[]

LOVE'S FRAILTIES: A COMEDY IN FIVE ACTS, AS PERFORMED AT THE THEATRE ROYAL, COVENT-GARDEN.

BY THOMAS HOLCROFT.

LONDON: PRINTED FOR SHEPPERSON AND REYNOLDS, NO. 137, OXFORD STREET.

1794.

ADVERTISEMENT.

[]

THOSE paſſages that are printed in Italics (not including the French) were omitted on the firſt repreſentation, one excepted, page 66, of which the words that then gave offence are diſtinguiſhed by capitals. They are thus pointed out that the reader, who in the heat of political zeal has not quite loſt his underſtanding, may examine what there is in them injurious to truth, or the good of mankind, and find it, if he can. In different times and under different feelings, it will appear aſtoniſhing that any one of theſe paſſages were ſuppreſſed, from any apprehenſion of political reſentment: but ſuch was the fact. That the one unwarily retained ſhould excite the anger which was teſtified is ſtill more aſtoniſhing. A ſentence ſo true as to have been repeated in a thouſand different modes: for all ſtrong moral truths are ſubject to ſuch repetition. A ſentence that, under a variety of forms and phraſeology, is proverbial in all nations. It ought however to be remembered, that the perſons offended, though violent, were few. Their intention doubtleſs was good: the ſame cannot be affirmed of their intellect.

Thoſe who are acquainted with German literature, and who have read the drama entitled, Der Deutſche Hauſvater, by the Baron von Gemmingen, will immediately perceive that the author has availed himſelf of various incidents and thoughts in that piece; though his fable, characters, and denouement are exceedingly different. Others, who wiſh to ſatisfy their curioſity but who cannot read German, may find a French tranſlation of that piece in volume VI. of a work entitled Nouveau Theatre Allemand, by M. M. Friedel and de Bonneville.

[iv]

THE reaſons which have occaſioned the alteration of price in the preſent comedy ought to be ſtated to the public. The previous knowledge of men and manners, and the extraordinary efforts of ſtudy, time, and talents, which are neceſſary to produce a play that has but a chance of being ſanctioned by the town, are ſufficiently obvious. The labourer is worthy of his hire. In the beginning of the preſent century, the price of an octavo play was eighteen pence. Since that period, the price of paper has been doubled; the expence of printing is advanced in nearly the ſame ratio; and advertiſing, which now amounts to a conſiderable ſum, was then a burthen unknown. It has long been the complaint of the trade that the purchaſe of the copy-right, added to the above coſts, occaſioned plays to be a dangerous ſpeculation. The new tax on paper, in addition to all theſe, has made it impoſſible, at the former price, to reward authors, and afford the bookſeller a reaſonable hope of profit. Theſe conſiderations have induced an advance of price, at which it is preſumed no juſt reaſoner will take offence.

PROLOGUE.

[]
"PROLOGUES have long been plac'd, like little a,
"Before that great noun ſubſtantive a play:"
Not form'd of winged words, but wanting wings,
"Of common gender, half-no-meaning things:
"Like rag-fair robes, made up, with little ſkill,
"To ſuit farce, tragedy, or what you will:
"Mere taſteleſs bread-crumbs, only fit for ſtuffing:"
A cringing crew, and vilely prone to puffing:
Beggars, well ſatisfied, at any rate,
To feed on offals at the public gate:
"Or running footmen," ſent with whoop and hollo,
Types of the vapid things that are to follow:
Grace before meat, which, while the dinner cools,
Is twang'd by knaves, and liſten'd to by fools.
But let us take, nor waſte our little wit,
A ſingle theme, that may our purpoſe fit.
"Prologues are ſcouts, that ſkulk from poſt to poſt,
"And ſcour the field, to watch the adverſe hoſt.
"Heroes invincible! Left! Right! Front! Rear!
"Embattl'd ranks! ye thrill the ſoul with fear!"
Wadded with critic ſpleen
(Pit)
and prim'd with ire,
Charg'd to the muzzle, ready to give fire,
To ſlaughter ſome inclin'd, and ſome to ſleep,
"Lo ruthleſs veterans rang'd, intrench'd chin deep!
"Flanking this fearful centre in a ring,
(Boxes)
"Gay knights and Amazons form either wing!
[vi] "Corps of reſerve
(Gallery)
drawn up in dread array,
"On yonder heights await the coming fray!"
But as you're ſtrong be juſt, in this fierce battle,
Ye godlike men of might, and maids of mettle!
Here let us pauſe: for, ah! 'tis but too true,
Caſſandra like, in black prophetic view,
I ſee the maſſacres that may enſue!
Wit, humour, character, are put to rout!
The prompter breathleſs, and the actors out!
Quibbles and clap-traps in confuſion run!
Slain is a ſentiment! Down drops a pun!
Nay plot himſelf, that leader far renown'd,
Oh ſhame! dare ſcarcely ſtand another round!
"How ſhall our general dare ſuch danger meet?
"Were it not better, think you, ſirs, to treat?
"War honours grant then, as he files away;
"So may he live and fight another day."

[For the ſubject of this Prologue, and the lines marked with inverted commas, the author is indebted to a literary friend.]

EPILOGUE.

[]
AS ſome poor wand'rer, who with eager flight
Is homeward hurried by the approach of night,
Comes to the deep abyſs, o'er which is thrown
Trunk of old oak or wedge of unhewn ſtone,
Tremendous bridge! which he muſt venture o'er,
Braving the horrid gulph and cataract roar,
Slippery! abrupt! no hold, no ſtay, no truſt!
The firſt falſe ſtep is death! Yet croſs he muſt,
Safely on t'other ſide looks ſhivering back,
And palpitating views the dreadful track,
So ſtands the happy bard, from danger free,
And trembles at his own temerity!
Bold is the man, or little prone to fear,
Who hopes to write what's fit for you to hear;
Conſcious what ſplendid feaſts regale this ſtage,
Prepar'd by other bards, born of another age!
Oh Congreve! Otway! Shakeſpear! mighty ſhades!
Whoſe genius every realm of thought pervades,
Gifts ſuch as yours, alas! where ſhall we find?
Words that with living pictures fill the mind!
Extatic imagery! thoughts divine!
And volumes utter'd in a ſingle line!
But ah! of them and of their heav'nly lays
Fools to remind you, by preſumptuous praiſe!
Dropt be the ſacred veil we've raſhly dar'd to raiſe.
What can be done? Were will like wiſhing free,
Various and rich ſhould each freſh banquet be:
Emralds and pearls diſſolv'd in liquid gold,
Had we the alchymy, were yours tenfold!
[viii] Like thoſe poor Arabs who in deſerts live,
The little that we have we freely give.
Finding what may but chance to pleaſe your taſte,
We ſerve the morſel up with eager haſte:
Happy in this, you know our good intent,
And take in honeſt part what honeſtly is meant.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE.

  • Sir Gregory Oldwort Mr. QUICK.
  • Charles Seymour Mr. HOLMAN.
  • Mr. Muſcadel Mr. LEWIS.
  • Mr. Craig Campbell Mr. MUNDEN.
  • James Mr. FARLEY.
  • Footmen.
  • Lady Fancourt Mrs. POPE.
  • Paulina Mrs. ESTEN.
  • Lady Louiſa Compton Mrs. FAWCETT.
  • Nannette Mrs. MATTOCKS.
  • Mrs. Wilkins Mrs. PLATT.
  • Julette Miſs LESERVE.

LOVE'S FRAILTIES: A COMEDY.

[]

ACT I.

SCENE I. The Houſe of Sir GREGORY OLDWORT.

SEYMOUR, Lady LOUISA.
Seym.

I WILL not hear you, Louiſa. In love yourſelf with a man deſtitute of rank and fortune, ought you to ſchool me?

Lady L.

A man of family, brother, though not of rank.

Seym.

Pennyleſs: a lieutenant in a marching regiment.

Lady L.

But poſſeſſed of honour, worth, and virtue.

Seym.

And who has more honour worth and virtue than my Paulina?

Lady L.

A painter's daughter, Charles.

Seym.

A divinity! Her beauty angelic, her mind godlike!

Lady L.

Thus we lovers rave. The world contains but one!

Seym.

Where is there another Paulina? Encumbered by the abſurdities of folly, diſguiſed by the [2] ridiculous trappings of faſhion, where ſhall the ſincere, the ſimple, the affectionate heart be found? I enter the tumultuous aſſemblies of the idle and all is vanity, all affectation, all incoherency. This hubbub of incongruous and deſpicable paſſions but maddens my mind: and, by the contraſt, irradiates the abode of peace and Paulina.

Lady L.

Ah, Charles, you forget our dependent ſituation; our family.

Seym.

Our fools and tyrants. An elder brother, whoſe rank wealth and power, inſtead of affording us protection, have been made the paſſports of folly and vice; and an uncle, whoſe benevolence is ſelf love; who has given us ſhelter only to make us ſlaves; at once a cynic and a ſenſualiſt; ſevere to others, indulgent to himſelf; arbitrary in principle, libidinous in practice.

Lady L.

Alas, too true! Sir Gregory pardons nobody's faults but his own.

Seym.

Did he not ſuffer his ſiſter to languiſh and die in penury in a foreign land? And what was her crime? Marriage, with a man of a noble mind; but who had the misfortune to be poor and unprotected.

Lady L.

'Tis that makes me ſhudder! ‘The very ſame fate is impending over our heads.’

Seym.

‘Let it fall; at leaſt on me. Injuſtice to myſelf ſhall not make me unjuſt to others.’

Lady L.

‘Ay, but there's the queſtion. Your poor painter's daughter may, conſidering the indigence in which ſhe has been bred, be the phoenix you think her; but can you Charles honeſtly aver ſhe is the equal of Lady Fancourt?’

Seym.

‘Her ſuperiour.’

Lady L.

‘Not to dwell on rank fortune [3] fame and power, which ſhe ſo eminently poſſeſſes and which ſurely are ſomething—’

Seym.

‘Bawbles! The gewgaws of fools!’

Lady L.

Is the mind of Paulina equally cultivated; equally penetrating ſtrong and towering?

Seym.

More! More!

Lady L.

Ah, Charles!

Seym.

By heavens, more!

Lady L.

Lady Fancourt is a woman of ten thouſand!

Seym.

I grant it.

Lady L.

She has conceived a partiality for you; Sir Gregory has diſcovered it, and is determined on the match.

Seym.

And I am determined it ſhall never take place.

Lady L.

For my ſake, think again.

Seym.

At your requeſt, I have already been torturing Paulina and myſelf: I have not ſeen her for a week; an excruciating eternal week. ‘But I will be guilty of this cruel injuſtice no longer.’

Lady L.

‘Remember your own principles, Charles, remember truth. We muſt not with the avarice of egotiſm live for ſelf, but for ſociety. You have duties to mankind, for the fulfilling of which you ought not to be diſabled by the indulgence of paſſion.’

Seym.

‘I own it; and the doubts of what theſe duties are, haunt and perturb my mind inceſſantly, render me undecided, cauſe me every hour to form a thouſand contradictory plans, and, inſtead of making me active and firm, murder reſolution and torment me into reſtleſs ſuſpence.’

Lady L.

‘Opinion is the ſlave of error, the [4] world is the ſlave of opinion, and we are the ſlaves of the world.’

Seym.

'Tis your ſituation, Louiſa, that rivets my ſhackles, which elſe I would break, and brave the world's injuſtice and an uncle's tyranny. But I know your affection for Mr. Compton, I am ſenſible of his worth, and I cannot dare not abandon you to the wretchedneſs I foreſee, ſhould I diſobey Sir Gregory.

Lady L.
(In tears)

Charles!—Your kindneſs is killing: I can endure any thing but that.

Seym.

And why?

Lady L.

I do not deſerve it.

Seym.

What do you mean?

Lady L.

I have deceived you.

Seym.

Which way?

Lady L.

For this fortnight my heart has been burſting with a ſecret, which my tongue has not dared to utter.

Seym.

Heavens!—I gueſs—I forebode—You are married?

Lady L.

I am.

Seym.

Why then 'tis paſt—You have got the ſtart of me—I have heſitated, you have reſolved; and Paulina, the affectionate pure hearted noble minded Paulina muſt be ſacrificed, or poverty perſecution contempt and miſery muſt be the fate of all.

Lady L.

I am a ſelfiſh wretch, and deſerve the worſt that can befall me.

Seym.

No no—Where is your huſband?

Lady L.
(Looking round)

For heaven's ſake, beware.

Seym.

Well well, where is Mr. Compton?

Lady L.

On duty with his regiment in Yorkſhire, to which he was ſuddenly ordered, and as I ſuſpect by the management of Sir Gregory—

Seym.
[5]

Who not only threatens but acts.

Lady L.

He has written to me concerning Mr. Compton, and with ſuch ſeverity! He has quite killed the little hope I had.

Seym.

I expect his arrival from the country every minute. Diſperſe your gloom: be chearful.

Lady L.

A ſmiling face with an aching heart is a painful taſk—

Seym.

But now more than ever neceſſary. His preaching and his practice are ſo oppoſite that he dreads detection and hates ridicule. You have the art to keep him in ſome awe.

Lady L.

I had, but want the courage now to practice it.

Seym.

Nay nay, but you muſt—Oh, Paulina!

Sir Greg.
(Without)

Why, William! James!

Lady L.

Here he comes!

Sir Greg.

Where are you all?

SCENE II. Enter Sir GREGORY OLDWORT.

Lady L.
(Aſſuming chearfulneſs)

You are welcome home, Sir Gregory.

Sir Greg.

So you ſay.

Seym.

I hope you have had a pleaſant journey ſir.

Sir Greg.
(To a footman)

Take this coat. Duſt enough! The roads are as crowded as the ſtreets; and have no leſs hurry, noiſe and inſolence.

Lady L.

A mob is always unmannerly.

Sir Greg.

And the whole world is become a mob. Ah, what different beings were our brave anceſtors, the bold barons!

Lady L.

Ay, uncle! How delightful it is to contemplate their venerable figures, in old Gothic cathedrals!

Sir Greg.
[6]

Kneeling in marble, with their huge helmets, long ſwords, alabaſter ruffs, grim beards, and gruff faces; that ſeem to bid you keep your diſtance, or damme! they will riſe and knock you down, as ſoon as they have done praying.

Lady L.

And yet, ſomehow, a little modiſh politeneſs, and delicacy—

Sir Greg.

I hate the words! They are outlandiſh, contraband, and were imported in ſome damned cargo of fans, muffs, fringed nightcaps, and chicken gloves.

Lady L.

I own it would be diverting to ſee a modern petit-maitre in a coat of mail!

Sir Greg.

Zounds! He would melt under it like a man of ſnow before the ſun! A coat of mail? A coat of pink tiffany! A degenerate—Ah!—I have not patience! A robuſt hearty fellow, that ſpeaks what he thinks, eats when he is hungry, and fights when he is angry, is called barbarian! horrid brute! And the ſight of ſuch a phenomenon would infallibly throw a whole aſſembly, men, women, and fiddlers, into hyſterics.

Lady L.
(Aſide to Charles obſerving him in a reverie)

Charles!—Where are your thoughts?

Seym.

Where they ought never to be; yet there they always are!

Sir Greg.

No, no; the diſeaſe has attacked the vitals! The blood of our nobles is contaminated. All rank, all order, all diſtinction is loſt! Dukes and jockeys, earls and hop-dealers, peers and pickpockets, all mingle, indiſcriminately, and hold their nightly orgies at a hazard table!

Lady L.

Calculation, uncle, is the wiſdom of the age.

Sir Greg.

Yes, he is moſt learned who beſt knows the odds; and he moſt renowned, who [7] fleeces his fellows with the greateſt adroitneſs!—Have you ſeen Lady Fancourt today?

(To Charles)
Seym.

'Tis too early, ſir.

Sir Greg.

Yeſterday?

Seym.

No, ſir.

Sir Greg.

No, ſir! Had not you my commands, ſir?

Seym.

I had.

Sir Greg.

And how came they to be diſobeyed?

Seym.

Becauſe commanding is leſs difficult than obedience.

Sir Greg.
(With ſeverity)

Sir, if ever you expect any favour or countenance from me, go, this very day, and tomorrow, and every day, and aſſiduouſly pay your court to that lady. I'll hear no anſwer.

[Exit Seymour.

SCENE III. Sir GREGORY, Lady LOUISA.

Lady L.

I declare, uncle, you are ſo ſevere, you frighten one!

Sir Greg.
(Sternly)

Have you received my letter?

Lady L.

Ay, that too was ſevere enough!

Sir Greg.

Madam—!

Lady L.

Mr. Compton is a gentleman.

Sir Greg.

Without rank, connexions, or eſtate.

Lady L.

His heart and underſtanding—

Sir Greg.
(With great determination and ſeverity)

If I hear another word concerning him, you ſhall quit this houſe and my protection for ever!

Lady L.
(After a ſtruggle reſuming her temper)

Well; we all have our failings!

Sir Greg.

I would have you both beware!

Lady L.

My brother and I are young; we have ſome excuſe.

Sir Greg.
[8]

Becauſe, being young and fooliſh, you neglect the advice, and diſobey the commands, of the experienced and wiſe.

Lady L.

Why, if the experienced and wiſe are as—

Sir Greg.

As what?—What do you mean?

Lady L.

Nay, don't be alarmed, uncle!

Sir Greg.

I!—Alarmed?

Lady L.

I have heard—

Sir Greg.

What have you heard?

SCENE IV. Enter Footman and Mr. MUSCADEL.

Foot.

Mr. Muſcadel.

[Exit.
Lady L.

That the experienced and the wiſe have their frolicks!

Sir Greg.
(Aſide to Lady Louiſa)

Huſh!

Muſc.

Nothing more certain, Lady Louiſa. Sir Gregory himſelf is a proof in point.

Sir Greg.

I, ſir?

Muſc.

Or you are horribly belied.

Sir Greg.

Sir!

Muſc.

I have heard the moſt whimſical ſtories—!

Sir Greg.

I inſiſt—! Such calumny, ſir—

Muſc.

That you ſteal out by twilight, and, if you ſee a cap and apron in the ſquare, you hobble after with a—Hem! Hiſt! Pretty maid! Where are you going? Where do you live? Don't be in ſuch a hurry!

Sir Greg.

I! I!

Muſc.

That you buy ſilk purſes by the dozen, and put five new half guineas into each, and that, for want of better converſation, you aſk every girl you can come up with if ſhe is a good ſempſtreſs, for you have always plenty of needle-work.

Sir Greg.

I! I needle-work!

Muſc.
[9]

You.

Sir Greg.

I talk to young girls!

Muſc.

Nay that you have been ſeen to attempt to kiſs them under your own lamps.

Sir Greg.

Was ever ſuch malignity? I—!

Muſc.

And that you preſs them by the hand, pat their cheeks, tweak their chins, and fondle them, as Lady Mary Muzzy does her fat lapdog.

Sir Greg.

Mercy on me!

Muſc.

That you carry ſilk handkerchiefs, too, and ribbands, and oranges.

Sir Greg.
(With great anxiety and half whiſpering)

Here's ſomebody coming!

SCENE V. Re-enter SEYMOUR.

Seym.

I forgot to aſk, have you any further commands for me, ſir?

Sir Greg.

No, ſir. Begone!

Muſc.

No, no; ſtay, Charles!—And that you—

Sir Greg.

Begone, ſir!

Muſc.

That you—

Sir Greg.

Begone, I ſay!

[Exit Seymour.

SCENE VI. Sir GREGORY, Lady LOUISA, and Mr. MUSCADEL.

Sir Greg.
(Aſide)

I'll never forgive him while I have breath!

Muſc.

Ha, ha, ha! What vexed, baronet?

Sir Greg.

Such malice, ſir, is inſufferable.

Muſc.

Well, be good humoured and I'll ſpare you.

Sir Greg.
(Aſide)

As a butcher does a ſheep.

Muſc.

Afraid Charles ſhould hear? You muſt commit him to me, Sir Gregory. He has ſpirit and fire, though rather ruſticated; but my inſtructions, and a little polite varniſh, will ſoon diſplay [10] thoſe bold tints and original touches, which a bad light and a college education have obſcured.

Sir Greg.

He has already profited by your leſſons, ſir.

Muſc.

Yes, Lady Fancourt, herſelf, made the ſame remark but yeſterday.

Lady L.

Charles is become a favourite with her ladyſhip.

Muſc.

Is he?

Lady L.

Nay, don't be jealous.

Muſc.

Jealous? Ha, ha, ha! That is excellent! I jealous! Am I not an adept in all the delightful follies of faſhion? Do I not lead the mode, and make thoſe dear whims which are ridiculous in others graceful and captivating in me? Am I not in debt to all the town, in love with all the women, envied by all the men, ſtared at by the world, laughed at by the little, imitated by the great, hated by the awkward, and hooted by the mob? Have I not ruined fifty tradeſmen and five Jews? Nay, have I not been ruined myſelf theſe three years, and do I not live in as high a ſtyle as ever? Ha, ha, ha! I jealous! If I cannot pretend to a lady's favours, who can?

Lady L.

Well, well; if you are certain you are not jealous—

Muſc.

Oh very certain—But, now, tell me, ſeriouſly, Lady Louiſa—Do you think Charles is—a favourite?

Lady L.

With Lady Fancourt?

Muſc.

Yes.

Lady L.

Nay, Mr. Muſcadel, I appeal to your own penetration. You are a man of wit and diſcernment.

Muſc.

Why—I own—Ha, ha, ha! What fooliſh thing, now, am I going to own?

Sir Greg.

A thouſand—

Muſc.
[11]

Sir?

Sir Greg.

You may own; and have a thouſand to ſpare.

Muſc.

No—No—I, of all others, I am the—the man of her heart.

Lady L.

I doubt it.

Muſc.

Seriouſly?

Lady L.

Seriouſly.

Muſc.

No—No—'Tis impoſſible—Let us forget it.

Lady L.

Do; if you can.

Muſc.

Can? Ha, ha, ha! That is very good! Hay, Sir Gregory?

Sir Greg.

Ay, ay; vapour away. Your character is pretty well underſtood.

Muſc.

So much the better. People of merit loſe nothing by being known. Day-light or dark, a diamond will ſparkle.

Lady L.

And you, Mr. Muſcadel, always ſhine. Like a lamp-reflector, you abſolutely blaze us blind.

Muſc.

Sitting or ſtanding, riding or walking, I do every thing with a grace. See me take out my handkerchief, put on my gloves, pick up a fan, preſent a bouquet, dangle in my chair, loll in my chariot; the moſt trifling actions are made intereſting by my manner. Nay, I even ſleep like a gentleman.

Sir Greg.

‘I think, Mr. Muſcadel, it is now ſix years ſince you came to your eſtate?’

Muſc.

‘You are right. It was a great epocha! My father died in the morning, I was in full poſſeſſion before noon, in the evening I had an aſſignation with a beautiful woman, was caught by the huſband in her bedchamber, appointed to exchange a ſhot with him at five the next morning, loſt half my fortune at White's in [12] the interim, met my man, lodged a bullet in his body, ſent an atteſted account of the affair to the papers, took poſt for Dover, and enjoyed a hearty ſupper, my bottle of Burgundy, a French chanſon d'amour, and a ſound ſleep, the next night at Calais.’

Sir Greg.

‘While your father and the man you had wronged lay ſtretched on their bier!’

Muſc.

‘Um—No: as it happened, the gentleman mended, in ſpite of me and the doctors: the news was ſent me, we became the beſt of friends, and in ſix weeks I had the pleaſure to wiſh him joy of his recovery.’

Sir Greg.

‘After ſeducing his wife, and—’

Muſc.

‘Was it my fault that ſhe was handſome, and I irreſiſtible?’

Sir Greg.

Ha! You may well be a favourite with the ladies!

Muſc.

Oh, yes: I can't help it. No more can they. I have a ſmile for one, a nod for another, a wink for a third, a hem and a how do you do for a fourth, and ſhe who gets a ſqueeze of the hand from me thinks herſelf in heaven!

Lady L.

And you really have no fear of a rival, with Lady Fancourt?

Muſc.

A rival? Ha, ha, ha! Rival?—Charles is gallant—Her ladyſhip is polite—but—Oh, no ſhe is too fond of me.

Sir Greg.

Indeed!

Muſc.

Paſt doubt.

Lady L.

How do you know?

Muſc.

She told me ſo.

Lady L.

What, herſelf?

Muſc.

Herſelf.

Sir Greg.

With her own lips?

Muſc.

Lips? Ha, ha, ha! No; the lips often deceive; the eyes never.

Lady L.
[13]

Be not too confident; there are coquettes in the world.

Muſc.

I know it; I am one. How do you like me, Sir Gregory?

Sir Greg.

Not at all.

Muſc.

Ha, ha, ha! No?

Sir Greg.

You are a modern man of faſhion; a beau, whoſe characteriſtic it is to babble; though you know little of what you ſay, and leſs of what you mean.

Muſc.

And you are a bully, of the old ſchool: a kind of walking machine, to grind down beef.

Sir Greg.
(Aſide)

Baboon!

Muſc.

You are an old bachelor, too; and have been all your life preaching continence, and practicing—

Sir Greg.
(Suddenly)

Sir, I muſt beg you will not, any more, make free with my moral character.

Lady L.

Fie, Mr. Muſcadel! There is nothing of which Sir Gregory is ſo chary as his moral character.

Sir Greg.

Niece—!

Muſc.

Egad, it is very true: a fair character, like a fair ſkin, if cloſely inſpected, has a thouſand irregularities.

Lady L.
(Significantly)

Ay, like the purple bloom on a freſh gathered plum, it muſt be admired, not touched: if you handle it, you deſtroy its beauty—Don't you, uncle?

Muſc.

Your character and mine, baronet, are certainly very oppoſite.

Sir Greg.

Or I would hang myſelf! You pretend to wit; but, like bookſellers, you deal in what you don't underſtand.

Muſc.

Ha, ha, ha! You are an eight day clock, wound up once a week; a fixed ſtar, that every fool knows where to find; an evergreen, always of [14] one colour: a pariſh clerk, whoſe whole vocabulary begins and ends in amen. I am a camelion; an Engliſh April-day; a comet, that always appears in a blaze, is the talk of the town, the terror of married men, and the admiration of the whole world! While everybody is enquiring whence it comes, how long it ſtays, where it goes, and when it returns?

Lady L.

You affect ſingularity, Mr. Muſcadel.

Muſc.

No: it is natural to me. We men of faſhion are always leading the canaille into abſurdities, purpoſely to laugh at them. We are a kind of Will with a wiſp; we glitter and entice the gazer into a bog, and there leave him.

Lady L.

Come, come; I muſt begone, to dreſs.

Sir Greg.

Ah! you are rare animals!

Muſc.

Meteors, Sir Gregory; which you terreſtrials may gaze at, but cannot reach: a kind of rainbow, the ſplendor of which everybody admires, but nobody can equal.

[Exeunt.
END OF THE FIRST ACT.

ACT II.

[15]

SCENE I. The Painting Room of Mr. CRAIG.

Pictures every where diſperſed, ſome hanging, ſome ſtanding on the ground. The furniture mean: Mr. Craig painting; Paulina at work, and ſinging.
SONG.
I.
I ONCE had a bird of my own!
It flutter'd and caroll'd right merrily;
I look'd, and I found it had flown:
Gone from me, ah woe, and ah weladay!
II.
"Poor warbler, while yet thou wert mine,
"I fed, and I kiſs'd, and I fondled thee;
"I never once knew thee to pine:
"Then why haſt thou left me: ah weladay?
III.
"I heard thy ſweet ſong with delight;
"Thy boundings and frolics gave joy to me;
"Nor wert thou confin'd in thy flight:
"Then why haſt thou left me: ah weladay?
IV.
"Now, rover, thy fate is to mourn:
"And I who ſo often have cheriſh'd thee,
"I too am deſponding, forlorn:
"Then why haſt thou left me: ah weladay?"
V.
This bird is the type, thou fond heart,
Of wand'ring which now is thy deſtiny.
Why wert thou ſo prone to depart;
Say why haſt thou left me, ah weladay?
Craig.
[16]

Thanks, thanks, my Paulina! My palette in my hand, and thee ſinging beſide me, imagination glows, my ſoul expands, and my colours melt and mingle into life. My canvas talks to me.

Pau.

My heart beats whenever I ſee you happy.

Craig.

Ah could I but forget—Painting is a noble art! To practice it as an amateur would be my delight: but for ſale?—For hire?—I muſt not think of it!

Pau.

Oh no; do not.

Craig.

Every reſource exhauſted, doomed for years to work like a mechanic, receive pay—!

Pau.

But where, ſir, is the diſgrace?

Craig.

What? A man of family!

Pau.

A man of virtue, ſir. What is family?

Craig.

Thou muſt never marry, Paulina! No fellow of vulgar ſoul, with ſentiments as groſs as his occupation, and feelings as rude as his features, ſhall ever have thee.

Pau.

But, if—?

Craig.

There is no if. I am degraded. Thy beauty and underſtanding might tempt a monarch: but I'm a painter! A hireling! A gentleman would contemn me, would expect me to fawn. I'll periſh firſt! Ay, and, dearly as I love thee, thou ſhalt periſh too!

SCENE II. Enter NANNETTE

(With a baſket with bread, &c.)
Nan.

Hah! Vat, I hear you ſing? Vat I hear you be merry, mitout morſel for bread to eat?

Pau.

Nay, Nannette—

(examining her baſket.)
Craig.

Ay, ay; we'll ſing—like ſwans dying.

Pau.
[17]
(Taking his hand)

Pray do not afflict yourſelf.

Craig.

Oh, no: I am merry. Ha, ha, ha!

Nan.

Dere! Dere be littel loaf for you, and littel loaf for you.

Pau.

And for yourſelf?

Nan.

N'importe meeſelf; I don't a vant; I don't a care.

Craig.

Woman! When did you ſee me eat and you faſt?

Nan.

Eh bien! You don't a be ſo croſs, und I eat mit you den.

Craig.

Ay, ay; we'll ſhare. Hay, Paulina?

Pan.

To the laſt morſel.

Craig.

Why that's my own girl.

Pau.

Shall we repine?

Craig.

Not at—? Well, well; we won't.

Pau.

There is not a ſhower that falls but it feeds thouſands, yet there is not a ſhower that falls at which thouſands do not murmur. Shall we be ſo unjuſt?

Craig.

Paulina! I think thou art—ſomething divine!—Give me my palette, Nannette—Though fate girn at us, we can be merry; ay, and ſing, and—

(Sits down to painting)

Courage! Courage! We have hearts that can endure.

Pau.

And hands that can labour.

Craig.
(Indignant)

I had forgotten. We are plebeians.

Nan.

Dee vomans vill not no more truſt.

Craig.
(Starting up)

There's no ſupporting it!—Dunned by a ſmall ware pedlar in penny loaves! Refuſed credit for a few ſhillings! The ſon of Craig Campbell!

Pau.
(Soothing)

A few ſhillings to this poor woman may be ruin.

Craig.

Very true—

(Snatching up his bruſh)

Tell [18] her, I will paint her a picture ſhall make the fortune of her whole family! Tell her, I have the art to transform two yards ſquare of canvas to the worth of a province.

Nan.

Mon dieu! I'll not a tell ſuch lie.

Craig.

Courage, Paulina.

Pau.

Fear nothing, ſir.

Nan.

Vhen I am yong, in Straſbourg, me huſband vas paint; but he vas no fool, he vas no paint canevas, he vas paint houſe, door, und ſign poſt.

Craig.

Sign poſts?—I?—Inſolent idea! Woman! My name is Craig Campbell.

Nan.

You ſay you not tell your name, more as Craig; und you bawl ſo loud mit all dee vorld to hear.

Craig.

When I am angry I care not who hears—Well, be it Craig: I would not have the name of Campbell diſhonoured.

(Paints)

There's a tint! Look, Paulina. There's an effect! Ha, ha, ha! Sign poſts!

Nan.

Dee landlady ſhwear, und tear, und play dee diable for dee rent.

Craig.
(Working with great eagerneſs)

She ſhall have it.

Nan.

Comment?

Craig.

She ſhall have it.

Nan.

You leave Italy, you come back mit your own country, you ave dee grand relationſhip, und—

Craig.

Nannette!—Don't make me mad. Talk of any thing but my grand relations. I am a man, an independent, honeſt, honourable man; and have forſworn grandeur. It once ſpurned at me—And why? Becauſe I was poor—I now ſpurn at it!

Pau.

Fie, Nannette. Forget it, dear ſir.

Craig.

At a word. 'Tis gone. But we'll be free, Paulina, ſhall we not?

Pau.

Oh, yes.

Craig.
[19]

Why then, ſmile world or frown, we can live, can forgive thy injuſtice, and rejoice at thy proſperity.

Pau.

Oh, my noble father!

Craig.

Ay, girl, as the nobleſt. They may clothe me in rags, feed me on offals, load me with fetters; but there is that here, which contemns their injuſtice, and defies their perſecution.

Nan.

Allons! Va! It is paſt a mit twelve o'clock.

Craig.

True. The lord to whom I ſent a pair of pictures has appointed to ſee me. I muſt go. Yet why? I ſhall gain no admittance. Not at home, is the everlaſting anſwer. The inſolent porter will ſcarcely open the gate wide enough for my hand to enter. But I am poor, and muſt wait, and come again, and again, and take affronts patiently. So it is. The lord within, ſits in ſtate, reveling, banqueting, and tantalizing the palled appetite; while the wretch without, repulſed, inſulted, and refuſed his due, is perhaps periſhing with hunger!

[Exit.

SCENE III. PAULINA, NANNETTE.

Nan.

Eh bien; he has a not been here yet.

Pau.

Who? My Seymour; my Charles?

Nan.

Mais, oui.

Pau.

Alas, no—For ſeven long inexplicable days he has been abſent!

Nan.

Quoi donc? You ſo impatience!—He promiſe und ſay he vas vait for his riche oncle; und he vas tell his amour, und he vas get his conſent, & donc tout de ſuite, he vas marry you.

Pau.

Yes, he promiſed—And he will keep his promiſe. Seymour will keep his promiſe.

Nan.

Eh bien, donc! He come ſo ſoon as ven his oncle is mit return.

Pau.
[20]

Very true—Then why am I reſtleſs? Why do I pine? Do I not know my Seymour? His heart and ſoul are faith and truth! Perjured? Seymour? Oh! no, no, no, no, no! No power can make him violate vows ſo ſacred, oaths ſo ſolemn! No; that is impoſſible!—Then why theſe forebodings? It is becauſe I have been deceitful! Silent to a father, who is himſelf all ſincerity, and whoſe abundant heart aches with affection for me!

Nan.

Oui! He vas die mit grand coeur to make his ſhile happy!

Pau.

Why then, Nannette, have you indulged me in this guilty deluſion?

Nan.

Dere now! Voyez vous! I am old fool! You make a lofe, I make a pity you, und dat is all my tank! Dee yong gentleman ſee you in dee ſtreet, he fall in lofe mit you, he make pretend to take leſſon mit your fader, und vat I do? I vatch for you, I keep your ſecret, I carry your letter, und, now, me voila bien payé!

Pau.

Nay, Nannette.

Nan.

Your fader ſhould be more ſuſpect.

Pau.

And becauſe he has not ſuſpected, becauſe he has generouſly confided in me, I have been mean and treacherous! Well may I forebode ſome dreadful puniſhment!

Nan.

I am hear news, ſince I am go mitout.

Pau.

News! What news?

Nan.

Tres mauvais.

Pau.

Bad! Does it relate to Seymour?

Nan.

Mais, oui.

Pau.

What is it? Tell me inſtantly!

Nan.

You know I ave country voman, dat live mit dee great Lady Fancourt.

Pau.

Well?

Nan.

Dee herr Seymour, come und make viſit mit her very ſouvent.

Pau.
[21]

Viſit!—Who? Lady Fancourt?

Nan.

She tell a me ſo. Und ſhe ſay, Lady Fancourt make a dee lofe mit him.

Pau.

With my Seymour?

Nan.

Und ſhe ſay too dat dey vill make a de marriage bien tot.

Pau.

Marry?—Seymour and Lady Fancourt?

Nan.

Ah, oui!

Pau.
(In agony)

Impoſſible! Impoſſible! Perjury and Seymour? Perjury ſo deep, ſo ſeductive, ſo deteſtable! No, it cannot be!

Nan.

Je l'eſpere bien.

Pau.

I'll write to him this inſtant! I'll write in tears; or if they are too weak to move him, in blood! Let him read, and if he have the power, if he have the heart, let him ſuffer me longer to remain in this excruciating torment!

[Exeunt.

SCENE IV. The Dreſſing-room of Lady FANCOURT

Lady FANCOURT at her toilette: JULETTE waiting.
Lady F.
(Uneaſy and agitated)

This pompoon is frightful—Take it away—Mr. Seymour has not been here?

Julette.

No, my lady.

Lady F.

How pale and ſpotted I am!

Julette.

Shall I give you the carmine, my lady?

Lady F.

No—Yes—I hate carmine! I look like a witch!—Are you ſure Mr. Seymour has not called?

Julette.

Quite ſure, my lady.

Lady F.

You are very alert, and confident.

Julette.

My lady?

Lady F.
(Softening)

Take that robe, Julette, I wore yeſterday: it is your own.

Julette.

You are the kindeſt of ladies!

Lady F.
[22]

May be the blundering porter has denied me to him?

Julette.

To whom?

Lady F.

Pſhaw!—Whom?—Mr. Seymour.

Julette.

I cautioned him myſelf, my lady.

Lady F.

Cautioned?—Cautioned?—Did you mention my name?

Julette.

I told him it was your ladyſhip's own order.

Lady F.

And who authorized you to be ſo forward?

Julette.

You yourſelf, my lady.

Lady F.

Did I?—Julette

(Taking her hand)

I fear I treat you unkindly.

(Quitting her)

I begin to deſpiſe myſelf—Three days and not one call; not one enquiry!—I am at home to nobody but Mr. Seymour.

Julette.

Not to Mr. Muſcadel?

Lady F.

I tell you, no.

Julette.
(Aſide)

Mercy! Here's change!

(Going)
Lady F.

Stay—

(Aſide)

What am I doing?—Lightly encourage, and lightly diſcard; is that my character? Is he altered, or am I? I thought I loved him—Oh no; 'twas a vain fancy. I have ſince been taught that love, wiſhing, reſtleſs, burning love, is only to be kindled by neglect—Perhaps, by ſcorn—Scorned?—

(To Julette)

Admit Mr. Muſcadel, and deny me to Mr. Seymour.

Julette.

My lady!—Yes, my lady.

(Going in a hurry)
Lady F.

Come back—You are in great haſte.

Julette.

Mr. Muſcadel is a pleaſant good natured gentleman.

Lady F.

Who gave you leave to ſpeaks?

Julette.

My lady?

Lady F.
(Softening)

Julette—

(Aſide)

Am I [23] lunatic?—Leave me, my good girl—I'll raiſe your wages.

Julette.

Dear—

Lady F.

Go. I can't talk—

[Exit Julette]

(Knocking at the ſtreet door)

Julette!

Julette.
(Without)

My lady!

Lady F.

Deny me to Mr. Muſcadel.

Julette.

Yes, my lady.

Lady F.

Yet why? What has he done? What will the world ſay?

Muſc.
(Without)

I tell you I know to the contrary.

Julette.
(Without)

Nay but indeed, ſir! Pray, ſir!

Muſc.

You miſtook your orders.

Julette.

No indeed, ſir!

SCENE V. Enter Mr. MUSCADEL.

Muſc.

I knew you were at home—Good morrow to your ladyſhip.

Lady F.

Theſe liberties, ſir—I did not chooſe to be at home.

Muſc.

To any body but me: that was kind.

(Aſide)

This is ſtrange!—There was more in that tale of Seymour than I imagined.

Lady F.

I know not how, ſir, I have ſubjected myſelf to ſuch freedoms.

Muſc.

By your amiable and poliſhed manners: by being too well bred to take offence—

(Aſide)

She wants to quarrel, but I'm determined to keep my temper. Ay, ay! This is Seymour!

Lady F.

Mr. Muſcadel, if, by any thoughtleſs conduct, I have given you cauſe to imagine more than was meant, I am ſorry for it.

Muſc.

Oh no—The Graces have been attiring you!—I never imagine. My imagination is as dull [24] as candlemas-day, in a country-hall, and a viſit from the vicar.

Lady F.

I am not diſpoſed to trifle. You may accuſe me of caprice; and I own I am not certain the accuſation would be falſe.

Muſc.

Impoſſible! I cannot accuſe; I can only adore.

(Aſide)

It is as I ſuſpected.

Lady F.

Will you underſtand me?

Muſc.

I cannot.

Lady F.

Sir!

Muſc.

You have an infinitude of charms, and infinitude is above my comprehenſion.

Lady F.

I am determined—

Muſc.

To liſten to my wild flights: you have had the ſame complaiſance a thouſand times. Angelic ſweetneſs!

Lady F.

Once more—

Muſc.

Aurora on a May-morning never looked ſo lovely!

Lady F.

'Tis in vain to attempt—

Muſc.

To reſiſt ſuch divinity! Vain indeed!—But I have ſomething to tell you—I have juſt made a call in the ſquare.

Lady F.

The ſquare?

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Oh, ho!

Lady F.

Which ſquare?

Muſc.

Cavendiſh—

(Aſide)

I have touched the maſter key at laſt.

Lady F.

Well, but—? To tell me?

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Hem!—Yes—I ſaw Sir Gregory, and Lady Louiſa—

Lady F.
(Aſide)

Tedious!—Was that all? Nobody elſe?

Muſc.
(Aſide and glancing)

Hem!—Oh! I recollect—True—Mr. Seymour—He is juſt returned.

Lady F.
(Eagerly)

Has he been out of town?

Muſc.

Yes.

Lady F.
[25]

Who? Mr. Seymour?

Muſc.

Hem!—Oh dear, no: Sir Gregory.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

Tormenting!—Did he—aſk after me?

Muſc.

With the greateſt reſpect. You are his chief favourite.

Lady F.

Indeed!

Muſc.

I mean Sir Gregory's.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

Is this inſult?

Muſc.

Mr. Seymour, too, mentioned your name: a civil enquiry.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

Am I betraying myſelf? Is he making me his amuſement?—Mr. Muſcadel—

Muſc.

Nay, you have not heard my ſtory. It will ſurpriſe you.

Lady F.

What ſtory?

Muſc.

A love one. Mr. Seymour—

Lady F.

Well!—Why don't you go on?—Is Mr. Seymour in love?

Muſc.

Deeply! Deſpondingly!

Lady F.
(Aſide)

Can that be the reaſon?

Muſc.

Perhaps you have heard with whom?

Lady F.

I—Not with any certainty.

Muſc.

Never was poor youth ſo ſmitten!

Lady F.

And deſpairs of ſucceſs?

Muſc.

No ray of hope.

Lady F.

But why? Is ſhe a queen?

Muſc.

The very queen herſelf of beauty—as I have been told.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

Can it be? In love with me?—Then you have not heard who?

Muſc.

Oh yes—The moſt ridiculous choice!

Lady F.

How!

Muſc.

Poverty, obſcurity, and impending ruin.

Lady F.

Sir!

Muſc.

A painter's daughter! Sir Gregory will certainly diſinherit him.

Lady F.
[26]
(Aſide)

This then is the ſecret cauſe!—Yet—

(To Muſcadel)

Are you not indulging your invention?

Muſc.
(Emphatically)

Matter of fact, upon my honour.

Lady F.

From whom do you get your intelligence?

Muſc.

A Mrs. Wilkins; at whoſe houſe the girl and her father live.

Lady F.

And how ſhould ſuch a woman know?

Muſc.

Oh! Mrs. Wilkins is a very well informed lady. But you may eaſily ſatisfy yourſelf.

Lady F.

Which way?

Muſc.

'Tis only in Duke-ſtreet: call in and view the pictures:

(Lady Fancourt rings)

or ſit for your portrait. There needs no ceremony.

Lady F.
(To Footman)

Order my carriage.

Muſc.
(Soothing)

Shall I attend you?

Lady F.

No.

Muſc.

You ſeem—moved.

Lady F.

I generally am what I ſeem.

Muſc.

A common caſe this: the feelings ſtrong, the failings great.

Lady F.

Sir! Was that to me?

Muſc.

Upon my—

Lady F.

I wiſh no apologies—When you came in I would have explained; you would not hear—I wiſh to avoid—that is—Excuſe me, but—In ſhort—Pray leave me.

Muſc.
(Aſſuming a manly and impaſſioned tone)

Lady Fancourt, you have examined me too ſuperficially: you have noticed only the ſhell; the habits and manners which wild cuſtom and tame convenience may have taught. Be juſt, and look a little deeper. You think I have no heart: you are miſtaken.

Lady F.
[27]

'Tis you that miſtake: I knew more of your heart than of my own.

[Knocking heard.]
Muſc.

Here is company, and we muſt not now have either hearts or feelings. We muſt put on the maſk, keep our temper, and be as placid as Mandarins on a mantle-piece, to ſhew our breeding.

Lady F.

You may: I cannot—Nobody will be admitted.

Muſc.

Nobody?

Lady F.

But—Mr. Seymour.

Muſc.

Lady Fancourt!

Lady F.

I tell you the plain truth. If he come—

Muſc.

I muſt go?

Lady F.

I ſhall take it as a favour.

Muſc.
(Aſide)

No, even this ſhall not throw me off my guard. In love, as in war, the cool combatant has the beſt chance of victory.

SCENE VI. Enter Footman and SEYMOUR.

Lady F.

Mr. Seymour! Is it you? I thought you had been gone to the Indies, or the Antipodes, or ſome ſtrange place.

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Hem!

Seym.

Your ladyſhip is late at your toilette today.

Lady F.

Am I? It is ſo difficult to pleaſe one's ſelf.

Muſc.

In order to pleaſe us.

Seym.

Your ladyſhip needs no factitious ornament, no aid from the toilette to pleaſe.

Lady F.

Take care, Mr. Seymour: you are a man of principle, with you ſincerity is a virtue.

Seym.

It is ſurely, madam, no offence to ſincerity to ſay that beauty, like truth, is the moſt ſplendid when leaſt encumbered.

Muſc.
[28]

Tolerably well that, but a little too ſentimental.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

Will he not go?

Muſc.

You do well, Seymour, to come here for leſſons. See with what faſhionable originality Lady Fancourt and I expreſs, I mean conceal, our mutual affection.

Lady F.

Sir!

Muſc.

'Tis true I have ſacrificed, as I ought, fifty of the fineſt women in England to her ladyſhip's ſuperior charms.

Lady F.

I thought, Mr. Muſcadel, what had juſt paſſed would have relieved me from ſuch inſulting freedoms.

Muſc.

Nay, all the world knows I am your adorer; and what harm in telling that which all the world knows? Charles here I dare ſay is your adorer too.

Lady F.

Do you, Mr. Muſcadel, or do you not, remember what has been ſaid?

Muſc.

Perfectly, my lady. Courage, Charles! I am ſorry I am obliged to leave you. You will be very dull when I am gone. Talk, man, talk! Don't ſtand ſtudying half an hour for a civil thing; looking as ſtupid as a poet in ſearch of a ſimile, and as inanimate as a wooden lion at the head of a Dutch ſhip.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

Intolerable.

Muſc.

But Ha, ha, ha! Love is your religion, you are a quaker by ſect, and your ſilence is a ſign of your devotion. You will find him very entertaining, Lady Fancourt.

Lady F.

The entertainment, ſir, which conſiſts in gratifying ſpleen at the expence of feeling, is not very enviable.

Muſc.

Spleen? Oh, no; you miſtake. Ha, ha, ha! I never knew what ſpleen, envy, or jealouſy [29] were in my life. Never—But I am ſorry to puniſh you both, by leaving you together. You will ſoon miſs me! Charles, don't begin to yawn too ſoon. And let me tell you a ſecret, before I go. Woman, you know, is a riddle: the ſolution to which is, you muſt either uſe her very ill, or be treated worſe by her than a ſtraggling hound by a whipper-in. La, la, la, la. Good-morrow to your ladyſhip. Don't think I am ſplenetic. Ha, ha, ha! I am not jealous, Charles.

[Exit.

SCENE VII. SEYMOUR, Lady FANCOURT.

Seym.

Mr. Muſcadel beneath the maſk of levity conceals an excellent underſtanding.

Lady F.

Do you think ſo? I have ſometimes been of that opinion, ſometimes not.

Seym.

As a proof, he has a real reſpect and admiration for your ladyſhip.

Lady F.

For me, or for my rank, wealth, and powerful connexions?

Seym.

If I can judge, his paſſion is ſincere and ardent.

Lady F.

I am ſorry for it—The caprices of love, Mr. Seymour, are often cruel.

Seym.

And often fatal. Yet I begin to ſuſpect they are the mere creatures of our own diſordered imaginations.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

There is hope in that thought—Why true. How then can we anſwer it to our relations, or the world, if, ſeduced by ſome fancied beauties of perſon, perhaps by the mere accident of complexion, which a froſty air gives and a gloomy day deſtroys, looking no deeper, we turn from proſperity and wilfully embrace ruin; in which we not only involve ourſelves but all who are neareſt and deareſt to the heart?

Seym.
(Diſturbed)

'Tis cowardice! Guilt!

Lady F.
[30]

Preceded by perturbation, followed by remorſe; beginning in folly, ending in deſpair.

Seym.
(In a deep reverie)

The picture is falſe! Not thy complexion, Paulina! No; 'tis thy emanating divine mind!

Lady F.

Mr. Seymour.

Seym.

Madam—I have a weakneſs—It hourly hurries me into abſurdity.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

And what have I?

Seym.

I am unfit company—

Lady F.

Nay, one moment—Your uncle has told me you have thoughts of marriage. 'Tis a ſerious act. What is its end? Your birth is noble, your talents are great, your expectations cannot be too high. The happineſs of your family is at ſtake: the eye of the world is fixed upon you. Love, you own, is but the creature of fancy—You would not marry—a painter's daughter?

Seym.

Madam!

Lady F.

Look forward to the honours that are poſſible.

Seym.

I deſpiſe them.

Lady F.

Well then, to the good you may effect; the happineſs you may diffuſe.

Seym.

Ay, that is a weighty thought!

Lady F.

A claim, which mankind has upon you. Diſgrace your family, deſtroy your peace, and deſert your duty? It muſt not be!

Seym.

The motives indeed are powerful.

Lady F.

Think me intereſted, and perhaps [...] am; I ſcorn hypocriſy; but, if I ſpeak truth, conſider and reſolve.

[Exit.
Seym.

Why ſo!—The warfare thickens and the battle rages!—She has a noble mind!—Her arguments are potent!—Yet ſhe knows not all. Oh! Paulina! Muſt a ſiſter, or muſt thou, be ſacrificed? Something muſt be done. Yet every hour increaſes [31] ſtupefaction! My mind confuſed, my powers confounded, I deſpiſe my own imbecility yet cannot ſhake it off! Like hag-ridden ſleep, gaſping for breath, and heaving for motion, I am chained down in agonizing impotence!

[Exit.

ACT III.

SCENE I. The Houſe of Sir GREGORY OLDWORT.

Sir GREGORY meeting JAMES.
James.
(IN a half whiſper and ſignificantly)

Mrs. Vilkins is below, Sir Gregory.

Sir Greg.
(Aſſuming anger)

Who?

James.
(With continued ſignificance)

Mrs. Vilkins.

Sir Greg.

What do you mean? What does ſhe want? Who is Mrs. Wilkins?

James.

Oh! Boh! Your honour knows Mrs. Vilkins wery vell. The old lodging houſe lady; vhere the pretty—

Sir Greg.

What is that you ſay, fellow? I know! I—!

James.

Vhere your honour uſed to wiſit ſo often, laſt vinter.

Sir Greg.

Why, man, do you mean to inſinuate—?

James.

Lord, no, your honour! I means to ſinniate nothing, not I.

Sir Greg.
[32]

How often muſt I warn you, ſirrah, that theſe freedoms of yours are intolerable?

James.

Nay your honour wery vell knows I am cloſe.

Sir Greg.

How dare you, fellow, reptile, ſlave, comment on my actions? "Mine? Your liege lord, vaſſal?"

James.

I commit your actions? Lord, your honour, I am not a tenth part ſo vicked a ſinner! But I likes you ſhould call me names, for then you doesn't forget huſh money.

Sir Greg.

I'll diſmiſs you inſtantly—

James.

So you have ſaid a thouſand times.

Sir Greg.

For your infernal impudence.

James.

No; 'tis for that you keeps me. I ſhouldn't ſuit your honour if I hadn't a bit o'braſs.

Sir Greg.

Begone! Quit my preſence.

James.

Your honour forgets! Mrs. Vilkins is below!

Sir Greg.

"Was ever a man of my family, my dignity, thus inſulted by his knave, his ſlave, his ſerf, his villain!" What is it that your Mrs. Wilkins wants with me?

James.

Vhy, ſhe ſays, hearing as how your honour is juſt returned to town,

(Looking round)

ſhe has a lodger.

Sir Greg.

What, a a a young—? Hem!

(Reſuming his dignity)

What is that to me, fellow?

James.

A fine bit o' bloom!

Sir Greg.

Why, ſirrah—!

James.

Nay! I doesn't mean to ſinniate nothing!

Sir Greg.

Begone, ſcoundrel!

James.

Oh! Vell!

Sir Greg.

Come back, do you hear?

James.
(Laughing)

Your honour?

Sir Greg.

How dare you, fellow—!

James.
[33]

Your honour?

Sir Greg.

Let that woman in?

James.
(Going)

Oh!

Sir Greg.

Where are you going?

James.

To turn her out.

Sir Greg

Turn—!

James.

I'll ſhew her the ſhort vay.

Sir Greg.

Come back, hound! How dare you—?

James.

Muſt I ſend her out?

Sir Greg.

Why, ſlave—!

James.

Or ſend her up?

Sir Greg.

Reptile!

James.

Lord, Sir Gregory, there's no pleaſing you. But I knows wery vell vhat your honour vould be at, ſo I'll ſend her up.

[Exit.
Sir Greg.

The manners of this malicious age are inſufferable! If one of our ancient Barons thought proper to have his concubine, what vaſſal refuſed his daughter? Who durſt breathe diſapprobation? He had a certain cure for calumny; a gallows, on his own domains; himſelf the judge. But now his very Menials ſit in judgment on his character; and ſip it up in tea, coffee, limmonade, and the reſt of their contemptible ſmall tipple.

SCENE II. Enter Mrs. WILKINS and JAMES.

Sir Greg.

How comes it, Mrs. Wilkins, that—?

Mrs. W.

Not a ſoul ſaw me come up, Sir Gregory.

(Sir Gregory ſtops to conſider at each ſuggeſtion of Mrs. Wilkins, then reverts to his dignity)
Sir Greg.

A man of my dignity!

Mrs. W.
(Pointing to her bonnet)

My curtain over my face—

Sir Greg.

The family of Oldwort!

Mrs. W.
[34]

I am not known in this neighbourhood.

Sir Greg.

Who ſhall dare—?

Mrs. W.

There was no creature in the ſtreet.

Sir Greg.

My character, madam, muſt be reſpected!

Mrs. W.

Not a ſervant in the houſe has ſet eyes on me, except James.

Sir Greg.

Expoſed to the ſcandal of of—! Are you ſure my niece, Lady Louiſa, did not ſee you?

Mrs. W.

Certain, Sir Gregory!

James.
(With his uſual ſigns)

She's gone out, your honour.

Sir Greg.

Why how now, caitiff! How dare you ſtand liſtening—? Begone!

James.

I'll keep vatch, your honour!

Sir Greg.

The wicked tongues of this wicked world—

Mrs. W.

The ſweeteſt creature!

Sir Greg.

Hey! What?

Mrs. W.

I knew, Sir Gregory—

Sir Greg.

What did you know? Mrs. Wilkins, you give yourſelf very ſtrange liberties!

Mrs. W.

An angel!

Sir Greg.

Hey! Who? What, what?

Mrs. W.

Eyes never beheld her equal!

Sir Greg.

Indeed!

Mrs. W.

Enchanting!

Sir Greg.

So very beautiful?

Mrs. W.

In the full bloom of youth!

Sir Greg.

Auburn hair?

Mrs. W.

Blue eyes!

"Sir Greg.

Slender waiſt?

"Mrs. W.

Ivory teeth!

"Sir Greg.

Pouting lips?

"Mrs. W.

Snow white neck!"

Sir Greg.

Is ſhe at home?

Mrs. W.
[35]

And alone, at this very moment.

Sir Greg.

Now?

Mrs. W.

At this moment.

(Sir Gregory rings)

She has a father, and an old gouvernante.

SCENE III. Enter JAMES with a large hat and roquelaure.

James.

Here is your honour's ſlouched hat and cloak.

Sir Greg.

Why, hind! This fellow's familiar inſolence would drive a man mad!

James.

You may ſlip out, Sir Gregory, in a twinkling.

Sir Greg.

Fungus!

Mrs. W.
(Looking through the door)

All is ſtill.

Sir Greg.

Woman!

James.

There is a hackney coach vaiting round the corner.

(A loud rap is heard at the door)
Sir Greg.

Zounds! Here's ſomebody coming!

(Making ſigns to James)

Quick! Quick!

James.
(Stealing off)

Never fear, your honour.

Sir Greg.
(To Mrs. Wilkins)

Up with your cloak; down with your curtain!

SCENE IV. Enter SEYMOUR.

Mrs. W.
(Curtſying)

I humbly thank your honour. Your honour is a good gentleman, a kind gentleman, and a father to the friendleſs!

Sir Greg.
(Pompouſly)

Go, go; good woman.

Mrs. W.

Heaven bleſs your honour!

[Exit.
Sir Greg.

So, ſir! Did not I lay my commands on you to viſit Lady Fancourt?

Seym.

I have obeyed your commands, ſir.

Sir Greg.

Oh, you have? It is your wiſeſt courſe.

Seym.
[36]

So ſay prudence and pride; but principle and inclination pull the contrary way.

Sir Greg.

What do you mean by inclination, ſir? How dare you ſuppoſe you have inclinations?

Seym.

Who has not?

Sir Greg.

Ah! So that, like a ſhip at anchor, you are always in motion, without ever making any way!

Seym.

Exactly ſo, ſir.

Sir Greg.

Inclination, indeed! Get an eſtate; get rank; get honour. Your ſiſter, too, has her inclinations: but let her beware!

Re-enter JAMES.
James.
(Aſide to Sir Gregory)

The coach is vaiting. Muſt I ſend it avay?

Sir Greg.
(Aſide but angrily)

Begone, mungrel!

James.

Hah! That means, no—I'll take care, your honour. The hat and cloak is ready in the hall.

[Exit.
Sir Greg.
(Sternly)

Look to it, ſir! I am reſolved. Lady Fancourt is of one of our firſt families, has a fine eſtate, is in high favour at court. To refuſe ſuch a match were idiotiſm, or lunacy. Inclination? My age, ſtation, and character, demand reſpect: I am your natural guardian, counſellor, and guide; make me your mirror; curb your paſſions; follow good example, good advice, good morals. Keep your character clear, your conduct chaſte, your conſcience pure, and obey your betters. Mark me, ſir; I am reſolved! Inclinations indeed?

James.
(Peeping in at the door, and aſide)

All is ready!

Sir Greg.
(Aſide)

Scoundrel! Hem!

(Aloud)

Inclinations indeed!

[Exeunt James and Sir Gregory.
Seym.
[37]

Why, ay. Riches, rank, and power, bought at the expence of perturbation, perjury, and—murder!—I know her heart: ſhe could not, would not, ſurvive my treachery!

SCENE V. Enter Lady LOUISA.

Lady L.

Well, Charles; what ſtill in the mournfuls?

Seym.

I am the moſt irreſolute, moſt childiſh, moſt miſerable of men.

Lady L.

Ah; you have been to Paulina?

Seym.

Would I had! I ſhould then at leaſt be relieved from ſuſpence: ſhould be hers everlaſtingly, or everlaſtingly ſeparated from her. No ſtate of mind can be more degrading, than that in which I remain.

Lady L.

But you have been ſomewhere?

Seym.

Yes: to viſit Lady Fancourt.

Lady L.

Well?

Seym

She has heard of Paulina.

Lady L.

How?

Seym.

Do not think me vain—ſhe is jealous.

Lady L.

Then Sir Gregory will be told! What will become of us?

Seym.

Your huſband is my friend; I love his amiable qualities; but they are delicate, not daring: they would ſhrink and wither, at the touch of miſfortune.

Lady L.

'Tis true.

Seym.

I, and I only, ſeem to have the power to preſerve a ſiſter, a friend, and a brother. But the means? Oh, did you know Paulina! Her mind, vaſt and luminous! Extinguiſhed? Trodden out, by me? Horrible thought!

Lady L.

If it be ſo ſtrong, there is no fear.

Seym.
[38]

It has its weakneſs: I have mine. Read that letter.

Lady L.

From whom?

Seym.

Paulina: the deceived, afflicted, injured, yet ever faithful Paulina! Read.

Lady L.
(Reads)

"This is the eighth day that my Seymour, my beloved, has been abſent! Where is he? Where is my bridegroom, my huſband; for ſo, in the preſence of heaven and all the heavenly hoſt, he is? Am I forgotten? They tell me of a lady! Where art thou, Seymour? Where is the beloved of my ſoul? Has he forſaken me? Oh, no! Deteſted be the unjuſt the ungenerous thought! Come, in pity come, leſt phrenzy ſuddenly ſeize on thy Paulina!"—Poor dear girl!—What can be done?

Seym.

Something dreadful! Something that ſhall teach youth the horrid torments attendant on deceit; that ſhall make me a fearful example of blind, raſh, unequal love!

Lady L.

Charles! Collect your thoughts. Terror and diſtraction may increaſe, but cannot cure, evil.

Seym.

And muſt I then live and die a perjured wretch?—A monſter?—Oh the villany of raſhneſs! Did you know how I laboured, intreated, threatened, wept, ſwore! Solemn oaths, wild phrenzies, deſperate threats, no horror had been left unacted had ſhe perſevered in rejecting me! What then had ſhe been faithleſs, perjured as I am? Oh! Madneſs!

Lady L.

Brother! Charles!

[Exeunt.

SCENE VI. The Painter's.

[39]
Mrs. WILKINS and NANNETTE.
Mrs. W.

Fine airs, indeed! But I'll ſend you to a ſafe place.

Nan.
(Aſide)

Carogne!

Mrs. W.

Run in every body's debt, pay no rent, and ſtand upon your punctilios, truly!

Nan.

Mais, madame—

Mrs. W.

An old gentleman, a modeſt gentleman, a kind gentleman, ay and a baronet!

Nan.

Mais—

Mrs. W.

No leſs a perſon than Sir Gregory Oldwort!

Nan.
(Struck with the name)

Qui? Vat you ſay? Dee Chevalier Oldvort?

Mrs. W.

Shivalyay indeed? I ſay, to Sir Gregory Oldwort!

Nan.

Ah, dieu! Vhy you not tell ſo much ſoon before?

Mrs. W.

Oh, ho!

Nan.

Und dee Chevalier Oldvort know my maitreſſe?

Mrs. W.

How ſhould he know her? She would not ſo much as ſhew her face!

Nan.

Mais, ſhe not know it vas dee Chevalier, autrement

Mrs. W.

In plain Engliſh, will ſhe admit his viſits, or will ſhe not?

Nan.

Mais mon dieu! Dee Chevalier not make a lofe mit my maitreſſe?

Mrs. W.

What can I tell? Why not? May be no; may be yes. That's their affair. I have nothing to do with people's private concerns.

Nan.

Ah, j'entens! I ſpeak mit Paulina, und, [40] vhen dee Chevalier Oldvort is return, you tell a me; et nous verrons.

Mrs. W.

Well, well. But this matter muſt be managed cautiouſly. The old gentleman muſt not be ſeen. Nobody muſt come in, while he is here. You underſtand me?

Nan.

Oui, oui. Let a me do.

Mrs. W.

You muſt not ſeem to know who he is.

Nan.

Mais, pour quoi? Vat is dat?

Mrs. W.

Anan? I tell you, he would not be known for the world. So mind what I ſay, be cautious and compliant; or, remember—!

[Exit.
Nan.

Bon dieu! Dee Chevalier Oldvort! Vat ſhall I vill do?

SCENE VII. Enter CRAIG.

(With great chearfulneſs)
Craig.

Ah! Nannette!

Nan.

Eh bien?

Craig.

I am in high ſpirits! I have had an interview with his lordſhip.

Nan.

Bon.

Craig.

He is well bred; underſtands character; talked to me on terms of equality; never once reminded me that he was a peer, and I—? A painter!—He is a man of ſenſe:

Nan.

Ah, ha! Vat he vas pay you?

Craig.
(Not attending to her)

He pleaſed me highly!

Nan.

He vas pay you mit money?

Craig.

Curſe money! Mention money to me? No; he treated me like a gentleman:

Nan.

Comment!

Craig.
[41]
(Inattentive to her)

Diſcourſed with eaſe; praiſed my pictures;

Nan.

Und vas not give you pay mit money?

Craig.

Pointed out their beauties, frankly told me their defects—

Nan.

Patience! He not pay you mit money?

Craig.

Peace! Woman. Damn money! Do you forget who I am? You are determined to put me in an ill humour.

Nan.

J'enrage! Here is dee vilaine landlady ſhe turn us all out, our head mit dee door.

Craig.

Ha! More dunning? More? Well, well!

Nan.

She put us mit dee priſon, und ſhe make us all ſtarve und die mit hunger.

Craig.

Me; not you. I defy her malice.

Nan.

Vat you ſay?—Not me?—You go to priſon, you ſtrave mit hunger, und I not go to priſon, I not ſtarve mit hunger, too?

Craig.

Woman, I have already too many obligations to you.

Nan.

Mais c'eſt trop! I am live mit you twenty year; I am nurſe your ſhile; I am die mit your vife, ma pauvre maitreſſe; I am eat mit you, drink mit you, laugh mit you, cry mit you, and I am not go to priſon mit you? I am not die mit hunger mit you? Barbare!

Craig.

Oh this ſtubborn heart!—Good affectionate creature

(Taking her hand)

Yes, Nannette, if ſo it muſt be we'll rot, ſtarve, and die together!

Nan.
(Eagerly kiſſing his hand)

Mon bon maitre! Mon cher ami! You alvays ave dee heart—Tenez—So big! Comme ça

(Making a circle ever her whole boſom)

Und I ave dee heart ſo big, too.

Craig.

So thou haſt, Nannette. I have tried it, and hope yet to ſee it rewarded—But this money! This vile contaminating traffic—I muſt ſubmit. [42] I'm to be paid this afternoon. The ſteward was out and I, tradeſman like, muſt call again.

Nan.

Ha! Dat is mit vhat dee Milors pay dere debt: call again! Call again? Ha! I don't a lofe call again.

[Exeunt.

SCENE VIII. Changes to the Houſe of Sir GREGORY OLDWORT.

Enter Lady LOUISA meeting CHARLES.
Lady L.

Oh, brother!

Seym.

What is the matter?

Lady L.

All is over! I'm betrayed!

Seym.

How?

Lady L.

Sir Gregory—Mr. Compton directs my letters under cover to his ſiſter.

Seym.

Well?

Lady L.

Sir Gregory's ſuſpicions have induced him to continue his viſits to her: ſhe had juſt received a letter for me, had ſtript off the cover and laid it for a moment on her dreſſing table: Sir Gregory abruptly came in, ſaw the direction, "to Lady Louiſa Compton," ſnatched it up, and deaf to the intreaties of poor Miſs Compton refuſed to return it, determined he ſaid to deliver it himſelf.

Seym.

How do you know all this?

Lady L.

Miſs Compton's woman came running terrified and out of breath to tell me.

Seym.

What can be done?

Lady L.

I am ruined! Mr. Compton is ruined!

SCENE IX. Enter Sir GREGORY (With Letter)

Sir Greg.

So, madam!

Lady L.
(In great confuſion)

Sir—

Sir Greg.

Compton is your name?

Seym.

My dear uncle—

Sir Greg.
[43]
(Sternly)

Silence, ſir!—Will you pleaſe to read me this letter; or muſt I be under the neceſſity of breaking the ſeal?

Lady L.

If I might hope for your forgiveneſs, ſir—

Sir Greg.

Will you read me the letter?

Seym.

Your anger, ſir, overpowers my ſiſter.

Sir Greg.

Silence, once more!—Your name is Compton?

Lady L.
(Falling on her knee)

It is, ſir.

Sir Greg.

Prepare to leave this houſe.

Lady L.

For the love of pity—!

Sir Greg.

Prepare to leave this houſe.

Lady L.

I am fatherleſs, I am fortuneleſs, I am in your power: you are my uncle; do with me what you pleaſe.

Sir Greg.

Left in indigence by a diſſipated father, abandoned by the ſpendthrift peer your brother, I foſtered, I protected you; I watched to preſerve the family dignity from taint; my charity would have reſcued the name of Oldwort from degradation.

Seym.
(Aſide)

Admirable charity!

Sir Greg.

But the object for which I laboured is loſt, and I renounce you! I ſhake you off! You are an alien to my blood, and your puniſhment will be my daily prayer.

Seym.

Conſider, ſir—

Sir Greg.

Ay and you, ſir, if you utter another word; you too, with your inclinations! Nay, if an hour hence I find you here, madam, the next hour ſhall rid me of you both!

[Exit throwing down the letter.

SCENE X. SEYMOUR, Lady LOUISA.

Seym.
(Picking it up)

Be comforted, Louiſa. There is yet one deſperate courſe to take. I am [44] now your only protector: it is fit I ſhould devote myſelf. Were it only myſelf—? 'Tis madneſs, and miſery! But it muſt be done.

Lady L.

Not for me! You ſhall not be miſerable for me!

Seym.

Every duty calls upon me; and, in addition to them all, the ſalvation of a ſiſter! It ſhall be done.

Lady L.

What will become of me? Where muſt I go?

Seym.

With me to Lady Fancourt. I will put you under her protection.

Lady L.

And ſacrifice yourſelf?

Seym.

Duty, reaſon, fraternal affection, all demand it. Come; there is no time to be loſt.

Lady L.

This muſt not be!

Seym.

We muſt not argue, muſt not think; that were diſtraction: my hour at length is come, and now act I muſt. Oh, Paulina! I'll ſee her once more, take one laſt eternal adieu, then, if my heart ſtrings hold but this, crack them who can!

[Exeunt.

ACT IV.

SCENE I. The Painter's.

Lady FANCOURT, Mrs. WILKINS.
Lady F.

NOT at home, ſay you?

Mrs. W.

She will ſoon be back, my lady. I think I hear her voice below, now.

Lady F.
[45]
(Aſide)

Why am I here? Rivaled by an obſcure unprotected indigent creature? I? Flattered and purſued as I have been, for my beauty rank and riches, and rivaled? Thus rivaled too? Dreading, envying, nay half hating a low born girl, whom I have never ſeen? Is it real? Can I thus ſtoop and forget my better reaſon and my proud fortunes? What miracle is ſhe; and what poor pitiable thing am I?

SCENE II. Enter PAULINA. Salute.

Lady F.
(Stands admiring)

Why yes! She is beautiful! Her countenance beams intelligence and ſoul!—Pray leave us.

[Exit Mrs. Wilkins.]

Your name is Paulina?

Pau.

It is, madam.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

What ſweetneſs of voice!—I am come to talk to you. Take courage: ſpeak your ſentiments freely.

Pau.

I ſhould be ſorry, madam, to need the caution. Being conſcious of no ill, I know not why or what I ought to fear.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

Indeed! So firm?—Superior wealth rank and power uſually inſpire ſuch fears.

Pau.

Uſually, but unworthily. 'Tis the degradation of mind to fear any thing, but guilt.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

Wonderful!—I had heard of your beauty, and am ſurpriſed at your underſtanding.

Pau.

They are both of them accidents. If I poſſeſs them, I can but ill explain how, or why.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

There is witchery about her!—Do you know me?

Pau.

No.

Lady F.

Do you know—Mr. Seymour?

Pau.
[46]

Madam!

Lady F.

Does your firmneſs leave you?

Pau.

No: but the queſtion is abrupt.

Lady F.

Does it offend?

Pau.

There is ſomething in you, madam, which aſſures me it is not your cuſtom to intend offence; and I will not think you intend it now.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

This is ſtrange! Sentiments ſo juſt, ſo uncommon, and in a painter's daughter? 'Tis amazing!—I came to reaſon with you, to warn you.

Pau.

Againſt what?

Lady F.

Miſtake, miſery, crime: the deſertion of duty, the contempt of the world, and the hatred of him whom your allurements have inveigled.

Pau.
(Suppreſſing paſſion)

Madam, I will again ſuppoſe you do not intend to wound; I will therefore reſolve not to feel—But you do me injuſtice—I am young, have neither the wealth, rank, nor power you ſeem to revere; yet I am no inveigler.

Lady F.

Your ſpirit is high!

Pau.

I mean it to be no more than juſt; if I exceed, I am ſorry.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

She is an extraordinary creature!—Think on the conſequences—

Pau.

Of what?

Lady F.

A union ſo unequal!

Pau.

I have thought, and can diſcover no true inequality, but between virtue and vice.

Lady F.

Thus we palliate our errors. Selfiſhneſs is the lurking motive. So that our own petty concerns do but proſper, we care not though the world go to wrcck!

Pau.

Convince me of any wrong I ſhall do to Seymour or to juſtice, and I will ſuffer martyrdom rather than commit it. For the mere forms and [47] rules of an arrogant and intereſted world I have but little reſpect.

Lady F.
(Aſide)

She aims to tower above me! Am I unjuſt? Is it not pride in her? Is it not preſumption? In ſome gifts perhaps my equal, in others ſurely ſhe is my inferior. And ſhall I cede the high claims of love; the dear affections of the heart? But their paſſion is mutual. Be it ſo: what is it but mutual folly? My views are rational, my motives dignified, and merit ſucceſs. Her's are romantic, fatal to order and the peace of families, and muſt be ſhall be fruſtrated.

SCENE III. Re-enter Mrs. WILKINS.

Mrs. W.

Your ladyſhip's carriage is come back, as you ordered.

Lady F.

Very well—I have given you good advice, reflect on what I have ſaid. You have received great gifts: act as becomes you, and increaſe the admiration you have raiſed. But, beware! Indulge no fond folly. Attempt not to graſp the ſtars! Seymour and his alliances are above you. Shun raſhneſs, follow good counſel, and dread involving yourſelf and him you pretend to love in wretchedneſs. Dare not to ſet vice ſo dangerous an example!

[Exit.
Pau.
(Wiſhing to be heard)

Madam—

Mrs. W.

Pray take care, your ladyſhip!

Pau.

What can this mean?

Mrs. W.
(To Paulina)

'Tis the great Lady Fancourt! Huſh!

[Exit.
Pau.

Lady Fancourt? Heavens! What do theſe warnings, theſe threats portend? I cannot be deceived? Theſe haughty claims theſe arrogant diſtinctions of wealth and birth are not, cannot be juſt! But ſhe declares her views on Seymour! Where is [48] he? Why is he ſtill abſent? My letter unanſwered! What are his thoughts? What are his feelings? What are his deſigns? Oh!—

(Falls in a chair covering her face with her hands.)

SCENE IV. Enter NANNETTE.

Pau.
(Suddenly ſtarting up and running to her)

Nannette! Haſt thou ſeen him? Has he read my letter? Will he come?

Nan.

Par hazard, I ave ſee him.

Pau.

Haſt thou?—And the letter?

Nan.

He has not anſwer mit your letter.

Pau.
(Wildly)

No anſwer?—No anſwer?

Nan.

Mais quelle impatience! He is not write mit anſwer; but he is vill be here, now by and by.

Pau.

Will he? Will he?—Oh, yes! Do I not know my Seymour? How ſhall I expiate the frequent ſuſpicions of his faith, of which I have lately been guilty?

Nan.

Chut! Taiſez vous! Your fader is come.

SCENE V. Enter CRAIG.

Craig.

Haſt thou not thought me long, Paulina?

Pau.

No, ſir.

Craig.

Here, Nannette; take this tradeſman's dirt: it fouls my fingers.

Pau.

And why?

Craig.

Pay it away; rid me of it! I feel my ſoul groveling at the touch.

Nan.

Ciel! Dee money make pay mit dee Milor! Eh! I am very great big mit joy!

[Exit.
Craig.

Wages, counted out by a menial, for work done and delivered for his maſter. Ah!—

SCENE VI. Enter SEYMOUR, dejectedly.

[49]
Seym.

Good-morrow, my worthy friends.

(Paulina diſcovers great joy)
Craig.

My pupil? I am glad to ſee you!

Seym.

Have you been walking?

Craig.

Buſineſs. Following my trade. Doing as I was bid, and ſigning a receipt in full, with a bow a cringe and a humbly thank you, ſir! I hope for your future cuſtom! No ſhopkeeper in England will ſerve you better!—I have learned the whole trick of it.

Seym.

If you think labour an indignity, you are wrong.

Craig.

What, ſo much per day?—Well!—No matter. But how has it happened that you, the friend of my art, have abſented yourſelf for a whole week?

Seym.
(Embarraſſed)

The expectation—My uncle was out of town.

Craig.

Is he returned?

Seym.

Yes.

Craig.

Well, ſir, I applaud your dutiful attention—Your marriage then will ſoon take place?

(Paulina extremely alarmed)
Seym.
Confuſed)

What marriage? Who tells you—?

Craig.

Oh! The woman below; a thouſand idle goſſips buſy themſelves in ſpreading reports that relate to perſons of high life

(Paulina's agitation increaſes)

The union is ſpoken of with applauſe.

Seym.
(Watching Paulina in the back ground)

What union, ſir?

Craig.

With Lady Fancourt.

Seym.

But, ſir—I aſſure you—It is not—That is, I have never propoſed ſuch a marriage to her ladyſhip.

(Paulina relieved)
Craig.
[50]

Nay, if you could not be happy, far be it from me to wiſh for ſuch an event.

Seym.

Then happy I nevér could be

(Joy of Paulina—Pauſe)

But what ſubjects are you employed on at preſent?

Craig.

Various. I have a picture I wiſh to ſhew you. It ſtill wants a few touches. I have left it in the parlour. Will you have the goodneſs to wait a moment?

[Exit.

SCENE VII. PAULINA runs to SEYMOUR.

Pau.

My Seymour!

(Looking ſtedfaſtly for a moment, then affectionately ſnatching his hand)

My Seymour!

Seym.

My precious Paulina!

Pau.

How doſt thou?

Seym.

Ill: very ill!

Pau.
(Alarmed)

Ill?

Seym.

Wretched!

Pau.

What doſt thou mean, Seymour?

(PAUSE)

Why doſt thou look thus deſpondingly on me?—What is there in thy thoughts?—Some dreadful ſecret, ſure!—Speak! Thy ſilence diſtracts me!

Seym.

Man is born for miſery, guilt, perjury!

Pau.
(With horror)

Seymour?

Seym.

I have a ſiſter, young, affectionate, and noble minded as thyſelf—

Pau.

Well?

Seym.

But deſolate, ruined, devoted to wretchedneſs, unleſs—!

Pau.

How can—?

Seym.

Lady Fancourt—!

Pau.
(With a ſudden cry of anguiſh)

Stop!—Forbear!

(Falling on her knees and again ſeizing his hand)

Thou art mine!—

(With wild agony)

[51] Thou art mine!—Caſt thy eyes up to heaven; remember what thou haſt ſworn; remember who hath heard thee!

(With frantic fervour)

—By that divine, that juſt, that avenging eſſence, whoſe immaculate name thou haſt made thy pledge, I will not ſurvive thy falſhood!

(Again with agony)

Thou art mine! Thou art mine!

(Riſing)

Why talk of ſurviving? The maddening brain is murdered by the bare ſuſpicion!

SCENE VIII. Re-enter CRAIG with the picture; whoſe mind is ſo occupied through the ſcene by his picture, that he does not attend to the agitation of Paulina and Seymour.

Craig.

Works addreſſed to the imagination are unworthy of praiſe, unleſs they have ſome moral purpoſe. The ſubject I have choſen will meet applauſe from you, ſir, and all whoſe hearts and principles are equally generous and noble—It is the progreſs of ſeduction; beginning in perjury, ending in ſuicide.

Seym.

Sir!

Craig.
(Pleaſed)

I knew it muſt incite terror!—This is but one of a ſeries of pictures—Here I have imagined—

Seym.

Perjury? Here is a portrait of Paulina!

Craig.

Yes—Perhaps the partiality of a father led me to ſuppoſe the form and countenance of my Paulina miraculouſly adapted to my ſubject—But obſerve—The ſcene is a cave

(Pointing)

an overhanging rock, a gloomy foreſt in the back ground, ſome broken lights and diſtances on the left, and a deep gulph in front: the heroine here, here the confidante, and here the only guardian they dared to truſt, a faithful maſtiff. Obſerve theſe traits. Behold her, with all her native candor and confidence, [52] waiting for her expected lover, and imagining all his ſuperior qualities of ſoul; while the godlike picture her fancy forms, of him and his high deſerts, beams in her eyes, and illuminates her countenance!—How ſhall I pourtray the agony of a heart ſo pure and unſuſpecting, when the fearful moment comes? Is it not an intereſting ſubject?

Seym.

A ſubject of terror! Horror! Madneſs!

Craig.
(Quitting the picture)

Yes, madneſs is one of its principal features—After depicting the dreadful conflict, when ſhe hears the perjured ſeducer is on the eve of marriage with another, after ſhewing her in all the agonies of deſpair, imploring at his feet—perhaps at the feet of his miſtreſs—

[Paulina appears to be ſuddenly ſtruck, at this moment, with her father's thought; which ſhe muſt expreſs in action, and run precipitately out of the chamber-door, that leads to the ſtreet. That this may be perceptible, an interruption muſt be put to the Painter's deſcription, by the embarraſſment of Seymour; who, after his exclamation, turns away, unable to ſuſtain the anguiſh of mind he feels. Craig wholly abſorbed by his ſubject]
Seym.

Oh! Inſupportable!

Craig.

Ay!—Inſupportable indeed, to a mind like yours; even though but in imagination—What then will you feel, when you ſhall behold a form ſo lovely, ſo angelic, and innocence ſo unſuſpecting, deprived of reaſon; confined in a madhouſe; ſurrounded by miſerable objects; ſtraw, bread, water, and mercileſs keepers; who vainly attempt, with chains and ſcourges, to expel frenzy?

Seym.

Peace!

Craig.

Mr. Seymour?

Seym.
[53]

Silence! I ſay—Proceed no farther; if you would not have me act the ſcenes you mean to paint!

Craig.
(Alarmed)

I meant—

Seym.

Forbear!

[Exit: diſtractedly.
Craig.

It is ſtrange!—Is it imagination, or—?

(A knocking heard)

Come in!

SCENE IX. Enter Lady LOUISA COMPTON.

Lady L.

Is your name Craig, ſir?

Craig.

It is, madam.

Lady L.

Is your daughter within?

Craig.
(Looks round)

She was here this minute! Nannette!

SCENE X. Enter NANNETTE: haſtily with hat and cloak over her arm.

Nan.

Eh! Vat you vant?

Craig.

Where is Paulina?

Nan.

Je ne ſçais pas. She vas run out, und I am run after.

[Exit: in great haſte.

SCENE XI. CRAIG, Lady LOUISA.

Craig.

Nannette!—What is the matter with the woman?

Lady L.
(Aſide)

I fear all is not right! How ſhall I begin?—My buſineſs here, ſir, excuſe my frankneſs, is, if poſſible, to gain the friendſhip of you and your daughter.

Craig.
(Pauſing)

Your appearance ſpeaks rank, and the haughtieſt of the hackneyed anſwers of politeneſs would be, "Madam, you do us honour." But I—I once was—No matter. I am a painter: a worker in oils—but no fawner. Misfortune I [54] fear has made me a little peeviſh; perhaps a little proud, and—Friends?—I doubt we are not fitted to be friends.

Lady L.

Why not?—Mr. Seymour is my brother.

Craig.

Indeed!—Then you are a happy ſiſter.

Lady L.

Ah!—We all have our ſorrows: I have mine! You are above ceremony—I have a carriage waiting and a commiſſion from Lady Fancourt; an invitation to dine with us.

Craig.

Me?—Pardon me. I muſt not be exhibited. I know my diſtance, and I will keep it. No footman ſhall ſneer over my ſhoulder. No lady ſhall act civility to keep me from ſinking in her preſence. No lord ſhall put his half-dozen inſipid interrogatories, to convince me he has not quite forgotten I am of the ſpeaking ſpecies—A little ſore, here—I have been ſcourged—I once ſaw ſunſhine, afar off—Clouds! Clouds!

Lady L.

You love your art?

Craig.

With a burning zeal!

Lady L.

Then why deſpiſe to practice it?

Craig.

What! Genius labouring for ſcraps, and even they denied him? Miſery his attendant; priſons in proſpect; penury goading, famine gazing at him!—Beſide—my name is—Pſhaw! I'm a fool.

Lady L.
(Aſide)

I muſt ſpeak—Your daughter—

Craig.

Ay! There is the laſh—Yet, why? Ineſtimable girl! My heart is full of her image!

Lady L.

What pity it is parental joys ſhould be ſo frequently embittered!

Craig.

Never, here. No tyranny, no ſuſpicion, here. We know from whom we derive—Affection, expanſion of heart are our inmates: not trick, jealouſy, and concealment.

Lady L.
[55]
(Aſide)

How will he ſupport it?—There is one fatal, yet univerſal, intruder. Love—

Craig.

Diſturbs the peace of moſt fathers, but not mine. Were the daughter of Cam—Were my daughter in love, I ſhould be her firſt confidant.

Lady L.

And are you then ſo little read in the human heart, and its terrors; eſpecially the female heart?

Craig.
(Alarmed)

Do theſe queſtions point at me?

Lady L.

Be calm. Tell me; how would you act ſhould a young man of rank demand your daughter's hand?

Craig.

Refuſe him. Not but Paulina might unbluſhingly have placed her ſtool beſide the canopies of princes, had not I, her father, been unjuſtly forced to handle bruſhes!

Lady L.

And is that a ſtain?

Craig.

Indelible! So 'tis thought.

Lady L.

By prejudice and folly.

Craig.

Your brother is a youth of ten thouſand: I reſpect and love his virtues: yet, were even he to aſk my Paulina, he would meet a denial.

Lady L.

Sir!

Craig.

Shall I ſtand at humble diſtance in the preſence of him by whom I ought to be treated with paternal reſpect; and crouch, and bend, when it might become me to exert the influence of reaſon, that I might prevent or redreſs error; and thus meanly deſert both duty and ſelf-eſteem?—There are nobility of birth and nobility of heart: the former but few enjoy; the latter many a poor and many a neglected man, in common with myſelf, poſſeſs.

Lady L.

Well, ſir, poſſeſſing that nobility, the other is a trifling want.

Craig.

'Tis a want unknown to me: I am—

Lady L.
[56]

Sir?—

(Aſide)

One effort more—You are acquainted with Sir Gregory Oldwort?

Craig.
(Indignantly)

Forbear to mention him!—Your pardon!—His name is poiſon to me.

Lady L.

Why?

Craig.

Hateful! Tyrannical!

Lady L.

But why?

Craig.
(Proudly)

My name is Craig Campbell.

Lady L.

Heavens! Campbell!

Craig.

By marriage, I am his brother.

Lady L.

Amazement!

Craig.

'Tis eighteen years ſince laſt I ſaw him.

Lady L.

He is my uncle.

Craig.
(Pauſe)

And Seymour your brother?

Lady L.

Yes. Nay more the lover of—

Craig.

Whom?

Lady L.

Be firm.

Craig.

Speak!

Lady L.

Paulina.

Craig.

Thunder ſtrike!

SCENE XII. Enter NANNETTE: in great diſtreſs.

Nan.

Ah! Vhere is mit my maitreſſe; my Paulina? Vas ſhe not be come back?

Craig.
(With terror)

Is ſhe not within?

Nan.

Mon dieu, no! I am fear—! Mr. Seymour—

Craig.

How?

Nan.

I am ſee her run out; und I am run out too; und den ſhe is gone; und den I am be here, und be dere, und be every vhere, mitout I find her.

Craig.

A thouſand horrors ruſh upon me!—If Seymour have ſeduced my Paulina; have—Oh!

[Exit furiouſly.
Lady L.

Heavens! Mr. Campbell!

[Exit.
Nan.
[57]

Ah ma pauvre maitreſſe! Mine friend! Mine ſhile! Vat ſhall I vill do?

[Exit.

SCENE XIII. Changes to the Drawing-room of Lady FANCOURT:

Her ladyſhip ſeated at a table.
Lady F.

I cannot forget her! A form ſo intereſting, a mind ſo capacious, courage ſo chaſtened, yet ſo unconquerable—! And muſt they marry? Has ſhe no equal? Are riches, rank, and Lady Fancourt ſo poor a counterpoiſe? Marry? It muſt not, ſhall not—ought not to be.

(Noiſe without)
Servant.
(Without)

You muſt not, madam!

Pau.

I will! I will!

Lady F.

Bleſs me!

Pau.

Let me paſs! I will ſee her! I will!

SCENE XIV. Enter PAULINA: runs diſtractedly and throws herſelf at the feet of Lady FANCOURT.

Pau.

Hear me, madam! I'll never quit this place till you have heard have granted my prayer.

Lady F.

What does this mean?

Pau.

Reſtore him to me! Reſtore him to me!

Lady F.

Whom?

Pau.

My all! My heaven on earth! He is mine!—I am a wretched diſtracted creature; once the happieſt of women!

Lady F.

Forbear!

Pau.

You ſhall not go! He is mine! Saints and angels bear witneſs, he is mine! You have ſtolen him from me; deprived me of his heart; robbed me of the wealth of worlds!

Lady F.

Are you frantic?

Pau.
[58]

Would I were! But ſoon I ſhall be. Give me my Seymour!

Lady F.

I give?

Pau.

To take my life were little. Oh, madam, you are noble; your anceſtors no doubt were magnanimous; but is it noble, is it magnanimous, to rob a poor lunatic creature of the only treaſure ſhe has on earth?

Lady F.

Be calm.

Pau.

Calm! And loſe my Seymour? Never! Never! Madneſs is all I have to hope!

Lady F.

Riſe, I ſay! Leave me!

Pau.

I will not riſe; I will not quit this ſpot! What are your rights? Do they equal oaths, regiſtered in heaven? Are they as ſacred?

SCENE XV. Enter Lady LOUISA.

Lady L.

She is here! This muſt be her.

Lady F.

Inſufferable!—Relieve me, Lady Louiſa, from this frantic woman!

Pau.
(Wildly to Lady Louiſa)

Have you ſeen my Seymour?

Lady L.

You ſeem alarmed?

Lady F.

Never in my life was ſo aſſaulted; ſo overpowered! Pray look to her—Or call for aid—I cannot ſupport it.

[Exit.

SCENE XVI. Lady LOUISA, PAULINA.

Pau.

Do you know him? Hither I came to redemand my own! Here! Here they have robbed me of all that was moſt precious!

Lady L.

My dear girl, pray ſit down!

Pau.

If you know him, I charge you, in the name of all that is holy, reſtore him to me!

Lady L.
[59]

Be pacified; I promiſe you ſhall ſee him again.

Pau.

Do you promiſe?

Lady L.

I do.

Pau.

I ſhall ſee him?

Lady L.

Yes.

Pau.
(Half franticly)

Promiſe? Promiſe?—Promiſes are hourly broken! You are not man? You are not a promiſe-breaker?

Lady L.

Quiet this agitation: you ſhall ſee him.

Pau.

Then you are an angel ſent from heaven!

Lady L.

Mr. Seymour promiſed you marriage?

Pau.

Earth and heaven heard his oaths! I am ſure he loves me! No; he cannot be perjured! Cruel parents only can oppoſe our bliſs!

Lady L.

What if the marriage ſhould make him wretched?

Pau.

Impoſſible! Impoſſible! Do I not know how I ſhould cheriſh how I ſhould adore him; how I ſhould ſtudy day and night for his happineſs?—He tells me he has a generous ſiſter—Oh! Could I but ſee her; could I but ſpeak to her!

Lady L.

I am that ſiſter.

Pau.
(Falling on her knees and claſping her hands)

Mercy!—Mercy!—Oh, have mercy on a poor diſtracted wretch.

SCENE XVII. Enter CRAIG.

Craig.

Where is my child? Where is my Paulina?

Pau.
(Terrified ſinks on a ſopha)

My father's voice!

Craig.

Have I found thee? Come! Come to thy wretched father!

Lady L.

Be not too haſty, ſir!

Craig.
[60]

Deteſted be the arts that have ſeduced my child!

Lady L.

Paſſion may increaſe cannot correct error. Mr. Seymour—

Craig.

A father's malediction purſue him!

Pau.
(With ſudden and exceſſive energy)

Hear not, oh mercy omnipotent, hear not a father's curſe!

Lady L.

If you love your daughter, be patient. Her paſſions are not in a ſtate to be ſported with. 'Tis growing late; I will convey her home; ſleep will ſooth and reſtore her.

ACT V.

SCENE I. The Drawing-room of Lady FANCOURT.

SEYMOUR and Lady LOUISA: meeting.
Seym.

IS Lady Fancourt riſen?

Lady L.

Yes; and has enquired for you: appears much diſturbed, and reſolves again to viſit Paulina.

Seym.

For what purpoſe?

Lady L.

I wiſh I knew. Her ſurprize was great, and I fear painful, when ſhe heard of your relationſhip to Paulina. Dear girl! My heart yearns to her! You have ſeen her?

Seym.

Yes, laſt night.

Lady L.
[61]

And again pledged your fidelity?

Seym.

Oh, with ten thouſand new endearments! Do you blame me?

Lady L.

Blame? Noble-minded, much injured girl! Still I dread the unfeeling Sir Gregory.

Seym.

And I. But there is the ſtrangeſt accident—He yeſterday ſat for his picture to my uncle Campbell!

Lady L.

What without knowing each other?

Seym.

Yes: and is to ſit again this morning—But his motive!

Lady L.

What?

Seym.

I tremble to diſcover, yet am on the rack till I know. Be the conſequences what they will, I am determined rather to relinquiſh life than Paulina. I wiſh therefore to avoid Lady Fancourt, till her mind is more calm.

Lady L.

Away then. I will be ready, if any thing ſhould happen.

Seym.

I dread her, I dread my uncle, nay I dread Mr. Campbell. The proſpect before us is terrific; but we muſt on—Be it as it will, you ſhall ſhare my fortunes.

Lady L.

Generous Charles!

[Exeunt.

SCENE II. The Painting-room.

Sir GREGORY ſitting to CRAIG for his portrait.
Sir Greg.

Then you think the men of former ages were guilty of as great vices as thoſe of the preſent?

Craig.

Keep your mouth ſhut—Greater: but they did not make a ſyſtem of vice; they were hurried into it by their paſſions. Theirs were the crimes of men. There is a diſgraceful a contemptible meanneſs in the vices, as well as the perſons of [62] the preſent puny race; and neither their paſſions nor their bodies have ſufficient proweſs to make them commit acts, that can entitle them to reſpect.

Sir Greg.
(Riſes with animation)

If they fight a duel, it is not in the heat of anger, and deſire of revenge; but it is done with as much ceremony and civility as if they were going to walk a minuet, or ſip a diſh of tea: ay and as little danger, too; for, as they manage the matter, there is ten times more terror in a crabtree cudgel than in lead and ſteel.

Craig.

Why as to the merit, or virtue, of fighting duels, either in the old mode or the new, I believe we had better not talk of that.

Sir Greg.

The veſtiges of ancient independence are wearing away. It makes my very heart ache to ſee the poor remains of towers, that once defied the fury of tyrants, and the war of elements, lye mouldering in ruins.

Craig.

If we erect a building, now, it is in ſuch a light, frippery, unſubſtantial ſtyle, that a piſtol bullet would demoliſh it. A caſtle of cobwebs, ſpun in July, and bruſhed away in November.

Sir Greg.

Sir, you are a man of ſenſe.

Craig.

And, as to our commerce, we have poiſoned the people with our teas, ſpices, and ſpirits. We ſend to China for pipkins, to Hudſon's Bay for cat's ſkins, to Venice for window alias vice blinds, and to Leghorn for toothpicks and fiddleſtrings: and, that the lower part of the community may not have the power to reproach and deſpiſe their leaders, vice, diſeaſe, and deſtruction are imported in ſhip loads, and parceled out in pennyworths.

Sir Greg.

Sir, your converſation pleaſes me. Hem! When will your daughter be within?

Craig.

Preſently, preſently.

Sir Greg.
[63]

I ſhould be glad to ſee if ſhe be as handſome as you have painted her.

Craig.

Painted! Where are the colours that can equal Paulina?

Sir Greg.

Hay! Is her name Paulina?

Craig.

Certainly. Why not?

Sir Greg.

Huſh! Did not I hear a noiſe?—Have you many viſitors?

Craig.

Very few. I have not been long in England.

Sir Greg.

Where does that door go to?

Craig.

My daughter's bedroom.

Sir Greg.

I don't chooſe to be ſeen. If any body ſhould come, I'll ſtep in there.

Craig.

Will you? You muſt aſk my leave, firſt.

Sir Greg.

I wiſh ſhe would come! I am quite impatient to ſee her.

Craig.

Indeed! He's a whimſical old fellow.

Sir Greg.
(Liſtening and ſuſpecting)

Hay?—No—Nothing—If ever you ſhould meet me in the ſtreet, take no notice of me.

Craig.

Notice you! Sir, I notice no man who is unwilling to notice me.

(A loud rapping at the ſtreet door)
Sir Greg.

Oh, the devil!—Who's there?—Quick! Quick! My hat, and cloak!

Craig.

Does he think I am his footman?

Sir Greg.

I would not be ſeen for a thouſand pounds! Can't you let me in there?

Craig.

I tell you, no.

Sir Greg.

Have you no back way?

Craig.

Back!—What do you take us for; coiners, or courtiers? We dare daylight; and, though poor, look the world in the face.

SCENE III. Enter MUSCADEL.

[64]
Muſc.

'Sdeath, miſter, what dark ſtairs you have!

Craig.

If you had ſent me notice of your coming, ſir, I would have had them lighted.

Muſc.

Anon! What were you pleaſed to remark, miſter?

(Seeing Sir Gregory, in his cloak and ſlouched hat)

What ſtrange animal have we here?—I think I have ſomewhere ſeen ſuch an apparition before!

(Walks round and ſurveys Sir Gregory)

I beg your pardon, miſter!

(Sir Gregory feigns a violent cough, and pulls his hat cloſer over his eyes)
Craig.

Are you ill, ſir?

Muſc.
(Laying hold of him)

Ay, are you ill, ſir?

(Sir Gregory twiſts himſelf angrily from Muſcadel and continues coughing)
Sir Greg.
(Aſide, to Mr. Craig)

I'll wait below, in Mrs. Wilkins' parlour, till he is gone.

[Exit.
Craig.

As you pleaſe, ſir.

SCENE IV. CRAIG and MUSCADEL.

Muſc.
(Viewing the portrait)

So, ſo! My old friend, Sir Gregory!—Tolerably hit off, egad.

(To Craig)

Why, you ſeem to have a knack, miſter—

Craig.
(Offended)

Sir! I am not uſed to ſuch freedoms!

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Impertinent and tetchy! I'll play him off.

(Aloud)

I ſay, miſter—What is your name?

Craig.

My name, ſir, is Craig.

Muſc.
(Examining the picture)

A very common name, in Wales.

Craig.

Scotland, you mean.

Muſc.
[65]

I like your manner: you ſhall take me, miſter—Jones.

Craig.
(Increaſing anger)

My name is Craig.

Muſc.

You are right. But I will be taken in profile, miſter—Jones.

Craig.

Sir, I ſaid Craig.

Muſc.

Yes, there was Jones of Flintſhire, colonel of the Welch Fuzileers: very much of a gentleman, and ruined more farmer's daughters than any ten men in the regiment. I ſuppoſe you are his natural ſon, miſter—Jones.

Craig.
(Enraged)

Sir!—I know nothing of Jones, Flintſhire colonels, or Welch Fuzileers: my name is—

Muſc.

True. And ſo the colonel put you to a painter? A ſlight premium, and a quick riddance. He managed his pleaſures with economy.

Craig.

Is he mad, or deaf?—I am afraid, ſir, I did not ſpeak loud enough! My name is Craig! I never—

Muſc.
(Stopping his ears and ſtaring at him)

I know it, miſter—Jones. The colonel told me the whole ſtory. Your mother was the daughter of a Denbighſhire drover, who dealt largely in potatoes, pigs, and poultry. A deviliſh handſome huſſey! The colonel was fond of her, brought her to town, and for a whole winter cut a high figure with her.

Craig.

With my mother, ſir?

Muſc.

She was the belle of the day, miſter—Jones. She had my approbation, and I had a penchant for her myſelf.

Craig.

For my mother, ſir?

Muſc.

The colonel was never married, but I have known ſeveral of his natural children, and they were all geniuſes. So you ſhall take my profile, miſter—Jones.

Craig.

I have a great mind to knock him down!

Muſc.
[66]

Apropos. Have not you a ſmart kind of a daughter, miſter—

Craig.
(Continued paſſion)

Jones. Yes.

Muſc.

Ha!—Tolerably handſome

(Turning his back)

and well grown, miſter—

Craig.
(Turning back to back)

Jones. Yes.

Muſc.
(Turning half round)

You have been bred to a pretty profeſſion, miſter—!

Craig.
(Turning to face him)

Jones. No.

Muſc.
(Taking ſnuff and ſtaring)

An't pleaſe you—?

Craig.

I WAS BRED TO THE MOST USELESS, AND OFTEN THE MOST WORTHLESS, OF ALL PROFESSIONS; THAT OF A GENTLEMAN. *

Muſc.

Gadſo, miſter—!

Craig.

I ſuſpect you have been bred to the ſame. So you will get your profile taken by whom you pleaſe, except by me, miſter—

Muſc.
(Singing)

La, la, la, la, la. The drapory is tolerable.

SCENE V. Enter PAULINA and NANNETTE.

Craig.

There's the door, ſir.

Muſc.

La, la, la, la, la. The colouring not amiſs.

Pau.

You ſeem ruffled, ſir?

Craig.

Do you ſee that biped, Paulina?

Pau.

Sir!

Craig.

That thing pretends to have had an amour with my mother!

Muſ.

Ha, ha!

(Turning his glaſs to Paulina)

Upon my honour!

Craig.

The moſt impenetrable coxcomb—!

Muſc.
[67]

Infinitely beyond my expectations!

Craig.

Firſt baptizing and then baſtardizing me!

Muſc.

She is really ſtriking!

Craig.

A fop!—I would toſs him out of the window—! There's another odd fellow below, who is waiting to ſee you.

Pau.

Me, ſir?

Nan.
(Aſide to Paulina)

C'eſt lui.

Muſc.
(Aſide)

What's this? Some ſecret? Seymour, I ſuppoſe.

Pau.

Who is he, ſir?

Craig.

I don't know.

Nan.
(Aſide to Paulina, Muſcadel liſtening)

Mon dieu! 'Tis dee Chevalier Oldvort! C'eſt l'oncle!

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Hay! Oldwort! Uncle!

Craig.

He won't tell his name. I am afraid his conſcience is none of the beſt, he is ſo fearful of being ſeen, or known.

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Yes, yes; 'tis Sir Gregory! The old fox!

Craig.

I'll ſend him up to you.

(Turning to Muſcadel)

Come, ſir.

Muſc.
(Eying the pictures)

La, la, la, la, la.

Pau.

I will go to him, ſir.

Craig.

No, no—

(Louder)

Miſter—Jones!

Muſc.

La, la, la, la, la.

Craig.
(very loud)

This way if you pleaſe, miſter—Jones.

Muſc.
(Aſide)

The fellow is determined; but I'll give him the ſlip. I'll know what's going on. La, la, la, la, la. Your very humble—miſter—

Craig.

Jones.

[Exeunt Craig and Muſcadel.

SCENE VI. PAULINA, NANNETTE.

Pau.

Why am I thus agitated? Too much al ready I have been the creature of paſſion; ſhaken by terror, actuated by ſelf. Oh! 'Tis unworthy! Yet ſtill and ſtill my fears ſubdue my better reaſon!

Nan.
[68]

I am vill be ſo happy! L'oncle come and make a lofe mit you, und you make a lofe mit die oncle, c'eſt tout naturel, und den! Ah! je ſuis extaſié!

Pau.

My mother's perſecutor and my father's bitter foe: ſhould I ſo remember him? That were unjuſt. What he is, not what he has been, is the true queſtion. But there's the doubt! Why does he ſeek me? With what intent? He knows not who I am! Appearances are all ſuſpicious! Yet why this culpable propenſity to condemn unheard? 'Tis pernicious! 'Tis hateful! Why not hope the beſt?

Nan.

He come! Retirez vous un moment: vite, vite!

[Exeunt.

SCENE VII. Enter MUSCADEL: peeping.

Muſc.

So, ſo! There they go! I may chance to make ſome notable diſcoveries here. If they would but ſerve me with Lady Fancourt!—She has uſed me vilely! But no matter—Time has produced ſtrange things, and may again—This Sir Gregory! The old poacher! His portrait the pretence! The rival of his nephew! Yet as cynical ſupercilious and ſurly as if he were a ſaint.

(Liſtens)

He is coming

(Looking round)

Why, ay; theſe pictures are moſt convenient hiding places.

(Muſcadel goes behind pictures)

SCENE VIII. Enter Sir GREGORY: with his cloak and hat on, firſt looking in, then advancing cautiouſly.

Sir Greg.

Hey dey! Here is nobody here!

(Tries Paulina's door)
Muſc.
(Aſide)

Yes but there is.

Sir Greg.

Locked faſt.

(Returns to the entrance door and calls)

Miſs!—Young lady!—I am afraid [69] this painting room is too public. I am glad I eſcaped that fop Muſcadel.

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Very well!

Sir Greg.

He is a moſt vain, impertinent, prating coxcomb.

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Mighty well!

Sir Greg.

With leſs underſtanding than an owl by daylight.

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Go on!

Sir Greg.

More impudence than a croſs-examining lawyer.

Muſc.
(Aſide)

That's a lie, however.

Sir Greg.

And as many antics as a dancing dog.

Muſc.
(Aſide)

You ſhall pay for this!

Sir Greg.
(Calling, yet afraid of being heard)

Mrs. Wilkins!—I would not have been diſcovered by him for a kingdom!

Muſc.
(Aſide)

I'll tickle you!

Sir Greg.

I hope I run no riſk here. Malicious tongues are always buſy; and a good character is like a gameſter's money, very difficult to keep, and when loſt ſtill more difficult to regain—Miſs!

(Calling)

—Here's ſomebody!

(Hurries on his cloak)

SCENE IX. Enter PAULINA.

Pau.
(Aſide)

Yet, not yet firm! Still in trepidation.

Sir Greg.

'Tis ſhe!

Pau.

My father told me—

Sir Greg.
(Throwing off his cloak)

She's an angel! An angel!

(Shuts the door)
Pau.

Bad, bad!

Sir Greg.

Hem! Young lady—What carnation in her cheeks!—I have done myſelf the honour to [70] —That is, Mrs. Wilkins—

(Continually turning to watch the entrance door).
Pau.
(Aſide)

My fears are too true!

Sir G.

The fineſt eyes I ever beheld!

Muſc.
(Peeping)

The old ſinner!

Sir Greg.

I have an ambition to be better acquainted with you.

Pau.
(Aſide)

Fie! What looks! Alas, thus the little hope I had is flown.

Sir Greg.

What paſſion in her features! What modeſty! I love modeſty.

Muſc.
(Aſide)

As a hawk does a dove, to be the death of it.

Sir Greg.

You are a moſt ſweet enchanting girl, and I hope you have a compaſſionate boſom.

Pau.
(Aſide)

How tenfold ugly is vice coupled with age!

Sir Greg.

I'm ſure you have—Won't you ſpeak to me?

Muſc.
(Aſide)

The carnal old coaxer!

Pau.
(Aſide)

My recollection fails me! How ſhould I anſwer him? Ought hoary ſeduction like this to paſs unreproved?

Sir Greg.

Don't be abaſhed. You can't think how kind I will be to you!

(Muſcadel in moving throws down a picture)

What's that?

(Snatching up his cloak)
Pau.

Oh what an eternal tormentor is a guilty conſcience!

Sir Greg.

I ſee nothing!—Perhaps it was that picture?

(Putting down his cloak)

Ay! I will be ſo kind! I will dandle you, and fondle you, and fold you to my arms; ay, and wrap you in my very heart!

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Like a diamond in wool, egad.

Sir Greg.

Do you think you could feel any partiality in favour of a middle aged gentleman, like me?

Pau.
[71]
(Aſide)

He is my uncle. What then? Can relationſhip change the eternal eſſence of virtue? What are perſons? Guilt is ever guilt, and ever odious.

Sir Greg.

What elegance of form!—If I could but have the happineſs to win and wind myſelf into your affections

(Taking hold of her hand)
Pau.

Forbear!

Sir Greg.

Madam!

Muſc.
(Aſide)

So, ſo!

Pau.

What? You! At theſe years! You! The inflexible perſecutor of venial errors; indulging deſtructive and hateful paſſions of your own, ſelfwilled inexorable and cruel to the very virtues of others; ſternly robing yourſelf in the tyrannous authority of cuſtom, forgetting the beneficence of juſtice—

Sir Greg.

Why?

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Heydey!

Pau.

Were theſe, meanwhile, your ſecret practices? I came eagerly wiſhing to have called you by the endearing name of uncle!

Sir Greg.

Madam!

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Uncle?

Pau.

My heart beat high with the hope that age had increaſed your wiſdom, that your affections were ſoftened, and that you were become the friend of the unfortunate, the guide of the feeble, and the conſolation of the fallen.

Sir Greg.

Uncle?

Pau.

No—Here all ſuch claims end. Henceforth they are forgotten. Farewell. There is no relationſhip between us.

[Exit.

SCENE X. Sir GREGORY, and MUSCADEL.

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Very odd.

Sir Greg.

I'm in amaze—'Tis unaccountable— [72] Relationſhip!—Uncle!—Siſter!

(Muſcadel purpoſely throws down the eaſel)

Mercy on me!—Let me begone.

(Puts on his cloak and hat)

Her diſcourſe was very ſtrange—It has petrified me!

(Going)

I wiſh I was ſafe at home!

Muſc.

Sir Gregory!

Sir Greg.

Bleſs my ſoul!—What's that?

Muſc.

Sir Gregory!

Sir Greg.

Am I bewitched?

(Sees Muſcadel and begins to cough)
Muſc.

Stop, ſtop, baronet! Coughing won't do: you can't eſcape this time.

(Running and ſeizing him)
Sir Greg.

I muſt beg, ſir—!

Muſc.

Come, come, unmaſk!

Sir Greg.

I inſiſt, ſir—!

Muſc.

Oh! What you won't know me?

SCENE XI. Enter Mrs. WILKINS: in a fright.

Mrs. W.

Oh lord, Sir Gregory! What ſhall we do?

Sir Greg.

What's the matter, woman? Is there an earthquake? I was half terrified to death before; would you kill me quite?

Mrs. W.

Dear me! Here's Lady Fancourt again!

Sir Greg.

What?

Muſc.

How?

Mrs. W.

As true as I am a woman!

Sir Greg.

Let me begone!

Mrs. W.

Oh lord! You can't, Sir Gregory: ſhe is ſpeaking at the ſtairfoot with Miſs Paulina, and they are coming up in a moment.

Sir Greg.

What will become of me? Don't betray me, Mr. Muſcadel!

(Extreme trepidation)

For heaven's ſake, don't betray me!

Muſc.
[73]

Follow my example; hide behind theſe pictures. There's your own placed ready for the purpoſe.

Mrs. W.

She is bringing Miſs Paulina up here, to talk with her.

Muſc.

Ah, ha! I ſhall be glad to ſee how her ladyſhip's jealouſy works

(Goes up to Sir Gregory)

Are you ſafe?

Sir Greg.
(Peeping)

Be true to me; don't diſcover me and I'll be your everlaſting friend. I'll bring you into parliament: you ſhall ſit for my vacant borough.

Muſc.

Cloſe, cloſe!

(Coming forward)

I know you, Mammon! You will tell a different tale tomorrow. I'm a coxcomb, am I? I'll puniſh you!

Mrs. W.

This way, your ladyſhip!

SCENE XII. Enter Lady FANCOURT followed by PAULINA.

[Exit Mrs. Wilkins.
Lady F.

Can you gainſay it?

Pau.

I have done you, madam, no intentional wrong.

Lady F.

No wrong? Have you not convinced me, in my own deſpite, that riches, rank, and power are feeble arms, oppoſed to the energies of mind and virtue?

Muſc.
(Behind)

How?

Lady F.

I, who thought not meanly of myſelf, have you not proved you are my ſuperiour: and is that no wrong?

Pau.

Madam!

Lady F.

Perſecuted by fate, nurtured in diſtreſs, educated in obſcurity, deprived of reſources that had been laviſhed upon me, have you not diſplayed qualities, which, how can I hope to equal?

Pau.
[74]

Dear lady!

Lady F.

Ineſtimable girl! You can make me only one amends—Think kindly of me and accept me for your admiring your dear your eternal friend!

(Embrace)
Muſc.

Upon my honour it is incredible, but here they are!

(Wiping his eyes and looking for the tears)
Pau.

From the firſt moment, my heart did you juſtice: it acknowledged your noble virtues—I will affect no inferiority of rank, for I feel none; but to call myſelf your equal in what alone is valuable—? I dare not!

Muſc.
(Advancing)

Have you no hartſhorn, Lady Fancourt?

Lady F.

Mr. Muſcadel!

Muſc.

Here I am. Like ſilence, I come when I am not called—I thought I had had enough of the dolefuls; but here do you come, as it were on purpoſe, to give me a double doſe.

Lady F.

Have you been very ſorrowful?

Muſc.

As wretched, for theſe four and twenty hours, as a poet who has left off rhyming—As melancholy as a blind monkey.

Lady F.
(Not pleaſed)

Very pathetic, truly!

Muſc.
(Changing his tone)

Lady Fancourt, ſhall I tell you a ſecret? The only reſource I have had, againſt feelings the moſt acute and thoughts the moſt racking, has been levity that was but affected, and indifference that was all forced.

Lady F.

Mr. Muſcadel—I have not uſed you well

(Holding out her hand)
Muſc.
(Seizing and kiſſing it)

Raptures!

SCENE XIII. Enter Lady LOUISA.

Pau.
(Eagerly)

Dear madam, where is my father; where is my—couſin? Are they friends?

Lady L.
[7]

You will rejoice to ſee how truly!

Lady F.

But where is Sir Gregory?

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Hay?

Lady L.

Charles has been home, but he is not there.

Muſc.
Aſide)

I'm a lucky dog!

Lady L.

By converſing with my brother, Mr. Campbell has diſcovered that he has been here.

Muſc.
(Aſide)

Yes; and is here ſtill.

Lady L.

'Tis well Mr. Campbell does not ſuſpect on what errand!

Muſc.
(Aſide to Sir Gregory)

Hem!

Lady F.

The licentiouſneſs of his practice makes his ſeverity doubly odious.

Muſc.

Take care what you ſay; he will hear you.

Lady F.

I wiſh he could!

Muſc.

Nay, he is in the room!

Lady F.

Where?

Muſc.
(Pointing to the portrait)

There!

Lady F.

Pſhaw! Come my ſweet Paulina

(Going)
Muſc.

Nay but you muſt not go till you have ſeen the pictures. I aſſure you, here are ſome very excellent originals, in the room!

(Sir Gregory occaſionally peeps and ſupplicates by ſigns)
Lady F.

Ay?

Muſc.

You have never ſeen a finer exhibition.

Lady L.

Indeed!

Muſc.

Or a more pleaſant one.

Lady F.

I ſee nothing extraordinary.

Muſc.

Oh but follow me and you ſhall ſee! You know theſe, Lady Louiſa?

(Holding up the cloak and hat of Sir Gregory)
Lady L.

It ſeems like my uncle's cloak!

Muſc.

That's a trifle! You ſhall ſee more preſently.

(Removes a picture)

How do you like that?

Lady F.

It ſeems very good.

Muſc.
(Removing another).

And that?

Lady F.

Indeed I am no judge.

Muſc.
[76]
(Removing a third)

And that?

Lady F.

Better than the laſt.

Muſc.

Ay but here! Here's the beſt of all!

(Diſcovering Sir Gregory)
Lady L.

Ah!

Lady F.

Ah!

Lady L.

Heaven preſerve me!

Lady F.

Sir Gregory?

Muſc.

There's an exhibition for you! There's nature! There's life! There's expreſſion!—Shall I have the borough, Sir Gregory?

Sir Greg.

I hope you'll have a halter!

Lady F.

Why, Sir Gregory, is this the way you ſit for your portrait?

Muſc.

Ay! Is not the attitude ſtriking? Graceful as a baboon on the back of a bear!

Lady F.

This is very extraordinary! Pray tell us—

Muſc.

Sir Gregory has been at his needle work.

Sir Greg.

I wiſh you had been at the devil!

Muſc.

I'm a fop, an owl, a dancing dog, hay, Sir Gregory?

Sir Greg.

You are as great a cut-throat—!

Muſc.

As cold water in winter.

Lady F.

And I hope as wholeſome a one, too.

Lady L.
(To Lady Fancourt)

This is the moment for reconciliation! I will go down for my brother and uncle.

Lady F.

A lucky thought! Do.

[Exit Lady Louiſa.

SCENE XIV. Sir GREGORY, MUSCADEL, Lady FANCOURT, PAULINA.

Sir Greg.

Stay, niece; I'll go with you.

(Going)
Lady F.

No, no, Sir Gregory; we can't ſpare you. Mr. Muſcadel!

Muſc.
[77]

Ay, ay; I'll guard the door.

Lady F.

I find then, my dear Paulina, you have ſeen your uncle before?

Muſc.

Yes; the knight introduced himſelf: ‘and faith ſhe read him a very pretty lecture: though egad her ſtyle was a little myſterious, for ſhe ſeemed able to give the whole ſcandalous chronicle of your private life—hay, Baronet?’

Sir Greg.

‘Would ſhe had given yours!’

Muſc.

‘Oh I defy her and the whole world. I am the carver of my own character, and cut it up neatly and accurately myſelf, that Malice may be out of countenance when ſhe attempts to hack it.’—Come; ſhall I help you on with your cloak?

Sir Greg.

Curſe my cloak—

(Aſide)

And you too!

Lady F.

Sir Gregory has no more need of a cloak,

Muſc.

Egad that's true. Come, come, cheer up, knight: this is the luckieſt day of your life; for, now you have loſt your character, you may ſtare the world in the face, and ſin hereafter without caution.

Pau.
(To Muſcadel)

Pardon me, ſir, but I muſt intreat you to forbear. Who among us but errs? To oppreſs the oppreſſed would be malice, not juſtice.

Muſc.

Do you hear?

Sir Greg.

Yes, I do hear!

Muſc.

And do you not bluſh a little?

Sir Greg.

Perhaps I do that too.

Pau.

Let me, ſir, intreat your forgiveneſs; I am the cauſe of this: I behaved ill; I left you indignantly inſtead of remonſtrating with candour, and indulged reſentment when I ought to have exerted [78] benevolence. But I am young and ſhall know better in time.

Sir Greg.

You are a miracle! And I am aſhamed of myſelf.

Muſc.

Belial I find has a ſpark of grace left.

Lady F.

Incomparable Paulina!

Pau.

Will you not forgive me, Sir?

Sir Greg.

I cannot forgive myſelf, child.

Muſc.

For having been found out.

Sir Greg.

Be as happy, not as you deſerve, but as I can make you.

Pau.
(Kneels)

Oh, ſir—!

Sir Greg.

Riſe, Paulina, riſe.

SCENE XV. Enter SEYMOUR, CRAIG CAMPBELL, and Lady LOUISA.

Seym.

My life!

Running into each other's arms.
Pau.

My Seymour!

Seym.

My ſoul!

Pau.

Art thou mine? Art thou mine?

Seym.

Everlaſtingly!

Craig.
(To Sir Gregory)

Sir!

Lady F.

Huſh! No frowning.

Sir Greg.

Recrimination is no cure. I muſt abjure my prejudices; do you ſuffer your reſentments to ſleep. Henceforth let us be friends.

Craig.

Nay, if generoſity, mutual friendſhip, and free equal intercourſe be your purpoſe, Craig Campbell, though a painter and a hireling, will do you no ſhame.

Lady L.

I then at laſt am the only outcaſt—Will you not pardon me, ſir?

Sir Greg.

Yes, yes; all is forgotten.

Muſc.

How kind your moody rulers are, when once their own rogueries are de [...]ected—

(To Lady Fancourt)

Muſt we not ſympathize with the reſt [79] and be as happy as we can?

(Tenderly)

Muſt we not?

Lady F.
(Smiling)

Why would you, now you have been my confidant, would you dangle after me again?

Muſc.

Moſt willingly. Like the beaſts after Orpheus—You have a muſeum of them, and I am the moſt admired monſter in the collection.

Lady F.

You are a pleaſant animal.

Pau.

Why this is true delight—Love, friendſhip, and benevolence, catching and ſpreading from mind to mind, from heart to heart; modeling the young, melting the old, and harmonizing all. May the principle and the practice become univerſal!

[Exeunt Omnes.
Notes
*
See Preface.
Distributed by the University of Oxford under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License

Citation Suggestion for this Object
TextGrid Repository (2020). TEI. 4143 Love s frailties a comedy in five acts as performed at the Theatre Royal Covent Garden By Thomas Holcroft. University of Oxford Text Archive. . https://hdl.handle.net/21.T11991/0000-001A-619B-8