen a Whiſper, we find it now a maſterly Point to pen a Blank; beſides, it is made almoſt a conſtant Rule for one of the Interlocu⯑tors to begin ſpeaking before the other has done, which I always conſidered as a Piece of ill Manners. In ſhort, there is ſuch Snipſnap, ſuch Pauſes, and Heſita⯑tion, that if Converſation in private was to take Example from what is exhibited on the STAGE, it would be reduced to a moſt unmeaning, indelicate Stammering; a Labouring, like the Mountain, to bring forth a Mouſe.

What, ſays ELIZABETH, ſuch a Depra⯑vity in a Country where SHAKESPEAR, DRYDEN, OTWAY, and CONGREVE have left ſuch bright Examples! I am aſham'd of my native Soil, and wiſh it had deſer⯑ved [142] a better Character; but pray, Sir, have the Theatres declined equally?

To this I replied, That, to the beſt of my Knowledge, they had never been more encouraged, nor ever were worſe ſupported, than at preſent; the Incomes of Performers are immoderate, the Merit very confined. As to the former; why might not One hundred a-year, beſides the Advantage of a Benefit, genteelly re⯑ward any Degree of Merit? By ſuch a Re⯑gulation, ſuch Savings might be made as would enable Managers to take more reaſonable Prices for ſo rational and eſ⯑ſential an Entertainment as the Drama affords: In this I would by no Means leſ⯑ſen the Conſequence or Credit of the Stage, for which no Perſon can have a greater Regard; but, by bringing it into leſs exceptionable Bounds, to guard it from the Envy and too juſt Complaints which are now levelled againſt it.

[143] In regard of Performance; I have al⯑ways thought that the general Courſe of Nature only can be a fit Standard of Ex⯑ample; every Character in private Life will be an unerring Original to copy for the Stage; only as Water-Colour Painting, which is ſeen at a Diſtance, and by artificial Light, requires ſtronger Strokes than the Oil-ſoften'd Tints; ſo Action upon the Stage ſhould enforce and render its Origi⯑nal more ſtriking.—But how extremely different is the preſent Practice; inſtead of Nature, ONE eminent Performer, who has certainly aſtoniſhing Abilities for his Pro⯑feſſion, is ſet up to View, and a ſervile, unequal Imitation of him glides thro' the various Degrees. In the Play of Richard ſcarce a Man but affects ſome Peculiarity of the crooked Monarch; in Lear the whole Court is ſtruck with a Kind of com⯑plaiſant Debillity; or when this ſame Idol of Imitation, with maſterly Tranſition, deſcends into the meaner Scenes of low [144] COMEDY, his Grimaces, by a Kind of elec⯑trical Concuſſion, warp the Features of Characters widely different; ſo that almoſt in every Thing you may ſee his Starts, his Pauſes, his Action, his Attitude, and his Variations of Countenance.—But ah! how changed! how miſapplied! I have often thought this paltry ignorant Com⯑pliment to ſuperior Merit, like a whole Town's takin Fancy to the Cloaths of a Connoiſſeur in TASTE; who, without re⯑garding their own Size, taller or ſhorter, bigger or leſs, ſhould make theirs exactly of the ſame Dimenſions. In ſuch a Caſe the Original may be pleaſing and pretty, while the Copies muſt be utterly ridicu⯑lous.

Truly, ſays the NAMREDAL, at this Rate your Performances muſt loſe much of the Energy that animates juſt and ori⯑ginal Action, for no Qualification relative to human Nature can be more contemp⯑tible [145] or cruel than MIMICRY, as it either proceeds from a total Barrenneſs of Idea, or an innate Malevolence, which catch⯑ing at, and aggravating Defects, provides Food for the inſatiate Appetite of RIDI⯑CULE.—I am amazed, continues he, that ſo much good Senſe, as muſt be poſſeſſed by an Engliſh Audience, can digeſt ſuch groſs Food, or be contented with the Skeletons of Merit.

Nay, Sir, I replied, if good Senſe was to prevail, the Caſe muſt ſoon take a dif⯑ferent Turn; but there is a deluſive Mon⯑ſter called PREJUDICE, which, leading Judgment by the Noſe, decides: Scarce one Auditor thinks for himſelf, but catch⯑es from his Neighbour, and retales to a third; nor is this confined to Performance, it reaches Authors alſo; which may, in ſome Meaſure, account for that Decline of Genius I have mentioned: Scarce any Piece can arrive at a Peruſal, unleſs recom⯑mended [146] by ſome RIGHT HONOURABLE Perſonage; who, tho' he can hardly read, is, from his Title, by the Courteſy of England, a profound Judge of Wit, Senti⯑ment, and Stile. A Sort of Neceſſity to indulge this uſurped Prerogative excul⯑pates the MANAGERS from the Charge of not regarding Merit. Whenever a Penny is to be got, Nobility and Inte⯑reſt muſt put forth their monopolizing Claws, and draw it all to the Dens of their hungry Dependents, who are thus laid a Tax upon the Public, and become Ido⯑laters of thoſe illuſtrious Patrons that purchaſe the Immortality of DEDICA⯑TION-FAME, at the Expence of others; they cannot keep thoſe more valuable Appendages of Quality, MISTRESSES and RUNNING-HORSES, ſo cheap.

At this Rate, cries ELIZABETH, I ſhall loſe all Patience, and begin to deſpiſe my Country; I got out of it in Time, [147] and am happily come to a Region where impartial Judgment is allowed its juſt Influence; no Piece here is valued for the Name of its AUTHOR, but only for its intrinſic Merit: Even SHAKESPEAR, tho' he has never failed yet, is as critically examined as one who had never wrote be⯑fore; indeed there is a precautionary Me⯑thod which renders this Impartiality un⯑avoidable; for every new Dramatic Per⯑formance is, without any Intimation of the AUTHOR'S Name, ſubmitted to twelve CENSORS, who conſider it, and give the Sanction of their Approbation, or con⯑demn it as unfit. According to the De⯑grees of Merit they are performed; and then, when ready for Exhibition, the AU⯑THOR confeſſes himſelf: Such a Court of Critical Inquiry would enlarge the Field of Genius in BRITAIN. When you return you may propoſe it if you chuſe; in the mean Time, if you will accompany the [148] NAMREDAL, this Lady and me, to our ESTRALAM, you will have an Opportu⯑nity of ſeeing the Rules and Action of our NOIBLAN DRAMA.

Well, ſays the NAMREDAL, ſince the Ladies have propoſed you ſo agreeable an Entertainment, I requeſt your Com⯑pany in the Morning to the REQUECEX, 'tis the Day for adminiſtering Juſtice, and I dare ſay there will be ſome Trials worth your hearing: I had ſcarce Time to reply when the great Bell tolling in⯑terrupted our Converſation; the Ladies, wiſhing me a calm Repoſe, immediately withdrew; and the NAMREDAL telling me that was the public Signal for retiring to Reſt, conducted me in Perſon to a ſmall agreeable Apartment, where Neatneſs ſupplied the Place of Elegance; there, after the moſt kind and hoſpitable Ex⯑preſſions, he left me to compoſe my [149] Thoughts by Slumber, or to give them full Scope in the wide Field of Reflec⯑tion upon what has been hitherto re⯑lated.

When alone a vaſt Variety of Ideas crowded upon each other in my Imagi⯑nation; firſt, my unaccountable Convey⯑ance to the LUNAR WORLD, ſurprizing and inconceivable in its Nature; next, that peculiar and kind Reception I had met in it; the Novelty of thoſe Ceremo⯑nies I had gone thro'; the happy Situa⯑tion, the tranquil Equality of the People I had, as it were, dropp'd among; with many other Circumſtances which do not now occur: Moreover, I felt ſome Degree of Uneaſineſs, that I knew not how I was to return, nor when, nor if at all; but Sleep, like a kind Friend, came to my Aſſiſtance, and, by its oblivious Influ⯑ence cloſing up the Eye of Memory, re⯑lieved me from thoſe Anxieties which my [150] new and extraordinary Situation had oc⯑caſioned.

CHAP. VIII.

NOtwithſtanding the Hurry of Ima⯑gination which diſturbed me when I retir'd to Bed, I enjoyed all Night the Refreſhment of compoſed Sleep: Being waked by the tolling of the Bell, which I underſtood to be the general Signal for riſing, I got up; as there was no Window but at the Top of the Room where I lay, and that in Form of a Cupola, I aſcend⯑ed to it, and looking out perceived the Sun to be an Hour high, or thereabouts, beaming upon the moſt compact and beautiful Range of ſmall Gardens that I [151] ever ſaw, wherein an infinite Number of Flowers, Herbs, Shrubs, and Trees were delightfully variegated; ſeveral Birds, about the Size of our common Hens, were hovering round; their Plumage ap⯑peared charming beyond Deſcription; their Heads were covered with a ſhining Down of Golden Hue; their Wings ex⯑hibited the brighteſt Scarlet; their Necks vied with the Azure of the Firmament, and their Bodies ſhamed the pureſt Snow: Theſe I afterwards underſtood to be call⯑ed Doſen Alopu, Garden Birds, and that they are highly reverenced in NOIBLA for two Reaſons; becauſe, firſt, they de⯑ſtroy all the Vermin and Inſects that are pernicious to the Fruits of the Earth; and next, becauſe they are a Kind of na⯑tural Phyſicians; for when any NOIBLAN is indiſpoſed, as ſometimes is the Caſe ſlightly, he goes into his Garden, lies down on his Back, when the firſt of theſe [152] Birds that ſees him will light directly up⯑on his Breaſt, put its Bill to his Mouth, give him three or four Flaps with its Wings, then riſe and hover round him till he ſtands up, when it leads him to whatever Herb may be ſalutary for his Ailment, and this taken never fails to give immediate Relief.

About half an Hour might have paſſed away in Obſervation before I heard any Body come, when the NAMREDAL'S Son approached with ſome Water in a Chry⯑ſtal Veſſel; which preſenting with a fine Cloth, he told me that his Mother at⯑tended my coming to Breakfaſt; this oc⯑caſioned me to haſten; and, having waſh⯑ed, I followed the Lad, who conducted me whither ſhe was.

She received me with moſt delicate Affability, and kindly enquired whether [153] the Novelty of my Situation had not in⯑terfer'd with my Reſt: I replied, That tho' an unavoidable Surprize poſſeſſed me, yet every Circumſtance I ſaw or heard was ſo exceedingly agreeable, that my Nature had never been more plea⯑ſingly or more rationally gratified than ſince my Arrival in NODNOL. This De⯑claration ſeemed to give her ſenſible Sa⯑tisfaction, and ſhe propoſed Breakfaſt in the moſt hoſpitable Manner; obſer⯑ving, at the ſame Time, that they had none of the Materials in NOIBLA which ſhe underſtood we uſed for Morning Meals in the lower World, yet hoped Novelty would not render them leſs a⯑greeable.

Nay, Madam, ſaid I, my Taſte is ra⯑ther plain and unpoliſhed, any Thing will do for me; but, were I one of the niceſt Sort, Novelty would be a ſtrong Recommendation. Oh, how would Per⯑ſons [154] of Quality and Faſhion in ENGLAND envy me a Breakfaſt in the MOON? How would they pay, were there a Communi⯑cation for Rarities from hence? Our EAST-INDIA Trade would ſoon decline, as this would be more impracticable and full as uſeleſs; for tho' we have every Thing in our Iſland that Nature can rea⯑ſonably require, but Content; yet are we ſo induſtrious to cultivate Trouble and Expence, that immenſe Oceans are ploughed, and the moſt furious Tempeſts encounter'd, to bring home an Herb, which (being faſhionable) ſome Wretches, who can hardly purchaſe Bread, muſt have at any Rate.

Here, laughing at what ſhe juſtly call'd ſuch artificial Neceſſity, ſhe poured out a Kind of Azure-colour'd Liquor. She told me it was extracted from the Maltra Enu⯑the, or Tree of Health; and that the ſmall Cakes eaten with it were made of the [155] Bark, dried, powdered, and wrought into a Conſiſtence like our Biſcuits. On Trial I found the Liquid delicious to the Palate, and highly balſamic to the Stomach, which would have induced me to drink a good deal more than fell to my Share, for as I found afterwards the Quantity is limited; you take as little as you pleaſe, but not as much as Appetite calls for. The Cakes reliſhed but indifferently; however, upon the whole, I could not complain.

Before Breakfaſt I aſked for the NAM⯑REDAL, but was informed that, being to enter upon the Diſtribution of JUSTICE, he would not be ſeen till he was going to the REQUECEX; that he eat nothing till the Trials were over, nor ever ſuffered himſelf to be diſturbed during the Time of preparatory Devotion. It will be near an Hour, Sir, ſays his Wife, before he ap⯑pears; if a weak Woman's Prattle can make that Space leſs tedious, I will ra⯑ther [156] expoſe my own Deficiencies than ſuffer you to want Amuſement. I re⯑ſpectfully thanked her for ſuch unmerit⯑ed Condeſcenſion, wherein ſhe ſo much under-rated her own Merits; adding, that nothing could be more agreeable than her Converſation, were I not intimidated by a Fear of diſcovering a Deficiency on my Side.

Mighty well, replies ſhe, I have often heard that you Men of the LOWER WORLD are vaſtly given to Flattery, which you always beſtow moſt plentifully upon Females, and ſometimes upon one another; but, pray, is it not in both Caſes of a mean and pernicious Nature? It can only ſerve to make Vanity flouriſh, and predominate over ſuch empty Idols as are fond of this Incenſe, while you who offer it, however it may anſwer particular Purpoſes, muſt naturally have a poor Opinion of that Feeling you labour ſo [157] induſtriouſly to create. We have luckily no ſuch Artifice, no ſuch Parent of Folly among us; all Approbation is limited to Minds, not Perſons; to Conduct, not Beauty; becauſe one is the Merit or Fault of Nature, the other merely our own: But pray, Sir, that I may be the better informed of the State of LOVE in your Country, let me know whether all are obliged to reinforce their Paſſion with this intoxicating Ingredient, or is it poſ⯑ſible to ſucceed without its Aid.

Madam, ſays I, to confeſs the honeſt Truth, ſuch Footing has inſinuative Ad⯑dreſs gained among all Sorts of People, that Deluſion is much more prevalent than Honeſty; all cry out againſt Flat⯑tery, yet all take it down with great Pleaſure; but then it muſt be varied in its Shape according to the Patient it has to work on; and tho' the Effect of it up⯑on Women is certainly moſt extenſive [158] and powerful, yet Men of all Denomina⯑tions are liable to its Influence.

As to LOVE, it has been well affirm'd by many eminent Authors, that it is the nobleſt Feeling of the human Heart; noble when properly fix'd, and ſupport⯑ed by a delicate Sincerity; dangerous when, at War with Reaſon, it captivates all our Intellects, and leads even our Senſes to their own Deluſion. I would endeavour to deſcribe the faireſt Side, and ſhew diſintereſted Affection in its pureſt Colours; but 'tis in vain to attempt a Deſcription of that which ſo rarely ex⯑iſts amongſt us; to find it in any Rank of People is almoſt a Miracle; Marriages indeed are negotiated, becauſe Nature and Cuſtom prompt the different Sexes to ſuch Connections; but then they are tranſacted like any other Branch of Trade, and Money appears the chief Match-Maker; beſides, as if we had not [159] been ſufficiently ſordid in our Way of thinking, the LEGISLATURE took Care to frame a legal Bar againſt mutual In⯑clinations; a Law which ſerves no one End but to enlarge Church Revenues by exorbitant Fees.

A very extraordinary Piece of Policy indeed, replies ſhe; thank Heaven we have no ſuch LEGISLATORS here. I thought you told ELIZABETH laſt Night you had the ſame LIBERTY as in her Time; now I don't recollect to have heard my Huſband, who was long after her, mention any ſuch Law as you have juſt ſpoken of.

No, Madam, ſays I, 'tis of very late Date, and, as it did not affect me directly, I had forgot it. And pray, returns ſhe, how came it ever to be thought of? I re⯑plied that I never heard nor could ima⯑gine how ſuch an Abortion was concei⯑ved; [160] ſome People conjectured it to be the Fruits of a few Great Men's Appre⯑penſions that their Daughters, to the Diſ⯑grace of Blood, might prefer hale, ſen⯑ſible, vulgar Fellows to emaciated, worn⯑out Fools of Quality; ſo, in a Rage, they determined to make as many young Peo⯑ple thro' the Kingdom unhappy as they could; and in numberleſs Inſtances I be⯑lieve it has had the deſired Effect, by oc⯑caſioning otherwiſe well-diſpoſed Couples to take imprudent Steps, rather than en⯑counter parental Tyranny, (which ſhews itſelf too frequently) and the ſuperfluous Forms required by Law.

Here ſhe expreſſed great Surprize that a Nation, famed for Wiſdom and a Love of Freedom, ſhould ſuffer one of the ten⯑dereſt Rights of Nature to be infringed, or incumbered with unreaſonable partial Reſtrictions; then continued to queſtion me about a Kind of Animals ſhe had [161] heard of, call'd PRUDES and COQUETTES; when I told her we had Plenty of them; the former being a Creature which de⯑clines all reaſonable Freedoms for a for⯑ced Reſerve, after ſheltering the worſt Principles under an aukward Semblance of ſtrict Modeſty; the latter, a Kind of wanton Butterfly, which flutters and ex⯑pands its gaudy Wings as much as poſ⯑ſible in the Sunſhine of FASHION; fond of being admired, and never more happy than when it can make its Admirers mi⯑ſerable.

And are Men, ſays ſhe, ſuch arrant Dupes as to be impoſed upon by mere Semblances? Or is it the extraordinary Beauty of your Women which gains them ſuch an unlimited Influence over Reaſon?

I told her that it was beyond my Power to account for it; that Beauty was fre⯑quently [162] to be met with, and certainly had much Power; but that, among the polite World, one ſcarce knew what was Beauty, as the Faſhions of Shapes and Features were ſo often altered; ſome⯑times oval Faces are the Standard, then round ones; ſometimes broad Waiſts, ſometimes narrow; ſo that what is Beau⯑ty at one Time is Deformity at another; and Nature, who is not confined within the narrow Bounds of Rule, ſuffers fre⯑quent and undeſerved Cenſure from the ignorant Caprice of prevailing Opinion.

Here ſhe burſt out into a loud Laugh, and repeated the Words FASHIONABLE BEAUTY ſeveral Times, till the NAMRE⯑DAL'S Appearance terminated our Con⯑verſation.—He told me that, if I had a Mind to accept of his Invitation to the REQUECEX, he was juſt going thither, and would be glad of my Company; I [163] paid my Compliments to his Lady, and went with him directly.

We were conducted by four-and-twenty Citizens, ſome of whom carried, as among us, the Inſignia of Authority immediately before the Magiſtrate; the chief of which was three Figures in one Piece, moſt admirably cut from a brilli⯑ant Stone or Compoſition; the chief Fi⯑gure was JUSTICE; on her Right Hand appeared WISDOM ſupporting her, and on the Left MERCY, (to whom ſhe kindly extends her Hand) kneeling in a ſuppli⯑cative Poſture. The Characters were ſet forth with much the ſame Emblems as we ſee on Earth.

Having reached the Court, the NAM⯑REDAL placed me on the Left Hand of his own Seat, which I found to be a Mark of Diſtinction in NOIBLA. Two Citizens immediately approached, raiſed [164] a Canopy over the Magiſtrate, and then cloſed him in, except on the Side where I ſat, with ſomewhat like a Silk Curtain; I wondered what the Meaning of this could be, but was ſoon relieved from Suſpence; for he told me that, as the Eye was a Parent of Prejudice in almoſt every Point of View, and the beſt Under⯑ſtanding or ſoundeſt Judgment might be warped by it, the Cuſtom of NOIBLA was to veil the Magiſtrate from Sight of thoſe who came to plead before him, till his Arbitration was determined; it has alſo, ſays he, the good Effect of keeping At⯑tention from being diſturbed by ſur⯑rounding Objects.

Juſt as he had ended this Obſervation, a Citizen, with much emphatic Delibe⯑ration, repeated thrice the following Words:—Bineda, Oh NAMREDAL, Twanto Selben Twantaſtez.—Temper, Oh Fa⯑ther, Juſtice with the Dew of Mercy. This [165] was the whole Ceremony uſed in open⯑ing the Court; which being performed, two Females came up, and one prefer⯑red her Complaint in the following Man⯑ner:

FATHER of NODNOL, I come before you to ſeek Reparation for an Injury done me by a Woman here preſent; an Injury of the niceſt Nature, and unpro⯑voked by me in any Shape, as it has been my conſtant Endeavour to live in Har⯑mony with my Fellow-Citizens; yet has ſhe, for what Cauſe I know not, given out ſuch prejudicial Reports, that the warm Cordiality which has ſubſiſted be⯑tween my Huſband and me ever ſince we were married, is like to abate much; at leaſt if it does not, I ſhall be more obliged to his Love and Gentleneſs of Diſpoſition, than to her Tenderneſs in talking; wherefore I humbly beſeech Aſ⯑ſiſtance [166] from your Authority to reſtrain her.

Is it not aſtoniſhing, ſays the NAMRE⯑DAL, that where Law is ſo very preciſe and plain, where alſo it is ſo generally known, that any can be found hardy enough to tranſgreſs it? Is there any Property we ſtand poſſeſſed of ſo valuable as Character? Any Happineſs equal to Peace of Mind, or any Weapons ſo dan⯑gerous as buſy Tongues? How much Cenſure do they deſerve who with Slan⯑der taint the one, or embitter the other? It is a Cruelty of the moſt affecting Kind, unprofitable, and ignominious; you then who are charged with ſuch un⯑charitable, ſuch licentious Behaviour, and to one of your own tender Sex, who are as eaſily blaſted as Flowers in the Field, ſay how can you acquit yourſelf of the Complainant's Accuſation; or on what [167] Conſideration can you plead a Mitigation of that Puniſhment, which, according to Law, falls upon the Guilty?

Moſt venerable Sir, replies the De⯑fendant, in whom dwells impartial Ju⯑ſtice, to the Charge againſt me I plead In⯑nocence, which I hope to manifeſt in few Words; TRUTH can never be Slander; our Laws, we all know, point out the Duties of our ſeveral Stations: This Woman, my Neighbour, who knows and is well able to perform all that can be re⯑quired of her, by an unuſual Influence gained over her pliant Huſband, has for ſome Time paſt prevailed on him, toge⯑ther with his own Charge, to undertake ſeveral Concerns which properly fall un⯑der her's; by which Means gaining more vacant Time than any other Woman can command, ſhe has made it her Buſineſs to run from Houſe to Houſe, promoting Idleneſs by unprofitable Converſation, [168] and making induſtrious Women uneaſy by ſneering at their commendable Appli⯑cation: Rouſed to Reſentment by ſuch Behaviour, I own I have ſaid that her Huſband ſhows himſelf weak to be ſo la⯑viſh of Indulgence, and that ſhe proves herſelf highly unworthy of it by ſuch Miſapplication. This is the Extent of my Crime, if ſuch it be, and to your Cle⯑mency I ſubmit.

This Caſe, ſays the NAMREDAL, con⯑ſidered both from the Accuſation and Defence, pronounces each Party equally guilty; you the ACCUSER, for ſhameful⯑ly withdrawing from the Duties of a good Wife under the Shelter of a Huſband's Fondneſs; and you, the ACCUSED, for being ſo very forward to publiſh your Judgment upon an Affair which in no Shape came under your Cognizance. By what Authority are you the INSPECTOR of your Neighbours? You ſhould be the [169] Friends, the Adviſers, and not the Cen⯑ſors of each other; rather ſtudious to conceal than forward to expoſe Failings of this Nature; but, ſince you are come here fraught with the Spirit of Conten⯑tion, hear your ſeveral Sentences.

You who have been ſo ready to alarm Juſtice by the Clamours of Complaint, knowing yourſelf to be guilty of at leaſt as great a Crime, ſhall for three TOIR⯑TAS loſe your Seat in the RUVENAL, and attend your Huſband there publickly as a Servitor during that Time, having the Words Retho ettibem Elbal,—An artful Wife,—labelled on your Breaſt in large Letters; and you, who have been ſo alert to proclaim a Neighbour's Failings, ſhall be enjoined ſtrict Silence for the ſame Space, being ſtigmatized with the Words Retho ſlintat Elbal,—A tatling Wife.—Hence therefore, and from the Shame you have both incurred, learn that ſocial [170] Agreement is preferable to Contention; that to correct our own Failings, to mind our own Buſineſs, and not to interfere with other People's Concerns, is the ſureſt Road to Quiet and Proſperity.

The Females being removed there ap⯑peared two Brothers, named EFFILAR and AITROTA; the former addreſſing himſelf, ſaid—AWFUL SIR, we are Bro⯑thers and Twins, not more intimately united by our Births than our Inclina⯑tions; yet as the Death of our Mother, as ſoon almoſt as we were born, has left the Elderſhip doubtful, and as, without fix⯑ing this, we cannot make any legal Set⯑tlement of our Affairs, we humbly pre⯑ſent ourſelves before your Wiſdom, and ſupplicate Advice how we may ſurmount the Difficulty; which is ſtill rendered more diſagreeable as we both love the ſame Female, but cannot prevail with [171] her to declare in Favour of either till the Point in Debate is ſettled.

Before I proceed to determine, ſays the NAMREDAL, inform me, with the moſt undiſguiſed Truth, whether you ſeek my Judgment from any View of Precedence ariſing from Elderſhip, and whether to decide in Favour of one will create any Uneaſineſs in the other? Or whether, united by the tender and natu⯑ral Tie of brotherly Love, you ſeek it ſimply from the Motives you have men⯑tioned?—They replied, ſolely from the Motives they had mentioned.

Well then, continus he, you ſhall have my Opinion; but ſome Space of Conſi⯑deration will be requiſite in ſo new a Caſe. In the mean Time, I muſt let you know that there is a poor Man, who, by Accident, is rendered incapable of con⯑tributing his Share to the common Stock, [172] wherefore he is in Danger of being re⯑moved from his Seat in the RUVENAL, the thought of which wounds him deep⯑ly; he has ſollicited Help from ſeveral, but found none; if you, or either of you, can ſpare Time to aſſiſt him, it will be an Act of great Benevolence.

To this EFFILAR replied, VENERABLE FATHER, I could wiſh that I had the Power of aſſiſting him, but my Hours are ſo limited and ſo fully employed, that the kind Wiſhes of Pity are all I can afford him.

Alas, replies AITROTA, when Affliction wounds, Wiſhes are but a poor and pain⯑ful Palliative, my Hours are limited and engaged alſo; yet, if to ſpare one Half of what is allotted for my particular Uſe can relieve him, I will moſt gladly, Oh Father, let him have it.

[173] Aye, ſays the NAMREDAL, then you have fully convinced me who is the elder; 'tis not a few Hours or a few Years that ſhould place one Man before another; he who excells in Humanity, Benevolence, and ſocial Duties, deſerves the moſt wor⯑thy Precedence; That, AITROTA, do thou enjoy, and exert thyſelf in Pity to thy Bro⯑ther; to enlarge his Heart, to ſoften his Feelings, and to create in him an Emula⯑tion of thy Goodneſs.—Here the Twins embraced, and he whom the NAMREDAL had ſet aſide, ſeemed as well pleaſed as if the Deciſion had been on his Part; only a conſcious Bluſh glow'd on his Cheek at the juſt and gentle Rebuke of the Magiſtrate.

As they were on the Point of depart⯑ing, the NAMREDAL ſaid, Hold, I re⯑member you told me that one Female had engaged the Affection of both, but that the Doubt of Elderſhip prevented her from accepting either: This appears [174] to me a Proof that ſhe is unworthy, and that ſhe ſeeks to gratify Pride more than Love; therefore let me adviſe you to bring her before me, and I'll negotiate, if poſſible, to your mutual Satisfaction; but take Heed not to mention the Deter⯑mination I have made. This Propoſal was joyfully accepted, and EFFILAR went immediately to bring the Damſel; with whom in a few Moments he return'd, when the NAMREDAL ſpoke thus to her:

Virtuous Maid, here are two Brothers, both, I underſtand, Suitors of yours; they have agreed, before me, to abide by your free and unbiaſſed Choice; ſay then, whether you will become the Wife of EFFILAR, now in Court confirmed the Elder, or throw yourſelf into the Arms of AITROTA, the Younger? (in ſaying of which he reverſed them) the Girl, with⯑out any Heſitation, fixed upon EFFILAR; when the Magiſtrate, having made her [175] repeat the Choice three or four Times, and declare that Love only ſwayed her, he informed her of the Deceit, and that in Reality ſhe had choſen the youngeſt; upon which her Colour went thro' a Va⯑riety of Changes, and ſhe appeared in the moſt painful Confuſion; which the NAM⯑REDAL perceiving, for now the Curtain was drawn from before him, he cried out, with unuſual Severity,—Thou Shame to the NOIBLAN Race; thou poor unhappy Slave of Pride, unworthy and ignorant of that pure aethereal Flame which diſinte⯑reſted Love beams into the Heart; how couldſt thou be ſo blind to thy own Hap⯑pineſs, and cruel to that of another, as to have thy choice directed by ſo falſe a Me⯑teor as Vanity? Fly, begone, worthleſs as thou art, from the Comforts and Pleaſures of Society, that thou may'ſt not again have the Opportunity to impoſe a worth⯑leſs Heart, through Recommendation of a lovely Form; I baniſh thee for five [176] RAYAMONS to OMYRCHAL, at the End of which Time thou may'ſt return, but ne⯑ver to enter the honourable State of Mar⯑riage; bring forth, ſays he, the Garment and Veil of Mourning, in which that ad⯑ventitious Merit, on which ſhe prides herſelf ſo much, may be immediately ob⯑ſcured.

At this dreadful Sentence the ſelf-be⯑tray'd Female fainted away; the Brothers could not avoid aſſiſting her, nor even ſhedding Tears; yet, in ſuch Caſes, Sen⯑tence once paſſed is irrevocable, and how⯑ever they might lament her Fate, all al⯑lowed it to be juſt.

Mercy deliver us, thought I, what a deal of Baniſhment we ſhould have in ENGLAND if ſuch a Law was to take Place; whole Swarms of the pretty, ſprightly, fluttering Animals called CO⯑QUETTES would be ſwept away, to the [177] no ſmall Diminution and Prejudice of the Beau Monde: Harmleſs Beaus would then be deprived of Subjects for Elo⯑quence; Winks, Nods, Leers, Becks, Smiles, and Ogles, the powerful Artillery of artificial Love, would be rendered uſeleſs, and the whole Oeconomy of In⯑trigue totally annihilated.

This Reverie would, in all Probabi⯑lity, have extended itſelf to a conſidera⯑ble Length, but that I was rouſed by a confuſed Noiſe ariſing from the Approach of two Diſputants, one of whom I recol⯑lected to be my old Friend BEAU NASH; the other, in Appearance, I knew nothing of. The BEAU, who ſtill retained his Badge of Office, the white Beaver, ſpoke to the NAMREDAL, as we ſhall find in the next Chapter.

CHAP. IX.

MAY it pleaſe you, Sir, I was eſteem⯑ed upon Earth a very conſiderable Perſonage; 'tis true I am in the MOON at preſent; but no Matter for that, I was MASTER of the CEREMONIES at a Place called BATH: Indeed they uſed to ſtile me KING of it; and, tho' I am no CITI⯑ZEN here, I ruled all the CITIZENS there; nay, ſcolded Ladies, cut Jokes upon Lords, directed Balls, beſpoke Plays, and did—in ſhort I did what I pleaſed: The Corporation idolized, the Long-Rooms reverenced, the Coffee-Houſes adored me: I had my STATUE ſet up in the PUMP-ROOM, not a good Likeneſs; but no Matter for that,—I was always a great Enemy to Quarrels, and therefore never ſuffer'd a Sword to be drawn in my Territories; ſo not knowing there would [179] be any Occaſion for ſuch Implements in another World, I came hither quite un⯑provided; which this grim old ROMAN being acquainted with, took the Advan⯑tage of ſuperior Strength, and Yeſterday pulled me by the Noſe all round the SALMINA RUVENAL, ſpurring me on every ſix or eight Yards with a ſevere Kick, which I think very Ungentleman⯑like Treatment, and I hope you will think ſo too, that he may be corrected for it.

The familiar Nothingneſs of this Speech occaſioned a general Smile thro' the Au⯑dience, and I obſerved that even the NAMREDAL had ſome Difficulty to com⯑mand his Muſcles; however, Reaſon and the Dignity of his Office checking other Feelings, he took Occaſion to remark, that neither of the Parties being natura⯑lized, nor any Law provided in NOIBLA againſt ſuch violent Proceedings, the Ju⯑ſtice to be adapted in this Caſe muſt lie en⯑tirely [180] upon his Judgment, which he would adminiſter with all poſſible Impartiality: For this Purpoſe he deſired the Defend⯑ant to offer his Negative, or Palliation.

The Accuſed, who was no leſs than the great CATO, delivered himſelf to the fol⯑lowing Effect: SAGE SON OF JUSTICE AND LAW, to be Competitor or Diſpu⯑tant with ſuch a Thing as now ſtands be⯑fore me, is Puniſhment equal to the high⯑eſt Crime; yet unworthy, and far beneath my Notice as he is, I ſhall enter into an Account of my Conduct, which has diſ⯑covered no Fault but that of too much Mildneſs.

This ſelf-blown Bubble has, in tracing himſelf, ſufficiently ſhewn his Emptineſs and Inſignificance; nor will it avail much to ſet the paltry Portrait in more glaring Colours than that he ſpent a Life of Four⯑ſcore Years in a motley Mixture of Vice, [181] Idleneſs, Foppery, and ridiculous Autho⯑rity; the Jeſt of ſenſible Men, the Com⯑panion of Sharpers, and Terror of dan⯑cing Girls; laughed at in Youth, and de⯑ſpiſed in Age.

How different from this the Race I run? My early Years employed in the Cultivation of my Mind; thoſe of ripen'd Manhood worn, as I may ſay, in ſtem⯑ming the Torrent of Faction;—there view a ſkipping Child of Folly—here be⯑hold a diſintereſted Son of LIBERTY;—and ſhall—Oh Heavens—this Inſect, not two Degrees above mere Inſtinct, becauſe we are met in a Region where juſt Di⯑ſtinctions ceaſe, dare to mate himſelf with CATO unchaſtiſed? No, let it not be ſaid. Rouſed by his biting Taunts, I own I did treat him in the Manner he has ſet forth; nor can I think unjuſtly; yet if Fortune, which has purſued me even hither with her Frowns, continues to torment me, I [182] cannot avoid her Malice, and therefore muſt endure it.

This Reply being concluded, in which may be diſcovered as much of Stoical Pride as the other ſhewed of Foppiſh Self-ſufficiency, the NAMREDAL diſcuſſed their Caſe in the following Manner:

It is amazing that, in this Region of Tranquillity, neither Example nor the Fear of Diſgrace, which is the moſt poignant Sting of all Puniſhment, can re⯑duce Sublunars from that turbulent Spirit ſo prevalent amongſt them.—You, NASH, continues he, who boaſt of having been ſo many Years Conductor of public Man⯑ners, ought to know better than to break untimely Jeſts upon a Man ſo much more eminent than you ever could pretend to be; notwithſtanding thoſe who think themſelves Wits on Earth may indulge a ſuppoſed Privilege of caſting their Darts [183] indiſcriminately round, we never can ſuf⯑fer it here, unleſs in Form of legal Pu⯑niſhment, ſince it is repugnant both to Reaſon and Humanity; I ſhall therefore enjoin you to obſerve an abſolute Silence for one RAYAMON, never hereafter, on any Pretence, to utter a Falſity, and to be clothed all the while of your Silence in a coarſe Garment, the direct Contraſt to that you ſeem ſo fond of.—Here the BEAU groaned deeply, and begg'd for his white Hat, but even that was denied him, which ſeemed to have ſtill a more ſenſible Effect; while CATO confeſſed a Kind of cynical Joy at ſo ridiculous a Di⯑ſtreſs; but, as the Enjoyments of ill Na⯑ture ever ſhould be, it was of very ſhort Continuance; for when he thought him⯑ſelf juſtified in his Antagoniſt's Sentence, the NAMREDAL opened his Eyes, and mortified his Pride thus:

[184] Think not, CATO, that the Conviction of him exculpates you; though you did receive ſome ſlight Offence, yet I know not any rational Syſtem that unites the ſe⯑veral Characters of Complainant, Judge, and Executioner: Beſides, there is in your Defence ſomewhat as blameable as in the former Part of your Conduct. Your Accuſer ſets forth his own Character juſt⯑ly, without throwing any Sarcaſms upon yours; he betrayed Pride, but then it is of the inoffenſive Kind.—On the con⯑trary, you have endeavoured to mount yourſelf on his poor Ruins; you have carefully diminiſhed him, and oſtenta⯑tiouſly magnified yourſelf; tho' a Man of your Reflection muſt know that the great⯑eſt Merit vaniſhes before Self-praiſe, like Chaff before the Wind: Beſides, you have enviouſly ſuppreſſed one moſt amiable Part of his Character, an induſtrious, un⯑limited Diſpoſition to Charity, which muſt have reached your Ears as well as other [185] Points relating to him.—You boaſt of Philoſophy; how comes it that, ſo armed, you could not reſtrain yourſelf from Blows, and ſuffer his Inſignificance to paſs unheeded? But the Paſſion of ungovern⯑able Pride which intoxicated you on Earth, ſtill viſibly prevails, tho' you have ſo often felt its bad Effects; in this Caſe I cannot avoid paſſing upon you the fol⯑lowing Sentence: That, after NASH has performed his Pennance, you ſhall be obliged to keep him Company for two RAYAMONS; when, by my Authrity, he may talk as much, as loud, as faſt, and vent as keen a Ridicule as he pleaſes, being at Liberty once each TOIRTA to claim the Aſſiſtance of his Aſſociates CIBBER and RICH.

Theſe Names made the Stoic ſhudder; but knowing the Matter was unavoid⯑able, he collected what Reſolution he could to carry off Appearances, and floun⯑ced [186] out of COURT with a Look of inef⯑fable Contempt, while CAESAR and POM⯑PEY, who had been liſtening from a Cor⯑ner to the whole Tranſaction, indulged their Mirth very freely on this Occaſion.

The next Complaint was a Charge of Ingratitude preferred by one Man againſt another, in which the Plaintiff ſet forth, That he had, upon ſeveral Occaſions, aſ⯑ſiſted the Defendant; that he had been induſtrious to oblige him, notwithſtand⯑ing which, continues he, forgetting the Feelings every honeſt Man ſhould have for Favours received, he has taken the firſt Opportunity of ſhewing himſelf my Enemy.

What, ſays the NAMREDAL, is it poſ⯑ſible? Can there in NOIBLA be ſuch a Wretch? INGRATITUDE, the very Men⯑tion of a Temper ſo diſgraceful to the reaſonable Nature, provokes our Indig⯑nation. [187] Shall Beaſts of the Field caſt off their Wildneſs, and enter into a grateful kind Intimacy with their Keeper? Shall the winged Inhabitants of Air come tamely to the Hand that feeds them; and ſhall Man ſteel his Heart againſt all Im⯑preſſions of Kindneſs, and all Sentiments of GRATITUDE? Oh Shame! Shame! Shame! Say thou who art complained againſt, how thou canſt wipe off ſo deep a Stain; a Stain which, were it poſſible thou couldſt have a thouſand other Vir⯑tues, would ſully and depreciate them all.

Sage and merciful ADMINISTRATOR of JUSTICE, ſays the Defendant, to de⯑ſcribe the Anxiety I feel in being even ſuppoſed capable of ſuch a Crime, re⯑quires more forcible Expreſſion than I am poſſeſſed of; it pains me too that, in my Defence, I muſt caſt ſome Cenſure upon a Man who, I acknowledge, has often done me Service; but his own pre⯑cipitate [188] Temper forces the diſagreeable Taſk upon me, and Self-defence requires me to perform it; which, however, I ſhall do in as gentle and conciſe a Man⯑ner as poſſible.

I have confeſſed myſelf indebted for Favours received; but how far the Obli⯑gation was diminiſhed by my Benefactor's public boaſting of his Kindneſs to me, at ſeveral different Times and Places, I ſub⯑mit, Oh NAMREDAL, to your impartial Determination: Notwithſtanding this, my Feelings were not leſſen'd, nor would I have neglected any proper Teſtimonies of Thankfulneſs. This Complaint of his ariſes from my having reported ſome Miſ⯑conduct I obſerved in his Family while I acted as one of the ELBIROS, weekly In⯑ſpectors; a Neceſſity irkſome in itſelf, yet at that Time unavoidable by me.

[189] Moſt certainly, replies the NAMREDAL; are Acts of Friendſhip to take the Place of Bribes? Muſt Truth and Juſtice be ſacrificed to them? Shall the delegated Truſt of public Offices be betray'd to pri⯑vate Partialities? Beſides, continues he, applying to the Plaintiff, thy mean Pro⯑clamation of thy Bounty not only dimi⯑niſhes, but even annihilates all Obliga⯑tion; hadſt thou exerted it merely to ſerve thy Friend, the ſilent delicate Plea⯑ſure of doing it would have ſufficed thee; but Oſtentation was the Principle, and being deſtitute of Virtue, it is fit thou ſhou'dſt be deſtitute of Reward for theſe Reaſons; and more particularly for im⯑peaching the Character of thy Fellow-Citizen, I conſider thee as a Criminal, and ſhall ſentence thee to act as his Ser⯑vant three REAPANS, and once each TOIRTA to make a public Acknowledge⯑ment of thy Guilt in the RUVENAL, ſol⯑liciting his Forgiveneſs.

[190] Here the Defendant earneſtly implo⯑red a Remiſſion of the Sentence, remark⯑ing that it would be as painful to him as to the condemn'd Perſon; and that he was certain this public Repulſe would correct that Impatience of Diſpoſition which led him into Error.—Well, ſays the NAMREDAL, I yield to thy humane and generous Sollicitation, which, for ma⯑licious Proſecution, returns the gentle Balm of Mercy: Depart full of that Sa⯑tisfaction a generous Heart muſt fee [...] from alleviating or averting Diſtreſs; and thou, unworthy Object of this Goodneſs, endeavour, by a zealous Reformation, to deſerve ſo valuable a Friend.

The next Subject of Judicial Conſide⯑ration, which came before the NAMRE⯑DAL, was an Accuſation againſt a young Man for uttering ſome Expreſſions in⯑conſiſtent with Modeſty before a Com⯑pany of Females: As he acknowledged [191] the Circumſtances at large, and reſted his Cauſe on the Clemency of the Court, nothing more paſſed but the following Remarks made, and Sentence paſſed by the Magiſtrate.

Haſt thou not been taught—Oh in⯑conſiderate Youth—that MODESTY ſhould be held ever ſacred? That it is the Shield of Virtue, and, if once penetrated by the Stings of Vice, ſcarce admits Re⯑pair? Like Snow it diſcovers the ſmalleſt Speck that chances to light upon it, and as that watry Conſiſtence melts away before the Sun, ſo MODESTY vaniſhes before the Heat of inordinate Paſſions, or even Words expreſſive of thoſe Paſſions.—Wouldſt thou preſerve Purity in Feed⯑ing, and yet defile thy Mouth with im⯑pure Language? Haſt thou no more Re⯑gard for Society than to vent ſuch perni⯑cious Poiſon? Will it pleaſe thee to breathe Infection that may blaſt the Roſes [192] of Beauty? Art thou endowed with Rea⯑ſon to make it an Inſtrument of Good or Evil? If of Good, how canſt thou employ it to wound the tender and delicate Ear of VIRTUE? If of Evil, like thoſe veno⯑mous and nauſeous Animals, which are equally dangerous and loathſome, thou ſhouldſt be ſhunn'd and excluded from Society.

Thus much I have ſpoke, if Shame be not dead in thee, to rouſe it. What re⯑mains for me is to paſs the Sentence eſta⯑bliſhed by Law for ſuch Offences; which is, that barefooted, with thy Head un⯑covered, and the Words, Retho eſol na it⯑ſedom,—A Foe to Modeſty,—on thy Breaſt; thou art to be publickly led thro' NOD⯑NOL ſix Days ſucceſſively, and afterwards in the ſame Manner thro' every ARESAL in the whole Iſland of NOIBLA; during which Space thou art disfranchiſed from all thy Rights and Privileges as a Citizen.

[193] After this a grave Man and a young Female made their Appearance, and the Man ſpoke to this Effect: I am, VENE⯑RABLE NAMREDAL, Father of this young Woman now brought before you, and in that Relation have always exerted my tendereſt Care, as well from natural Af⯑fection as from the Principle of parental Duty; I have not only ſtudiouſly culti⯑vated her Mind, which I have found moſt apt and teachable, but I have alſo, upon all Occaſions, allowed her every prudent Indulgence; like a delicate and beauteous Flower ſhe has flouriſhed un⯑der my Care, yet it grieves me to add that, for ſome Time paſt, ſhe has con⯑ducted herſelf in a Manner very contra⯑dictory to my Opinion, which I take to ariſe from an Intimacy ſhe has contracted with a Female lately arrived from the nether World. By our Inſtitutions all Women are dreſſed in the ſame Kind of [194] Materials, therefore ſhe cannot have Va⯑riety of Garments, yet has ſhe an infinite Number of what ſhe calls FASHIONS; ſometimes long Sleeves, ſometimes ſhort; ſometimes Wings as if ſhe was going to fly, then bare as an unfeather'd Pinion; ſometimes a Tail ſweeping the Ground, then ſo much curtail'd that half her Legs may be ſeen; beſides which, tho' I have often pointed out agreeable Partners for Marriage, ſhe puts me off with ſaying ſhe cannot give up her Liberty yet; that ſuch a one is not handſome enough; that another is not witty; a third has no Spi⯑rits, and many other ſuch-like trifling Evaſions; notwithſtanding which ſhe is never eaſy but when flaunting with Men: This I have often remonſtrated againſt, but to no Purpoſe; and of late ſhe has had the Confidence to tell me that Men in Years were no Judges of what was fit for young Women; wherefore, Oh FA⯑THER [195] of NODNOL, I have brought her hither for your Wiſdom and Authority to influence.

Aye, replies the NAMREDAL, have we Diſobedience and a Contempt of parental Power creeping in amongſt us? If ſo, adieu to Order, Peace, Virtue, and ſo⯑cial Happineſs.—Pray, young Madam, how have you ventured to depart ſo far from the Obligations of Nature and the ſtrict Laws of this Iſland? If you have any Apology, any Plea, make it, and I ſhall attend.

The poor Girl, covered with extreme Confuſion, had ſcarce Power to utter the following broken Sentences; that ſhe lo⯑ved her Father very well, and had a great Pleaſure in obeying him, but that the COUNTESS of—, (her Title is omitted in Reſpect of ſome living) lately arrived from ENGLAND, told her, Fathers were [196] ſuch chuff Fellows, who would not wil⯑lingly allow their Children any Pleaſures; that no Girl of Spirit ſhould mind them; that if ſhe married it would cut of all Ad⯑mirers; that by keeping Company with different Men ſhe would have a better Choice; and that making Cloaths in va⯑rious FASHIONS would ſet her off to more Advantage.

A very hopeful Account, truly, ſays the Magiſtrate, and for all this ſenſible, kind Inſtruction you are indebted to the COUNTESS. Upon my Word it would be great Pity, and reflect upon us much Diſgrace, if ſo public-ſpirited a Lady, who would reform our Manners, teach us Elegance for Simplicity, and Spirit for Prudence, ſhould go unrewarded; wherefore, Oh ye Citizens, you who this Day give Force to Law, take Notice that I ſentence the ſaid COUNTESS, without Hope of Redemption, to the VALLEY of [197] WEEPING; there let her expatiate on Taſte; there let her diſplay faſhionable Knowledge; there ſet up the vain Idols of her frantic Brain.

As for you, young Daughter, conti⯑nued the NAMREDAL, who have been led aſtray thro' Inexperience, I ſhall endea⯑vour to inform you better, by remarking upon each Particular of what you have ſaid; this the Duty of the Magiſterial Office requires, and my Duty is enforced by thoſe tender and ſympathetic Feelings which urge us to guard or reſcue natural Innocence from artificial Guilt.

Firſt, then, as to the Love of your Fa⯑ther; I grant it may be affectionate, but it cannot be truly filial or perfect without an unlimited Obedience to his Authority, and an implicit Compliance with his Pre⯑cepts; which, you may be ſatisfied, are both exerted to promote your Welfare [198] and Happineſs. I know that he and you view Things in a very different Light, as Age and Youth ever do; the Vivacity of the latter, like an impatient Courſer, ſtruggles for the full and dangerous Stretch of natural Liberty, while the for⯑mer is making. Uſe of the prudential Check-Rein of Reſtraint.—Conſider, Age ſees Actions and Circumſtances in their true Shape, and diſcerns what Con⯑ſequences they lead on to; while Youth, looking through Paſſion-tainted Optics, views them colour'd according to their Fancy and their Wiſh; hence therefore the Opinions and Advice of experienced Elders, of Parents eſpecially, ſhould be allowed all due Influence.

Your Choice in Marriage is, by the Laws of the Iſland, undoubtedly free, and Reaſon ſanctifies thoſe Laws, there⯑fore in this Point you have no Compul⯑ſion to fear; but Freedom is not in⯑fringed [199] by the cordial Advice of thoſe who have your Proſperity at Heart. As to the idle Notion of loſing Liberty and Admirers by taking a Huſband, nothing can be more abſurd; true Liberty does not conſiſt in a licentious Indulgence of Follies and Proſtitution of Time, but in an uncontrouled, voluntary, prudent Pur⯑ſuit of Virtue and domeſtic Happineſs, to which the very Name of Admirers is a Bane, I mean Admirers of external Charms only; for of thoſe who admire the unfading Beauties of the Mind, who can gain more than ſhe who diſtinguiſhes her⯑ſelf by the eminent and moſt amiable Title of A good Wife? She has number⯑leſs Opportunities of commanding Praiſe, which the ſingle State affords not; in that Character are comprized ſuch invincible Charms as brave the Attacks of Sorrow, Pain, Sickneſs, and even Death itſelf; the Matrimonial Union collects into a Train of uniform, ſolid, and laſting Enjoyment, [200] that Happineſs which in Celibacy is dif⯑fuſed variable and imperfect.

By aſſociating with a Variety of Gal⯑lants you think Power and Choice en⯑larged; it may be ſo, but then it becomes dangerous, ſince nothing can be more prejudicial to the Character of a young Woman, nothing more repugnant to Prudence; and tho' it be not an abſolute Violation of Virtue, yet is it a great Ble⯑miſh in her Reputation, for even Appear⯑ances of what is wrong ſhould be avoid⯑ed; in the Eye of Reaſon the Proſtitution of the Mind, which certainly leads to it, is little leſs offenſive than the Proſtitution of the Perſon.

As to the Variation of Faſhion, which is in itſelf childiſh, it may poſſibly add ſomewhat to Attraction of Features; nor would there be any great Matter of Of⯑fence in it, but for the Time it muſt ne⯑ceſſarily [201] engroſs, and the unprofitable Emulation it muſt create of outvying each other in Trifles, when all our Con⯑teſt ſhould be to gain an honourable Di⯑ſtinction in the Race of public and pri⯑vate Virtues.—Dreſſing to draw Admirers is one of the pooreſt Baits of Folly; Neat⯑neſs is agreeable to Reaſon and Nature, and equally eſſential to Maid and Wife; more is at beſt but idle Superfluity.

Lock up theſe Remarks, fair Daugh⯑ter, in your Heart; think not that, being grave, they are ſevere; entertain a grate⯑ful Remembrance of your Father's kind Attention to your Welfare; give Heed to his Advice, Obedience to his Commands, and on ſuch Conditions I will not only free you from Puniſhment, but even from Cenſure.

Having thus concluded, the Father re⯑verently made Obeiſance to him, and the [202] Girl returned ſilent Thanks in Tears of penitent Joy. So terminated the Buſi⯑neſs of the Day; when the NAMREDAL, deſcending from his Judgment-Seat, con⯑ducted me, thro' the attending Citizens, to the Dining-Hall; when ſeated, he aſk⯑ed me how I liked their Court of Judica⯑ture, which occaſioned me to break out into a rapturous Exclamation: Happy! ſupremely happy NOIBLANS! among whom Juſtice appears in her own un⯑adorned, modeſt, native Dignity, not ar⯑ray'd in the Fool's Coat of Tricks and Equivocation: Where the Magiſtrate is indeed a Parent of the People; where un⯑incumber'd Reaſon takes its free Courſe without paſſing through the Windings and inextricable Confuſion of Sophiſtry; where Innocence and Guilt are contraſted with judicious Impartiality; where Riches, Rank, or Power, never appear to influ⯑ence; but where the calm determined Voice of Equity, ſpeaking with the Or⯑gans [203] of Truth, not only impreſſes Con⯑viction, but even commands Approba⯑tion from thoſe who receive Cenſure or Puniſhment.

I am much pleaſed, replies the NAM⯑REDAL, that you conſider this Part of the NOIBLAN Inſtitution in the ſame Light as I do; other Peculiarities which you have met with ſince your Arrival in theſe Regi⯑ons, I know cannot ſo well ſuit the active Spirit of a SUBLUNAR Being.—There is a general and amiable Tranquillity here, but then it is founded upon Principles which entirely reſtrain progreſſive Knowledge; all here think themſelves ſufficiently wiſe, ſufficiently happy; they ſeek to know no more than they are already acquainted with, nor to poſſeſs any Thing better than what their Fathers have enjoyed: This will appear to you a mental Lethar⯑gy, and undoubtedly it is ſuch; but many [204] Advantages accrue from ſuch a Mode of thinking, which are in themſelves ſo evi⯑dent that I need not point them out, eſpecially as you will next Week have an Opportunity of hearing ſomewhat more at large upon this Topic, when all the NAMREDALS of the Iſland come to their annual Conference at NODNOL.

The MOUNT of OBSERVATION, the VALLEY of WEEPING, the ESTRALAM, NEROMA, with other Subjects worthy of Obſervation, will afford you Matter of very agreeable and not unuſeful Speculation.

Here the BELL of NOON gave Warn⯑ing for Dinner, and interrupted a Con⯑verſation which would probably have ex⯑tended itſelf to a conſiderable Length. Here alſo, kind Readers, after converſing and travelling ſo far together, I hope on friendly Terms, you will think it fit that, [205] for a while at leaſt, we ſhould part: If you are inclined to accompany me any farther in this extraordinary Progreſs, I ſhall attend your Call, and in the mean Time I bid you heartily farewell.