Article I
For Saturday May 11th, 1728. To be continued Weekly.

IT may be said, without offence to other Cities, of much greater consequence in the World, that our Town of Dublin doth not want it's due proportion of Folly, and Vice, both Native and Imported; And as to those Imported, we have the advantage to receive them last, and consequently after our happy manner to improve, and refine upon them.

But, because there are many Effects of Folly and Vice among us, whereof some are general, others confined to smaller Numbers, and others again, perhaps to a few individuals; There is a Society lately established, who at great expence, have Erected an Office of Intelligence, from which they are to receive Weekly Information of all Important Events and Singularities, which this famous Metropolis can furnish. Strict injunctions are given to have the truest Information: In order to which, certain qualified Persons are employed to attend upon Duty in their several Posts; some at the Play-house, others in Churches, some at Balls, Assemblees, Coffee-houses, and meetings for Quadrille; some at the several Courts of Justice, both Spiritual and Temporal, some at the College, some upon my Lord Mayor and Aldermen in their publick Affairs; lastly, some to converse with favourite Chamber-maids, and to frequent those Ale-houses, and Brandy-Shops, where the Footmen of great Families meet in a Morning; only the Barracks and Parliament-house are excepted; because we have yet found no enfans perdus bold enough to venture their Persons at either. Out of these and some other Store-houses, we hope to gather Materials enough to Inform, or Divert, or Correct, or Vex the Town.

But as Facts, Passages, and Adventures of all kinds, are like to have the greatest share in our Paper, whereof we cannot always Answer for the Truth; due Care shall be taken to have them applyed to feigned Names, whereby all just Offence will be removed; for if none be guilty, none will have cause to Blush or be Angry; if otherwise, then the guilty Person is safe for the future upon his present Amendment, and safe for the present, from all but his own Conscience.

There is another Resolution taken among us, which I fear will give a greater and more general discontent, and is of so singular a Nature, that I have hardly confidence enough to mention it, although it be absolutely Necessary by way of Apology, for so bold and unpopular an Attempt. But so it is, that we have taken a desperate Counsel to produce into the World every distinguished Action, either of Justice, Prudence, Generosity, Charity, Friendship, or publick Spirit, which comes well attested to us. And although we shall neither here be so daring as to Assign Names, yet we shall hardly forbear to give some hints, that perhaps to the great displeasure of such deserving Persons may endanger a Discovery. For we think that even Virtue it self, should submit to such a Mortification, as by it's visibility and example, will render it more useful to the World. But however, the Readers of these Papers, need not be in pain of being over-charged, with so dull and ungrateful a Subject. And yet who knows, but such an occasion may be offered to us, once in a Year or two, after we shall have settled a Correspondence round the Kingdom.

But after all our boasts of Materials, sent us by our several Emissaries, we may probably soon fall short, if the Town will not be pleased to lend us further Assistance towards entertaining it self. The World best knows it's own Faults and Virtues, and whatever is sent shall be faithfully returned back, only a little Embellished according to the Custom of AUTHORS. We do therefore Demand and Expect continual Advertisements in great Numbers, to be sent to the PRINTER of this Paper, who hath employed a Judicious Secretary to Collect such as may be most useful for the Publick.

And although we do not intend to expose our own Persons by mentioning Names, yet we are so far from requiring the same Caution in our Correspondents, that on the contrary, we expressly Charge and Command them, in all the Facts they send us, to set down the Names, Titles, and Places of Abode at length; together with a very particular Description of the Persons, Dresses, and Dispositions of the several Lords, Ladies, Squires, Madams, Lawyers, Gamesters, Toupees, Sots, Wits, Rakes, and Informers, whom they shall have occasion to mention; otherwise it will not be possible for us to adjust our Style to the different Qualities, and Capacities of the Persons concerned, and Treat them with the Respect or Familiarity, that may be due to their Stations and Characters, which we are Determined to observe with the utmost strictness, that none may have cause to Complain.

Article II

MY design, in Writing this Paper, being chiefly to expose such Barbarians, who think themselves exempt from those Laws of Hospitality, which have, through all Ages and Countries, been observed by the best and most distinguished part of Mankind; I hope I shall, even in my own Country, find Persons enough, to joyn with me in a hearty detestation of a certain Country-Squire, at the Relation of the following Fact, which I shall tell without the least Aggravation, or Partiality.

Two Clergy-men, of some Distinction, Travelling to the Country for their Health, happened to set up together in a small Village, which was under the Dominion of a certain Animal, dignified with a brace of Titles, that of a Militia-Collonel, and a Squire. One of these Gentlemen standing in the Street, and observing a Coach-man driving his Coach and four Horses furiously against him, turned into the close Passage between his Inn and the Sign-post, but the Coach-man, instead of driving through the middle of the Street, which was the usual and most commodious way, turned short, and Drove full upon the Gentleman, without any Notice, so that he was on a sudden enclosed between the fore-horses, and if his Friend and another Gentleman, who were in the middle of the Street, had not suddenly cryed out to stop the Coach, he must have unavoidably been trodden under the Horses Feet, and his Body bruised to Death by the Wheels running over him. His Friend who saw with Terror what had like to have befallen him, full of Indignation, repaired immediately to the aforesaid Squire or Collonel (to whom he was told the Equipage belonged) with a Complaint against his Coach-man. But the Squire instead of expressing any Concern, or offering any Redress, sent the Doctor away with the following Answer. Sir, I have a great Regard for your Cloath, and have sent my Coach-man to ask your Friend's Pardon; for one of your Servants this moment, told me what had happened. But, Sir, said the Doctor, do you think that is sufficient? I dare venture to affirm, if the like had befallen you, within the Liberties of my Friend, and you were brought to the same Danger by his Servant, he would not only have him Punished, but at the same time, he would discharge him his Service. Sir, (said the Collonel) I tell you again, that I have sent my Coach-man to ask his Pardon, and I think that is enough, which he spoke with some sturdiness; and well he might; for he had two Cannons at his Back. Good God, said the Doctor to himself, (when he had got out of Gun-shot) what a Hottentot have I been talking to! who so little values the Life of a Gentleman, and as it happen'd that very Gentleman, to whom the Nation hath in a particular manner been obliged. Back he went full of Resentment, for the slighting Treatment his Friend met with, and very Candidly reported all that passed; who being a Man of a different Spirit from that wretched Collonel, ordered one of his Servants to Write the following Letter.

SIR, MY Master commanded me to tell you, That if you do not punish and turn off that Villain your Coach-man, he will think there was a Design upon his Life, I put this in Writing for fear of mistakes,

I am your humble Servant to command

A. R.

The Superscription was, FOR SQUIRE WETHER, or some such Name.

This Letter was delivered, and away went the Travellers. They had not Rode far, before they fell into the Company of a Gentleman, a degree above the common Level, and who seemed to be a Man of Candor and Integrity, which encouraged them to recount what had happened. He said in Answer, that they had a narrow escape; and it was a Wonder that the whole Town did not fall upon them at once, and worry them; for the People there, had little or no Devotion, besides what was engaged to the Squire, as an Effect of the Terrors, they lay under from their Landlord, who Rode them all down, as poor as his Fox-hunters. After this he took occasion with great Modesty, and Decency, to draw his Character, which was to the following purpose. That the Squire had about fifteen hundred Pounds a Year, and lived in a long White-Barn; where no Man living was one Farthing the better for him. That his Piety consisted in Six Psalms every Day after Dinner, without one Drop of Wine. That he had once reduced a certain Reverend Dean, plumper than any two of his Brethren, to be as slender about the Waste as a Weazle by a Fortnight Scouring of bad Ale, to which the Dean was not accustomed. That his hospitality was within the enclosure of a Rampart, with a Draw-bridge. That if any Gentleman was admitted by chance, his entertainment was lean Salt-beef, sour Beer, and Muddy Ale. That his Charity was as much upon the catch as a Pick-pocket; for his method was to bring others to erect Charity-Schools, by promising his Assistance, and so leaving them in the Lurch.

That without the least Tincture of Learning, he was a great pretender to Oratory and Poetry, and eminently bad at both, which (I hope I shall be excused the Digression) brings to my Memory a Character, given by Julius Capitolinus of the Emperor VERUS. Melior quidem Orator fuisse dicitur, quam Poeta; imo (ut verius dicam) pejor Poeta quam Rhetor, (viz.) He was a better Orator than Poet, but, to speak the thing more properly, He was a viler Poet than an Orator. But to give you a Specimen of his Genius, I shall repeat an Epigram of his own Composition (and I am very sure it is every Line his own, without any help) which is drawn by a Sign-Dawber on the Cross-board of a Ferry-boat, in Characters that have hitherto stood the Fury of all Weathers.

The behaviour of this Squire being of the most Savage kind, I think my self obliged out of the tender Regard, which I bear to all Strangers, and Travellers, to animadvert upon him in as gentle a manner as the occasion will allow. And therefore I shall first lay down a few Postulatums. That every Travelling-Gentleman is presumed to be under the Protection of the Governing-Mayor, Sovereign, Portriff, or Squire of the Town or Village, which he happens to make his Stage. That the Laws of Humanity, Hospitality and Civility, oblige him, if there be no Accommodation in the Publick Houses, fit for a Person of Distinction, to invite him to his own, or supply the Deficiencies as well as he can. That if any Insult or Injury be offered either to such a stranger, or his Servants, the Squire is obliged to justify, vindicate, and espouse their Cause. This was the method observed among the civilized People of the old Jewish, and Heathen World; Where we find some of the Patriarchs themselves condescending to wash the Feet of such Travellers, as they entertained. And so sacred was the Regard for Strangers among the Heathens, that they dignifyed their Supreme GOD with the Title of Jupiter Hospitalis. Nothing was thought so monstrous as to offer any Violence to Sojourners among them, which was so religiously observed, that it became the glory of the most distinguished Heroes, to destroy and extirpate such as were remarkable for their Cruelty to Strangers. This it was, which added so much glory to the character of Theseus, for the Punishments he inflicted on Sisiphus, Procrustes, &c. It was owing likewise to a generous Indignation, That Hercules threw Diomede (The Collonel and Squire of that Age) to be devoured by those Horses, which he fed with the Flesh of poor Travellers, and I find upon enquiry that they were Coach- Horses too. I shall make no farther remark upon this, nor Application, but say to the Squire, That it is very happy for him the present Age has not one Hercules left, or a Week would not pass, before he should feel the weight of that Heroe's Club, or be thrown by way of Reprizal under his own Horses feet. And I may farther add, that in this whole Kingdom, from one end of it to the other, another Squire could not be found, who would behave himself in the same manner to the same Person; but Hundreds, who on the Contrary, would have given all the Satisfaction, that Gentlemen of Justice, Humanity, and common Benevolence ought to do, upon the like accident, although they had never seen him before. I confess this Paper contains nothing besides a dry Fact, and a few occasional Observations upon it. But in the former I told my READERS, that Facts would be the chief part of the Entertainment, I meant to give them. If what I have said, may have any Effect on the Person concerned, (to whom care shall be taken to send this Account) or if it helps to revive the old spirit of Hospitality among us, or at least begets a Detestation of the like inhuman Use in others; one part of my design is answered. However, it cannot be unseasonable to expose Malice, Avarice, Brutality, and Hypocrisie, wherever we find it.

Article III

THE Players having now almost done with the Comedy, called the Beggars Opera, for this Season, it may be no unpleasant Speculation, to reflect a little upon this Dramatick Piece, so singular in the Subject, and the manner, so much an Original, and which hath frequently given so very agreeable an Entertainment.

Although an evil Tast be very apt to prevail, both here, and in London, yet there is a point which whoever can rightly Touch, will never fail of pleasing a very great Majority; so great, that the Dislikers, out of Dulness or Affectation will be silent, and forced to fall in with the Herd; the point I mean, is what we call Humour, which in its Perfection is allowed to be much preferable to Wit, if it be not rather the most useful, and agreeable Species of it.

I agree with Sir William Temple, that the Word is peculiar to our English Tongue, but I differ from him in the Opinion, that the thing it self is peculiar to the English Nation, because the contrary may be found in many Spanish, Italian, and French Productions, and particularly, whoever hath a Tast for True Humour, will find a Hundred Instances of it in those Volumes Printed in France, under the Name of Le Theatre Italien, to say nothing of Rabelais, Cervantes, and many others.

Now I take the Comedy or Farce, (or whatever Name the Criticks will allow it) called the Beggars Opera; to excell in this Article of Humour. And, upon that Merit, to have met with such prodigious success both here, and in England.

As to Poetry, Eloquence, and Musick, which are said to have most Power over the minds of Men, it is certain that very few have a Tast or Judgment of the Excellencies of the two former, and if a Man succeeds in either, it is upon the Authority of those few Judges, that lend their Taste to the bulk of Readers, who have none of their own. I am told there are as few good Judges in Musick, and that among those who Crowd the Operas, Nine in Ten go thither meerly out of Curiosity, Fashion, or Affectation.

But a Taste for Humour is in some manner fixed to the very Nature of Man, and generally Obvious to the Vulgar, except upon Subjects too refined, and Superior to their Understanding.

And as this Taste of Humour is purely Natural, so is Humour it self, neither is it a Talent confined to Men of Wit, or Learning; for we observe it sometimes among common Servants, and the meanest of the People, while the very Owners are often Ignorant of the Gift they possess.

I know very well, that this happy Talent is contemptibly Treated by Criticks, under the Name of low Humour, or low Comedy; but I know likewise, that the Spaniards and Italians, who are allowed to have the most Wit of any Nation in Europe, do most excell in it, and do most esteem it.

By what Disposition of the mind, what Influence of the Stars, or what Situation of the Clymate this endowment is bestowed upon Mankind, may be a Question fit for Philosophers to Discuss. It is certainly the best Ingredient towards that kind of Satyr, which is most useful, and gives the least Offence; which instead of lashing, Laughs Men out of their Follies, and Vices, and is the Character which gives Horace the Preference to Juvenal.

And although some things are too Serious, Solemn, or Sacred to be turned into Ridicule, yet the Abuses of them are certainly not, since it is allowed that Corruption in Religion, Politicks, and Law, may be proper Topicks for this kind of Satyr.

There are two ends that Men propose in Writing Satyr, one of them less Noble than the other, as regarding nothing further than personal Satisfaction, and pleasure of the Writer; but without any View towards Personal Malice; The other is a Publick Spirit, prompting Men of Genius and Virtue, to mend the World as far as they are able. And as both these ends are innocent, so the latter is highly commendable. With Regard to the former, I demand whether I have not as good a Title to Laugh, as Men have to be Ridiculous, and to expose Vice, as another hath to be Vicious. If I Ridicule the Follies and Corruptions of a Court, a Ministry, or a Senate; are they not amply payed by Pensions, Titles, and Power, while I expect and desire no other Reward, than that of Laughing with a few Friends in a Corner. Yet, if those, who take Offence, think me in the Wrong, I am ready to Change the Scene with them, whenever they please.

But if my Design be to make Mankind better, then I think it is my Duty, at least I am sure it is the Interest of those very Courts and Ministers, whose Follies or Vices I Ridicule, to reward me for my good Intentions; For, if it be reckoned an high point of Wisdom to get the Laughers on our side, it is much more easy, as well as Wise to get those on our side, who can make Millions Laugh when they please.

My Reason for mentioning Courts, and Ministers, (whom I never think on, but with the most profound Veneration) is because an Opinion obtains, that in the Beggars Opera there appears to be some Reflections upon Courtiers and States- Men, whereof I am by no means a Judge.

It is true indeed that Mr. GAY, the Author of this Piece, hath been somewhat singular in the Course of his Fortunes, for it hath happened, that after Fourteen Years attending the Court, with a large Stock of real Merit, a Modest, and Agreeable Conversation, a Hundred Promises, and five Hundred Friends, he hath failed of Preferment, and upon a very Weighty Reason. He lay under the Suspicion of having Written a Libel, or Lampoon against a great M------ It is true that great M------ was demonstratively convinced, and publickly owned his Conviction, that Mr. Gay was not the Author; but having lain under the Suspicion, it seemed very just, that he should suffer the Punishment; because in this most reformed Age, the Virtues of a great M------ are no more to be suspected, than the Chastity of Cæsar's Wife.

It must be allowed, That the Beggars-Opera is not the first of Mr. Gay's Works, wherein he hath been faulty, with regard to Courtiers and States-Men. For, to omit his other Pieces, even in his Fables, published within two Years past, and Dedicated to the D. of Cumberland, for which he was PROMISED a Reward; he hath been thought somewhat too bold upon Courtiers. And although it is highly probable, he meant only the Courtiers of former times, yet he acted unwarily, by not considering, that the Malignity of some people might misinterpret what he said to the disadvantage of present Persons, and Affairs.

But I have now done with Mr. Gay as a Politician, and shall consider him henceforward only as Author of the Beggars Opera, wherein he hath by a turn of Humor, entirely New, placed Vices of all Kinds in the strongest and most odious Light; and thereby done eminent Service, both to Religion and Morality. This appears from the unparallel'd Success he hath met with. All Ranks, Parties and Denominations of Men, either crowding to see his Opera, or reading it with delight in their Closets, even Ministers of State, whom he is thought to have most offended (next to those whom the Actors more immediately represent) appearing frequently at the Theatre, from a consciousness of their own Innocence, and to convince the World how unjust a Parallel, Malice, Envy, and Disaffection to the Government have made.

I am assured that several worthy Clergy-Men in this City, went privately to see the Beggars-Opera represented; and that the fleering Coxcombs in the Pit, amused themselves with making Discoveries, and spreading the Names of those Gentlemen round the Audience.

I shall not pretend to vindicate a Clergy-Man, who would appear openly in his Habit at a Theatre, among such a vicious Crew, as would probably stand round him, and at such lewd Comedies, and prophane Tragedies as are often represented. Besides I know very well, that Persons of their Function are bound to avoid the appearance of Evil, or of giving cause of Offence. But when the Lords Chancellors, who are Keepers of the King's Conscience, when the Judges of the Land, whose Title is Reverend, when Ladies, who are bound by the Rules of their Sex, to the strictest Decency, appear in the Theatre without Censure, I cannot understand, why a young Clergy-man who goes concealed out of Curiosity to see an innocent and moral Play, should be so highly condemned; nor do I much approve the Rigor of a great P----te who said, he hoped none of his Clergy were there. I am glad to hear there are no weightier Objections against that Reverend Body, planted in this City, and I wish there never may. But I should be very sorry that any of them should be so weak, as to imitate a COURT-CHAPLAIN in England, who preached against the Beggars-Opera, which will probably do more good than a thousand Sermons of so stupid, so injudicious, and so prostitute a Divine.

In this happy Performance of Mr. Gay, all the Characters are just, and none of them carried beyond Nature, or hardly beyond Practice. It discovers the whole System of that Common-Wealth, or that Imperium in Imperio of Iniquity, established among us, by which neither our Lives, nor our Properties are secure, either in the High-ways, or in publick Assemblies, or even in our own Houses. It shews the miserable Lives, and the constant Fate of those abandoned Wretches; for how little they sell their Lives and Souls; betrayed by their Whores; their Comrades; and the Receivers and Purchasers of these Thefts and Robberies. This Comedy contains likewise a Satyr, which, although it doth by no means affect the present Age, yet might have been useful in the former and may possibly be so in Ages to come. I mean where the Author takes occasion of comparing those common Robbers to Robbers of the Publick; and their several Stratagems of betraying, undermining, and hanging each other, to the several Arts of Politicians in times of Corruption.

This Comedy likewise exposeth with great Justice, that unnatural Taste for Italian Musick among us, which is wholly unsuitable to our Northern Climat, and the genius of the People, whereby we are over-run with Italian-Effeminacy, and Italian Nonsence. An old Gentleman said to me, that many Years ago, when the practice of an unnatural Vice grew so frequent in London, that many were Prosecuted for it, he was sure it would be a Fore-runner of Italian-Opera's, and Singers; and then we should want nothing but Stabbing or Poysoning, to make us perfect Italians.

Upon the Whole, I deliver my Judgment, That nothing but servile Attachment to a Party, affectation of Singularity, lamentable Dullness, mistaken Zeal, or studied Hypocrisy, can have the least reasonable Objection against this excellent Moral-performance of the CELEBRATED MR. GAY.

Article IV

AMONG all the Amusements, invented by the idle part of Mankind, to pass away their Time, there is not one, which is attended with so many Evil Consequences as that of Gaming, nor indeed any so much below the Dignity of Human-Nature, it being an Employment so Trifling in Appearance, that a Man with a Box and Dice, is hardly distinguishable from a Child with it's Rattle, nor when he Diverts himself with a few scraps of Painted Paste-board, does he make one whit a better figure.

But setting Appearances of this kind aside, which can make even the Wisest look Ridiculous, I shall chiefly Dwell upon the more solid Evils, that attend all intemperate practitioners in this way, and these I shall Sum up in the following Losses, viz. Loss of Time; Loss of Reputation; Loss of Health; Loss of Fortune; Loss of Temper; and what is often the Effect of it, the Loss of Life it self.

First, That it is a Loss of Time, is plain, because our Time may be employ'd to more advantage; for by Six Hours in the twenty four, I can make my self Wiser, and better, and Richer; whereas on the Contrary, by Cards or Dice, I do Infallibly grow more Stupid, and Worse; and a Hundred to One against me I grow Poorer.

Secondly, That it is a Loss of Reputation, and Esteem in the World, is easily proved, because no Man of Reputation or Esteem was ever called a Gamester; Eo. vice versa, No Gamester can be called a Man of Reputation and Esteem. For in giving the best Characters to Men or Women, we never use the Word Gaming as an Epithet. We say, for Instance, A great and Glorious King; A wise and a good Governor; A learned and a Pious Bishop; An unbiassed and just Chancellor; a Virtuous and a Modest Lady, and so through the best Degrees of Men and Women. But how odly would it sound, if we should take out the latter Epithet from each of these, and put in their stead the Word Gaming. And say, A Wise and a Gaming King; A Learned and a Gaming Bishop; An unbiassed and Gaming Chancellor; A Virtuous and a Gaming Lady, &c. From which it is plain, that Gaming must stand and agree with the worst Characters; For it Sounds very well to say, A Profligate Gaming Spendthrift; A Notorious Gaming Sharper; A Swearing Gaming Bully. And the same Epithet will agree as well with Pick-pockets, Rakes, Highway-men, and others of that distinguished Race of Mankind.

Thirdly, That it is a Loss of Health follows from the Sedentary Life, to which those who follow Gaming are confined; whence, as I am told by a knowing Physician, proceed Dropsies, Gouts, Gravel, and Stone in the Men; and in the Women, Tympanies of both kinds, Hystericks, Vapours, and a load of bad Humours, for want of those Exercises, which produce Perspiration, and Evacuations necessary to Invigorate, Strengthen, and preserve the Animal Oeconomy, free from those Numerous Distempers, which Laziness and Sloth produce.

Fourthly, That it is a Loss of Fortune is out of all Dispute, from the Numberless Instances, I cou'd give of Lords, Ladies, and Squires, some of whom have lost their whole Estates; others the most part; others again have laid themselves under such difficulties, that their Annual Income has fallen very short to supply them with the Common Necessaries of Life; so that they have been obliged to live upon the Credit of the ensuing Year.

And as for Ladies whose Pride would not permit them to be so obliged to their Creditors, they either pawn their Houshold Moveables, or Sell (what next to Gaming, goes nearest to their Heart), their very Parapharnalia; but this I must Remark, has happend chiefly among those who have been seduced as Cullies to the Fashionable Game of Quadrill. It will not be here Foreign to my purpose, to Write down some few Inventories of Goods, lately hawked about by trusty Chamber-maids.

Belonging to Lady FLAVIA near Stephen's-Green. 1 Diamond Necklace, 1 Pair of Diamond Ear-Rings, 3 Diamond- Rings, and a Gold Watch with Trinckets.

To Mrs. DORINDA of Dawson-Street. 2 Large Silver-Cups, 3 Salvers, 2 Pair of Candlesticks, 1 Silver Sauce-Pan.

To Madam CHLOE in Jervice-Street. 2 Birth-Day Suits, 1 Piece of French Damask, Broad Green Stripe, with White Flowers, Pawned for Nine Pounds, 4 Damask Table-Cloaths, and a Dozen of Napkins.

To Madam LIBERIA of College-Green. A fine wrought Coverlet of a Bed, A picture of her Husband's Father and Mother set in Gold, A Gold Snuff-box, 1 Dozen of Silver- spoons, A Child's Bells and Coral.

I have had an Account of many more, but this is full enough to answer my Design, for I intend only by this discovery that their Husbands should add a little more to their Pin-money, and thereby enable them to pay their Debts of Honour, in a less Scandalous way.

Indeed it would not be amiss, if Husbands should make use of their Authority, at least to regulate one Circumstance, that is, to bring their Wives to be content with two Hours Play, instead of twelve in the four and twenty; because some Inconveniences attend it. The Servants having all that Time to themselves, to Intreigue; to Juncket; to Filsh and Steal; to pawn the Inferior Moveables of the Pantry, and Kitchen; and lastly to Corrupt the Children; by teaching them Cursing, Swearing, Lying, and Lewdness, which in all probability may bring both Ruin and Disgrace to their Family.

It is very well known that among the great and fashionable People of former ages, they very rarely had recourse to Gaming. We read that Artaxerxes, Cato, and Augustus, did sometimes Divert themselves this Way, but I cannot recollect that ever the Ladies entered into it at all, their Amusements being rather the Needle and the Loom; for which their Perfections are Celebrated by the Oldest and best Poet of the World. The Men of any Consequence, passed their Evenings in Learned and agreeable Conversation, such as tended to make them wiser and better, for which I appeal to the Symposiacks of Plato, the Feast of Xenophon, and those Accounts given by Macrobius. And to bring the matter nearer our own Times, the People of the greatest Consequence, in these British Isles, have chosen rather to pass away their Evenings in Polite Discourses with one another; and I should think that I failed in a due Veneration for their Memories, if I should pass their Names over in Silence. The Celebrated Lord Falkland, Earl Carnarvan, Endymion Porter, Mr. Waller, Sir John Sucklin; and among the conversible Ladies, The Countesses of Bedford, Carlisle, Devonshire, and several others. This way of Improvement is elegantly described by Horace.

For my own Part I could rather Wish, and I believe many Husbands would agree with me, That the Ladies would rather employ themselves, as Juvenal Describes those in his Time, in Fighting Prizes upon a Publick Stage, whereby they would at least discover their Activity, and their Courage, in a much more becoming manner, than (according to the present Practice) pulling of Coifs upon a wrangle at Quadrill.

The Ancients did so far abhor any Excess in Gaming, That Aristotle in his 4th Book of Ethicks, at the latter end of the 1st. Chap. places Tyrants, Gamester's and Robbers in one Class, their Dispositions being exactly the same: For who ever yet knew a right Gamester, that was not apt to insult upon Success, or to pillage all before him upon every Advantage. The Author I have now mentioned Stiles them very justly aischrokerdeis (I wish the Ladies understood Greek) We have no English Word expressive enough to explain it. The nearest meaning I can think of is base-gainers. And what can be baser, than to sit down deliberately with a Friend, either at his House, or my own, with an Intention to pick his Pocket, by a lucky Throw of a Dye, or a Cast of a Card. This has been frequently the Practice. However I shall content my self with a Relation of one Fact, because it is somewhat singular in it's kind.

BRYANIA the Virago one Evening, invited the beautiful Morisda to a game of Cards at her House, which the latter declined, as having neither Skill, nor Inclination, nor Money for Play; yet by much Importunity was prevailed on to sup with her. Soon after BRYANIA calls for a Pack of Cards, and told the poor innocent Lady, she would instruct her in a Game, which a Child of four Years old might learn in four Minutes; to this the complying good-natured Morisda willingly consented, upon her Friend's telling her she might lose very little by low playing at this Game. Accordingly they fixt upon three-pence a Counter. They had not played above three Hours, when the poor Cully was told she had lost about a trifle of twenty Guineas. Being not able to command twenty Shillings in the world, she took her leave in great Confusion, and Grief, promising to discharge the Debt in a litle Time. The unmerciful BRYANIA dunned her the Day following, and so continued for a Week. This put the poor indigent Lady upon trying all Friends. In the mean Time, the following Letter was written to her, which I have Transcribed with the strictest Justice to the Writer.

I donat undarstand youar tretmint in giuin me they troble off

Sendin so offen forr that trifil wich youe losst too me tuther

nit If youe doo nott sende itt bye they berer I a shuar youe I

wil rite too youar husbund forr itt, Maddum I amm &c.

This terrible Letter put the poor Lady to her last Shifts (nor is it a wonder it should, her Husband being the greatest Bear living) which was to borrow the Money of a certain Collonel, and this, uncharitable People did misinterpret for a Valuable Consideration.

The fifth Loss, I mentioned, was that of Temper. If any one doubts the Truth of this Position, I refer him to the Groom Porters, and Lucas's-Coffee-House, where the only Virtuosi of the Gaming Science are Daily and Nightly to be seen. If Blaspheming, Cursing, Swearing, Duelling, Runing of Heads against the Wall, Throwing Hats and Wigs in the Fire, Distortions of the Countenance, Biting of Nails, Burning of Cards, Breaking of Dice-Boxes, can be called a Loss of Temper, they are found in the aforesaid places, in the highest degree of Perfection. And to make out the last and greatest Loss, which is, The Loss of Life.

I have, according to the best of my Memory, heard of no less than seven or eight worthy Gentlemen of the Trade, within a very few Years, upon some hasty Words and Blows, given at some of these Gaming-Tables, retire from their Company, and one of them bring in the News of the other's Death in about Six Minutes.

Upon the whole, I cannot but remark, That Gaming proceeds from three Qualities of the basest kind, Avarice, Laziness and Ignorance; For it must undoubtedly be a thirst for Gain, which is a motive to high playing; and as for the Lazy and Ignorant (if they play low) I am more willing to indulge them, because they have naturally better Talents for sitting and trifling, than wholsome bodily Exercise, or spending the Evenings in a way of Conversation, agreeable to Rational Creatures.

I shall end this Paper with a very useful Remark. Plato is my Author, that the Demon THEUTH was the Inventor of Dice (The Ladies know well enough, that the Devil and Demon are the same) and the Vulgar have it by Tradition, that Cards are the Devil's own Invention, for which reason, time out of mind, they are and have been called the Devil's Books, therefore I cannot but say after this Information given, if Gamesters will not desist, they are undoubtedly at the Devil's Devotion.

Article V

THERE is no Talent so useful towards rising in the World, or which puts Men more out of the reach of Fortune, than that Quality generally possessed by the Dullest sort of People, and in common Speech, called Discretion, a species of lower Prudence, by the assistance of which, People of the meanest Intellectuals, without any other Qualification, pass through the World in great Tranquility, and with Universal good Treatment, neither giving nor taking Offence. Courts are seldom unprovided of Persons under this Character, on whom, if they happen to be of great Quality, most Employments, even the greatest naturally fall, when Competitors will not agree; and in such Promotions, no Body rejoyces or grieves. The Truth of this I could prove by several Instances, within my own Memory (for I say nothing of present Times.)

And indeed as Regularity and Forms are of great use in carrying on the Business of the World, so it is very convenient, that Persons endued with this kind of Discretion, should have that share which is proper to their Talents in the Conduct of Affairs, but by no means to meddle in matters which require Genius, Learning, strong Comprehension, quickness of Conception, Magnanimity, Generosity, Sagacity, or any other superior Gift of Human minds. Because this sort of Discretion, is usually attended with a strong desire of Money, and few Scruples about the way of obtaining it, with servile Flattery and Submission, with a Want of all publick Spirit or Principle, with a perpetual wrong Judgment when the Owners come into Power, and High Place, how to dispose of Favour and Preferment, having no measure for Merit, and Virtue in others, but those very Steps by which themselves ascended; Nor the least Intention of doing Good or Hurt to the Publick, further than Either one or t'other, is likely to be subservient to their own Security or Interest. Thus being void of all Friendship and Enmity, they never complain nor find Fault with the Times, and indeed never have reason to do so.

Men of eminent Parts and Abilities as well as Virtues do sometimes rise in Courts, sometimes in the Law, and sometimes even in the Church. Such were the Lord Bacon, the Earl of Strafford, Arch-bishop Laud in the Reign of King Charles I. and others in our own times whom I shall not Name: But these and many more under different Princes, and in different Kingdoms, were Disgraced or Banished, or suffered Death, meerely in Envy to their Virtues and Superior Genius, which emboldned them in great Exigencies and distresses of State (wanting a reasonable Infusion of this Aldermanly Discretion) to attempt the Service of their Prince and Country out of the common Forms.

This evil Fortune, which generally attends extraordinary Men in the Management of great Affairs, hath been imputed to divers Causes, that need not be here set down, when so obvious a One occurs. For, if what a certain Writer observes, be true, that, when a great Genius appears in the World, the Dunces are all in Confederacy against him: And thus although he imploys his Talents wholly in his Closet, without interfaring with any Man's Ambition or Avarice; what must he expect when he ventures out to seek for Preferment in a Court, but Universal Opposition, when he is mounting the Ladder, and every hand ready to turn him off, when he is at the Top? And in this point Fortune generally Acts directly contrary to Nature, For in Nature we find, that Bodies full of Life and Spirit mount easily, and are hard to fall, whereas heavy Bodies are hard to rise, and come down with greater Velocity, in Proportion to their weight. But we find Fortune every Day Acting just the reverse of this.

This Talent of Discretion, as I have described it in it's several Adjuncts and Circumstances, is no where so serviceable as to the Clergy, to whose Preferment, nothing is so fatal as the Character of Wit, Politeness in Reading, or Manners, or that kind of Behaviour which we contract, by having too much Conversed with Persons of high Stations and Eminency, these Qualifications being reckoned by the Vulgar of all Ranks to be marks of Levity, which is the last Crime the World will pardon in a Clergy-Man. To this I may add a free manner of speaking in mixt Company, and too frequent an Appearance in places of much resort, which are equally Noxious to Spiritual Promotions.

I have known indeed a few Exceptions to some parts of these Regulations. I have seen some of the Dullest Men alive aiming at Witt, and others with as little Pretensions, affecting Politeness in Manners and Discourse, but never being able to persuade the World of their Guilt, they grew into considerable Stations, upon the firm Assurance which all People had of their Discretion, because they were a Size too low to deceive the World to their own Disadvantage. But this I confess is a Tryal too dangerous often to engage in.

There is a known Story of a Clergy-Man, who was recommended for a Preferment by some great Man at Court, to A.B.C.T. His Grace said, he had heard that the Clergy-Man used to play at Whisk and Swobbers, that as to playing now and then a Sober Game at Whisk for pastime, it might be pardoned, but he could not digest those wicked Swobbers, and it was with some pains that my Lord S----rs could undeceive him. I ask, by what Talents we may suppose that great Pr---- ascended so high, or what sort of Qualifications he would expect in those whom he took into his Patronage, or would probably recommend to Court for the government of Distant Churches.

Two Clergy-Men in my Memory stood Candidates for a small Free-School in ----Shire, where a Gentleman of Quality and Interest in the Country, who happened to have a better understanding than his Neighbours, procured the place for him who was the better Schollar, and more Gentlemanly Person of the two, very much to the Regret of all the Parish; The other being disappointed, came up to London, where he became the greatest Pattern of this lower Discretion, that I have known and possessed with as heavy Intellectuals, which together with the coldness of his Temper, and gravity of his Deportment, carried him safe through many Difficulties, and he lived and dyed in a great Station, while his Competitor is too obscure for Fame to tell us what became of him.

This Species of Discretion which I so much celebrate, and do most heartly recommend, hath one Advantage not yet mentioned, that it will carry a Man safe through all the Malice and Variety of Parties, so far, that whatever Faction happen to be uppermost, his Claim is usually allowed for a share of what is going. And the thing seems to be highly reasonable. For in all great Changes, the prevailing side is usually so Tempestuous, that it wants the balast of those whom the World calls moderate Men and I call Men of Discretion, whom People in Power may with little Ceremony load as heavy as they please, drive them through the hardest and deepest Roads without danger of Foundring, or breaking their Backs, and will be sure to find them neither Resty nor Vicious.

In some following Paper, I will give the Reader a short History of two Clergy-Men in England, the Characters of each, and the Progress of their Fortunes in the World. By which the force of worldly Discretion and the bad Consequences from the want of that Virtue will strongly appear.

Article VI

WHEN I Travel through any part of this unhappy Kingdom (and I have now by several Excursions, made from Dublin, gone thro' most Counties of it) it raises two Passions in my Breast of a different kind; An Indignation against those vile betrayers and Insulters of it, who Insinuate themselves into Favour, by saying, It is a Rich Nation; and a sincere Compassion for the Natives, who are sunk to the lowest Degree of Misery and Poverty, whose Houses are Dunghills, whose Victuals are the Blood of their Cattle, or the Herbs in the Field; and whose Cloathing to the Dishonour of God and Man is Nakedness. Yet Notwithstanding all these Dismal Appearances, it is the Common Phrase of an upstart Race of People, who have suddenly sprung up like the Dragons Teeth among us: That Ireland was never known to be so Rich as it is now; by which as I apprehend, they can only mean Themselves, for they have Skipt over the Channel from the Vantage Ground of a Dunghill upon no other Merit, either Visible or Divinable, than that of not having been born among us.

This is the Modern way of Planting Colonies--Et ubi Solitudinem faciunt, id imperium vocant. When those who are so unfortunate to be born here, are excluded from the meanest Preferments, and deem'd incapable of being entertain'd, even as common Soldiers, whose poor stipend is but Four pence a Day. No Trade, no Emoluments, no Encouragement for Learning among the Natives, who yet by a perverse consequence are divided into Factions, with as much Violence, and Rancour, as if they had the Wealth of the Indies to contend for. It puts me in mind of a Fable which I Read in a Monkish Author. He quotes for it one of the Greek Mythologists, That once upon a Time a Colony of large Dogs (called the Molossi) Transplanted themselves from Epirus to [AElig ]tolia where they seized those parts of the Countries, most fertile in Flesh of all kinds, obliging the Native Dogs to retire from their best Kennels, to live under Ditches and Bushes. But to preserve good Neighbourhood, and Peace, and finding likewise, that the [AElig ]tolian Dogs might be of some use in the low Offices of Life, they passed a Decree, That the Natives should be entituled to the Short- Ribs, Tips of Tails, Knuckle-Bones, and Guts of all the Game, which they were obliged by their Masters to Run Down: This Condition was accepted, and what was a little Singular, while the Molossian Dogs kept a good understanding among themselves, living in Peace and Luxury, these [AElig ]tolian Curs were perpetually snarling, growling, barking, and tearing out each others Throats. Nay, sometimes those of the best Quality among them, were seen to Quarrel with as much Rancour for a Rotten Gut, as if it had been a fat haunch of Venison. But what need we wonder at this in Dogs, when the same is every Day practised among Men.

Last Year I Travelled from Dublin to Dundalk, thro' a Country esteemed the most Fruitful part of this Kingdom, and so Nature intended it. But no Ornaments or Improvements of such a Scene were visible. No Habitations fit for Gentlemen. No Farmers Houses. Few Fields of Corn, and almost a bare Face of nature, without new Plantations of any kind, only a few miserable Cottages, at least three or four Miles distance, and one Church in the Centre between this City and Droghedah. When I arriv'd at this last Town, the first mortifying Sight, was the Ruins of several Churches, batter'd down by that Usurper Cromwell, whose Fanatick Zeal made more Desolation in a few Days, than the Piety of succeeding Prelates, or the Wealth of the Town have, in more than sixty Years attempted to repair.

Perhaps the Inhabitants, through a high strain of Virtue, have in Imitation of the Athenians made a Solemn Resolution, never to rebuild those sacred Edifices, but rather leave them in ruins, as Monuments, to perpetuate the detestable memory of that hellish Instrument of Rebellion, Desolation and Murther. For, the Athenians when Mardonius had ravaged a great part of Greece took a formal Oath at the Isthmus to lose their Lives rather than their Liberty. To stand by their Leaders to the last. To spare the Cities of such Barbarians as they conquered. And, what crowned all, the Conclusion of their Oath was, We will never repair any of the Temples, which they have burned and destroyed, that they may appear to Posterity as so many Monuments of these wicked Barbarians. This was a glorious Resolution. And I am sorry to think, that the Poverty of my Country-men will not let the world suppose, they have acted upon such a generous Principle, yet upon this Occasion I cannot but observe that there is a fatality in some Nations, to be fond of those, who have treated them with the least humanity. Thus I have often heard the memory of Cromwell, who has depopulated and almost wholly destroyed this miserable Country, celebrated like that of a Saint; and at the same time the Sufferings of the Royal Martyr turned into Ridicule, and his Murder justifyed even from the Pulpit, and all this done with an intent to gain favour under a Monarchy, which is a new strain of Politicks that I shall not pretend to account for.

Examin all the Eastern Towns of Ireland, and you will trace this horrid Instrument of Destruction, in the defacing of Churches, and particularly in destroying whatever was Ornamental, either within or without them. We see in the several Towns a very few Houses scattered among the Ruins of thousands, which he laid level with their Streets. Great Numbers of Castles! the Country Seats of Gentlemen then in Being, still standing in ruin, habitations for Bats, Daws, and Owls, without the least Repairs or Succession of other buildings. Nor have the Country Churches, as far as my Eye could reach, met with any better Treatment from him, nine in ten of them lying among their Graves, and God only knows when they are to have a Resurrection. When I passed from Dundalk where this cursed Usurper's handy-work is yet visible, I cast mine Eyes around from the Top of a Mountain, from whence I had a wide and a waste Prospect of several venerable Ruins; It struck me with a Melancholy, not unlike that expressed by Cicero in one of his Letters which being much upon the like Prospect, and concluding with a very necessary Reflection on the uncertainty of things in this World, I shall here insert a translation of what he says. In my Return from Asia, as I Sailed from Agina, towards Megara, I began to take a prospect of the several Countries round about me. Behind me was Agina: Before me Megara: On the right Hand the Piræus: and on the left was Corinth: Which Towns were formerly in a most flourishing Condition; now they lye prostrate and in Ruin.

Thus I began to think with my self. Shall we who have but a trifling Existence express any resentment, when one of us either dies a natural Death, or is Slain, whose Lives are necessarily of a short Duration, when at one view I behold the Carcases of so many great Cities. What if he had seen the Natives of those free Republicks, reduced to all the miserable consequences of a conquered People, living without the common defences against Hunger and Cold, rather appearing like Specters than Men? I am apt to think that seeing his Fellow-Creatures in Ruin like this, it would have put him past all patience for Philosophick Reflections.

As for my own Part, I confess, that the Sights and Occurrences which I had in this my last Journey, have so far transported me to a mixture of Rage and Compassion, that I am not able to decide, which has the greater Influence upon my Spirits; For this new Cant of a rich and flourishing Nation, was still upper-most in my Thoughts; Every Mile I travelled, giving me such ample Demonstrations to the Contrary. For this reason, I have been at the pains to render a most exact and faithful Account of all the visible Signs of Riches, which I met with in sixty Miles riding through the most publick Roads, and the best part of the Kingdom. First, As to Trade, I met nine Carrs loaden with old musty shrivel'd Hydes, one Car-load of Butter. Four Jockeys driving eight Horses, all out of Case. One Cow and Calf, driven by a Man and his Wife. Six tattered Families flitting to be shipped off to the West-Indies. A Colony of a hundred and fifty Beggars, all repairing to people our Metropolis, and by encreasing the number of Hands, to encrease it's Wealth, upon the old Maxim, that People are the Riches of a Nation. And therefore ten thousand Mouths with hardly ten pair of Hands, or any Work to employ them, will infallibly make us a rich, and flourishing People. 2dly, Travellers enough, but seven in ten wanting Shirts and Cravats; nine in ten going barefoot, and carrying their Brogues and Stockens in their Hands. One Woman in twenty having a Pillion, the rest riding bare-backed. Above two hundred Horsemen, with four pair of Boots amongst them all. Seventeen Saddles of Leather (the rest being made of Straw) and most of their Garrons only shod before. I went into one of the principal Farmer's Houses, out of Curiosity, and his whole Furniture consisted of two Blocks for Stools, a Bench on each side the Fire-place made of Turf, six Trenchers, one Bowl, a Pot, six Horn-Spoons, three Noggins, three Blankets, one of which served the Man and Maid Servant; the others the Master of the Family, his Wife and five Children. A small Churn, a wooden Candlestick, a broken Stick for a pair of Tongs. In the publick Towns, one third of the Inhabitants walking the Street barefoot. Windows half built up with Stone, to save the expence of Glass, the broken Panes up and down supplied by brown Paper, few being able to afford white; in some places they were stopped with Straw or Hay. Another mark of our Riches, are the Signs at the several Inns upon the Road, viz. In some a Staff stuck in the Thatch, with a Turf at the End of it; a Staff in a Dunghill with a white Rag wrapped about the Head; A Pole, where they can afford it, with a Beesom at the Top. An Oatmeal Cake on a Board in a Window; And, at the principal Inns of the Road, I have observed the Signs taken down and laid against the Wall near the Door, being taken from their Post to prevent the shaking of the House down by the Wind. In short, I saw not one single House, in the best Town I travelled through, which had not manifest Appearances of Beggary and Want. I could give many more Instances of our Wealth, but I hope these will suffice for the End I propose.

It may be objected, What use it is of to display the Poverty of the Nation in the manner I have done. In answer, I desire to know for what Ends, and by what Persons, This new Opinion of our flourishing State has of late been so Industriously advanced. One thing is certain, that the Advancers have either already found their own Account, or have been heartily promised, or at least have been entertained with hopes, by seeing such an Opinion pleasing to those who have it in their power to reward.

It is no doubt a very generous principle in any Person, to rejoice in the felicities of a Nation, where themselves are Strangers, or Sojourners. But if it be found that the same Persons on all other Occasions express a hatred and contempt of the Nation and People in General, and hold it for a Maxim--That the more such a Country is humbled, the more their own will rise, it need be no longer a Secret, why such an Opinion and the Advancers of it are encouraged. And besides, if the Bayliff reports to his Master, that the Ox is Fat and Strong, when in reality it can hardly carry it's own Legs, is it not natural to think, that command will be given, for a greater load to be put upon it.

Article VII

CORUSODES an Oxford Student, and a Farmers Son, was never absent from Prayers, or Lecture, nor once out of his College after Tom had tolld. He spent every Day ten hours in his Closet, in Reading his Courses, Dozing, clipping Papers, or darning his Stockings, which last he performed to Admiration. He could be soberly Drunk at the expence of others, with College Ale, and at those Seasons was always most Devout. He wore the same Gown five Years, without dagling or tearing. He never once looked into a Play-book or a Poem. He Read Virgil and Ramus in the same Cadence, but with a very different Taste. He never understood a Jest, or had the least Conception of Wit.

For one saying he stands in Renown to this Day. Being with some other Students over a Pot of Ale; one of the Company said so many pleasant things, that the rest were much diverted, only Corusodes was silent and unmoved. When they parted, he called this merry Companion aside, and said; Sir, I perceived by your often speaking, and our Friends laughing, that you spoke many jests, and you could not but observe my Silence. But Sir this is my humour, I never make a jest myself, nor ever laugh at another Man's.

Corusodes thus endowed, and got into Holy Orders, having by the most extreme Parsimoney, saved thirty four Pounds out of a very Beggarly Fellowship, went up to London, where his Sister was Waiting-woman to a Lady, and so good a Sollicitor, that by her means he was admitted to Read Prayers in the Family twice a Day, at fourteen shillings a Month. He had now acquired a low Obsequious awkward Bow, and a talent of gross flattery both in and out of season; he would shake the Butler by the Hand; He taught the Page his Catechism, and was sometimes admitted to Dine at the Stewards Table. In short he got the good Word of the whole Family, and was Recommended by my Lady for Chaplain to some other Noble House, by which his Revenue (beside Vales) amounted to about 30 l. a Year. His Sister procured him a Scarf from my Lord (who had a small design of Gallantry upon her) And by his Lordships Sollicitation he got a Lectureship in Town of 60 l. a Year; where he Preached constantly in Person, in a grave manner, with an Audible Voice, a Style Ecclesiastick, and the matter (such as it was) well suited to the intellectuals of his Hearers. Some time after, a Country Living fell in my Lord's Disposal, and his Lordship who had now some encouragement given him of Success in his Amour, bestowed the Living on Corusodes, who still kept his Lectureship and Residence in Town, where he was a constant Attendant at all Meetings relating to Charity, without ever contributing further than his frequent Pious Exhortations. If any Women of better fashion in the Parish happened to be absent from Church, they were sure of a Visit from him in a Day or two, to Chide and to Dine with them.

He had a select number of Poor constantly attending at the Street Door of his Lodgings, for whom he was a common Sollicitor to his former Patroness, dropping in his own Half Crown among the Collections and taking it out when he disposed the money. At a Person of Qualities House, he would never sit down till he was thrice bid, and then upon the corner of the most distant chair. His whole demeanor was formal and starched, which adhered so close, that he could never shake it off in his highest Promotion.

His Lord was now in high Employment at Court, and attended by him with the most abject Assiduity, and his Sister being gone off with Child to a private Lodging, my Lord continued his Graces to Corusodes, got him to be a Chaplain in ordinary, and in due time a Parish in Town, and a Dignity in the Church.

He paid his Curates punctually, at the lowest Sallery, and partly out of the communion money, but gave them good advice in abundance. He Marryed a Citizens Widow, who taught him to put out small sums at ten per cent, and brought him acquainted with Jobbers in Change-Alley. By her dexterity he sold the Clarkship of his Parish, when it became vacant.

He kept a miserable house, but the Blame was layed wholly upon Madam; For the good Doctor was always at his Books, or visiting the Sick, or doing other Offices of Charity and piety in his Parish.

He treated all his inferiors of the Clergy with a most sanctifyed pride; was rigorously and universally, censorious upon all his brethren of the Gown, on their first appearance in the world, or while they continued meanly preferred; But gave large allowance to the Layity of high rank, or great riches, using neither Eyes nor Ears for their faults. He was never sensible of the least corruption in Courts, Parliaments, or Ministries, but made the most favourable constructions of all publick proceedings; and Power, in whatever Hands, or whatever Party, was always secure of his most charitable opinion. He had many wholsome maxims ready to excuse all miscarriages of State. Men are but Men. Erunt vitia donec homines; and Quod Supra nos nihil ad nos. with several others of equal weight.

It would lengthen my paper beyond measure to trace out the whole System of his conduct: His dreadfull apprehensions of Popery; his great moderation towards Dissenters of all Denominations; with hearty wishes that by yielding somewhat on both sides, there might be a general Union among Protestants; his short inoffensive Sermons in his turns at Court, and the matter exactly suited to the present juncture of prevailing Opinions. The arts he used to obtain a Mitre, by writing against Episcopacy, and the proofs he gave of his loyalty by palliating or defending the murder of a martyred Prince.

Endowed with all these accomplishments we leave him in the full Carrier of Success, mounting fast towards the top of the Ladder Ecclesiastical, which he hath a fair probability to reach, without the merit of one single Virtue, moderately stocked with the least valuable parts of Erudition, utterly devoyd of all Taste, Judgment or Genius; and in his grandeur naturally chusing to hawl up others after him, whose accomplishments most resemble his own, except his beloved Sons, Nephews, or other kindred be not in competition, or lastly except his inclinations be diverted by those who have power to mortify or further advance him.

Eugenio Set out from the same University, and about the same time with Corusodes; He had the reputation of an arch Lad at School, and was unfortunately possessed with a Talent for Poetry, on which account he received many chiding Letters from his Father, and grave advice from his Tutor. He did not neglect his College Learning, but his chief Study was the Authors of Antiquity, with a perfect knowledge in the Greek and Roman Tongues; He could never Procure himself to be chosen Fellow; for it was objected against him that he had written Verses, and particularly some wherein he glanced at a certain Reverend Doctor, famous for Dullness: That he had been seen bowing to Ladies, as he met them in the Streets; And it was proved that once he had been found dancing in a private family with half a dozen of both Sexes.

He was the younger Son to a Gentleman of a good birth, but small fortune, and his Father Dying he was driven to London, to seek his fortune: he got into Orders, and became Reader in a Parish Church at twenty Pounds a Year; was carryed by an Oxford friend to Wills Coffee-house, frequented in those Days by the Men of Wit; where in some time he had the bad luck to be distinguished. His Scanty Sallery compelled him to run deep in debt for a new Gown and Cassock, and now and then forced him to Write some Paper of Wit or humour, or Preach a Sermon for Ten shillings, to supply his Necessities. He was a thousand times recommended by his Poetical Friends to great Persons, as a young man of excellent parts, who deserved encouragement and received a thousand Promises; But his modesty, and a generous spirit which disdained the Slavery of continual application, and attendance, always disappointed him, making room for Vigilant Dunces, who were sure to be never out of sight.

He had an excellent faculty in preaching, if he were not sometimes a little too refined, and apt to trust too much to his own way of thinking, and reasoning.

When upon the vacancy of Preferment he was hardly drawn to attend upon some promising Lord he received the usual Answer, that he came too late, for it had been given to another the very day before. And he had onely this comfort left, that every body said, it was a thousand pities some thing could not be done for Poor Mr. Eugenio.

The Remainder of his Story will be dispatched in a few Words. Wearied with weak hopes, and weaker pursuits he accepted a Curacy in Darby-Shire, of thirty Pounds a Year, and when he was five and forty, had the great felicity to be preferred by a friend of his Father to a Vicaridge worth annually 60 pound, in the most desert parts of Lincolnshire, where his spirit quite sunk with those reflections, that solitude and disappointments bring, he married a Farmers widow, and is still alive, utterly undistinguished and forgotten, onely some of the Neighbours have accidentally heard that he had been a notable man in his Youth.

Article VIII

HAVING lately had an Account, that a certain Person of some Distinction swore in a publick Coffee-house, that Party should never Dye while he lived (although it has been the Endeavour of the best and wisest among us, to Abolish the Ridiculous Appellations of Whig and Tory, and entirely to turn our thoughts to the good of our Prince and Constitution in Church and State) I hope those, who are well-wishers to our Country, will think my Labour not ill bestowed in giving this Gentleman's Principles the proper Embellishments which they deserve, and since mad Mullinix is the only Tory now remaining, who dares own himself to be so, I desire I may not be Censured by those who are of his Party, for making him hold a Dialogue with one of less Consequence on 'tother side. I shall not venture so far, as to give the Christian Nick-name of the Person chiefly concerned, lest I should give offence, for which reason, I shall call him Timothy, and leave the rest to the Conjecture of the World.

MAD MULLINIX and TIMOTHY.

Article IX

FROM frequently reflecting upon the Course and Method of Educating Youth in this and a Neighbouring Kingdom, with the general Success and consequence thereof; I am come to this Determination, That Education is always the worse in Proportion to the Wealth and Grandeur of the Parents. Nor do I doubt in the least, that if the whole World were now under the Dominion of one Monarch (provided I might be allowed to chuse where he should fix the Seat of his Empire) the only Son and Heir of that Monarch, would be the worst Educated Mortal, that ever was born since the Creation: And, I doubt the same Proportion will hold through all Degrees and Titles, from an Emperor downwards, to the common Gentry. I do not say that this hath been always the case: for in better times it was directly otherwise; and a Scholar may fill half his Greek and Roman Shelves with Authors of the Noblest Birth, as well as highest Virtue. Nor, do I tax all Nations at present with this defect, for I know there are some to be excepted, and particularly Scotland, under all the Disadvantages of it's Clymate and Soyle, if that happiness be not rather owing even to those very dis- advantages. What is then to be done, if this Reflection must fix on two Countries, which will be most ready to take Offence, and which of all others it will be least prudent or safe to offend?

But there is one Circumstance yet more Dangerous and Lamentable. For if, according to the Postulatum already laid down, the higher Quality any Youth is of, he is in greater likelyhood to be worse Educated, it behooves me to dread, and keep far from the Verge of Scandalum Magnatum.

Retracting therefore that hazardous Postulatum, I shall venture no further at present than to say, that perhaps some Additional Care in Educating the Sons of Nobility, and principal Gentry, might not be ill employed. If this be not delivered with softness enough, I must for the future be Silent.

In the mean time, let me ask only two Questions, which relate to a Neighbouring Kingdom, from whence the Chief among us are descended, and whose manners we most affect to follow. I ask first, how it comes about, that for above 60 Years past, the Chief Conduct of Affairs in that Kingdom hath been generally placed in the Hands of New-men, with very few Exceptions. The Noblest Blood of England having been shed in the grand Rebellion, many great Families became extinct, or supported only by Minors: when the King was Restored, very few of those Lords remained, who began, or at least had improved their Education, under the happy Reign of King James, or King Charles I, of which Lords the two principal were the Marquiss of Ormonde, and the Earl of Southampton. The Minors had, during the Rebellion and Usurpation, either received too much Tincture of bad Principles from those Fanatick Times, or coming to Age at the Restoration, fell into the Vices of that dissolute Reign.

I Date from this [AElig ]ra, the Corrupt Method of Education among us, and the consequence thereof, in the Necessity the Crown lay under of Introducing New-men into the chief Conduct of publick Affairs, or to the Office of what we now call Prime Ministers, Men of Art, Knowledge, Application, and Insinuation, meerly for want of a supply among the Nobility. They were generally (though not always) of good Birth, sometimes Younger Brothers, at other times, such who although inheriting good Estates, yet happened to be well Educated, and provided with Learning; such under that King, were Hyde, Bridgman, Clifford, Coventry, Osborn, Godolphin, Ashley-Cooper; Few or none under the short Reign of King James II. Under King William; Summers, Montague, Churchil, Vernon, Harry Boyle, and many others: Under the Queen; Harley, St. John, Harcourt, Trevers, who indeed were Persons of the best private Families, but unadorn'd with Titles. So in the last Reign, Mr. Robert Walpole, was understood for many Years, to be Prime Minister, in which Post he still happily continues; His Brother Horace is Ambassador Extraordinary to France. Mr. Addison, and Mr. Craiggs, without the least Allyance to support them, have been Secretaries of State.

If the Facts have been thus for above 60 years past (whereof I could with a little further Recollection produce many more Instances) I would ask again, how it hath happened, that in a Nation plentifully abounding with Nobility, so great share in the most important parts of publick management, hath been for so long a Period chiefly entrusted to Commonners; unless some Omissions, or Defects of the highest Import, may be charged upon those to whom the care of Educating our Noble Youth hath been committed. For, if there be any difference between human Creatures in the point of natural Parts, as we usually call them, it should seem, that the Advantage lyes on the side of Children born from Noble and Wealthy Parents; the same Traditional Sloth and Luxury which render their Body Weak and Effeminate, perhaps refining and giving a freer motion to the Spirits, beyond what can be expected from the gross robust Issue of meaner Mortals. Add to this, the peculiar Advantages, which all young Noblemen possess, by the Priviledges of their Birth; Such as a free access to Courts, and a universal Deference pay'd to their Persons.

But as my Lord Bacon chargeth it for a fault on Princes, that they are impatient to compass Ends without giving themselves the trouble of consulting or executing the means. So perhaps it may be the disposition of young Nobles, either from the Indulgence of Parents, Tutors and Governors, or their own Inactivity, that they expect the accomplishments of a good Education without the least expence of Time or Study, to acquire them.

What I said last, I am ready to retract; For the case is infinitely worse; and the very Maxims set up to direct modern Education, are enough to destroy all the Seeds of Knowledge, Honour, Wisdom, and Virtue among us. The current Opinion prevails that the study of Greek and Latin is loss of Time; that publick Schools by mingling the Sons of Noblemen, with those of the Vulgar, engage the former in bad Company; That whipping breaks the Spirits of Lads well Born; That Universities make young Men Pedants. That, to Dance, Fence, speak French, and know how to behave your self among great Persons of both Sexes, comprehends the whole duty of a Gentleman.

I cannot but think this wise System of Education, hath been much cultivated among us by those Worthies of the Army, who during the last War returning from Flanders at the close of each Campaign, became the Dictators of Behaviour, Dress and Politeness to all those Youngsters, who frequent Chocolate-Coffee-Gaming-Houses, Drawing-Rooms, Opera's, Levees, and Assemblies; where a Colonel by his Pay, Perquisites, and Plunder, was qualifyed to outshine many Peers of the Realm; and by the influence of an exotick Habit and Demeanor, added to other foreign Accomplishments, gave the Law to the whole Town, and were copyed as the Standard- Patterns of whatever was refined in Dress, Equipage, Conversation, or Diversions.

I remember in those Times, an Admired Original of that Vocation, sitting in a Coffee-house near two Gentlemen, whereof one was of the Clergy, who were engaged in some discourse that savoured of Learning; This Officer thought fit to interpose, and professing to deliver the Sentiments of his Fraternity as well as his own (and probably did so of too many among them) turning to the Clergyman, spoke in the following manner. D--n me, Doctor, say what you will, the Army is the only School for Gentlemen. Do you think my Lord Marlborough beat the French, with Greek and Latin. D--n me, a Scholar when he comes into good Company; what is he but an Ass? D--n me, I would be glad by G--d to see any of your Schollars with his Nouns, and his Verbs, and his Philosophy, and Trigonometry, what a figure he would make at a Siege or Blockado or reconoitring -- D--n me &c. After which he proceeded with a Volley of Military Terms, less significant, sounding worse, and harder to be understood than any that were ever Coyned by the Commentators upon Aristotle. I would not here be thought to charge the Soldiery with Ignorance and contempt of Learning, without allowing Exceptions, of which I have known many, and some even in this Kingdom, but however, the worse example, especially in a great Majority will certainly prevail.

I have heard that the late Earl of Oxford in the time of his Ministry, never past by White's Chocolate-house (the common Rendezvous of infamous Sharpers, and noble Cullies) without bestowing a Curse upon that famous Accademy, as the Bane of half the English Nobility. I have been likewise told another passage concerning that great Minister; which because it gives a humorous Idea of one principal Ingredient in modern Education, take as followeth. Le-Sac the Famous French Dancing-master in great Admiration asked a friend, whether it were true that Mr. Harley was made an Earl, and Lord Treasurer: And finding it confirmed, said; Well, I wonder what the Devil the Queen could see in him; for I attended him two Years, and he was the greatest Dunce that ever I taught.

Another hindrance to good Education, and I think, the greatest of any, is that pernicious custom in Rich and Noble Families, of entertaining French Tutors in their Houses. These wretched Pædagogues are enjoyned by the Father, to take special care, that the Boy shall be perfect in his French; By the Mother, that Master must not walk till he is hot, nor be suffered to play with other Boys, nor be wet in his Feet, nor daub his Cloaths, and to see that the Dancing-master attends constantly, and does his Duty: she further insists that the Child be not kept too long poring on his Book, because he is subject to sore Eyes, and of a weakly Constitution.

By these methods the young Gentleman is in every Article as fully accomplished at 8 Years old as at eight and twenty (Age adding only to the growth of his Person and his Vice) so that if you should look at him in his Boyhood through the magnifying end of a Perspective, and in his Manhood through the other, it would be impossible to spy any difference: The same Airs, the same Strutt, the same Cock of his Hat, and posture of his Sword (as far as the change of fashions will allow) the same understanding, the same compass of knowledge, with the very same Absurdity, Impudence, and Impertinence of Tongue.

He is taught from the Nursery that he must inherit a great Estate, and hath no need to mind his Book, which is a Lesson he never forgets to the end of his life. His chief Solace is to steal down and play at Span-farthing with the Page, or young Black-a-moor, or little favorite Foot-boy, one of which is his principal Confident, and Bosom-friend.

There is one young Lord in this Town, who by an unexampled piece of good Fortune, was miraculously snatched out of the Gulph of Ignorance, confined to a publick School for a due Term of Years, well Whipped when he deserved it; clad no better than his Comrades, and always their Play- fellow on the same foot, had no Precedence in the School, but what was given him by his Merit, and lost it whenever he was Negligent. It is well known how many Mutinies were bred at this unpresidented Treatment, what complaints among his Relations, and other Great ones of both Sexes; that his Stockings with silver Clocks were ravished from him, that he wore his own Hair, that his dress was undistinguished; that he was not fit to appear at a Ball or Assembly, nor suffered to go to either. And it was with the utmost difficulty that he became qualifyed for his present removal, where he may probably be farther Persecuted, and possibly with Success, if the firmness of a very Worthy Governor, and his own good Dispositions will not preserve him. I confess, I cannot but wish he may go on in the way he began, because I have a curiosity to know by so singular an Experiment, whether Truth, Honour, Justice, Temperance, Courage and good Sense acquired by a School and College Education, may not produce a very tolerable Lad, although he should happen to fail in one or two of those accomplishments, which in the general Vogue, are held so important to the finishing of a Gentleman.

It is true, I have known an Accademical Education to have been exploded in publick Assemblies; and have heard more than one or two Persons of high Rank, declare they could learn nothing more at Oxford and Cambridge, than to drink Ale and smoke Tobacco; wherein I firmly believ'd them, and could have added some hundred Examples from my own observation in one of those Universities, but they all were of young Heirs sent thither, only for form, either from Schools where they were not suffered by their careful Parents, to stay above three Months in the Year, or from under the management of French Family-Tutors, who yet often attended them to their College, to prevent all possibility of their Improvement. But, I never yet knew any one Person of Quality, who followed his Studies at the University, and carryed away his just Proportion of Learning, that was not ready upon all occasions to celebrate and defend that course of Education, and to prove a Patron of Learned Men.

There is one circumstance in a learned Education, which ought to have much weight, even with those who have no Learning at all. The Books read at Schools and Colleges, are full of Incitements to Virtue, and Discouragements from Vice, drawn from the wisest Reasons, the strongest Motives, and the most influencing Examples. Thus, young Minds are filled early with an inclination to Good, and an abhorrence of Evil, both which encrease in them, according to the advances they make in Literature: And, although they may be, and too often are, drawn by the Temptations of Youth, and the Opportunities of a large Fortune, into some Irregularities, when they come forward into the great World, it is ever with Reluctance and Compunction of Mind, because their Byas to Virtue still continues. They may stray sometimes out of Infirmity or Complyance, but they will soon return to the right Rode, and keep it always in view. I speak only of those Excesses, which are too much the Attendants of Youth and warmer Blood; for, as to the Points of Honour, Truth, Justice, and other noble Gifts of the Mind, wherein the temperature of the Body hath no concern, they are seldom or never known to be misled.

I have engaged my self very unwarily in too copious a Subject for so short a Paper. The present Scope I would aim at is to prove, that some Proportion of human Knowledge appears requisite to those, who by their Birth or Fortune, are called to the making of Laws, and in a subordinate way to the execution of them; and that such Knowledge is not to be obtained without a Miracle, under the frequent, corrupt, and sottish Methods, of educating those who are born to Wealth or Titles. For, I would have it remembred, that I do by no means confine these Remarks to young Persons of Noble Birth; the same Errors running through all Families, where there is Wealth enough to afford, that their Sons (at least the Eldest) may be good for nothing. Why should my Son be a Scholar, when it is not intended that he should live by his Learning? By this Rule, if what is commonly said be true, that Money answereth all Things, why should my Son be honest, temperate, just, or charitable, since he hath no intention to depend upon any of these Qualities for a Maintenance?

When all is done, perhaps upon the whole, the matter is not so bad as I would make it; and, God, who worketh good out of evil, acting only by the ordinary Course and rule of Nature, permits this continual Circulation of human things, for his own unsearchable Ends. The Father grows rich by Avarice, Injustice, Oppression; he is a Tyrant in the Neighbourhood, over Slaves and Beggars, whom he calls his Tenants. Why should he desire to have qualities infused into his Son, which himself never possessed, or knew, or found the want of in the acquisition of his Wealth? The Son bred in Sloth and Idleness, becomes a Spendthrift, a Cully, a Profligate, and goes out of the World a Beggar, as his Father came in: Thus, the former is punished for his own Sins, as well as for those of the latter. The Dunghil having raised a huge Mushroom of short duration, is now spread to enrich other Mens Lands. It is indeed of worse consequence, where noble Families are gone to decay; because their Titles and Priviledges out-live their Estates: And, Politicians tell us, that nothing is more dangerous to the Publick, than a numerous Nobility without Merit or Fortune. But even here, God hath likewise prescribed some Remedy in the order of Nature; so many great Families coming to an end by the Sloth, Luxury, and abandoned Lusts, which enervated their Breed thorough every Succession, producing gradually a more effeminate Race, wholly unfit for Propagation.

Article X

Magnas Componere lites.

Lucass's Coffee-house, July 4th.

Mr. Intelligencer,

I Am desired to return you the Thanks of this House, for that Seasonable Dialogue between Timothy and Mullinix. You have intirely reconciled them both by it, and thereby given the finishing stroke to a Party, which gives universal Joy and Satisfaction to all well-wishers of our Constitution. It was very much lamented, that Men of their extraordinary Talents, (and who might by their united Interest contribute very much to the good of our Country) should not have a better understanding between them; because the perpetual Feuds and Animosities which they raised, had like to have proved of the most fatal ill Consequence to this unfortunate, poor, divided Nation. Now the Clouds which hung over us, are dispelled; Things begin to clear up; and we have the best reason to think, by this Union, that we shall be a Great and a Flourishing People. We are now in a profound Peace, Trade flourishes.--Plenty, which fled from hence to Scotland, is returned.--You see Joy and Fatness in every Countenance, especially in those of the Natives.--The younger Sons of Gentlemen, who languished, loitering at Home, for want of Business, are now in a fair way of Employment. Arts and Sciences begin to revive in our University; that great Nursery of the best Education! which Annually supplies the Pulpit, Bench and Bar, and every other useful Office. All our Nobility and Gentry, who fled to Great-Brittain, to avoid the Civil Broils occasioned by Tim Cæsar, and Mullinix Pompey, are now returning, to live quietly at Home, and to bring a Blessing to their Native Soil, by residing in it; which will be a means to keep our Money at Home; to encourage Agriculture, especially Tillage; and then, Sing O be Joyful, we shall all wallow in Wealth, because by this we shall have nine hundred thousand Pounds a Year more in this Nation. These and numberless Advantages beside, we owe to your excellent Paper, which Tim himself allows to be written with a very good Intention, although it places him in a ludicrous Light, but he is a Man of such excellent Taste and Temper, that a Jest, when it is finely Couched, never gives him the least Offence. This encourages me to let you know, he is very angry at Mr. Gay; for he thinks the Fable of the Monkey which had seen the World is levelled at him. If you have leisure to write something merry upon the occasion, let us have it immediately, and answer this Letter another time. For, you must know, we are very great Jokers in this Coffee-House. There is a little dapper Lord, an Acquaintance of Tim's, will laugh and teize him into his Chair, and home again. -

Tim and the Fables.

Article XI

Mr. Intelligencer,

HAVING but lately met with the following Proposals in a Letter to the Author of the London-Journal, bearing Date March 30th. 1728. And having the greatest Veneration and Esteem for the Writer of it, as well as the best Opinion of his vast Abilities for the Undertaking; I hope, I do not come too late, in giving a helping Hand to spread it abroad for the Author's Advantage, and Benefit of the Learned World, by giving it a Poetick Dress, which I think would have been much better from his own Pen, had he been in a humour of versifying; for he has the most extraordinary Talents that way of any Man now living, except A. P. There is a turn and beauty of Language, as well as Thought, carry'd on with the greatest Perspicuity thro' the whole, much in the manner of Voiture. This I own has been of singular Advantage to me; for the easiness and politeness of his Prose, contributed much to the smoothness and Musick of my Verses, purely owing to my Transferring as much of his Expression, as I possibly could, into my Performance. From this elegant Specimen of his, the World will see what they are to expect from him; at least a vast deal of Orthodox Divinity, Critical Remarks, Solid Argument, wholesome Instruction, clear Information, with an entertaining beauty of Style, peculiar to the Great and Learned S---d---l---y. And now I have named him, I need say no more to recommend the Work but what follows.

Church-street, Soho, March 30, 1728.

To the Author of the LONDON JOURNAL.

SIR, I have published the Specimen of a Book, entitled, An Universal View of all the eminent Writers on the Holy Scriptures; being a Collection of the Dissertations, Explications, and Opinions, of learned Men in all Ages, concerning the difficult Passages and obscure Texts of the Bible; and of whatsoever is to be met with in Profane Authors, which may contribute towards the better Understanding of Them.

I beg the Favour of communicating to the World, by means of your Paper, what I think at present necessary to say, towards the unfolding my Design in this Work, and to answer the Objections which I have heard made against it.

Most of the Articles whereof I treat, are, at one time or other, made the Subject of common Discourse; and too many Persons, who debate in private on these Points, are unfurnish'd with proper and rational Materials for such Conversation.

These Observations occasion'd my forming a Design, to collect, into one View, the chief Sentiments of the best Authors, in most Languages, on those Subjects, for the Benefit only of common Discourse and Instruction: But when I came to reflect more closely on the Matter, I found, besides my obliging the Generality of Readers, and my enlarging the Fund of Scriptural Knowledge amongst the Unlearned, that I was in a fair way of doing Service to the Learned and more Intelligent Part of my Countrymen likewise; because, by means of this Work, they wou'd save abundance of Time, which is now lost, in turning over from Book to Book, and from Page to Page, the numberless Authors, which I shall quote. And if any of them are inclin'd to consult the Originals, I promise to refer them faithfully to the Line and Page; and I began further to conceive, that I should oblige many amongst the Learned, by saving them abundance of Cost and Expence in purchasing several Books, which it will be sufficient for them to see and hear of, in the Quotations of my View.

The Reader is desir'd to observe, that there is no Bibliotheque, no Collection of this kind, so compleat, now extant, in any Language, as I shall shew in my general Preface to the Whole; and it must not be forgot, that the English want such a Collection, more than most other Christian Nations.

All the Objections, which I have heard, will be answer'd by what follows; whereby those Persons, particularly, will find themselves mistaken, who imagine, that the Immensity of the Work ought both to terrifie them from encouraging, and me from undertaking it. For I shall not go thro' the whole Bible Verse by Verse, as in the Specimen. MOSES's first Chapter is an entire Piece, on the Creation, and I could not omit one Line of it; but my subsequent Articles will be taken from Books, Chapters and Verses, very distant often from one another: Nay, I shall leave whole Books of the Bible untouch'd, viz. such as are Moral or Poetical only, or meerly Historical; and I shall take Notice of no Parts of those Books, but such as are very Curious and Intricate, and have occasion'd something extraordinary to be said on them. Besides, it must be considered that I shall omit numberless Authors, on every Subject; and that, without any dread of displeasing, or hopes of pleasing any Sects or Parties of People; and I shall only collect from the most received Authors on every Article, and such as none shall except against for Learning or Abilities, whatever they may do for Opinion.

The Sentiments of the Fathers and antient Commentators will be sufficiently answer'd for out of POOLE's Synopsis; for it wou'd be an endless, idle and dusty Work, to contract all their heavy and voluminous Writings; but whatever may be still thought wanting of these Antients, will be supplied even to Satiety, from PETAVIUS, CALMET, and others. Further, nothing could be so disagreeable either to me or to the Reader, as to give a full Detail of all the Stuff that was published Abroad about the Time of, and a long while after the Reformation; and it wou'd be more nauseous still to revive what was writ at Home, from the Beginning of the last Century till towards the End of it, and indeed for some part of the Century before it.

But, God be thanked, there wanted not great Genius's, who wrote in several Places at the same Times; and if I raise the Work to Two large Vols. in Folio, with what the learned and bright Part of Mankind alone have left us, I may reasonably expect Forgiveness for not swelling my Labours into Four or more Folio's, by interspersing tedious Observations, and ridiculous, wild and low Expositions.

I shall print the Two Vols. within a reasonable time after my Subscriptions come in; for I have my Additions and Amendments, that are to compleat the Specimen, ready and prepared: which Specimen being to be reprinted for the Body of the Work, will, together with what Collections I have by me for succeeding Articles, give me all imaginable Advantage of the Printer, who cannot work at the Press so fast as I can supply him with Copy; besides which I have procur'd the Assistance of some learned Persons to collect for me, and have got so diligent and expert an Amanuensis, to transcribe for the Press, that it can never stand still.

I beg leave to remark, that besides the Benefit which every English Reader, of common Sense, will reap by this Undertaking, it will be of more special Service to young Divines, who may hereby at the same time procure variety of Learning, and indulge a studious Curiosity, at a small Expence; and who, by means of this Collection, will be sufficiently furnish'd with a Bibliotheca Sacra; to which, if they add only POOLE's English Annotations on the Old, and HAMMOND's Exposition of the New Testament, they will need few other Books for some Years, unless it be a Concordance to understand Scripture.

As to those who object, that such a Variety of Opinions on one Subject, as I shall always produce, will rather confound than satisfy People, I beg leave to disagree with them: because every intelligent Person can judge for himself; and because those of meaner Capacities may consult others of better Understanding; every thing being laid before them in plain English.

And, in Truth, I cannot but esteem such a Work, to be, in justice, due to the Inhabitants of our Islands. Monsieur CALMET gives the following reason for publishing Nine Volumes in Folio, containing, not only, his own Comments, but Variety of Opinions, concerning the difficult Parts of the Bible, viz. that his Countrymen might, now, read in their own Language, what has hitherto been conceal'd from them in Hebrew, Greek, and Latin.

A noble Attempt in a Papist! and his Work is so well executed, that I wish Encouragement were given to have it all translated into English.

However, tho' CALMET's Religion, and the Laws of his Country, would not permit him to quote so freely as he ought; yet, thank God, we have that Liberty here; and, I hope, the use I make of it won't want Encouragement, since my Design is the same with CALMET's, viz. publick Information.

His Religion, indeed, has no way to subsist, but by the Benefit of unknown Tongues; but the Truth of Holy Scripture, and of the Protestant Religion, want no learned Veils, or Foreign Couvertures.

English Popery is much more abominable, than the Romish!

I wou'd now have it remembred, that I shall produce nothing but what has been publish'd already in some Language or other; unless, perhaps, some private Piece, very new and extremely curious, should fall in my way. And I would have those Persons who are too fearful of my encouraging Scepticism by these Books, believe, that I shall insert no Opinions which give Offence either to Natural, or Reveal'd Religion; my intent being to establish Truth, which can only be done by comparing different Sentiments on the same Subject.

To let the Reader further into the Nature of my Design, I here present him with the Titles of my Articles, from the Creation, to the Deluge; by which he may form a Judgment of the rest.

I cannot make an End, without observing, that I shall neither oppose, nor interfere with the Proposals of Dr. INNES. The Doctor's Work (as I am told) is wholly Moral; mine is wholly Critical: He designs to make Men Better; my Aim is to make them Wiser.

The Doctor resolves, (as I hear) to pass by what ever has, hitherto, been written in the Moral way, on the Bible, and to moralize anew on it himself. I am in a quite different Train: I shall publish little or nothing of my own, nor shall I produce any one Author in the Doctor's way of Proceeding.

SIR, I Have inserted your Poem, and think you have done your self great Honour, by shewing so much Regard to a Person remarkably Eminent; besides a most laudable Zeal in recommending a Work, which is likely to prove of the Greatest Advantage to our Church in general, in this degenerate Age of Prophaness and Infidelity.

Article XII

From my own Chambers.

WHEN I was a young Man, I was very curious in collecting all the occasional State Tracts, or Pieces of Poetry, which were publish'd at that Time; and, upon looking them over, I find some, which I believe my Readers will think not altogether mal apropos at present. The following Verses are of this kind, which appear plainly enough to be levell'd at some Pensionary Parliament; but as the Author of this little Piece hath not sufficiently distinguished the Characters, which He designed to expose, by any particular Marks; so my Memory will not enable me to explain the Sentiments of the Publick on that Occasion. However, as it seems to contain a good, general Moral, I have ventur'd to give it to my Readers; and if it should happen to meet with any Success, I may, perhaps, communicate others, which are not to be met with in any of the publick Miscellanies of those Times.

The Progress of PATRIOTISM. A TALE.

Vendidit HIC Auro Patriam.

Article XIII

THERE is one kind of Conversation, which every one Aims at, and every one almost fails in; It is that of Story- telling. I know not any thing which engages our Attention with more Delight, when a Person has a sufficient stock of Talents Necessary for it, such as Good Sense, True Humour, a clear Head, a ready Command of Language, and a Variety of proper Gesture, to give Life and Spirit to what he says. If any of these be wanting, the Listners, instead of being diverted, are made very uneasy; but if the Person be utterly Void of them all, as it is very often the Case, he becomes a Nuissance to the Company, and they are so long upon the Rack as he speaks. It has sometimes fallen to my Lot, that a Man whom I never offended, has laid me under the Persecution of a long Story, and Compelled me to hear, what neither concerned himself, nor me, nor indeed any Body else, and at the same time, he was as much in earnest, as if both our Lives and Fortunes, and the Felicity of the whole Kingdom depended upon what he said. A Humour very unaccountable! That a Man shall be letting off Words for an hour or two, with a very innocent Intention, and after he has done his best, only makes me uneasy, and himself Contemptible.

This natural Infirmity in Men, is not only confined to Story-telling, but it appears likewise in every Essay whatsoever of their Intellectuals. As for Instance; If one of these be a Preacher of GOD's Word, by far fetched Criticisms, numerous Divisions, and Sub-divisions, in- coherent Digressions, tedious Repetitions, useless Remarks, Weak Answers to strong Objections, Inferences to no Premises, tedious Exhortations, and many other Methods of Protraction, he shall draw you out a Discourse for an hour and a quarter, unequally dispensing Opium and Edification to his Flock, there being seven Sleepers for one Hearer. If he be a Lawyer, he shall, by an uncommon Way of Amusement, run away with a Subject, which might be explained in two Minutes, and Dilate upon it two hours, with such a Volubility of Tongue, such Affluence of Expression, with something so like a good Style, and manner of Thinking, that the Judges and Jury, attend with as much Gravity, as if there were a continued Chain of true Reasoning, and solid Argument. If he be a Member of the Upper or Lower House, he does not proceed four Sentences, before the Rest know where to have him an hour hence; in the mean time they Divert one another, in talking of matters indifferent, till the Gentleman has done. I could give many more Instances, but that I think these sufficient for my present purpose; beside, least I should incur the like Reproach my self, I must in a few Words, divide the Story-tellers, into the short, the long, the marvellous, the Insipid, and the Delightful.

The short Story-teller is he, who tells a great deal in few Words, engages your Attention, pleases your Imagination, or quickly excites your Laughter. Of this Rank were Xenophon, Plutarch, Macrobius, among the Ancients. Ex. gr.

When the Nephelai of Aristophanes, a Satyr upon Socrates was Acting, his Friends desired him to retire, and hide behind them. No said Socrates, I will stand up here, where I may be seen; for now I think my self like a good Feast, and that every one has share of me. vid. Feast of Xenophon.

Brasidas the Famous Lacedemonian General caught a Mouse. It bit him, and by that means made its escape. O Jupiter, said he, what Creature so Contemptible, but may have it's Liberty if it will Contend for it. vid. Plutarch. de profect. virtut.

Diogenes having sailed to Chios, while it was under the Dominion of the Persians, said in a full Assembly, the Inhabitants were Fools for Erecting a Colledge, and Building Temples, since the Persians would not allow them the privilege of making their own Priests, but sent them over the most Illiterate of their Magi.

Augustus while he was encamped with his Army, some where near Mantua, was disturbed three Nights successively, by the hooting of an Owl. Proclamation was made to the Soldiers, that whoever caught the Offender, (so that he might be brought to Justice,) should have an ample reward for his pains. Every one was Loyally engaged in the pursuit of this Bird. At last, one more Vigilant than the rest, found him in a Hollow-tree, so brought him in Triumph to the Emperor, who saw him with the greatest Joy, but gave the Soldier a sum of Money, so far below his Expectation, that he let the Owl fly away that Instant, so true a Sense of Liberty, ran through the very meanest of the Romans. Macrob. Sat.

The long Story-teller is one, who tells little or nothing in a great number of Words; for this, many among the Moderns are famous, particularly the French. And among our selves in this Kingdom we have a vast Number of the better sort. As well as I can recollect there are six Deans, four Judges, six and thirty Councellors at Law, sixty five Attorneys, some few Fellows of the College, every Alderman through the whole Nation, except one, all old Gentlemen, and Ladies, without exception, five of the College of Physicians, three or four Lords, two hundred Squires, and some few People of distinction beside.

I shall here insert a fragment of a long Story, by way of example, containing 129 Words, which might have been said in these ten following, viz. Nine Years ago I was to Preach for a Friend.

I remember once, I think it was about seven Years ago--No I lye--It was about nine Years ago; for it was just when my Wife was Lying in of Dicky, I remember particularly the Mid-wife would have had me stay to keep her company, and it was the heaviest Day of Storm and Rain, that I ever saw before, or since, but because I engaged to Preach for a very Worthy Friend of mine, who lived about twenty Miles off, and this being Saturday, I could not defer it to the next Morning, though I had an excellent Nag, which could have Rid it in three hours, I bought him of a Neighbour one Mr. Masterson, yet because I would not put my Friend in a fright &c. Thus far he went in one Minute. The Story lasted an Hour, so that upon a fair computation he Spoke 7740 Words, instead of 600, by which means he made use of 7140 more than he had occasion for. If a right application were made of this hint, which I have given, it would be of admirable Effect in the dispatch of publick business, as well as private conversation, nay in the very Writing of Books, for which I refer the reader to the Fable of the Bees, and the two Elaborate Treatises, Written by the Learned Mr. H------ n.

The marvellous, is he, who is fond of telling such things as no Man alive, who has the least use of his reason, can believe. This humour prevails very much in Travellers, and the Vain glorious, but is very pardonable, because no Man's Faith is imposed upon, or if it should be so, no ill consequence attends it. And beside, there is some kind of Amusement in seeing a Person seriously extravagant, expecting another should give Credit to what he knows impossible for the greatest Dunce to Swallow.

One of these, who had travelled to Damascus, told his Company, that the Bees of that Country were as big as Turkies. Pray Sir, said a Gentleman (begging pardon for the Question) How large were the Hives? The same size with Ours, replied the Traveller. Very strange, said the other. But how got they into their Hives? That is none of my business, I Gad let them look to that.

Another, who had Travelled as far as Persia, spoke to his Man John, as he was returning home, telling him, how Necessary it was, that a Traveller should draw things beyond the Life, or else, he could not hope for that respect from his Country-Men, which otherwise he might have. But at the same time, John, said he, wheresoever I shall Dine, or Sup, keep you close to my Chair, and if I do very much exceed the bounds of Truth, Punch me behind, that I may correct my self. It happened on a Day, that he Dined with a Certain Gentleman, who shall be Nameless, where he affirmed, that he saw a Monkey in the Island Borneo, which had a Tail three- score Yards long. John punched him. I am certain it is fifty at least. John punched again. I believe to speak within compass, for I did not measure it, it must have been forty. John gave him tother Touch. I remember it lay over a Quick- set hedge, and therefore could not be less than thirty. John at him again. I could take my Oath it was twenty. This did not satisfy John. Upon which the Master turned about in a Rage and said, Damn you for a Puppy, would you have the Monkey without any Tail at all?

Did not the famous Dr. Burnet, whose History is much of the same stamp with his Travels, affirm that he saw an Elephant play at Ball? And that grave Gentleman Ysbrant Ides, in his Travels through Muscovy to China, assures us, that he saw Elephants, which were taught to low like Cows, to yell like Tigers, and to mimick the sounding of a Trumpet; but their highest Perfection, as he relates it, was that of singing like Canary birds. However this is not so marvellous (for Pliny relates Wonderful things of their Docility) as what a Gentleman told a full Company in my hearing within this fortnight. That he had seen a Show at Bristol, which was a Hare, taught to stand upon her hind- legs and bow to all the Company, to each Person in particular, with a very good Grace, and then proceed to beat several Marches on the Drum. After this a Dog was set upon the Table. His Master, the Show-man, made many grievous Complaints against him, for High Crimes, and Misdemeanors. The Hare nits her Brows, kindles her Eyes like a Lady, falls in a Passion, attacks the Dog with all her Rage and Fury, as if she had been his Wife, Scratches, bites, and cuffs him round the Table, till the Spectators had enough for their Money.

There is a certain Gentleman, now in Ireland, most remarkably fond of the marvellous (but this through Vanity) who among an infinite Number of the like Rarities, affirms, that he has a Carp, in a Pond by it self, which has for twenty Years past, supplyed him and his Friends, with a very good Dish of Fish, when they either came to Dine, or Sup with him. And the manner of it is thus. The Cook-maid goes with a large Kitchin-knife, which has a Whistle in its handle; she no sooner blows it, but the Carp comes to the Sluice and turns up its Belly, till she cuts out as much as she has occasion for, and then away it scuds. The Chasm is filled in a Day or two, and the Carp is as sound as a Roach, ready for the Knife again. Now, if he and his Cook-maid took the most solemn Oath to the truth of this, or the most sanctifyed Quaker should say YEA to it, which is made equal to any Prelate's Oath, I would no more give Credit to them, than I would to the Collonel, who said he was at the Battle of Landen, where his Majesty King William, of Glorious Memory, lost the Day. And this Collonel, being in the utmost Confusion, fled among the rest. He Swore he had Galloped above two miles, after his Horses Head was Shot off, by a Cannon-ball, which he should not have missed, if the poor Creature had not stooped at a River side to Drink.

I should be glad to spend an Evening with half a dozen Gentlemen of this uncommon Genius, for I am certain they would improve upon one another, and thereby I might have an Oportunity of observing how far the Marvellous could be carryed, or whether it has any bounds at all.

The insipid, who may not unfitly be called Soporifick, is one who goes plodding on in a heavy dull Relation of unimportant Facts. You Shall have an Account from such a Person of every Minute Circumstance, which happened in the Company where he has been, what he did, and what they did, what they said, and what he said, with a Million of trite Phrases, with an and so beginning every Sentence. And to make a long Story short. And as I was saying, with many more expletives of equal Signification. It is a most dreadful thing, when Men have neither the Talent of speaking, nor the Discretion of holding their Tongues, and that, of all People, such as are least qualifyed, are commonly the most earnest in this way of Conversation.

The Delightful Story-teller is one, who speaks not a Word too much, or too little; who can, in a very careless manner, give a great deal of pleasure to others, and desires rather to Divert, than be Applauded; who shews good understanding, and a delicate turn of Wit in every thing which comes from him; who can entertain his Company better with the History of a Child and its Hobby-horse, than one of the Soporificks can with an Account of Alexander, and Bucephalus. Such a Person is not unlike a bad Reader who makes the most ingenious Piece his own, that is, Dull and Detestable, by only coming through his Mouth. But to return to the Delightful Story-teller, I cannot describe him by any Words so well, as his own, and therefore take the following Story to shew him in the most agreeable light.

A Mountebank in Leicester-Fields had drawn a huge Assembly about him; among the rest a Fat unwieldy Fellow, half stifled in the Press, would be every fit Crying out Lord! what a filthy Crowd is here! pray good People give Way a litle! bless me! what a Devil has raked this Rable together? Zounds what squeezing is this! Honest Friend remove your Elbow. At last a Weaver, that stood next him, could hold no longer. A Plague confound you, said he, for an Over grown Sloven; and who, in the Devil's Name, helps to make up the Crowd half so much as your self? Don't you consider (with a Pox) that you take up more room with that Carcass than any five here? Is not the Place as fit for us, as for you? bring your own Guts to a reasonable Compass (and be Damnd) and then I'll engage we shall have room enough for us all.

This I have transcribed from a most Celebrated Author, with great pleasure, and do earnestly recommend it to my Country-men, as the true standard of Story-telling, both as to Style, and Manner, and every thing requisite not only to please the Hearer, but to gain his favour and Affection. And for the Time to come, be it Enacted, that if any person, of what Rank soever, shall presume to exceed Six Minutes in a Story, to hum or haw, use hyphens between his Words, or Digressions, or offers to engage the Company to hear another Story when he has done, or speaks one Word more than is Necessary, or is a Stammerer in his Speech, that then it shall, and may be lawful for any one of the said Company, or the whole Company together, to pull out his, hers, or their Watches to make use of broad hints, or inuendoes for him the said Story-teller, to break off, although abruptly, otherwise he is to have a Glove, or Handkerchief, crammed into his Mouth for the first default, and for the second, to be kicked out of Company.

Article XIV

THERE is an old Heathen Story, That Prometheus, who was a Potter in Greece, took a frolick to turn all the Clay in his Shop into Men and Women, separating the Fine from the Course, in order to distinguish the Sexes. The Males were formed of a mixture Blue and Red, as being of the toughest Consistence, fitter for Creatures destin'd to Hardships, Labour, and difficult Enterprizes; the Females were molded out of the most refined Stuff, much of the like substance with China-ware, Transparent, and Brittle; designing them rather for Show and Beauty, than to be of any real use in Life, farther than that of Generation. By the Transparency he intended the Men might see so plainly through them, that they should not be capable of Hypocrisy, Falshood or Intrigue; and by their britleness, he taught them, they were to be handled with a Tenderness suitable to their delicacy of Constitution.

It was pleasant enough, to see with what Contrivance and Order, he disposed of his Journey-men in their several Appartments, and how judiciously he assigned each of them his Work, according to his Natural Capacity, and Talents, so that every Member, and part of the Humane Frame, was finished with the utmost exactness and Beauty.

In one Chamber you might see a Leg-shaper; in another a Skull-roller; in a third an Arm-stretcher; in a fourth a Gut-winder; for each Workman was distinguished by a proper Term of Art, such as Knuckle-turner, Tooth-grinder, Rib- cooper, Muscle-maker, Tendon-drawer, Paunch-blower, Vein- brancher, and such like; but Prometheus himself made the Eyes, the Ears, and the Heart, which, because of their Nice and Intricate Structure, were chiefly the business of a Master-Workman. Beside this, he compleated the whole, by fitting and joyning the several parts together, according to the best Symetry and Proportion. The Statues are now upon their Legs. Life the chief ingredient is wanting, Prometheus takes a Ferula in his Hand, (a Reed of the Island Chios having an Oily Pith) steals up the Back-stairs to Apollo's Lodgings, lights it Clandestinely at the Chariot of the Sun, so down he creeps upon his Tip-toes to his Ware-house, and in a very few Minutes, by an Application of the Flame to the Nostrils of his Clay Images, sets them all a stalking and staring through one another, but intirely insensible of what they were doing. They looked so like the latter end of a Lord-Mayor's Feast, he could not bear the sight of them. He then saw it was absolutely Necessary to give them Passions, or Life would be an insipid thing, and so from the Super- abundance of them in other Animals, he culls out enough for his purpose, which he Blended and Tempered so well, before Infusion, that his Men and Women became the most amiable Creatures, that thought can conceive.

Love was then like a pure Vestal-flame, not made up of sudden Joy, Transports, and Extasies, but Constant, Friendly and Benevolent.

Anger did not appear horrid, and frightful by Turbulent Emotions of the Breast, and Distortions of the Face, but preserved a Dignity of Resentment in the Countenance, commanding a Reverential awe in the Offender.

Fear did not in the least encroach upon the Bounds of Fortitude, by a slavish Dejection of Spirits, nor was it ever seen upon any occasion, but as a Monitor, to prevent the doing of any Action, which might be attended with Disgrace, or Repentance.

In the same manner was every Passion and Appetite under the best Regulation and Dominion of reason. The World would have been a most delightful Scene had People continued in this Situation, but alass! there can be no Happiness here without a mixture of misery.

Prometheus is apprehended for his Theft, and Presumption, bound fast in Chains to a Rock, with a Vulture to prey upon his Liver. His Journey-men get Drunk for joy, they were now their own Masters, during which interval, they fall to Man and Woman making with excessive Precipitation and hurry. Now you might see a small Head set upon a pair of broad Shoulders; a Nose too long, too short, too thick, too small, or awry on the Face; A large heavy Carcass reard upon a small pair of Spindle Shanks, by which means they became bandy; a long Chin to a short Face; One Arm longer than the other; Eyes too big for their Sockets; Mouths three times too wide, or too narrow; every Part and Limb almost chosen and put together at random. But to conclude the Farce, when they came to the Passion-work, instead of blending, and tempering them in true Proportion, they took them from the worst of Animals simply, and by guess. To one was given the Rage and Fury of a Wolf. Hence came a most Virulent, Persecuting, Malicious Villain; from whom has descended those boistrous and outragious Pests of Society, who are every Day disturbing our Peace; the only blessing we can enjoy upon Earth. To another the Poison and Rancour of a Toad, from whom sprang the revengeful, who upon the least touch of Offence, are ever upon the watch, to ruin the inadvertent. To another the Subtilty and Cunning of a Fox, from whom we trace the Politician, who turns all the motions of his Soul to Seducing, Betraying, Surprizing, Fair- Promises with foul Intentions, perpetual Stratagems to his own advantage, under the Specious appearance of the publick Good.

To another the Alertness of a Monkey. He begat a large family of Jibers, Buffoons, and Mimicks; these are a numerous breed and dispersed over the Face of the whole Earth. The chief business of their Lives is to make People laugh at one another, and not to spare even their nearest Friends; who while they are Copying the imperfections of others, bring themselves to be Originals. You may distinguish this happy Race by their Hawk-noses, One Eye less than t'other, and a perpetual Sneer, which by repeated Habit, becomes inseparable from their Faces. To another the Pride of a Peacock. He turns Beau, stiches all the Tinsel about him, that he can; hangs a Tayl to his Head, and so Walks through the World. To another the Gluttony, Laziness and Luxury of a Hog. From him are descended your pamper'd Citizens, and others, whose chief exercise consists in Eating and Drinking: They are very easily distinguished by the Plumpness and Rotundity of their Dewlap, the Torosity of their Necks and Breasts, and the prominence of their Abdomen. Numberless are the Instances might be given of the predominance of Brutes, thus occasioned in Men, but that I hasten to give a Summary Account of the Animals, chiefly chosen by these Journey-men, to give proper accomplishments to the other Sex, viz. Cats, Ferets, Weazels, Vipers, Magpies, Geese, Wagtails, Rats, Stoats, Ratle-Sneaks, Wasps, Hornets, and some few others. It is needless to inform the Reader, what Qualities were infused from these, when he can behold them so plainly in one half or more of his Female Acquaintance. And I dare venture to say, that you can hardly go into a Family, where you may not distinguish some one Lady eminently remarkable for a lively resemblance to one, or more of the aforesaid Animals. Upon the whole, I shall make this Remark, that the Handy-work of Prometheus, and their Progeny, are to be distinguished with the greatest ease, from that of his Journey-men; his being all Humane, Benevolent, Easy, Affable, Good-humoured, Charitable and Friendly; whereas those of his Journey-men are Cruel, Malicious, Turbulent, Morose, Ill-natured, Snarling, Quarrelsome, Pragmatical, Covetous, and Inhuman, which we dayly experience among the great Vulgar and the Small, nor can all the Power of Art, or Education, intirely Wash away the Dirt of the Journey-man's Palm, or quite Abolish, or restrain that Exuberance of wrong Passions which are owing to the cause already assigned. And I will say farther, that I know nothing else in Nature, but what may by Cultivation, or Chymistry change it's Nature, such Persons only excepted, who have had a wrong Impression at first, and Human Excrements; But this being of too foul a Nature, to bear a Dissertation in prose, I shall Transcribe it, as it was Cooked up in verse, for the Taste of the Polite, being a very fit Emblem, to explain this Great, and useful Maxim, That there is no method, as yet found out, to change Natural Inclination.

THE TALE OF THE T--D.

Article XV

I Do remember to have Read an Account, that an Ode which Pindar Writ, in honour to the Island Delos, was Inscribed in the Temple of Minerva, at Athens, in large Letters of Gold; A publick and very laudable acknowledgment for the Poet's Ingenuity, and for no more than a bare Compliment! Such was the encouragement given by the great, and publick Spirited Athenians. Had the same Poet, inspired by a Noble and Heroick Ardor, by another Ode, awakened and rouzed their whole State against an invading Enemy; or opened their Eyes against any Secret and Wicked Contrivers of their Destruction, they would have erected him a Statue at least. But Alass that Spirit is fled from the World! and, long since neglected. Virtue is become her own Pay-master. My Country-men, I hope, will forgive me, if I complain there has been so little Notice taken of a small, but most excellent Pamphlet, Written by the DRAPIER. It is Intitled, A SHORT VIEW OF THE STATE OF IRELAND. There never was any Treatise yet published, with a Zeal more generous for the Universal good of a Nation, or a design more seasonable, considering our present lamentable Condition, yet we listen not to the Voice of the Charmer. Whereas it should have been Inscribed in Capital Letters (as Glorious as those of the Poet) in the most publick part of every Corporation-town, through this whole Kingdom, that People might behold the several unprovoked causes of their Poverty, our Offences towards Heaven excepted. Nay, I will proceed farther, and say, that every Head of every Family, ought to instruct the Children so far in this most incomparable Pamphlet, that they should not only understand, but be able, to repeat by Heart every single Paragraph, through the Whole. This was the Method laid down by the wisest Law-giver, that ever the World produced; To gain the Hearts of the People, by working upon their Memories.

Deut. chap. 6. v. 7. And thou shalt Teach them diligently unto thy Children, and shalt talk of them, when thou sittest in thine House, and when thou walkest by the Way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

8. And thou shalt bind them for a Sign upon thine Hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine Eyes.

9. And thou shalt Write them upon the Posts of thy House, and on thy Gates.

And, where would be the great Trouble, since we have little else to do, if every Man would read a Lecture of the Short View every Day in his Family, after Reading Prayers? Nor do I think the expence would be extravagant, if he should have every Page of it Re-printed, to be hung up in Frames, in every Chamber of his House. That it might be as evident, as, the Hand Writing on the Wall.

And, since I have ventured thus far, to praise and recommend this most inimitable Piece, let me Speak a few Words in favour of it's AUTHOR.

I would propose to My Country-men, before all their MONY goes off, (it is going as fast as possible) to convert it into a few Statues to the DRAPIER, in those Memorable parts of this Kingdom, where our Heroes have shone with the greatest Lustre, in Defence of our Liberty, and the PROTESTANT RELIGION over all Europe. At DERRY, at ENNISKILLEN, at BOYN, at AUGHRIM. Nor would it be amiss, to set up a few more about our Metropolis, with that Glorious Inscription Libertas et Natale Solum.

If our MONY were metamorphosed upon such a good occasion, as this, it would not be in the Power of any * Cypselus, \note begins\

* Cypselus, A Governor of Corinth, who Contrived a Tax, which

brought all the Mony of that State to himself in ten Years Time.

vid. Aristot. polit.

\note ends\ to get it into his own Coffers, and it would be the only method, to prevent it's being carry'd off, except our Vice-roys should Act like the Roman Prefects, and Run away with our very Statues.

Courteous READER, Mark well what follows. I Am assured that it hath for some time been practised as a method of making Men's Court, when they are asked about the Rate of Lands, the Abilities of Tenants, the State of Trade and Manufacture in this Kingdom, and how their Rents are payed; to Answer, That in their Neighbourhood all things are in a flourishing Condition, the Rent and Purchase of Land every Day encreasing. And if a Gentleman happens to be a little more sincere in his Representations, besides being looked on as not well affected, he is sure to have a Dozen Contradictors at his Elbow. I think it is no manner of Secret why these Questions are so cordially asked, or so obligingly Answered.

But since with Regard to the Affairs of this Kingdom, I have been using all Endeavours to subdue my Indignation, to which indeed I am not provoked by any Personal Interest, being not the Owner of one Spot of Ground in the whole Island, I shall only enumerate by Rules generally known, and never Contradicted, what are the true Causes of any Countries flourishing and growing Rich, and then examine what Effects arise from those Causes in the Kingdom of Ireland.

The first Cause of a Kindgom's thriving is the Fruitfulness of the Soyl, to produce the Necessaries and Conveniencies of Life, not only sufficient for the Inhabitants, but for Exportation into other Countries.

The Second, is the Industry of the People in Working up all their Native Commodities to the last degree of Manufacture.

The Third, is the Conveniency of safe Ports and Havens, to Carry out their own Goods, as much manufactured, and bring in those of others, as little manufactured, as the Nature of mutual Commerce will allow.

The Fourth, is, That the Natives should as much as possible, Export and Import their Goods in Vessels of their own Timber, made in their own Country.

The Fifth, is the Liberty of a free Trade in all Foreign Countries which will permit them, except to those who are in War with their own Prince or State.

The Sixth, is, by being Governed only by Laws made with their own Consent, for otherwise they are not a free People. And therefore all Appeals for Justice, or Applications for Favour or Preferment to another Country, are so many grievous Impoverishments.

The Seventh, is, by Improvement of Land, encouragement of Agriculture, and thereby encreasing the Number of their People, without which any Country, however Blessed by Nature, must continue Poor.

The Eighth, is the Residence of the Prince, or Chief Administrator of the Civil Power.

The Ninth, is the Concourse of Foreigners for Education, Curiosity or Pleasure, or as to a general Mart of Trade.

The Tenth, is by disposing all Offices of Honour, Profit or Trust, only to the Natives, or at least with very few Exceptions, where Strangers have long Inhabited the Country, and are supposed to Understand, and regard the Interest of it as their own.

The Eleventh is, when the Rents of Lands, and Profits of Employments, are spent in the Country which produced them, and not in another, the former of which will certainly happen, where the Love of our Native Country prevails.

The Twelfth, is by the publick Revenues being all Spent and Employed at Home, except on the Occasions of a Foreign War.

The Thirteenth, is, where the People are not obliged, unless they find it for their own Interest, or Conveniency, to receive any Monies, except of their own Coynage by a publick Mint, after the manner of all Civilized Nations.

The Fourteenth, is a Disposition of the People of a Country to wear their own Manufactures, and Import as few Incitements to Luxury, either in Cloaths, Furniture, Food or Drink, as they possibly can live conveniently without.

There are many other Causes of a Nation's thriving, which I cannot at present recollect; but without Advantage from at least some of these, after turning my Thoughts a long time, I am not able to discover from whence our Wealth proceeds, and therefore would gladly be better informed. In the mean time, I will here examine what share falls to Ireland of these Causes, or of the Effects and Consequences.

It is not my Intention to complain, but barely to relate Facts, and the matter is not of small Importance. For it is allowed, that a Man who lives in a Solitary House far from help, is not Wise in endeavouring to acquire in the Neighbourhood, the Reputation of being Rich, because those who come for Gold, will go off with Pewter and Brass, rather than return empty; and in the common Practice of the World, those who possess most Wealth, make the least Parade, which they leave to others, who have nothing else to bear them out, in shewing their Faces on the Exchange.

As to the first Cause of a Nation's Riches, being the Fertility of the Soyl, as well as Temperature of Clymate, we have no Reason to complain; for although the Quantity of unprofitable Land in this Kingdom, reckoning Bog, and Rock, and barren Mountain, be double in Proportion to what it is in England, yet the Native Productions which both Kingdoms deal in, are very near on equality in point of Goodness, and might with the same Encouragement be as well manufactured. I except Mines and Minerals, in some of which however we are only defective in point of Skill and Industry.

In the Second, which is the Industry of the People, our misfortune is not altogether owing to our own Fault, but to a million of Discouragements.

The conveniency of Ports and Havens which Nature bestowed us so liberally is of no more use to us, than a beautiful Prospect to a Man shut up in a Dungeon.

As to Shipping of it's own, this Kingdom is so utterly unprovided, that of all the excellent Timber cut down within these fifty or sixty Years, it can hardly be said that the Nation hath received the Benefit of one valuable House to dwell in, or one Ship to Trade with.

Ireland is the only Kingdom I ever heard or read of, either in ancient or modern Story, which was denyed the Liberty of exporting their native Commodities and Manufactures wherever they pleased, except to Countries at War with their own Prince or State, yet this by the Superiority of meer Power is refused us in the most momentous parts of Commerce, besides an Act of Navigation to which we never consented, pinned down upon us, and rigorously executed, and a thousand other unexampled Circumstances as grievous as they are invidious to mention. To go unto the Rest.

It is too well known that we are forced to obey some Laws we never consented to, which is a Condition I must not call by it's true uncontroverted Name, for fear of my L-- C-- J-- W--'s Ghost with his LIBERTAS ET NATALE SOLUM, written as a Motto on his Coach, as it stood at the Door of the Court, while he was Perjuring himself to betray both. Thus, we are in the Condition of Patients who have Physick sent them by Doctors at a Distance, Strangers to their Constitution, and the nature of their Disease: And thus, we are forced to pay five hundred per Cent to decide our Properties, in all which we have likewise the Honour to be distinguished from the whole Race of Mankind.

As to improvement of Land, those few who attempt that or Planting, through Covetousness or want of Skill, generally leave things worse than they were, neither succeeding in Trees nor Hedges, and by running into the fancy of Grazing after the manner of the Scythians, are every Day depopulating the Country.

We are so far from having a King to reside among us, that even the Viceroy is generally absent four Fifths of his time in the Government.

No Strangers from other Countries make this a part of their Travels, where they can expect to see nothing but Scenes of Misery and Desolation.

Those who have the Misfortune to be born here, have the least Title to any considerable Employment, to which they are seldom preferred, but upon a Political Consideration.

One third part of the Rents of Ireland is spent in England, which with the Profit of Employments, Pensions, Appeals, Journeys of Pleasure or Health, Education at the Inns of Court, and both Universities, Remittances at Pleasure, the Pay of all Superior Officers in the Army and other Incidents, will amount to a full half of the Income of the whole Kingdom, all clear profit to England.

We are denyed the Liberty of Coining Gold, Silver, or even Copper. In the Isle of Man, they Coin their own Silver; every petty Prince, Vassal to the Emperor can Coin what Money he pleaseth. And in this as in most of the Articles already mentioned, we are an exception to all other States or Monarchies that were ever known in the World.

As to the last, or Fourteenth Article, we take special Care to Act diametrically contrary to it in the whole Course of our Lives. Both Sexes, but especially the Women despise and abhor to wear any of their own Manufactures, even those which are better made than in other Countries, particularly a sort of Silk Plad, through which the Workmen are forced to run a sort of Gold-thread that it may pass for Indian. Even Ale and Potatoes in great quantity are Imported from England as well as Corn, and our foreign Trade is little more than Importation of French Wine, for which I am told we pay ready Money.

Now if all this be true, upon which I could easily enlarge, I would be glad to know by what secret method it is that we grow a Rich and Flourishing People, without Liberty, Trade, Manufactures, Inhabitants, Money, or the privilege of Coining; without Industry, Labour or Improvement of Lands, and with more than half of the Rent and Profits of the whole Kingdom, Annually exported, for which we receive not a single Farthing: And to make up all this, nothing worth mentioning, except the Linnen of the North, a Trade casual, corrupted and at Mercy, and some Butter from Cork. If we do flourish, it must be against every Law of Nature and Reason, like the Thorn at Glassenbury, that blossoms in the midst of Winter.

Let the worthy C------rs who come from England ride round the Kingdom, and observe the face of Nature, or the faces of the Natives, the Improvement of the Land, the thriving numerous Plantations, the noble Woods, the abundance and vicinity of Country-Seats, the commodious Farmers-Houses and Barns, the Towns and Villages, where every body is busy and thriving with all kind of Manufactures, the Shops full of Goods wrought to Perfection, and filled with Customers, the comfortable Dyet and Dress, and Dwellings of the People, the vast Numbers of Ships in our Harbours and Docks, and Shipwrights in our Seaport-Towns, the Roads crouded with Carryers laden with rich Manufactures, the perpetual Concourse to and fro of pompous Equipages.

With what Envy and Admiration would these Gentlemen return from so delightful a Progress? What glorious Reports would they make when they went back to England?

But my Heart is too heavy to continue this Irony longer, for it is manifest that whatever Stranger took such a Journey, would be apt to think himself travelling in Lapland or Ysland, rather than in a Country so favoured by Nature as Ours, both in Fruitfulness of Soyl, and Temperature of Climate. The miserable Dress, and Dyet, and Dwelling of the People. The general Desolation in most parts of the Kingdom. The old Seats of the Nobility and Gentry all in Ruins, and no new Ones in their stead. The Families of Farmers who pay great Rents, living in Filth and Nastiness upon Butter-milk and Potatoes, without a Shoe or Stocking to their Feet, or a House so convenient as an English Hog-sty to receive them. These indeed may be comfortable sights to an English Spectator, who comes for a short time only to learn the Language, and returns back to his own Country, whither he finds all our Wealth transmitted.

Nostr[acirc ] miseri[acirc ] magnus es.

There is not one Argument used to prove the Riches of Ireland, which is not a logical Demonstration of it's Poverty. The Rise of our Rents is squeesed out of the very Blood and Vitals, and Cloaths, and Dwellings of the Tenants, who live worse than English Beggars. The lowness of Interest, in all other Countries a sign of Wealth, is in us a proof of misery, there being no Trade to employ any Borrower. Hence alone comes the Dearness of Land, since the Savers have no other way to lay out their Money. Hence the Dearness of Necessaries for Life, because the Tenants cannot afford to pay such extravagant Rates for Land (which they must take, or go a begging) without raising the Price of Cattle, and of Corn, although themselves should live upon Chaff. Hence our encrease of Buildings in this City, because Workmen have nothing to do but employ one another, and one half of them are infallibly undone. Hence the daily encrease of Bankers, who may be a necessary Evil in a Trading- Country, but so ruinous in Ours, who for their private Advantage have sent away all our Silver, and one third of our Gold; so that within three Years past, the running Cash of the Nation, which was about Five hundred thousand Pounds, is now less than two, and must daily diminish unless we have Liberty to Coin, as well as that important Kingdom the Isle of Man, and the meanest Prince in the German Empire, as I before observed.

I have sometimes thought, that this Paradox of the Kingdom growing Rich, is chiefly owing to those worthy Gentlemen the BANKERS, who, except some Custom-house Officers, Birds of Passage, oppressive thrifty 'Squires, and a few others that shall be Nameless, are the only thriving People among us: And I have often wished that a Law were enacted to hang up half a Dozen Bankers every Year, and thereby interpose at least some short Delay, to the further Ruin of Ireland.

Ye are idle, ye are idle, answered Pharoah to the Isrælites, when they complained to his MAJESTY, that they were forced to make Bricks without Straw.

England enjoys every one of these Advantages for enriching a Nation, which I have above enumerated, and into the Bargain, a good Million returned to them every Year without Labour or Hazard, or one Farthing value received on our side. But how long we shall be able to continue the payment, I am not under the least Concern. One thing I know, that when the Hen is starved to Death, there will be no more Golden Eggs.

I think it a little unhospitable, and others may call it a subtil piece of Malice, that, because there may be a Dozen Families in this Town able to entertain their English Friends in a generous manner at their Tables, their Guests upon their Return to England, shall report that we wallow in Riches and Luxury.

Yet I confess I have known an Hospital, where all the Household-Officers grew Rich, while the Poor for whose sake it was built, were almost starving for want of Food and Raiment.

To Conclude. If Ireland be a rich and flourishing Kingdom, it's Wealth and Prosperity must be owing to certain Causes, that are yet concealed from the whole Race of Mankind, and the Effects are equally Invisible. We need not wonder at Strangers when they deliver such Paradoxes, but a Native and Inhabitant of this Kingdom, who gives the same Verdict, must be either ignorant to Stupidity, or a Man- pleaser at the Expence of all Honour, Conscience and Truth.

Article XVI

Mr. Intelligencer.

IT may appear to you perhaps a thing very unnatural, to receive a Complaint from a Son against his Father, but the treatment, which I meet with from mine, is of such a Nature, that it is impossible for me not to complain.

You must know there are three Brethren of us, George, Patrick, and Andrew; I am the second, but the last in Affection with my Father, for which I call Heaven and Earth to Witness, I never committed any Fault to incur his displeasure, or to deserve his neglect. But so it is, that the best of Men have oftentimes been misled in the choice of their Minions, and very undiscerning in conferring their favours where they ought.

If Parents could but once bring themselves to be impartial, it would beyond all doubt, produce a delightful Union in their Children, and be the most binding Cement, that could be thought of, to preserve their Affections, because an equal Dispensation of favours would entirely remove all cause of murmuring, repining, or envy. And, what is of the greatest Consequence, would secure the love and esteem of their Children; whereas a partial behaviour in Parents, must necessarily produce the contrary.

But to State my Case, in the best manner I can, and with an unbiassed regard to Truth, I think it first necessary to give you our Characters, with an Account of my Father's behaviour, that you may be the better able to give me your Advice.

First then, to begin with my Brother George. He was ever a great lover of his Belly, and formerly used to Cram himself with Beef, Pudding, and White-pot, but for some time past, he has taken more delight in New-fangled Toss-ups, and French Kick-shaws. This high Feeding does naturally dispose him to be Haughty, Stuborn, Cholerick and Rebellious, insomuch, that beside his insults towards others, he is ready, upon all occasions, to fly in his own Father's Face, and apt to despise every Body, but himself.

He is so various in his Opinions, that he is of as many Religions, as there are and have been Sects, since the beginning of Christianity; but the True and Reformed Church, as by Law Established, is what he chiefly frequents. He was once a great Admirer of Ancient Learning, but he has long since quitted this, for the Reading of News-Papers, Pamphlets, and Modern Languages. In his younger Years, he was fond of Manly Exercises, such as Fencing, Leaping, Boxing, Pitching the Bar, Wrestling, Hurling, Foot-ball, Hunting, &c. But of late he has faln into a strange and unaccountable Effeminacy, and seems to take delight in nothing, but Masquerades, Plays, and Italian Operas. He is very fond of Italian Magnificent Buildings, although entirely inconsistent with our Climate, extravagant in the highest degree, in purchasing fine Paintings, and Statues, and no less expensive in vast extensive Parks and Gardens, by which means, he has almost run out all his Fortune.

My youngest Brother Andrew, who has cunning enough to outwit the Devil, joyned with Brother George some Years ago, and they manage so dextrously together, that whatever they say is a Law with my Father; however, they are not without their Quarrels now and then, but Brother Andrew still comes by the worst, although he is cautious enough, to go always armed; for Brother George wears a longer Sword. Brother Andrew is not very nice in his Food, but loves fine Cloaths. This I suppose he has learned abroad; for he is a great Traveller. His chief Studies are Mathematicks, and the Civil-law, in both which he has made a considerable Progress. As for his Religion, although he openly professes himself a most Rigid Fanatick of the Kirk, yet he is shrewdly suspected, to have a hankering after Popery. He has one eminent bad Quality, which is, that he cannot easily forgive and forget. I remember I was once so unfortunate, as to tell a fair Lady, (a Mistress of mine) before his Face, that I would stand by her against him, and all her other Adversaries, which he took hainously ill, and has not forgiven me to this hour, but lies upon the Watch, to do me all the ill Offices he can.

I come now to my own Character, in which I shall not Conceal, nor Gloss over my Vices, Errors, or Failings, but at the same time, I shall not think it inconsistent with Modesty, to tell you my Virtues.

I have but a small Fortune, can hardly keep Soul and Body together, yet out of a regard to my Family, which is very Ancient, I love to make what they call a Figure, upon extraordinary occasions. And now and then I furnish my Table with Victuals, and Liquors of the best kinds, which makes my Father, and Brother George, think I have got the World in a String. I am kind and hospitable to Strangers, although they frequently Rob my House, and turn my Children to ly in the Barn.

I am so fond of Learning, that I put them to the best School in the Kingdom, and I plainly see they will be only the wiser, but never the richer for it, because my Father uses all his Interest for brother Georges Sons, and the greatest Dunce among them shall be better provided for, than the most Ingenious of mine. And I must say I have some who are equal in Learning to the best of his. I had a designe once, to follow Merchandise; that I might be the better able to Provide for my Poor Children, but Brother George having a mind to make a Monopoly, prevailed upon my Father, to join against me, and so at last they contrived it, that I should sell nothing but a few of my Catle, and some Linnen Cloath, which is all the Support I have; Whereas brother George can Sell every thing he has, all the World over. And so cruel is he to me, that he will not let me have even a bit of his dirt, if he thinks it will be of any advantage to me. My Religion is of three Sorts, The Established, Popish and Presbyterian, but I have a greater Share of the First in me. I think it is best, because it encourages obedience to my Father, more than either of the other two. It is not long since Brother George, and Andrew, were in a confederacy against my Father, with an Intent to turn him out of his House, and give another the Possession, at which critical Juncture, I mustered up a great Number of my Sons, and Servants, to his Assistance, and for ought I know saved both his Life, and Fortune.

Soon after this, I had like to have been ruined by a Project; for one of my Brother George's Family endeavoured to perswade my Father, that Gold, and Silver, were of no use to me, and desired leave to furnish me with a few Counters, in lieu thereof, and I fear I should have been so Weak, as to accept of them, had it not been for the Seasonable Remonstrances, made by Some of my own House.

These are a fewe of the many Hardships I have suffered, notwithstanding all which, I am willing to continue a Passive Obedience, to my Dear Father; for I have Reason to believe, that his unkindness to me is owing to ill Advisers, who have prejudiced him against me, and my Children; but I Hope, before long, he will be able to distinguish his most faithful Son. In the mean time, I do humbly entreat the Favour of you to Write a Letter to my Father, which he may See in Print, for I Fear all my Letters to him hitherto have been Intercepted.

SIR, YOU have not told me your Father's Name, nor his Quality, and therefore I am at a loss in what manner I should Address him. But in common Humanity (because I think your case deplorable) I will give you what Comfort I am able, together with my best Advice.

You are not the only Instance of Suffering Innocence, and therefore it ought not to Surprize you that Providence (for reasons unaccountable to us) has laid two great Tryals in your way, Oppression from your Brethern, and Unkindness from your Father, this too without any Fault on your Side. If you did not meet with these Afflictions, you would want an Opportunity of shewing your Humility, and Resignation, as I understand you do not by your Letter.

Let me Advise you, to consider that your Condition is not quite so Lamentable, as that of Joseph, who triumphed in GOD's own time over all his Misfortunes, and sufferings, and at last had the pleasure of doing good, even to his Persecutors; but indeed there is this Difference, that his grievance was chiefly from his Brethern; for had his Father joined in the Cruelty, the Wounds would have Pierced nearer to his Heart.

I do not in the least doubt, but there are some about your Father, who do you ill Offices, (I hope some time or other they will be detected). You may find a convenient Oportunity of getting fairly at him. State your Case and expostulate with him concerning your own and your Children's Sufferings. When he hears your Story, and beholds your Sincerity, you may be sure of his Compassion, and a Redress; for there is no Heart so hard as not to Sympathize with real Woe, no Advocate so Powerful, as Innocence. In the mean time, let me Conjure you, not to turn aside to the Right or to the Left, from that indispensable Duty, which the express Laws of GOD enjoin you, for let me assure you, that Ingratitude to a Parent is, no less than Rebellion, like the Sin of Witchcraft.

I Commit you to his Care and Direction, who is best able to Govern the unruly affections of Men, to turn the Hearts of the Malicious, and to Relieve and Support those who suffer for the Sake of Righteousness.

Article XVII

Mr. Intelligencer,

HAVING lately, with great Candor, and Impartiality, perused some of your Papers, upon the Distress and Poverty of this Island, which you take care to describe in the most Pathetick manner, you must forgive me if I differ from you, and think it one of the most Flourishing and Wealthy Kingdoms in the whole world, and to support my Opinion, I will venture to affirm, that there never was such Affluence of ready Cash, as at this present juncture; For have we not more Bankers than ever were known among us? And whether the Money Circulates in Specie, or Paper, it is the same thing to us, since those, who would rather have Cash than Paper, can (as is well known) have their choice, whenever they please. It is to be presumed that no Banker gives a NOTE before the Money is first laid down on his Counter; then of Consequence there is as much Money, as there is Paper, and that we have a great deal of Paper is most certain, therefore a great deal of Money. But I will proceed farther, and prove that we have much more Money than Paper, because there are Multitudes who keep their own Money. This appears from the great number of Iron-chests imported from Holland, within these last seven Years; For what use can they be of, but to lodge Money. They are at least two hundred. We will suppose, that these, one with another, may contain two thousand pounds a piece, then the Sum total, amounts to Four hundred thousand pounds, which is so much Superfluous, and unnecessary Cash.

If this Island were not very Wealthy, it is strongly to be presumed, That so many Wise and Able Heads, Men of great Learning and Superior Talents, whose Reputations reacht us from distant Regions, long before they came among us, so well distinguished in their own Countries for their great Knowledge, in their several professions, and here more especially; remarkable for their speaking in publick, and their profound Skill in Religion, Politicks, and Law; I say that Men of such Accomplishments would never quit their own Native Soil, where so many great Estates are daily made, if they were not sure that this Island must, on Account of its greater Wealth, Afford them Opportunities of making larger Acquisitions, than they could at home.

Have not almost all the Gentlemen through this Kingdom, for some years past, declined all profitable Employments, and left them to be filled by others. Can there be a stronger Argument of their Wealth, than their choosing to live at their ease, out of Office, rather than be at the small trouble, which attends the discharge of a beneficial Employment?

Could so many Estated Gentlemen, through the North of Ireland, afford to keep so much of their Lands waste, and untenanted, if they had not Money enough by them, to live without Tenants, and would not the Tenants likewise be glad, to take this Waste Land to Plow, and Sow, but that they have ready money enough to buy Bread Corn, and other Necessaries, from all the World beside.

As another signal mark of our Riches, there is Scarce a Gentleman, who does not educate his Sons at our UNIVERSITY (which as the World sees, wants not it's due Encouragement) where they live at vast Expences, take Degrees, return to their Fathers, who without ever troubling Law, or Gospel, maintain them afterwards at Home, like Gentlemen.

Do not many of our Nobility through Wantonness, and superfluity, reside constantly in another Kingdom, where, it is well known, they make a better Figure, as to Houses, Coaches, and Equipages, than their Neighbours? And do not our young Peers, and Gentry, who go thither to see the World, Game, Race, Drink, &c. beyond any in Great- Brittain, of the same Age, and Quality, which they could not Possibly do, if their Agents here had not an undrainable fund, to suply them? for as the Philosopher says, Nemo dat quod non habet. Or as the Jugler very Elegantly expresses it, Where nothing is, there nothing can come out.

If it be true, (I know it is confidently Reported) that a great Number of English Robbers are come over, that likewise is a very strong Argument of our Wealth; for they would never quit the English Streets, and Roads, for ours, unless they were sure to find an Advantage by the Change. It is most certain we never had such a Number of Robbers, as at this very juncture; from whence we may conclude, that they could not Possibly Multiply thus, if they did not find Houses, and People enough to Rob, for all Professions and Trades encrease, according to the Encouragement they meet with.

Are not whole Streets adding every Day to our Metropolis, when one would think it Large enough already? Some entire Streets and many Houses, I must confess, are waste, and unhabited. But does not this shew the Wealth and Wantonness of the Inhabitants, who not content with their present Dwellings, change them for others, more costly and expensive?

Do not great Numbers of our Inhabitants, daily go off to America? Will any Man say this can be done with empty Pockets? Can any Man think otherwise, but that it must be the effect of vast superfluity, when People wantonly take such long Voyages, and Journeys, to go where they have no business?

The last Argument I shall offer for the Wealth of this Kingdom, is the great Number of Beggars, in which it abounds; for it is a common Observation, that Riches are the parent of Idleness, Sloth, and Luxury, and are not these Naturally productive of Want and Beggary?

I could offer many more Arguments, but that I hope you and your Country Men, are sufficiently convinced, by what I have said, that Ireland is a place of great Wealth, affluence, and Plenty. Therefore let me advise you, the next time you put Pen to Paper, not to dress up Hibernia in Rags, and Dirt, but cloath her in Scarlet, and fine Linen; for she can very well afford them. Draw the God of Riches, hovering over your Island, shaking Ten Thousands of Golden Feathers from his Wings, much more than the Inhabitants can gather, and thus will your Country Men, who have retrenched upon your last groundless Alarm, return to their former Hospitality, and we shall see Halcyon, that is, Irish Days once more.

SIR, I Have perused your Arguments, and thus I Answer them. You were certainly fast asleep, and Writ them all in your Dream, nor do I in the least doubt, when you awake from your Golden Slumber, but you will find your self as much mistaken, as the Man in [AElig ]sop, who Dreamed the Devil shewed him a Treasure. I wish you may not Likewise, be in the same pickle, and prove a Gold-Finder, between your own Sheets.

Article XVIII

My Dear Country-Men,

IT has been the Custom of all wise Nations, not only to confer immediate honours upon their Benefactors, but likewise to distinguish their Birth-Days, by Anniversary rejoycings. This was a most generous Institution, to transmit those Heroes to posterity, who gloriously signalized themselves, in the Defence of their Country, that others, being Spirited up by their Example, might endeavour to deserve the same Encouragement. It is for this reason, that I recommend Saint Andrew's-Day unto you, to be Celebrated in a most Particular manner, being (as I am very well informed) the DRAPIER's Birth-Day. But before I shall make out the great Obligations, we have to him, I think it first necessary, to relate unto you a passage, untoucht upon before, by those who Writ against Wood's Half-pence, which I have read in an English Historian of great probity, and Truth.

His Name is Fines Morrison. He was Secretary of State to the Lord Monjoy, our chief Governour, in the Reign of Queen Elizabeth, and therefore had the best oportunity, of knowing the State of this Nation at that time. He tells you that the Queen, had received an Account of the Irish being up in Arms (though to speak the truth it was the English, rather; for the Giraldies, the Tools, the Cavanaghs, and the Byrns who were the Ring-leaders, were all of English Extraction.) She called a Council, where after several Schemes had been proposed, for reducing the Rebels, it was at last agreed upon, as the best expedient, to make a base Coin current among them; for this it was thought would quickly Subdue their stuborn Spirits, by introducing Poverty, the great humbler of Families and Nations.

Accordingly this expedient was set on Foot, and it had the intended Effect; for the Merchants, who generally Speaking, consider nothing but their own private advantage, imported vast Sums of this base Coin, every hundred Pounds of which stood them not in above Forty, for so they bought it from the Dutch, who thrust their cloven Foot into all affairs. This being discovered, the Rates of things were raised to Ten times their value, the middle Rank of People were all ruined by it, and the Poor, through this whole Kingdom, reduced to Famine, in so much, that all the publick Roads were strowed with Dead Carcases of miserable Wretches, whose Mouths were Green (as the Author expresses it) with their last meal of Grass.

He likewise gives a Relation, of a very horrible Fact; too horrible indeed to mention! That a poor Widow of Newry, having six small Children, and no food to support them, shut up her Doors, Died through despair, and in about three or four Days after, her Children were found Eating her Flesh. He says farther, That at the same time, a discovery being made of Twelve Women, who made a practice of stealing Children, to Eat them, they were all burned, by order of Sir Arthur Chichester, then Governour of the North of Ireland. He likewise tells us, that the poor Butchers, and other Trades-men, who could not afford to part with their goods, at such Rates as the Army would have them, were daily Dragooned by them. That the poor Soldiers were also ruined, for not being able to Buy their Cloathing here, they were obliged to be supplyed from England, at double Rates.

After many more Evils enumerated, the good Natured, and Compassionate Author, who all along deplores the miserable Condition of the poor Natives, tells us, their Case was Represented in such deplorable Circumstances, that the Queen quickly recalled her Grant, and put a stop to the base Coin. And he concludes one Paragraph thus (as well as I can remember.)

We her Majesty's Officers, who thought to make our Fortunes by our Employments, lost what we had, and we lost our Hearts therewith.

I have now finished my Melancholy extract, from whence I shall infer, that as like Causes ever have, and ever must produce like Effects, that Villainous Project of William Wood, might have intirely ruined this Kingdom, and have Converted it, into one large Poor House, had not the DRAPIER (whom I shall honour while I live) prevented that by his PEN, which perhaps Twenty thousand Swords, could not have done. Some very great Men, whose Names I am loath to Mention, were so Angry with the DRAPIER, for saving his Country, and disobliging their Friend William Wood, that they orderd a good Sum of Mony, as a reward to any one, who should discover which of the Town DRAPIER's, it was, that durst be so Impudent, and had it been found out, it is highly probable, they would have Seized all the Goods in his Shop, and have Imprisoned, and Pillored him into the Bargain, to make him an example to all PATRIOTS.

Consider then my dear Country Men, the hazard, which this Noble Spirited DRAPIER did run for your Sakes. How like the old Heroe Camillus, he flew in suddainly to our Rescue, when Wood's Half-pence were like the Brazen Bucklers, thrown into the opposite Scale, by our Enemies, to fill their Pockets more plentifully, with our Gold, and Silver. That he has done his best endeavour, to save us from Poverty and Slavery, and consequently has the strongest Title, to our Gratitude.

Let us not Act then, in a Christian Country, like the Barbarous Heathens, who frequently, when their greatest Deliverances were wrought, either Slighted, or banished, or Poisoned, or Murthered the Benefactors, or the Heroes, or reduced them to the Necessity, of Dying by their own Hands.

So fell the great Patriots Demosthenes, Cicero, Socrates, Phocion, Themistocles; And Dion of Syracuse, who was most inhumanly given up, to be Butchered by some Zacynthian Ruffians, after he had recovered the ungrateful Sicilians their freedom.

We ought likewise to consider, that we may possibly stand in need of a DRAPIER's Assistance another Time.

And it must be an uncommon strain of Virtue in any Man, to serve those People, who will not at least offer him their thanks, or own their Obligation to him.

What makes the Soldier, and Consecrates the Heroe, but Rewards, and Honours!

Let a Prince be ever so great a Soldier himself, if he fails in this single point, of giving Valour its due Encouragement, he will find his Soldiers but very slack in their Duty, and full as loose in their Loyalty.

It is even so in all other Professions; let Men pretend what they will, as to Conscience, and Duty, they are but Hypocrites, when they say, they Act with a View to these alone. Proper Encouragements have ever been expected, by the best of Men, and it is very just, they should have their due, as well as Cæsar.

I dare venture to engage for the DRAPIER, that he expects no more, for his great Services, but that Love, and Regard, that Respect and Esteem, which every Irish Man, who has any Virtue left, ought to have, for so great a Benefactor. I have my self, one way, or other, five hundred Pounds a Year, and I am certain, I make the Computation in my own Favour, when I say, that I owe him four hundred and fifty pounds per Annum. Let others in Proportion to their Fortune, make Use of the same Arithmetick, how much will the Nation owe him!

And can any one, after this, refuse a few Complements to his BIRTH-DAY, when Furze, and Candles, are so cheap, and considering that our Houses can never be better adorned, than by Illuminations, in respect to those, who enable us to keep them?

I wish, my dear Country-Men, I could cast a Veil over one piece of Ingratitude, which you have been Guilty of, to one of your Deliverers; I mean to the Great and Glorious King William, that for two Years past, you have laid aside his Anniversary-Dinner at the Tholsel, forgetting that he did not only, save us from Popery and Slavery, but did in a very Particular manner, Distinguish, and Reward the Gentlemen of this Kingdom, both of the Gown and the Sword, and made the People in general, so much his peculiar Care, that there was no complaining in our Streets.

I would not here be understood, to approve of that Bumper-Loyalty, of getting Drunk to the Memory of the Dead, but to have an Annual meeting, to shew a decent Respect for those, who have been our True Friends, and Benefactors, either Living, or Dead, and to exclude all others, who are not so, even from our flattery.

POSTSCRIPT. I do make it my Request, that the Widdow, the PRINTER of these Papers, who did likewise Print the DRAPIER's Letters, may be enabled by Charitable Encouragements to keep a merry Christmass; for She, and her Family, were ruined by Iniquitous Imprisonments, and hardships, for Printing those Papers, which were to the Advantage of this Kingdom in General.

Article XIX

I Am a Country Gentleman, and a Member of Parliament, with an Estate of about 1400 l. a Year, which as a Northern Landlord, I receive from above two Hundred Tenants, and my Lands having been Let, near twenty Years ago, the Rents, till very lately, were esteemed to be not above half Value; yet by the intolerable Scarcity of Silver, I lye under the greatest Difficulties in receiving them, as well as in paying my Labourers, or buying any thing necessary for my Family from Tradesmen, who are not able to be long out of their Money. But the sufferings of me, and those of my Rank, are Trifles in Comparison, of what the meaner sort undergo; such as the Buyers and Sellers, at Fairs, and Markets; The Shop-keepers in every Town, the Farmers in general. All those who Travel with Fish, Poultry, Pedlary-Ware, and other Conveniencies to sell: But more especially Handy-crafts-men, who Work for us by the Day, and common Labourers, whom I have already mentioned. Both these kinds of People, I am forced to employ, till their Wages amount to a Double Pistole, or a Moydore, (for we hardly have any Gold of lower Value left among us) to divide it among themselves as they can; and this is generally done at an Ale-house or Brandy shop; where, besides the cost of getting Drunk, (which is usually the Case) they must pay ten pence or a Shilling, for changing their Piece into Silver, to some Huckstering- fellow, who follows that Trade. But what is infinitely worse, those Poor Men for want of due Payment, are forced to take up their Oat-meal, and other Necessaries of Life, at almost double Value, and consequently are not able, to discharge half their score, especially under the scarceness of Corn, for two Years past, and the Melancholy disappointment of the present Crop.

The Causes of this, and a thousand other Evils, are clear and manifest to you and all other Thinking Men, though hidden from the Vulgar: These indeed complain of hard Times, the Dearth of Corn, the want of Money, the badness of Seasons; that their Goods bear no Price, and the poor cannot find Work; but their weak reasonings never carry them to the Hatred, and Contempt, born us by our Neighbours, and Brethren, without the least grounds of Provocation, who rejoice at our Sufferings, although sometimes to their own Disadvantage; of the dead Weight upon every beneficial Branch of our Trade; of half our Revenues sent annually to England, and many other Grievances peculiar to this unhappy Kingdom, excepted for our Sins, which keeps us from enjoying the common Benefits of Mankind, as you and some other Lovers of their Country, have so often observed, with such good Inclinations, and so little Effect.

It is true indeed, that under our Circumstances in general, this Complaint for the want of Silver, may appear as Ridiculous, as for a Man to be impatient, about a Cut Finger, when he is struck with the Plague, and yet a poor Fellow going to the Gallows, may be allow'd to feel the smart of Wasps, while he is upon Tyburn Road. This misfortune is too urging, and vexatious in every kind of small Traffick, and so hourly pressing upon all Persons in the Country whatsoever, that a hundred inconveniences, of perhaps greater Moment in themselves, have been timely submitted to, with far less disquietude and murmurs. And the Case seems yet the harder, if it be true, what many skilfull Men assert, that nothing is more easy, than a Remedy; and, that the Want of Silver, in proportion to the little Gold remaining among us, is altogether as unnecessary, as it is inconvenient. A Person of Distinction assured me very lately, that, in discoursing with the Lord Lieutenant, before his last Return to England, His Excellency said, He had pressed the matter often, in proper Time and Place, and to proper Persons; and could not see any difficulty of the least Moment, that could prevent us from being easy upon that Article.

Whoever carrys to England, twenty seven English Shillings, and brings back one Moydore, of full Weight, is a gainer of nine pence Irish; In a Guinea, the Advantage is three pence, and two pence in a Pistole. The BANKERS, who are generally Masters of all our Gold, and Silver, with this Advantage, have sent over as much of the latter, as came into their Hands. The Value of one thousand Moydores in Silver, would thus amount in clear profit, to 37 l. 10 s. The Shop-keepers, and other Traders, who go to London to buy Goods, followed the same Practice, by which we have been driven into this insupportable Distress.

To a common Thinker, it should seem, that nothing would be more easy, than for the Government to Redress this Evil, at any time they shall please. When the value of Guineas was lowred in England, from 21 s. 6 d. to only 21 s. the Consequences to this Kingdom, were obvious, and manifest to us all; and a sober Man, may be allowed at least to wonder, though he dare not complain, why a new Regulation of Coin among us, was not then made; much more, why it hath never been since. It would surely require no very profound skill in Algebra, to reduce the difference of nine Pence in thirty Shillings, or three Pence in a Guinea, to less than a Farthing; And so small a Fraction could be no Temptation, either to Bankers, to hazard their Silver at Sea, or Tradesmen to load themselves with it, in their Journeys to England. In my humble Opinion, it would be no unseasonable Condescension, if the Government would Graciously please, to signify to the poor loyal Protestant Subjects of Ireland, either that this miserable want of Silver, is not possible to be remedy'd in any degree, by the nicest skill in Arithmetick; or else, that it doth not stand with the good pleasure of England, to suffer any Silver at all among us. In the former Case, it would be madness, to expect Impossibilities: And in the other, we must submit: For, Lives, and Fortunes are, always at the Mercy of the CONQUEROR.

The Question hath been often put in printed Papers, by the DRAPIER, and others, or perhaps by the same WRITER, under different Styles, why this Kingdom should not be permitted to have a Mint of its own, for the Coinage of Gold, Silver, and Copper, which is a Power exercised by many Bishops, and every petty Prince in Germany. But this Question hath never been answered, nor the least Application that I have heard of, made to the Crown from hence, for the grant of a Publick Mint, although it stands upon Record, that several Cities, and Corporations here, had the Liberty of Coining Silver. I can see no Reasons, why we alone of all Nations, are thus restrained, but such as I dare not mention; only thus far, I may venture, that Ireland is the first Imperial Kingdom, since Nimrod, which ever wanted Power, to Coin their own Money.

I know very well, that in England it is lawful for any Subject, to Petition either the Prince, or the Parliament, provided it be done in a dutiful, and regular Manner; But what is lawful for a Subject of Ireland, I profess I cannot determine; nor will undertake, that your Printer shall not be prosecuted, in a Court of Justice, for publishing my Wishes, that a poor Shop-keeper might be able to change a Guinea, or a Moydore, when a Customer comes for a Crown's worth of Goods. I have known less Crimes punished with the utmost Severity, under the Title of Disaffection: And, I cannot but approve the Wisdom of the Antients, who, after Astrea had fled from the Earth, at least took care to provide three upright Judges for Hell. Men's Ears among us, are indeed grown so nice, that whoever happens to think out of Fashion, in what relates to the Welfare of this Kingdom, dare not so much as complain of the Tooth-ach, lest our weak and busy Dablers in politick should be ready to swear against him for Disaffection.

There was a Method practiced by Sir Ambrose Crawley, the great Dealer in Iron-works, which I wonder the Gentlemen of our Country, under this great Exigence, have not thought fit to imitate. In the several Towns, and Villages, where he dealt, and many Miles round, he gave Notes, instead of Money, from two Pence, to twenty Shillings, which passed currant in all Shops, and Markets, as well as in Houses, where Meat, or Drink was Sold. I see no Reason, why the like Practice, may not be introduced among us, with some degree of Success, or at least may not serve, as a poor Expedient, in this, our blessed age of Paper, which, as it Dischargeth all our greatest Payments, may be equally useful in the Smaller, and may just keep us alive, till an English Act of Parliament shall forbid it.

I have been told, that among some of our poorest American Colonies, upon the Continent, the People enjoy the Liberty of cutting the little Money among them into halves, and quarters, for the conveniences of small Traffick. How happy should we be in Comparison of our present Condition, if the like Priviledge, were granted to us, of employing the Sheers, for want of a Mint, upon our foreign Gold; by clipping it into half Crowns, and shillings, and even lower Denominations; For Beggars must be content to live upon scraps; And it would be our Felicity, that these scraps would never be exported to other Countries, while any thing better was left.

If neither of these Projects will avail, I see nothing left us, but to truck and barter our Goods, like the wild Indians, with each other, or with our too powerful Neighbours; only with this disadvantage on our side, that the Indians enjoy the Product of their own Land, whereas the better half of ours is sent away without so much as a recompence in Bugles, or Glass, in return.

It must needs be a very comfortable Circumstance, in the present juncture, that some thousand Families are gone, or going, or preparing to go, from hence, and settle themselves in America. The poorer Sort, for want of Work, the Farmers, whose beneficial Bargains are now become a Rack-rent, too hard to be born. And those who have any ready Money, or can purchase any, by the Sale of their Goods, or Leases; because they find their Fortunes hourly decaying; that their Goods will bear no Price, and that few or none, have any Money to buy the very necessaries of Life, are hastening to follow their departed Neighbours. It is true, Corn among us, carries a very high price; but it is for the same reason, that Rats, and Cats, and Dead Horses, have been often bought for Gold, in a Town besieged.

There is a Person of Quality in my Neighbourhood, who twenty Years ago, when he was just come to age, being unexperienced, and of a generous Temper, let his lands, even as times went then, at a low Rate, to able Tenants, and consequently by the rise of Land since that time, looked upon his Estate, to be set at half value. But Numbers of these Tenants, or their Descendants are now Offering to sell their Leases by Cant, even those which were for Lives, some of them renewable for ever, and some Fee-farms, which the Landlord himself, hath bought in, at half the Price they would have yielded seven Years ago. And some Leases Let at the same time, for Lives, have been given up to him, without any Consideration at all.

This is the most favourable face of things at present among us, I say, among us of the North, who are esteemed the onely thriving people of the Kingdom: And how far, and how soon, this Misery, and Desolation may spread, is easy to foresee.

The vast Sums of Money daily carryed off, by our numerous Adventurers to America, have deprived us of our Gold in these Parts, almost as much as of our Silver.

And the good Wives who come to our Houses, offer us their Pieces of Linnen, upon which their whole Dependence lyes, for so little profit, that it can neither half pay their Rents, nor half support their Families.

It is remarkable, that this Enthusiasm spread among our Northern People, of sheltring them selves in the Continent of America, hath no other foundation, than their present insupportable Condition at home. I have made all possible inquiries, to learn what Encouragement our People have met with, by any Intelligence from those Plantations, sufficient to make them undertake, so tedious, and hazardous a Voyage, in all seasons of the Year; and so ill accommodated in their Ships, that many of them have Dyed miserably in their Passage; But, could never get one satisfactory Answer. Some body, they know not who, had Written a Letter to his Friend, or Cousin, from thence, inviting him by all means, to come over; that it was a fine fruitfull Country, and to be held for ever, at a Penny an Acre. But the Truth of the Fact is this, The English established in those Colonies, are in great want of Men to inhabit that Tract of Ground, which lyes between them, and the Wild Indians, who are not reduced under their Dominion. We Read of some barbarous People, whom the Romans placed in their Armies, for no other service, than to blunt their Enemies Swords, and afterwards to fill up Trenches with their dead Bodies. And thus our People who Transport themselves, are settled in those interjacent Tracts, as a screen against the Insults of the Savages and may have as much Land, as they can clear from the Woods, at a very reasonable Rate, if they can afford to pay about a hundred years Purchase by their Labour. Now besides the Fox's reasons, which inclines all those, who have already ventured thither, to represent every thing, in a false light, as well for justifying their own Conduct, as for getting Companions, in their misery; so, the Governing People in those Plantations, have Wisely provided, that no Letters shall be suffered to pass from thence hither, without being first viewed by the Council, by which our People here, are wholly deceived in the Opinions, they have of the happy condition of their Friends, gone before them. This was accidentally discovered some months ago, by an honest Man who having transported himself, and family thither, and finding all things directly contrary to his hope, had the luck to convey a private Note, by a faithful hand, to his Relation here, entreating him, not to think of such a Voyage, and to discourage all his friends from attempting it. Yet this, although it be a Truth well known, hath produced very little effects; which is no manner of wonder; For as it is natural to a Man in a Fever to turn often, although without any hope of Ease, or when he is pursued to leap down a Precipice, to avoid an Enemy just at his back; so, Men in the extremest degree of Misery, and Want, will naturally fly to the first apperance of Relief, let it be ever so vain, or visionary.

You may observe, that I have very superficially touched the subject I began with, and with the utmost Caution: For I know how Criminal the least Complaint hath been thought, however seasonable or just, or honestly intended, which hath forced me to offer up my Daily Prayers, that it may never, at least in my time, be Interpreted by innuendo's as a false, scandalous, seditious, and disaffected action, for a Man to roar under an acute fit of the Gout, which beside the loss, and the danger, would be very inconvenient to one of my Age, so severely Afflicted with that Distemper.

I wish you good success, but I can promise you little, in an ungrateful Office you have taken up, without the least view, either to Reputation, or Profit. Perhaps your Comfort is, that none but Villians, and Betrayers of their Country, can be your Enemies. Upon which, I have little to say, having not the honour, to be acquainted with many of that sort, and therefore, as you easily may believe, am compelled to lead a very retired Life.

Article XX

HIS first rise in the Church was a small living in the Diocese of Cork, given him by the GOVERNMENT, to the Surprize of the whole World. This Living he swapped soon after for a Chaplain's Post to a Regiment, which he Sold for five Hundred Pounds. He turned his Hand with this Money, and in a very litle time, got a DEANERY, this he swapped likewise for another Living. After this again he got another DEANERY, by some unacountable methods, but being much in Debt, he was forced to fly his Country, and disposed of it, in what manner no Body can tell, but himself and another. He has left one living behind him, which he could not avoid doing, because it was sequestred for his Debts. When he went for England, in order to turn the Penny, he received Subscripsions from Numbers of Gentlemen, to carry on a Work, which would have taken ten Years to accomplish, if the most Ingenious and Learned Person had undertaken it, and which he himself could not have done in ten Thousand Years. After all this, he run off to Fort St. George, and left the following Character of himself. - FROM the Political State for the Month of February 1729 pag. 209. ABOUT the same time it was published (in the Dayly Post of February 13th) that a Mezzotinto is engraving from an Original Picture of Dean Smedley, with this remarkable Inscription, Written by Himself. REVERENDUS Decanus, Jonathan Smedley: Theologia instructus; in Poesi exercitatus; Politioribus excultus Literis: Parce Pius, Impius minime: Veritatis Indagator; Libertatis Assertor: Subsannatus multis; Fastiditus Quibusdam; Exoptatus plurimis; Omnibus Amicus; Author hujus Sententiæ,

PATRES SUNT VETUL[AElig ]. Domata Invidia; Superato Odio; per Laudem et Vituperium; per Famam atq; Infamiam: Utramque Fortunam, Variosq; expertus Casus; Mente Sana; Sano Corpore; Volens, Lætusq; Lustris plus quam XI numeratis; ad Rem Familiarem Restaurandam, augendamq; et ad Evangelium, Indos inter Orientales, prædicandum; Grevæ, Idibus Februarii, Navem ascendens, Arcemq; Sancti petens Georgii, Vernale per [AElig ]quinoxium; Anno [AElig ]ræ Christianæ, Millesimo Septingentesimo Vicesimo Octavo TRANSFRETAVIT.

--Fata vocant--Revocentq; precamur.

Thus translated.

ALL Gentlemen, who are any ways attacked by Dunces, are desired to send a formal Complaint to the Intelligencer, with the Names of the Delinquents, there shall be ample Satisfaction given, by Printing the Dunces Names at length, with Animadversions, suitable to their Crimes and Qualities. By which means, we shall in time be enabled to accomplish an Irish Dunciad, in imitation of that incomparable Duncepick Poem, Written and Published, by the most Ingenious Mr. Pope against the Grub- street Scriblers of Great-Brittain. The Intelligencer does likewise for the Ease of the Publick, give Warning to all Dunces, of what Rank soever, forthwith to lay aside their Crambo, or he does in a most solemn manner declare he will Couple them together in their own Rhymes. He does farther assure them, that if, after this his Proclamation, any Dunce within this Realm of Ireland, shall presume to touch Pen, Ink, or Paper, after the twentieth Day of this Instant, before which time it is to be presumed he may hear this Read, that then, ipso facto, he pronounces him an Out-law, and of Consequence every Man has a right to his Head. And for every such Head, brought in, the Reward shall be the current Price of a Sheep's Head, be the Rate ever so High.

Dated at our Chambers.

May, the 7th 1729.