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THE MOGUL TALE OR The Deſcent of the Balloon. A FARCE. AS IT IS ACTED AT THE THEATRE-ROYAL, SMOKE-ALLEY.

PRINTED FOR THE BOOKSELLERS.

M, DCC, LXXXVIII.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE.

[]
MEN.
  • THE MOGUL.
  • FIRST EUNUCH.
  • SECOND EUNUCH.
  • JOHNNY (THE COBLER.)
  • DOCTOR.
WOMEN.
  • FIRST LADY.
  • SECOND LADY.
  • THIRD LADY.
  • FANNY (THE COBLER'S WIFE)

THE MOGUL TALE; OR, THE DESCENT OF THE BALLOON.

[]

ACT I.

SCENE, The Gardens of the MOGUL, adjoining to the SERAGLIO.
Enter Firſt and Second LADIES.
Iſt LADY.

WHO do you think is the Emperor's favourite now: whilſt I continued his favourite myſelf, I had no occaſion to make any enquiry.

2d La.

You may be the Emperor's again: as to me, I ſhall never enjoy his favour—But here ſhe comes.

Enter 3d Lady.
3d La.

So, here you are muſing and plotting miſchief againſt me, becauſe the Sultan loves me; well, the woman who poſſeſſes his heart, is ſure to have every woman in the Seraglio againſt her: but there was a time when you was kind to me.

(to the Iſt Lady.)
Iſt La.

Yes my dear Sophie, when you was in diſtreſs: and I aſſure you, that if ever that time ſhould come again, we will be as kind again, and love you as well as ever.

3d La.

You think ſo—however our ſex are ſeldom kind to the woman that is ſo proſperous, their pity is [2]confined to thoſe that are forſaken—to be forſaken and ugly, are the greateſt diſtreſſes a woman can have.

[Exit.
Iſt La.

Let her go, a good for nothing happy creature, however by ſome accident ſhe is the favourite now, perhaps ſome of us may become favourites ſoon—ſiſter—what's that—

(looking at the upper entrance)

I tremble all over.

2d La.

I am afraid it is a great ravenous bird, coming to devour us, is it a fowl? Perhaps it is the chariot of ſome of the gods of the Gentoos.

Iſt La.

Oh, no it cannot be a bird, it has no wings—perhaps this is our Prophet Mahomet coming to earth again, and this is his chariot—It is—they are gods, I ſee their heads.

(Balloon deſcends)

Let us not be afraid if they bear the ſhape of men (as gods they ſay moſtly do) let us face them.

2d La.

Oh dear heart!—Stay—I never ſaw a god in all my life, and yet if they come in the ſhape of men, why I don't think I ſhould be ſo much afraid of them neither.

[Exit.
Enter Johnny, Fanny and Doctor.
John.

O! dear! O! dear!—The devil take all balloons I ſay—what a curſed confounded journey we have had of it—Fan, come out—where the devil are we after all—In Scotland, Denmark or Ireland, or Norway, or Limbo, it is deviliſh hot

(fans himſelf with his hat)

why Fan, where are yon Fan!

Fan.

I'm here Johnny—Oh! Lord! I am ſo glad to ſet my foot on chriſtian ground again.

John.

Chriſtian ground you fool! why we're in Limbo—it muſt be Limbo, or Greenland. Doctor what ſay you, it is Greenland, is it not?—

Doc.

Why man Greenland is cold, quite reverſe of this climate; this is either eaſt, weſt or ſouth, but which I cannot tell. I am ſure it is not north, by the heat, other concluſions I draw from other cauſes; I know we are a thouſand miles from our native land, from the ſwiftneſs of our machines motion, and the [3]length of time we have been in it; another concluſion is, that not knowing the paths we have come, we know not where we are—I know only that we are in a cloſe walk of trees with houſes at a diſtance; we may be amongſt people, who pay no regard to genius, ſcience, or invention, but may put us all to death, taking us for three witches that ride in the air.

Fan.

Oh! Lord! put us all to death!—is all our fine ride in the air come to this—Oh, Lord! O Lord.

John.

Ay Fan, and how the people clapp'd and huzza'd, when they ſaw us mount in the air!—They little thought they ſhould not ſee us again, Gad that was the reaſon may be that they ſeem'd ſo glad—for my part I was ſo pleas'd with my journey, I was almoſt out of my wits for joy; I did not think that we ſhould have no more than a couple of hours ride. I thought we ſhould have been picked up in Eſſex, Darby, or Kent, or Middleſex or thereabouts, but the devil a bit! the Doctor with all his magic could not ſtop it when it was ſet a-going.

Doc.

I own I am ſhock'd at our adventure.

John.

Well here we are after all—but where, the Lord only knows.

Doc.

Do you appear lighter—I am much more heavy than in my natural element.

John.

Ay Doctor, like a fiſh out of water.

Doc.

I do not ſpeak to you of elements.

John.

I am ſure doctor I wiſh you hadn't brought us out of our element.

Doc.

Your ſoul and body are compoſed of one element, and that is earth, and your wiſe is all water.

Fan.

Ay Doctor, with now and then a ſpark of fire.

John.

Damme Doctor, you are all air, and yet you have not enough of it to take as back again neither.

Doc.

I may be able to fill that machine again.

John.

I wiſh you would fill our bellies in the meantime, upon my ſoul I am half ſtarved.

Doc.

The pure air we breath'd while ſo many degrees above the earth, ſupplied every want.

John.
[4]

No, not it Doctor, you know you eat heartily of the ham and chickens, and drank more of the wine than Fan and I.

Fan.

That he did.

Doc.

That was only by way of experiment, I had no wants I aſſure you.

Fan.

Lord Doctor—No wants!

Doc.

None there.

Fan.

Why yes, you had, you know you wanted to kiſs me when you thought Johnny was aſleep.

John.

Zounds ſtand back, yonder is a fine lady coming.

[Doctor leaning againſt a wing.
Enter Iſt Lady.
Iſt La.

Are you Gods?

Fan.

She ſpeaks to us.

Iſt La.

Then, you are gods.

John.

Gods ma'am! no, we are three poor devils.

Iſt La.

Devils! avaunt.

Fan.

Don't go to ſend us back again, we have had enongh of it I aſſure you.

Iſt La.

Be ye gods or devils, in theſe ſhades you muſt not remain a moment.

John.

Why where the devil are we?

Iſt La.

In the dominions of the Great Mogul.

Fan.

The Great Mogol!

John.

The Great Mogul! Oh, oh, oh.

Doc.

Oh, ho, ho, ho.

Iſt La.

In the Seraglio of his favourite concubines, where no mortal but himſelf dare approach in human ſhape, except our wretched ſex, and Eunuchs who are our guards.

John.

Eunuchs! Lord madam they are of no ſex at all—we have often heard madam of the Great Mogul. Why Lord he can't be jealous of me, and as to the Doctor there he is nobody—it is all over with him, he has no longer any inflammible air about him, either in his balloon or himſelf, its all gone, is'nt it Doctor?

Fan.
[5]

I am very faint, I am ſure it is near a month ſince we left Hyde Park corner.

Iſt La.

Hyde Park corner!

Fan.

Yes, juſt by the turnpike going to Knight's brid [...].

John.

And after ſailing a month like a poor ſchool boy's kite, we are thrown into the jaws of that damn'd cutthroat dog the Great Mogul.

Iſt La.

What do you ſay?

John.

I did'n't mean your Mogul, madam.

Iſt La.

You muſt take care what you ſay, you are my fellow creatures, and you are brought here by this ſtrange Machine—take care the Mogul Eunuchs are conſtantly on the watch, the time draws night, when they will enter this dwelling: be prepared to give an account of yourſelves, who, and what you are, and ſubſtantial excuſes for your being found here, or you aſſuredly die in miſery.

John.

Doctor! why damme Doctor, what's the matter with you—you are ſhip'd Doctor, damme I ſay what's the matter with you—Contrive ſomething to ſay to the Great Mogul.

Doc.

I cannot contrive any thing.

Fan.

You contriv'd the Balloon and be hang'd to you, and you contriv'd to get us here, now contrive to take us back again.

Doc.

At preſent I cannot, all my inflammible air is gone.

John.

I told you ſo—its all over with him, and with us too I fear.

Fan.

Oh, dear Johnny, what will become of us, what will become of us?

John.

Come, don't cry Fan, we ſhall ſee our children again, never fear.

Iſt La.

As to that female, ſhe has nothing to apprehend for herſelf, ſhe will be ſaved from death, and moſt likely exalted to the embraces of the Great Mogul.

Fan.

I had rather not madam, if its all the ſame to you.

Iſt La.
[6]

I only ſpeak of what is probable, but prepare an excuſe, I muſt call here the Eunuch and inform him of what has happen'd, or we ſhall be greatly ſuſpected, and puniſhed with you.

John.

Pray madam, are theſe Eunuchs a good ſort of gentlemen?

Iſt La.

They are ſevere, but they do but their duty—They obey their maſter, who meant them to be ſevere—if poſſible make them your friends, by all means.

[Exit Iſt Lady.
John.

Doctor, what ſhall we do? what the devil ſhall we do?

Doc.

I ſhall fare the worſt, the Mogul will conſider me as ſome important perſonage, ſome capital conſpirator perhaps, and I have no doubt, but he will arreſt me and flee me alive.

John.

And I have no doubt but he'll arreſt me too.

Fan.

Ay, he will eat us all alive, you won'd come Johnny.

John.

And you would come Fanny.

Fan.

That was becauſe you ſhould not come alone Johnny.

John.

Zounds ſtand back—there's a damn'd black fellow coming—I'll ſay I am a woman in men's cloaths.

Fan.

Oh! no don't Johnny, who knows but the Great Mogul will fall in love with you.

Enter Iſt Eunuch.
Iſt Eu.

What are you, that float in air—you muſt appear before the Great Mogul, to anſwer with your lives for this audacity. Who was that being that brought you here?

John.

He—that being there—the Docctor.

Doc.

Muſt the woman go too.

Iſt Eu.

Yes.

John.

O ſir, we'll follow you.

(Exit Eu.)

Damn it Doctor, this comes of your haram ſcaram things.

[Exeunt.
[7] SCENE Changes to Gardens.
Enter MOGUL.
Mo.

Admirable! incomparable, moſt excellent! in a retreat of the gardens I ſaw the wretches fall—overheard their converſation. We were amazed at the miraculous manner of their arrival, but ſuch acts I knew had been lately diſcovered in Europe—I am reſolv'd to have ſome diverſion with them.

(Enter Iſt Eunuch.)

Where are thoſe Europeans.

Iſt Eu.

My Leige, the ſlaves, the ſailors of the air wait your pleaſure.

Mo.

What are there ſituations on this new occaſion.

Iſt Eu.

Horror and dread.

Mo.

Aggravate their fears, as much as poſſible, tell them, I am the abſtract of cruelty, the eſſence of tyrranny; tell them the Divan ſhall open with all its terrors. For tho' I mean to ſave their lives, I want to ſee the effect of their fears, for in the hour of reflection I love to contemplate that greateſt work of heaven, the mind of man.

[Exit.
Iſt Eu.

Happy for thoſe adventurers is the ſerene temper of the Mogul—My friends

(to the other Eunuchs)

loſe no time to put the commands of our maſter into immediate execution—here they come, retire my friends.

[Reſt of Eunuchs Exeunt.
Enter Johnny, Fanny and Doctor.
Iſt Eu.

Unhappy man I pity you, I was once in Europe, and treated kindly there!—I wiſh in gratitude I could do any thing to ſerve you—but the Mogul is bloody minded, and cruel, and at preſent inexorable.

Doc.

Then is our ſituation deſperate.

Fan.

It's all over with us.

John.

Ay, 'tis all dicky with us.—Hark'e ſir, you have been in Europe.

Fan.

Pray Mr Blacky was you ever in England?

Iſt Eu.

Yes I was, I love the country.

John.
[8]

Then you [...]ſt love [...] Engliſhman—only help us out of this hobble [...] what, I'll do any thing to ſerve you, [...] vot [...] for candidate and whatever you plea [...] [...]

Iſt Eu.

The Mogul is only to be wrought [...] by his fears, now if you can alarm him with the danger of taking your lives.

John.

How the devil can we alarm him, ſurrounded as he is with thouſands, and we are but three of us.

Iſt Eu.

He will be in the Divan immediately, be firm and bold before him—ſeem to know yourſelves of conſequence—ſeem to have no fear, and that will alarm him.

Fan.

Sir we are very much obliged to you.

John.

Thank you my dear Blacky, a thouſand times.

[Drums and Trumpets ſound.
Iſt Eu.

The Divan is opening—now mark and practice all I ſay, and put forth all your fortitude.

SCENE, Draws and diſcovers the MOGUL on his Throne; SLAVES and LUNUCHS attending.
Mo.

Let thoſe who refuſed the preſents I demanded, be impaled, the Nabob who refuſed his favourite wife, be burnt alive—and let the Female who broke my favourite diſh, and thereby ſpoiled my dinner, be torn to pieces.

Doc.

Horror abſorbs my faculties.

John.

Oh Lord! Oh Lord! what ſhall we do?

Mo.

Where are thoſe bold audacious ones, theſe Europeans?

Iſt Eu.

Moſt gracious ſovereign, behold the man on whom your anger is raiſed, and for whom your racks are preparing, comes Ambaſſador from England, which he likewiſe inhabits, to aſk of you his way to the Perſian dominions, where he's to meet ſome legions of warriors. Inhabitants of a new machine invented for the uſe of man, called, called—what is it called?

(Aſide to Doctor) (Johnny aſide to Eunuch)

called a Balloon—The King his maſter is now within two day's journey of [9]your mighty realm, in his way to the Perſian dominions, which he means ſhall feel the force of his vaſt power, for injuries received, but will not ſtop here to refreſh himſelf, and his mighty army on the right of your kingdom, without your permiſſion, which he ſolicits by this his noble Ambaſſador.

Mo.

Why was not this explained on his firſt arrival?

Iſt Eu.

An accident happening to the machine in which he was conveyed, it unfortunately fell into a place forbidden; fear of your diſpleaſure forbade him to announce himſelf.

Mo.

Who is this king that thus addreſſes me as his equal—Take down the roll and read it, that the Ambaſſador may know who, and what I am.

Iſt Eu. (Takes down a rod and reads)

"Know this moſt glorious menarch, before whom you now ſtand, is Emperor of all India—The Great Mogul—Brother of the Sun and Moon—of the Right Giver of all earthly Crowns—Commander of all creatures from the ſea of Cremona, to the Gulph of Perlia—Emperor of all Eſtates, and Lord of all the Region on the conſines of Aſia—Lord of all the coaſt of Africa—Lord of Ethiopia, Grand Sultan of all the beautiful females of Circaſſia, Barbary, Media, and both the Tartaries—Prince of the river Ganges, Zanthur, and Euphrates—Sultan of ſeventeen kingdoms—King of eight thouſand Iſlands, and huſband of one thouſand wives."

Mo.

Doſt thou hear Ambaſſador, thou who art leſs acquainted with the rays of royalty, to whom we have permitted our titles to be read in our preſence; now look on your credentials, and tell us who is this king your maſter.

Doc. (Aſide to Eunuch)

What ſhall I do for credentials?

Iſt Eu.

Look on the roll, ſeem to read it with firmneſs.

[Aſide to Doctor.
Doc. (takes the Roll and reads.)

"The King his maſter, is by the Grace of God, King of Great Britain, France, Ireland, Scotland, Northumberland, Lincolnſhire, [10]Sheſſield, and Birmingham; giver of all Green, Blue, Red, and pale Blue Ribbons, Sovereign of the moſt noble Order of St Patrick—Grand maſter of every Maſon Lodge in Chriſtendom, Prince of the River Thames, Trent, Severn, Tyne, New-River, Fleet-Ditch, and the Tweed: Sovereign Lord, and maſter of many loyal ſubjects, huſband of one good wife, and father of eighteen fine children.

Mo.

Then who art thou ſlave, that dare come into our preſence.

Iſt Eu.

He is no ſlave, know my moſt Royal maſter, this is his highneſs the Pope of Rome.

John. (Aſide the devil I am)

Yes, and pleaſe your highneſs, I am the Pope, at your ſervice.

Mo.

A great Pontiff indeed—Is that the faſhion of his robe?

Iſt Eu.

His travelling dreſs only.

John.

My Air Balloon Jacket, pleaſe your honour.

Mo.

I want no enumeration of his dignity, I have heard it all.

John.

Yes, yes, all the world have heard of the devil and the Pope.

Mo.

Cruel and rapacious. The actions of his predeceſſors will never be forgotten by the deſcendant of Mahomet. I rejoice I have him in my power—his life will but ill repay thoſe crimes with which this monſter formerly peſtered the plains of Palentina.

Fan.

Oh Lord, tell him he's a Cobbler at once and don't tell him any more lies.

[Aſide to the Eunuch.
Mo.

They have aſſaulted my Seraglio and the Greek Pontiffs are forbid the uſe of women—The Engliſh ambaſſador is under no ſuch reſtriction, how can I forgive it.—

Doc.

Mere accident brought me here great Sir, I have no paſſion for women, as his holineſs will witneſs.

Mo.

Who is that female?

John.

She does not belong to me, ſhe is a nun, and pleaſe your highneſs, taken from a convent in Italy, and [11]was guilty of ſome crime, not to be forgiven, but by ſevere pennance, enjoined to accompany us.

Mo.

In our country dreſs ſhe would have charms!—What ſay you ſweet one? Give her another dreſs, and take her into the Seraglio—let the other two ſtay here one day for reſt, then let them depart.

John.

You Lordſhip will pleaſe to let Fan go too.

Fan.

Oh Johnny—you would my Johnny.

Mo.

Johnny!

John.

Yes, and pleaſe your holineſs—I am Pope Johnny the twelfth.

Fan.

What will become of our children.

Mo.

Children!

John.

Yes, yes children, that was what ſhe was baniſhed for.

Mo.

If tenderneſs will not drive her, puniſhment ſhall, perſuade her to go.

Iſt Eu.

Oh, you are yet undone.

[Aſide.
John.

Pleaſe your Mogulſhip, I will talk to her in private—perhaps I may perſuade her to comply with your princely deſires, for we Popes have never any converſation with women except in private.

Mo.

Guards, keep at a diſtance, but do not loſe fight of them—For one day, reſt in our court as friends, then you ambaſſador, and his highneſs may depart hence, and report my magnificence.

[Exit.
John.

Oh, Fanny, Fanny, Fan, Fan—

Fan.

Oh Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, will you leave me here in a ſtrange land, amongſt tygers, land monſters, and ſea monſters.

John.

Oh Fan, Fan, if we were at Wapping again, mending of ſhoes, in our little two pair of ſtairs room backwards—with the bed juſt turn'd up in one corner of the room.

Fan.

My Johnny and I ſitting ſo comfortable together at breakfaſt, where we had pawn'd your waiſtcoat to get one, with one child crying on my knee, and one on yours; my poor old mother ſhaking with the ague, in one corner of the room—the many happy [12]mornings Johnny that we have got up together ſhaking with the cold—No balloon to vex us.

John.

Ay, and the many times after threſhing you well Fan, when we made it up again.

Fan.

Yes, yes, the happy making it up Johnny, we ſhall never have that pleaſure again.

John.

Oh, Doctor, you have none of this to lament, you never knew what theſe pleaſures were.

Doc.

I wiſh I was in my old climate again, its fouleſt air.

John.

Fan only ſeem to comply with the Mogul at preſent—and put on your fine dreſs, and I'll try if I can get you away—and if not Fan, I wiſh I may never ſole a pair of ſhoes again, if I don't ſtay with you, rather than leave you here—Oh Doctor—Doctor! this comes of your fine Air Balloon, Oh Lord, Oh Lord, we ſhall be put to death in the end.

[Exeunt.

ACT II.

SCENE, A Front Apartment in the Seraglio.
Enter MOGUL and EUNUCH with a letter.
MOGUL.

EXCELLENT! the intercepting this curious epiſtle, promiſes me a new ſource of entertainment, read it Omar, every thing proceeds as I could wiſh.

Iſt Eu. (Reads the letter.)

"I have been able to procure ſome inflammible air, and hope ſoon to be able to ſee you in Wapping—don't waſte your time in the Seraglio, but come, and help me to repair the Balloon. Contrive if you can to bring one of the females with you, as I want to try an experiment, which can live longeſt in the air, the women of this country, or our own——N. B. Let her have black eyes, neither too large or too ſmall, leſt my experiment ſhould fail."

Mo.
[13]

A moſt noble ſtratagem! this is a conſpiracy in our government, let a ſtrong guard inſtantly ſeize this Doctor Ambaſſador and drag him immediately to the place of execution, this requires attention. Let this Cobler holineſs already half drown'd in liquor, be ſupplied with the richeſt of my wines, and then in the high tide of his joys tempted with the fineſt of my women—then alſo let him be convey'd to the place of execution, and let the woman array'd in oriental ſplendour be made to accompany him thither—there will I appear to watch the motion of the culprits, and then diſmiſs them to their own country, in a manner worthy the doctrines of our great Prophet, and not unſuitable to my own honour and dignity.

SCENE Changes to the Seraglio Garden.
Enter JOHNNY Drunk.
John.

Lippery wine! Lippery wine! never will drink anything but lippery wine.

(ſings)

They ſay they don't drink wine in this country—damme 'tis no ſuch matter for brandy does all the ſame, though I don't think 'twas brandy neither—But it was deviliſh good, it has made me quite happy; I wiſh it does not make me fall in love preſently, for I am deviliſh apt to fall in love when I am drunk—theſe ſeems to be a parcel of pretty girls, pretty tipperty winches

(ſeveral Ladies croſſes)

there they go, ſo pretty, and ſo plenty, zounds maſter Mogul, you have a fine time of it here

(3d Lady croſſes)

Here, hark'e my dear.

(3d Lady returns)
3d La.

Did you call me ſir?

John.

Ay, my love, any body would call you—do you know that you are a ſweet ſoul!

3d La.

Sweet ſoul!

John.

Yes a ſweet ſoul.

3d La.

Why our religion tells us we have no ſouls.

John.

Does it, why then of what uſe is your religion! but if you have no ſoul, damme, but you have a pretty body, a very pretty body, that I do aſſure you, [14]and I am a ſweet ſoul, and what is a body good for, without a ſoul.

3d La.

Have your countrymen ſouls?

John.

They have a damn'd deal of ſpirit.

3d La.

What's that?

John.

Why I was going to tell you my ſweet creature—

[Kneels; ſhe exit.
Enter Iſt Eunuch.
Iſt Eu.

His holineſs upon his knees, and to a woman too.

John.

O yes ſir! Though I am a Pope, I am not infallible.

Iſt Eu.

Why this is ſtrictly forbidden in your religion.

John.

Why ſo it is: and you are ſtrictly forbidden to drink wine—and yet you know you damn'd black dog, you are always drinking, when you think nobody ſees you, but this is Jubilee—all holiday at Peckham—Here ſirrah, fetch back that lady, madam no ſoul, do it. I cannot do without her.

Iſt Eu.

Though I cannot recal the fair fugitive, I can do what you will like as well, take this handkerchief—It is the Mogul's.

John.

Damn his handkerchief.

Iſt Eu.

Caſt this at the foot of any woman you pleaſe, and ſhe muſt accompliſh all your deſire.

John.

Muſt ſhe! damn me give me my old Miggy's handkerchief! and you'll ſee what work I'll make—but there ſhe goes.

[Exit.
Enter ſeveral Ladies, with Iſt, 2d and 3d Ladies.
Iſt La.

Here ſhe comes, and looks very pretty, ſhe will be the favourite very ſoon, but let us plague her, and that will make her look ugly.

2d La.

A woman never looks well, when ſhe is not in temper,

(They all retire up the ſtage.)
[15] Enter Fanny dreſſed.
Fan.

What are pleaſures when thoſe that one loves does not partake them with one; Ah my dear Johnny, the ſky that appears ſo clear, the ſun that ſhines ſo ſweet, and the wind that blows ſuch rich perfumes do but increaſe my ſorrow, whilſt my dear Johnny is not with me.

Ladies come forward.
Iſt La.

You was ſent here for penance madam, I heard.

Fan.

Ay and ſevere penance it was—I loſt every thing on earth that I love by it.

Iſt La.

But what do you ſay to your fine dreſs?

Fan.

It is nothing at all to me, I ſhall faſt and pray.

Iſt La.

What ſhould you faſt for, you may pray indeed for the good graces of the Mogul.

Fan.

I am ſure I ſhould rather be a poor Cobler's wife—(O Lord what have I ſaid

(Aſide)

I mean I had rather be doing penance again with the Pope, or a dozen Popes, rather than be married to one Mogul.

Iſt La.

O I dare ſay you had. But men are not ſo plenty here, they are not to be found by dozens I aſſure you.

2d La.

No my dear Engliſh lady—I have been told in your country, every woman had a lover a piece, but here we have but one between us three and ninety ſeven of us.

Fan.

And pray ladies have you ſeen any thing of the Pope lately, or is he gone away.

3d La.

He was here juſt now, and making love to me.

(aſide)

I'll make her jealous.

Fan.

No he didn't make love to you, and if he did, I'm ſure he was tipſy, for though I ſay it, that ſhould not ſay it, he is never ſo loving as when he is tipſy.

Enter Johnny.
John.

Damme! here they are all here, at my ſervice—you are a ſett of pretty creatures upon my ſoul—madam [16]you are a damn'd fine girl, and ſo are you—and you too my little no ſoul. But that pretty little moppet

(looking at Fanny)

ſuits my fancy the moſt; here I fix (and not like an old muſty weathercock, till the wind changes about, but here I fix)

(throws down the handkerchief at Fan who takes it up)

come and kiſs me.

Fan.

That I will with all my heart and ſoul my dear Johnny.

John.

What the devil! my own Fan—why who the devil would have thought of ſeeing you here, dizzen'd out in that fine gown, with a ſack round your waiſt—and a long petticoat trailing on the ground—and a turbot on your head, why what's become of your ſtraw hat and linen gown.

Iſt La.

She is altered in that garb to pleaſe the great Mogul.

John.

No no, that will not do, madam no ſoul, none of your tricks upon travellers, in the air eſpecially, no, no, Fan pleaſes none but me I aſſure you.

Fan.

But do I pleaſe you Johnny.

John.

Do you! yes that's what you do, why one mor [...]el of Britiſh beauty, is worth a whole cargo of outlandiſh frippery.

Enter Iſt Eunuch.
Iſt Eu.

Great Sir, if you are at liberty I come to offer you ſome amuſement if you will walk to the gate of the Seraglio, you may ſee the execution of ſome criminals—Every thing is ready on the platform.

John.

Great Blackamoor I come—You will go ladies, you ſhall go too Fan—But who the devil are they, what have they done?

Iſt Eu.

I cannot tell, theſe executions happen ſo frequently, that we have no curioſity to learn. Your highneſs may enquire from themſelves.

Enter another Eunuch with a paper and ſeal on it.
2d Eu.

In the name of the moſt mighty the Mogul, [17]I arreſt this man, and bring him to the place of execution.

John.

We are going there friend—Come along Fan.

2d Eu.

This woman muſt be ſecured by us.

John.

Not ſhe blacky, ſhe belongs to me.

2d Eu.

Belongs to you!

John.

Yes blacky, belongs to me—damme ſhe is my property.

2d Eu.

I have the authority of the Great Mogul to take her before his preſence, there's his ſignet.

John.

And I have the authority of the Great Mogul to keep her, damme there's his handkerchief—I throw it there

(throws it at Fan's feet.)

and now touch her you damn'd black dog, if you dare; as to that great [...]eal, you know you black thief, you never had it from the Mogul—You have been breaking open his beureau and ſtole it.

2d Eu.

Though he gave it me himſelf, I cannot diſobey the holder of the handkerchief—Come with me.

John.

Why damme—we are going—you are hindering us, come along Fan—come along with me.

2d Eu.

No ſhe muſt come along with us—

(offers to lay hold of her.)
John. (Prevents him.)

You are not to lay violent hands upon her, for look'ye maſter blacky, if you was in a certain corner of the world called Old England, you would know you dog you—that if the firſt. Prince of the Blood was to attempt the wife of a poor Cobler, againſt her will and good liking—He had better take up the whole iſland by main force, and daſh it into the ſea again.

[Exit Eunuch, Fanny and Johnny following Ladies Exeunt.
SCENE Draws and diſcovers the MOGUL on his Throne.
The Apparatus for Execution ready, Executioners and Guards attending—Doctor diſcovered by the wheel handcuffed, &c.
Mo.

Are the Eunuchs returned with the priſoners?

3d Eu.
[18]

We expect them every minute.

Mo.

Is his wife with them?

3d Eu.

She is, my ſovereign.

Mo.

Maintain their fears, and place them with his mock excellency before the tribunal.

[Exit Mogul.
Enter Johnay, Fan and Eunuch.
John.

Come along Fan—Come along Fan—Where is the ambaſſador?

2d Eu.

I'll place you next to him.

John.

Sir I am very much oblig'd to you, my Doctor, what's the matter, you groan.

Doc.

They are going to try ſome experiment on me, to broil me—to implame, perhaps to anatomize me.

John.

Let me go.

2d Eu.

You muſt not go.

John.

I'd rather not ſtay.

Fan.

Oh dear Johany, what's the matter! do not burn Johany.

Enter Mogul, goes and ſits on his Throne.
Mo.

Where are theſe wretched culprits doom'd to receive their ſentence?

2d Eu.

They are here waiting your highneſs's pleaſure.

Mo.

Are all the racks ready, the chaldrons of boiling oil—The cages of hot iron, and the trampling elephants.

John.

O Lord! O Lord!

2d Eu.

The water oils and the grid irons are ready.

Mo.

Will theſe impoſtors confeſs, who and what they are, if they hope any mitigation;—Who art thou, thou pretended ambaſſador, whoſe letter I intercepted, wherein you confeſs yourſelf an impoſtor, and wiſh to raviſh from my arms one of my moſt beautiful females.

Doc.

I am a Doctor—I am a Doctor of muſic unlverſally known, and acknowledged—maſter of legerdemain, adept in philoſophy, giver of bealth, prolonger of life, child of the ſun, interpreter of ſta [...], and p [...]y councellor to the moon.

Mo.
[19]

What brought you here?

Doc.

A Balloon.

Mo.

What is a Ballon?

Doc.

It is a Machine of French invention, founded on Engliſh Philoſophy, an experiment by air—lighter than air—a method of Navigation in the Clouds with winds, wanting only another diſcovery, ſtill in Nubibus, and for want of that diſcovery, brought us here, great [...]it, againſt our will, without any intention to ſeduce away any of the females of the Seraglio.

John.

Lord, the Doctor would not hurt a hair of their heads.

Mo.

And who art thou that would have impoſed yourſelf upon me for a venerable Pontiff.

John.

Lord your honour, I was only joking with you, I'll be judged [...] Lady, if I look like a [...].—I am ſure the good man himſelf would excuſe me for taking his name, ſo long as I did not make free with his character—I am quite ſober now I aſſure you.

Mo.

And you are no Pope.

John.

Pope! the devil a Pope am I—I am no more Pope Johnny, than my wife is Pope Joan—

Mo.

What art thou?

John.

Who me! I'm a poor innoc [...]t Cobler [...] coyed by the Doctor here, from Wapping, for five guineas.

Fan.

And he's as good a father, and as good a huſband, and as good a Cobler as any in London.

John.

A Cobler! why damme I'll ſoal a pair of ſhoes with any man in your country.

Mo.

Now prepare to die.

Fan.

With all my heart, rather than part with my dear Johnny, if Johnny would die, what ſhould—

Mo.

Keep ſilence while I pronounce jndgment—Tremble for your approaching doom. You are not now before the tribunal of a European, a man of your own colour. I am an Indian, a Mahometan, my laws are cruel and my nature ſavage—You have impoſed upon me, and attempted to defraud me, but know that I have [20]been taught mercy and compaſſion for the ſufferings of human nature; however differing in laws, temper and colour from myſelf. Yes from you Chriſtians whoſe laws teach charity to all the world, have I learn'd theſe virtues? For your countrymen's cruelty to the poor Gentoos has ſhewn me tyranny in ſo foul a light, that I was determined henceforth to be only mild, juſt and merciful.—You have done wrong, but you are ſtrangers, you are deſtitute—You are too much in my power to treat you with ſeverity—all three may freely depart.

John. (Runs to take the Mogul's hand.)

The lord bleſs you ſir: thank you.

Mo.

You have my leave, and I have given inſtructions to my meſſengers, to [...] native land.

Doc.

Oh! thank heaven.

John.

Well then thank heaven, I ſhall ſee dear Wapping again.

Enter 2d Eunoch.
2d Eu.

Every thing is ready for your departure.

Fan.

Sir, we are very much obliged to you, and pleaſe give my compliments to the Great Mogul, and tell him I am very much obliged to him for not killing my huſband.

Joan.

And I am very much obliged to him for not raviſhing my wife.

Doc.

And preſent my compliments to him, and let him know that I will explain the generoſity of his conduct in a Mogul Tale, that I intend to publiſh, giving an account of our adventures in our grand Air Balloon.

FINIS.
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Citation Suggestion for this Object
TextGrid Repository (2020). TEI. 5024 The mogul tale or the descent of the balloon A farce As it is acted at the Theatre Royal Smoke Alley. University of Oxford Text Archive. . https://hdl.handle.net/21.T11991/0000-001A-57D7-0