[][]

THE MAGIC PICTURE, A PLAY.

[ALTERED FROM MASSINGER.]

BY THE REV. H. BATE.

—Beware of JEALOUSY!
It is a green-ey'd Monſter, which doth mock
The meat it feeds on!—
SHAKESPEAR.

LONDON: Printed for T. and J. EGERTON, Charing-croſs; T. DAVIES, Ruſſell-ſtreet, Covent-garden; KEARSLEY, Fleet-ſtreet; E. MACKLEW, Haymarket; and R. BALDWIN, Paternoſter-row, 1783. PRICE ONE SHILLING AND SIXPENCE.

DEDICATION. TO JOHN STRUTT, ESQ. MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT FOR MALDON.

[]
DEAR SIR,

MY admiration of your unfeigned patriotiſm, was not excited, but confirmed by that ſingular, and manly inſtance, which made you revered by all, who could feel for the tarniſhed glory of their country!—To that public virtue in the individual I eſteem, this Play is diſintereſtedly inſcribed.—

I am, Sir, With great truth and regard, Your ſincere, and Obedient ſervant H. BATE.

ADVERTISEMENT.

[]

TO prepare MASSINGER'S Tragi-Comedy, THE PICTURE, for a modern entertainment, proved a more arduous taſk than was at firſt conceived. After giving a different turn to the drama, by making the changes of the Picture, the effects of Eugenius's jealouſy, inſtead of the magic art of Baptiſta, and expunging the groſs indelicacies which overran the play, it was found that moſt of the characters required a little freſh modelling to complete the deſign of the preſent undertaking. Hence the neceſſity of new-writing no inconſiderable part of the dialogue, in imitation of the old Dramatiſt. Though enamoured with the beauties of the antique ſtructure, the Alterer ſet about its reparation with the utmoſt diſſidence, fearing, like an unſkilful architect, he might deſtroy thoſe venerable features he could not improve! What has been his ſucceſs, the public deciſion muſt determine.

The ſame kind of irregular and broken meaſure, through neceſſity ſtill prevails, except where the language could be reduced to the heroic verſe without impairing the ſpirit of the dialogue.

[] As to the unities,—being ſo totally diſregarded by MASSINGER himſelf, no uſe could poſſibly be made of them in the preſent alteration.

The performance of the MAGIC PICTURE was every thing that an Author could expect, or wiſh for. The friendſhip and liberality of Mr. HARRIS were zealouſly exerted on the occaſion. Mr. SHIELD aided it with his harmonic powers; and every performer, by a well ſuſtained character, united in it's ſupport: but Miſs YOUNGE'S SOPHIA was too ſtriking a repreſentation not to demand a particular acknowledgment.—To this fortunate combination of talents, THE MAGIC PICTURE chiefly ſtands indebted for the very flattering reception with which it has been honored!

PROLOGUE,
Spoken by Mr. AICKIN, in the Character of the Ghoſt of MASSINGER.

[]
[A Bell tolls.]
REGARDLESS of yon bell, which ſtrikes mine ear,
I, troubled ſhade of Maſſinger, appear!—
[Ghoſt riſes.
What frenzy cou'd impel the daring thought,
To ſeize the PIECE my lab'ring fancy wrought?
The PICTURE glowing with ſelected dies?
O 'tis a deed to make a Spirit riſe!
But why ſhou'd I meet favor from an age,
That martyrs even Shakeſpear in its rage?
How late had princely Hamlet cauſe to rave!—
Depriv'd of clowns to dig Ophelia's grave!
Where was the ſkull, whoſe fate remembrance wept?
And where the turf, on which poor Yorick ſlept?
By temp'rance ſooth'd, each murmur here ſhall end:
'Tis dang'rous with a Gownſman to contend;—
One, charter'd over ſpirits giv'n to riot,
Whoſe pow'r can lay me in the Red-ſea quiet!
For now I'm quite bereft of Magic arms;
And what could Merlin do without his charms!
The Sorc'rers art is loſt—And yet this age
Exceeds the feats of Royal James's * page!
He wrote of wizzards viſiting the moon;—
But what are broomſticks to an air balloon!
Not all the ſcenes, deſcrib'd by Taſſo's verſe,
Where Daemons met, their rituals to rehearſe,
Could match the horrors of that crimſon day,
When ELLIOT'S machinations were at play!
And the Enchanter, CURTIS, whirl'd amain,
By ſpells of fire, the batteries of Spain!
[]
But ſoft!—The brazen voice of War is mute;
And ſounds of Peace are heard in each ſalute!
View me, then, as an herald of her way;
And in this wreath, the olive crown ſurvey!
Bend with obedience to her ſoft'ning ſtrains;
Nor arm againſt poor Maſſinger's remains!

Dramatis Perſonae.

EUGENIUS
Mr. WROUGHTON.
LADISLAUS
Mr. WHITFIELD.
EUBULUS
Mr. CLARKE.
BAPTISTA
Mr. HULL.
FERDINAND
Mr. DAVIES.
UBALDO
Mr. EDWIN.
RICARDO
Mr. WILSON.
HILLARIO
Mr. QUICK.
HONORIA
Mrs. BATES.
CORISCA
Mrs. WILSON.
ACANTHE
Miſs PLATT.
SOPHIA
Miſs YOUNGE.

COURTIERS, MASQUES, RUFFIANS, &c.

[] THE MAGIC PICTURE.

ACT I.

SCENE I.

The Curtain riſing, diſcovers HILLARIO aſleep at the foot of an old Oak.
Enter CORISCA.
CORISCA.
HILLARIO! ariſe, I ſay!
Nor any longer let the laughing ſun
Imprint a burning ſhame upon thy forehead.
[HILLARIO riſes.
Look, if you are a man, and ſee their tender parting:
What ſighs and countleſs kiſſes they've exchang'd,
And full as quick as my poor heart repeats 'em.
HILLARIO.
You ſhould be let blood Coriſca!
Love's raging fever is abroad, my girl:
Let's feel thy pulſe! one, two, three, four!
Ay, galloping like mad, as I ſuſpected!
Why, thou haſt all the ſymptoms of the malady!
CORISCA.
[2]
[Placing his hand on his forehead.
Count there, my buſy Doctor, and you'll find
The pulſe of folly wildly beat! for ſhame!
Thou wert not wont, Hillario, to be blind:
I marvel, would you proſper in the world,
That you your betters do not imitate.
[Pointing behind to EUGENIUS and SOPHIA.
HILLARIO.
Imitation! 'tis but a ſcurvy buſineſs at the beſt,
And in kiſſing it ſavours ſtill more vilely,
Lacking the ſpirit that ſhould keep it warm.
CORISCA.
Peace, they approach!
HILLARIO.
Mute as a pickled ſturgeon.
Enter EUGENIUS (in a warlike habit) and SOPHIA.
EUGENIUS.
Since we muſt part, my love, farther to paſs
Is not alone unwiſe, but even dangerous;
For on yon frontier height, the Turkiſh camp
Extends 'twixt us and the Hungarian line:
Be now diſcreet as ever, and pr'ythee wed
Thy underſtanding to thy conſtant patience!
SOPHIA.
You put it to the utmoſt trial now.
[Weeping.
EUGENIUS.
Nay, no melting;
For the neceſſity that thus divides us,
Full oft have we recounted, and the cauſe
Waſh'd with our blended tears.
SOPHIA.
If bleſt the hour that ratified our union,
How can Eugenius leave me?
EUGENIUS.
[3]
Not as ſome think, for mere deſire of fame,
Or to be cry'd up by the public voice
For a brave ſoldier, do I appear in arms:
Such airy humours ſtrike not me: Alas!
Too well thou know'ſt, with what a ſcanty hand
Fortune has dealt out our demeans; 'tis ſhe
Enjoins it.
SOPHIA.
In you alone, my lord,
I've all abundance!
EUGENIUS.
In your own language I would anſwer you,
For thou haſt been a right obedient wife:
And to my power (tho' ſhort of your deſert)
I hope I have not fail'd in th' indulgent huſband.
We have long enjoy'd the ſweets of love;
Yet, my Sophia,
We muſt not live ſuch dotards in our pleaſures,
As ſtill to hug them to a certain loſs.
SOPHIA.
Have you in me
Found any ſign of diſcontent, my lord?
EUGENIUS.
No my Sophia,
Nor ſhalt thou e'er have reaſon to repent
Thy conſtant courſe in goodneſs, if heav'n ſmile
Upon my honeſt undertakings. 'Tis for thee
That I turn ſoldier, and cheerfully embark
Upon this ſea of action, there to trade
For rich materials; nobly to adorn
Thy lovely perſon; and to th' admiring world
Diſplay it in full luſtre. Oft I've bluſh'd
That other ladies, inferior ev'n in beauty
And outward form, but in the harmony
[4] Of the ſoul's raviſhing muſic not to be nam'd
With thee, in ſplendour ſhould outſhine thee,
While you, devoid of theſe, paſt unregarded.
SOPHIA.
If I'm ſo rich in your opinion, why for me
Would you additions borrow?
EUGENIUS.
Why? Should I not be juſtly cenſured
Of ignorance, poſſeſſing ſuch a jewel
Above all price, if I forbore to give it
The beſt of ornaments? Therefore, Sophia,
In few words, know my pleaſure, and as briefly
As you have ever done, obey me; to your diſcretion
I leave the government of my family,
And our poor fortunes: to the uttermoſt
Of what is mine, live plentifully,
And ere the remnant of our ſtore be ſpent,
I hope, with my good ſword, to reap for you
A harveſt, that ſhall make a merry winter.
SOPHIA.
Since you are not
To be by me diverted from your purpoſe,
Go when you pleaſe, my poor impatient ſoul
Muſt follow after you. To tell you,
What in your abſence I will do, would ſhew
But poorly; my actions beſt will ſpeak it.—
It were to doubt your love, ſhould I requeſt
That I might hear from you; but by night or day,
No courier, unexamin'd, ſhall paſs by.—
Adieu!
[throwing herſelf in his arms.
If thus within your arms I dwell too long,
Think of the cruel faſt that muſt ſucceed
This ſhort dear feaſt, and you'll excuſe it.
Pray turn from me, all that I can is ſpoken!
[Exit SOPHIA.
EUGENIUS.
[5]
Follow thy miſtreſs ſtrait, Coriſca;
Forbear your wiſhes for me. Thoſe let me find
At my return, in your prompt will to ſerve her.
HILLARIO.
Fly, Coriſca.
For my own poor part, Sir, I will grow lean with hard ſtudy
To make my miſtreſs merry.
(Exeunt HILLARIO and CORISCA.
EUGENIUS.
I'm ſtrangely troubled! yet why nouriſh thus
A fury here, and with imagin'd food,
Having no real grounds on which to raiſe
A doubt ſhe ever was, or can be falſe?
In this, I do but fooliſhly enquire
The knowledge of a future ſorrow.
[Muſes.
Enter BAPTISTA.
BAPTISTA.
(Aſide.)
Still brooding o'er imaginary ills
Which Fate herſelf might ne'er decree—My ſcheme
May cool this ſelf-rais'd fever in his mind,
If to that credit I have gain'd in th' arts,
Credulity but lend the lover's ear;
Friendſhip at leaſt approves of the device.
EUGENIUS.
I've conſulted with a friend of mine,
One deeply read in Nature's hidden ſecrets;
And, tho' with much reluctance, him have won
To do as much as Art enables him
To reſolve me of my future fate.
[Seeing BAPTISTA.
Here to my wiſh he comes.
Now, my Baptiſta!
BAPTISTA.
If you can
Proportion your deſire to any mean,
[6] I'd pronounce you happy. I have found
By certain rules of Art, your matchleſs wife
Is to the preſent hour unſpotted.
EUGENIUS.
Good!
BAPTISTA.
In reaſon, therefore, you ſhould be content,
And make no ſearch of what may fall hereafter.
EUGENIUS.
O Baptiſta!
'Tis not in me to maſter ſo my paſſions.
I muſt know farther, or you have made good
But half your promiſe. While my Love ſtood by
Holding her's upright—how, thus untempted,
Could ſhe give proof of well-tried conſtancy?
But when I'm abſent, and my coming back
Uncertain—ſhe, without controul or curb,
The abſolute diſpoſer of herſelf—nay, more,
By ſtrong temptations preſs'd on ev'ry ſide—
If then ſhe holds out—
BAPTISTA.
As no doubt ſhe will:
EUGENIUS.
Theſe doubts muſt be made certainties
By your aſſurance, or your boaſted Art
Will loſe its admiration.
BAPTISTA.
I cannot dive into her hidden thoughts,
And learn her cloſe intents, with all my ſkill;
But what I can, I readily will do.—
Will it content you, if, while diſtant far,
You there ſhall know, as if you then were with her,
When, and how far, by Love, ſhe e'er be wrought on?
EUGENIUS.
[7]
I aſk no more.
BAPTISTA.
Take then this little model of Sophia,
With more than human ſkill pourtray'd;
Each line and lineament of the drawing
So punctually obſerv'd, that, had it motion,
'Twould ev'n diſpute originality with her.
[Gives him the Miniature.
EUGENIUS.
It is indeed an admirable piece!
Whence came it?
BAPTISTA.
Of that no matter now—
EUGENIUS.
But if it have not ſome concealed charm
Of which I know not, wherefore muſt I bear
Her lovely counterfeit?
BAPTISTA.
I'll inſtruct you:
Carry it ſtill about you, and as oft
As you have wiſh to know how ſhe's affected,
With curious eye peruſe it: while it holds
The beauteous image that it now preſents
Entire and perfect, know that ſhe remains
Not only innocent, but unattempted.
But if th' harmonious colouring ſhould change,
And, from its ſoftly blended white and red,
Incline to jealous yellow, reſt aſſur'd
She is with ardor woo'd, tho' yet unconquer'd.
Should it aſſume a fatal ſable hue,
Her virtue, and your honor, are no more!
EUGENIUS.
[8]
Thanks, my Baptiſta.
So much have you engag'd me by this favor,
That the ſervice of my life will ſcarce repay it.
Adieu!
BAPTISTA.
Not yet; for I have more t' impart:
That as we ride along; for I'm not quite ſo old,
But I may ſee you join th' Hungarian troops,
And with the riſing Sun behold the conflict.
EUGENIUS.
As my better angel then,
You ſhall direct and guide me!—Come.
Our chargers there.
[Exeunt EUGENIUS and BAPTISTA.

SCENE II.

The COURT of LADISLAUS.
Enter UBALDO and RICARDO.
RICARDO.
Came the courier from the camp laſt night?
UBALDO.
Yes, as 'tis ſaid, with a letter
From the General Ferdinand.
RICARDO.
Sans queſtion then it is of moment?
UBALDO.
To thoſe who carry lives in either army.
RICARDO.
Was it chearfully received by the King?
UBALDO.
So, ſo:—ſoon however as aſſur'd
The lines approach'd within each other's view,
[9] He diſpatch'd an officer to Ferdinand,
With abſolute authority from him,
To try the fortune of the day.
RICARDO.
The General then, no doubt, will fight it bravely.
Heav'n proſper him! This military art
I grant to be the nobleſt of profeſſions;
And yet, I thank my ſtars! I never was
Inclin'd to learn it; for that bubble honor,
The pretty nothing for which theſe ſoldiers fight,
Is, in my judgment, of too dear a purchaſe.
UBALDO.
Give me our court warfare; eh! Ricardo?
The danger's not ſo great in the encounter
Of a miſtreſs—the conflict there coſts no limbs—
Thou, by thy own report, Ricardo,
Waſt a wag when young, and ſince that time
Haſt ſtudied every rank, from the night trader
I' th' ſtreet, with certain danger to thy pocket,
To the gay high-flier in the cabinet.
RICARDO.
You talk, Ubaldo, as though you would appear
A novice in love's myſteries; or perhaps
My better genius gives you cauſe for envy.
UBALDO.
No, thanks to my ſtars! I no man envy
From my own want, or his abundance;
To tell thee plainly, being, as you ſee,
The likelier man, and of much more experience,
There's no beauty
But yields ere it be ſummon'd; and as nature
Has ſtamp'd me the monopoliſt of maidens,
There's no man can buy till I have made my market.
RICARDO.
[10]
Ha, ha, ha!
UBALDO.
As I live I jeſt not. Why I'd part
With half my eſtate, nay, travel o'er the globe
To find that only Phoenix in my ſearch,
That could wing out of my ſure ſhot.
RICARDO.
Who will dare doubt the dexterity of him
That twangs ſo long a bow? Pray, what d'ye think
Of the Queen?
UBALDO.
No, no, Ricardo; I never yet did aim
At the lip-royal—that I ſtill except:
Yet were ſhe not our Sov'reign's own ſoft dove,
I would venture this neck to a halter,
To write her in my am'rous catalogue.
RICARDO.
Have you but mark'd with what reſerve ſhe looks
When the King himſelf makes his approach to her,
As ſhe were ſtill a virgin, and his life
But one continued wooing?
UBALDO.
Yes, and how ſhe oft has ſwoon'd when ſhe has heard
Of other women fam'd for charms or honors.
RICARDO.
I marvel that ſhe does not baniſh hence
All other female virtue from her court.
UBALDO.
Well, where 'twill end I know not, for the King
Is ſo indulgent to her humours, that ev'n now,
When both his crown and life are at the ſtake,
He only ſtudies her content—and when
She's pleas'd to ſhew herſelf, muſic and maſques
Are with all care and coſt provided.
RICARDO.
[11]
This night ſhe promis'd to appear.
UBALDO.
She did, and will, no doubt; for prithee mark
The buſtle of her royal harbinger.
Enter LADISLAUS, EUBULUS, and Attendants, with perfumes.
LADISLAUS.
Theſe rooms are not perfum'd as we directed.
EUBULUS.
No, Sir? I am ſure the od'rous incenſe
Coſt treble the price of the whole week's proviſion
Spent in your royal houſhold.
LADISLAUS.
How, Eubulus! when my Honoria
Deſcends to ſanctify a place, and make
For me a temple; ſay, were it not profane
To deck it only with a careleſs hand?
EUBULUS.
Well; ſince you ſo cloſely hug your fetters,
In love's name wear them; you are King, and that
Concludes you wiſe—for me, I do ſubſcribe.
LADISLAUS.
Do, and looking up, behold this wonder!
The Scene riſing to ſoft muſic, diſcovers HONORIA in State, under a Canopy, attended by the Court.
RICARDO.
Wonder! it is more, great Sir!
UBALDO.
[12]
Rapture! enchantment!
What think you?
[To Eubulus.
EUBULUS.
As the King thinks: that is the ſureſt guard,
At leaſt for you court butterflies—for me,
I can ſee a handſome woman (an' ſhe be ſo)
Without ſpectacles,
But yet to adoration look not on her;
Heav'n, how he fawns!
And with what aſſured gravity ſhe takes it,
As if it were his duty.
Oh, ſhe at laſt vouchafes
Her hand; and, as if he had ſuck'd nectar from it,
How he's exalted!—She's about to ſpeak,
What oracles ſhall we hear now?
HONORIA.
Since you are pleas'd
With ſuch aſſurances of love and favour
To grace your handmaid, but in being yours, Sir,
A matchleſs Queen;
I'm bound in gratitude to deſerve
The grace conferr'd upon me.
LADISLAUS.
You tranſcend in all things, Madam;
And 'tis my glory to depoſe myſelf
From abſolute command—ſurrendering up
My will and faculties to your diſpoſure.
And here I vow, not for a day or year,
But my whole life,
That whatſoever I in juſtice may
Exact from theſe my ſubjects, you from me
May boldly challenge.—And, when you require it,
[13] In ſign of my ſubjection as your vaſſal,
Thus will I pay my homage.
[Kneels to her.
HONORIA.
O, forbear, Sir,
Let not my lips envy my robe, on them
Print your allegiance often. I deſire
No other tribute!
LADISLAUS.
Gracious Sov'reign,
Boundleſs in bounty!
EUBULUS.
Is not here fine fooling?
(Aſide.)
He's queſtionleſs bewitch'd!
RICARDO.
There's dainty picking
For all that.
(Aſide.)
EUBULUS.
'Though my old life I forfeit
For it, yet I muſt ſpeak. By your good leave, Sir;
I have no ſuit to you, nor can you grant one,
Having no power. You are like me, a ſubject,
Her more than ſerene Majeſty being preſent;
And I muſt tell you, 'tis ill manners in you,
Having depos'd yourſelf, to keep your hat on,
And not ſtand bare, as we do. Gentlemen uſhers,
It does belong to you to ſee 't reform'd;
He has given away his crown, and cannot challenge
The privilege of his bonnet.
[Tauntingly.
LADISLAUS.
Do not tempt me.
RICARDO.
(Aſide.)
A deviliſh rough councellor this.
UBALDO.
[14]
The King ſeems all amazement!
RICARDO.
The Queen too has her ſhare
Of deep imaginations. Eubulus
Hath put both to't.
UBALDO.
Now ſhe ſeems reſolv'd.
RICARDO.
I long to know the iſſue.
HONORIA.
Give me leave,
Dear Sir, to reprehend you for appearing
Perplex'd, with what this privileg'd old man
Hath in his taunting irony applied.
—You know it was your own delight
To ſue to me with more humility
Than I deſir'd, yet 'twas my duty to obey;
I do but act the part you put upon me;
And though you make me perſonate a Queen,
And you my ſubject; when the play, your pleaſure,
Is at an end, I then am what I was,
Still your humble wife, and you my King.
RICARDO.
Admirable, on my troth!
HONORIA.
(To Eubulus.)
And now to your wiſe Lordſhip
Hath my King
Cauſe to repent th' exceſs of favor to me,
Which you diſlike? ſpeak! nay, boldly too;
For I'm not ignorant what I can deſerve,
And may with juſtice challenge.
EUBULUS.
[15]
This I look'd for;
After a ſeeming humble ebb, I knew
A guſhing tide would follow.
(Aſide.)
HONORIA.
By my birth,
And liberal gifts of nature, as of fortune,
From you, as what's beneath me, I expect
What's due to Majeſty, in which I am
A ſharer with your Sov'reign.
EUBULUS.
Good again.
HONORIA.
And as I am moſt eminent in place,
In all my actions I would appear ſo.
LADISLAUS.
You need not fear a rival.
HONORIA.
I hope not.
And 'till I find one, I diſdain to know
What envy is.
LADISLAUS.
You are above it, Madam.
HONORIA.
For beauty without art, diſcourſe, and free
From affectation, with what graces elſe
Can in the wife and daughter of a King
Be wiſh'd, I dare prefer myſelf.
EUBULUS.
Does the Court afford
No oil-tongu'd paraſite, that you are forc'd
To be your own groſs flatterer?
LADISLAUS.
[16]
Be dumb
Thou ceaſeleſs ſpirit of contradiction,
Or thy age, with all its boaſted bluntneſs,
Will not another hour protect thee.
[A Trumpet.
RICARDO.
A courier, my Liege.
LADISLAUS.
Bid him enter.
EUBULUS.
Here's one, I fear, unwelcome as myſelf.
Enter OFFICER.
LADISLAUS.
From the camp, Sir?
OFFICER.
Ay, my dread Liege, this from the general.
[The King reads the letters.
LADISLAUS.
'Tis well, my Queen! the gallant Ferdinand
Doth here inform us, that by rapid march
He hath ſo gain'd upon the Turkiſh lines,
That ere the ſetting of the ſun, the fate
Of either Kingdom muſt be known. Let's in,
And there, in Council, wait th' approaching tidings.
[Exit King, &c.

ACT II.

[17]

SCENE I.

Enter HILLARIO and CORISCA.
HILLARIO.
SO, you like my ſpeech?
CORISCA.
If you give it good action, i' th' delivery.
HILLARIO.
If! oh, how I pity you!
Why, I've play'd the fool before now.
CORISCA.
There I do agree with you.
HILLARIO.
Well, if I put not our miſtreſs, the Lady Sophia,
Out of her dumps with laughter, I look not
For preferment.
CORISCA.
Do, and thou ſhalt be the beſt of Hillarios;
For ſhe hath drank too oft the bitter cup,
A pleaſant one muſt now reſtore her;
But think you ſhe'll endure a jeſt about his death,
Since for his abſence only ſhe ſo grieves?
HILLARIO.
Um! that is a queſtion which a widow
Only can reſolve, and therefore worth the trying.
There be, who in their huſband's ſickneſs, have wept
[18] Their pottle of tears a-day; but being aſſur'd
At midnight he was dead, i' th' morning
Dry'd up their handkerchiefs, and thought no more on't.
CORISCA.
Tuſh, ſhe is none of that race: if her ſorrow
Be not true, woman ne'er wept in earneſt.
She has made herſelf a priſoner to her chamber,
Dark as a dungeon, in which no beam
Of comfort enters.
HILLARIO.
And yet there may be miſchief done
In a dark bed-chamber; nay, I've heard
As much.
CORISCA.
Pooh! ſhe admits no viſits;
This hour ſhe takes the air, with fondeſt hope
To receive aſſurance from ſome that may paſs by
Of the ſucceſs and ſafety of her Lord.
Now if your device will take—
HILLARIO.
Ne'er fear it:
I am provided cap-a-pee, having
I' th' ſummer-houſe my properties ready;
A courier's habit, and his ſounding horn,
Found 'mongſt our uſeleſs armoury.
(SOPHIA ſpeaks within.)
Bring my veil there.
CORISCA.
Be gone, I hear her coming.
HILLARIO.
I vaniſh: but if I don't appear,
And what's more, appear perfect, hoot at me.
[Exit HILLARIO.
[19] Enter SOPHIA.
SOPHIA.
I was flatter'd once I was a ſtar, but now
Like a prodigious meteor I appear,
Hung in the air between my hopes and fears,
And ev'ry hour
That yields a waning light to dying comfort,
I do expect my fall, and certain ruin.
In wretched things, more wretched is delay.
Dreams and fantaſtic viſions walk their round
About my widow'd bed, and ev'ry ſlumber's
Broke with loud alarms: Can theſe be then
But ſad preſages, girl?
CORISCA.
You make 'em ſo,
And antedate a loſs ſhall ne'er befal you;
Such pure affection, ſuch mutual love,
A houſe without contention; in two bodies
One will and ſoul, like to the rod of concord
Kiſſing each other, cannot be ſhort liv'd.
SOPHIA.
O, Coriſca!
Too well I know thy reaſons like thy wiſhes,
Are built upon a weak foundation,
To raiſe me comfort: ſince my Eugenius
Embark'd himſelf upon a ſea of danger
In his dear care of me, I've naught but ſorrow known;
'Tis ſtrange, methinks, no tidings yet have reach'd us!
CORISCA.
Ill news, Madam,
Is ſwallow-wing'd, while good but creeps on crutches.
[A horn ſounds.
SOPHIA.
[20]
Ah! what's that?
CORISCA.
This ſhould be a courier from the camp,
As I take it.
[Sounds again.
SOPHIA.
It maketh this way ſtill, and nearer yet!
The meſſenger appears, and in ſtrange armour,
Heav'n, if it be thy will!
Enter HILLARIO diſguiſed.
HILLARIO.
'Tis no boot to ſtrive.
My horſe being tir'd, I'll walk me on foot;
And that the caſtle, which is very near
To give me entertainment, may ſoon hear me,
I will another luſty blaſt! then drawing nigh,
Aſk for the Lady who's 'yclep'd Sophia.
CORISCA.
He names you, Madam!
HILLARIO.
for to her I do convey,
Thus clad in arms, news of a gallant ſoul,
By name Eugenius.
SOPHIA.
From my Lord? 'tis I,
I am that brave Eugenius's wife;
So may Mars favour you in all your battles,
As you with ſpeed unload me of the burden
I labour under, till I am confirm'd,
Both where, and how you left him:
Have you no letters from him?
HILLARIO.
[21]
No; all mere word of mouth:
I' the camp we uſe no pens, but write with ſwords;
Know he's in health, and what's more, full of glory:
And now, I will proclaim his matchleſs deeds;
But tremble not while I relate the wonder,
Tho' I declare it in a voice of thunder!
SOPHIA.
This is ſome counterfeit braggard.
CORISCA.
Nay, hear him, Madam!
HILLARIO.
The rear march'd firſt, which follow'd by the van,
And winged with the ſwift battalia,
No man durſt ſtay to ſhift his ſhirt,
Or diſencumber it of its hopeful ſtock;
Yet e'er the armies join'd, that pickled elf,
Thy dainty duckling, bold Eugenius,
Advanc'd with gallant ſtride, like Hercules!
A hundred thouſand Turks (it is no vaunt)
Aſſail'd him with their baſhaws of nine tails;
But how did he receive e'm? With his keen lance
He did ſo cut and carbonade 'em, that
One half fled;—but t' other wanting legs
And arms, could neither fight, nor follow!
SOPHIA.
This is ridiculous.
HILLARIO.
I muſt take breath,
Then, like a nightingale, I'll ſing his death.
CORISCA.
His death?
HILLARIO.
[22]
On my troth I'm out, my wit forſakes me.
(Aſide)
CORISCA.
Recover, dunderhead!
(Aſide)
HILLARIO.
How he eſcap'd I ſhould have ſung, not died,
For tho' a knight, when I ſaid ſo, I fibb'd:
Weary he was, and ſcarce could ſtand an end,
When looking round for ſome courageous knight
To reſcue him, as one perplex'd in woe,
He call'd to me—help, help, Hillario!
CORISCA.
He has ſpoil'd all!
(Aſide)
SOPHIA.
Are you the man of arms? Then I'll make bold
To take off your martial beaver; you had fool's hair
Enough without it—ſlave, how dar'ſt thou make
Thy ſport of what concerns me more than life,
In ſuch an antic faſhion? Am I grown.
Contemptible to thoſe I feed?—You, Coriſca,
Had a hand in't too, as it appears.
CORISCA.
We did it only for your mirth, Madam.
HILLARIO.
For myſelf, I hope
I have ſpoke like a good ſoldier at leaſt.
SOPHIA.
Hence, buffoon!
I never but with reverence name my Lord,
And ſhall I hear him by thy tongue profan'd?
[23] But ſince you are
Transform'd, and turn'd knight-errant, take your courſe,
And wander where you pleaſe; for here I vow,
By my Lord's life, an oath I will not break,
Till his return, or certainty of his ſafety,
My doors are ſhut againſt thee.
[Exit SOPHIA.
CORISCA.
You have made
A fine piece of work on't! how do you like your reward?
You had a fooliſh itch to be an actor,
And may now ſtroll about where you pleaſe.
HILLARIO.
Will you buy my ſhare o'th' profit, Coriſca?
CORISCA.
No, I fear I have already
Too much of mine own—
And ſo, dear Don Quixote, taking my leave,
I leave you to your new fortune.
[Exit CORISCA.
HILLARIO.
Have I cudgell'd
My poor brain for this rare invention,
To be thus rewarded?—I could turn
Tragedian, and roar amain, but that I fear
'Twould get me too large a ſtomach, having
No meat to ſatisfy her cravings—Ah, poor me!
I cannot beg in armour, that would diſhonour
More than myſelf; and ſteal I dare not!—
My end muſt be to ſtand in a corn field,
And fright away the crows for bread and cheeſe,
Or find ſome hollow tree in the highway,
And there ſell ſwitches till my Lord's return!
[Exit HILLARIO.

SCENE II.

[24]
Enter EUBULUS, RICARDO, and UBALDO, with wands of Office.
EUBULUS.
I like the iſſue of this ſtubborn battle:
Are the officers gone as by the King directed,
To receive the gallant General?
RICARDO.
Long ſince, and ere this have greeted him.
EUBULUS.
You know your office, Lords, on his arrival?
UBALDO.
Who, we? oh! fear not us, my Lord, I pray,
We know our diſtance and degrees.
RICARDO.
The ſtate were miſerable truly, if
The court had none of her own breed familiar
With all the gaits of form and punctilio,
To receive its viſitors.
UBALDO.
'Tis a great pity
That ſuch as ſit at the helm, provide no better
For the training up of the gentry:—in my judgment
An academy erected, with large penſions
To ſuch as miraculouſly ſpeak
I'th' congees, cringes, poſtures, and the phraſe
Proper to every nation.
RICARDO.
O, it were
An admirable piece of work.
UBALDO.
[25]
And yet rich fools
Throw away their charity on hoſpitals
For beggars and lame ſoldiers, and ne'er ſtudy
The due regard to compliment, and court breeding.
EUBULUS.
Our court needs no aid this way, ſince it is
A ſchool of nothing elſe. There are ſome of you
Whom I forbear to name, whoſe coining heads
Are the mint of all new faſhions, that have done
More hurt to the kingdom by ſuperflous foppery,
Which the fooliſh gentry imitate, than a war
Or a long famine; all the treaſure by
This foul exceſs, is got into the hands of
Silk-men, tailors, and embroiderers!
Nay, the third part of the land too, our nobles
Engroſſing titles only!
UBALDO.
My Lord, you are bitter.
RICARDO.
Sharp as a hoar-froſt.
[A trumpet.
Enter a SERVANT.
SERVANT.
The general is alighted, and now enter'd.
RICARDO.
Were he ten generals, I am prepar'd,
And know what I will do.
UBALDO.
Pr'ythee what, Ricardo?
RICARDO.
Why, I'll fight at compliments with him.
UBALDO.
[26]
Will you? then I'll charge him too, on the ſame gage.
EUBULUS.
Take care, gallants, you do not find this
A more deſperate ſervice than you think for.
[Flouriſh.
Enter FERDINAND, EUGENIUS, and attendant Officers.
FERDINAND.
(To an Officer.)
Captain, command the Officers to keep
The troops ſtill dreſs'd in rank and file,
Till they have further orders.
[Exit OFFICER.
EUBULUS.
Here's one ſpeaks
In a different key! this is no canting prattle
Taught in your academy of compliments.
[To Ric. and Ubal.
FERDINAND.
Nay, I will preſent you to the King myſelf.
EUGENIUS.
That is a grace will go beyond my merit.
FERDINAND.
You undervalue what I cannot ſet
Too high a price on.
EUBULUS.
With a friend's true heart
I congratulate your return.
FERDINAND.
Next to the favour
Of my Prince, I'm happy in your friendſhip.
UBALDO.
By courtlineſs, coarſe enough on both ſides!
FERDINAND.
[27]
Pray you receive
This ſtranger; by our knowledge, on my credit
At all parts he deſerves it.
EUBULUS.
Your report
Is a ſtrong aſſurance to me.—Sir, moſt welcome.
EUGENIUS.
The reverence of your age commands me
To believe it.
RICARDO.
This was pretty!
UBALDO.
But now for my attack.—
[apart]
—You'll ſecond me?
RICARDO.
I cannot ſtoop ſo low, to do your Excellence
That due obſervance which your fortune claims.
EUBULUS.
The prig forgets his virtue and his valour.
RICARDO.
For being, as you are, the ſoul of ſoldiers,
And bulwark of Bellona—
UBALDO.
The protection
Both of the Court, and King—
RICARDO.
And the ſole minion
Of mighty Mars!
EUBULUS.
Hey dey!
RICARDO.
It being impoſſible in my arms to circle
Such giant worth—
UBALDO.
[28]
At diſtance we preſume
To kiſs your honoured gauntlet.
EUBULUS.
What reply now
Can he make to this foppery?
FERDINAND.
You have ſaid,
Gallants, ſo much, and hitherto done ſo little,
That till I learn to ſpeak, and you to act,
I muſt take time to thank you.
EUBULUS.
As I live, anſwered as I could wiſh.
How the fops gape now!
RICARDO.
This was harſh, and ſcurvy.
UBALDO.
We will be reveng'd
When he comes into the circle o'th' court ladies.
EUBULUS.
Nay, do your offices, gentlemen, and conduct
The General to the preſence.
RICARDO.
Keep your order.
UBALDO.
Make way for the General.
[Exeunt.

SCENE III.

[29]
The Royal Saloon.
The Curtain riſing, diſcovers LADISLAUS, HONORIA, FERDINAND, EUGENIUS, BAPTISTA, &c. attended by ACANTHE, and the Court.

FULL CHORUS.

Crown'd with conqueſt! view the chief,
Deſtin'd for the ſtate's relief!
Valour bids the wreath be bound,
To entwine his temples round:
Bids us ſuch a hero prize,
And exalt him to the ſkies!
LADISLAUS.
This courteſy
To the General, my Honoria, keeps fair rank
With all your virtues!
After your warfare,
[To Ferdinand.
Look on our court delights; but firſt from your
Relation, with delighted ears, I'll hear
The muſic of your war, which muſt be ſweet,
Ending in victory.
FERDINAND.
Not to trouble
Your Majeſties with the deſcription of a battle,
Too full of horror for the place, I'll be as brief as poſſible.
It was well fought on both ſides, and almoſt
With equal fortune; it continuing doubtful
Upon whoſe tents plum'd victory would take
Her glorious ſtand. Impatient of delay,
With the flower of our prime gentlemen, I charg'd
Their main battalia, and with their aſſiſtance
[30] Broke in; but when I was almoſt aſſur'd
They were routed, by a ſtratagem
Of the ſubtle Turk,
Rallying up his troops on either ſide,
I found myſelf ſo far engag'd (for I
Muſt not conceal my faults) that I knew not
Which way, with honor, to retreat.
EUBULUS.
I like
A general that tells his faults, and is not
Ambitious to engroſs unto himſelf
All honor, as ſome have; in which, with juſtice,
They could not claim a ſhare.
FERDINAND.
Being thus hemm'd in,
Their ſcymetars rag'd amongſt us; and my horſe
Kill'd under me, I every minute look'd for
An honorable end, and that was all
My hope could faſhion to me. Circled thus
With death and horror, as one ſent from heav'n,
This man of men, with ſome choice horſe that follow'd
[To Eugenius.
His brave example, did purſue the track
His ſword cut for them; and (but that I ſee him
Already bluſh to hear what, he being preſent,
I know would wiſh unſpoken) I ſhould ſay, Sir,
By what he did, we boldly may believe
All that is writ of ancient heroes!
EUGENIUS.
General,
Pray ſpare the feelings of an humble ſoldier.
EUBUIUS.
Do not bluſh
To hear a truth, here are a pair of Monſieurs,
[To Ubaldo and Ricardo.
[31] Had they been in your place, would have run away,
And ne'er chang'd countenance.
UBALDO.
We have your good word ſtill.
EUBULUS.
And ſhall while you deſerve it.
LADISLAUS.
Silence!—on:
FERDINAND.
He, as I ſaid, like dreadful light'ning thrown
From Jove's broad ſhield, diſpers'd the armed hoſt
With which I was environ'd. Horſe and man
Shrunk under his ſtrong arm: more with his looks
Frighted, the valiant fled; with which encourag'd,
My ſoldiers, like young eagles, preying under
The wings of their fierce dam, bravely came on.
By him I was remounted, inſpir'd
With treble courage, and ſuch as fled before
Boldly made head again; and to confirm 'em,
It ſuddenly was apparent that the fortune
Of the day was ours. Each ſoldier and commander
Perform'd his part; but this was the great wheel
By which the leſſer mov'd, and all rewards
And ſigns of honor to him alone belong.
LADISLAUS.
And they ſhall
Deſervedly fall on him.
To the banquet now—prepare to entertain 'em.
[The Maſques retire repeating the Chorus.
HONORIA.
Permit me, Sir, to hope
That your commanders,
Eſpecially this ſtranger, may as I.
[32] In my diſcretion ſhall think good, receive
What's due to their deſerts.
LADISLAUS.
What you determine
Shall know no alteration.
EUBULUS.
The ſoldier
Is like to have good uſage when he depends
Upon her pleaſure.
HONORIA.
With you, Sir,
[To Eugenius.
I will begin; and as, in my eſteem,
You are moſt eminent, expect to have
What's fit for me to give, and you to take;
Bring me my caſket, and with ſpeed:
[ACANTHE goes out, and returns immediately with a Caſket.
See here!
The lapidary's idol! gold is traſh!
A poor ſalary fit for grooms—wear theſe
As ſtuded ſtars within your circling ſhield;
Call them Honoria's gift,
Who loves not a valiant ſoldier; yet not to take
From the magnificence of the King, I will
Diſpenſe his bounty too, but as a page
To wait on mine: for other loſſes take
An hundred thouſand crowns: your hand, dear Sir,
And this ſhall be thy warrant.
[Takes off the King's Signet.
Are you pleas'd, Sir,
With what I've done?
LADISLAUS.
Yes, my Queen, and confirm it
With this addition of mine own: you have, Sir,
From our lov'd Queen receiv'd ſome recompence
[33] For your life, hazarded in the late action;
And that we may follow her great example
In cheriſhing her love, aſk what your heart can wiſh!
EUGENIUS.
If wealth were my ambition, by the Queen
I am made rich already, to th' amazement
Of all that ſee, or ſhall hereafter read
The ſtory of her bounty.—If to ſpend
The remnant of my life in deeds of arms,
No region is more fertile of good Knights,
From whom my knowledge that way may be better'd,
Than this your warlike Hungary:—but, alas! Sir,
I am not my own, being by deſtiny,
Which I cannot reſiſt, forc'd to prefer
My country's homely ſmoke, before the fire
With which your bounties warm me—All then I aſk,
Dread Sir, is but your gracious licenſe for
My departure.
LADISLAUS.
Whither?
EUGENIUS.
To my own home, Sir; juſt on the frontier of your realm:
My own poor home, which will, at my return,
Grow rich by your munificence. I am here
But a body without a ſoul; and till I find it
In the embraces of a conſtant wife,
Whoſe beauteous excellencies know no rival,
I am but half myſelf.
HONORIA.
And is ſhe then
So chaſte and fair as you infer?
Have I liv'd to hear this?
(Aſide.)
EUGENIUS.
O, Madam!
Though it muſt argue weakneſs in me, thus
[34] To ſhew my wealth before an armed hoſt,
By praiſing of my wife, only to fan
The flame of love in others to admire her,
Such is my confidence in her virtue,
Though in my abſence, ſhe were now beſieg'd
By a ſtrong party of laſcivious wooers—
Here is th' aſſurance of her unſapp'd honor!
[Kiſſes the Picture.
LADISLAUS.
What's that?
HONORIA.
How—have I liv'd to hear my fame excell'd!
(Aſide.)
LADISLAUS.
Nay frown not, ſweeteſt,
The Cyprian Queen, compar'd to you, in my
Opinion, were an Ethiop! At your deſire
I'll ſee the ſoldiers paid; and inmy abſence,
Pray uſe powerful argument, to ſtay
This gallant ſoldier in our ſervice.
HONORIA.
I will, Sir,
To the utmoſt of my power.
LADISLAUS.
On to the camp.
[Exit LADIS. FERD. EUE. BAPTIS. and Officers.
HONORIA.
I am full of thought!
Something lies here, tormenting me within,
I muſt give form to: you, good Signors,
Have little buſineſs with the ſoldier, as I take it
You are for other warfare; ſo retire, but be
Within call.
RICARDO.
Employment, on my life, boy!
UBALDO.
[35]
If it be in our road we are made fer ever.
[Exit UBALDO and RICARDO.
HONORIA.
You may perceive, Sir, the King is no ways tainted
With the diſeaſe of jealouſy, ſince he leaves me
Thus private with you.
EUGENIUS.
It were in him, Madam,
A ſin unpardonable, to diſtruſt ſuch pureneſs.
HONORIA.
I preſume he would not; and yet the ſtory
Deliver'd of you by the General,
Which ſinks too deeply in a woman's heart,
Join'd to your preſence, might beget ſome ſcruple
In a meaner man—but more of this hereafter,
For mine's a ſofter theme—when I conjure you
By the honors you have won, and by the love
Sacred to your dear wife, to anſwer truly
To what I ſhall demand.
EUGENIUS.
You need enforce no charm, Madam,
HONORIA.
Say then, amidſt your converſe with our ſex
Have you not found that conſtancy give way?
EUGENIUS.
By the hopes of mercy, never!—I have been
Receiv'd to the ſociety of the beſt
And faireſt of our clime, from them have met
No common entertainment—yet never felt
My well-plac'd love abate.
HONORIA.
Strange! and do you think ſtill
[36] That earth can ſhew no beauty that may drench
In Lethe all remembrance of the favor
You now bear to her?
EUGENIUS.
Nature muſt firſt find out
Some other mould to faſhion a new creature
Fairer than mortal eyes have ſeen, ere I prove
Guilty, or in my wiſhes or my thoughts,
To my beloved Sophia.
HONORIA.
Sir!—conſider better,
Not one in our whole ſex?
EUGENIUS.
I am conſtant to my reſolution, Madam.
HONORIA.
But dare you ſtand the trial?—and bind yourſelf
By oath for the performance?
EUGENIUS.
My faith elſe
Had but a weak foundation.
HONORIA.
I embrace
Your promiſe, and enjoin your ſtay
For one month here!
EUGENIUS.
[Aſide.
I am caught!
HONORIA.
And if I do not
Produce a lady in that time, who ſhall
Make you confeſs your error, I ſubmit
Myſelf to any penalty you ſhall pleaſe
T' impoſe upon me: in the mean ſpace, write
To your chaſte wife, acquaint her with your fortune.
The jewels that were mine, you may ſend to her
[37] For better confirmation; I'll provide you
Truſty meſſengers—there's no returning—
I'll bind you to your word.
EUGENIUS.
Well, ſince there is
No way to ſhun it, I will ſtand the hazard,
And inſtantly make ready my diſpatch;
'Till then, I'll leave your majeſty.
[Exit EUGENIUS.
HONORIA.
How I burſt
With envy, that there lives beſides myſelf
So fair, and chaſte a woman!—'twas the end
Of my ambition to be recorded
The only wonder of the age, and ſhall I,
Now give way to a competitor?
I thought one amorous glance of mine could bring
All hearts to my ſubjection—but this ſtranger
Unmov'd as rock contemns me!
I muſt know more of this fair prodigy;
And for that purpoſe quickly will diſpatch
Ubaldo and Ricardo, courtiers both
Well train'd in all the windings of our ſex—.
But him, although bright honor deck his brow
I view not with a wanton eye—my pride
Howe'er demands a tributary ſigh
'Tis all I aſk; ſo that ere morning's dawn
By well feign'd female blandiſhments I'll prove
Whether I cannot warm his heart to love!
[Exit. HON.
END OF THE SECOND ACT.

ACT III.

[38]

SCENE I.

HILLARIO diſcover'd in a mean habit, ſitting near a ſpring in the front of the Caſtle.
HILLARIO.
THIN, thin proviſion!—I am dieted
Like one ſet to watch hawks; and to keep me waking,
Vile hunger croaks a perpetual larum in me!
—Here ſtand I centinel, and though I fright
Beggars from my lady's gate, in hopes to have
A larger ſhare—I find my commons mend not!
—I look'd this morning into my glaſs—the river,
And there appear'd a fiſh call'd "a poor John,"
Cut with a lenten face after my own likeneſs;
And he ſeem'd to ſay, "Good morrow, couſin!"
—No man comes this way but has a ſting at me.
A chirurgeon paſſing by, aſked at what rate
I would ſell myſelf?—for what uſe? quoth I?
To make, ſaid he, a live anatomy,
As thou art tranſparent without diſſection!
—They ſay, that famine dwells i'th' camp, tho' till
My lord returns, or certain tidings of him
She will ſtick cloſe by me;—but ſorrow's dry
And I muſt drink!
[Draws water with an earthen pitcher, and drinks.
A marvellous difference I vow, betwixt
This poor, and dropſical potation,
And a ſkinful of honeſt Canary!
[39] What ſignifies it's curing the heart burn
When it gives me the heart-ache, and for which
This hard dry cruſt will prove no good ſpecific!
I'll try if I can ſing it away.

SONG.

Poor Hillario, once ſo jolly,
G [...]ing up his wits to folly,
Finds it now an alter'd caſe;
He no more o'er larded pullet,
Or the white or cherry'd mullet,
At the table takes his place.
Courtiers thus of every nation,
Ev'ry age, and every ſtation,
Tumble into my diſgrace;
When pamper'd by the ſtate's beſt diſhes,
They ſoon kick down the loaves and fiſhes,
Then get themſelves—kick'd out of place!
Enter UBALDO, RICARDO, and GUIDE.
GUIDE.
That is the Lady's caſtle,
O' my certain knowledge.
RICARDO.
Our horſes held out to admiration.
UBALDO.
I am on fire to ſee the quarry;
Plump and pretty, no doubt!
RICARDO.
[40]
Give me the cabinet.
[takes it from the Guide.
So; leave us now.
GUIDE.
Good fortune to you, moſt honourable gallants.
[Exit Guide.
UBALDO.
Being d'ye ſee, joint agents in a deſign
For the ſervice of the Queen, and our own pleaſure!
It behoves us, Ricardo, to proceed with judgment.
HILLARIO.
On my troth here ſeem to be two more ſham knights,
Come, like me, to play the fool!
[Aſide.
RICARDO.
If I take not
This fair fort, at the firſt aſſault,
So I may have precedence—
UBALDO.
On no terms;
We are both to beſiege one prize; let him
Who carries her, enjoy it without contention.
RICARDO.
Agreed—but mind and make you your approaches
As I directed.
UBALDO.
Sir, I need no inſtructions;
I work on no man's anvil—But who have we here?
What ſkeleton's this?
RICARDO.
A ghoſt; thou image of famine,
Where doſt thou dwell?
HILLARIO.
Dwell Sir? my dwelling is
I'th' highway. That goodly houſe was once
My habitation; but I am baniſh'd,
[41] And cannot be call'd home 'till news arrive
Of the good knight Eugenius.
RICARDO.
If that will reſtore thee,
Thou art ſafe—
UBALDO.
We come from him,
With preſents to his lovely wife.
HILLARIO.
But are you ſure
He is in health?
RICARDO.
Never ſo well; conduct us
To his fair Lady.
HILLARIO.
I will leap
Out of my ſkin for joy!—Break, pitcher, break;
And wallet, late my cupboard, I bequeath thee
To the next beggar; thou red herring, ſwim
To the red ſea again! methinks I am already
Knuckle deep in the ſtew pots; and, tho' waking, dream
Of wine and plenty!
RICARDO.
What's the myſtery
Of this ſtrange paſſion?
HILLARIO.
My hunger, gentlemen,
Will not give me leave to tell you; when I have brought you
To my Lady's preſence, I am diſenchanted,
There you ſhall know all.—Follow: if I out-ſtrip you,
Know I run for my belly.
UBALDO.
A mad fellow this, ſurely!
[Exeunt.

SCENE II.

[42]
Enter SOPHIA and CORISCA.
SOPHIA.
Do not again delude me with an idle tale.
CORISCA.
If I do, Madam, baniſh me to poor Hillario.
I ſtood as you commanded in the turret,
Obſerving all that paſſed by; and even now
I did diſcern a pair of cavaliers
With their guide diſmounting; they ſaid ſomething
To our hungry centinel, that made him caper,
And friſk i' th' air for joy:—and to confirm all this,
See, Madam, they're in view.
Enter UBALDO, RICARDO, and HILLARIO.
HILLARIO.
Down on your knees with me; tidings of joy!
News from my Lord!—Theſe are no counterfeits!—
Set out the cold chine, and ven'ſon paſties!
[Speaking within.
They are true knights indeed!—The cold chine I ſay,
And a bottle of canary!—Dear Madam, ſign
My pardon, that I may once more feed again,
And pick up my crumbs, for indeed I've had
A long faſt of it.
SOPHIA.
Thou may'ſt eat; I forgive thee!
HILLARIO.
O words moſt comfortable!
"Eat, I forgive thee!"
And if in this I do not ſoon obey you,
[43] And cram unto the purpoſe—billet me again
I' th' highway—Butler and cook make ready,
For I ſhall enter like a tyrant, laying
All waſte before me!
[Exit HILLARIO.
UBALDO.
I have been ſtruck dumb
This half hour! Madam, ſince my faithful eyes
Were never happy in ſo ſweet an object,
I preſume, without enquiry, that you are
The fairer Lady of this fair caſtle,
And ſo ſalute you.
[Kiſſes her.
RICARDO.
Faith he has got the firſt bite at the cherry.
[Aſide.
This letter, with theſe jewels from your Lord,
Warrant my boldneſs, Madam.
[Salutes her.
SOPHIA.
Heav'n in thy mercy make me
Thy thankful handmaid, for this bounteous bleſſing.
UBALDO.
I do not like
This ſimple devotion in her; it is ſeldom
Practis'd among our miſtreſſes at court.
RICARDO.
Nor would they kneel, to I know not who, for the poſſeſſion
Of ſuch ineſtimable wealth, before
They thank'd the bringers of it? The poor Lady
Wants inſtruction, 'tis plain; I'll be her tutor,
And ſoon read her another leſſon.
SOPHIA.
If I have
Shewn want of manners, gentlemen, in my ſlowneſs
To pay the thanks I owe your travel,
To do my Lord and me this noble favor,
[44] Impute it, in your clemency, to the exceſs
Of joy that overwhelm'd me.
RICARDO.
She ſpeaks it well.
UBALDO.
Polite, and courtly.
SOPHIA.
And howe'er it may
Increaſe th' offence, to trouble you with more
Demands touching my Lord, before I have
Invited you to taſte, ſuch as the plainneſs
Of my poor houſe can offer,—
Let me entreat, to learn from you ſomething
In his letters he may have left unmention'd.
RICARDO.
I can only
Give you aſſurance that he is in health,
Grac'd by the King and Queen.
UBALDO.
And in the court
With admiration look'd on.
RICARDO.
You muſt therefore
Put off theſe homely garments, and appear
Like to yourſelf.
UBALDO.
And entertain all pleaſures
Your fortune marks out for you.
RICARDO.
There are other
Droll particulars, which on occaſion
I will deliver to you.
SOPHIA.
[45]
You oblige me,
To your ſervice ever.
RICARDO.
Good! your ſervice, mark that!
[To Ubaldo.
SOPHIA.
In the mean time, by your acceptance, make
My ruſtic entertainment reliſh of
The pleaſures of the court.
UBALDO.
Your looks, ſweet Madam,
Cannot but make each diſh a feaſt.
SOPHIA.
It ſhall be
Such, in the freedom of my will to pleaſe you:
I'll ſhew the way; this is too great an honor
For me, ſo mean an hoſteſs.
[Exeunt, RICARDO leading her out.

SCENE III.

A Garden by Moon light.
Enter ACANTHE, to Ruffians maſqued.
ACANTHE.
You know your charge? give it due action, and expect
Rewards beyond your hopes.
1ſt RUFFIAN.
If we but eye 'em
They are ours, I warrant you.
2d RUFFIAN.
May we not aſk why
We are put upon this?
ACANTHE.
[46]
Let that command your ſilence,
[Gives money.
And learn more manners, grooms: 'tis upon the hour
In which they're here expected; when you have 'em
In your power, inſtantly carry them to the place
Where I appointed, there will I expect you.
Be bold, and vigilant!
[Exit ACANTHE.
Enter EUGENIUS and BAPTISTA.
1ſt RUFFIAN.
Theſe are they!
2d RUFFIAN.
Are you ſure?
1ſt RUFFIAN.
Am I ſure I am myſelf?
2d RUFFIAN.
Seize on him quickly; if he have but means
To draw his ſword, 'tis ten to one we ſmart for't.
[Aſide.
EUGENIUS.
I cannot gueſs
What the Queen's intents are; but her carriage was
As I but now related.
BAPTISTA.
Your aſſurance
In the conſtancy of your Lady, is the armour
That muſt defend you. Where's the picture?
EUGENIUS.
Here; and no way alter'd, I think.
BAPTISTA.
If ſhe be not perfect, there's no truth in art.
EUGENIUS.
By this I hope ſhe hath receiv'd my letters?
BAPTISTA.
[47]
Without queſtion.
EUGENIUS.
—Lend me your ear,
I have ſomewhat that requires your privacy.
Exeunt EUGENIUS and BAPTISTA.
1ſt RUFFIAN.
Now they ſtand fair!—upon 'em.
[Exeunt.
EUGENIUS.
Villains!
[Behind.
BAPTISTA.
Traitors!
[Behind.

SCENE IV.

Enter EUBULUS.
EUBULUS.
I like not well this wooing embaſſy
Betwixt the Royal Pair.—A common man,
Who his own bed can tumble at his will,
Wants no ſuch meſſenger to ſmoothe his way.
[Knocks at the Queen's anti-chamber.
ACANTHE, from window above.
ACANTHE.
Who knocks ſo loud without?
EUBULUS.
'Tis Eubulus,
Commiſſion'd from her Lord to greet the Queen.
ACANTHE.
I'll tell her ſo, but doubt your errand's vain.
[Exit ACANTHE.
EUBULUS.
[48]
With all my heart! Love frolics not with me,
A bachelor's the fellow after all!
ACANTHE re-appearing.
ACANTHE.
No ſuit will ſhake the Queen from her reſolve;
Who craves the King's and your excuſe, my Lord,
For this her ſolitude to-night.
EUBULUS.
'Tis well,
I'll trouble you no further.
[Exit ACANTHE.
I had orders to win her woman's intereſt with a purſe;
But ſuch a traffic is too pitiful
For Eubulus! I ever thought a King
Might take up any at the King's good price,
And muſt he buy his own at dearer rate?
If this be long the faſhion of the court,
Shame fall on ſuch as uſe it!—My return
Will lack ſo much of comfort, that the King,
Howe'er his Queen may fare, will preſs, I doubt,
A joyleſs pillow.
[Exit EUBULUS.

SCENE V.

Enter EUGENIUS.
EUGENIUS.
If I'm in a priſon, 'tis a neat one;
What Oedipus can reſolve this riddle?
I ne'er gave juſt cauſe to any man
Baſely to plot againſt my life. But what is
Become of my Baptiſta? for him I ſuffer
More than myſelf.
ACANTHE.
[49]
Remove that idle fear;
[Behind.
He's ſafe as you are.
EUGENIUS.
Whoſoe'er thou art,
For him I thank thee. I cannot imagine
Where I ſhould be! Tho' I have read the table
Of errant knighthood, ſtuff'd with the relations
Of magical enchantments, yet am not I
So weakly credulous, to believe the fiend
Hath that way any power. Ha! muſic!
[A ſymphony.

AIR.

[Within.
Would you view the lovelieſt roſe
Nature's fragrant charms diſcloſe,
Every chilling thought remove,
Warm it with the breath of Love!
EUGENIUS.
A ſong too! and that in flowing meaſure;
Be what it may that owns this tuneful voice,
It hath not much acquaintance with affliction.
Whoe'er you are that do inhabit here,
If not aerial forms alone, approach!
Enter HONORIA veil'd.
And make me know your end with me—Moſt ſtrange!
What have I conjur'd up? Sure, if this be
A ſpirit, 'tis no damned one! If that your lovely face
Have not too much divinity about it
For mortal eyes to gaze upon; oh! perfect what
You have begun with wonder,
To my aſtoniſh'd ſenſes.
(She unveils.)
How! the Queen!
[Kneels.
HONORIA.
[50]
Riſe, Sir, and hear my reaſons, in defence
Of that conſtraint which I've by force put on you:
You perhaps may think, what for my love you've ſuffer'd
Is a common practice with me; but I call
Thoſe ever ſhining lamps, and their great Maker,
As witneſſes of my innocence, I ne'er ſaw
Man but your dear ſelf, on whom I ever
(Except the King) vouchſaf'd an eye of favor.
EUGENIUS.
The King, and only ſuch a King, deſerves
Your favor, Madam; for myſelf, great Queen,
I am a thing obſcure, disfurniſh'd of
All merit that can raiſe me higher, than
In my moſt humble gratitude, for your bounty,
To hazard my life for you, and that way,
I am moſt ambitious.
HONORIA.
I deſire no more
Than what you promiſe. If you dare expoſe
Your life, as you profeſs, to do me ſervice,
How can it better be employ'd than in
Preſerving mine? which only you can do,
Nay, muſt do, with the danger of your own.
EUGENIUS.
Pray you forbear:
I would I did not underſtand too much
Already; by your lips I am inſtructed
To credit that, which not confirm'd by you,
I ſhould have deem'd diſſimulation,
Tho' an angel's voice had thus affirm'd it.
But were you cloy'd with happineſs that's built
On lovely chaſtity, which I ſtill doubt,
[51] —Amid ten thouſand every way more apt
To be thus wrought on, being your ſubjects,
Why ſhould you deign to chuſe out me, a ſtranger?
Proud in the tented field I'll fight your cauſe;
Or with this arm—
HONORIA.
I need no champion
With ſword to guard my beauty, or my honor;
In both I can defend myſelf, and live
My own protectreſs.
EUGENIUS.
If theſe advocates,
The beſt that plead in my behalf, want pow'r,
What can be found in me to tempt you thus,
To war againſt yourſelf?
HONORIA.
I will be plain:
It is your loyalty unto your wife,
Hath rais'd my envy, and inſpir'd my love!
EUGENIUS.
Theſe are mere contraries: if you love me, Madam,
For my conſtancy, why ſeek you to deſtroy it?
In my keeping, it preſerves me worth your favor!
Or if it be a jewel of that value,
As you with labour'd rhet'ric would perſuade me,
What can you ſtake againſt it?
HONORIA.
A Queen's fame,
And equal honors.
EUGENIUS.
Is it in man
To reſiſt ſuch ſtrong temptations?
HONORIA.
[52]
He begins
To waver.
[Aſide.
EUGENIUS.
Madam, as you are gracious,
Grant me this one ſhort night's deliberation,
And with the riſing ſun you ſhall
Receive my anſwer.
HONORIA.
Tho' extremes
Hate all delay, I will deny you nothing—
This key will bring you to your friend. You're ſafe;
And all things that imagination could prepare,
For one I love and honour, wait upon you.—
Take counſel of your pillow; ſuch a fortune
As with affection's ſwiſteſt wing now ſeeks you,
Will not again await you.
[Exit HONORIA.
EUGENIUS.
How my blood
Rebels!—I now could call her back, and yet
There's ſomething ſtays me; if the King had tender'd
Such favors to my wife, 'tis to be doubted
They had not been refus'd—But as a man
I ſhould not yield, and prove the firſt example
For her defence of frailty!—By this, perhaps
She's tempted too! but here I may examine.
[Looks at the Picture.
No, my Sophia's ſtill the ſame—the ſame
Pure chryſtal rock of innocence! periſh all
Allurements that may alter me!—The ſnow
Of her ſweet chaſtity hath quite put out
The fire that but e'en now began to flame;
And I by her confirm'd, rewards, nor titles,
Nor death in all its terrors, from the Queen herſelf,
Shall ſhake my conſtant faith!
[Exit.

SCENE VI.

[53]
Enter UBALDO and RICARDO.
UBALDO.
We've laid a good foundation; for 'tis clear
Our tale begins to work! But come!
By lot, you know, I firſt muſt wooe her.
RICARDO.
Plague take it, you have the felicity
Of the firſt advance; but as it is condition'd,
Obſerve the time proportion'd by us both,
With this repeater I ſhall minute you.
Panting for my ſhare in the atchievement,
When I cry hem! fall off!
UBALDO.
I will; provided you are like obſervant.
Stand by, ſhe comes: I'll watch my opportunity.
Enter SOPHIA.
SOPHIA.
Strangely diſtracted with the various ſtories,
Now well, now ill, then doubtfully by my gueſts
Deliver'd of my lord,—and like poor beggars
That in their dreams find treaſure, by reflection
Of a wounded fancy, make it queſtionable
Whether they ſleep or not;—in ſome ſuch meaſure
Incredulous of what I ſee, and touch,
As 'twere a fading apparition, I
Am ſtill perplex'd and troubled; and when moſt
Confirm'd 'tis true, a curious jealouſy
To be aſſur'd, by what means, and from whom,
Such a maſs of wealth was firſt deſerv'd, then gotten,
[54] Cunningly ſteals in upon me. I have practis'd
For my certain reſolution with theſe courtiers,
Promiſing private conference to either,
And at this hour; if in the ſearch of truth
I hear, or ſay, more than becomes my virtue
Forgive me my Eugenius!
UBALDO.
Now I advance—
[Aſide.
Madam, as you commanded me, I attend
Your pleaſure.
SOPHIA,
I muſt thank you for the favor.
UBALDO.
Tho' I am no ghoſtly father; yet, if you have
Some ſcruples, touching your lord, you wou'd be reſolv'd of,
I am prepar'd.
SOPHIA.
But will you take your oath
To anſwer truly thoſe?
UBALDO.
On thoſe orthodox lips, if you pleaſe,
A vow I dare not break, it being a holy book
I would gladly ſwear on.
SOPHIA.
To ſpare, Sir, that trouble,
I'll take your word, which, in a gentleman,
Should be of equal value. Is my lord then
In ſuch grace with the Queen?
UBALDO.
I fain would tell the truth
As decently as I could, yet the ſubject
May make me run out a little.
SOPHIA.
[55]
Oh! you would put
A fooliſh jealouſy in my head, that he
Hath gotten a new miſtreſs.
UBALDO.
One? a hundred!
But under ſeal I ſpeak it:—I preſume
Upon your ſilence, it being for your profit.—
Such a ſoldier, and ſuch a courtier never came
To Alba Regalis:—the ladies run mad for him!
Nay, there is ſuch a contention among them
Who ſhall engroſs him wholly, that the like
Was never heard of.
SOPHIA.
Are they handſome, Sir?
UBALDO.
Fie! oh, coarſe mammets: and what's worſe, they're old;
Some fifty, others threeſcore, and upwards!
RICARDO.
'Tis time I call him off.
[Hems!
UBALDO.
I could tell you of wonders great and ſtrange,
Of the deeds he has done,
(Ricardo hems!)
but matters
Of great import, for the preſent, call me hence—
Thoſe arrang'd,
I'll inſtantly return.
[Steps aſide.
SOPHIA.
There's ſomething more
In this than bare ſuſpicion!
RICARDO.
Save you, Madam!
Now you look like yourſelf—I've not beheld
A lady more complete—yet let me ſee,
[Examines her jewels.
[56] Yes, yes, I am certain I have ſeen a madam
Wear jewels of that water and dimenſions.
SOPHIA.
What madam, Sir?
RICARDO.
Nay, nothing: yet methinks
I ſhould this ruby know: yes, it is the ſame;
This chain of orient pearl, and this bracelet,
Have been worn before.
SOPHIA.
Why, Sir? how were they gotten, ſay?
RICARDO.
Not in the field with his ſword, upon my life.
[EUBAL. hems.
Plague on't, how faſt the minutes glide away!
[Aſide.
Pray you, fair lady, to excuſe my manners.
I left a letter in my chamber window,
Which I would not have ſeen on any terms:
Fie on my careleſſneſs—but this I'll ſoon diſpatch.
[Withdraws.
SOPHIA.
This is ſtrange! His letters ſaid theſe jewels were
Preſented him by the Queen, as a reward
For his good ſervice! What can all this mean?
Enter UBALDO.
UBALDO.
I was telling you of wonders, Madam:
SOPHIA.
If you are ſo ſkilfull,
Without premeditation anſwer me:
Know you theſe jewels?
UBALDO.
Mercy! how things will out!
But that I might, perchance, give you offence,
[57] And wrong my more than noble friend,
Your huſband (for we are ſworn brothers)
In the diſcovery of his neareſt ſecrets, I could—
SOPHIA.
Could? By the hope of that favour then,
Which you have for me, out with it!
UBALDO.
Nay, this is a ſpell ſo potent, that I
Cannot reſiſt.—Why, I will tell you, Madam;
And to how many ſeveral ladies you are
Beholden for your pretty trappings.—This was
The necklace of Paulina, a rich Courtezan;
Worn but a day, when ſhe married old Gonzago,
And left off trading,
SOPHIA.
Oh, my heart!
UBALDO.
This chain
Of pearl was a great widow's that invited
Your Lord to a maſque; and the weather proving foul,
He lodg'd in her houſe all night—and merry they were!
But how he came by it, I know not.
SOPHIA.
Perjur'd man!
UBALDO.
O, there's not a ſingle gem, or jewel in the court,
But may be at his command.
SOPHIA.
(Agitated)
I commend him!
But, I pray you, leave me
A little to myſelf.
[58] Enter RICARDO.
UBALDO.
You may command
Your ſervant, Madam: ſhe's ſtung to the quick.
[to RIC.
RICARDO.
I did my part: if this work not, hang me.
Let her ſleep as well as ſhe can to night; to-morrow
We'll mount new batteries!
UBALDO.
And till then leave her.
[Ex. UBAL. and RIC.
SOPHIA.
Ye Powers that take into your care the guard
Of innocence, aid me! for I am a creature
So forfeited to deſpair, hope cannot fancy
A ranſom to redeem me. I begin to
Waver in my faith, and make it doubtful
Whether the Saints, ſo canonized for
Their holineſs of life, ſinn'd not in ſecret,
Since my Eugenius is fall'n from his virtue
In ſuch an open faſhion. Could it be elſe
That ſuch a huſband, ſo devoted to me,
So vow'd to temp'rance,—for unhallow'd gifts
Should thus to wantons ſacrifice his fame?
Was't for this he left me?
Was it not enough to cloath me with the ſhame,
But he muſt make me wear their am'rous ſpoils!
Here will I tear them off; and with my tears,
Their poiſon waſh away!—Yet hold! who knows
But theſe are falſe and wanton knaves, who
Traduce his honor with the baſeſt views.
His long-try'd love a different tale relates,
And bids me not too raſhly cenſure him:
At leaſt theſe Lords with keener eye I'll read,
Ere I impute to him ſo foul a deed!
[Ex.
END OF ACT THE THIRD.

ACT IV.

[59]

SCENE I.

Enter EUGENIUS.
EUGENIUS.
THIS is a deſperate ſtraight, there's no avoiding;
I muſt compliance feign to all
Her paſſion urges, or—or what? only
That with my life my miſeries will end!
But were the pointed axe uplifted now,
My neck upon the block, I would not buy
An hour's reprieve, by ſuch a faithleſs barter!
Yet after all, Sophia may be falſe!
The viſit of theſe ſilken courtiers
Much alarms me, for they've been early train'd
In all the ſoft and wanton gallantries
That ſhake the eaſy faith of yielding woman:
I almoſt dread to aſk for council here!
[Looks on the Picture.
Ha! ſure I do not ſleep! or if I dream,
This is a terrible viſion—I'll clear
My eye-ſight—perhaps melancholy makes me
See that which is not!
Enter BAPTISTA.
BAPTISTA.
What is it there you ſee?
EUGENIUS.
[60]
Indeed, Baptiſta, 'tis but too apparent;
I grieve to look upon't—beſides the yellow,
That does aſſure ſhe's tempted—I think I ſee
A ſable colour ſpread its baneful hue
O'er ev'ry line of her once lovely face,
Confirming both her own, and my diſhonor!
BAPTISTA.
(Aſide.)
—Well may they ſay that monſter Jealouſy
Creates the food it feeds on!—Indeed,
I ſee no alteration.
EUGENIUS.
Fact, Baptiſta;
Make not yourſelf a pandar to her vices,
In labouring to palliate, what a maſk
Of impudence can't cover—Did woman e'er
In her will decline from chaſtity, but found means
To give her paſſion ſcope?—more poſſible
Is't with my ſingle arm to underprop
A falling tow'r—or in its violent courſe
To ſtop the forked lightning, than to ſtay
A wanton woman!
BAPTISTA.
Pray you temper the violence of your paſſion.
EUGENIUS.
Oh, my Baptiſta! I am headlong thrown
Into a gulph of miſery, and find
Myſelf paſt hope:—this figure of my idol,
So late that chaſte and lovely mirror,
Is to a magic glaſs transformed, and ſhews
Nothing but horror and deformity.
BAPTISTA.
I'm ſure you do her wrong.
EUGENIUS.
[61]
Have I refus'd a Queen,
Whoſe ſoft beauties had raviſh'd at firſt ſight
A hermit from his beads, and chang'd his pray'rs
To am'rous ſonnets, to preſerve my faith
Inviolate to thee; with the hazard of
My death with tortures, to be thus requited?
Yet hold—I will not curſe thee, Sophia,
Nor for thy falſhood rail againſt the ſex;
'Tis poor and common; I'll only
Whiſper unto myſelf, howe'er they ſeem,
Nor preſent, paſt, nor ages yet to come,
Have heretofore, can now, or ever ſhall
Produce one conſtant woman!
BAPTISTA.
This is more
Than the ſatiriſts wrote againſt 'em.
EUGENIUS.
There's no language
That can expreſs the poiſon of theſe aſpics,
Theſe weeping crocodiles, and all too little
That hath been ſaid againſt 'em:—but I'll mould
My thoughts into another form, and if
She can out-live the report of what I'll do—
Enter HONORIA.
BAPTISTA.
The Queen, Sir.
EUGENIUS.
In ſign of deep contrition for their error,
My lips that ſhunn'd the laſt night profer'd bliſs,
Thus on your footſteps ſeal their willing duty:
Chimerican darkneſs would not let me ſee,
What now with adoration I behold!
HONORIA.
[62]
This is more
Than I could hope, for my beauty ſtill admits
No rival.
[Aſide.
Wait our command at diſtance—you too have
Free liberty to depart.
[To Baptiſta.
BAPTISTA.
I am poor in manners,
But thank you, Madam, for the favour.
HONORIA.
Have you taken
Good reſt in your new lodgings?—I now expect
Your laſt reſolve, but adviſe maturely
Before I hear it.
Pray you riſe,
Your late neglect, I freely pardon.
EUGENIUS.
My ſoul's on fire.
HONORIA.
Yet, to give ſome allay
To this new fervor, 'twere good to remember
The King, whoſe eyes and ears are ev'ry where,
And what might follow a diſcovery.
EUGENIUS.
Danger's a phantom, Madam! tho' the King
In our embraces ſtood a looker on,
His torturers too, with ready cruelty
To drag me from your arms, it ſhould not fright me.
HONORIA.
Pauſe yet a little—
The bounties of the King, and what weighs more,
Your boaſted conſtancy to your matchleſs wife,
Should not too ſoon be ſhaken.
EUGENIUS.
[63]
The whole fabric
When I but look on you, is in a moment
Overturn'd, and as flowing rivers loſe
Their names, when by the ocean ſwallow'd,
In you alone all faculties of my ſoul
Are wholly taken up; my wife and King
Are nought but things forgotten.
HONORIA.
Can this be poſſible? Fortune here I thank thee,
For my purpoſe now is gain'd!
[Aſide.
EUGENIUS.
Wherefore ſtay ye, Madam? why muſe ye ſo?
HONORIA.
To think how poor, an empty nothing
Is man's conſtancy!
EUGENIUS.
Your beauties make it ſo
In me, ſweet lady.
HONORIA.
And 'tis my glory.
I could be coy now, as you were, but I
Am of a gentler temper. However,
In a juſt return of what I've ſuffer'd
In your diſdain, with the ſame meaſure grant me
Equal deliberation. I, e'er long,
Will viſit you again; and when I next
Appear, as conquer'd by it, ſlave-like wait
On my triumphant beauty!
[Exit.
EUGENIUS.
What a change!
And what a frown ſhe left at her departure!
I either way am loſt! Contempt and ſcorn
Beſet him cloſe, who has not pow'r to be
Either baſe or virtuous; where'er I look
The tempeſt thickens, and hope diſappears!

SCENE II.

[64]
Enter SOPHIA.
SOPHIA.
Tho' all they have alledg'd prove true or falſe,
Their foul intent is levell'd againſt my honor,
And therefore I've reſolv'd on ample vengeance,
Which ſhall be put in inſtant execution:
Who waits within? where are my noble gueſts?
Enter HILLARIO and CORISCA.
HILLARIO.
The elder, Madam,
Is drinking by himſelf to your Ladyſhip's health,
In muſkardine and eggs; and for a raſher
To 'tice his liquors down, he hath got a pye
Of marrow-bones, potatoes, and eringoes,
With many ſuch ingredients; and 'tis ſaid
He hath ſent his man in poſt to the next town
For perfumes, plunder'd from the hunted civet!
CORISCA.
And for the younger, ſuch a fuſs he makes
To prune and dreſs himſelf, as if this night
He were to play a bridegroom's part; but why,
I marvel much!
SOPHIA.
Are theſe ſame lodgings both prepar'd, and deck'd
As I directed.
CORISCA.
To the tittle, Madam!
SOPHIA.
Then fail not in a circumſtance therein
Set down, as you reſpect my future favor.
[Gives a paper; Hillario and Coriſca retire to read it
HILLARIO.
[65]
Madam, here comes the friſky Lord Ubaldo.
Enter UBALDO.
UBALDO.
Pretty one, there's gold
[To Coriſca.
To buy thee a new gown; and there's for thee,
[To Hillario.
Grow fat and fit for ſervice—Now am I
At fortune's top moſt round, and able to
Beget a giant!
(Aſide.)
O my better angel,
You now will ſhew your wiſdom, when you pay
Your huſband in his own coin; ſhall you ſit
Like a patient Grizzle, to be laugh'd at? No,
This is a fair revenge, ſo quickly let's retire.
SOPHIA.
But fair and ſoftly ſweet, my Lord; for thus
Shall I neglect your friend, to whom, by promiſe,
I'm equally engag'd.
UBALDO.
I muſt confeſs,
The more the merrier; but of all men living
Take heed of him! You may ſafer run upon
The mouth of a cannon when it's unloading!
SOPHIA.
I proteſt I do not underſtand you.
UBALDO.
I'll then expound it for your good; he is
Nought but a ſcurvy fiſh at beſt; the tub's
His weekly bath; he hath not drank for years
But ſaſafras and guiacum; and dry mutton's
His daily portion!
SOPHIA.
[66]
Bleſs me from him!
UBALDO.
'Tis a good pray'r, ſweet Lady; for
If my tongue burn not when I name Ricardo,
Gibbet me!
SOPHIA.
Your caution I'll reward.
UBALDO.
I do expect as much; ſweet, all perfection,
I think I've marr'd his market, come what may;
[Aſide.
—But when?
SOPHIA.
Why, preſently; follow my woman,
She knows where to conduct you, and will ſerve
You for a page to-night.—Be it your care
To miniſter at his toilet, and that with ſpeed;
[To Coriſca.
Delay takes from delight; a nectar poſſet
See be quickly brought into his chamber!
UBALDO.
Excellent Lady!—and a caudle too
I'th' morning, if ſo it pleaſe you.
CORISCA.
I will
Provide for you, my Lord, depend upon't.
Enter UBALDO, and CORISCA.
SOPHIA.
How cloſely they purſue me! for here comes
The other beagle.
Enter RICARDO.
Take purſe and all!
[Ricardo gives his purſe to Hillario.
HILLARIO.
[67]
Would this good company but often come,
I might make a pretty term on't—I doubt
Whether the fare theſe dolts have this way bought,
Will prove a gainful purchaſe.
SOPHIA.
For your ſake,
I've put him off; he only begg'd a kiſs,
And ſo we parted.
RICARDO.
He did not touch your lip?
SOPHIA.
Why ſure there was no danger in the touch?
RICARDO.
No? Quickly eat theſe ſcented lozenges,
Of forty crowns an ounce, or you're undone?
SOPHIA.
Wherefore? what can be th' virtue of 'em?
RICARDO.
I am compell'd to uſe 'em in abundance,
E'en when I talk with him, or elſe be poiſoned:
But I'll be free with you—he was once a creature,
It may be of Heaven's making, but long ſince
He is turn'd to a druggiſt's ſhop: the Spring and Fall
Hold all the year with him: that he lives, he owes
To Art, not Nature; ſhe has giv'n him o'er;
He moves like the fairy king, on ſcrews and wheels
Made by his doctor's recipe, and yet ſtill
They're out of joint, and each day want repairing:—
In a froſty morning,
You may thruſt him in a pottle pot; his bones
Rattle in his ſkin like beans toſs'd in a bladder;
If he but hear a coach, fumigation cannot ſave him
[68] From the chin evil. In a word, he is
Not one diſeaſe, but all; but being my friend,
I would forbear his character, as I would not
Wrong him in your good opinion.
SOPHIA.
The virtues you beſtow on him, to me
Are myſteries I know not—however,
Since my partiality for you in vain
I would conceal—this ſigh declares me your's.
RICARDO.
Poor—blind Ubaldo! He muſt take the maid.
SOPHIA.
Hillario!—be it your immediate care
To uncloath the gentleman, and quickly
See that you robe him in the ſattin veſt,
And lay the perfum'd night-cap on his pillow.
RICARDO.
Good: and for thy true and truſty ſervice,
This cloak, this ſword, and doublet, all are thine,
When I the anti-chamber quit.—
HILLARIO.
I take
Your word, ſweet Sir.
RICARDO.
Dear Lady, ſtay not long.
SOPHIA.
Expect me ſoon.
HILLARIO.
This is the way, ſweet Sir.
[Exeunt HILLARIO and RICARDO.
SOPHIA.
I was much to blame to credit their reports
Touching my Lord! who ſo traduce each other,
[69] And with ſuch virulence; tho' I preſume
They both are baſe enough; and yet I hope,
The means I have devis'd will ſhortly lead
To their recovery.
[Exit.

SCENE III.

A miſerable Lodging-room.
Enter UBALDO, in his flannel Waiſtcoat.
UBALDO.
What doſt thou mean wench?
Why doſt thou ſhut the door upon me? Ha!
My cloaths are ta'en away too! muſt I ſtarve?
Is this my lodging? I'm ſure the Lady talk'd
Of ſacks and poſſets, and a courtly chamber:
But rain water pelting thro' the lattice,
A torn petticoat to ſhroud this pallet,
And an old woman's biggen for a night-cap,
Are all the comforts they've doom'd me to!
Slight! 'tis either a pig-ſtye, or a priſon!
The windows are double barr'd with iron;
And if I could leap down, my neck were ſnapt.
I am betray'd! Rogues! Villains! let me out;
I am a Lord by the King's courteſy!
—Ah, that won't do—that title's now too common!
[Exit.

SCENE IV.

Another miſerable Room, into which there is a Caſement from UBALDO's.
RICARDO diſcovered riſing on his Hands, and Knees.
RICARDO.
Zounds! have you trap-doors, thro' which you like
To tumble men, three ſtories at a time.
UBALDO.
[70]
Stories? ay, waggiſhly told, no doubt,
At poor Ubaldo's coſt.
[Looks thro' the window.
Who makes that noiſe there? help, if you be man.
RICARDO.
I know not if I'm man or no!—Beſides,
I'm where I cannot help myſelf, and yet
I fain would ſee your viſage—Ubaldo!
Oh! then thou haſt chous'd thy friend, and fortune's ſmiles
Upon thee; thou'ſt brib'd that wanton lacquey
To throw me thus in durance vile; while thou
Hath ſtolen into the perfum'd robes, and gain'd
The coſtly veſtments ſhe deſign'd for me.
UBALDO.
Yes, truly, and in their bounty ſomewhat more!
RICARDO.
An upper blanket, which thou well can'ſt ſpare,
Kick'd from thy wanton chamber, would befriend
Me much in this extremity.
UBALDO.
A what Ricardo?—thou art mad!
RICARDO.
Why, haſt thou not
My ſcented night cap, and my ſattin veſt?
UBALDO.
Who, I? Bare as a winter robin-red-breaſt
Have they ſtript me! Prithee throw me
Thy cloak to cover me, for I m almoſt
Frozen to death.
RICARDO.
My cloak! I've none left:
I'm ſtrip't as bare as thou; and in return
They've given me, I ſee, the fool's caſt ſuit.
UBALDO.
[71]
O then we're both undone! lend me thy hand, and roar
A little with me for ſome friendly ſuccour.
[Comes thro' the window to Ricardo.
RICARDO.
Lady of the houſe!
UBALDO.
Grooms of the chamber!
RICARDO.
Gentlemen, milk-maids!
UBALDO.
Would you thus ſlay a pair of courtly Lords?
Enter HILLARIO in RICARDO's cloaths.
HILLARIO.
Hey day! not ſaid your pray'rs, and gone to ſleep?
Enter SOPHIA, CORISCA, Servants with lights.
UBALDO.
What, ſweet hoſteſs, muſt we be murder'd?
SOPHIA.
No, but ſoundly puniſh'd for your deſert.
RICARDO.
Your'e not in earneſt, I preſume fair dame?
SOPHIA
Judge as you find and feel; and now attend
To what I do irrevocably purpoſe:—
Forgetful of all hoſpitable duties,
You, with the defamation of my Lord,
Would fain have wrought upon my woman's weakneſs,
To yield my honour to your lawleſs ſports!
HILLARIO.
Mark that, I pray, my wanton maſters!
SOPHIA.
[72]
In doing this (I bluſh while I relate it!)
You have tranſgreſs'd againſt the dignity
Of man; who's bound by virtue to defend,
And not to violate fair female chaſtity!
But in the toils ye ſet, you're caught yourſelves;
And therefore, do not hope to find from me,
The common ſentence for offending man.
Such uſage you have forfeited; therefore,
Like the moſt ſlaviſh of your ſex, ſhall you be treated.
UBALDO.
How do you mean to uſe us?
SOPHIA.
Eaſe and exceſs of feeding, made you wanton:
A pleuriſy of ill blood you muſt let out:
By labour and ſpare diet refill your veins,
Or periſh with hunger. Bring here a diſtaff;
Tho' no Omphale, or I do miſtake it,
Nor you a ſecond Hercules: fetch it.
[Exit Servant.
As you ſpin well at my command, and pleaſe me,
Your wages in the coarſeſt bread and water
Shall be proportionably encreaſed.
UBALDO.
I'll ſtarve firſt!
SOPHIA.
That's as your Lordſhip pleaſes.
RICARDO.
I marvel!
What will be the deſtiny of poor Ricardo?
SOPHIA.
You ſhall have gentler work. I've oft obſerv'd
You proud to ſhew the fineneſs of your hand,
And ſoftneſs of your fingers: you ſhall reel
What he doth ſpin: deliver their materials.
[73] Now that you know your penance, fall to work,
Hunger will teach you to ſubdue your paſſions.
[Exit SOPHIA and Servants.
UBALDO.
I ſhall ſpin a fine thread here;
I cannot look
Upon ſuch devices, but they'll put me in mind
Of rope-makers.
HILLLARIO.
A good conceit truly,
For if you are induſtrious enough,
You'll juſt ſpin rope enough to hang you both,
Againſt my maſter does return from camp
To paſs this honorable ſentence on you!
RICARDO.
Let me have my cloaths again, I pr'ythee;
I was bountiful unto thee.
HILLARIO.
Oh, fie!
Forget ſuch vanities; my livery there
Will ſerve you well enough to work in;
Beſides, they're paſt the wearing of a Lord;
Nay, mine by promiſe, you yourſelf do know
You have no holidays coming, nor will I work
While theſe and this
(purſe)
laſts, and ſo, if you pleaſe,
Shut up your ſhop, and take yourſelves to reſt.
[Scene cloſes on UBALDO and RICARDO.
[Exit HILLARIO.

SCENE IV.

Enter LADISLAUS, HONORIA, EUBULUS, FERDINAND, &c.
HONORIA.
Now, you know all, Sir, with the motives why
I forc'd him to my apartment; therefore
I do preſume, you doubt not now my honour.
LADISLAUS.
[74]
I would not, though the whimſy was a ſtrange one.
EUBULUS.
There was no danger in't; you muſt conceive, Sir,
Being religious, ſhe choſe him for a chaplain,
To read old homilies to her i'th' dark;
She's bound to it by her canons.
LADISLAUS.
Still tormented
With thy impertinence!
HONORIA.
By yourſelf, dear Sir;
I was ambitious only to overthrow
His boaſted conſtancy in his conſent;
But for fact, I contemn him; I was never
Unchaſte in thought; I labour'd to give proof
What pow'r dwells in this beauty you admire ſo,
And when you ſee how ſoon it hath transform'd him,
As ſtrait you ſhall,
And with what ſuperſtition he adores it,
Determine as you pleaſe.
[Exit
LADISLAUS.
Well, I'll obſerve the iſſue.
EUBULUS.
How had you took this, General, in your wife.
FERDINAND.
As a ſtrange curioſity, but Queens
Are privileg'd 'bove ſubjects, and 'tis fit.
[Exeunt.

SCENE V.

Enter EUGENIUS and BAPTISTA.
BAPTISTA.
I'm glad you're ſo convinc'd, for ſhe is true,
Or art and Nature both are leagued againſt us.
EUGENIUS.
[75]
Fool that I was to doubt—I know ſhe's conſtant,
And in my loving ne'er look'd ſo fair.
[Looks at the picture.
In ſhort, Baptiſta, I've a viſion ſeen
This morning, makes it plain; I never was
In ſuch ſecurity as at this inſtant.
As ſoon as the Queen appears
Obſerve th' encounter.
Enter HONORIA, EUBULUS, LADISLAUS, FERDINAND, and Attendants behind.
BAPTISTA.
She is already
Enter'd the liſts.
EUGENIUS.
And I prepar'd to meet her.
BAPTISTA.
I know my duty.
[Going.
HONORIA.
Not ſo; you may ſtay now
As a witneſs of our contract.
BAPTISTA.
I obey
In all things, Madam.
HONORIA.
Where's that reverence
Or rather ſuperſtitious adoration
Which, captive-like, to my triumphant beauty
You paid laſt night? No humble knee! nor ſign
Of vaſſal duty? then you freely ſwore
Your certain loſs of life, in the King's anger,
Was far too mean a price to buy my favor;
And, that falſe glow-worm fire of conſtancy
To your wife, extinguiſh'd by a brighter light
Shot from our eyes.
EUGENIUS.
[76]
I do remember.
I once ſaw ſuch a woman.
HONORIA.
Ha!
EUGENIUS.
And then
She did appear a moſt magnificent Queen;
And what's more, virtuous, tho' ſomewhat ſhaded
With pride and ſelf opinion.
EUBULUS.
Call you this courtſhip?
EUGENIUS.
And ſhe was happy in a royal huſband,
Whom envy could not tax, unleſs it were
For his too much indulgence to her humour.
EUBULUS.
Pray, Sir, obſerve that touch, 'tis to the purpoſe.
EUGENIUS.
You yet retain
Some part of her angelic form, but when
Envy to the beauty of another woman
(One ſhe had never ſeen but in this picture)
Had ſpread infection thro' her veins.
HONORIA.
I like not this!
[Aſide.
EUGENIUS.
Deſire in all th' enticements it could ſteal
From majeſty, however diſguis'd, had took
Sure footing in the kingdom of her heart,
Once the throne of chaſtity—how in a moment
All that was gracious, great, and glorious,
Like ſeeming ſhadows wanting real ſubſtance,
Vaniſh'd.
HONORIA.
[77]
How his reaſoning works upon me.
EUGENIUS.
Retire into yourſelf, fair Queen;
There, your own breaſt is ſtrongly nerv'd by virtue,
Be but as you were; and there is no office
So low to which a man may ſtoop,
But I will gladly bow to.
But as you play and juggle with a ſtranger,
Varying your ſhapes like Thetis, tho' beauties,
Such as are by poet's raptures painted,
Were all in you united, you would paſs
Pity'd, perhaps, but not by one regarded!
HONORIA.
I'm diſenchanted;
And ever, from this moment, ſhall deſpiſe
The flatterers who've deceiv'd me.
LADISLAUS.
I'm charm'd
With what I've ſeen and heard!
[They come forward.
HONORIA.
How have I wander'd
Out of the track of honour; and miſlead
By the o'erweening pride and flattery
Of fawning ſycophants,
Could never meet till now a paſſenger
That in his charity would
Stay me in my precipice to ruin.
How ill (when you know all)
Have I return'd your goodneſs to me,
The horror in my thoughts oft turns me marble;
What can I do to ſhew my deep contrition?
[Kneels to the King.
LADISLAUS.
[78]
Pray you riſe.
HONORIA.
Never, till you have forgiv'n and receiv'd
Unto your love and favour, a chang'd woman:
My ſtate and pride turn'd to humility,
Henceforth ſhall wait on your commands.
LADISLAUS.
All is forgot, and this fair change ſhall prove
A ſecond and a happier union to us!
HONORIA.
Why did you make me riſe, my loving Lord,
Till with a free confeſſion of a crime,
Unknown as yet to you, I aſk'd a ſuit!
LADISLAUS.
Whate'er it be, my lips do thus confirm it.
[Kiſſes her hand.
HONORIA.
Know then, in envy of this good man's wife,
I did ſuborn thoſe ready courtly ſlaves,
Ubaldo and Ricardo, to corrupt her.
EUBULUS.
I marvell'd if the miſchief were all out.
HONORIA.
How far I have prevail'd, I'm ignorant:
But my requeſt, good Sir, in fine, is this,
That you, for th' honour of this gallant knight,
Would let us travel thither, the journey
Being but ſhort, to call them home.
LADISLAUS.
This hour
We will put on.
BAPTISTA.
[79]
I, if you pleaſe, your royal harbinger.
[Exit.
EUGENIUS.
And I your faithful follower.
LADISLAUS.
I thank you:
Let me infold you in my arms; your ſervice
'Gainſt the Turk, compar'd with this, weighs nothing.
EUGENIUS.
I am ſtill your humble ſoldier.
LADISLAUS.
My true friend.
FERDINAND.
And ſo you're bound to hold him.
EUBULUS.
Such a plant,
Imported to your kingdom, and here grafted,
Wou'd yield more fruit than all the idle weeds
That ſuck up your reign of favour.
LADISLAUS.
In my will
I'll not be wanting:—prepare for our journey.
Hence to the winds all doubts and jealous fears,
For now Honoria like herſelf appears!
[Exeunt.

ACT V.

[80]

SCENE I.

EUGENIUS's Caſtle.
Enter SOPHIA, CORISCA, and HILLARIO.
SOPHIA.
ARE they then ſo humble?
CORISCA.
Hunger and hard labour
Have tamed 'em, Madam;—at firſt they bellow'd
Like ſtags ta'en in a toil, and would not work
For ſullenneſs.
HILLARIO.
I do remember that they ſtopp'd their noſes
At the fight of beef and mutton, as coarſe feeding
For their fine palates; but now, their work being ended,
They leap at a barley cruſt, and hold cheeſe-parings,
With a ſpoonful of pall'd wine pour'd in their water,
For feſtival dainties.
CORISCA.
When I examine
My ſpinſter's work, he trembles like a 'prentice,
And takes a box on the ear, when I ſpy faults
And botches in his labour, as a favour
From an angry miſtreſs.
HILLARIO.
The other too reels well
For his time; and if your Ladyſhip would pleaſe
[81] To ſee 'em, they'd much delight you
With their hungry dialogues—
SOPHIA.
But ſhould they grow rebellious in their priſon
When we enter?
HILLARIO.
Ne'er fear't: I'll undertake
To lead them out by th' noſe, with a coarſe thread
Of the one's ſpinning, and make the other
Reel after, without grumbling.
CORISCA.
Dear Madam,
'Twill help to drive away your melancholy.
SOPHIA.
And ſo they've voluntarily confeſs'd,
That by the Queen they're ſent to taint me, in
My loyalty to my Lord?
CORISCA.
'Twas the main cauſe
That brought 'em hither.—
SOPHIA.
I'm glad I know it,
For at the height I'll therefore be reveng'd.
Enter SERVANT.
SERVANT.
This inſtant, Madam,
Signior Baptiſta 'lighting from his horſe,
Has brought aſſurance of my Lord's return.
SOPHIA.
How! and do I ſtand trifling here? away!
—See that thoſe pamper'd lordlings are ſecur'd,
And wait my further orders.—
[To Hillario.
[Exit SOPHIA.

SCENE II.

[82]
UBALDO and RICARDO ſitting melancholy on wooden ſtools.

A DIALOGUE DUET.

I.
UBALDO.
Alack!
RICARDO.
Oh dear!
UBALDO.
How baſe!
RICARDO.
How queer!
BOTH.
Peers mighty thus to treat.
[heigh-ho!
UBALDO.
I'll ſtorm—
I'll roar—
BOTH.
Zounds! ope the door!
—In vain we lambkins bleat!
[heigh-ho!
II.
UBALDO.
Though plot,
RICARDO.
Nor love,
BOTH.
Your heart could move,
Ah! mitigate your cruel, cruel ſentence [...]
[oh!
UBALDO.
Since Lords,
RICARDO.
A pair,
BOTH.
From ſtately chair,
Are humbled to the ſtool of repentance!
oh!
UBALDO.
Heigh-ho!
RICARDO.
I can return you ſigh for ſigh, Ubaldo.
(Thanks to their ſpare, and windy dieting!)
RICARDO.
Oh! what a ſtain on our nobility!
UBALDO.
[83]
So I grant; and yet, methinks, it will rub out
As ſoon as ſome that I could name—but hark,
Our keeper enters; we muſt work or ſtarve.
Enter HILLARIO and CORISCA.
HILLARIO.
Come, work away, my noble maſters, and
Loſe no time, 'tis precious with handicrafts;
You'll find it in your commons.
RICARDO.
Commons call you it?
The word is proper; I myſelf have graz'd
But four and twenty hours upon your commons,
And you may ſee through me!
HILLARIO.
How would you like an airing out abroad,
Would it not be a favour?
RICARDO.
If you'll be
An honeſt yeoman phewterer, feed us firſt,
And walk us after.
HILLARIO.
Yeoman phewterer?
Such another word to your governor, and you go
Supperleſs to bed for't!
UBALDO.
Nay, even as you pleaſe.
The comfortable names of breakfaſt, dinner,
Collations, ſupper, beverage, are words
Worn out of remembrance.
RICARDO.
O for the ſteam
Of meat in a cook's ſhop!
UBALDO.
[84]
O that I ever ſaw this beauteous fury!
RICARDO.
Or look'd on women but as fiery meteors!
HILLARIO.
Silence, ye courtly manufacturers;
No more of this!
CORISCA.
Methinks you have no cauſe
To repent your being here!
HILLARIO.
Have you not learnt,
When your 'ſtates are ſpent, a trade to live by,
And never charge the workhouſe?
CORISCA.
Work but tightly,
And we will not uſe a napkin in the houſe
But of your ſpinning.
UBALDO.
I would this hemp
Were turn'd to a halter!
HILLARIO.
You ſee, my maſters, what
Croſs-grain'd ſtuff they now and then
Make Lords of, ſince you two cut down
To ſo little profit!—Come, will
You march?
RICARDO.
A ſoft one, good general, I do beſeech you.
UBALDO.
Let it be to ſlow time, gallant commander,
For my poor legs reluctantly do follow
Their weary maſter.
HILLARIO.
[85]
Yet, how ſtrange to tell,
Laſt night when fancy pip'd the march of Love,
They to the perfum'd chamber quickly friſk'd it;
But come, no thought of extacy, that's paſt:
In;—and there pray againſt temptation!
[Shuts them into an Inner Chamber, and Exit.

SCENE III.

Enter SOPHIA and BAPTISTA.
SOPHIA.
Whether I am moſt ſurpriz'd or charm'd, I know not;
And ſhall I ſee this Queen whoſe beauty could not ſhake him?
BAPTISTA.
Ere this, their Majeſties are at your gate.
SOPHIA.
But how that flatt'ring portrait did you gain,
With which you've wrought ſo bright a miracle!
BAPTISTA.
I had it ſketch'd from that bright miniature
Which decks the centre of your brother's ſhield:
But you'll excuſe the theft that friendſhip urg'd.
SOPHIA.
My friendſhip ſhall repay it; but 'tis fit
This jealouſy ſhould have a final check,
And that, where leaſt he looks for't, ev'n from me!
Suppoſe I uſe the happy means I have
T' expoſe his wound, and thus compleat his cure?
BAPTISTA.
'Twere well, if you have art t' atchieve it.
SOPHIA.
[86]
That trumpet ſpeaks them near: lay ſtill my heart,
While I but feign this momentary coolneſs,
And then, with double tranſport, thou ſhalt greet him!
[Exit SOPHIA and BAPTISTA.

SCENE IV.

Another apartment. (Loud muſic.)
Enter LADISLAUS, EUGENIUS, EUBULUS, FERDINAND, HONORIA, and Attendants.
EUBULUS.
Not Jove attended on by Hermes, was
More welcome to the cottage of Philemon,
And his poor Baucis, than your gracious ſelf,
Your matchleſs Queen, and all your train,
Are to your ſervant and his wife.
LADISLAUS.
Where is ſhe?
HONORIA.
I long to ſee her, as my now great rival.
EUBULUS.
And I to have a ſmack at her—'tis a cordial
To an old man, better than ſack and toaſt,
Before he goes to ſupper.
EUGENIUS.
Ha! my houſe thus turn'd
To a wilderneſs? no wife nor ſervants ready,
With all rites due to majeſty, to receive
Such unexpected bleſſings?
You aſſured me
[Enter BAPTISTA.
Of better preparation: hath not
[87] Th' exceſs of joy tranſported her beyond
Her underſtanding?
BAPTISTA.
Juſt now parting from her,
I gave her your directions.
EUGENIUS.
How ſhall I crave
Your Majeſty's patience? ſure my houſe are mad,
Or by ſome fiend in envy of my glory,
A deadly lethargy is thus thrown o'er 'em.
Enter HILLARIO with Servants.
But that the preſence of the King forbids it.
This ſword ſhould make a maſſacre among ye—
Where's your miſtriſs?
HILLARIO.
Firſt, you are welcome from the wars, good Sir!
Then know, ſhe ſays ſhe's ſick; but as for that
Whether ſhe feign or no—you muſt enquire
Of ſtudents vers'd in female conſtitutions!
No notice ta'en of my ſine cloaths!
(Aſide
EUGENIUS.
It cannot be; tho' ſhe were on her death-bed,
And her ſpirit e'en juſt departing, here ſtand they,
Could call it back again, and in this honor
Give it a ſecond being! bring me to her—
I know not what to urge, my gracious Leige,
For this wild conduct.—
[Exit EUGENIUS, HILLARIO, and Servants.
EUBULUS.
There's no climate
In the world, I think, where one jade's trick or other
Reigns not in woman!
FERDINAND.
[88]
You were ever bitter
Againſt the ſex, my Lord.
LADISLAUS.
This is very ſtrange!
HONORIA.
Inferior women
Have their faults as well as Queens.
LADISLAUS.
O, now ſhe appears.
Enter EUGENIUS, SOPHIA, and CORISCA.
EUGENIUS.
The injury you conceive I have done you
Diſpute hereafter, and in your perverſeneſs,
Wrong not yourſelf and me.
[Apart to SOPHIA.
SOPHIA.
I am paſt my childhood
And need no tutor.
EUGENIUS.
This is the King,
To whom I am engag'd 'till death, for all
I ſtand poſſeſt of.
SOPHIA.
My humble roof is proud, Sir,
To be the canopy of ſo much greatneſs.—
LADISLAUS.
My own praiſes riſing
In ſuch pure air as your ſweet breath, fair Lady,
Cannot but pleaſe me.
SOPHIA.
In my duty,
I kiſs her Highneſs' robe!
HONORIA.
[89]
You ſtoop too low
To her, whoſe lip would meet with yours.
SOPHIA.
However
It may appear prepoſt'rous in women
So to encounter, 'tis your pleaſure, Madam,
And not my proud ambition:—do you hear, Sir?
[To Eugenius.
Without a Magic Picture in the touch,
I find your print of wanton kiſſes
On the Queen's lips!
EUGENIUS.
Upon your life be ſilent!—
And now ſalute theſe Lords.
SOPHIA.
Since you'll have me,
You ſhall ſee I'm experienc'd in the art,
And can play it freely!
(To Ferdinand.)
You are a brave man, Sir,
And do deſerve a free and hearty welcome:
Be this the prologue to it.
EUBULUS.
An old man's turn
Is ever laſt in kiſſing—I have lips too,
However cold ones, Madam!
SOPHIA.
I will warm 'em
With the fire of mine!
EUBULUS.
And ſo ſhe has!—I thank you.
I ſhall ſleep the better all night for't.
EUGENIUS.
[90]
You expreſs
The boldneſs of a wanton courtezan,
And not a matron's modeſty; take up,
Or you're undone for ever!
SOPHIA.
How! Is that
The Queen ſo careful of me in your abſence?
—She knew how tedious 'twas for a young wife,
To paſs away her melancholy hours
Without good company; ſo cull'd me out
Two ſprightly Lords from her own courtly ſtore
To do me all good offices: as ſuch,
Employ'd by her, I hope I have receiv'd
And entertain'd them; nor will they depart
Without th' effect, ariſing from the cauſe
That brought 'em hither.
EUGENIUS.
Monſtrous impudence!
SOPHIA.
I beg your Royal pardon
While I go out, and bring thoſe to your preſence
Who ſhall atteſt what I have ſaid.
[Exit SOPHIA and Attendants.
LADISLAUS.
How now! turn'd ſtatue, Sir?
EUGENIUS.
Fly, quickly fly
From this curſt habitation, or yon gorgon
Will make you all as I am; on her tongue
Millions of adders hiſs, and every hair
Upon her wicked head's a ſnake more dreadful!
EUBULUS.
[91]
Theſe are the fruits
Of marriage! an old Bachelor, as I am,
And will continue ſo, is not troubled
With theſe vagaries.
LADISLAUS.
It ſuits not with your fortitude,
To let your paſſion thus tranſport you.
[To EUG.
HONORIA.
Reflect, that you were once deceiv'd in me.
EUGENIUS.
Hath ſhe not all confeſs'd, and vilely fled
To fetch her pamper'd paramours,
Deck'd out in triumph o'er my ſoul diſgrace?
See where they come! but this ſhall—
[EUGENIUS draws his ſword; but ſtarts back on the nearer approach of SOPHIA, who leads down UBALDO, and RICARDO, attended by HILLARIO and CORISCA.
How's this! more myſteries in ſtore?
EUBULUS.
What have we here!
SOPHIA.
You muſt come on and ſhew yourſelves.
UBALDO.
The King.
RICARDO.
And Queen too!
LADISLAUS.
I remember
This face, when it was in a better plight:
Are not you Ricardo?
RICARDO.
[92]
I was once ſo, pleaſe
Your Grace.
HONORIA.
And this thing, I take it
Was once Ubaldo!
UBALDO.
I am now I know not what.
RICARDO.
We thank your Majeſty for employing us
To this ſubtle Circe!
SOPHIA.
You ſee, Madam,
How I have cur'd your ſervants; and what favors
They with their gallantry have won from me!
You may, as they are phyſic'd, I preſume,
Now ſafely truſt them; they have learnt, beſides,
Their ſeveral trades to live by, and paid nothing
But cold and hunger for them, and may now
Set up for themſelves; for here I give them over.
UBALDO.
Then hang all trades!
I'll find a new one; that is, to live honeſt.
[Exeunt Ubaldo and Ricardo.
HILLARIO.
I am ſorry for this general gaol delivery;
Theſe are my fees, however, ſo I'm content.
[Exit, ſtrutting in his fine cloaths.
SOPHIA.
As for you, Sir!—
[To Eugenius.
EUGENIUS.
Which way ſhall I intreat you?
I am not worthy of it; my Sophia!
My beſt Sophia! here, before the King,
The Queen, theſe Lords, and all ſurrounding us,
[93] I do renounce my error, and embrace you
As the great example to all after times,
With reverence to imitate.
SOPHIA.
Not ſo, Sir!
I ſtill hold off, although I here have clear'd
My doubtful innocence.
When you went to the wars,
I ſet no ſpy upon you, to obſerve
Which way you wander'd, though our ſex, by nature,
Is ſubject to ſuſpicions; for I fix'd
My confidence on your try'd loyalty:
But to deal as you did, 'gainſt your reaſon,
With magic nonſenſe to ſurvey my actions,
Was more than woman's weakneſs: therefore know,
And 'tis my boon unto the King, I do
Deſire a ſeparation from your bed;
For I will ſpend the remnant of my life
In pray'r, and meditation!
EUGENIUS.
O take pity
Upon my weak condition, or I am
More wretched in your innocence, than if
I had found you guilty. Have you ſhewn a jewel
Out of the cabinet of your rich mind
To lock it up again?—She turns away—
Will none ſpeak for me? Shame hath robb'd me
Of the uſe of utterance!
LADISLAUS.
Since you have conquer'd, Madam,
You wrong the glory of your victory,
If you uſe it not with mercy.
EUBULUS.
[94]
Have I liv'd to ſee
But one good woman, and ſhall we for a trifle
Have her turn nun! I'll firſt pull down the cloyſters!
—'Tis not enough, ſweet Dame, that you are good,
We muſt have ſome o' th' breed!
Shew me but two ſuch more,
I'll love myſelf, and, may be—marry!
HONORIA.
She that yet
Ne'er knew what 'twas to bend but to the King,
Thus begs remiſſion for him.
SOPHIA.
O dear Madam,
Wrong not your greatneſs ſo.
ALL.
We are all ſuitors!
SOPHIA.
I perceive
There's no reſiſting your entreaties,—ſince
My own fond heart demands his reſtoration!
But ſhould I pardon what's already paſt,
Who can ſecure me that he will be free
From hideous Jealouſy hereafter?
EUGENIUS.
I
Will be mine own ſecurity!—Go ride,—
Feaſt,—revel,—banquet,—and with whom you pleaſe.
I'll ſet no watch upon you; and from hence,
(Bluſhing to think how paſſion has miſled me)
This cheating ſemblance of thy beauteous ſelf
I throw away,
And only bow to nature, and to thee!
[He tears the Picture from his n [...]k, and kneels to SOPHIA.
BAPTISTA.
[94]
If from her ſov'reignty you ne'er had ſwerv'd,
No ſtratagem of mine had been devis'd
To practice aught on your credulity.—
EUGENIUS.
Blind as I was—
BAPTISTA.
But ſince it lur'd you from that fatal gulph
To which ſuſpicion blindly leads her train,
I do applaud me for the deed.
SOPHIA.
And I
My plaudits join; for now my mind's at eaſe,
And every ſoft idea bids him welcome!
Within, great Prince, our humble board is ſpread,
And waits the honor'd ſanction of your preſence.
LADISLAUS.
We will attend you:—Your hand, fair hoſteſs,
Unleſs it feed the good man's jealouſy!
EUGENIUS.
Oh, no, my liege!—his tyrant reign's diſſolv'd.
For now our mutual confidence ſhall prove,
The guardian-knot, to bind our future LOVE!
FINIS.
Notes
*
Demonologia, a treatiſe written by James the Firſt.
Distributed by the University of Oxford under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License

Citation Suggestion for this Object
TextGrid Repository (2020). TEI. 4340 The magic picture a play Altered from Massinger By the Rev H Bate. University of Oxford Text Archive. . https://hdl.handle.net/21.T11991/0000-001A-5949-F