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A Philoſophical, Hiſtorical, and Moral ESSAY ON OLD MAIDS. VOL. III.

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A Philoſophical, Hiſtorical, and Moral ESSAY ON OLD MAIDS. BY A FRIEND TO THE SISTERHOOD.

IN THREE VOLUMES. VOL. III.

To unfold the ſage
And ſerious Doctrine of Virginity.
MILTON's Comus.
[...]. ARISTOPHANES.
Nemo apud nos, qui idem tentaverit; nemo apud Graecos, qui unus omnia ea tractaverit.—Res ardua, vetuſtis novitatem dare, novis autoritatem, obſoletis nitorem, obſcuris lucem, faſtiditis gratiam, dubiis fidem, omnibus vero naturam, et naturae ſuae omnia. Itaque, etiam non aſſecutis, voluiſſe, abundè pulchrum atque magnificum eſt. PLINII Hiſt. Nat. Praefatio.

LONDON: PRINTED FOR T. CADELL, IN THE STRAND. M.DCC.LXXXV.

AN ESSAY ON OLD MAIDS.

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PART V. ON CHRISTIAN AND OTHER MODERN OLD MAIDS.

CHAP. I. On Saint Gregory of Nyſſa, and his Panegyric on Virginity.

I RETURN from the chaſte and pious poets to the proſaic encomiaſts of virginity. On examining the eccleſiaſtical writers who have merited this title, I find they are ſuch a hoſt, that I fear the attention of my reader would deſert me, if I attempted to enumerate and deſcribe [2] them. I ſhall now, therefore, confine myſelf to four ſucceeding fathers of the church, who are entitled to our regard by the higheſt reputation for ſanctity and eloquence; and from theſe I ſhall only ſelect, as briefly as I can, ſuch paſſages as ſeem to throw a particular light on the ſiſterhood, and are at the ſame time remarkable for ſtrength and originality either of thought or expreſſion.

The firſt of the four is St. Gregory of Nyſſa, a younger brother of the great St. Baſil, and a friend and correſpondent of the poetical St. Gregory, who formed the principal ſubject of our laſt chapter. The St. Gregory of whom I am now to ſpeak, was ordained biſhop of Nyſſa, in Cappadocia, by his brother St. Baſil, in 372; in 385 he preached the funeral ſermon of the empreſs Placilla; and by a late writer he is ſaid to have died in 396, with the venerable title of Father of he Fathers.

The panegyric which this ſaint compoſed on virginity is the more remarkable, as we [3] have poſitive evidence that he was himſelf a married man. This circumſtance, however, is very far from having rendered him a languid advocate for the excellence of a ſingle life; on the contrary, he begins his encomium by declaring, ‘that whoever ambitiouſly hopes to beſtow ſuch praiſe on virginity as is adequate to its merit, reſembles a perſon who fooliſhly ſuppoſes that he may encreaſe the magnitude of the ocean by a drop of his own ſweat *.’

The ſiſterhood will, I hope, excuſe in their holy advocate the indelicacy of this expreſſion, for the flattering energy of the ſentiment.—But to proceed with St. Gregory.

Having aſſerted the dignity of this celeſtial excellence, he laments his own grovelling condition, in being precluded by marriage from a ſhare of this glory. ‘A knowledge [4] of the charms that belong to celibacy, is to me,’ ſays St. Gregory, ‘what food is to the ox, when, turned to a full rack, he is prevented from reaching it by his harneſs.’ —Having forcibly deſcribed his own mortifications by this ſtriking image, he enlarges on the various evils that ariſe trom matrimony, which he conſiders as a great ſource, not only of unhappineſs, but of guilt.—"Look," ſays he, ‘at the paſſing ſcene—marriage is the general prologue to all the tragedies of life.’ —After painting the conjugal ſtate in the moſt gloomy colours, he delineates, with a brilliant pencil, the pure delights of virginity, which he repreſents as a certain art and power of eluding all the vexations of earth, and attaining, even on this ſide the grave, the beatitude of heaven.

Having declaimed againſt wedlock with much freedom, or rather contempt and ſcorn, the ſaint ſeems to apprehend that his zeal for chaſtity has carried him too far, and [5] he makes the following remarkable apology.

"Let no one," ſays he, ‘imagine that I intend to cenſure the eſtabliſhment of marriage; for I am aware that it has not wanted the approbation of God: but, ſince nature ſufficiently inſtigates mankind to people the world by this connection, it would be ſuperfluous labour to compoſe an encomium on marriage, which finds, in the alluring voice of pleaſure, an eternal advocate and patron; while virginity is in ſome meaſure the antagoniſt of nature *. My ſentiments on matrimony,’ continues the ſaint, ‘are theſe:—we ought to prefer to it the care of our celeſtial intereſt, and yet not to deſpiſe the perſon who makes a wiſe and temperate uſe of this inſtitution.’

Though the ſaint, in the preceding ſentence, has conſulted his own perſonal credit [6] as a married man, he very candidly proceeds to declare, that ‘although marriage may be regarded as a kind of ſafe port againſt the tempeſts of licentious paſſion, yet virginity affords a ſecurer refuge, and a more tranquil harbour.’

He contends, that man, as originally created, was perfectly free from all animal deſires; and, inſtead of receiving pleaſure from the gratification of ſenſual appetite, delighted only in the contemplation of his Maker. He alledges, it is evident from ſcripture *, that Adam had no connubial intercourſe with Eve till after their expulſion from Paradiſe, when woman was condemned to the pains of child-birth, as a puniſhment for diſobedience. "Therefore," continues the ſaint, ‘as we loſt Paradiſe by the ſenſual offence of our firſt parents, it is in our own power to regain it by a voluntary ſacrifice of all, ſenſual pleaſures. As the perſons who have wandered from [7] their own country, and wiſh to return to it, begin by quitting the place to which they have ſtrayed; in the ſame manner, ſince marriage was the laſt ſtep which completed our ſeparation from Paradiſe, I would adviſe thoſe who are ambitious of returning thither, to begin by relinquiſhing marriage, the laſt ſtage *, as it were, in the road between earth and heaven.’

St. Gregory proceeds to prove the dominion of virginity over death, which he accompliſhes by a ſingular mode of reaſoning:—"The production of children," ſays he, ‘does not miniſter ſo much to life as to death, ſince their birth only leads to their diſſolution; but they who devote their perſons to virginity, place themſelves as a kind of iſthmus between life and death, to ſtop the fury of the latter. The devaſtation of death is thus prevented; for, as the power of fire cannot ſubſiſt without fuel, ſo the force of death cannot prevail, unleſs marriage ſupplies him with his prey.’

[8]The ſaint now enters on a more minute deſcription of virginity; which does not, he ſays, conſiſt merely in perſonal purity, but in diſcharging all the duties of a tranquil and ſpotleſs mind. He borrows, on this occaſion, from his brother St. Baſil the remarkable ſimile, which I have already mentioned, of the ſucceſſive circles produced in water by the impulſe of a ſingle ſtone; an image which he uſes to illuſtrate the agitation produced in a peaceful mind by the admiſſion of any one inordinate deſire.— ‘Let virginity,’ ſays the ſaint, ‘be the foundation on which the works of virtue are raiſed; for, excellent and honourable as it is, if this purity of perſon is not united to integrity of mind—if the whole life of a virgin does not correſpond to this profeſſed excellence—if ſhe is blackened by incontinence of ſpirit—her virginity is but an earring in the noſe of a ſow, or a pearl trodden under the feet of ſwine *.’

[9]I muſt not omit the whimſical conceit with which St. Gregory aſſerts the honour of Miriam, the ſiſter of Aaron, as the primitive model of true virginity. Having deſcribed her dancing with a timbrel in her hand, after the miraculous paſſage through the Red Sea, he imagines that this muſical inſtrument is mentioned in ſcripture as a ſymbol of her chaſtity, on account of the ſimilarity, which he diſcovers between virginity and the timbrel—a wonderful ſimilarity! which Gregory has explained in language that I forbear to copy, leſt the chaſte eyes of the modern ſiſterhood ſhould be ſhocked by the expreſſive images of this fanciful ſaint.

In a former part of my work I had occaſion to remark, that Miriam was not entitled to this diſtinction, as ſhe, in all probability, was a married woman. The genius and talents of this fair Hebrew ſeem, indeed, to have operated like thoſe of a modern fine lady, who, eclipſing her huſband by the brilliancy [10] of her ſpirit, reduces him to ſuch inſignificance, that he is rarely mentioned.

But to conclude this brief account of St. Gregory. In the ſubſequent part of his diſcourſe, he endeavours to ſettle the juſt medium between luxury and extreme abſtinence, as he is far from being a friend to that rigorous diſcipline by which the health of many a monaſtic recluſe has been deſtroyed. The twenty-fourth and laſt chapter of his treatiſe is very remarkable; for, inſtead of declaiming, like moſt of the fathers, againſt the depravity of the times, he ſpeaks of his own age as abounding in good examples.— "Sanctity," ſays he, ‘is now, if ever, in ſo flouriſhing a ſtate, that it wants but little to reach the ſummit of perfection.’ —He concludes, by recommending it to thoſe who wiſh to lead a virgin life, to put themſelves under the guidance of an experienced and venerable conductor.

CHAP. II. On St. Ambroſe, and his ſeveral Compoſitions in Praiſe of Virginity.

[11]

THE Latin fathers of the church were by no means inferior to the Greek, in the zealous veneration which they paid to virginity. The chaſte devotees of Italy found an ardent, indefatigable advocate and patron in the celebrated St. Ambroſe, who was unexpectedly raiſed, by the voice of the people, from a civil ſtation to the rank of an archbiſhop; and, having filled the epiſcopal throne of Milan about twenty years, ended his active and glorious life in that city at the age of 57, in the year 394.

This eminent writer devoted ſeveral diſtinct performances to the conſecrated virgins. There are three of his productions that particularly claim our attention, and of theſe I ſhall ſpeak as they occur.—The firſt, [12] and moſt elaborate, is a Treatiſe on Virgins, divided into three books, and addreſſed to his ſiſter Marcellina; who, hearing that he had preached with ſingular eloquence on this intereſting topic, and being unable to attend his public diſcourſes, requeſted from her brother the particulars of his doctrine.

Saint Ambroſe begins his treatiſe with ſingular humility, in comparing himſelf to the ſpeaking aſs of Balaam. He then takes occaſion, from the feſtival of St. Agnes, to celebrate the excellence of that virgin martyr, a Roman damſel, diſtinguiſhed by her rank and beauty, who, with miraculous fortitude, at the age of thirteen, preferred the tortures of perſecution to the rich offers of a Pagan lover, and periſhed by the ſword in the beginning of the fourth century. It may be worth remarking, that the merits of this infant martyr have given riſe to many the moſt ſpirited of pious panegyrics; and that her name has been extolled by a ſucceſſion of biſhops, ſaints, and poets, from [13] the vehement Ambroſe to the tender and elegant Maſſllon, biſhop of Clermont, whoſe works contain a moſt beautiful and pathetic ſermon on the feſtival of this lovely martyr.

From the praiſe of Agnes, St. Ambroſe proceeds to a general encomium on chaſtity, which was unknown, he ſays, or imperfectly preſerved, through all the nations of the heathen world.—"But how," ſays the ſaint, very candidly, ‘can the human underſtanding comprehend what nature has not included in her laws *?’ —He then endeavours to prove, that celibacy is an inſtitution of God, and heaven the true country of virgins. He expreſsly aſſerts that the preſervation of chaſtity makes an angel, and the loſs of it a devil . He compares the condition of the wife, condemned [14] to the pains of child-birth, with the happy freedom of the conſecrated maiden. He makes a very ſubtle and powerful addreſs to parents, perſuading them to atone for their own offences, by the early conſecration of their virgin daughters; an exhortation which muſt have contributed very cruelly to increaſe the number of wretched and involuntary Old Maids, as many ſuperſtitious and ſelfiſh parents were undoubtedly ready to make their own peace with Heaven, at the expence of their unfortunate offſpring.

Saint Ambroſe mentions, with exultation, the ſwarms of pious damſels that haſtened to receive the veil from his hand, not only from the neighbouring cities of Italy, but from the diſtant regions of Mauritania. He exhorts the young virgins to diſregard all domeſtic impediments to their religious deſires, and to embrace a monaſtic life in expreſs oppoſition to the authority of their parents. He endeavours to juſtify this bold advice by a remarkable anecdote, which [15] concludes the firſt diviſion of his treatiſe, and which I ſhall copy, to render my fair readers acquainted with the ſingular ſtyle of this ſaint.— ‘If you believe not the words of Heaven,’ cries Ambroſe, ‘yet believe examples. In our memory, a damſel, once noble by her worldly rank, and now more ennobled by her attachment to God, being urged to marriage by her parents and relations, fled for refuge to the altar; and where can a virgin ſeek a better aſylum, than that holy ſpot where the ſacrifice of virginity is preſented? But even here ſhe was troubled with impious importunity. She ſtood by the altar of God as the offering of modeſty, as the victim of continence. 'Why are you ſo anxious for my nuptials?' ſhe exclaimed to her relations—'I am betrothed already. You offer me a huſband, but I have found a better. Exaggerate the riches, boaſt the nobility, proclaim the power, of the party you propoſe; I have [16] choſen Him to whom no one can be compared; rich in the world, powerful in dominion, pre-eminent in heaven. If you have ſuch to offer, I do not refuſe the option; but if you find not ſuch, your conduct towards me is rather envious than provident.'—One of her relations, obſerving the reſt were ſilenced, abruptly ſaid, 'What if your father were living, would he ſuffer you to remain unmarried?'—The virgin anſwered, with new religious fervour, and more temperate piety, 'On this account, perhaps, he died, that he might not prove an impediment to the ſanctity of his daughter.'— This reply concerning her father proved a kind of prophecy to her relation, as he alſo expired ſoon after it, and the virgin ſucceeded in her holy purpoſe. Obſerve, ye maidens, this reward of devotion! Beware, ye parents, of a ſimilar offence!’

Saint Ambroſe, having thus magnified the excellence of virginity in the firſt diviſion [17] of his diſcourſe, propoſes, in the ſecond, to inſtruct the young virgin in the particulars of her duty; and, to guard himſelf from the imputation of arrogance, he offers to his fair diſciples, not a collection of ſevere precepts, but of ſplendid examples. Having exhorted them to imitate the humility of the Virgin Mary, and the fortitude of the martyr Thecla, he relates a recent inſtance of female chaſtity and reſolution in the intereſting adventures that befel a young and beautiful virgin of Antioch, who, on her refuſal to worſhip the Pagan Divinities, was dragged into a public brothel, where her chaſtity was expoſed to the moſt imminent danger, but was happily preſerved by the fervour of her eloquence, and the ſincerity of her virtue. She made a convert and a friend of the heathen ſoldier who had taken an active part in the outrage ſhe endured, and inſpired her perſecutor with ſuch pity and eſteem, that he attempted, at the hazard of his own life, to preſerve the purity which he had deſigned to violate. By an exchange [18] of dreſs, he contrived the eſcape of the virgin, but was himſelf condemned to die for the pious deception. The heroic virgin bravely ruſhed from her concealment to intercept the fate of her generous deliverer. They mutually contended for the glory of dying for each other. Their religious heroiſm was derided by the barbarity of perſecution, and the only indulgence they obtained, was that of periſhing together.

It is remarkable, that this pathetic little ſtory has employed the pen of a famous French poet, and of an Engliſh philoſopher of equal eminence. The Theodore of Corneille, as he informs us himſelf, was founded on this anecdote related by St. Ambroſe; and, among the juvenile works of our great Boyle, we find the martyrdom of Theodora and Didymus. But the tragedy of the ſublime poet, and the narrative of the benevolent philoſopher, are both ſunk into ſimilar neglect; a circumſtance ſufficiently accounted for by a lively remark of Voltaire, who obſerves, very juſtly, on this play of [19] Corneille, that ‘he choſe the ſubject becauſe he had more genius than taſte;’ an obſervation, perhaps, as applicable to the Engliſh philoſopher as to the French poet; and certainly ſtill more applicable to the Latin ſaint; for Ambroſe has related theſe adventures in a quaint and conceited ſtyle, full of indecency and affectation. I have therefore declined a tranſlation of the paſſage, from the perſuaſion that my readers would be more entertained by a ſhorter and more ſimple recital of this affecting ſtory. I ſhall add to it the curious remarks which Corneille has made on St. Ambroſe, to conſole himſelf for the ill ſucceſs of his tragedy. —"* Certainly," ſays this great, though unequal poet, ‘we may congratulate ourſelves [20] on the purity of our theatre, in ſeeing that a ſtory, which forms the moſt beautiful ornament in St. Ambroſe's ſecond book upon virgins, is found too licentious to be endured. What would they have ſaid, if, like that great doctor of the church, I had exhibited Theodora in a houſe of infamy, if I had deſcribed the various agitations of her ſoul while ſhe remained in that ſcene, if I had expreſſed the trouble that ſhe felt in the moment when ſhe ſaw Didymus enter? It is here that this great ſaint diſplays the triumph of his eloquence, it is for this ſpectacle that he particularly invites the virgins to open their eyes.’

[21]Such are the reflections of Corneille, in the epiſtle dedicatory to his unfortunate Theodora; and doubtleſs it was a conſolation to the poet, in his recent diſgrace, to recollect that he was infinitely more delicate than the canonized archbiſhop of Milan.

In truth, the ancient fathers of the church were ſo free in their anecdotes and expreſſions, that, in giving the moſt guarded account of their diſcourſes, I am not without fear of ſometimes offending my more dainty readers; but if that misfortune ſhould happen to me, I earneſtly conjure them to let their cenſure fall, not on the humble undignified author of this Eſſay, but on thoſe high and hallowed prelates, whoſe compoſitions on this nice topic I thought myſelf obliged to review. I would not willingly admit into this chaſte work a ſingle expreſſion that could force even the prudes to bluſh; but if thoſe ladies of nice imagination ſhould ever find me betrayed into ſuch an offence, I intreat them, inſtead of cenſuring me, to congratulate themſelves on the happy refinement [22] of the times, in which it is impoſſible to tranſcribe the compoſitions of many a ſaint, without incurring the charge of indelicacy.

The third book of St. Ambroſe opens with a recital of many pious precepts, delivered to Marcellina, the ſiſter of our ſaint, by the pope Liberius, on the day when ſhe received the veil from his hands. The points which the pontiff particularly recommended were, temperance and taciturnity the latter is perpetually enjoined by the fathers, as one of the capital perfections in a conſecrated virgin. St. Ambroſe pays his ſiſter the compliment of acknowledging, that her virtue had not only equalled, but even exceeded, the diſcipline of Liberius, and ſpecifies her great merit in the articles of abſtinence and prayer. Yet, notwithſtanding the extreme ſanctity of her character, he preſents to her a long admonition concerning the dangers that attend the gaiety of nuptial entertainments, and the wanton enormity of dancing. He then anſwers a [23] queſtion of Marcellina's, on a very delicate topic, Whether the religion which forbids ſelf-deſtruction, allows the virgin to deſtroy her own life for the preſervation of her faith and her virginity? St. Ambroſe decides the point, by the example of Pelagia, a virgin of Antioch, who, at the age of fifteen, threw herſelf into a river to eſcape from licentious perſecution. The particulars of Pelagia's death are ſingularly ſtriking, and the flouriſhes of St. Ambroſe, in relating her ſtory, not leſs ſo. The ſpirit of this young martyr induced her virgin ſiſters, and even her mother, to ſhare her fate. St. Ambroſe deſcribes this heroic family advancing, hand in hand, to the brink of a torrent, with their perſecutors behind them; and he makes theſe undaunted females addreſs the river in the following expreſſions:— ‘Behold the water! who forbids us to be baptized? Let the water receive us, which is the ſource of regeneration—let the water receive us, by which virgins are made — let the water receive us, [24] which opens heaven, cloſes hell, hides death, and produces martyrs *.’ —The ſaint relates, that they added to this addreſs a ſhort prayer for the decent preſervation of their bodies; "after which," ſays he, ‘unbinding their garments, ſo as to guard their modeſty, and yet leave their ſteps free, and then joining hands, as if to lead a dance, they plunged together, into the deepeſt part of the flood .’

Beſides the example of Pelagia, St. Ambroſe reminds his ſiſter of the reſolution diſplayed by a chaſte female of their own [25] family, who periſhed, he ſays, in the ſevereſt tortures without a groan or a tear.

In the cloſe of his elaborate treatiſe, St. Ambroſe enters into a long and very warm vindication of his own conduct. He had been accuſed, it ſeems (and certainly with juſtice) of alluring young maidens to relinquiſh the natural idea of ſettling themſelves in marriage, and to take the monaſtic vow. Inſtead of denying, he glories in the charge. "Can that conduct," exclaims the ſaint, ‘be conſidered as a crime in me, which has always reflected honour on the prieſthood, to ſow the ſeeds of perfection, and promote an attachment to virginity?’ —He then proceeds to examine, whether his doctrine can be cenſured, either as diſhoneſt, or new, or unprofitable; and his reaſoning on theſe three points is highly curious:—"If you call it diſhoneſt," ſays the ſaint, ‘you muſt alſo apply that appellation to the life of the angels; for they neither marry, nor are given in marriage. Can it be condemned as a novelty? I [26] conſent to abjure all things as novelties, which are not taught us by Chriſt; but does he not deliver the ſame doctrine, when he ſays, 'There are eunuchs which have made themſelves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven *.' Virginity is therefore ſanctified by a celeſtial voice, and recommended by the precepts of our Lord.—But ſince we have thus proved, that the doctrine of continence is neither diſhoneſt nor new, let us enquire if it can be reckoned unprofitable. I have heard many people exclaim, that the world is periſhing—that the human race will become extinct — that wedlock is ruined. I only aſk, in reply, did ever any man ſeek a wife without being able to find one?—If any one thinks that the human race will be diminiſhed by the conſecration of virgins, let him conſider, that where there are few virgins, there are fewer men. Where the devotion to virginity [27] is frequent, there the number of men is much greater. Obſerve what multitudes are annually admitted to the veil in the churches of the Eaſt, and of Africa. The men born in this country, are fewer than the virgins that are conſecrated there *.’

With the citation of this curious fact, I ſhall cloſe my account of St. Ambroſe's larger treatiſe on virgins, as the reſidue of that work conſiſts only of paſſages from ſcripture very whimſically united.

The ſecond compoſition of our illuſtrious ſaint, on this intereſting topic, is entitled, "An Exhortation to Virgins." It was written as a compliment to Juliana, an opulent widow, who, having devoted her whole family, conſiſting of a ſon and three daughters, to a religious life, employed her fortune in building [28] a church at Florence, which ſhe requeſted St. Ambroſe to conſecrate. Upon this ceremony the ſaint introduces Juliana in his diſcourſe, extolling to her children the excellence of virginity in oppoſition to marriage. He makes her declare, that although ſhe had a good huſband, ſhe laments that ſhe was ever married; and that nothing can conſole her for having forfeited, in her own perſon, the grace of virginity, but the hope of proving the mother of holy virgins. But the moſt remarkable paſſage in this ſingular work is a very whimſical pun. St. Ambroſe, deriving the word nubere, to marry, from nubes, a cloud, purſues his conceit with great ſolemnity, and gravely demonſtrates the ſimilitude between a married woman and a heavy exhalation *. The diſcourſe contains many ſentiments and precepts, [29] exactly ſimilar to thoſe of the preceding treatiſe, and concludes with an encomium on the piety of Juliana.

The third work, which St. Ambroſe devoted to the holy ſiſterhood, has two different titles, being ſometimes called The Inſtitution of a Virgin, and ſometimes, A Diſcourſe on the perpetual Virginity of the Virgin Mary, which St. Ambroſe very zealouſly ſupported againſt Bonoſus, a biſhop condemned by the council of Capua, for the oppoſite opinion. The ſaint alledges ſix arguments in favour of the point which he intends to prove; but, as the Catholic critics juſtly obſerve that ſome of theſe arguments have more wit than ſolidity, I ſhall decline an account of them, from a reverence to the hallowed perſonage of whom they ſpeak.

CHAP. III. On St. Chryſoſtom, and his Panegyric on Virginity.

[30]

IF the pious virgins of Italy had reaſon to admire the zeal which the holy Ambroſe diſplayed in their behalf, thoſe of Conſtantinople enjoyed a patron and paſtor yet more admirable in the famous St. Chryſoſtom, who equalled the archbiſhop of Milan in his enthuſiaſtic veneration for celibacy, with the inſinuating advantage of a ſuperior eloquence. This talent, from which he received the appellation of Chryſoſtom, or the golden mouth, had raiſed him from the condition of a ſequeſtered monk, to preſide over the clergy of the Eaſtern empire: but his elevation, though propitious to his glory, was fatal to his peace. The auſterity of a hermit was ill ſuited to the manners of a corrupt metropolis. The inflexible [31] prelate engaged in a dangerous quarrel with the empreſs Eudoxia, and, after ſuſtaining his epiſcopal office nine years, under the viciſſitudes of triumph and diſgrace, he expired in 407, at the age of ſixty, and in the midſt of hardſhips inflicted on him as a perſecuted exile.

I have already had occaſion to quote ſome paſſages from this accompliſhed ſaint, in ſpeaking of the unorthodox cohabitation of prieſts and virgins; a licentious, or at leaſt an offenſive cuſtom, which Chryſoſtom had the honour of ſuppreſſing, by his eloquent invectives. In theſe we have ſeen, that the holy father beſtowed on virginity the moſt magnificent praiſe; but I am yet to give an account of a long and regular panegyric, which he compoſed expreſsly on this favourite topic.

He opens this elaborate treatiſe with a ſevere condemnation of all heretical virgins, whom he ſinks to a condition below that of the Chriſtian adultereſs. He uncharitably repreſents the Pagan Old Maid as an immediate [32] miniſter of the devil; nay, he will not allow that ſhe could be a virgin; for, although her perſon was pure, yet her ſoul, the more important part, was corrupted:— "And what," cries the animated ſaint, ‘what is the advantage, if the temple be demoliſhed, that the veſtibule ſtands entire?’

He proceeds, with great ſubtlety, to ſhew, ‘that he who condemns marriage, diminiſhes the glory of true virginity; and that he who praiſes wedlock, does the higheſt honour to celibacy: for that which is conſidered as good, on a compariſon with evil, may be not eminently good; but that which is better than a bleſſing of univerſal eſtimation, muſt be ſupremely excellent; and in this light,’ continues the ſaint, ‘we recommend virginity. Matrimony is good; and on this account virginity is marvellous, becauſe it is better than good *; and, if you wiſh [33] it, I will inform you how far it is better; as much as heaven is better than earth, and angels than men.’

In this compariſon, St. Chryſoſtom only echoes the ſentiment and expreſſion which we have already ſeen in more than one of his predeceſſors: but this eloquent encomiaſt of virginity was of a ſpirit too animated to content himſelf with a ſervile repetition, and we accordingly find him purſuing this idea, with addreſs and vigour peculiar to himſelf.

After ſaying, that virginity is as much ſuperior to wedlock, as angels are to men, he exclaims, ‘Or, to ſpeak with juſt energy, yet more; for the angels, if they neither marry nor are given in marriage, are not compounded of fleſh and blood; they have no ſettlement on earth, they feel not the perturbations of deſire. They neither hunger nor thirſt, they have no organs which can be ſoftened by muſic or faſcinated by beauty; but, as the meridian ſky, where no clouds are collected, appears [34] pure, ſo their nature, unclouded by mortal paſſions, muſt of neceſſity be clear and lucid.’

The ſaint proceeds to ſhew, that virgins, under the diſadvantage of mortality, engage in a ſucceſsful competition with theſe celeſtial ſpirits, and equal them in purity and perfection.—"But this," he exclaims with indignation, ‘this, touches not you, ye worldlings, who waſte this lovely treaſure!—the portion of the unprofitable ſervant is reſerved for you: but to the virgins of the church, many and great rewards ſhall be allotted, ſuch as neither eye nor ear can perceive, nor human underſtanding comprehend.’

He then attempts to refute the objections which have been urged againſt celibacy, by affirming, that marriage is by no means neceſſary for the preſervation and continuance of the human race; and, as a proof of this, he aſſerts (what other ſaints have alſo maintained) that Adam had no connubial intercourſe [35] with Eve, till after their expulſion from Paradiſe.

He goes yet farther, and affirms, it is not virginity, but ſin, that has a tendency to diminiſh and deſtroy the human ſpecies, and ſupports his remark by the hiſtory of the deluge.

The ſaint proceeds to make many ſevere reflections on thoſe who treat virginity with contempt. He expatiates on the excellence and the merits of the maidenly condition. He dwells on the ſevere bondage of wedlock, and particularly on the hard caſe of that wife who may wiſh to live in a ſtate of continence, and yet cannot lawfully refuſe thoſe careſſes to which ſhe has no inclination. He contraſts the ſingle and the married life in every point of view, and uniformly decides in favour of the firſt.

CHAP. IV. On St. Jerom, and his various Compoſitions in Praiſe of Virginity.

[36]

I SHALL cloſe my catalogue of holy panegyriſts with the mention of a ſaint who was equal, and perhaps ſuperior, to all his ſainted brethren, in extent of learning, in vigour of genius, and, above all, in vehemence of zeal for the ſupport of virginity. I mean the paſſionate and the witty St. Jerom, who paſſed a great part of his ſingular life either in ſtruggling with his own turbulent deſires in a lonely wilderneſs, or in preaching continence to the devout and rich ladies of a luxurious city. He was born about the year 345, on the confines of Dalmatia, received his education at Rome, and travelled into Gaul. He then propoſed to ſettle in the metropolis of Italy, but the religious activity of his ſpirit ſoon hurried [37] him into the Eaſt; and, having viſited the moſt hallowed places of that country, he devoted himſelf to a ſtate of ſevereſt mortification in the deſerts of Syria. Sickneſs drove him to Antioch; from thence he was led to Conſtantinople by his deſire of converſing with St. Gregory Nazianzen. Eccleſiaſtical buſineſs now carried him to Rome, and it was at this advanced period of his life that he became the favourite preceptor of many Roman ladies, who, while they attended his exhortations to chaſtity, were very wantonly cenſured for their devout familiarity with this eloquent enthuſiaſt. The attachment of his female diſciples, though probably very innocent, was undoubtedly very ſtrong, as ſome of them followed him into the Holy Land, where he ended an unquiet but illuſtrious life, at the age of fourſcore. Among theſe diſciples, a widow, whoſe name was Paula, attracted the notice of the world by her rank and fortune, and ſtill more by the fervency of her devotion. The ardent friendſhip which [38] St. Jerom profeſſed for this lady had a conſiderable influence on his life and writings. What he ſuffered, and what he enjoyed, in the pious connection, he has himſelf very forcibly deſcribed, in a letter addreſſed to Aſella, a religious maiden of peculiar ſanctity. In ſpeaking of the Roman ladies, he ſays, *I lived among them almoſt three years, and was frequently ſurrounded by a croud of virgins. To ſome I often explained the ſcripture. My lectures produced attention — attention, familiarity—and familiarity, confidence. But let them ſay if they ever obſerved in me any thing unbecoming a Chriſtian. I accepted, indeed, the money of ſome; their preſents, whether ſmall or great; I did [39] not deſpiſe; yet nothing was ever alledged againſt me except my ſex, and even that was never alledged againſt me, till Paula travelled to Jeruſalem. Before I became familiar with the houſe of the holy Paula, I had gained the general applauſe of the whole city; and by the judgment of almoſt all, I was regarded as worthy the higheſt rank in the church. I was called a ſaint, I was called humble and eloquent. — Did I ever enter the doors of any gay or wanton lady? Were ſilk and jewels, a painted face, and a profuſion of gold, any attractions to me?— There was no matron of Rome who [40] could conquer my mind, except her diſtinguiſhed by mourning and mortification, coarſe in her attire, and almoſt blind with weeping—whom the ſun often finds imploring, through ſucceſſive nights, the mercy of her God—whoſe ſongs are pſalms—whoſe converſation, the goſpel —whoſe luxury, continence—whoſe life a faſt. No woman could delight me, except her whom I never beheld in the act of eating: but as ſoon as I began to eſteem, to revere, and look up to her for the merit of her chaſtity, from that moment all my own virtues forſook me.’

The ſaint proceeds to vent his indignation againſt the envy and malice of thoſe [41] who had accuſed him of a criminal intrigue with this devout lady; and he cloſes his letter with all the animation of injured innocence, profeſſing, in ſpite of the cenſorious world, an everlaſting attachment both to the widow Paula, and her maiden daughter Euſtochium. To the latter he has addreſſed one of his moſt remarkable compoſitions; and of this I ſhall now give a brief account. It is intitled, "An Epiſtle on the Preſervation of Virginity."— ‘I do not intend in this diſcourſe,’ ſays the ſaint to his fair diſciple, ‘to rehearſe to you the praiſes of that maidenly condition, which you have found to be moſt excellent, nor to enumerate the troubles of matrimony. There will be no adulation in this little treatiſe, no rhetorical pomp of language, which may inveſt you with the dignity of an angel, and, by deſcribing the beatitude of virginity, lay the world at your feet. I do not wiſh that the life you have embraced ſhould inſpire you with pride, but with caution: [42] travel, laden with treaſure, it is therefore your buſineſs to avoid a thief *.’

After this friendly admonition, the ſaint proceeds to ſpeak of the inceſſant danger to which virginity is expoſed; and, to alarm his tender pupil in the higheſt degree, he ſays, with a temerity of language which his zeal, I think, can hardly excuſe, ‘Though God is all powerful, he cannot raiſe up a virgin that is ruined. He is able, indeed, to deliver her from puniſhment; but he will not beſtow a crown on the corrupted . Virginity,’ continues the ſaint, ‘may even periſh by the ſimple offences of the mind, and be loſt only by harbouring a licentious idea.’ —St. Jerom is very candid, in adding to this rigid maxim a ſtriking hiſtory of his own turbulent [43] and wanton thoughts in the wilderneſs to which he retired. In ſpite of the ſevere mortifications by which he there endeavoured to ſubdue the propenſities of nature, in the midſt of faſting, ſolitude, and prayer, his ardent imagination, he confeſſes, hurried him from the ſilent deſert to ſcenes of Roman luxury, and the ſociety of girls. From this honeſt confeſſion, he draws a forcible argument in favour of temperance. —"If they," ſays the ſaint, ‘who reduce their bodies by abſtinence, are thus tormented by their fancy, what muſt the damſel ſuffer, who is indulged in every delicacy? If, therefore, I have any right to adviſe, if you can credit experience, this is my firſt admonition, this my moſt earneſt intreaty, that the conſecrated virgin may fly from wine as from poiſon.’ —The ſaint expatiates on the neceſſity of abſtinence, both as to food and liquor; and he concludes his advice on this topic with theſe remarkable expreſſions: — ‘It is not that Heaven is delighted with the [44] rumbling of our inteſtines, but chaſtity cannot otherwiſe be ſafe *.’

This caution is followed by a very ſtriking picture of the diſſolute manners which prevailed in that age. The ladies and the clergy are treated with equal ſeverity by the indignant Jerom; their vices are deſcribed with that ſingular vehemence of angry wit, that energy of metaphor, by which the writings of this eloquent father are peculiarly diſtinguiſhed: ‘I am aſhamed to ſay,’ exclaims the animated ſaint, ‘how many virgins are daily ruined! what illuſtrious maidens are loſt from the very boſom of our mother church! over what fallen ſtars the proud enemy rears his throne !’ He proceeds to ſtrike at [45] the cohabitation, that I have mentioned before, between the prieſts and the canonical virgins: "How was this peſt," cries the angry Jerom, ‘introduced into the church? whence are theſe harlots, who confine themſelves to a ſingle man? They are contained in the ſame houſe, in one chamber, aye, and often in one little bed, and yet call us ſuſpicious if we ſuppoſe any thing *.’

The ſaint proceeds to contraſt with theſe licentious manners the extreme purity of his young diſciple, in which he exhorts her to perſevere with various precepts; he dwells chiefly on abſtinence and nightly prayer. He recommends to her ſeveral authors, who had written on virgins—Tertullian, St. Cyprian, his friend Damaſus the Roman pontiff, who celebrated virginity both in proſe and verſe, but, above all, the treatiſe of St. [46] Ambroſe, of which I have given an account, and which St. Jerome extols as a maſter-piece of eloquence. He cautions her, at the ſame time, againſt all profaner ſtudies, and particularly the amuſement of poetry.

There is a very pleaſing peculiarity in this generous ſaint; I mean, his cuſtom of relating a little hiſtory of his own frailties, to form a more forcible leſſon for the uſe of his diſciple. Of this we have already ſeen one example, in the narration of his wanton thoughts in the deſert. A ſecond now occurs, on the ſubject of profane literature He confeſſes to his fair pupil, that, after ſpending ſome time in his ſacred ſtudies, in faſting and prayer, he uſed to amuſe himſelf with the comedies of Plautus, which delighted him ſo much, that when he returned to the peruſal of the prophets, he found them inſufferably dull. A fever attacked him, and, at the height of his diſtemper, he was tranſported, in a viſion, before the tribunal of a judge, who, upbraiding [47] him for his attachment to the literature of the Gentiles, commanded him to be ſcourged. The conſcious Jerom acknowledges the juſtice of this ſentence, and ſupports the reality of his puniſhment, by appealing to the ſtripes which he continued, he ſays, to feel after his ſleep had left him.

In ſpeaking of literature, St. Jerom has ſome curious expreſſions concerning the literary magnificence of his age. ‘Parchment,’ ſays he, ‘is tinged with purple, gold flows into letters, and books are arrayed in jewels.’ He aſcribes this paſſion for ſplendor to the Roman ladies, whom he repreſents, in general, as full of oſtentation, and deſtitute of virtue.

From hence he takes occaſion to put his fair diſciple on her guard againſt luxury and avarice.

At the diſtance of thirty years from the compoſition of theſe inſtructions to the tender Euſtochium, we find the ardent St. Jerom addreſſing, with the ſame zeal for [48] chaſtity, another Roman virgin, of equal or ſuperior eminence; I mean the celebrated Demetrias, the grand-daughter of Proba, a matron of the higheſt rank and character in Rome, who, flying from that city, when it was taken by the Goths, eſcaped with her family, and the wreck of an immenſe fortune, to the coaſt of Africa. The young and lovely Demetrias—inflamed with a pious paſſion for the palm of virginity, or alarmed, perhaps, by the fate of many illuſtrious Roman damſels, torn from their exiled parents, and baſely ſold to Syrian merchants by the infamous. Count Heraclian, who commanded in Africa—ſought an aſylum in the church, by aſſuming the veil. The holy maiden was complimented by the moſt eminent ſaints of the age on this act of devotion. Nothing can more forcibly ſhew the high conſequence of canonical virgins in that period, than the epiſtle of St. Jerom to Demetrias. After ſome praiſe beſtowed on her own character, and that of her family, he repreſents her conſecration as [49] an event which diffuſed ſuch univerſal joy throughout the Roman world, that it compenſated in a great meaſure the late overthrow of the imperial city. He affirms, that the delight and exultation of the Roman people, on this occaſion, were ſuperior to what they had formerly diſplayed, both when their country was delivered from the ravages of the Gauls, and when, after the fatal battles of Trebia, Thraſymene, and Cannae, they firſt heard of the victory which Marcellus obtained at Nola. This, ſurely, is one of the moſt hyperbolical compliments that was ever paid to a fair devotee, and affords us a curious proof how far the imagination of our lively ſaint would ſometimes outrun his judgment. But though his zeal has overcharged the picture, we muſt remember that he painted from life: and his deſcription of the effects produced by the conſecration of this noble damſel, exhibits in the ſtrongeſt light the maidenly enthuſiaſm of that period. After declaring that the joy of Demetrias's family was ſuch [50] as the eloquence both of Cicero and Demoſthenes would be unequal to deſcribe, St. Jerom exclaims, ‘Good God, what was their exultation! as from one fruitful root many virgins ſhot forth *; a multitude of female dependants purſued the example of their lady; the profeſſion of virginity prevailed in every houſe . I ſpeak too faintly: all the churches of Africa exulted; the fame of the pious virgin pervaded every city, every town, every village, to the moſt lonely hut; all the iſlands between Africa and Italy were filled with the joyful tidings. Then Italy threw off her garb of mourning, and the half-demoliſhed walls of Rome recovered a part of their priſtine ſplendor, her God being deemed propitious in this perfect converſion of her daughter. You would [51] have thought the race of Goths extinguiſhed, and all her baſe enemies ſtruck dead by the avenging thunder of heaven.’

Having repreſented the effects of her conſecration in theſe flattering colours, St. Jerom proceeds to favour this illuſtrious virgin with many precepts for the maintenance of her purity. He dwells on the uſual topics of temperance and prayer. He ingeniouſly compares the virgin, who lives chaſtely in the warmth of youth, to thoſe holy perſons who continued unhurt in the fiery furnace. To the rich virgin he obſerves, that it is more meritorious to employ a large fortune in charitable donations to the poor, than in building a coſtly and ſplendid church. He adviſes his fair pupil to amuſe herſelf with manual work. He cautions her againſt the inſidious doctrine of the heretic Rufinus. He exhorts her never to hear any converſation between a man and his wife, as ſuch dialogues are of [52] an infectious nature *. ‘Chuſe her for your companion,’ ſays the ſaint, ‘who never ſuſpects that ſhe is handſome; who never throws back her cloak to diſcover her neck, but covers even her face ſo carefully, that ſhe has hardly one eye, when ſhe is walking in public, ſufficiently unveiled to diſcern her path.’

The ſaint then ſpeaks of his own former compoſition on the preſervation of virginity; a work, he ſays, which raiſed to him many enemies, on account of the honeſt freedom with which he arraigned the vices of the time. He is ſtill, however, equally ſevere on female licentiouſneſs: "Many," ſays he, ‘affect the ſanctity of canonical virgins, that they may more quietly indulge their impure deſires. Theſe things,’ continues the ſaint, ‘we ſee and ſuffer, and, when dazzled by a piece of gold, [53] we even rank them in the catalogue of good works *.’ He concludes with exhorting his chaſte diſciple to love the ſcripture; and, what has a ludicrous tendency to overthrow all his favourite doctrine, he entreats her to revere her grandmother as a model of perfection.

The reſpectful love which St. Jerom had conceived for virginity was ſo great, that it appears to have been the ruling paſſion of his life, and may be traced in almoſt all his writings. In his letters to different friends who had conſulted him on the education of their female infants, he diſcovers the moſt ardent and anxious deſire to form, from the cradle, a religious Old Maid. In adviſing a lady, whoſe name was Laeta, to teach her little daughter to read by letters of box or ivory, he gives her a particular caution to let no boys come near the infant maiden. The whole letter is curious, as it circumſtantially [54] deſcribes the very ſingular cautions which St. Jerom thought neceſſary to form a female character of accompliſhed purity.—But I muſt haſten to ſpeak of the two more elaborate works of this ſaint, in which his predominant paſſion may be ſaid to burſt forth with the greateſt fervency. The firſt of theſe is a treatiſe on the perpetual virginity of the Virgin Mary, in oppoſition to Helvidius, who had attempted to prove, by paſſages from the goſpel, that, after the birth of our Saviour, the Virgin Mary had other children by her huſband Joſeph. After replying to all the arguments of his adverſary with great acuteneſs and ſtrength of reaſon, St. Jerom indulges himſelf in a rhetorical deſcription of the two oppoſite characters, a virgin and a wife; and he concludes his treatiſe by magnifying the pre-eminence of the former with all the lively ſpirit of eloquent enthuſiaſm.—The ſecond is a work, in which the zeal of our ſaint, for the honour of virginity, aroſe to a ſtill higher pitch; I mean his anſwer to [55] Jovinian. This Italian monk, of a moderate and reſpectable character, had very candidly aſſerted, that the married women and, virgins, who, lived in equal obedience to the laws of the goſpel, were equally meritorious. The indignation of the zealous Jerom took fire at this aſſertion; he could not bear that thoſe objects of his idolatry, the pure virgins of the church, ſhould be thus placed on a level with women debaſed, in his idea, even by a legal cohabitation with man. He is ſo hurried on by the vehemence of his anger, that he exclaims, in the opening of his reply, ‘How ſhall I check myſelf, and not indulge the weapon ſo impatient to ſtrike in the cauſe of virginity *?’ Indeed, the warm ſaint appears utterly unable to conduct the controverſy with any degree of temper. Comparing the candid doctrine of his adverſary [56] to the hiſſing of the old ſerpent, he threatens to cruſh him as the moſt vile and pernicious of reptiles.

The paſſionate compoſitions of a bold and vigorous mind, enriched with extenſive learning, are generally entertaining, though full of error and abſurdity. There is an attractive energy in ſatirical wit, however deſtitute of truth, when it is ſharpened by indignation or envy. It is owing, perhaps, in ſome meaſure, to this forcible charm, that ſome unjuſt compoſitions of two very different authors, Voltaire and Dr. Johnſon, have been read with peculiar avidity. In many ſtrokes of perſonal character, and in the compact vigour of their ſtyle, theſe great writers both reſembled St. Jerom. Sarcaſtic imagination and literary pride were, perhaps, the predominant characteriſtics of this ſingular triumvirate; they all delighted to exert the talent which they all poſſeſſed, of blowing an adverſary to pieces with a ſparkling exploſion of irritable wit.

[57]The mild and unfortunate Jovinian, though he had mercy and juſtice on his ſide, ſunk under the vindictive eloquence of St. Jerom, who ſupported againſt his antagoniſt the pre-eminence of his favourite virginity by a variety of arguments, and a torrent of ſacred and prophane erudition. The ſaint very artfully perverts many texts of ſcripture to his purpoſe, and from ſome of them draws a wonderful inference againſt the purity of matrimonial duties *. He dwells on the authority of St. Paul, in his famous exhortation to celibacy. He affirms that virgins are more beloved by heaven, becauſe their ſacrifice is not enjoined, but voluntary. He declares, there is as much difference between marriage and virginity, as between not ſinning and doing good.

Having made the utmoſt of thoſe texts [58] in ſcripture, which could be converted to the honour of virginity, he proceeds to ſhew, that a ſtate of continence was no new eſtabliſhment, introduced in oppoſition to nature by the Chriſtian church, but of ancient and univerſal eſtimation. In this part of his treatiſe, he gives an ample catalogue of the moſt eminent ſuppoſed virgins of the Pagan world, not omitting the Camilla and Harpalice of Virgil. He mentions the tradition of the Indian Gymnoſophiſts, that the founder of their religious inſtitutions was generated from the ſide of a virgin. He condeſcends to repeat even the Grecian fable concerning Plato's mother, who was ſaid to have been impregnated by a phantom of Apollo *.

There are ſeveral points of religious doctrine which St. Jerom diſputes with his antagoniſt, but I touch only on that which is particularly connected with the ſubject of this Eſſay. This, indeed, is the point for which [59] the angry ſaint moſt vehemently contends. His indignation ſeems to have been particularly rouſed by the great eagerneſs with which the Roman ladies had embraced the liberal maxims of his opponent. Some canonical virgins, convinced by Jovinian of the innocence and the merits of matrimony, had dropped the veil, and preferred the warm protection of a huſband, to the chilling ſhelter of the church. St. Jerom, in the cloſe of his invective, very forcibly deſcribes the popularity of his antagoniſt. He laments that the rich and noble received him with deference and affection. He repreſents him as the preceptor of impurity, ſurrounded by multitudes of laſcivious women, who have loſt, not only their modeſty, but all ſenſe of ſhame; "and who diſplay more wantonneſs," ſays the ſaint, ‘in the argumentative defence of their deſire, than in its actual exertion.’ — He concludes with a ſpirited addreſs to Rome, as the miſtreſs of the world. He beſeeches the imperial city to act in conformity [60] to her ancient reputation, to be exalted by virtue, and not humbled by pleaſure.

Though Jovinian ſeems to have had a large majority of the fair ſex on his ſide, his mild doctrine concerning them was formally condemned by eccleſiaſtical authority, and he died in exile. St. Jerom aroſe triumphant from the conteſt; yet we find that many pious critics in Rome arraigned his compoſition, for extolling virginity to ſuch a pitch, by the degradation of wedlock. In ſome of his letters he treats theſe critics with the utmoſt contempt. He aſſerts, in ſupport of his own doctrine, that the apoſtles were either unmarried, or continent after marriage *. He concludes one of his epiſtles on this topic with an air of jocularity, by ſaying, ‘To explain my ſentiments on wedlock completely, I would have all thoſe provide themſelves with [61] wives, who, from their nightly fears, are unable to lie alone *.’

Such was the doctrine, and ſuch the ſucceſs, of St. Jerom, as the eulogiſt of virginity. It may amuſe the Engliſh reader to ſee this eloquent and chaſte enthuſiaſt in the character of a poet; I ſhall therefore cloſe the chapter with a tranſlation of the epitaph which he compoſed on his great friend and patroneſs, the illuſtrious Paula.—This lady, after reſiding about twenty years in Bethlem, where ſhe had founded three monaſteries for virgins, and one for monks— and after acting as a mother to all the Chriſtian pilgrims, who then crowded to the holy ſepulchre—ended a life of the ſtricteſt piety, in the year 404, at the age of fifty-ſix. The faithful St. Jerom lamented her with the moſt paſſionate affliction, and placed on different parts of the rock which [62] was converted into her tomb, the two following inſcriptions.

*She, who from Scipio deriv'd her birth,
Paula, is laid within this hallow'd earth:
Her lineage from the Gracchi's ſplendid race,
And Agamemnon's royal houſe, we trace;
Euſtochium's mother, firſt of Roman dames!
But ſcorning worldly pride, and pompous names,
In Bethlem, ſacred rural ſpot! ſhe choſe
With Chriſtian poverty her life to cloſe.

On the front of the cave.

See you this ſtony ſepulchre? It hides
Paula's remains, who now in heaven reſides.
[63]Friends, country, children, wealth—from all ſhe fled,
To lay in Bethlem's holy rock her head:
Cradle of Chriſt! a ſcene the Magi trod,
Hailing, with myſtic gifts, our Human God.

CHAP. V. On ſome Miracles aſcribed to Monaſtic Virgins.

[64]

THE enthuſiaſtic eloquence of the different ſaints, whom we have juſt reviewed, had undoubtedly great influence in augmenting the multitude of religious Old Maids. But it was not the only cauſe which produced this effect:—to the exhortations of the holy fathers we may add the univerſal and dazzling idea of ſupernatural power, ſuppoſed to reſide in the monaſtic virgin of immaculate purity. Many females would enter with ambitious zeal into a ſtate which gave them a fair proſpect of acquiring the very flattering privilege of working miracles: and in thoſe ages, when diverſe miracles were aſcribed to the chaſte and pious daughters of many a convent, every nun of lively imagination, who had the ſlighteſt acquaintance with the legends [65] of her ſiſterhood, might readily hope for a privilege of which examples were ſo common. The lives of the female ſaints contain an infinitude of miraculous incidents in honour of virginity. My readers would hardly thank me for reviving a large collection of theſe forgotten wonders; yet let me obſerve, with the great Monteſquieu *, ‘that the lyes contained in theſe lives relate to the manners of the time:’ and it forms a part of my deſign, to exhibit in this work the manners and ſentiments of different ages, relating to that intereſting condition of female life which I have choſen for my ſubject. Every author muſt allow a place to many abſurdities, if he means to give a hiſtory of human opinions, though on a [66] ſingle topic. The more ridiculous an ancient legend may appear to us, the more forcibly will it ſhew us the extent and influence of popular credulity. I ſhall, therefore, ſelect a few ſupernatural anecdotes of pious virgins; and, to render them the more intereſting, I ſhall confine myſelf to the holy maidens of our own country. If we wiſhed to produce the ſtrongeſt example of miraculous power aſcribed to martyred chaſtity, we might pitch on the adventures of St. Oſitha, a religious and royal virgin of Eſſex, who, being murdered and beheaded by Daniſh pirates, in the ninth century, is ſaid, like ſome poetical heroes of romance, to have carried her ſevered head in her own hands to a church at a conſiderable diſtance from the ſpot where ſhe was ſlain *.

[67]The memory of this fair and chaſte ſaint was held in peculiar veneration, as appears from a circumſtance recorded in one of our early monaſtic chronicles. Alfward, biſhop of London, was afflicted with a leproſy, and his diſtemper was ſuppoſed to be a puniſhment which he drew upon himſelf, by inſpecting this buried virgin, whoſe body lay within his dioceſe, with a profane curioſity, and pilfering ſome reliques from her grave *.

Among the moſt meritorious of our holy maidens, we ought, perhaps, to reckon the chaſte St. Bridget of Scotland, who, having reſolved on perpetual virginity, and being perſecuted by the addreſſes of an ardent lover, prayed to heaven that ſhe might be relieved from his diſtreſſing importunities by the ſudden loſs of her beauty. Her pious [68] biographers inform us, that this ſingular petition was immediately granted:—her lovely countenance was inſtantly deformed, and the dangerous luſtre of her eyes was drowned in blood. But we have the conſolation of being told, by the ſame authority, that ſhe recovered her charms as ſoon as her purity was perfectly ſecure.

Not to dwell on the legends of mere martyrologiſts, I ſhall relate, from the moſt reſpectable of our ancient hiſtorians, a miraculous anecdote, which not only ſhews the wonderful eſtimation in which monaſtic virginity was held, but even proves that the king himſelf was not ſafe, if he preſumed to queſtion or deride the continence of a canonized virgin.

The celebrated William of Malmſbury has enlivened the hiſtory of Engliſh prelates with the following account of a religious and royal maiden, whoſe name was Editha. This lady, the daughter of Edgar, a monarch diſtinguiſhed by his military ſpirit and his amorous adventures, was early devoted to a [69] life of monaſtic purity; and is ſaid to have diſplayed all the gentle virtues in the monaſtery of Wilton. Though a profeſſed nun, ſhe ventured to indulge herſelf in ſplendid apparel; and when reproved by St. Ethelwold for her finery, ſhe defended herſelf, with a pious vivacity, by a quotation from St. Auguſtin, affirming that pride was often ſeen in a ſordid habit, and humility in a golden veſt. In her devotions ſhe was ſo fervent, that the great St. Dunſtan, who beheld her during the conſecration of a church which ſhe had built, was enraptured with her piety. On obſerving, that ſhe frequently extended her thumb, to make the ſign of the croſs, this prophetic ſaint exclaimed, "May that bleſſed finger never decay!" and burſt into a tender paſſion of tears, ſo violent as to ſhake with his ſobbing the deacon who ſtood next him. On being aſked the reaſon of his diſorder, he replied, ‘This blooming roſe will ſoon wither; this dove, ſo dear to heaven, will fly away from us in ſix weeks from this [70] day.’ His prophecy was accompliſhed: the royal virgin expired at the preciſe time he had foretold; and the ſame holy man beheld her in a viſion, walking hand in hand with the ſainted martyr to whom ſhe had dedicated the church, and commanding that ſuch reverence ſhould be paid to her on earth as ſhe received in heaven.— Miracles became frequent at her tomb. At laſt it was ordered that her body ſhould be brought forth from its grave; and her whole frame was found converted into duſt, except her finger, her ſtomach, and the parts below it. While the holy man was amazed at theſe wonders, he was relieved by an appearance of the virgin's ſpirit, who ſaid that thoſe parts of her body were juſtly free from putrefaction, for having preſerved themſelves unpolluted by the two ſenſual ſins of wantonneſs and gluttony *.

[71]At a ſubſequent period, when king Canute the Dane, who was apt, ſays the ſame pious hiſtorian, to ſatirize the ſaints of England, happened to viſit Wilton, he treated the memory of the chaſte and holy Editha with jocular contempt; affirming, that he could never believe ſhe was juſtly ſainted for chaſtity, as ſhe was the daughter of Edgar, the moſt wanton of princes. While he ſpoke thus with the irreverence of a barbarian, he was reproved by the archbiſhop Ednodus. Canute growing angry, orders the ſepulchre to be opened, that he [72] might ſee what appearance of ſanctity the dead virgin would diſcover. The mauſoleum being burſt aſunder, the deceaſed, ſpreading her veil before her face as low as her girdle, was ſeen to ariſe and attack the inſolent monarch *. Overcome with terror, throwing back his head, and loſing the ſtrength of his knees, he fell to the ground, and remained breathleſs ſo long, that he was ſuppoſed to be dead; but his faculties returning by degrees, he rejoiced to find that, although ſeverely chaſtiſed, he had a ſeaſon left him for penitence. The feſtival of the chaſte Editha is therefore held venerable in many parts of England; and no one can think of profaning it with impunity.

Such are the anecdotes which the moſt ſenſible and accompliſhed of our ancient hiſtorians has related of one royal and pious maiden. Several incidents of a ſimilar caſt [73] might be eaſily collected; but I apprehend the preceding is ſufficient to ſhew, in a very ſtrong point of view, the ideas of our anceſtors concerning the ſupernatural powers of a ſpotleſs virgin. What real influence ſuch ideas may have had in augmenting the multitude of genuine Old Maids, I ſhall leave the contemplative ſiſterhood to conſider.

CHAP. VI. On the Decline and Fall of Monaſtic Virginity.

[74]

AGES have exiſted, in which a paſſion for monaſtic chaſtity appears to have ſpread, like an epidemical diſorder, through the female world; and ladies of the moſt elevated rank ſeem to have been particularly expoſed to this religious influenza. The great hiſtorian, who has lately exhibited a magnificent picture of declining Rome, delineates, with his uſual ſpirit, the pious pomp and oſtentation, with which the three daughters of the emperor Arcadius dedicated their virginity to God. He informs us, that ‘the obligation of their vow was inſcribed on a tablet of gold and gems, which they publicly offered in the great church of Conſtantinople: their palace was converted into a monaſtery; [75] and all males, except the guides of their conſcience, the ſaints who had forgotten the diſtinction of ſexes, were ſcrupulouſly excluded from the holy threſhold*.’

A female ſacrifice announced to the world with ſuch dazzling ſplendor, muſt have had great effect in extending the contagious paſſion for monaſtic virginity; and, in the ſucceeding ages, we find that many queens and princeſſes, in different kingdoms of Europe, preferred the chaſte comfort of monaſtic continence to all the parade and pleaſure of royal dignity. We have ſeen, in a former chapter of this Eſſay, that the married royal fair ones, as well as the ſingle, aſpired to that celeſtial crown of virginity, which was conſidered as ſuperior to every earthly diadem; and many of theſe virgin wives (to give them the ſtrange appellation which they coveted) appear to have obtained, from the religious complaiſance of their huſbands, [76] a very plauſible, if not an unqueſtionable title to the prime object of their ambition. In this wonderful ſpecies of purity, the royal fair ones of England ſeem to have ſurpaſſed thoſe of other countries. — A very amuſing Italian author, who has attempted to prove that the modern world is not inferior to the ancient in virtues of every claſs, among his examples of the moſt ſingular modern chaſtity, has mentioned the Engliſh queen Ediltruda, whom he conſiders as the wife of three huſbands, yet juſtly canonized as a virgin *. The extraordinary merit aſcribed to this royal Old Maid of England, made me ſearch minutely into the hiſtory of ſo intereſting a perſonage. I find that the Ediltruda of this courteous Italian writer, is the lady celebrated by our venerable Bede under the name of Aedilthryda; a lady whoſe adventures I have mentioned in a preceding chapter, on a different [77] occaſion. I will here add, that our honeſt hiſtorian, who allows her only two huſbands, yet vouches for her virginity in the following remarkable terms. — After ſaying that ſhe reſided twelve years with Ecgfrid the king, her laſt huſband, and yet remained a perpetual virgin of glorious integrity, he thus proceeds:— ‘To me, and to ſome others, who doubted if this were really ſo, biſhop Wilfrid, of bleſſed memory, declared that he was himſelf a perfect witneſs of her integrity; for Ecgfrid had promiſed to give him an ample eſtate, and a large ſum of money, if he could perſuade the queen to admit his embraces; being aſſured that ſhe loved no man better. Nor ſhould we doubt,’ continues the honeſt Bede, ‘that a circumſtance could happen even in our time, which faithful hiſtorians inform us was very frequent in the preceding age *.’

[78]Frivolous and nonſenſical as anecdotes of this kind may appear to a faſtidious critic, they particularly deſerve the attention of the truly philoſophical, as they inſtruct us in that moſt intereſting branch of uſeful knowledge, the hiſtory of manners. Although the opinions and practices of our age afford but little countenance to the fact ſo candidly ſupported by the venerable Bede, the moſt ſceptical reader may incline to admit the truth of it, when he conſiders that, in the days of Aedilthryda, to lead the life of a nun was eſteemed the height of human happineſs, and the ſureſt paſſport to celeſtial [79] beatitude: nay, to become the parent of a nun was regarded as a bleſſing of ſuch importance, that ſome good ladies were contented to ſacrifice, for this bleſſing, the glory ariſing from that continent virtue, in which they prided themſelves ſo devoutly. This remark is grounded on an anecdote as curious as the preceding, which Dugdale has inſerted in his Monaſticon, from the manuſcript chronicles of John, the vicar of Tinmouth. This pious hiſtorian has recorded, that a nobleman, whom he calls Wolfhelmus, having children by his wife, reſided with her for eighteen years in perfect continence; when an angel appeared, and exhorted this chaſte couple to cohabit once more, for the ſake of producing a ſpouſe for Chriſt; and then to perſevere in their former purity of life *. The ſuggeſtion [80] of the angel was not diſregarded; and this heaven-directed intercourſe gave birth to Wolfhildis, who became a nun of ſuch ſignal purity, that ſhe rejected the rich offers, and eſcaped from the amorous purſuit, of king Edgar; although Wenfleda, the aunt of that licentious monarch, condeſcended to act as the baſe miniſter of his pleaſures, and employed the moſt ungenerous artifice to enſnare this reſolute and illuſtrious virgin.

But if there were times in which monaſtic chaſtity appeared ſo firm as to reſiſt and triumph over the importunities even of royal intrigue, we muſt confeſs that, in other ſeaſons, it aſſumed a very different appearance, and turned at laſt into the moſt deplorable frailty.

The venerable Bede has himſelf given us a very ſtriking picture of monaſtic enormities, in his epiſtle to Ecgbert. From this we learn, that many young men, who had no title to the monaſtic profeſſion, got poſſeſſion of monaſterie, where, inſtead of [81] engaging in the defence of their country, as their age and rank required, they indulged themſelves in the moſt diſſolute indolence, and did not abſtain from the virgins that were devoted to God *.

We learn from Dugdale, that in the reign of Henry the Second, the nuns of Amſbury abbey in Wiltſhire were expelled from that religious houſe, on account of their incontinence ; and, to exhibit in the moſt lively colours the total corruption of monaſtic chaſtity, Biſhop Burnet informs us, in his Hiſtory of the Reformation, that when the nunneries were viſited by the command of [82] Henry the Eighth, ‘whole houſes were found almoſt all with child *.’

When we conſider to what oppreſſive indolence, to what a variety of wretchedneſs and guilt, the young and fair inhabitants of the cloiſter were frequently betrayed, we ought to admire thoſe benevolent authors, who, when the tide of religious prejudice ran very ſtrong in favour of monaſtic virginity, had ſpirit enough to oppoſe the torrent, and to caution the devout and tender ſex againſt ſo dangerous a profeſſion. It is in this point of view that the character of Eraſmus appears with the moſt amiable luſtre; and his name ought to be eternally dear to the female world in particular. Though his ſtudies and conſtitution led him almoſt to idolize thoſe eloquent fathers of the church, who have magnified monaſtic virginity, his good ſenſe, and his accurate ſurvey of human life, [83] enabled him to judge of the miſery in which female youth was continually involved by a precipitate choice of the veil. He knew the ſucceſsful arts by which the ſubtle and rapacious Monks inveigled young women of opulent families into the cloiſter, and he exerted his lively and delicate wit in oppoſition to ſo pernicious an evil. The writings of many eminent authors have been levelled againſt the abuſes of the monaſtic life; but ſeveral of theſe, like the noted work of the humorous Rabelais, appear to have flowed from a ſpirit as wanton and licentious as ever lurked in a convent, and abound in language offenſive to every decent reader. It is not thus with Eraſmus; his two dialogues, intitled, The Virgin averſe to Marriage, and The Penitent Virgin, are written with admirable pleaſantry, and ſeem to have been dictated by a chaſte and angelic deſire to promote the felicity of woman.

In thoſe nations of Europe where nunneries ſtill exiſt, how many lovely victims [84] are continually ſacrificed to the avarice or abſurd ambition of inhuman parents! The miſery of theſe victims has been painted with great force by ſome benevolent writers of France, and particularly by that admirable noveliſt Madame de Genlis, in her Letters on Education. In moſt of theſe pathetic hiſtories, that are founded on the abuſe of convents, the miſery originates from the parent, and falls upon the child. The reverſe has ſometimes happened; and there are examples of unhappy parents, who have been rendered miſerable by the religious perverſity of a daughter. In the fourteenth volume of that very amuſing book, the Cauſes Célébres, a book which is ſaid to have been the favourite reading of Voltaire, there is a ſtriking hiſtory of a girl under age, who was tempted by pious artifice to ſettle herſelf in a convent, in expreſs oppoſition to parental authority. Her parents, who had vainly tried the moſt tender perſuaſion, endeavoured at laſt to redeem their loſt child by a legal proceſs againſt [85] the nunnery in which ſhe was impriſoned. The pleadings on this remarkable trial may, perhaps, be juſtly reckoned among the fineſt pieces of eloquence that the lawyers of France have produced. Monſieur Gillet, the advocate for the parents, repreſented, in the boldeſt and moſt affecting language, the extreme baſeneſs of this religious ſeduction. His eloquence appeared to have fixed the ſentiments of the judges; but the cauſe of ſuperſtition was pleaded by an advocate of equal power, and it finally prevailed. The unfortunate parents of Marie Vernat, for this was the name of the deluded girl, were condemned to reſign her for ever, and to make a conſiderable payment to thoſe artful devotees, who had piouſly robbed them of their child.

When we reflect on the various evils that have ariſen in convents, we have the ſtrongeſt reaſon to rejoice and glory in that reformation, by which the nunneries of England were aboliſhed. Yet, it would [86] not be candid or juſt to conſider all theſe as the mere harbours of licentiouſneſs, ſince we are told, that at the time of their ſuppreſſion, ſome of our religious houſes were very honourably diſtinguiſhed by the purity of their inhabitants. "The viſitors," ſays biſhop Burnet, ‘interceded earneſtly for one nunnery in Oxfordſhire, Godſtow, where there was great ſtrictneſs of life, and to which moſt of the young gentlewomen of the country were ſent to be bred; ſo that the gentry of the country deſired the king would ſpare the houſe: yet all was ineffectual *.’

In this point of view, much undoubtedly may be ſaid in favour of convents; yet, when the arguments on both ſides are fairly weighed, I apprehend that every true friend to female innocence will rejoice in thoſe ſenſible regulations, which our Catholic neighbours have lately made reſpecting [87] nunneries, and which ſeem to promiſe their univerſal abolition *; an event which, we are told by experience, would be far from diminiſhing the purity of the female world, ſince I can ſafely aſſert, to the honour of the ſiſterhood, that at this day there are more genuine Old Maids exiſting in England, than could have been found here at any period of our hiſtory, when our iſland abounded in convents, when every county contained a multitude of nuns, and virginity was the moſt faſhionable of all profeſſions.

CHAP. VII. On ſome Monaſtic Old Maids diſtinguiſhed by literary Talents.

[88]

WHEN we conſider what innumerable multitudes of virgins have paſſed their lives in the leiſure of a convent—when we reflect on the active ingenuity of the female mind, and remember that convents, during many ages, were the treaſuries of all the learning that remained upon the earth—we may be ſurpriſed in obſerving the very ſmall number of monaſtic Old Maids, who are ſaid to have bequeathed to us any literary production. Perhaps, indeed, many a fair and chaſte author has exiſted, whoſe name and works have been unjuſtly buried in ſudden oblivion. I am led to this conjecture by finding that one monaſtic and maiden prodigy of literature has been ſtrangely overlooked or miſrepreſented [89] by our beſt antiquarians; I mean the poetical Saxon nun Hroſvitha or Roſovida. This lady, who flouriſhed about the year 980, exerted her poetical genius to confirm and encreaſe the number of monaſtic Old Maids. She wrote ſix dramatic compoſitions in imitation of Terence; but on ſubjects very different from thoſe of the Roman dramatiſt, as the plays of the virgin author were chiefly intended to animate her ſiſter nuns to the preſervation of their virginity.

It is ſtrange that theſe dramatic curioſities are ſo imperfectly known among us, eſpecially as ſome of our ableſt ſcholars have lately employed themſelves in elaborate reſearches on the obſcure origin of the modern drama.

Mr. Warton, in the emendations which he has added to his ſecond volume on Engliſh poetry, has, indeed, mentioned the name and title of this chaſte and pious dramatiſt, but attributes her compoſitions to her firſt editor Conradus Celtes, who publiſhed [90] her plays and other ſacred poems at Nurenburg, 1501.

Such inaccuracies are inevitable in a work ſo various and extenſive as the excellent Hiſtory of Engliſh Poetry; and I am confident that its learned and amiable author will thank me for pointing out this miſtake, and thus enabling him to correct his involuntary injuſtice towards this literary phoenix of the cloiſter. Though her works were re-publiſhed at the beginning of this century, they are ſtill ſo rare, that I have ſearched in vain through the libraries of our two univerſities, and through ſome of the moſt curious private collections of books in this kingdom, for a copy of her chaſte and intereſting dramas. I have for ſome time delayed to cloſe this chapter of my Eſſay, in the hope of receiving Roſovida from a friend on the continent; but the rare dramatiſt not arriving as I expected, and theſe pages being called for by the preſs, I can only afford the curious reader the imperfect gratification of knowing [91] that theſe early plays, and an engraved portrait of the chaſte maiden who wrote them, actually exiſt*.

I ſhould particularly regret the loſs of an opportunity to enrich this Eſſay with tranſlations from this rare dramatic Old Maid, had I not the hope of doing ample juſtice to her merits on a future occaſion. For, if the chaſte ſiſterhood beſtow on my labours in their ſervice that animating favour which I am inclined to expect from their curioſity and good-nature, I mean to devote to them the reſidue of my advanced life, and to execute a work to their honour, which the republic of letters has long wanted, a Biographical Dictionary of eminent Old Maids.

Having this grand performance in contemplation, I ſhall not in theſe little books attempt to expatiate on the Tereſas of [92] Spain *, the Schurmans of Germany , the Scuderys of France , the Bourignons of [93] Flanders *, or, in ſhort, on any of thoſe voluminous virgins, who have aſtoniſhed the [94] different kingdoms of Europe by the fertility of their pious or romantic pens.

But there are two monaſtic Old Maids, ſo very remarkable, yet ſo little known in our country, that I muſt embrace the preſent opportunity of introducing them to the acquaintance of my fair readers. The firſt is a pious viſionary virgin of Venice; the ſecond, a poetical nun of Mexico. To the Venetian virgin, who is known in France by the name of Mere Jeanne, the famous French traveller, Guillaume Poſtel, was indebted for moſt of thoſe ſingular ideas, by which he excited univerſal aſtoniſhment in the age of Francis the Firſt. Poſtel was patroniſed for his extenſive erudition by that munificent prince, to whom the learned enthuſiaſt very confidently promiſed univerſal dominion. By this prophecy [95] in favour of France, Poſtel excited the enmity of ſome Spaniſh Jeſuits in Rome, which obliged him to depart from that city, and repair to Venice. It was here that the wonderful Mere Jeanne, whom he deſcribes as a little old woman of forty *, imparted to him thoſe myſteries, which he communicated to the world in a little book written in Italian, whoſe long title is ſo curious, that I ſhall inſert an entire tranſlation of it: ‘The Firſt News of another World; that is, the admirable Hiſtory (and not leſs neceſſary and uſeful to be read and underſtood by every one, than ſtupendous), intitled, The Venetian Virgin —part ſeen, part proved, and moſt faithfully written, by William Poſtel, firſt-born of the Regeneration, and Spiritual Father of the ſaid Virgin.’ —1555. Octavo.—Of this very rare volume France is ſaid to contain only two copies; [96] but there is a French publication by the ſame author, containing the ſame doctrine; which conſiſts in announcing to women an univerſal dominion over the world. This dominion, however, is purely ſpiritual, and means nothing more than the eſtabliſhment of a more perfect reaſon, which beginning, according to the author, in his Venetian Virgin, was to extend over the univerſe, and thus confirm and perpetuate the ſovereignty of woman. How far the doctrine of Poſtel may have been verified, and how far the ſiſterhood in particular may have enjoyed that ſovereign purity and perfection of reaſon, which this learned man firſt diſcovered in his celebrated Venetian Old Maid, are delicate points, which the experience of my fair readers will beſt enable them to decide.

While they are ſettling the matter, let me haſten to Mexico, and preſent to them, from that city, ſiſter Jua [...] Inez de la Cruz, a religious virgin, ſo eminent for her poetical [97] talents, that ſhe has been honoured with the title of a Tenth Muſe.

Juana was born in November, 1651, at the diſtance of a few leagues from the city of Mexico. Her father was one of the many Spaniſh gentlemen, who ſought to improve a ſcanty fortune by an eſtabliſhment in America, where he married a lady of that country, deſcended from Spaniſh parents. Their daughter Juana was diſtinguiſhed in her infancy by an uncommon paſſion for literature, and a wonderful facility in the compoſition of Spaniſh verſes. Her parents ſent her, when ſhe was eight years old, to reſide with her uncle, in the city of Mexico. She had there the advantage of a learned education; and, as her extraordinary talents attracted univerſal regard, ſhe was patroniſed by the lady of the viceroy, the Marquis de Mancera, and, at the age of ſeventeen, was received into his family. A Spaniſh encomiaſt of Juana relates a remarkable anecdote, which, he ſays, was [98] communicated to him by the viceroy himſelf. That nobleman, aſtoniſhed by the extenſive learning of the young Juana, invited forty of the moſt eminent literati that his country could afford, to try the extent and ſolidity of Juana's erudition. The young female ſcholar was freely but politely queſtioned, on the different branches of ſcience, by theologians, philoſophers, mathematicians, hiſtorians, and poets; ‘and, as a royal galleon’ (I uſe the words of his excellency the viceroy, ſays my Spaniſh author) ‘as a royal galleon would defend herſelf againſt a few ſcallops, that might attack her, ſo did Juana Inez extricate herſelf from the various queſtions, arguments, and rejoinders, that each in his own province propoſed to her.’

The applauſe which ſhe received, on this ſignal diſplay of her accompliſhments, was far from inſpiring the modeſt Juana with vanity or preſumption. Indeed, a pious humility was her moſt ſtriking characteriſtic. [99] Her life amounted only to forty-four years, and of theſe ſhe paſſed twenty-ſeven, diſtinguiſhed by the moſt exemplary exerciſe of all the religious virtues, in the convent of St. Geronimo. Her delight in books was extreme, and ſhe is ſaid to have poſſeſſed a library of four thouſand volumes; but, towards the cloſe of her life, ſhe made a ſtriking ſacrifice to charity, by ſelling her darling books for the relief of the poor. Few female authors have been more celebrated in life, or in death more lamented. The collection of her works, in three quarto volumes, contains a number of panegyrics, in verſe and proſe, beſtowed on this chaſte poeteſs by the moſt illuſtrious characters both of Old and New Spain. The moſt ſenſible of the Spaniſh critics, father Feyjoo, has made this general remark on Juana's compoſitions, ‘that they excel in eaſe and elegance, but are deficient in energy;’ a failing the more remarkable, as the pious enthuſiaſm of this poetical nun was ſo [100] great, that ſhe wrote in her own blood a profeſſion of her faith. Let me obſerve, in anſwer to her critic, that moſt of Juana's verſes are written on ſubjects, where poetical energy was not to be expected. Many of her poems are occaſional compliments to her particular friends; and, in her ſacred dramas, the abſurd ſuperſtitions of her country were ſufficient to annihilate all poetical ſublimity.

In one of her ſhort productions, ſhe deſcribes the injuſtice of men towards her own ſex. I ſhall cloſe my brief account of this admirable maiden with an imitation of this performance, taking the liberty, however, to omit ſeveral ſtanzas. It is, I think, the moſt pleaſing ſpecimen that I could ſelect from her poetry, and has a particular claim to a place in this Eſſay, ſince it may be regarded as a vindication of Old Maids, compoſed by a virgin of eminence and authority.

[101]
*Weak men! who without reaſon aim
To load poor woman with abuſe,
Not ſeeing that yourſelves produce
The very evils that you blame.
You 'gainſt her firm reſiſtance ſtrive,
And, having ſtruck her judgment mute,
Soon to her levity impute
What from your labour you derive.
Of woman's weakneſs much afraid,
Of your own proweſs ſtill you boaſt;
Like the vain child, who makes a ghoſt,
Then fears what he himſelf has made.
Her, whom your arms have once embrac'd,
You think, preſumptuouſly, to find,
When ſhe is woo'd, as Thais kind,
When wedded, as Lucretia chaſte.
[102]
How rare a fool muſt he appear,
Whoſe folly mounts to ſuch a paſs,
That firſt he breathes upon the glaſs,
Then grieves becauſe it is not clear!
Still with unjuſt, ungrateful pride,
You meet both favour and diſdain;
The firm, as cruel you arraign,
The tender, you as weak deride.
Your fooliſh humour none can pleaſe,
Since, judging all with equal phlegm,
One for her rigor you condemn,
And one you cenſure for her eaſe.
What wondrous gifts muſt her adorn,
Who would your laſting love engage,
When rigorous nymphs excite your rage,
And eaſy fair ones raiſe your ſcorn!
But while you ſhew your pride or power,
With tyrant paſſions vainly hot,
She's only bleſt who heeds you not,
And leaves you all in happy hour.

CHAP. VIII. On ſome Old Maids of the new World.

[103]

SEVERAL of the Spaniſh writers, in giving an early account of the weſtern world, which they had juſt diſcovered, and were eager to make known, have deſcribed the wantonneſs and the ſervility of the American females in colours that are diſgraceful to human nature. The relations of Peter Cieca de Leon, in particular, exhibit theſe indecent yet beautiful ſavages in the moſt deplorable point of view, and might almoſt lead us to imagine, that, rich as the new world appeared in many valuable productions, it never produced an Old Maid. Happily, however, for the honour of the ſiſterhood, there aroſe in that country a Spaniſh hiſtorian, who, being deſcended from a princeſs of Peru, engaged with patriotic ardour in the noble taſk of vindicating [104] the purity of the Peruvian ladies. The Inca Garcilaſo de la Vega opens the fourth book of his Royal Commentaries with a circumſtantial account of the virgins devoted to the ſun.—"In the falſe religion of Peru," ſays the hiſtorian, ‘there were many things truly great and reſpectable; one of theſe was the profeſſion of perpetual virginity, which the women preſerved in many houſes of retirement, built for them in many provinces of the empire: and, that it may be underſtood what women theſe were, to whom they were devoted, and in what they were exerciſed, I ſhall deſcribe them minutely, becauſe the Spaniſh hiſtorians, who treat of this point, paſs over it, according to the vulgar proverb, like a cat over coals *.’

This illuſtrious author then enters into every particular relating to theſe religious virgins, deſcribing, from his own knowledge, the exact ſituation of the building in [105] the city of Cuſco, where they had formerly reſided: — he contradicts the general opinion concerning them, and clearly proves, that they never dwelt or officiated as prieſteſſes in the temple of the Sun; on the contrary, he aſſerts, that the Incas took particular care that no men ſhould enter into the manſion of theſe ſequeſtered maidens, and no women into that of the Sun—two diſtinct buildings, at a conſiderable diſtance from each other, which Garcilaſo tells us he had ſeen entire, as they were preſerved with particular veneration by the Peruvians, in that memorable conflagration, when, revolting againſt their Spaniſh oppreſſors, they burnt the city of Cuſco.

Theſe virgins, although they did not reſide in the Temple of the Sun, were ſtill conſidered as the wives of that radiant power, whom they reſpected as the progenitor of their princes. They were all of royal blood—their number was not limited, "but commonly amounted," ſays the hiſtorian, "to more than fifteen hundred."

[106]Theſe ingenious maidens employed themſelves in working aſſiduouſly for their nominal huſband, the Sun; and, as he had no immediate occaſion for the ſplendid veſtments they faſhioned for him, it was their cuſtom to preſent his natural heir, the reigning Inca, with the rich and elegant productions of their manual labour. It is remarkable, that theſe ſequeſtered virgins were liable to that inhuman puniſhment which was inflicted on the frail veſtals of Rome; and, towards the perſon who ſeduced them from their vows of chaſtity, the Peruvian law was ſtill more ſevere than the Roman; it not only took the life of the daring offender himſelf, but extended to all the unfortunate beings to whom he was related: all his poſſeſſions were to be laid deſolate, that the earth might retain no traces of a wretch, who had impiouſly violated a hallowed ſpouſe of the Sun.

But whether the maids of Peru were purer in conſtitution than the Roman veſtals, or whether the Peruvian heroes had [107] not, like thoſe of Rome, that audacity of character, which delights to plunge into the deepeſt guilt, we are aſſured that Cuſco was not inured, like Rome, to the horrid ſpectacle of burying frail virgins alive.— ‘Such was the law,’ ſays the hiſtorian of Peru, ‘but the execution of it was never ſeen, becauſe no perſon was ever found to have offended againſt it.’

The horror and indignation with which the Peruvians regarded thoſe Spaniſh ruffians who profaned this virgin ſanctuary, are happily expreſſed in thoſe ſpirited verſes of Dr. Warton, intitled, The Dying Indian.— The warrior thus exults at his death, in the idea of having avenged the injured maidens of his country.

O my ſon,
I feel the venom buſy in my breaſt.—
Approach! and bring my crown, deck'd with the teeth
Of that bold Chriſtian, who firſt dar'd de-flower
The Virgins of the Sun.—
[108]I mark'd the ſpot where they interr'd this traitor,
And once at midnight ſtole I to his tomb,
And tore his carcaſe from the earth, and left it
A prey to poiſonous flies. Preſerve this crown
With ſacred ſecrecy *.

The community of holy virgins had ſubſiſted for ſome centuries in Peru, before that unfortunate empire became the victim of Spaniſh avarice, hypocriſy, and oppreſſion: yet thoſe hiſtorical ſceptics, who delight to ſtart a doubt on the exiſtence of diſtant virtue, might intimate, with ſome plauſibility, that this numerous community of nominal virgins never contained, perhaps, a ſingle genuine Old Maid. They might ſay, that as the reigning Inca had the privilege of viſiting theſe ſequeſtered ladies (as he was the acknowledged repreſentative of that radiant luminary to whom they all profeſſed a connubial obedience) every virgin-wife [109] of the Sun would be eager to conſummate her marriage, by receiving the careſſes of his imperial proxy.

But to invalidate ſuch a ſceptical objection againſt the perpetual virginity of the Peruvian nuns, it may be ſufficient to obſerve, that, beſides the fifteen hundred virgins who were confined in Cuſco, there were many houſes of retirement in different provinces of the empire, where the moſt lovely damſels were ſequeſtered, as the wives or concubines of the reigning Inca. And ſuch was the religious veneration which the fair Peruvians entertained for their prince, that, if we may believe their hiſtorian, every beautiful virgin conſidered it as the height of felicity to be made a captive during life, for the mere chance of contributing to the pleaſures of her royal maſter.

The courteous Garcilaſo is ſo ſolicitous to vindicate the chaſtity of the fair Peruvians, that he informs us, there were other ladies, who did not live in a ſtate of ſecluſion [110] from ſociety, yet were bound by vows of perpetual virginity, which they moſt faithfully obſerved. He aſſures us, that he was perſonally acquainted with a moſt reſpectable old lady of this claſs, who was both a friend and a relation of the princeſs his mother. Whoever conſiders this honourable teſtimony in their favour, will readily, I truſt, admit that primitive Old Maids exiſted in the weſtern world, before it was enlightened by its European invaders.

I cannot quit this part of my ſubject without paying a juſt compliment to that immortal, though fictitious, maiden of Peru, the Zilia of Madame de Graffigny.—Whoever wiſhes to be more acquainted with the Virgins of the Sun, may find both information and delight in the Peruvian Letters; a work that, for delicacy of ſentiment, and vivacity of deſcription, is inferior, perhaps, to no performance which the literary world has received from the tender and lively imagination of woman.

CHAP. IX. On the Reverence paid to Old Maids by our Northern Anceſtors.

[111]

OF all people on the globe, thoſe to whom the ſiſterhood of Old Maids have been moſt indebted, are undoubtedly our brave progenitors of the North. The manly and generous Goths have acquired a degree of glory, ‘Above all Greek, above all Roman fame,’ by paying the moſt tender deference to the fair ſex, and by ſetting the higheſt value on the virtue of chaſtity. According to the religious creed of theſe gallant tribes, the virgin who died chaſte, like the warrior who fell in battle, was immediately admitted, with diſtinguiſhed honour, into their [112] Valhalla, or Palace of the Dead *. Among the Goddeſſes enumerated in that amuſing collection of Gothic Fables, the Edda, we find the two virgins Fylla and Gefione. The office of the latter was to preſide over maidens after their death. The Hall of Odin, and the Paradiſe of Mahomet, bear a ſtriking reſemblance to each other. The beatitude which departed warriors were ſuppoſed to enjoy in theſe two regions of eternal delight, appears to have conſiſted chiefly in being attended by virgins; and the learned Keyſler ſuppoſes, that Mahomet was indebted to the ancient Scythians for this alluring idea .

[113]The Gothic maid, who perſevered in her chaſtity, had indeed a peculiar claim to diſtinction in the regions of the dead, ſince, according to the popular creed of her country, ſhe was expoſed, when living, to trials of the moſt extraordinary and tremendous nature, ariſing from the influence of Runic ſpells. In the ſingular little poem, in which Odin enumerates his own magical powers, he declares, that ‘he is poſſeſſed of an incantation, by which he can change the mind of any coy maiden, and bend her entirely to his wiſhes *.’‘And long after the age of Odin,’ ſays Bartholine, ‘it was believed, that by a certain Runic compoſition, the mind of any damſel, however averſe to love, might be rendered pliant to the entreaties of her admirer—but if the lover, who attempted to form this amorous ſpell, made any miſtake, even in tracing a ſingle letter of the charm, inſtead of inſpiring his fair one with love, [114] he deprived her of health, and loaded her with ſuch bodily infirmities, as could be cured only by a more ſkilful maſter of this intereſting magic, who might diſcover the errors of the imperfect ſpell, and remove the evil it produced by a new incantation.’

To confirm his account of this popular opinion, my author has quoted a little ſtory, which ſhews what a ſevere misfortune it was to a Gothic lady to be beloved by a blockhead.

The ſum of the ſtory is this:—Helga, the daughter of Thorfin, was reduced to great infirmity, both of body and mind, by one of theſe amorous Runic ſpells, imperfectly written by a bold but ignorant ruſtic, who had firſt vainly ſought her in marriage, and afterwards as vainly courted her to an illicit connection. The ſource of the lady's malady was detected, and ſhe was reſtored to health by the ſuperior magical talents of Egill the poet.

If the heroes of the North, endued as [115] they were with great bodily ſtrength, poſſeſſed alſo this magic influence over the minds of the fair ſex, they certainly deſerve our eſteem for having uſed their double powers with admirable moderation and generoſity. The Goths, in particular, were not only attentive to female honour, in reſpect to the women of their own nation; but they paid the higheſt regard to the chaſtity of their fair captives, in the moſt licentious hours of victory and plunder. When the Gothic king Totila made himſelf maſter of Rome, he exerted ſo much care in preſerving the women from violation, that, according to the hiſtorian Procopius, ‘not a ſingle virgin, or matron, or widow, was diſhonoured *.’

Before that event, an Italian, named Calaber, had complained to the Gothic monarch, that his daughter had been raviſhed [116] by a powerful chieftain of his army. The magnanimous ſovereign doomed the offender to death, although the Gothic nobles interceded for him, on account of his military talents: Totila replied to their interceſſion in a ſpeech truly royal:—the nobles acquieſced in the juſtice of their king: the diſtinguiſhed raviſher ſuffered death for his offence, and his property was given to the maiden whom he had injured *.

A tender veneration for the fair ſex was a characteriſtic of the northern barbarians, to which Caeſar and Tacitus have borne a more early and a very honourable teſtimony. The latter has preſerved the names of two Northern Old Maids, who appear to have been idolized by their gallant countrymen for their prophetical ſagacity. The moſt eminent of theſe was Veleda, a virgin who [117] had extenſive authority over that warlike tribe the Bructeri, according to the cuſtom of the Germans, ſays Tacitus, which led them to worſhip their prophetic females as goddeſſes. Veleda maintained her dignity with all the circumſpection that is proper for a maiden of a character ſo important. She reſided in a lofty tower, and admitted not to her preſence the Roman emiſſaries who wiſhed to converſe with her *: yet, ſharing the misfortunes of her brave countrymen, this chaſte propheteſs fell a victim to Roman tyranny, and is ſuppoſed to have been a captive in Rome during the reign of Veſpaſian. She had, however, a virgin ſucceſſor in her religious office, whoſe name was Ganna; and from this circumſtance Mr. Pellontier, in his elaborate hiſtory of the Celts, has ſuppoſed, with great probability, that in the German [118] tribe of the Bructeri there was a regular ſucceſſion of prophetical Old Maids *.

The active valour, and the enthuſiaſtic gallantry, which the manly barbarians of the North diſcovered, even in their rudeſt ſtate, produced, in proceſs of time, that ſingular and gorgeous monument of Gothic genius, the inſtitution of Chivalry; an inſtitution ſuperior, in ſome points of view, to every thing that we find in the antiquities of Greece and Rome; an inſtitution peculiarly intereſting to the ſiſterhood of Old Maids, as one of its capital objects was the preſervation of virginity!

A literary prelate of our church has attempted, in a ſeries of letters, to elucidate this noble inſtitution, and to vindicate the glory of the Gothic character:—but he has unluckily made two remarks, which would greatly debaſe the very character that he wiſhes to exalt, if they were not, like many of his critical opinions, entirely devoid of all ſolid [119] foundation. As theſe two remarks relate to virgins, and their chaſte Gothic admirers and defenders, I ſhall dwell a little on both. The learned biſhop aſſerts, that the Grecian hero, or demi-god, and the Gothic knight, were characters completely ſimilar, or, to uſe his own words, that ‘the Grecian Bacchus and Hercules were the exact counterparts of Sir Launcelot and Amadis de Gaule *.’ He quotes, indeed, the great authority of Spenſer for this compariſon; but a ſlight reſemblance in valour and conqueſt was ſufficient for the purpoſe of the poet. The critic, attempting to aggrandize the Gothic name, ought, inſtead of adopting this poetical ſimilitude, to have ſhewn how the Grecian differed from the more noble and more virtuous Goth. In the great point of generous chaſtity, the difference was extreme. In the Greek poem, that records the adventures of Bacchus, one of his principal exploits is that of violating a [120] ſleeping nymph *; and the incontinence of Hercules was ſo notorious, that (not to mention his robbing an Amazonian princeſs of her girdle) he is ſaid by Herodotus to have cohabited with a female monſter in Scythia. If the Gothic heroes, Sir Launcelot and Amadis, could ſtart into life, what puniſhment would they think ſevere enough for a critic, who had raſhly dared to call them the exact counterparts of theſe Grecian raviſhers. In fact, no compariſon can be more injurious; for in the heroic ages, the Grecian hero appears to have taken the moſt unwarrantable liberties with every virgin that fell into his power; and the Gothic knight, on the contrary, not only defended the purity of every maid in diſtreſs, but was often bound by the moſt ſolemn oaths to remain a virgin himſelf.—The ſecond remark of the learned biſhop is equally injurious to the pure and liberal heroes of the Gothic or feudal ages: for it ſuppoſes ‘that feudal [121] gallantry was the offspring of the privilege, which the ladies then poſſeſſed, of feudal ſucceſſion *;’ or, in other words, that the Gothic knights idolized the fair for their rank and riches, and not for their beauty and their virtue. We can believe, indeed, that ſuch ideas might influence the courtly manners of a prieſt in the eighteenth century; but a very ſlight acquaintance with hiſtory and romance is ſufficient to convince us, that ſuch ideas were never harboured by any true knight, in the pureſt ages of chivalry.

How far the virtue of the ladies was more reſpected than their rank, by the gallant gentry of this period, we have a ſtriking example in an anecdote related by that indefatigable ſearcher into the records of chivalry, Mr. de Sainte Palaye.

This curious author informs us, ‘that the Chevalier de la Tour, in his inſtructions addreſſed to his daughters, about the year 1371, mentions a knight of his time, who, in paſſing near the caſtles inhabited [122] by ladies, affixed a mark of infamy to the manſion of thoſe, who were not worthy to receive loyal knights purſuing honour and virtue. He beſtowed, at the ſame time, a juſt encomium on thoſe whoſe merits entitled them to public eſteem *.’

That inſinuating Platonic love, which mingled itſelf with the manners of chivalry, has often, perhaps, undermined the chaſtity of a reſolute virgin. It would be a curious ſpeculation to conſider how far this refined paſſion has proved a treacherous deſtroyer of Old Maids, and to trace its prevalence or decline in different ages; but, as I fear it might lead me to ſwell this little work into a formidable ſize, I ſhall content myſelf with pointing out the ſubject as worthy the reſearches of my philoſophical brethren; and only remark, that this chaſte yet dangerous affection was highly faſhionable at the court of England in the year 1634, as [123] we learn from one of Howell's familiar letters *; and that it is ridiculed with much lively ſpirit in a play of Sir William Davenant's, called the Platonic Lovers, repreſented in 1636.

Let us return to the ages of chivalry.— Notwithſtanding the prevalence of this perilous Platonic love in thoſe ages, the ſpirit of the times gave ſuch fidelity, as well as vigour, to all the generous affections, that I am perſuaded many a lovely damſel of that period became a perfect Old Maid, from a faithful attachment to the memory of her gallant deceaſed admirer. I conſider the tender Meleſinda, Counteſs of Tripoli, in Paleſtine, as a moſt reſpectable Old Maid of this claſs. The romantic Troubadour Geoffrey Rudel became enamoured of her beauty by the mere report of her charms. He croſſed the ſea to throw himſelf at her feet. Illneſs ſeized him on the voyage, and when they carried him aſhore, he was ſuppoſed to be dead. The ſingular paſſion of the [124] knight touched the tender ſoul of the Counteſs. She haſtened to viſit this gallant victim of love. He ſtill breathed— received her compaſſionate embraces, and expired with expreſſions of delight on the felicity of dying in her arms. The Counteſs honoured his remains with a magnificent funeral, and retired to lament him, during her life, in the chaſte ſolitude of the cloiſter *.

Strange as it may ſound, the virginity of woman will be often found to have derived its firmeſt ſupport from the gallantry of man; a paradox ſufficiently explained by the preceding ſtory.

As the Greeks were utterly unacquainted with the ſpirit of gallantry, according to the confeſſion of their learned hiſtorian Mr. Mitford , this may be one among other reaſons to account for the extreme ſcarcity of elderly virgins in Greece. For our ſuperior politeneſs, and that happy mixture [125] of frankneſs and delicacy in our manners towards women, by which the modern world is exalted above the ancient, we are certainly indebted to our noble anceſtors of the North, who exhibited, in the earlieſt period of their hiſtory, the moſt generous attention to female honour in general, and a particular veneration for their intelligent Old Maids.

END OF THE FIFTH PART,

PART VI. CONTAINING MISCELLANEOUS MATTER.

[127]

CHAP. I. On certain Paſſages in Engliſh Poets concerning Virginity.—On the medical Influence aſcribed to it.—On various Devices ſuppoſed to aſcertain it, &c.

HAVING examined at large, in a former part of this Eſſay, the many brilliant compliments which the fathers of the church have paid to virginity, I ſhall now conſider the terms in which the greateſt poets of our country have ſpoken of this delicate and intereſting ſubject. As enthuſiaſm is the eſſential quality both of ſaints and poets, we might from hence conjecture, that the genuine Old Maid would [128] be treated with equal reverence by both; but alas! the poetical enthuſiaſt is ſubject to a certain gay and wanton levity of ſpirit, which tempts him now and then to fail in the reſpect that we all owe to the ſiſterhood. This remark is particularly applicable to Chaucer and Shakeſpeare. I am happy, however, in being able to add, for the honour of the Engliſh muſe, that two poets, of equal eminence, have treated virginity with all the modeſt and tender veneration which we have ſeen it receiving from ſo many eloquent ſaints. It will, I truſt, be amuſing to compare the language of theſe four illuſtrious bards on our favourite ſubject. — Let us begin with Chaucer. Though he flouriſhed at a time when the convent and chivalry, thoſe two profeſt guardians of maiden purity, were in faſhion, he does not ſeem to have entertained any very high reverence for a perpetual virgin; at leaſt we find him treating that character with much ſarcaſtic jocularity, in the long [129] and lively prologue with which his Wife of Bath introduces her tale. The following lines ſeem to indicate that the poet himſelf poſſeſſed a ſpirit as amorous as that of the buxom lady, in whoſe character he is ſpeaking.

What rekketh me, though folk ſay vilanie
Of ſhrewed Lamech, and his bigamie;
I wot wel Abraham was an holy man,
And Jacob eke, as fer as ever I can,
And eche of hem had wives mo than two,
And many another holy man alſo.
Wher can ye ſeen, in any maner age,
That highe God defended mariage
By expreſſe word? I pray you telleth me,
Or wher commanded he virginitee?
I wot, as wel as ye, it is no drede,
The Apoſtle, whan he ſpake of maidenhede,
He ſaid, that precept therof had he non;
Men may conſeille a woman to ben on,
But conſeilling is no commandement;
He put it in our owen jugement.
[130]
For hadde God commanded Maidenhede,
Than had he dampned Wedding out of drede;
And certes, if ther were no ſede yſowe,
Virginitee than wherof ſhuld it growe?
Tyrwhitt's Chaucer, vol. i. p. 224.

It is remarkable, that the argument againſt virginity, contained in the laſt couplet, appears alſo in a Greek epigram by Paulus Silentiarius, an author of the ſixth century, who has deſcribed the church of Sancta Sophia at Conſtantinople in a very ſingular poem, and who ſays, in the epigram to which I allude,

Virginity is wealth: but if by all
This wealth were hoarded, life itſelf muſt fall *.

Let me obſerve, for the credit of Chaucer, [131] that he appears deſirous of atoning for the freedom with which he had treated virgins of every claſs, by his verſes on that marvellous holy maid St. Caecilia; a compoſition in which he engaged, if we may believe the following introduction to it, to preſerve himſelf from the perils of licentious indolence:

And for to put us from ſwiche idelneſſe,
That cauſe is of ſo gret confuſion,
I have here don my feithful beſineſſe,
After the Legende, in tranſlation
Right of thy glorious lif and paſſion,
Thou, with thy gerlond wrought of roſe and lilie,
Thee mene I, maid and martir, Seinte Cecilie.
Tyrwhitt's Chaucer, vol. iii. p. 65.

But if Chaucer appears to have failed now and then, in his veneration towards the ſiſterhood, his tranſgreſſions againſt the chaſte community are very trivial, when compared with thoſe of Shakeſpeare. The [132] Old Maid may applaud herſelf for poſſeſſing a charitable ſpirit, if ſhe perfectly forgives this ſaucy prince of dramatic poets for the following paſſage in his comedy of "All's well that Ends Well."

‘It is not politic in the commonwealth of nature to preſerve virginity. Loſs of virginity is rational increaſe; and there was never virgin got, till virginity was firſt loſt. That you were made of, is metal to make virgins. Virginity, by being once loſt, may be ten times found; by being ever kept, is ever loſt: 'tis too cold a companion; away with it! There's little can be ſaid in't, 'tis againſt the rule of nature. To ſpeak on the part of virginity, is to accuſe your mothers; which is moſt infallible diſobedience. He that hangs himſelf is a virgin; virginity murders itſelf; and ſhould be buried in highways, out of all ſanctified limit, as a deſperate offendreſs againſt nature. Virginity breeds mites, much like a cheeſe; conſumes itſelf to the very paring, and ſo [133] dies with feeding its own ſtomach. Beſides, virginity is peeviſh, proud, idle, made of ſelf-love, which is the moſt inhibited ſin in the canon. Keep it not, you cannot chuſe but loſe by't: out with't! Within ten years it will make itſelf two, which is a goodly increaſe, and the principal itſelf not much the worſe— away with't!—'Tis a commodity will loſe the gloſs with lying; the longer kept, the leſs worth:—off with't while 'tis vendible! anſwer the time of requeſt. Virginity, like an old courtier, wears her cap out of faſhion; richly ſuited, but unſuitable: juſt like the brooch and the toothpick, which wear not now. Your date is better in your pye and your porridge than in your cheek: and your virginity, your old virginity, is like one of our French withered pears: it looks ill: it eats dryly:—marry, 'tis a wither'd pear: it was formerly better: marry, yet 'tis a wither'd pear *.’

[134]Let us obſerve, as an apology for our inimitable poet, that he has given us the preceding ſarcaſms againſt the ſiſterhood as the language of a poltroon.

Since the perſonal hiſtory of Shakeſpeare, dark as it is, muſt be ſtill peculiarly intereſting to every Engliſh reader, let me hazard a few conjectures concerning it, that were ſuggeſted by the paſſage I have quoted.

Mr. Malone, in his very ingenious and amuſing attempt to aſcertain the order in which the plays of Shakeſpeare were written, has allotted the comedy of "All's Well that Ends Well" to the year 1598. I was at firſt inclined to ſuppoſe, that this elegant and accurate commentator was miſtaken in this article, from an idea, that Shakeſpeare could not have written ſuch an invective againſt old virginity in the reign of Elizabeth, who prided herſelf on being the queen of Old Maids. But, reflection has led me into a conjecture, which, fanciful as it may ſeem to others, to me appears [135] to confirm the date aſſigned by Mr. Malone to this comedy; and to give alſo additional ſpirit to the paſſage, as directly pointed againſt the queen herſelf, from an honeſt indignation of the poet in behalf of his great friend and patron the liberal earl of Southampton. Mr. Malone, in ſpeaking of this nobleman, has obſerved, ‘that he attended lord Eſſex on the expedition to Cadiz, in 1597, as a volunteer, and afterwards to Ireland as general of the horſe, from which employment he was diſmiſſed by the peremptory orders of Queen Elizabeth, who was offended with him for having preſumed to marry Miſs Elizabeth Vernon [in 1596] without her majeſty's conſent.’

Now it appears to me highly probable, that when his patron was thus injuriouſly treated by the antiquated maiden queen, merely for marrying a lovely young woman, it appears, I ſay, highly probable, that Shakeſpeare might at this juncture point all his wit, with a generous acrimony, againſt [136] that old virginity, which, equivocal as it was, his tyrannical ſovereign conſidered as the higheſt of her titles. In the following year (1599) when Eſſex was in confinement, Lord Southampton and Lord Rutland (as we learn from a letter of that period) ‘came not to the court [at Non-ſuch] but paſſed their tyme in London, merely in going to plaies every day *.’ If the comedy in queſtion made a part of their entertainment, as it probably did, they muſt have enjoyed, with peculiar reliſh, this ſpirited caricatura of old virginity, as highly applicable to that malevolent, affected Old Virgin, who had ſo recently excited their anger and deriſion.

This conjecture may at firſt appear inconſiſtent with the tradition, that Shakeſpeare wrote The Merry Wives of Windſor in the year 1601, at the requeſt of Elizabeth; yet it is poſſible, that her majeſty might enjoin our poet to exhibit a caricatura [137] of love, in the perſon of Falſtaff, to atone for the ſatirical freedom with which he had delineated old virginity in the ſpeech of Parolles. We muſt at the ſame time confeſs, that this imperious Old Maid would have probably corrected the dramatiſt in a manner much more ſevere, had ſhe ever ſuſpected him of pointing his ſatire againſt her own princely perſon; although ſhe owed him much indulgence for the ſublime compliment which he had formerly paid her, ‘As a fair Veſtal throned by the Weſt*.’

But it is time to quit our uncertain conjectures on this inimitable ſovereign of the drama, to ſpeak with more certainty of a poet, who has treated the ſiſterhood with ſuperior courteſy. I mean the gentle Spenſer; who has not only celebrated the virginity of his queen, in the Introduction to his Legend of Chaſtitie , but in his character [138] of Belphoebe has given us the following beautiful deſcription of this female perfection.

That daintie roſe, the daughter of her morne,
More deare than life ſhe tendered, whoſe flowre.
The girlond of her honour did adorne;
Ne ſuffred ſhe the middaye's ſcorching powre,
Ne the ſharp northerne wind thereon to ſhowre;
But lapped up her ſilken leaves moſt chaire,
When ſo the froward ſkye began to lowre:
But ſoone as calmed was the chriſtall aire,
She did it faire diſpred, and let to floriſh faire.
Eternall God, in his almighty powre,
To make enſample of his heavenly grace,
In Paradiſe whilome did plant this flowre;
Whence he it fetcht out of her native place,
And did in ſtocke of earthly fleſh enrace,
That mortall men her glory ſhould admire:
In gentle ladies breſte, and bounteous race
Of womankind, it faireſt flowre doth ſpire,
And beareth fruit of honour and all chaſt deſire.
[139]
Fayre ympes of beautie, whoſe bright ſhining beames
Adorne the world with like to heavenly light,
And to your willes both royalties and reames
Subdew, through conqueſt of your wondrous might!
With this faire flowre your goodly girlonds dight,
Of chaſtitie and vertue virginall,
That ſhall embelliſh more your beautie bright,
And crowne your heades with heavenly coronall,
Such as the angels weare before Gods tribunall.
To your faire ſelves a faire enſample frame
Of this faire virgin, this Belphoebe faire,
To whom, in perfect love and ſpotleſſe fame
Of chaſtitie, none living may compaire:
Ne poyſnous envy juſtly can empaire
The prayſe of her freſh flowring maydenhead;
For-thy ſhe ſtandeth on the higheſt ſtaire
[140]Of th' honourable ſtage of womanhead,
That ladies all may follow her enſample dead*.

To theſe lines of Spenſer I am tempted to add another portrait of virginity, by his neglected but ſpirited diſciple Phineas Fletcher, who was once called the Spenſer of his age. In his allegorical poem, intitled "The Purple Iſland," after giving a deſcription of Agnia, or Chaſtitie in the Married, to uſe the words of his own illuſtration, he proceeds thus:

With her, her ſiſter went, a warlike maid,
Parthenia, all in ſteel and gilded arms;
In needle's ſtead a mighty ſpear ſhe ſway'd,
With which in bloody fields, and fierce alarms,
The boldeſt champion ſhe down would bear,
And like a thunderbolt wide paſſage tear,
Flinging all to the earth with her enchanted ſpear.
[141]Her goodly armour ſeem'd a garden green,
Where thouſand ſpotleſſe lilies freſhly blew;
And on her ſhield the 'lone bird might be ſeen,
Th' Arabian bird, ſhining in colours new;
Itſelf unto itſelf was onely mate,
Ever the ſame, but new in newer date,
And underneath was writ, Such is chaſte ſingle ſtate *.

After a long deſcription of this heroine, the poet concludes her character in the following ſtanza:

A thouſand knights woo'd her with buſie pain;
To thouſand ſhe her virgin grant denied;
Although, her dear-ſought love to entertain,
They all their wit, and all their ſtrength applied:
Yet in her heart Love cloſe his ſcepter ſway'd,
That to an heavenly ſpouſe her thoughts betraid,
Where ſhe a maiden wife might live, and wifely maid.

[142]But of all the poetical compliments that virginity has received, none, I think, are ſo truly beautiful and ſublime, as thoſe which have proceeded from the chaſte enthuſiaſm of Milton. Let the reader judge from the following paſſages of Comus.—The elder brother, in ſpeaking of his loſt ſiſter, ſays,

She has a hidden ſtrength,
— — — — — — — —
Which if Heaven gave, it may be term'd her own:
'Tis Chaſtity, my brother, Chaſtity:
She that has that is clad in complete ſteel,
And, like a quiver'd nymph with arrows keen,
May trace huge foreſts and unharbour'd heaths,
Infamous hills, and ſandy perilous wilds,
Where, through the ſacred rays of Chaſtity,
No ſavage fierce, bandite, or mountaneer,
Will dare to ſoil her virgin purity:
Yea there, where very deſolation dwells,
By grots, and caverns ſhagg'd with horrid ſhades,
[143]She may paſs on, with unblench'd majeſty,
Be it not done in pride or in preſumption.—
Some ſay, no evil thing that walks by night
In fog, or fire, by lake, or mooriſh fen,
Blue meager hag, or ſtubborn unlaid ghoſt,
That breaks his magic chains at curfeu time;
No goblin, or ſwart faery of the mine,
Hath hurtful pow'r o'er true virginity.—
Do ye believe me yet, or ſhall I call
Antiquity from the old ſchools of Greece
To teſtify the arms of Chaſtity?
Hence had the huntreſs Dian her dread bow,
Fair ſilver-ſhafted queen, for ever chaſte,
Wherewith ſhe tam'd the brinded lioneſs
And ſpotted mountain pard, but ſet at nought
The frivolous bolt of Cupid; Gods and men
Fear'd her ſtern frown, and ſhe was queen o' th' woods.
What was that ſnaky-headed Gorgon ſhield
That wiſe Minerva wore, unconquer'd virgin,
Wherewith ſhe freez'd her foes to congeal'd ſtone,
But rigid looks of chaſte auſterity,
And noble grace, that daſh'd brute violence
[144]With ſudden adoration and blank awe?
So dear to Heaven is ſaintly Chaſtity,
That when a ſoul is found ſincerely ſo,
A thouſand liveried angels lacky her,
Driving far off each thing of ſin and guilt,
And in clear dream and ſolemn viſion
Tell her of things that no groſs ear can hear,
Till oft converſe with heavenly habitants
Begin to caſt a beam on th' outward ſhape,
The unpolluted temple of the mind,
And turns it by degrees to the ſoul's eſſence,
Till all be made immortal *.

Again, the lady herſelf, in her addreſs to Comus, vindicates, with great ſpirit, the dignity and power of maiden excellence.

To him that dares
Arm his profane tongue with contemptuous words
Againſt the ſun-clad power of Chaſtity,
Fain would I ſomething ſay; yet to what end?
Thou haſt nor ear nor ſoul to apprehend
[145]The ſublime notion and high myſtery,
That muſt be uttered to unfold the ſage
And ſerious doctrine of Virginity.

While we admire the tranſcendant grace and energy of Milton's language, let us remark, in juſtice to an elder and admirable poet of our country, that moſt of the preceding ideas, which relate to the prerogatives of the genuine and confirmed virgin, are copied from that neglected but very beautiful paſtoral drama, the Faithful Shepherdeſs of Fletcher. In this drama, Clorin, a tender and pious nymph, having buried her lover, and being determined to die an Old Maid, reſides by his grave in a wood, and is attended by a modeſt and obedient ſatyr. The cauſe of this obedience, from ſuch a creature, ſhe expreſſes in the following ſpeech; to which Milton has paid the higheſt honour, by more than one imitation of it.

What greatneſs, or what private hidden power
Is there in me, to draw ſubmiſſion
[146]From this rude man and beaſt?—Sure I was mortal,
The daughter of a ſhepherd; he was mortal;
And ſhe that bore me mortal: Prick my hand,
And it will bleed; a fever ſhakes me, and
The ſelf-ſame wind that makes the young lambs ſhrink
Makes me a-cold; my fear ſays I am mortal:
Yet I have heard (my mother told it me)
And now I do believe it, if I keep
My virgin flower uncropt, pure, chaſte, and fair,
No goblin, wood-god, fairy, elf, or fiend,
Satyr, or other power that haunts the groves,
Shall hurt my body, or by vain illuſion
Draw me to wander after idle fires,
Or voices calling me in dead of night,
To make me follow, and ſo tole me on,
Through mire and ſtanding pools, to find my ruin;
Elſe, why ſhould this rough thing, who never knew
Manners, nor ſmooth humanity, whoſe heats
Are rougher than himſelf, and more miſhapen,
[147]Thus mildly kneel to me? Sure there's a power
In that great name of virgin, that binds faſt
All rude uncivil bloods, all appetites
That break their confines: then, ſtrong Chaſtity,
Be thou my ſtrongeſt guard, for here I'll dwell,
In oppoſition againſt Fate and Hell*.

We find in the ſame drama, that the poet has ingeniouſly availed himſelf of the popular opinion concerning the medical power of the true maiden. His holy ſhepherdeſs, Clorin, ſays, in deſcribing herſelf,

Of all green wounds I know the remedies,
In men or cattle, be they ſtung with ſnakes,
Or charm'd with powerful words of wicked art,
Or be they love-ſick, or through too much heat
Grown wild or lunatic, their eyes or ears
Thicken'd with miſty film of dulling rheum;
Theſe I can cure, ſuch ſecret virtues lie
In herbs, applied by a virgin's hand .

The ſalutary influence aſcribed to virginity appears to have been very extenſive. [148] In the old poem on Sir Bevis of Southampton, we find that noble knight preſerved from his enemy, the dragon, by luckily ſtumbling into a well of miraculous purity:

For ſome time dwelled in that land
A virgin full of Chriſtes ſand,
That had been bathed in that well,
That ever after, as men can tell,
Might no venomous worme come therein,
By the virtue of that virgin *.

But the idea that medical powers belong to the true maiden, though it was cheriſhed by our romances of chivalry, and ſtill more by our monaſtic legends, did not firſt ariſe from modern ſuperſtition. We learn from a paſſage in Aelian, that ſome of the ancients admitted even the apparel of a genuine maid among the articles of their materia medica; nor did they ſuppoſe the efficacy of this ſingular medicine confined to the human frame: "a horſe," ſays the author [149] I have juſt mentioned, ‘may be cured of the ſtrangury, if a virgin will unlooſe her zone, and apply it to his head.’ That dreadful diſeaſe of man, which has been ſuppoſed, both in England and France, to admit of no cure, but from the touch of the ſovereign, might be healed, according to the opinion of the ancients, by the purer hand of virginity. But as theſe maidenly remedies have long ceaſed to be faſhionable in the medical world, I ſhall not ſwell theſe volumes by enumerating the different maladies to which they were applied, or the various modes of application.

Ceaſing, therefore, to conſider virginity as a noſtrum, let us proceed to remark, that it has ſometimes been the patient, as well as the inſtrument, of quacks. It is one of the moſt ſtriking foibles in man, that he will often attempt to aſcertain, by inſufficient teſts, many doubtful points, which it would be much wiſer to admit entirely upon truſt. Hence have ariſen many fanciful and fallacious devices to prove the integrity [150] of a virgin. Pliny the naturaliſt informs us, that the ſtone Gagates of Lycia was uſed for this curious experiment; and Albertus Magnus is ſtill more explicit in ſpeaking of its wonderful property *. A ſimilar power of proving the fidelity of a wife is aſcribed to the magnet, in the pleaſing little Greek poem on precious ſtones, which bears the name of Orpheus .

But the moſt ſurpriſing evidence, that ever bore teſtimony againſt a frail woman, was a bird called Porphyrio, which is ſaid to have had ſo delicate a ſenſe of honour, that it put an end to its own exiſtence, if its miſtreſs offended againſt the laws of chaſtity .

On this ſubject we ought not to omit the [151] ſerpent kept in a temple of Juno, which diſdained to accept any food unleſs offered by the pure hand of a virgin. This dainty animal is mentioned by Aelian, and alluded to by the poet Propertius, who tells us, in elegant and pictureſque verſes, of which the following are an imperfect copy,

In pale ſuſpenſe the fearful damſels gaz'd,
Who to the ſerpent's mouth raſh offerings rais'd;
From the chaſte maid the proffer'd food he takes,
While in her trembling hand the baſket ſhakes *.

In the Greek romances we find various trials of virginity circumſtantially deſcribed. Chariclia, the heroine of Heliodorus, is repreſented by that elegant and lively writer as paſſing with intrepid innocence through a fiery ordeal. The lovely maiden, arrayed [152] in a Delphic robe, with her hair diſhevelled, and with a countenance expreſſing religious tranſport, leaps on a blazing altar, and ſtands unhurt amid the flames, attracting univerſal admiration, as more like a Divinity than a mortal *.

Achilles Tatius has delineated a ſcene of a ſimilar kind, ſtill more pictureſque. He tells us, that in a grove belonging to Diana there was a cave of peculiar ſanctity devoted to Pan. Juſt within the portal of this cave, a miraculous pipe was ſuſpended, formed of thoſe reeds into which the nymph Syrinx was metamorphoſed, when ſhe fled from the wanton purſuit of the ruſtic God.

A wondrous power reſided in this pipe, and rendered it an unqueſtionable teſt of maiden innocence. Whenever a true virgin entered the cave, ſounds of the ſweeteſt melody proceeded from this inſtrument; but if one who had loſt her purity was raſh enough to approach it, the pipe continued [153] ſilent, and, inſtead of muſic, a groan of lamentation was ſent forth from the cave.

Leucippe, the heroine of Tatius, being accuſed of impurity, is brought to aſcertain either her guilt or innocence by this awful experiment. She is ſurrounded by ſolicitous ſpectators: her malignant accuſer, her anxious father, and her lover, ſuffering ſtill ſtronger agitation—confident, indeed, in the virtue of his miſtreſs, yet trembling leſt ſhe might ſuffer from the wantonneſs of Pan. Thus attended, the virgin, with a meek and modeſt, yet intrepid dignity, deſcends into the cave. What a group for the pencil! New pictures ſucceed.—The doors of the cave now cloſe upon her. What a moment of univerſal anxiety!— The pipe begins to ſound with peculiar ſweetneſs—the doors unfold, and the virgin aſcends to honour and to love. What a ſcene of triumph and ecſtacy for her father and her future huſband!

In the ſame romance we have another trial of virgin purity, intitled, "The Trial of [154] the Stygian Fountain." The ceremonial of it is thus deſcribed:—A maiden accuſed of impurity ſwears that the accuſation is falſe. Her oath is inſcribed on a ſmall tablet, and, with this ſuſpended to her neck, ſhe deſcends into the fountain. If ſhe has ſworn falſely, the water begins to ſwell, and riſes till, reaching her neck, it overwhelms the tablet; but, if ſhe is a genuine maid, the placid water continues below her knee, and the triumphant virgin, having remained her appointed time in the fountain, is led out of it by the applauding prieſt *.

In the romance, which bears the name of the learned biſhop Euſtathius, a ſimilar trial occurs. That amuſing author deſcribes a temple of Diana, in which was a golden ſtatue of the Goddeſs bending her bow; at her feet flowed a murmuring fountain, by which the chaſte Divinity uſed to prove the innocence of her votaries. The ſuſpected virgin was conducted into [155] this myſterious water with a crown of laurel on her head. If ſhe was really pure, the Goddeſs did not extend her bow, the water remained calm, and the maiden paſſed quietly through it, retaining her laurel crown on her head; but if (to copy the expreſſion of Euſtathius) the breath of Venus had extinguiſhed her virgin lamp, Diana directed her bow againſt the pretended virgin, and ſeemed to aim at her head. The affrighted culprit hid herſelf in the ſtream to avoid the ſhaft, and her laurel wreath was waſhed off by the murmuring water *.

Incidents of this kind ſeem to belong to romance; yet the learned editor of Euſtathius, in a note to this ſtory, has produced a ſimilar anecdote from a grave hiſtorian. He quotes a paſſage from an unpubliſhed Greek chronicle of Conſtantinople, which informs us, that a ſtatue of Venus in that city had this formidable attribute of diſcovering the foibles of the fair: it aſcertained [156] the purity of married women and of virgins, both rich and poor; but at laſt, ſays the chronicle, the ſiſter of Juſtin's wife deſtroyed the ſtatue for having detected her frailty *.

The only remains of theſe ſuperſtitious and fantaſtic trials of virginity, that have deſcended to our more refined and enlightened age, appear in the common jeſt of trying to rekindle by the breath an extinguiſhed candle. Paſquier, the learned French antiquarian, has written a chapter on this ſportive cuſtom: he does not, indeed, attempt to diſcover its origin, but gravely takes occaſion from the idea to aſſert the deſpicable emptineſs of all animal pleaſure, and to affirm, on the authority of Tertullian, that the happineſs of woman conſiſts in her virginity .

I ſhall cloſe this miſcellaneous chapter by acquainting the chaſte ſiſterhood with many vain attempts that I have made to [157] elucidate a very myſterious proverb, by which their whole order is prepoſterouſly condemned to a very ſtrange and unworthy deſtiny; I mean the proverb, which ſays, that Old Maids are doomed ‘to lead apes in hell.’ After conſulting the profoundeſt antiquarians of our own country, and ſome upon the continent, I am ſtill unable to aſcertain the origin of this remarkable ſaying. One of my ingenious friends is convinced that it was invented by the Monks, to allure opulent females into the cloiſter, by teaching them, that if they did not become the ſpouſes either of man or God, they muſt expect to be united, in a future world, to the moſt impertinent and diſguſting companion. For my own part, I am inclined to rank an idea ſo injurious to my fair friends among the diſmal and deſpicable ſuperſtitions of Aegypt, as I find a paſſage in Hermes Triſmegiſtus, which ſays, that thoſe who die childleſs are, immediately after their death, tormented by [158] demons *. I muſt confeſs, however, that from the very high reſpect which the Aegyptians entertained for the ape, the demons intended by Triſmegiſtus could hardly be of that figure. Indeed, the affectionate adoration which apes have ſometimes received, as we learn from the pious poet Prudentius , has at times led me to conjecture, that the ſaying in queſtion might have ariſen in ſome country where it bore a very different meaning from what we annex to it at preſent; where this deſtiny of the ancient virgin was intended, not as the puniſhment, but the reward of her continence.

I do not recollect to have ſeen the expreſſion of leading apes in any Engliſh author before Shirley the dramatic poet. In his comedy, called The School of Compliment, printed in 1637, there is a ſcene, in [159] which, to humour the madneſs of Infortunio, the ſeveral characters on the ſtage pretend to be damned. Delia, among the reſt, declares, that ‘ſhe was damned for being a ſtale virgin, and that her puniſhment was to lead apes in hell.

A living poet of our country ſeems to have wiſhed to make the ſiſterhood amends for the inſult of this injurious proverb, by aſſigning a place to Old Maids in his poetical elyſium. As the friend and advocate of the chaſte community, I tranſcribe with ſingular pleaſure the following verſes, in which their neglected merits are ſo liberally diſtinguiſhed.

Turn to this chearful band, and mark in this
Spirits who juſtly claim my realms of bliſs!
Moſt lovely theſe! when judg'd by generous truth,
Tho' beauty is not theirs, nor blooming youth;
For theſe are they, who, in life's thorny ſhade,
Repin'd not at the name of ancient maid.
[160]No proud diſdain, no narrowneſs of heart,
Held them from Hymen's tempting rites apart;
But fair diſcretion led them to withdraw
From the priz'd honour of his proffer'd law;
To quit the object of no haſty choice
In mild ſubmiſſion to a parent's voice;
The valued lover with a ſigh reſign,
And ſacrifice delight at duty's ſhrine.
With ſmiles they bore, from angry ſpleen exempt,
Injurious mockery and coarſe contempt:
'Twas theirs to claſp, each ſelfiſh care above,
"A ſiſter's orphans with parental love,
And all her tender offices ſupply,
Though bound not by the ſtrong maternal tie;
'Twas theirs to bid inteſtine quarrels ceaſe,
And form the cement of domeſtic peace:
No throbbing joy their ſpotleſs boſom fir'd,
Save what Benevolence herſelf inſpir'd;
No praiſe they ſought, except that praiſe refin'd,
Which the heart whiſpers to the worthy mind *.

CHAP. II. Containing the Diſcuſſion of a very delicate and important Queſtion.

[161]

AS good fortune has thrown into my hands a manuſcript oration on a topic highly intereſting to the ſiſterhood, I ſhall inſert it in this chapter; and, to gratify, to the utmoſt of my power, the curioſity of my fair readers, I ſhall introduce it by a little hiſtory of the incidents which have enabled me to enrich my work with ſo ſingular an embelliſhment.

A few years ago I had the happineſs of ranking among my friends a gentleman of the moſt amiable ſingularity. He was a baronet of an ancient family, and very ample poſſeſſions, in the North of England. His father, who had all the convivial ſpirit ſo prevalent in that part of our iſland, paid a very heavy tax for his bacchanalian enjoyments, [162] in ſuffering the frequent viſits of an excruciating gout, and in dying at laſt a martyr of the bottle. My friend Sir Hilary Highman had all the natural vivacity of his father; he loved pleaſure as well, but, warned by ſo ſtriking an example, he reſolved to purſue it, though with equal ardour, yet in paths of leſs peril.

While his father was yet living, he diſcovered in his own frame, young as it was, ſome traces of that formidable diſtemper, to which parental intemperance had given him too good a title. This tendency he wiſely determined to counteract, by a ſteady adherence to the moſt ſimple diet. Yet, as he was unwilling to irritate the growing ill-humour of a parent, whom he tenderly regarded, he engaged not in this degenerate regimen, till he had taken leave of the jovial, teſty, and crippled old gentleman, to embark in a favourite project of viſiting the ruins of Greece. An oppoſite conduct might have endangered his future fortune; as the impetuous old toper deteſted the [163] character of a milkſop, and would not, perhaps, have ſcrupled to diſinherit a ſon, merely for renouncing that feſtive poiſon, which had deſtroyed his own temper, and was rapidly preying on the dregs of his exhauſted life. My friend, indeed, when he ſet out on his travels, relying on the ſtrength of his father's conſtitution, entertained a very lively hope of amuſing the old knight, on his return, with a hiſtory of his adventures. But the fates determined otherwiſe. A long ſcene of election feſtivity hurried this hearty friend of Bacchus to the grave; and the temperate Sir Hilary was recalled from the ruins of Athens, to take poſſeſſion of an eſtate large enough to furniſh every kind of luxury to an attic imagination. Abſtemious as he was, Sir Hilary was a genuine diſciple of Epicurus; he conſidered pleaſure as the univerſal aim of every ſenſible being; but the pleaſure he courted was only ſuch as ariſes from the indulgence of an elegant fancy and a benevolent heart. He was [164] particularly fond of female ſociety; and his paſſions were vehement, though tender; a Grecian lady, of exquiſite beauty and accompliſhments, inflamed them to the higheſt degree, and he had been privately married to her many months, when the intelligence arrived which recalled him to his country. The delights ariſing from his new connection, and the general ſtate of his father's ruined health and temper, allowed him not to feel any great poignancy or grief, though he frequently ſpoke of the departed old gentleman with a grateful and tender regret. Sir Hilary was far from ſhewing any eagerneſs to take poſſeſſion of the princely opulence which had now devolved to him. His affectionate attention to his lovely Greek, rendered his travels homeward particularly ſlow. This fair partner of his fortune was advanced in pregnancy. Her huſband would have kindly waited the event on the coaſt of Aſia Minor, of which ſhe was a native; but it was ſettled, at the requeſt of the lady, that they [165] ſhould proceed on their way to England as far as Rome, where ſhe had the happineſs of preſenting to Sir Hilary two lovely boys, not inferior to the twin founders of the imperial city. The exulting mother ſoon recovered her ſtrength with increaſing lovelineſs; and the whole party arrived, with chequered ſenſations of joy and ſorrow, at the paternal ſeat of Sir Hilary. The young baronet paid all decent honours to the memory of his father, and handſomely provided for a few old domeſtics, who had ſhared both the joviality and the infirmities of their late maſter. He ſoon began to new-model his houſe, and to regulate his eſtabliſhment. In both it was his chief aim to unite elegance with comfort, and gaiety with temperance. He built a very ſpacious library, with an adjoining ſaloon; the latter was well furniſhed with a few admirable pictures, and the former completely enriched with books, buſts, and ſtatues. Sir Hilary had imbibed very early an extreme paſſion for Grecian literature, which the incidents [166] of his life had tended to increaſe. He particularly admired that caſt of converſation which uſed to form the moſt delightful part of an ancient attic entertainment, and he often wiſhed to ſubſtitute ſomething of this nature in the room of thoſe dull or diſguſting topics of diſcourſe, which produce ſuch a heavy effect in the rural viſits of our Engliſh gentry. He was a hearty friend to every harmleſs, ſocial pleaſure; but he wiſhed to give a little tincture of literary refinement to his convivial neighbourhood. This was no eaſy taſk; yet Sir Hilary accompliſhed it: and indeed there is hardly any enterprize too hard for a man, who poſſeſſed, as he did, engaging manners with warm philanthropy, and a very abundant portion of opulence and wit. Events, however, happened luckily to facilitate his deſign. On his extenſive eſtate there were two livings of conſiderable value; they had been occupied by two orthodox topers, promoted by the old baronet for their uniform adherence to the bottle. Theſe honeſt divines [167] had drank ſo deeply together to the memory of the good old knight, that they ſoon finiſhed their laſt bumper on earth, and ſlept in peace with their patron. Sir Hilary ſeized, with great pleaſure, this opportunity of ſettling in his neighbourhood two gentlemen whoſe habits of life were congenial with his own. He was happy in beſtowing eaſe and independence on two liberal men, with whom he had contracted an intimacy at college, and who had been the aſſociates of his early ſtudies. They were perſons of equal integrity, but of different characters. Literature was the paſſion of each; but the firſt valued learning only as it led him to the ſerious practice of virtue; the ſecond loved it as the moſt pleaſing exerciſe of an active and playful ſpirit. Oppoſite as they were in their diſpoſitions, they had a perfect eſteem for each other, and for the amiable patron, who conſidered their ſociety as one of the higheſt gratifications that propitious fortune had beſtowed upon him. Theſe clerical friends [168] were both in the prime of life; and, as they were both unmarried, they were particularly careſſed by the families around them. By the aid of theſe gentlemen, with a third clergyman, who reſided under his roof as a domeſtic chaplain, and his aſſiſtant in the education of his children, Sir Hilary commenced an inſtitution, which contributed not a little to the amuſement of himſelf and his acquaintance. At the full of every moon, it was his cuſtom to give a very elegant entertainment to the gentry of his neighbourhood. On theſe days, in the interval between tea and ſupper, orations were read or ſpoken in the ſpacious library, on a ſubject propoſed at the preceding aſſembly. It was the banquet of Plato, an author in whom Sir Hilary delighted, that firſt inſpired him with this idea: and in theſe Engliſh dialogues the moral ſpirit of that ſublime Grecian was ſometimes very happily copied, without any mixture of the groſs indecency, with which the moſt engaging of his productions is miſerably diſgraced. [169] Sir Hilary did not confine his entertainment to proſaic diſcourſes; but profeſſed himſelf equally obliged to thoſe gueſts, who produced either a proſe diſſertation, or a poetical jeu d'eſprit on the topic of the day. The verſes were depoſited on a large library table, and uſually read by Sir Hilary's ſecretary, who acted as clerk to the aſſembly, before the orations began; which were generally delivered by their reſpective authors, and ſometimes without any premeditation. Extempore verſes, compoſed upon the ſpot, were alſo kindly received; and if thrown on the table while the aſſembly was ſitting, they were read by the clerk, when the orations were cloſed, as a kind of epilogue to the amuſements of the day.

I happened to meet my old acquaintance Sir Hilary in London, at a time when I was greatly reduced by a ſevere and lingering illneſs. He kindly inſiſted on my paſſing a few weeks with him at his country ſeat, in the friendly hope of contributing to the recovery of my health, affirming, with his [170] uſual pleaſantry, that one of his attic banquets would prove to me a nervous cordial; and conduce, more than the moſt faſhionable medicines, to the revival of a literary invalid. My friend's inſtitution was now indeed in a very flouriſhing ſtate. Sir Hilary had, by degrees, diffuſed around his neighbourhood a ſpirit of amicable and elegant emulation. He had particularly careſſed and animated the young people in the genteel families around him, and in the courſe of a few years he had formed, in his aſſembly, a little band of orators, whom Athens herſelf might have liſtened to with pleaſure. The ladies, though they never ſo far forgot the delicacy of their ſex as to declaim in theſe meetings, yet contributed not a little to the general amuſement, by various compoſitions.

As to myſelf, I wiſhed in vain for powers to take an active part in the pleaſing ceremony of the place; but my health was ſtill ſo weak, that I dared not venture on any kind of mental exertion. I had, however, [171] before this period, conceived the firſt idea of my preſent work, and, wiſhing to derive all the advantages I could from this accompliſhed ſociety, I requeſted my friend Sir Hilary to propoſe the following queſtion as a ſubject of debate in one of his aſſemblies: — ‘Which is the more eligible for a wife, a Widow, or an Old Maid?’ —My lively friend very chearfully acquieſced in my propoſal; and the topic gave birth to much innocent pleaſantry, and to ſome ſerious argument. I heartily wiſh it were in my power to enrich theſe volumes with many of the pieces, both in proſe and rhyme, that were produced on this occaſion; but all that I was allowed to treaſure up, amounts only to three epigrams, and a ſingle oration. It is, however, the very oration that I was moſt ſolicitous to obtain; for, alas! with grief I confeſs, that although ſeven orators harangued upon the queſtion, one alone had generoſity enough to argue on the ſide of the neglected ſiſterhood; with what powers of rhetoric, my reader will very ſoon have [172] the opportunity of judging. I ſhall firſt produce the poetical jeux d'eſprit. The firſt of the three following epigrams was found, with other pieces of poetry, on the library table, and were recited, according to the ceremonial I have mentioned, before the orations began; the others were literally produced extempore, and of courſe were not read till the ſpeeches were cloſed; but as they aroſe from the preceding epigram, I ſhall here inſert them united.

EPIGRAM On this Queſtion, ‘Which is the more eligible for a Wife, a Widow, or an Old Maid?’
Ye, who to wed the ſweeteſt wife would try,
Obſerve how men a ſweet Cremona buy!
New violins they ſeek not from the trade,
But one, on which ſome good muſician play'd:
Strings never try'd ſome harſhneſs will produce;
The fiddle's harmony improves by uſe.
IMPROMPTU On the preceding Epigram.
[173]
One rule will Wives and Fiddles fit,
Is falſely ſaid, I fear, by wit,
To ſad experience blind:
For Woman's an AEolian harp,
Whoſe every note, or flat or ſharp,
Depends upon the wind.
A REPLY To the two Epigrammatiſts.
Fiddles and Harps no more compare
(Improper ſymbols!) to the Fair,
However they attract!
Ye wits! for Woman let me ſee,
If Muſic will not yield to me,
Juſtly to grace
The female race,
An image more exact!
Woman, I ſay, or dame or laſs,
Is an Harmonica of glaſs,
Celeſtial and complete:
[174]If new, or by ſome trials known,
It matters not
A ſingle jot;
When rightly touch'd, its every tone
Is raviſhingly ſweet.

There were other verſes recited, of a more ſerious caſt. Some juvenile bards wandered a little from the ſubject; and a young Oxonian forgot the reſpect due to both parties concerned in the queſtion; for, inſtead of deciding the point in debate, he ſatirized both the Widow and the Old Maid with much ſarcaſtic wit, and concluded with a moſt animated panegyric on a blooming girl of eighteen.

More than one poet, however, pleaded the cauſe of the Widow with energy and pathos; but the frail nymphs of Parnaſſus were ſo unfriendly to the claims of the elderly virgin ſiſterhood, that no bard appeared to ſing decidedly in favour of the poor Old Maid: nor will this circumſtance be thought ſurpriſing, when we recollect, [175] that among the orators (a more reaſonable ſet of men than the ſportive ſons of Apollo) the Old Maiden found only a ſingle advocate. Of the ſix ſpeakers who argued with vehemence for the Widow, the moſt amuſing was a lively and honeſt fox-hunter, not remarkable for erudition, but poſſeſſed of ſtrong mental powers in a robuſt conſtitution, and happy in a rich vein of original humour. This gentleman was actually in chace of a young, opulent, and lovely Widow. He gloried in this purſuit, and, being animated with the faireſt proſpect of ſucceſs, he ſpoke with peculiar force and felicity on the topic of the day. I muſt confeſs, that he ſometimes threw the audience into a kind of panic, by appearing to gallop very faſt towards the precipice of indecency; but whenever he found himſelf on the brink of it, he rapidly made ſo delicate and dexterous a turn, that he converted the terrors of the company into eaſe, admiration, and good-humour.

The debate on this ſide of the queſtion [176] was cloſed by a ſpeaker of an oppoſite character. He was a gentleman of extenſive learning and a grave deportment, yet eaſy in his addreſs and forcible in his elocution. He gave us a ſerious yet entertaining hiſtory of widowhood, and enumerated the happy events, and the illuſtrious characters, to which the ſecond marriage of ſome eminent Widows had given birth. When his peroration was ended, which, being tender and pathetic, formed a pleaſing contraſt to the humorous arguments of his predeceſſor, a gentleman aroſe, who poſſeſſed, with a very graceful perſon, an uncommon archneſs of countenance; and in a voice peculiarly melodious, he delivered the following oration:

Mr. Preſident,

Though I was aware that a very formidable majority of ſpeakers would appear againſt me, it is yet with confidence that I engage on the unpopular ſide of the preſent queſtion; a queſtion upon [177] which the prejudices, the paſſions, and the practice of mankind, are in direct oppoſition to the cleareſt dictates of reaſon and of juſtice! Yes! Sir, I will be ſo bold as to affirm, that if the conduct and the opinions of men were under the ſteady guidance of equity, this queſtion could not remain doubtful for a ſingle minute, in the mind of any man; it muſt be decided, without a moment's heſitation, in favour of that injured, that derided being, the involuntary Old Maid, whoſe advocate I profeſs myſelf: nor would ſuch a deciſion depend on any prior ſentiments, which the arbiter might form, to the diſcredit, or to the glory, of wedlock; for, whether we conſider marriage as a burthen or as an enjoyment, it is equally unjuſt that any female ſhould twice ſuffer that burthen, or be twice indulged in that enjoyment, while another, at the ſame period of life, is kept an utter ſtranger to the cares or to the delights of an important office, which [178] ſhe is equally ready to aſſume, and equally able to ſupport. This poſition is, I truſt, ſo evident, that, if I could convert this aſſembly into the ſupreme court of judicature, and bring to its bar both the Widow and the Old Maid, as rival claimants of the nuptial coronet, on the mere principles of right, I am perſuaded the integrity of this audience would ſoon terminate the conteſt, and ratify the title of my client by an unanimous decree. But alas! in this point there is no tribunal on earth, to which the diſconſolate Old Maiden can ſucceſsfully apply for ſubſtantial juſtice. The clamour of prejudice is againſt her, and her pretenſions are derided; while cuſtom and commodity, ‘That ſmooth-fac'd gentleman, tickling commodity,’ are ſuch active and proſperous agents for her antagoniſt, the Widow, that ſhe, this inſidious antagoniſt! is admitted, [179] perhaps, three, four, or even five times to the recent altar of Hymen, while my unfortunate client, the neglected Old Maid, however wiſhfully ſhe may look towards the portal, is not allowed to find even a temporary ſhelter within a portico of the temple.—Can this, Sir, be called equity? Is it not injuſtice? Is it not barbarity?—But I may be told, that in the common occurrences of life, in a tranſaction ſuch as marriage, peculiarly ſubject to fancy and caprice, we muſt not expect, we muſt not require men to obſerve the nicer dictates of ſtrict equity, and a ſpeculative rule of right.—Be it ſo!—I will not, therefore, on this important queſtion, appeal ſolely to the conſciences of men; I will appeal to their intereſts. I will prove to them, that he who marries an Old Maid, has a much greater chance of being invariably beloved by his wife, or, in other words, of being happy in wedlock, than he has, who raſhly throws himſelf into the open arms of a Widow. [180] —Sir, I flatter myſelf, it will require no long chain of arguments to eſtabliſh and fortify, on the moſt ſolid ground, this momentous poſition. I truſt, that I ſhall be able to accompliſh it, merely by reminding this audience of a propenſity in the human mind, which cannot be called in queſtion; I mean the propenſity to exalt in our eſtimation thoſe poſſeſſions of which we are deprived, and to ſink the value of what is actually in our hands.—Sir, the firſt part of this propenſity is ſo general, and it operates with ſuch amazing force on the character to whom I wiſh to apply it, that I remember the admirable Fielding, with a moſt happy coincidence of humour and of truth, calls the death of an huſband 'an infallible recipe to recover the loſt affections of a wife.'

Let me, Sir, entreat this aſſembly to retain in their thoughts the propenſity I have mentioned, and then to contemplate with me the feelings of the late Widow [181] towards her ſecond or third huſband, and the feelings of the quondam Old Maid, now joyfully united to her firſt and only love.—Sir, the affection of the re-married Widow is a pocket teleſcope; ſhe directs the magnifying end of it towards her good man in the grave, and it enlarges to a marvellous degree all the mental and all the perſonal endowments of the dear departed. She then turns the inverted glaſs to his diminiſhing ſucceſſor, and, whatever his proportion of excellence may be, the poor luckleſs living mortal ſoon dwindles in her ſight to a comparative pigmy. But, Sir, this is not the caſe with our quondam Old Maid. No! Sir—her affection is a portable microſcope, which magnifies in a ſtupendous manner all the attractive merits and powers of pleaſing, however inconſiderable they may be, in the favourite creature upon whom ſhe gazes. Like an inexperienced but a paſſionate naturaliſt, ſhe continues to ſurvey the new and [182] ſole object of her contemplation, not only with unremitted aſſiduity, but with increaſing amazement and delight. He fills her eye; he occupies her mind; he engroſſes her heart.

But it may be ſaid in reply, If the man who marries an Old Maid has this ſuperior chance of being uniformly beloved by his wife, ſince it is certainly the wiſh of every man who marries to be ſo, how happens it that men decide ſo prepoſterouſly againſt themſelves, and perpetually prefer the Widow to the Old Maid? Is not this conſtant preference a very ſtrong argument in favour of the character ſo preferred? Does it not prove, that the Widow has acquired the art, or the power, of conferring more happineſs on her ſecond huſband than the Old Maid is able to beſtow upon her firſt? for can we ſuppoſe that men, inſtructed by the experience of ages, would continue to act in conſtant oppoſition to [183] their own domeſtic happineſs, in the moſt important article of human life?

Alas! Sir, I fear there are more articles than one, in which we inconſiderate mortals may be frequently obſerved to act againſt experience, againſt our reaſon, and againſt our felicity. That the Widow is conſtantly preferred to the Old Maid, I moſt readily admit; nay, I complain of it as an inveterate grievance; but I truſt, Sir, that I can account for this unreaſonable preference, without adding a ſingle grain to the weight, or rather to the empty ſcale, of the Widow.

I believe, Sir, a very ſimple metaphor will illuſtrate the whole affair on both ſides.

The Widow is an experienced and a ſkilful angler, who has acquired patience to wait for the favourable minute, and rapidity to ſtrike in the very inſtant when the fiſh has fairly riſen to the hook. By this double excellence her ſucceſs is enſured. But alas! Sir, the Old Maid [184] is an angler, whom fruitleſs expectation has rendered both impatient and unſkilful; ſhe is thrown into trepidation by the firſt appearance of a nibble, and by making a too haſty movement at that critical juncture, ſhe too often renders her bait, however ſweet it may be, an object of terror, inſtead of allurement, to what ſhe wiſhes to catch. Though my alluſion may ſound a little coarſely, let me entreat you, Sir, not to imagine that I mean to expreſs any degree of diſreſpect to my honeſt and worthy client, the unproſperous Old Maid. Allow me, Sir, to remind you, that ingenuous and unhacknied ſpirits, though actively inclined, are often reduced to do nothing, by their too eager deſire to do well; and this is frequently the caſe of the good and delicate Old Maid, in her laudable project of ſecuring a huſband: ſo that even when ſhe is herſelf the cauſe of her own failure in this worthy purpoſe, ſhe deſerves not our cenſure but our [185] compaſſion. Yes! Sir, the partizans of the Widow may ſmile, if they pleaſe, at my aſſertion; but I ſcruple not to affirm, that the ſolitary, neglected Old Maid is more truly entitled to pity, that ſoft harbinger of love, than the weeping Widow herſelf. Much has been ſaid, and, I confeſs, with great eloquence, on the Widow's attractive ſorrow. It is, indeed, attractive; and ſo attractive, that it has frequently recalled to my imagination the moan of the hyaena, that artful, deſtructive, and inſatiable creature, who is ſaid by the ancient naturaliſts to lure into her den, by a treacherous cry of diſtreſs, the unwary traveller whom ſhe intends to devour. This inſidious behaviour of the hyaena is a queſtionable fact, that no one, perhaps, can fully prove or refute; but all perſons of any experience in the world have ſeen inſtances of men, who have been allured into the ſnare of the Widow, and have lamented, when it was too late to retreat, [186] that they fell the victims of their own generous, but miſplaced compaſſion.

The habit of changing is very apt to produce a paſſion for novelty; and the wife, who has buried one or two huſbands, on a ſlight diſagreement with her ſecond or third, will ſoon wiſh him to ſleep in peace with his departed predeceſſor, from her hope of being more lucky in her next adventure. You may remember, Sir, that our old poet Chaucer, that admirable and exact painter of life and manners! has very happily marked this prevalent diſpoſition of the re-married Widow, in the long prologue which he aſſigns to his Wife of Bath. That good lady glories in having already buried four huſbands, and expreſſes a perfect readineſs, whenever Heaven may give her the opportunity, to engage with a ſixth. Let it not be ſaid, that this character is a mere phantom, created by the lively imagination of a ſatirical and facetious poet! No! Sir, this venerable, [187] though ſportive old bard, copied nature moſt faithfully: and, as a proof that he did ſo in the preſent caſe, I will mention a more marvellous example of this paſſion in the re-marrying Widow for an unlimited ſucceſſion of novelties. Sir, the example I mean, is recorded in an eccleſiaſtical writer of great authority, whoſe name I cannot in this moment recollect; but I remember he mentions it as a fact, which happened at Rome, and to which he was himſelf an eye-witneſs. This fact, Sir, was the marriage of a widow to her twenty-ſecond huſband. The man alſo had buried twenty wives; and all the eyes of Rome were fixed on this ſingular pair, as on a couple of gladiators, anxious to ſee which would conduct the other to the grave. If I remember right, the woman, after all her funeral triumphs, was the victim in this wonderful conflict: but the ſtory, however it might terminate, ſufficiently proves the paſſion for novelty, which I have aſcribed [188] to the Widow. Now, Sir, if the ſecond or third huſband of a Widow may have frequent cauſe to imagine, that his lady's transferrable affections are veering toward his probable ſucceſſor, he cannot ſurely be ſo happy, or ſecure, as the man who has more wiſely united himſelf to a worthy Old Maid. She, good ſoul! remembering how long ſhe waited for her firſt huſband, inſtead of haſtily looking forward to a ſecond, will direct all her attention to cheriſh and preſerve the dear creature, whom ſhe at laſt acquired after tedious expectation. Her good man has no rival to fear, either among the living or the dead, and may ſecurely enjoy the delightful prerogative of believing himſelf the abſolute maſter of his wife's affections. I entreat you, Sir, to obſerve how very different the caſe is with the inconſiderate man, who raſhly married a Widow! He has not only to apprehend, that the changeable tenderneſs of his lady may take a ſudden turn towards his [189] probable ſucceſſor, but, if her thoughts are too faithful, and too virtuous, to wander towards the living, even then, Sir, after all his endeavours to take full poſſeſſion of her heart, though he may delude himſelf with the vain idea of being its ſole proprietor, he will frequently find, that he has only entered into partnerſhip with a ghoſt. Yes! Sir, though my opponents may treat the expreſſion as ludicrous, I will maintain that it is literally juſt. I repeat, he has entered into partnerſhip with a ghoſt, and I will add, Sir, the very probable conſequence of ſuch a partnerſhip; he will ſoon find, that by the ſubtle illuſions of his inviſible partner, he has loſt even his poor moiety in that precarious poſſeſſion, the heart of a remarried Widow! and will find himſelf, at the ſame time, a real bankrupt in happineſs. Since my antagoniſts have been pleaſed to ſmile at my expreſſion, as the language rather of fancy than of truth, ſuffer me, Mr. Preſident, to quote a caſe, [190] in which this dead, this derided partner made his actual appearance, and was bold enough to urge an excluſive claim. Sir, I truſt the caſe I allude to is a caſe directly in point; it is quoted, indeed, on a different occaſion, by the admirable Addiſon, from the ſeventeenth book of the Jewiſh hiſtorian, Joſephus. I mean the caſe of the Widow Glaphyra, who, having been twice a Widow, took for her third huſband Archelaus. You may remember, Sir, that the thoughts of this lady, after her third adventure, ran ſo much on her firſt lord, that ſhe ſaw the good man in a viſion—'Glaphyra,' ſaid the phantom, 'thou haſt made good the old ſaying, that women are not to be truſted. Was not I the huſband of thy virginity? Have I not children by thee? How couldſt thou forget our loves ſo far, as to enter into a ſecond marriage, and after that into a third? — But for our paſſed loves I will free thee from thy preſent reproach, and make thee mine for [191] ever.'—Glaphyra related her dream, and died ſoon after. This, Sir, is a ſerious and tragical proof, how dangerous it is to marry a Widow. Surely no conſiderate man would chuſe to incur the hazard of having his bride thus torn from his embraces by ſo arrogant a phantom.—Allow me, Sir, to relate a ſtory of a comic caſt, which will equally prove the ſecret perils of ſuch a marriage. I received it from a very worthy old gentleman, not unknown to this aſſembly. He was acquainted, in his youth, with a famous mimic of the laſt century, who was the principal actor in this comic or rather farcical ſcene, and related it circumſtantially to my friend. This mimic, Sir, a man of pleaſantry and adventure, courted, in the early part of his life, a very handſome and opulent Widow; ſhe gave him the higheſt encouragement; but, as avarice was her foible, ſhe at laſt jilted him for a wealthy ſuitor, who, though of a very timid conſtitution, was raſh [192] enough to marry this very tempting Widow. The diſcarded mimic was inflamed with a variety of paſſions, and determined to take ſome very ſignal revenge. An opportunity of vengeance occurred to him, which, as he knew the extreme timidity of his fortunate rival, he ſeized without the pauſe of apprehenſion. His valet had intrigued with the favourite abigail of the Widow, and by her aſſiſtance the mimic commanded the nuptial chamber of the bride. He had known the perſon of her firſt huſband, and, having concealed himſelf under a toilet, till the hour of conſummation, he then made his appearance, aſſuming the moſt exact ſimilitude, both in figure and voice, to the dear departed. He had hardly undrawn the curtain, when the affrighted bride fell into a fit. The bridegroom, who had alſo known his deceaſed predeceſſor, was ſeized with a panic ſtill worſe, and his trembling body ſoon diffuſed ſo powerful an effluvia, that although it [193] contributed nothing to his own relief, it recovered the lady from her ſwoon. She revived in perfect poſſeſſion of her ſenſes, and, finding the dead huſband vaniſhed, and the living one unfit for a companion, ſhe haſtily aroſe. As ſhe loved money, ſhe had taken the prudent precaution of ſecuring to herſelf the enjoyment of her own fortune, and, having ſome ſuſpicion of the trick which had been played againſt her, ſhe reſolved to make a wiſe uſe of it, and declared, that ſhe would never proceed to conſummate her marriage with a man, who had not reſolution enough to protect her from a ghoſt. She perſiſted in this conduct, and the luckleſs derided bridegroom remained, through life, a melancholy example to confirm the wiſdom of that adage, which ſays, that he ſhould, indeed, be a bold man, who enters into the ſervice of a Widow.

Sir, I ſhould entreat your pardon for [194] having treſpaſſed on the patience of this aſſembly by the recital of ſo long a ſtory, did I not flatter myſelf that it will have a happy tendency to guard the ſingle gentlemen, who hear me, from the iniquitous temerity of preferring a Widow to an Old Maid.

I might alledge, Sir, many arguments which I have not hitherto touched upon, in favour of my client. I might ſhew of what infinite importance it is to matrimonial felicity, that the huſband ſhould receive into his arms a partner for life, whoſe diſpoſition and habits, inſtead of being fixed already by a former lord, are yet to be moulded according to the will and abilities of her firſt and only director. Sir, in this point, the Widow is a piece of warped wood, which the moſt ſkilful workman may find himſelf unable to ſhape as he wiſhes; but the Old Maid, Sir, is the pliant virgin wax, which follows, with the moſt happy [195] ductility, every ſerious deſign, every ingenious device, every ſportive whim, of the modeller.

But I will relinquiſh the innumerable arguments that I might yet adduce in ſupport of the Old Maid; I will reſt her cauſe on that ſolid rock, which I have endeavoured, Sir, to exhibit in different points of view, I mean the ſuperior ſecurity with which her huſband may depend on the ſtability of her affection. I will conclude by conjuring every gentleman, who may happen to heſitate between a Widow and an Old Maid, to remember, that reaſon and experience, that equity and the general intereſt of mankind, all loudly plead for his preferring the latter: I will conjure him to recollect, that the man who marries a Widow has great cauſe to apprehend unreaſonable expectations, unpleaſant compariſons, and variable affection; while he, who marries an Old Maid, may with confidence prepare to meet unexacting [196] tenderneſs, increaſing gratitude, and perpetual endearments.

I will not preſume to comment on the precéding oration; but merely add, that the eccleſiaſtical author, from whom the ingenious ſpeaker has cited a moſt remarkable anecdote, is St. Jerom. It is contained in one of his epiſtles addreſſed to a Widow, whoſe name was Ageruchia. I ſhall tranſcribe the words of the ſaint at the bottom of the page *, and cloſe this chapter by returning thanks to my eloquent friend, for the permiſſion to print his ſpeech, and by expreſſing a cordial wiſh, that my readers [197] may beſtow on it as much favour and applauſe, as it received from the amicable and polite aſſembly in which it was delivered.

CHAP. III. The concluding Chapter of the Eſſay, containing a Sermon to Old Maids, delivered in a Dream.

[198]

THE moſt ſanguine projector that ever waſted his fortune and his brains in the ſmoke of expectation, never thought on the golden crown of all his labours with more aſſiduity and hope, than I have thought on the amuſement and advantage, which, I truſt, will accrue to the community of Old Maids from this elaborate Eſſay. The good ſpinſters have frequently engroſſed me ſleeping as well as waking. In proof of this affectionate aſſertion, I ſhall cloſe my work with a circumſtantial account of a very ſingular viſion, which my extreme ſolicitude for their intereſt moſt certainly produced.

I had been reading, in a hot ſummer's [199] day, a little too ſoon after dinner, one of the Greek homilies on virginity; when my attention gradually diminiſhed, and ſleep imperceptibly ſtole upon me. I found myſelf tranſported on a ſudden from my own narrow ſtudy, and a little circle of dingy folios, to the middle of a large and magnificent apartment. It appeared to be the refectory of a very populous convent: at the upper end of it were two doors; the one, which ſtood open, diſcovered to me a very elegant and extenſive chapel; the other, as I found in the ſequel, led into a ſet of apartments appropriated to the lady abbeſs of this chaſte but unfettered ſociety. I was ſoon informed, by a group of courteous females, who were walking for the purpoſes of exerciſe and converſation in this ſpacious hall, that the ample and ſumptuous fabric had been raiſed by the contribution of many elderly virgins, all of liberal birth and education, though unequal in their fortunes, who, forming themſelves into a very numerous yet friendly community, [200] dwell together with quiet induſtry and ſocial content.

"We are governed," ſaid a kind and communicative ſiſter of the houſe (who, with a diſpoſition that appeared to me peculiarly angelical in an ancient virgin, expreſſed more eagerneſs to ſatisfy my curioſity than her own) ‘we are governed by a preſident of our own ſex, who is annually elected by a majority of our ſiſterhood; but though we formally exert the privilege of election, we have never had but one and the ſame governeſs; for the lady who firſt planned, and has ſince directed, our ſociety, is conſtantly rechoſen into the delicate and important office, which ſhe diſcharges to the ſatisfaction of all with whom ſhe is connected.’ "How, madam," I exclaimed, ‘how may I obtain the happineſs of beholding a perſonage ſo extraordinary?’ ‘You will probably behold her very ſoon,’ replied my kind informer, ‘returning into this ſaloon from our adjoining chapel. You [201] may diſtinguiſh,’ ſhe continued, ‘thro' that open door, a diſtant party engaged about the altar; among them you may juſt diſcern our preſident Seraphina, with her two favourite aſſiſtants, Meleſinda and Fuſcina. They are employed in a melancholy yet pleaſing office, in decorating the tomb of an amiable old divine, who formed a part of our houſehold, and was, indeed, to have appeared in the character of our paſtor; but as, from motives of maidenly diſcretion, we choſe the good man in a very advanced and infirm period of life, he has never been able to aſcend the pulpit prepared for him. We were afraid of wounding both him and ourſelves, by appointing any ſubſtitute for him, while we could hope for his recovery, and have therefore ſubſiſted hitherto without any acting miniſter, except one ſelected from ourſelves, for the mere purpoſe of reading the chapel ſervice of the day; for we are very punctual in our daily devotions; and, [202] now the good old man is departed, our preſident will probably ſoon chuſe for us a preacher, who may fill more effectually the department of the deceaſed.’ My pulſe quickened as ſhe ſpoke; but the mingled ſentiments of ſurpriſe, joy, and ambition, rendered me unable to frame an immediate reply. Never did the hot pericranium of any dean or provoſt ſo itch and burn for an expected mitre, as mine did at this moment for a certain ſquare cap of white velvet, adorned with a ſilver taſſel, which now glittered in my view. It was ſuſpended to the wall of the ſaloon, at the centre of the dining-table; and my good-natured informer, who obſerved with what an inquiring eye I ſurveyed it, very kindly told me, it was the work of their fair preſident, prepared as a mark of affectionate diſtinction for the paſtor of this maiden flock. While this ſhining object of my chaſte ambition ſtill attracted my eyes, and I was ſtill liſtening to ſeveral intereſting little anecdotes concerning it, the lady abbeſs [203] and her attendants began to move towards me. My heart fluttered as they advanced. Though a conſiderable ſpace was yet between us, I was ſtruck with a trembling and ſpeechleſs awe, by the air of complacent grandeur which appeared in the form and countenance of Seraphina. Never did a young volunteer, preſented for the firſt time to the imperial Catherine of Ruſſia, feel a more ardent, unutterable deſire to ſerve his fair ſovereign in the field or the cabinet, than I felt to recommend myſelf to the very different favours of this dignified lady. But how is it poſſible, thought I to myſelf, as ſhe was approaching, to make her ſuddenly my patroneſs? Her character, and all her features, aſſure me, that ſhe is utterly devoid of ambition and deſire, thoſe quick and powerful ſprings, by the means of which the fraternity of eloquent and able miniſters have ſo often and ſo rapidly been exalted by the queens and abbeſſes of their reſpective countries. But there is a nobler paſſion, [204] my heart inwardly ſaid to itſelf, that, by actuating both of us alike, may facilitate my ſucceſs with Seraphina; and this is our mutual zeal for the felicity of her fellow-maidens. Could this fair preſident of autumnal virgins be made acquainted with all that I have thought, and all that I have written, in behalf of Old Maids—but here's my difficulty and diſtreſs; how can I explain to her, in a few minutes, the long labours of my life?—While theſe ideas were paſſing, with confuſed rapidity, in my mind, Seraphina advanced very near to me. The mild dignity of her aſpect extorted from me a bow of affectionate admiration. I made an imperfect effort to tell her ſo; but, before I could utter a ſingle ſentence to recommend myſelf, as I wiſhed, to her favour, ſhe ſaluted me by my name, to my infinite aſtoniſhment; and proceeded to inform me, with a graceful and engaging familiarity, that the departed miniſter was one of my old friends, who had given her a complete idea both of my perſon and my [205] character, expreſſing a wiſh on his death-bed, in the moſt flattering terms, that I might be choſen to ſucceed him in the paſtoral care of this ſiſterhood. ‘We are no ſtrangers,’ continued the polite Seraphina, ‘to the benevolent caſt of your ſtudies, and we look with peculiar gratitude on a perſon, whoſe pen has been long employed, with a very ſingular humanity, to amuſe, to inſtruct, and, I may ſay, to honour, a certain claſs of females, whom the unthinking world have inceſſantly wounded with deriſion or neglect. It is poſſible, Sir,’ ſhe added, ‘that your book, to which I allude, however enriched and adorned with learning and with fancy, with reaſon and with wit; it is poſſible, I ſay, that this book may not find more kindneſs from the world, than what has hitherto attended the degraded order of beings to whom it is ſo generouſly devoted. But, whatever fate may attend your work, whoſe merits have been fully explained to us, [206] we ſhall at leaſt enjoy the happineſs of ſecuring you from many of thoſe humiliating perſonal evils, to which the greateſt authors have been expoſed, if you will allow us to appoint you the preacher of our chapel.’

Seraphina pauſed for my reply; but my head and heart were too full to allow me the uſe of ſpeech in the firſt moments of my ſurpriſe and exultation. I made her the profoundeſt reverence, that a body not perfectly elaſtic could accompliſh. It was as low as the bow of a new-created biſhop to his earthly maker, yet, I fear, it was not ſo much the genuine movement of humility, as of pride.

Seraphina ſeemed to read all my ſentiments, and, to relieve me from the perplexing difficulty of putting my thanks into proper words, ſhe thus purſued her diſcourſe.

‘It is now the uſual hour of our morning prayers: will you allow me, Sir, the pleaſure of introducing you to your new [207] office? You will find the books of our chapel in order; and I doubt not but, as you have long meditated on the good and evil of our ſingle ſtate, you can oblige us, on the inſtant, with a ſermon adapted to our ſequeſtered condition.’ —Much as I was elated by the flattering appointment, I felt myſelf embarraſſed by this propoſal. In truth, I was utterly unprepared; and wiſhed to excuſe myſelf on the ſcore of my dreſs, thinking it improper to appear as the paſtor of theſe elegant, though ancient maidens, in a ruſty black coat, which time and ſnuff had conſpired to diſfigure; but caſting ſuch a downward glance on my own perſon, as every man does, who means to ground an apology on his habit, I was aſtoniſhed to find myſelf arrayed in a new caſſock. My amazement increaſed, on perceiving that my right hand, which held a clean cambrick handkerchief, was decorated with a magnificent ring, not of diamond indeed, but formed by a ſingle ſapphire of uncommon magnitude and luſtre. Without diſturbing [208] my brain to account for my acquiſition of this ſurpriſing ornament, I bowed again to the fair preſident, and followed her towards the chapel. My ring had acted as a taliſman to diſpel my embarraſſment, and I advanced with ſuch an air of confidence, as I have formerly obſerved in a courtly preacher, apparently inſpired, not indeed by the inward light of the ſoul, but by the radiance beaming from his own little finger.

We now entered the chapel: it was a ſtructure of exquiſite proportions, in which elegance and ſimplicity were moſt happily united. The walls were covered with a ſtucco of very pale dove-colour, enriched with decorations of white marble, conſiſting chiefly of emblematic figures, expreſſive of innocence and peace. The only painting which this edifice contained, was of glaſs; it formed the rich and magnificent window, to which the chapel was indebted for all the light it received. The effect of this window was truly celeſtial; not [209] only from the happy diſpoſition of that ſoft and ſolemn radiance which it diffuſed over the building, but from the tranſcendent beauty of the figures with which it was enriched. Chaſtity was here repreſented in a meek yet firm poſition, ſupported by Temperance and Fortitude, and paying a kind of modeſt homage to Charity and Faith. The two latter were raiſed on a ſlight elevation, and, being united by a poſture of ſiſterly endearment, formed the pyramidical point in this enchanting group. The diſtinct character of every perſonage was ſo exquiſitely conceived, and ſo forcibly expreſſed; the connection of all was rendered ſo happily viſible by their attention to each other, that no ſpectator could behold this little aſſembly of virtues, without feeling a tender reverence for each, and without wiſhing to become the perfect votary of all.

While I gazed on this enchanting picture, the bell began to toll: the numerous ſiſterhod came flocking to their ſeats: I advanced to the reading deſk: I adjuſted the [210] books: I went through the ſervice: and now, with a heart that began to palpitate afreſh, I aſcended the pulpit. A multitude of curious and piercing eyes flaſhed upon me: but my embarraſſment was a little relieved by a hymn of the divineſt melody, moſt admirably ſung by a few ſiſters of the houſe. In the time which this ſoothing ceremony allowed me to collect my hurried ſpirits, it ſtruck me, that the unknown power to whom I was indebted for my caſſock and my ring, might have happily ſupplied me with a ſupernatural ſermon. In this hope I now ſearched my pockets, but, to my utter diſappointment, I could find only a ſmall copy of the Old Teſtament. In confuſion and diſtreſs, I turned haſtily to ſuch paſſages, as I thought might befriend me on the preſent occaſion. My eye ſuddenly faſtened on a text that pleaſed me: I cloſed the volume; fat in profound thought for a few minutes; then roſe, with inward exultation, and delivered the following diſcourſe.

[211]

In the 11th Chapter of Judges, and at the 38th Verſe, it is thus written— ‘She went with her Companions, and bewailed her Virginity.’

ALAS! the tender-hearted might ſay to themſelves, on firſt hearing theſe few and ſimple words, how frequent, how univerſal is ſuch lamentation!—In every age, and in all the civilized nations of the globe, many inconſiderate daughters of Eve have been haſtily led into penitence and ſorrow, by the violence or the artifice of an imperious and a deceitful paſſion: and often have they bewailed the diſhonourable loſs of that maiden purity, regarded as the beſt, and perhaps the only treaſure, which nature and fortune had beſtowed upon them.

But it was not ſo with the fair mourner in my text: ſhe was the chaſte and honoured daughter of Jephtha, the Judge of Iſrael; ſhe bewailed not the [212] loſs of her virginity, but that ſhe was deſtined to carry it to the grave. Being condemned to die, in compliance with the raſh vow of her father, ſhe lamented not the immediate ſtroke of death, but the idea of dying without having fulfilled her fair expectations of nuptial happineſs and maternal delight.

Before I proceed to any remarks on this intereſting ſtory, let me here obſerve to you, my ſiſters, that the learned and pious men, who have endeavoured to elucidate the obſcurer paſſages of the Old Teſtament, are by no means agreed on the real fate of this lovely victim. Some contend that ſhe actually periſhed by a violent death; and others affirm, that ſhe was only condemned to perpetual virginity. I will not enter upon the merits of this queſtion, becauſe, in whatever light the hiſtory of this fair ſufferer may be conſidered, it equally affords me a proper ground-work for the doctrine I wiſh to inculcate. Her ſorrow, whatever [213] its duration might be, naturally leads me to point out to you a great and important truth; a truth, my ſiſters, in which you are principally concerned! and it is this— that to paſs through human life, either by a ſhort or a long journey, and finally to quit it in the character of a virgin, is by no means a juſt cauſe for lamentation.

Do not miſtake me, I mean not to reflect, with a cruel aſperity, on Jephtha's unhappy daughter! I mean not to inſinuate aught againſt the temper or the modeſty of the damſel; that would indeed be barbarous, when her ſtrange miſchance was ſo peculiarly ſevere, as to plead for the tendereſt ſympathy and compaſſion. She came out to meet her victorious father, with timbrels and with dances; and ſhe was his only child: beſide her he had neither ſon nor daughter. How bitter muſt be the condition of this darling child, when ſhe found her triumphant feſtivity turned to anguiſh, by the [214] vow of her precipitate parent! Every humane heart muſt bleed at the idea; and the more, when it remarks with what an affectionate magnanimity ſhe ſubmitted to her fate:—And ſhe ſaid unto him, My father, if thou haſt opened thy mouth unto the Lord, do to me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth, foraſmuch as the Lord hath taken vengeance for thee of thine enemies.—Generous, heroic maiden! ſhe enjoyed the paſt triumph of her father, in her own preſent calamity and deſpair. Her firſt ſentiments were thoſe of the affectionate, diſintereſted daughter: if theſe were followed by a more ſelfiſh idea, it was ſuggeſted by a national cuſtom, and aroſe not from any defects in the ſpirit and character of the devoted victim. But let us hear how ſhe proceeded! And ſhe ſaid unto her father, Let this thing be done for me: let me alone two months, that I may go up and down upon the mountains, and bewail my virginity, I and my fellows!—Strange as her requeſt [215] may ſound in a modern ear, it appeared reaſonable to her father; and he ſaid, Go!—and well might he ſay ſo; for her petition was not the dictate of a wanton and diſſolute ſpirit, preparing to lament the loſs of expected pleaſure, with coarſeneſs of ſentiment and indelicacy of language: no! it proceeded only from her wiſh to obſerve a religious ceremony, which prevailed among the unmarried females of her country, who conſidered the deſtiny of living and of dying in a ſingle ſtate, as the ſevereſt evil that Heaven could inflict. This idea was indeed univerſal among the Jews; but the Jews were a moody and a murmuring people, perpetually diſpoſed to quarrel, not only with the common incidents of life, but with the moſt merciful diſpenſations of their God. It is the perverſity of their general judgment on this head, and not the particular conduct of one moſt amiable and unfortunate maiden, that I mean to cenſure. To guard the whole [216] ſiſterhood againſt the inſidious approaches of diſcontent, I would here demonſtrate, that to bewail virginity, in the Jewiſh ſenſe of bewailing it, is equally irrational and irreligious.

A cuſtom, however reprehenſible, which has prevailed among any civilized people, deſerves to be fairly conſidered, and will generally be found to poſſeſs ſome important advantage to plead in its behalf. This was undoubtedly the caſe in the cuſtom I allude to: it wanted not the plea of political wiſdom: the female ceremony of bewailing virginity had aſſuredly a ſtrong tendency to promote wedlock, and in this point of view it merited the countenance of a wiſe legiſlator: —but obſerve with what cruelty it muſt have operated upon one unprotected claſs of the community! How wretched muſt have been the condition of an elderly maiden among the Jews, if ſuch a character exiſted among them, when ſhe was taught, by the prejudices of the public, [217] to deſpiſe and to deteſt herſelf, as the object of human contempt, and divine diſpleaſure!

It is an image of humiliation and diſtreſs too grievous for a gentle heart to dwell upon. Let us haſten to contemplate the very different condition of the ſame character among the early Chriſtians!—Here, indeed, we behold an exceſs; but of a more chearful and amiable complexion: not an exceſs of abſurd barbarity, but of tender enthuſiaſm. Inſtead of bewailing virginity as an evil, they exalted it into an evidence of ſupernatural merit: they regarded it as a clear title, not only to celeſtial bliſs, but to the higheſt degree of beatitude that Heaven can beſtow.

I will not baſely attempt to ingratiate myſelf with this audience, by adopting, from the fathers of the Catholic church, a flattering, illuſive doctrine, to which the purity of our reformed religion can afford no countenance, for it [218] was not countenanced by that meek and righteous Maſter, whoſe life and language are the great, unerring lights that we profeſs to follow.

Though an advocate for a ſingle life, St. Paul himſelf acknowledges, 'That concerning virgins, he had no commandment of the Lord:'—and indeed we find nothing in the words or actions of our bleſſed Saviour, that can be fairly conſtrued into a recommendation of their ſingle ſtate. That he was very far from being a moroſe enemy to the joys, and even the feſtivity of marriage, one of his own miracles has ſufficiently evinced: he ſeems not, however, to have ſhewn any prejudice or partiality towards any particular order of human beings, but to have reſpected all the different conditions of that life, which, for the good of all, he condeſcended to aſſume. He reſpected the natural liberties of mankind: he interfered with no civil or ſocial duties: he forbad no innocent pleaſures; and, [219] what is more to our preſent purpoſe, he recommended not an adherence to any preciſe ſtate of life, becauſe his own divine inſtitutions are adapted to every condition into which a human creature can be thrown, by thoſe buſy ſhifters of human ſcenery, time and chance.

But it may be ſaid, 'Although we readily allow the benign influence of Chriſtianity, upon all who ſincerely profeſs it, we are warranted by reaſon and experience in affirming, that certain modes of life have a tendency to throw a gloom over the mind, and to produce ſuch a dejection of ſpirit, as naturally leads to lamentation; and is not the celibacy of an ancient virgin an example of this truth?'

We feel the full force of this queſtion; and imagination ſets before us, what the world exhibits daily to many a ſpectator, a diſconſolate maiden, the daughter of an opulent father, yet accidentally deprived of all her fair proſpects, all her [220] tendereſt connections, and deſtitute of fortune in the decline of life.

Shall we ſay to this ſolitary virgin, 'Bewail not your condition; for, if you are a good Chriſtian, you ſhould be happy?'—No! we will not addreſs her thus; and ſhame on thoſe ill-inſtructed miniſters of Chriſt, who inſult the wretched with ſuch abrupt and unfeeling admonition! It is our duty to penetrate, with inſinuating tenderneſs, into the painful receſſes of a ſuffering ſpirit. Let us gently ſearch into the natural train of thought, which depreſſes the unfortunate virgin, and purſue that line of conſolation, which the preſent turn of her own mind may effectually ſuggeſt!—By what is ſhe depreſſed? By the contraſt, which memory preſents to her, between the gay feſtivity of her early days, and the neglect and ſolitude to which ſhe is now reduced; by the compariſon, which imagination ſuggeſts to her, between her own deſolate condition, and the different [221] deſtiny of thoſe female companions of her youth, who were ſo fortunate as to marry. Let us follow this clue, and it may enable us to lead the dejected ſufferer from the labyrinth of perplexed and gloomy thoughts into light and peace! Let us firſt indulge and humour the melancholy of her ſpirit! let us allow the ſeeming ſeverity of her lot! let us ſay to her, 'You have, indeed, been unjuſtly overlooked by men, who have pitched upon companions leſs attractive, and have ſhared their wealth and ſplendor with partners far leſs deſerving: but, before you eſtimate their ſuppoſed felicity, examine the real ſtate of thoſe aſſociates of your youth, whom marriage has placed in a condition ſo different from your own!—Let us try the firſt.—She is a woman of rank, of opulence, of gaiety; but her innocence was undermined by the ſuppoſed conſtituents of her viſionary happineſs; and your heart is too pure to [222] envy pleaſures debaſed by infamy or loaded with remorſe.

Let us proceed to a ſecond.—Behold a woman, whom nature and education had rendered a lovely compound of vivacity and virtue! She was wedded to the man of her choice, with the ſanction of her delighted parents. The figure, the reputation, and the fortune of her huſband, made her the envy of all her fair ſingle friends: but alas! could they have read her deſtiny, ſhe would have excited only compaſſion; for ſhe ſoon found, that the pleaſing manners, the enchanting talents, and the bright ſemblance of integrity, in the man whom ſhe fondly thought all perfection, covered a mind corrupted by licentious pleaſure, and a heart that could only counterfeit, for a very ſhort period, all the generous characteriſtics of genuine love. His paſſion was extinguiſhed by a few weeks poſſeſſion; and ſhe then experienced, in [223] return for real and anxious affection, mortifying neglect, contemptuous ſarcaſm, and perpetual infidelity. His vices ſoon produced their natural effect, the ruin of his fortune, his temper, and his health. Haunted by every painful recollection, he now vainly tries to drown, in deeper intemperance, all ideas of his miſery; while the innocent and ſtill lovely victim of his various crimes, ſurrounded by indigent and deſerted children, looks up to thoſe, her former companions, who have remained unmarried, as the moſt enviable of human beings.

But let us paſs on to a third, and a much happier example of married life.— Here, indeed, as you truly obſerve, here we find every circumſtance of character and condition, that is juſtly entitled to the name of fortunate. In this perſon we may behold the beloved wife of an affectionate and a ſenſible huſband; the healthy and opulent mother of a numerous and lovely offspring. She has a [224] heart and ſpirit to reliſh happineſs, and ſhe is ſurrounded by every thing that is likely to give and to encreaſe it. Her condition is, in truth, oppoſite to that of the elderly, indigent, and ſolitary maiden.—But let us take a nearer view of this fortunate perſonage! let us viſit the manſion of felicity!—Where is the gaiety that ſhould ſurround it?—Good Heavens! what evil has befallen it?—All is diſorder and diſtreſs. — Miſchance has happened to one of the young and favourite branches of this flouriſhing houſe.—It is the cry of the diſtracted mother over her darling, torn from her by a calamitous death.—Let us retire! for her we cannot comfort!—Her grief can be alleviated only by that Almighty Power, who has permitted it to be inflicted. But we have received our leſſon in the piercing ſound of her diſtreſs. A ſingle ſhriek of the mother, on the expiration of her child, ought to drown for ever all the petty murmuring of maidenly diſcontent.

[225]Let it not be ſaid, that ſuch calamities are rare! Who has ever known a numerous family unviſited by ſickneſs and ſorrow? O! ye conſiderate virgins! let me lead you to form a true eſtimate of all the good and evil in female life! Place, if you pleaſe, to the account of the wife and mother, all the more intenſe and more lively pleaſures! but enter fairly, at the ſame time, her anxieties, her terrors, her agonies, both of body and of mind! enter alſo, on your own ſide of the account, your exemption from all theſe! forget not the more certain and quiet enjoyments, which particularly belong to your own condition! Examine the two accounts with ſtrict impartiality, and perhaps you will find, that, in a courſe of years, the balance has run conſiderably in your favour.

But it ſhould not be the ſole buſineſs of a mortal to regard the enjoyments of human life; a concern more important demands the attention of us all; I mean, [226] the preparation for death. It is hardly poſſible, that the virgin can be properly prepared for this inevitable hour, who has reached the latter end of a long life in the habit of murmuring at her own lot, and thereby condemning the diſpenſations of that God, in whoſe preſence ſhe is ſo ſoon to appear. But, on the other hand, the ancient maiden, who has ſupported the neglect and injuſtice of mankind with pious reſignation and content, has ſuch advantages over the married woman, in the aweful and important cloſe of human exiſtence, as more than repays her for any ſuppoſed or real inferiority in the point of worldly enjoyments. Let us purſue this idea! it leads us to intereſting contemplation. Circumſtances that attend the dying, of every ſtation, are particularly deſerving of our notice; becauſe, however different the degrees and faſhions of our lives, in the act of death we muſt all reſemble each other. It is a trial univerſally endured, though variouſly [227] ſuſtained. Let me then conduct you, my ſiſters, to two ſcenes of this kind, different from each other, yet both affecting and inſtructive!—Let us firſt approach, and conſider the death-bed of the Wife!—Behold a woman of virtue and of piety! behold her, after many bleſſings thankfully received, and many duties faithfully diſcharged, behold her devoutly haſtening to her heavenly reward! —See! though her frame is ſhattered, her mind is ſtill ſedate!—yet ſee with what tender anguiſh ſhe takes leave of an afflicted huſband, who has been her fond and faithful guide in the paths of innocence and religion!—obſerve how her fortitude is ſhaken, by reading in his features a vehemence of diſtreſs burſting through the kind maſk of reſignation, which, in pity to her ſufferings, he vainly labours to wear!

Yet even this is not her ſevereſt trial: as her life is haſtening to its cloſe, ſhe yields to a parental and irreſiſtible deſire; [228] ſhe calls for her children, to fold them for the laſt time to her boſom.— Good Heavens! what a ſcene!—O God! releaſe her, for ſhe has loſt the firmneſs of piety itſelf!—her ſoul, engroſſed by the wants and ſorrows of theſe little innocents, and by a dreadful idea of what they may ſuffer, ſhould their father alſo be taken from them—her diſtracted ſoul pays no longer its juſt obedience to the ſummons of her Maker!—Yet thou art not offended, Almighty Parent! for there are weakneſſes peculiarly entitled to thy mercy; and ſuch are the fond exceſſes of a maternal heart, to which thou haſt allotted the extremes of delight and agony.

Let us turn from this heart-rending ſcene, to one, though equally aweful, yet much leſs afflicting! Let us approach the death-bed of the Ancient Maiden!— Behold a woman, not endued with a more cultivated underſtanding, or with more habitual piety, than the dying mother whom we have juſt beheld! but [229] O! with what a different frame of mind and heart does the preſent expiring mortal ſupport the moſt ſtriking, if not the moſt important, of human trials! Obſerve with what ſerenity ſhe contemplates the viſible approach of that deſtroying power, who has been called the King of Terrors!—She has led a life of innocence and content; but her ſoul is not rivetted to earth by thoſe earthly fetters, which, in the preceding inſtance, the twin ſeraphs, Hope and Faith, were hardly able to unlock. Here religion operates without a check. This elderly, expiring virgin has, indeed, her tender attachments to relinquiſh; but ſhe bids adieu to her friends with the placid air of one who is ſetting forth on a longwiſhed-for journey. She does not hurry from the world with the over-heated enthuſiaſm of Romiſh nuns, who call themſelves, with an unbecoming familiarity and fervour of language, the ſpouſes of their God.—No! ſhe contemplates [230] the gracious promiſes of her Redeemer with the humble confidence of a faithful and affectionate ſervant. She prepares to meet him with the meek obedience of tender humanity and unperverted reaſon, willing to quit a world, where ſhe has been frequently wronged and neglected, to enter thoſe bleſſed regions where neglect or injuſtice can never be admitted.

O! my ſiſters, what is the leſſon that theſe contraſted ſcenes may ſuggeſt to us? Is it not this? that every good and wiſe virgin of advanced life, inſtead of ſinking into the Jewiſh folly of bewailing her virginity, ſhould regard it as a paſſport from Providence, which may have conducted her through a vexatious world, exempt from many of its ſevereſt troubles; and which may at laſt enable her to paſs the gates of death, not with reluctant anguiſh, but with rational compoſure and devout exultation.—To crown all our diſquietudes and conflicts by an [231] end ſo happy, is a deſtiny that the pureſt and happieſt of human characters might eſteem, perhaps, the moſt deſirable of bleſſings; and to this, my beloved ſiſters, may the God of purity conduct us all!— Amen.

In deſcending from the pulpit I obſerved, with an honeſt pride, the effect of my diſcourſe in the features of the ſiſterhood. Several of them preſſed around me to utter their compliments on the occaſion; while others contrived to compliment their preacher in a manner ſtill more engaging, by diſcovering to me, without affectation, the traces of thoſe ſubſiding tears, which I had drawn from my tender audience, not by the real excellence of my ſermon, but by the cordial fervour and apparent ſincerity of my zeal. In truth, I had preached to them from the bottom of a feeling and benevolent heart; and I had raiſed ſo forcibly before my own eyes the ſucceſſive images which I preſented to them, that, in delivering [232] my ſermon, I was myſelf affected even to tears, and obliged to pauſe, more than once, to recover the powers of my ſuſpended voice.—The lady Seraphina, who ſpoke to me, as preſident, in the name of the community, had begun to honour me with a very delicate encomium, but checked herſelf on a ſudden; and, obſerving that I had exhauſted myſelf to ſuch a degree that I was ready to faint, ſhe haſtily diſpatched the good Meleſinda for a glaſs of hartſhorn and water. I was ſtill within the chapel; for, perceiving myſelf in ſome danger of falling, I had ſupported my weak and emaciated body againſt a pillar. The compaſſionate lady abbeſs held one of my hands, which anſwered the honeſt preſſure of her generous anxiety. Her favourite Fuſcina continued, by her direction, to chaſe my temples till the hartſhorn arrived. I drank it with ſome difficulty, and, regaining a little portion of ſtrength, I ſaid to my charitable aſſiſtants, in a feeble and broken voice, ‘Be not alarmed, my good ſiſters! you [233] ſee before you a frail and feveriſh mortal, whoſe trembling nerves have but too often refuſed to ſecond and ſupport the honeſt ardour of his ſoul. Accept, however, my good intention, and allow me to live and die in your ſervice!’ The attentive lady abbeſs endeavoured to raiſe and comfort me with the moſt friendly and endearing expreſſions. She now conducted me, in the tendereſt manner, into her own private apartment. She ſeated me on a moſt comfortable ſopha, that filled a large receſs in an elegant and ſpacious parlour. The room was decorated with many beautiful works, both of the needle and the pencil; but alas! I was unable to contemplate their reſpective beauties, for the ſhades of death appeared now to be gathering very faſt around me. The kind ſolicitude of Seraphina redoubled: ſhe diſcovered the moſt fervent deſire to reſtore my health. ‘Excellent lady!’ I exclaimed, with all the little voice that I could raiſe, ‘diſquiet not thy tender boſom with a vain expectation!—I [234] perceive that my laſt moment is near, and I ought not to regret it, ſince I have obtained and enjoyed the great object of my ambition, the affectionate favour of your ſiſterhood. Yet there is one thing that I have ſtill to wiſh, and you alone can indulge me.’‘O name it! name it!’ ſaid the tender abbeſs, preſſing my cold hand, and wetting it with her tears. "Yes, madam," I replied, ‘I will lay before you all the little weakneſſes of a heart that has much to hope, and little to fear, from a being ſo benevolent and gentle as you are. I am a vain creature; but your tenderneſs will call my vanity a virtue. Indeed I covet not the moſt envied diſtinction; I ſigh not for pre-eminence in learning, genius, or wit: yet, I confeſs to you, I wiſh with great fervour to attract the notice of poſterity; I wiſh, that as long as my name endures, it may be honoured with the affectionate remembrance of my fellow-creatures, and particularly with the tender eſteem [235] of your ſiſterhood.’‘It muſt, it muſt,’ ſaid the good abbeſs, ſobbing. — "O!" replied I, enfolding one of her hands within mine, ‘ſecure to me this delightful diſtinction! you have the power of doing ſo:—give me your promiſe, that I ſhall be buried in your chapel, under a ſimple ſlab of white marble, with this inſcription; ‘Here lies --- ---- The Friend and Paſtor of Old Maids.’ The kind abbeſs aſſented, and I thus continued:— ‘I have yet another requeſt: pray forgive the whimſies of a fond, and, perhaps, fooliſh old man! — I conjure you, let me not be removed from this chamber, till the day of my interment!— place me in my coffin juſt as I am, in this my paſtoral habit! and, as I confeſs [236] I have a ſecret horror of being buried alive, pray let ſome of your good ſiſters be ſo charitable as to watch my body, during nine days at leaſt, after my deceaſe!’

The tender Seraphina continued to ſignify her perfect acquieſcence in all my deſires; not by diſtinct words, indeed, but a ſeries of the moſt expreſſive and endearing geſtures. —"Enough! enough!" I exclaimed, in a ſepulchral tone; and, beſtowing upon her a benediction but half articulated, I with difficulty raiſed her unreſiſting hand to my clammy lips, then gently laid it on my own throbbing heart, and, having ſqueezed it againſt my boſom in a ſtrong convulſive preſſure, expired.

My ſpirit, however, remained fluttering and inviſible in the chamber, and ſeemed to contemplate, with a ſort of ſeraphic pride, the chaſte, weeping abbeſs, and my own lifeleſs body. The excellent Seraphina would not quit the corpſe for a ſingle moment, till ſhe was thoroughly perſuaded [237] that the breath of the lamented paſtor was departed from him for ever. She then gave ſuch orders as were neceſſary for the literal accompliſhment of my requeſt. She permitted ſelect parties of the kind and curious ſiſterhood to enter the apartment by turns, and indulge themſelves in contemplating the countenance of their departed friend. My ſpirit was highly flattered and entertained by their various comments upon it, and by their many quick viciſſitudes of maidenly curioſity and regret. At length a ſimple but elegant coffin was brought to the ſopha on which I died. The body, without any change of dreſs, was depoſited within it; but the coffin remained open. The admirable lady abbeſs herſelf determined to ſet the community an example of tender and generous attachment. She did me the unuſual honour of watching the body the firſt night, attended by her two favourite ſiſters. In the evening of the ſubſequent day, it happened that Meleſinda and Fuſcina were left alone in this office. They [238] endeavoured to amuſe each other by entering into a very curious and diverting debate on my character and conſtitution: but my modeſty will not allow me to repeat the many flattering things which were uttered on this occaſion. At laſt, when they had thoroughly diſcuſſed all my qualities— ‘I ſincerely regret this good man,’ ſaid the friendly Fuſcina, ‘as the world contains but few ſuch advocates for our ſiſterhood: but don't you think, my dear Meleſinda, that we may ground ſome little hope of his revival, on his ſingular requeſt of being attended nine days?—Suppoſe he ſhould be only in a trance! — Good God!’ continued the kind-hearted creature, ‘I would give the world to reſtore him.’

As ſhe uttered theſe words, ſhe caſt a piercing eye on my countenance, and, wetting the tip of her fingers with a little bottle of lavender-water, which ſhe held in her left hand, ſhe began to rub my temples with an eager anxiety, yet with ſome degree of [239] that awe and trepidation which the dead are apt to inſpire.

In a few moments ſhe exclaimed, ‘Look! look! my dear Meleſinda! am I miſtaken? or may we not perceive a little dawn of colour on his cheek?’ — Her benevolent heart beat high with expectation; and, ſeizing my hand, ſhe ſaid aloud, with the commanding, ecſtatic air of a beneficent enchantreſs — ‘O thou gentle paſtor, revive, and live for ever! not only for us, but for every future Old Maid!’ —She ſeemed to ſpeak with a prophetic tranſport; and at the ſame time ſqueezed my hand with ſuch forcible preſſure, that I awaked with mingled ſenſations of pain and exultation.

I looked wiſtfully around, and was ſurpriſed to find, inſtead of a kind and honeſt old maiden on each ſide of me, St. Baſil's Diſcourſe on Virginity at my left hand, and towards the right, an exhauſted bottle of port.

[240]In the firſt moments that I could clearly recollect all the particulars of my viſion, I threw them upon paper, and reſolved to make them ſerve me as the cloſe of my elaborate Eſſay, in the hope, that good Old Maidens, who are ſaid to delight in viſions, may believe, like the honeſt folks in Homer, that they deſcend from heaven.

Whether I am really indebted to my good angel, or not, for this unexpected concluſion of my work, I ſhall now leave the candid critics of either ſex to decide.— Frank and gentle ſpirits, who are willing to be pleaſed! let me requeſt and adviſe you to conſider this chequered production with that uniform good-nature and ſatisfaction, which the author has endeavoured to promote, and ſincerely wiſhes you to preſerve, not only through theſe pages, but in turning over every new leaf of your ſeparate lives, whatever you may chance to find its contents!—Let me caution you againſt one poſſible error in your judgment of this performance! Do not, I entreat you, ſuppoſe [241] that theſe little volumes were written with an idle ambition of trying what ſuppoſed wit and learning could produce on a ſubject not very promiſing!—Do not, I conjure you, rank my Eſſay on Old Maids with the famous Meditation on a Broomſtick!—I flatter myſelf it is far ſuperior to that celebrated production in the merits of the aim propoſed, though not in thoſe of execution. I am willing to hope that my deſign will be thought to poſſeſs the charm of originality; but I cannot preſume to think, that I am entitled to any ſuch commendation for the conduct of my performance, ſince I muſt candidly confeſs, that it bears a very ſtriking reſemblance to many other philoſophical eſſays, by ending in a Dream.

END OF THE ESSAY.

POSTSCRIPT.

[243]

I CANNOT diſpatch this courteous and gallant performance to the preſs, without recommending it, by a Poſtſcript, to the particular patronage of that illuſtrious fraternity, the Knights of the Garter, with the original purpoſe of whoſe inſtitution it will be found to have a very ſingular conformity.

I have heard, that a certain noble lord was free enough to declare, on receiving his blue riband, that he ſhould not be much embarraſſed by the new duties which it impoſed upon him; namely, thoſe of killing dragons and defending virgins: intimating, with a ſarcaſtic levity, hardly becoming a true knight, that a dragon and a virgin were equal rarities in the living world. What ſucceſs this noble perſon [244] may have met with in his knightly purſuits and encounters, I know not; but I flatter myſelf, that I have happily performed the very exploits, for the attempt of which this ancient and noble order of knighthood was originally created; though I fear the whole fraternity of modern knights have, like the facetious lord I have alluded to, rather derided than fulfilled the high duties of their profeſſion. In proof of my own atchievements, I muſt overſtep my natural modeſty to obſerve, that in my chapter on the envy and ill-nature of Old Maids, I have ſubdued, or at leaſt manfully attacked, not only one, but many dragons; for I doubt not but that incomparable naturaliſt, the Count de Buffon, will allow me, that the envious, ill-natured Old Maid is the moſt genuine dragon that nature has produced: that I have defended virgins, envy herſelf cannot deny; and, by chuſing to undertake the defence of Old Maids, I have defended thoſe virgins who are undoubtedly the moſt likely to preſerve [245] their purity, and of courſe are the moſt entitled to protection.—Having thus fairly proved my unexampled pretenſions to their regard, I recommend it as a point of honour, to all the princes and peers who are at preſent inrolled under the banner of our common patron St. George, to make me a little public acknowledgment for the unprecedented ſervices which I have rendered to virginity, in their place. I doubt not but every true Knight will chearfully contribute the annual ſum of twenty guineas, on ſo juſt an occaſion, and think it a very moderate compenſation for his own particular ſhare in theſe more than Herculean labours, which I have happily performed, as a kind of acting lieutenant to the whole brotherhood of Knights. As this moſt noble Order conſiſts of twenty-ſix members, the contribution I have propoſed, allowing for vacancies in the Order, will ſupply me with an annual revenue of four hundred guineas; a decent proviſion for an honeſt veteran, worn out in this glorious warfare! [246] a well-earned ſtipend, to which I have aſſuredly an unrivalled claim; and for which, I ſhall be happy to ſee myſelf regiſtered in the Court-calendar, with the new and truly honourable title of Deputy Dragon-queller, and Deputy Defender of Virgins, to all the Knights of the moſt noble Order of the Garter!

I am the more free to give this hint to the illuſtrious fraternity, becauſe, as my work, I truſt, may be truly called a national ſervice, I certainly ought to receive a public reward; and, to the diſcredit of our country, I cannot diſcover, in all the pages of the red book above-mentioned, any place already exiſting, which may be conſidered as a proper compenſation for my important labours. To the ſhame of a country which prides itſelf on atchievements in literature, there are no poſts of decent profit appropriated to literary heroes. To the diſgrace and ſorrow of the Muſes, our poet laureat himſelf is regiſtered, in the ſaid red book, as receiving a ſtipend inferior to that aſſigned [247] in the ſame volume to his majeſty's barber. I hope this may be an error of the preſs; for I own it appears to me a kind of treaſonable ſarcaſm on all the late monarchs who have filled the Engliſh throne, by intimating, that he who decorates the outſide of our ſovereign's head, is entitled to a higher reward, than he is, whoſe labours are directed to exalt the mind and enliven the fancy of his king. However this may be, as the laureat's office has been recently conferred on a gentleman to whom literature is infinitely indebted, I ſincerely hope his majeſty will graciouſly correct the unprincely ſcantineſs of the ſtipend, which cuſtom has aſſigned to his poet, by adding a mitre to his laurel.

As to myſelf, I ſhould, like other veterans, very humbly lay my long ſervices and hard fortunes before the ſovereign of the knightly order, whoſe duties I have diſcharged, and implore his protection of this performance, were I not reſtrained by a generous [248] regard to the fine feelings of a literary prince.

I am convinced, indeed, that his munificent ſpirit would be moſt willing to patroniſe an author, who has ſo heroically defended the moſt unprotected claſs of his faithful and fair ſubjects; but I recollect with pain, that his Majeſty (God bleſs him!) found himſelf ſo exhauſted by other acts of bounty, that he was unable to increaſe, at the requeſt of his Chancellor, the little and hardly-earned ſtipend of an illuſtrious literary penſioner, who wiſhed to be ſupported in the expence of trying, if a foreign climate would retard or alleviate that ſtroke of death, which was ſoon to releaſe him from all the miſeries of mortal dependance.

When I think what a king, who profeſſes a regard for literature, muſt have ſuffered from ſuch inability to ſupply the tranſient wants of a dying genius, who did honour to his reign, I cannot bear the idea [249] of expoſing a royal patron of letters even to a much ſmaller degree of ſimilar concern, which he muſt certainly feel, if the champion of Old Maids applied to him for a gratuity, that he could not afford to beſtow. Perhaps I am too delicate in this point; perhaps, regarding the glory, as well as the quiet and convenience of my ſovereign, I ought to conjure him to counteract, in the eyes of poſterity, by all poſſible attention to men of letters, his refuſal to increaſe the ſalary of an aged, diſtempered moraliſt; ſuch a refuſal, as, if it were not to be weighed, in the balance of candour, with many oppoſite acts of munificence, would be ſufficient to annihilate all the literary fame of an Auguſtus. But as this, though it is honeſt, loyal, and friendly language, might be miſinterpreted by ſome courtly yet rough critics, I ſhall not attempt to introduce it (where it might appear, perhaps, an amuſing novelty) within the precincts of the court.

When I reflect, indeed, on the refined [250] characters, capacities, and occupations of our peers; when I conſider, that to many of theſe noble perſons, a book is the moſt uſeleſs thing in the world, and that ſome of them, who generouſly condeſcend to read a modern publication, yet prudently avoid the extravagance of buying it; when I recollect, that a certain noble lord, who has affected the character of a Mecaenas, and is enriched by a ſinecure of ſome thouſands per annum, was wiſe enough to declare, in a bookſeller's ſhop, that he could not afford to purchaſe a new performance (which he confeſſed he had heard commended) on being informed that the author had affixed to it the enormous price of ſeven ſhillings and ſix pence; when I reflect, I ſay, on theſe points, I chearfully retract my preceding application for the lucrative patronage of the Great, being convinced, that moſt of them may expend the annual ſum of twenty guineas much more to their own convenience and pleaſure, than by contributing [251] to the ſupport of any author whatever.

In truth, I ſhould deem it, on more mature reflection, a degradation of my own dignity to accept any patronage, except that of the numerous, intelligent, and powerful ſiſterhood, to whom my pen has been aſſiduouſly and affectionately devoted. There is, undoubtedly, ſome propriety in conſidering the order of Old Maids as the genuine patrons of literature, ſince curioſity, the mythological parent of all knowledge, is their eſtabliſhed characteriſtic; and ſuch, indeed, is the proficiency which ſome fair individuals of this order have lately made in polite learning, that, conſidering the little attention paid to this article by our men of buſineſs and our men of pleaſure, there is reaſon to believe, that the ſociety of Old Maids will very ſoon be found the moſt learned body in this enlightened kingdom.

As, I truſt, I am the firſt author who has expreſsly dedicated his life and labours to [250] [...] [251] [...] [252] this worthy ſociety, I flatter myſelf they will be unanimous in the opinion, that ſo voluntary and unprecedented an attachment has entitled me to a ſignal reward: I ſhall therefore ſuggeſt to them an idea that may conduce to our mutual honour; I ſhall modeſtly adviſe them to ennoble and ſupport their profeſſed ſervant, as the good people of our nation formerly ſupported their prince, by a contribution according to their reſpective fortunes, intitled a benevolence.

I recommend it to all the genuine Old Maids, who receive pleaſure from my book (and, I truſt, this deſcription will include the whole ſiſterhood), to form themſelves into little convocations of their order in their reſpective counties; that each convocation may inſtantly appoint a preſident, to prevent confuſion in their debates, and a maiden ſecretary, to collect and veſt in the hands of my bookſeller this honourable little tax, which, I doubt not, they will chearfully levy on themſelves, in proportion [253] to their finances, and to the amuſement afforded them by this performance. As I have a very exalted opinion of the chaſtity and munificence of my fair countrywomen, I am perſuaded that, however ſmall the quota may be which every ancient maiden may contribute, the ſum total of this benevolence will reflect the higheſt glory both on me and my patrons. To ſhew that I have a ſpirit able to keep pace with their liberality, I think it proper to make the following declaration:—Expecting the ſum to be very great, I am determined not to diminiſh the capital, but, veſting it in the bank of England, to content myſelf with the intereſt till my death, which, as I have paſſed my grand climacteric, can hardly be very diſtant; I ſhall then bequeath this noble ſum as a patriotic legacy, in truſt, to our active and patient young miniſter, who will find it, I hope, no trifling aſſiſtance to his arduous and important project of reducing our national debt; and, without [254] doubt, he will prove a very warm friend to this performance, when he ſees me converting my chaſte patroneſſes, the Old Maids, into pillars of our ſtate.

My readers will now perceive, to their great ſurpriſe, that the ſucceſs of my Eſſay on Old Maids is a matter of high moment to the intereſt of our country—a point that my modeſty would not allow me to mention (as authors leſs delicate would undoubtedly have done) in the firſt pages of my firſt volume.

Having thus chalked out a glorious line of conduct for my fair patrons and myſelf, I have only to take my leave, with a reſpectful bow to the ſiſterhood; and this I cannot do better, than by declaring the infinite value that I ſet upon their favour. Princes themſelves are but penſioners of the public, and, as my dignity and revenue will ariſe from the pureſt part of that public, I may certainly, by the moſt philoſophical eſtimate of human honours, rank myſelf [255] as ſuperior to princes, if I acquire and ſupport the hitherto unknown and unſurpaſſable title of Gentleman Penſioner to the immaculate community of Old Maids.

FINIS.
Notes
*
[...]. Sanct. Greg. Nyſſ. de Virginitate. Op. tom. ii. p. 546. edit. Par. 1615.
*
[...]. S. Greg. Nyſſ. p. 568.
*
See Geneſis chap. iv.
*
[...].
*
[...]. Sanct. Greg. Nyſſ. p. 593.
*
‘Quis autem humano eam poſſit ingenio comprehendere, quam nec natura ſuis incluſit legibus? Divi Ambroſii de Virginibus, Lib. 1.
Qui eam ſervavit angelus eſt, qui perdidit, diabolus.
*
‘Certes il y a de quoi congratuler à la pureté de notre théâtre, de voir qu'une hiſtoire qui fait le plus bel ornement du ſecond livre des Vierges de Saint Ambroiſe, ſe trouve trop licentieuſe pour y être ſupportée. Qu'eût-on dit, ſi, comme ce grand docteur de l'egliſe, j'euſſe fait voir Theodore dans le lieu infâme, fi j'euſſe décrit les diverſes agitations de ſon ame durant qu'elle y fut, fi j'euſſe figuré les troubles qu'elle y reſſentit an premier moment qu'elle y vit entrer Didyme? C'eſt là-deſſus que ce grand ſaint fait triompher ſon éloquence, & c'eſt pour ce ſpectacle qu'il invite particuliérement les vierges à ouvrir les yeux. Corneille, edit. de Voltaire, tom. iii. p. 143.
*
Ecce aqua! Quis nos baptizari prohibet? Excipiat nos aqua, quae regenerare conſuevit—excipiat nos aqua, quae virgines facit—excipiat nos aqua, quae coelum aperit, inferos tegit, mortem abſcondit, martyres reddit.
‘Incincto finu quo pudorem tegerent, nec greſſum impedirent, conſertis manibus, tanquam choros ducerent, in medium progrediuntur alveum; ubi unda torrentior, ubi profundum abruptius, illò veſtigia dirigentes. Divi Ambroſii de Virg. lib. iii.
*
Matth. chap. xix.
*
‘Diſcite quantas Alexandrina, totiuſque Orientis, et Africana eccleſia, quotannis ſacrare conſueverint. Pauciores hic homines prodeunt quam illic virgines conſecrantur. Divi Ambroſ. de Virg. lib. iii.
*
‘Et verè graves nubes, quae ſuſtinent ſarcinam matrimonii. Nam etiam gravari alvo feruntur, cum ſemina conceptionis acceperint. Divi Ambroſii ad Virg. Exhortatio, p. 108. edit. Baſil.
*
[...]. Sanct. Chryſ. tom. iv. p. 322. edit. Par.
*
‘Penè certè triennium cum eis vixi; multa me virginum crebrò turba circumdedit. Divinos libros, ut potui, nonnullis ſaepè diſſerui. Lectio aſſiduitatem, aſſiduitas familiaritatem, familiaritas fiduciam fecerat. Dicant quid unquam in me aliter ſenſerint quam Chriſtianum decebat. Pecuniam cujuſquam accepi; munera vel parva vel magna non ſprevi: nihil mihi aliud objicitur niſi ſexus meus; et hoc nunquam objicitur, niſi quum Jeroſolymam Paula proficiſcitur. Antequam domum ſanctae Paulae noſſem, totius in me urbis ſtudia conſonabant; omnium penè judicio dignus ſummo ſacerdotio decernebar. Dicebar ſanctus, dicebar humilis et diſertus. Numquid domum alicujus laſcivioris ingreſſus ſum? numquid me veſtes ſericae, nitentes gemmae, picta facies, auri rapuit ambitio? Nulla fuit alia Romae matronarum quae meam poſſet edomare mentem, niſi lugens atque jejunans, ſqualens ſordibus, fletibus pené caecata; quam continuis noctibus miſericordiam Domini deprecantem ſol ſaepè deprehendit; cujus canticum pſalmi, ſermo evangelium; deliciae continentia, vita jejunium. Nulla me potuit alia delectare, niſi illa quam manducantem nunquam vidi; ſed poſtquam eam pro ſuae merito caſtitatis venerari, colere, ſuſcipere coepi, omnes me illicò deferuere virtutes. Sanct. Hieron. tom. iv. p. 66.
*
‘Onuſta incedis auro, latro tibi vitandus eſt. Epiſt. ad Euſtoch.
‘Audenter loquar: quum omnia poſſit Deus, ſuſcitare virginem non poteſt poſt ruinam. Valet quidem liberare de poena, ſed non vult coronare corruptam. Epiſt. ad Euſtoch.
*
‘Non quod Deus inteſtinorum noſtrorum rugitu delectetur, ſed quod aliter pudicitia tuta eſſe non poſſit. Epiſt. ad Euſtoch.
Pudet dicere quot quotidiè virgines ruant, quantas de ſuo gremio mater perdat eccleſia, ſuper quae ſydera inimicus ſuperbus ponat thronum ſuum; quot petras excavet, et habitet coluber in foraminibus earum.
*
‘Unde in eccleſias Agapetarum peſtis introiit? unde meretrices univirae? Eadem domo, uno cubiculo, ſaepè uno tenentur et lectulo, et ſuſpicioſos nos vocant, ſi aliquid exiſtimamus. Epiſt. ad Euſtoch.
*
Quaſi ex radice foecunda, multae ſimul virgines pullulârunt.
‘Per omnes domos fervebat virginitatis profeſſio. Parum loquor, &c. Sanct. Hieron. Epiſt. ad Demetriadem.
*
‘Ne audias quid vel maritus uxori, vel uxor locuta ſit viro; venenatae ſunt hujuſcemodi confabulationes. Epiſt. ad Demet.
*
Haec videmus et patimur, et ſi aureus nummus affulſerit, inter bona opera deputamus.
*
‘Unde cohibebo curſum, nec indulgebo mucroni jam nunc pro virginitate ferire cupienti? S. Hieron. adverſus Jovinianum, lib. i.
*
‘Si abſtinemus nos a coitu, honorem tribuimus uxoribus; ſi non abſtinemus, perſpicuum eſt honori contrariam eſſe contumeliam. Sanct. Hieron.
*
Phantaſmate Apollinis.
*
‘Apoſtoli vel virgines, vel poſt nuptias continentes. Sanct. Hieron. Epiſt. ad Pammachium, tom. iv. p. 242. edit. Par. 1705.
*
‘Volo omnes, qui propter nocturnos forſitan metus ſoli cubitare non poſſunt, uxores ducere. Sanct. Hieron. Epiſt. ad Domnionem.
*
Scipio quam genuit, Pauli fudere parentes,
Gracchorum ſoboles, Agamemnonis inclyta proles,
Hoc jacet in tumulo; Paulam dixere priores:
Euſtochii genetrix, Romani prima ſenatûs!
Pauperiem Chriſti et Bethleemitica rura ſequuta.

In fronte ſpeluncae.

Aſpicis anguſtum praeciſâ rupe ſepulcrum?
Hoſpitium Paulae eſt, caeleſtia regna tenentis.
Fratrem, cognatos, Romam, patriamque relinquens,
Divitias, ſobolem, Bethlemiti conditur antro.
Hìc praeſepe tuum, Chriſte, atque hìc myſtica Magi
Munera portantes, Hominique Deoque dedere.
Sanct. Hieron. tom. iv. p. 689.
*
‘Je crois bien que c'eſt une fauſſeté (ſays this bold and manly writer, on a paſſage in the life of an obſcure ſaint) mais c'eſt une fauſſeté très-ancienne: le fond de la vie et les menſonges ſe rapportent aux moeurs et aux loix du temps; et ce font ces moeurs et ces loix que l'on cherche ici. L'Eſprit des Loix, lib. xxx. chap. 21.
*
‘Dani infideles.... ipſam ſanctam Oſitham capite obtruncant: at corpus exangue mox ſeſe ſubrigit, et caput humi jacens manibus apprehendit; rectoque gradu et firmis veſtigiis progrediens uſque ad ecclefiam apoſtolorum ſanctorum Petri et Pauli, per tria ferè ſtadia, illud deportat: quod accidit circa annum 870. Du Monſtier, Martyrologium, p. 393.
*
‘Cum virginis martyris corpus auſu temerario inſpicere, et aliquas inde reliquias auferre preſumeret, divino, ut creditur, judicio tantae temeritatis poenam ſolvit. Hiſtoria Rameſienſis, edit. Gale, p. 452.
*

The curious reader may wiſh to ſee the whole account of this ſingular apparition, which I have ſoftened and abridged.—‘Ita crebreſcentibus ad tumbam miraculis, edictum ut efferretur virginis corpus; inventumque totum in cineres ſolutum, praeter digitum et alvum, alvoque ſubjecta; unde ſancto dubitanti virgo ipſa per viſum aſſiſtit: dicens, non mirum eſſe ſi partes illae corporis putruerint, quod uſus habeat exanimata corpora in quoſdam arcanos naturae ſinus defluere, et ipſa utpotè puella membris illis peccaverit; caeterùm ventrem nulla corrumpi juſtè putredine, qui nulla unquam aculeatus ſit libidine: immunem ſe fuiſſe crapulae et carnalis copulae. Will. Malmſ. de Geſtis Pontificum, lib. ii. p. 252.

*
Effracto ergo mauſoleo, defuncta, oppanſo ante faciem velo cingulo tenus, aſſurgere, et in contumacem regem impetum facere, viſa.
*
Gibbon, vol. iii. p. 315. edit. 1781.
*

See a curious book, intitled, L'hoggidi overo gl' ingegni non inferiori a' paſſati. Venetia, 1658, parte ſeconda, p. 437.

*
‘Cujus conſortio cum duodecim annis uteretur, perpetua tamen manſit virginitatis integritate glorioſa; ſicut mihimet ſciſcitanti, cum hoc an ita eſſet quibuſdam veniſſet in dubium, beatae memoriae Vilfrid epiſcopus referebat, dicens ſe teſtem integritatis ejus eſſe certiſſimum: adeo ut Ecgfridus promiſerit ſe ei terras ac pecunias multas eſſe donaturum, ſi reginae poſſet perſuadere ejus uti connubio; quia ſciebat illam nullum virorum plus illo diligere. Nec diffidendum eſt noſtra etiam aetate fieri potuiſſe, quod aevo praecedente aliquoties factum fideles hiſtoriae narrant. Hiſt. Eccleſ. p. 162. edit. Cantab. 1722.
*
‘Ex uxore ſua liberos procreans, cum conjuge ſua octodecim annis, uſque ad provectam aetatem, coelibem vitam duxit. Angelus autem Domini trina viſione utrumque hortatus eſt ut convenirent, quia ſponſam Chriſti generarent; et de caetero propoſitum ſervarent. Monaſticon Anglicanum, tom. i. p. 256.
*
‘Ideoque vacantes, ac ſine conjugio, exacto tempore pubertatis, nullo continentiae propoſito perdurent, atque hanc ob rem vel patriam ſuam, pro qua militare debuerant, trans mare abeuntes relinquant, vel majore ſcelere atque impudentiâ, qui propoſitum caſtitatis non habent, luxuriae ac fornicationi deſerviant, neque ab ipſis ſacratis Deo virginibus abſtineant. Epiſtola Venerabilis Bedae ad Ecgbertum Antiſtitem.
Monaſticon, vol. i. p. 191.
*
I quote the words of the Biſhop. See his Hiſtory of the Reformation, vol. i. p. 190.
*
Hiſtory of the Reformation, vol. i. p. 238.
*

See a judicious account of ſuch regulations in the Grand Duchy of Tuſcany, in the Annual Regiſter of 1775. Hiſtory of Europe, p. 148.

*
The ſubjects of her ſix dramas are mentioned by Fabricius, Bib. Med. et infimae Latinitatis. The moſt ſtriking is the fifth Paphnutius on the converſion of Thais, a courtezan.
*
Saint Tereſa wrote her own pious memoirs, containing a full account of her various interviews with angels and the devil. The beſt edition of her works is in two quarto volumes, Madrid, 1752. She died 1582, and was canoniſed by Gregory XV. 1621.
Anna Maria Schurman, eminent for her ſkill in languages, was a native of Cologne. She reſided at Utrecht, and declined an offer of marriage from the famous Dutch poet, penſionary Cats. She died in Frieſland, 1678. The moſt remarkable of her productions is a logical treatiſe, in Latin, to prove that the female mind is fit for learning and ſcience.
Magdeleine de Scudery, perhaps the plaineſt and moſt ingenious of Old Maids. Her romances, &c. amounted to forty-ſix volumes. She died in 1701, at the age of ninety-four. Her poetical compliment to the artiſt who drew her picture, ſhews us, in a lively point of view, both the homelineſs of her features, and the ſweetneſs of her character. The compliment may loſe ſome of its elegance, but, I think, none of its good-nature, in the following tranſlation:
Nanteuil! what wondrous magic grace
Muſt in your pencil lurk!
For in my glaſs I hate my face,
Yet love it in your work.
*
Antoinette Bourignon, born at Liſle 1616, was a viſionary Old Maid. Though deformed from her birth, ſhe ſurmounted many difficulties and hardſhips to preſerve her chaſtity, and ſuſtained an equal portion of literary labour, in the hope of illuminating the world by the publication of her pious reveries. They were printed in twenty-one volumes, octavo, with a life of the chaſte author, written by one of her diſciples. Bayle has given a very lively account, both of the adventures and opinions of this wonderful lady; who ſeems to have entertained an idea as whimſical as that which Bayle has quoted on the occaſion from the Count de Gabalis, ‘that a demon can, by a deteſtable artifice, make a virgin with child in her ſleep, without prejudice to her virginity.’ The Flemiſh Old Maid does not appear to have met with any miſchance that could tempt her to adopt this idea, from a vain hope of repairing a ruined reputation. She was not only endued with the moſt perfect chaſtity herſelf, ſays her biographer, but had the faculty of communicating that virtue to others, a faculty which the philoſophical Bayle has taken the liberty of treating with much ſpritely ridicule. This ſingular virgin died in Frieſland, at the age of ſixty-four.
*
Une petite vieille femmelette, de l'âge de cinquante ans.
*
Hombres necios, que acuſais
A la muger ſin razon;
Sin ver, que ſois la ocaſion
De lo miſmo, que culpais, &c.
*
Como Gato por braſas.
*
Dodſley's Poems, vol. iv. p. 206.
*
‘In ejus (Freiae) aulam etiam veniebant e ſequiore ſexu, quae virgines obiiſſent. Keyſler, Antiq. Septent. pag. 180.
‘Mahomed enim nihil novi hac parte eſſinxit et pollicitus eſt aſſeclis; ſed quod in vicinis gentibus, Scytharum progenie, et Turcis imprimis fortè videbat ſuis arridere, id in novam, quam adornabat, religionem tranſtulit. Ibid. pag. 152.
*
Bartholin, Antiq. Dan. p. 658.
*
‘Ita ut non virginis, non matrisfamilias, non viduae ullius corpori illuſum ſit: unde magna illi modeſtiae fama.—Procopii, lib. iii.—Grotii Hiſt. Goth. p. 356.
*
‘Perſuaſi dictis Gothi pro ſatellite haud ultra deprecabantur; ſed regem ſinebant de eo quod vellet agere. Is haud multò poſt homini vitam ademit. Pecunias, quaecunque ejus fuerant, ſtuprum paſſae dedit. Grotii Hiſt. Goth. p. 324.
*
‘Sed coram adire, alloquique Veledam, negatum. Arcebantur aſpectu, quo venerationis plus ineſſet. Tacitus, Hiſt. lib. iv.
*
Hiſtoire des Celtes, livre iv. chap. 18.
*
Hurd's Letters on Chivalry, Letter iv.
*
Nonni Dionyſ. lib. xlviii.
Herodot. lib. iv.
*
Letters on Chivalry.
*
Memoires ſur l'Ancienne Chevalerie, tom. i. p. 86.
*
Vol. i. page 259.
*
Hiſtoire des Troubadours, tom. i. p. 89.
Hiſtory of Greece, p. 122.
*
[...]. Anthologia Lubini, 4to. page 43.
*
All's Well that Ends Well, Act I. Scene 1.
*
Rowland Whyte's Letter to Sir Robert Sidney.
*
See Midſummer-Night's Dream.
See the third Book of the Faerie Queene.
*
Faerie Queen, book iii. canto v.
Chaſtitie in the Single.
*
The Purple Iſland, Canto x. edit, 1633, p. 141.
*
Comus, ver. 415.
*
The Faithful Shepherdeſs, act i. ſc. 1.
Ibid.
*
Warton's Eſſay on Spenſer, page 50. vol. i.
*
De Miner. lib. ii. De Gagate—aiunt autem de expertis eſſe, quod ſi colatura, et ejus lotura cum raſura detur virgini, bibita retinebit eam, quod non minget; ſi autem non eſt virgo, ſtatim minget: et ſic debet probari an aliqua ſit virgo.
Ver. 319, p. 44, edit. Tyrwhitt.
Athenaeus, lib. ix.—Aelian, lib. iii. cap. 42.
*
Talia demiſſae pallent ad ſacra puellae,
Cum temerè anguineo creditur ore manus:
Ille ſibi admotas a virgine corripit eſcas;
Virginis in palmis ipſa caniſtra tremunt.
Propertius, lib. iv. eleg. 8.
*
Heliodori Aethiop. lib. x.
*
Achilles Tatius, lib. viii.
*
Euſtathius de Iſmeniae et Iſmenes Amoribus, lib. viii.
*
Euſtathius Gaulmini, Notarum, p. 37.
Paſquier, Recherches, lib. viii. chap. 22.
*
Triſmegiſti lib. ix.
‘Venerem precaris, comprecare et ſimiam. Prudentius.
*
Hayley's Triumphs of Temper, canto v. ver. 563.
*
‘Rem dicturus ſum incredibilem, ſed multorum teſtimoniis approbatam. Ante annos plurimos, quum in chartis eccleſiaſticis juvarem Damaſum, Romanae urbis epiſcopum, et Orientis atque Occidentis ſynodicis conſultationibus reſponderem, vidi duo inter ſe paria, viliſſimorum e plebe hominum comparata, unum qui viginti ſepeliſſet uxores, alteram quae viceſimum ſecundum habuiſſet maritum, extremo ſibi, ut ipſi putabant, matrimonio copulatos. Summa omnium expectatio, virorum pariter ac feminarum, poſt tantas rudes, quis quem prius efferret: vicit maritus, et totius urbis populo confluente, coronatus, et palmam tenens, adoreamque per ſingulos ſibi acclamantes, uxoris multinubae feretrum praecedebat. Epiſt. Sancti Hieron. ad Ageruchiam, de Monogamia.
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TextGrid Repository (2020). TEI. 4728 A philosophical historical and moral essay on old maids By a friend to the sisterhood In three volumes pt 3. University of Oxford Text Archive. . https://hdl.handle.net/21.T11991/0000-001A-5887-9