SCENE I. A ſea proſpect. Two ſailors are diſcovered tumbling down the rocks; they roll into the middle of the ſtage; and as they meet upon the ground they ſtare at each other.

HOLLO, what cheer?

A vaſt, belay your jaw a little, until I have overhaul'd my limbs, and ſee that none of them are unſhipped. So, ſo, all's right and tight.

Ha, where are we?

Why we are ſomewhere; and that's ſome ſatisfaction; we are upon an iſland, and I hope it is inhabited; for my ſwimming has made me hungry; a mouthful of ſalt water is as good to me as a glafs of bitters. I have found my appetite, and the next thing, I hope, I ſhall find, will be ſome proviſion to it.

We ſhall find ſomething to eat, or be eaten ourſelves, I ſuppoſe; for the wild beaſts of theſe woods, are as ſharp ſet as we are, and keep a better look-out too.

Well, well, though we are caſt away, do not let us be caſt down; here's a ſpring of freſh water, let us take a hatful, and be merry over it; it is better being here than as we were laſt night, in the ſea, ſwimming about like ſo many blind puppies in a horſe-pond; and as to eating, it is very well we did not give the ſharks a ſupper.

Patience, my pretty archer, they are priſoners.

They are villains.

I grant it fair reſentment, but now they are captives, we muſt not inſult them. I am an Engliſh officer; it is our country's character, to face the foe, but not af⯑flict the wretched.

An pleaſe your honourableneſs, while you hold a council what's to be done with them, ſuppoſe Ned and I belay them to yon bamboo tree, back to back, like three skewered rabbits ready for ſpitting.

Secure them, lads, but hurt them not.

No, no, we won't hurt them, but only kick and Frenchmen them a bit.

My brave deliverer, for my ſafety thus I thank you.

Let me beg you'll order your men to carry thoſe vil⯑lains to my father's court; he is an Indian, and king of this country. Be not amazed that I am of your com⯑plexion, and ſpeak your languaget my mother came from England big with child of me, and here, upon thoſe rocks, was the ſhip ſhe was in caſt away, her life, almoſt by a miracle, ſaved. After I was born, the king married her, he loved me as if I was his own child. If you are in doubt of truſting yourſelf with me, here will I ſtay, drink the clear ſpring wa;er with you. bring you the ſeaſon fruit to feed on, dreſs your cave with every fine fowl's feather, make your bed with wild beaſts skins, and henceforth be your handmaid.

An't pleaſe your noble worſhip's honour and glory, we have brought up the three Frenchmen to their moorings; we ſpliced their hands abaft, then took a round twin about their ſhoulders, ſo their faces are hauled cloſe alongſide one another, and they look juſt like the ſign of the three logger-heads.

Come, friends, follow your captain and me, and bring theſe raſcally Frenchmen with you.

How many more of our ſhip's crew have you ſeen?

No body, ſir, an pleaſe your commodoreſhip, ex⯑cept the wild Iriſhman with the hard name, he's rarely ſous'd, faith; he wouldn't ſtay to dry himſelf upon the rock as we did; there he tacks, ſee there, at the larboard ſide of the ſugar plantation, juſt to leeward of us.

Bring him with you, and follow us up the ſavannah.

SCENE II. A Wood.

Arrah faith the devil ſhall do himſelf good with me if ever I go into the water again before I have learn'd to ſwim; by my ſhoul they have made a fool of my father's ſon, to fill both my two ears full of fine ſpeeches about what a fine country I ſhould tread upon, when I put my feet into ſalt water; I wiſh I had ſtaid in the cellar of the ſhip, and ſo in⯑deed I wou'd, only I was afraid the captain wou'd have ſail'd away without me.

Hollo, what cheer?

What cheer? why very bad cheer, by my ſhoul I am wet as water itſelf.

How did you get a-ſhore?

I ſwam upon my hands and feet acroſs an empty ſmall beer barrel.

Where's the barrel? I'm deviliſh dry, and ſmall beer is worth drinking when ſtrong is not to be had.

Don't I tell you it was empty, and faith ſo it was, for I fill'd it myſelf with ſweet ſalt water, as freſh as [6]I cou'd get it, and made a hole with my cut and thruſt in the ſhore of the ſand, and there I put all the ſmall beer to hide it for my own drinking.

Let's bear a hand, come, after the Captain

Ah, my jewel, and remember what plunder we got, we'll all three go halves in it.

SCENE III. A Palace.

The Indian king and attendants are diſcovered feated. To the tune of the witches in Macbeth.

Suffer, ſovereign, my indulgent father, ſuffer me thus to bow before your throne, and by the planets which the world, the quickening ſun, that like a jewel ſhines ſet in mid heaven, and the ſilvery moon whoſe beams direct our fiſhers to their prey, by thoſe and all the ſtudded ſtars I beg you'll grant what I requeſt.

Speak, and 'tis thine; attend ye ſpirits of the woods and ſprings, ye rulers of the air, ye fiery beings, and ye dark demons of inferior earth, be witneſs to my words; by the brave ſouls of our great forefathers, who now reſide in every green ſavannah, I will grant, for thy mother's ſake, as well as thine, whate'er Sachema aſks.

Give your conſent; behold this warrior, ſay he may be mine.

White man, who are you? and from whence came ye?

In England, gracious king, my ſovereign reigns, and by his order I was ſent to check the audacious inſults of his enemies, and with me two hundred of as brave Britons, as ever clapp'd match to a cannon's touch hole; but a dreadful ſtorm defeated our beſt ſkill, we were forc'd, at the back of your iſland, to run our ſhip aſhore, the reſt your daughter better can relate.

As I beneath a cotton tree was ſat, by a long chace fatigued, my bow unſtrung, yon three lewd ruffians ſeiz'd upon your daughter; reſiſtance on my ſide I found was vain; I begg'd, I wept; I pray'd in vain to them; to heaven I ſent my ſhrieks, and this brave man by heaven was ſent to me; he attack'd the rob⯑bers, he ſaved my life, and preſerved me from de⯑ſtruction.

Thrice, thrice, thrice, thanks brave Engliſhman be yours, bring forth the Wampum belt, wear it brave Sir.

And for a farther token of our friendſhip with thee, we'll ſmoke the calumet of peace.

So I am nobody at all I ſuppoſe, but I'll be after taking my tobacco for all that; arrah muſhee cuſhee captain, deſire one of thoſe charcoal gentlemen to be after putting a whiſper upon the king, about myſelf; for ſince I find you all about to do nothing at all, I'll come and help ye, becauſe I don't love to be idle.

By my ſhould man and a cute thing it is; I'll carry it home with me, and becauſe the cuſtom houſe officers ſhan't ſeize it for being undutiful, I'll crack it in halves in three places, and then the devil a rap will I pay them for it.

Go Oran Outong, draw our troops together, and bring an hundred battoes down the creek; and you, brave Sir, ſhall, if you pleaſe, be captain, we'll fight beneath your ſtandard.

Pleas'd indeed I ſhall be to revenge our country's cauſe on theſe encroaching French; I'm ready.

Ay, ay, and may that man among us be cut into four pound pieces, and put into the devil's pickling tub, that won't face a Frenchman, I ſay.

Well ſaid Ben, amen, meſsmate; I have but one life to loſe, but I am for making a good voyage with it. However, though it be but a ſhort one, I wou'dn't be one of your fine ſave all folks, who wou'd burn out life to a ſnuff, and end their days in a ſtink.

If we ſucceed againſt theſe haughty French, my daughter, as you ſaved her, ſhall be yours.

May it pleaſe your majeſtyſhip, avaſt a moment, you've promiſed our captain that he ſhall have [9]your young gentlewoman, when we have drubb'd the French monſieurs jackets. But, may I be ſo bold—have you ne'er a tight veſſel or two for Ned and I to lay alongſide of, that when our captain puts a wedding upon the ſtocks, we may ſtow in a birth by him, and ſo all launch for the land of matrimony together.

Do you gain glory, and I'll grant rewards. Now let reſentment ſpeed the pointed ſpear, twang the tough bow, and wing the whizzing ſhaft; and now captain cheer your honeſt tars, and I'll my ſubjects muſter for the field.

Come my lads, remember we are Engliſhmen; me⯑thinks I ſee Britannia lift her head, and caſt her eyes acroſs the ocean, ſeeing us here, her jolly hearts, ven⯑turing to wave her Engliſh flag with glory.

And pleaſe your worſhip, let me give you one huzza for the honour of Old England.

SCENE IV. A Wood.

Well, if ever I put my foot upon Iriſh ground again, tho' it is upon the higheſt mountain in all Wales, ſtand clear Mr. Dogherty and Jemmy Condrum, ſee what a ſmall piece of ſhelaley I'll bother them with. By my ſhoul they told me London was all paved with gold and ſilver pebble ſtones; and that all the women there would run after an Iriſhman; the Devil a woman ran after me there, only my landlady, becauſe ſhe thought I was going without paying my rent (well, bad luck now, the ſame another time. I was born to be un⯑happy, ſo I'll make myſelf very eaſy about it.) Oh! faith, here comes a fine lady, as black as ink.

Ah, faith, madam, your moſt humble ſervant, you're as handſome as a dark night.

White man, your language is not diſpleaſing to me; do not think me bold, we Indians are above diſguiſe, and never ſpeak the thing that is not; but why ſtand you idly here, your companions are all embarked in the battoes to attack the fort, why went not you with them?

Becauſe I forgot to put myſelf in mind of it; I would be getting your conſent to marry you, becauſe we may never ſee one another again; and I'll tell you a good joke, faith, as you're coal black, and I am coal white, you know all our children will be pye balls.

If you would wed me, you muſt win me.

How, my jewel, I'll play with you at backgamm for yourſelf.

Can you toil the lion, ſpear the leopard, ſpear the alligator, climb the rocks to get the ſea bird's eggs?

The devil of any of all theſe can I do.

What was you bred to?

To being a gentleman.

And what do gentlemen do?

Nothing at all, faith, nor that neither.

How do they live then?

By eating and drinking.

Where do they get it?

Where it is to be had, you black toad.

What do they live upon?

Sometimes upon their eſtates, and ſometimes upon their honour.

What is this honour like?

Like this long ſword, my dear, there's honour for

you; and if you ſhow me any man that has us'd you ill, nation to my ſould but I'll give him five or ſix inches of it in his guts to cure him of the belly ach.

How came you to ſave your ſword in the ſea?

While I was ſwimming, child, I put my ſword be⯑twixt my teeth to keep the ſalt water out of my mouth.

Can you turn turtle? Can you fiſh?

I can drink like fiſh.

It is a cuſtom here, that no perſon takes a wife be⯑fore he has done ſomething to deſerve her, or can prove he has art and induſtry enough to maintain her. Now I do not find any of your gentlemen's qualifications can do that; you ſhall go this inſtant to do one thing to de⯑ſerve me, and I'll maintain you afterwards.

Ha, ha, I'll go immediately,

White man come back, you do do not know what it is you are going to do.

Never mind that, I'll do the thing firſt, and you ſhall tell me what it is afterwards.

Attend then; behind theſe lime trees in a rock cut cave, there lives the witch of the woods, ſhe ſpoils our ſugar canes, and tears up our tobacco plants; now, if you can ſteal upon her, at ſhe lies aſleep, and cut her head off, you'll do a deed our king will pay you for.

Come along, my dear, and you ſhall only ſhew me her body, and let me alone to find her head out myſelf; but I can't help laughing, to think, if I cut off this old witch's head when ſhe's aſleep, how fooliſh ſhe'll look in the morning without it; when ſhe wakes and miſſes her head, ſhe'll be down in the mouth; for you know, child, if you was to loſe your own head it muſt put you out of countenance.

I hope my princeſs will not think me rude, but while our warriors are executing their enterprize, I flatter my⯑ſelf I have diſcovered ſomething will amuſe you. The ſailors have left behind them a wild man, who has pro⯑feſſed himſelf my lover, I have perſuaded him there's an old witch, in a cave hard by, and if he can cut off her head, he is to have me, and a large plantation for this pains. With your highneſs's leave I'll hide in the cave the large paſteboard image you have made; and af⯑ter he has in the dark cut off the head, I can make him believe ſhe will haunt him for it.

Pray let me ſee this man, and while I examine him, you may prepare the image.

Who are you, ſir?

Any body, at your ſervice, madam.

From whence came you, ſir?

From a little potatoe eſtate, in the Queen's county, where all the reſt of us lives; and by my ſhoul, my father would be glad to ſee you there; for he has been blind theſe ten years.

Have you a houſe there?

Faith have I, and as pretty a houſe as ever you ſet your loving eyes upon, tho' there was a little accident hap⯑pened to the top of it; for it ſet itſelf on fire, and I run away by the light of it; but I have got the key of the [15]ſtreet door in my pocket; and that is ſome ſatisfaction, you know.

How came you to take a fancy to the ſea, ſir?

I never did, faith, but it took ſuch a fancy to me yeſterday, that I thought it would never let me get out of it.

How came you then to go to ſea?

Why I had a mind to make my fortune among the iſlands upon the continent; for I had read all the hiſtory books of antipathy; ſo I vowed to be doing ſomething, as well as paddy Julius Caeſar did; ſo I agreed with one captain Bowwo to carry me over ſea with him; but I told him I would not ſtand to any damages; for if the ſhip ſunk in the middle of the ſea, before we got half over, he muſt get another to carry me in, or the Devil a rap I would give him for my paſſage.

Well, ſir, pray go on.

So then I ſtepped head foremoſt into the ſhip; but when they ſet it a running, oh, I thought I ſhould die every minute, and I got drunk with the ſmell of the ſea water; I called out to them to ſtop the ſhip, but the Devil a word would they hear on their ears about it; ſo at laſt we could ſee no land, but what was quite out of ſight, ſo I clapped my back againſt the great big ſtick that grew out of the middle of the floor of the ſhip, to look about me; but then the clouds turned black in the face, the waves in the water began to grow big belly'd, and the Captain ſwore, and the ſail⯑ors cry'd, a lake, a lake, but the Devil a lake or onion either could I ſee; then they bothered about, and ſaid, Run the ſhip aſhore, Run the ſhip aſhore; but I want⯑ed to run myſelf aſhore, and not the ſhip; and ſo I [16]told the Captain, for I would be going upon dry land, I ſaid, tho' I was up to my neck in the mud.

It is time, the witch is aſleep.

Good luck go with you, ſir.

As to that, my jewel, whether good luck goes with me, or is after following me, never heed that; but, madam, I hope you'll be after putting yourſelf in mind, after I have cut off this old witch's head, that this lady ſhall be man and wife to me; no, I don't mean ſo nei⯑ther, that I ſhall be man and wife to this lady. Devil burn me, that's not it neither; I mean that as we are, one fleſh; ſo when the parſon joins us we ſhall be two together.

SCENE V. A Cave.

Now draw your ſword, ſhe lies with her head to⯑wards us, but be ſure you don't wake her.

Not till I have cut her head off, my dear, and then if ſhe wakes what matters it.

You muſt creep upon your hands and knees.

Then I ſhould have ſomething to put under my feet, you know, my dear, for fear I ſhould make a noiſe.

In, in, in.

Our princeſs wants you, and our monarch has order⯑ed rewards to the Engliſh ſailors.

Arrah, faith, honey, and here's her ſkull ſure enough; ſhe was deviliſh light headed, upon my ſhoul; for it is not ſo heavy as a good potatoe.

Now, ſir, come with me.

Stay, my jewel, let us ſhut up the door of the cave with a great big ſtone; for fear the old witch ſhould have a mind to come out for her head again.

Do you think ſhe can walk without her head?

Why there's nothing at all in that; there was St. Patrick's horſe once loſt his head at the battle of Clogher, and he galloped nine miles without it, and never would have miſs'd it, only as he croſſed a river he ſtooped down to drink, ſo then he found he had loſt it.

Give me my head, my head.

Devil burn me if I do, ſo do not bother me, be eaſy can't you; for if you'll believe me, you become the loſs of your head as well as any woman in all Ireland.

Give me my head.

That I would with all my heart, my dear, only I want it myſelf, becauſe two heads, you know, are better than one.

Come, go with me to the court, and aſſiſt at the triumph and entry the King makes.

Ah, and by my ſhoul, I'll be after ſhowing this head to the King; ſo hear you mrs. witch, by my ſhoul, I don't know which to ſpeak to, the head or the body; here one of you anſwer me; but if you can't, why tell me ſo. Stay here a little, juſt while I loſe myſelf, and then, if you find me, I'll give you your own head for nothing, and mine at the ſame price.

Give me my head.

SCENE VI.

Avaſt, Ned, let's overhaul our plunder.

Hollo, what's this thing without a head.

It looks like the ſign of the good woman.

Give me my head.

Where does her voice come from?

Why out of her ſtomach you fool you, becauſe ſhe has been forc'd to eat her words lately.

If I had her for a wife, now wou'd our children have any brains?

There's nothing in that my jewel, for my father bought a cropt mare to breed horſes without ears, but it wou'd not do.

Let's carry her to the captain.

Ah, and take me along with you, becauſe you know as I carry her head in my fiſt, I can put in a word for her, as ſhe can't ſpeak for herſelf.

SCENE VII. The Court diſcovered.

Give me my head.

How now, what's all this?

Arrah, never ſeem to mind it, my jewel, it is nothing at all, not that neither, only this old witch wants her head again, and I want to ſell it; and, faith, if every body that wanted a head would be after coming to me, by my ſhoul I ſhould have three halves of the world for my cuſtomers.

May it pleaſe your honourableſhip's nobleneſs, our crew has no mind to come into the dock of matrimony, and for my part I don't care to ſail any longer without a conſort; ſo, if you pleaſe, I ſhould like this gentle⯑woman to ſtow under my hatches.

By my ſhoul but ſhe was after being promis'd to me.

No, ſir, you are better provided for; for ſince you have got that lady's head, it can be no harm to you to take the reſt of her body.

But I'll live ſingle firſt all the days of my life, and a day afterwards; ſo, my jewel, I beg you'll ſpeak to the king for to make me a gentleman of horſe, or a maid of honour in the ſame troop.