THE HISTORY, &c.

YOU deſire me to give you ſome Account of the Death of the Widow at the CROWN-INN in the Metropolis of this Country; and how Affairs have gone ſince you left the Place.

The Widow, you know, was a good ſort of a Woman; ſhe was Pious and Charitable, and did a great deal of Good among her poor Neighbours: Went conſtantly to the Pariſh-Church on Sundays, and in general had the Character of a conſcientious motherly Wo⯑man.

Her Husband, whilſt he lived, was one of the honeſteſt Men breathing: 'Tis true he would take his Glaſs in Company, as all his Countrymen will do: But he was a downright honeſt Fellow, and lov'd the Town; and we ſhall never forget how tightly he ſtood by [...] when Sir Jacob, our High Sheriff, would have infring'd on our Right of Commoning. Poor Man! he kept her from ill Advice whilſt [4] he lived, and the whole Country was heartily ſorry for his Death, having not left an ho⯑neſter Man behind him in the Pariſh.

But what need I tell you things which you are as well acquainted with as my ſelf, only to refreſh your Memory in ſome Paſſages previous to your Requeſt? You deſire to know the Diſpoſition of the Eſtate, and how the Three Farms ſtand affected at this Day.

You remember at her firſt coming to the Houſe, ſhe found the Debts of an old Law-Suit to be paid, which had laſted long, and a new one juſt ready to begin, which no body could gueſs the Event of. Money there was little or none in the Houſe; and only a few Exchequer Notes, which no body but the Ex⯑ciſeman would take for Ready Money.

Her Tenants and Cuſtomers were very un⯑willing to ſee her ruined; and as ſhe had treated them very handſomly at her Houſe⯑warming, they ſwore they would ſtand by her againſt all Oppoſers. By Oppoſers you know who they meant: For it was by this time certainly known, that old Savage, the Ex⯑tortioner, had ſet up a Competitor againſt her, Pretending he was a real Branch of the anti⯑ent Family of the Shute's, formerly Lords of the MANOR, and brought a Writ of E⯑jectment in his Name, and fee'd Council a⯑gainſt the Widow. This Savage is one who has always made it his buſineſs to entertain Renegadoes and Impoſtors; and by forged Deeds and Wills to take Poſſeſſion of Eſtates, [5] and then maintain them by trouble ſome Law Suits; till at laſt he has ſhared a handſome Compoſition for himſelf. You cannot chuſe too but know, that both by Will and Deed of Gift, the Houſe it ſelf as well as the Three Farms had been ſettled on her near Kinſman Mr. WRIGHT, (a Man whom all the honeſt Tenants wiſhed to ſucceed her) as well in her Life, as in the time of her Predeceſſor.

To be ſhort (as you muſt needs know) a hazardous Suit commenced; and becauſe it ſhould not lye too hard upon the Widow, ma⯑ny of her Friends became Parties to it. Ho⯑neſt John Truſty, by general Conſent was made chief Agent in the Cauſe, who the firſt Term put the Widow's Affairs in a good Po⯑ſture; and for ſeveral Terms following was continually gaining one Advantage or other over her Adverſaries; ſo that they began now to ſue for Compoſition, and a Meeting was appointed on both ſides, but refuſing to allow ſufficient Coſts and Damages, the Law went on.

In this promiſing State ſtood Affairs, when that furious Pulpiteer, the Curate of High-Ham, came to preach at Hockley, where ha⯑ving pack'd up a Sermon for the purpoſe, he infus'd Sedition among the Widow's Tenants and Cuſtomers, inſinuating that ſhe began to ſell in ſhort Meaſure, Brew'd with Home-made Malt, and let her Lawyers, Book-keepers, Oſt⯑lers, Chamberlain, Tapſter, &c. run away with what ſhould pay the Exciſe. He in⯑veighed [6] vehemently againſt the Parſon of the Pariſh, and other Heads of tke Town, for not repairing the CHURCH, one part of which he ſaid was damaged and ready to fall; whilſt the Conventicle was upheld by ſome about her, and a Parcel of GYPSIES kept privately in the Barn to eat her out of Houſe and Home.

The Fellow had a good Talent at Railing, and could run on with as much Impudence as a Mountebank exhibits his Pacquet: In ſhort the Poiſon worked ſo ſubtly, that the whole Country was put in a Ferment. The Curate was taken up, and brought before the Bench of Juſtices; where tho' he was repri⯑manded, and ordered to find Sureties for his Good Behaviour for 3 Years, yet it did not quiet the People, who cry'd out, The Church, the Church! and ran up and down in Tu⯑mults, as tho' it had been falling on their Heads; whilſt to ſtrengthen the matter, the Curate took a Journey round the Country, poſſeſſing the People that the Houſe was haunted, and bid them take care how they came near it any more, directing them to the Pope's Head and Dagger, near the Croſs.

At this time one Robin Sly-boots, a Welch Button-maker, a notorious cunning Fellow, and fam'd for a Conjurer, who had formerly belonged to the Family, but was turned out, for making too bold with the Widow's Secrets. This Fellow took his Opportunity to cor⯑rupt one of the Widow's Maids, by pretending [7] to tell her her Fortune, which ſuch gigling Wenches are generally fond of; ſo that taking her one Day, as ſhe was ſweeping the Rooms, and making the Beds, he began in this manner.

‘"Nab, ſays he, I have often taken notice that thou art a Pains-taking, induſtrious Girl, and haſt lived a great while in thy Service without coming to any Advance⯑ment. 'Tis true, you ſweep the Rooms, make the Beds, and get a little ſorry Vails of the Gueſts, but 'tis Mrs. Sarah runs away with all the Profit, and keeps her whole Family at your Miſtreſſes charge. But tho' ſhe now flouts the Widow, and flies and bounces like bottled Ale, thou ſhalt one day, if thou tak'ſt my Advice, come to be as high as ſhe: Remember it, Nab, I ſay, thou ſhalt come to be a Lady."’

‘"Bleſs me, ſays Nab, (with a ſimpering Countenance, knowing he had long had the Reputation of a Conjurer) is it poſſible that I ſhould come to ſuch Preferment as you ſay? That you may believe me, ſays Robin, go preſently, and look on the Bed in the Green Room, there lies a Calicoe Gown and Peticoat, lin'd thro' with the ſame; ask your Miſtreſs for it, and ſhe will give it you. As you find this true, believe me in the reſt."’

Nab, no longer able to contain her ſelf flung down her Beſom, and ran to the place, where finding it as he had ſaid, ſhe returned overjoyed.

[8] ‘"But, Mr: Slyboots, ſays Nab, how is this thing to be effected? I'll tell you, ſays Robin,—At Midnight, when all things are quiet, you ſhall plant me in ſome Cor⯑ner; and for the greater Solemnity I will have my Conjurers Gown on. You muſt on your part infuſe ſtrange things into her Head, and tell her as many Tales as you can of the Servants. Then bring in ſome talk of the Curate; tell her what a good Man he is, and that he had always a great Reſpect for her; inſinuate that the Deſign of bring⯑ing him before the Bench of Juſtices was to diſgrace the Church; and that thoſe who were his Friends, ſhe may aſſure her ſelf are hers; and whilſt ſhe is muſing on theſe things, for I know it will work on her Re⯑ligious Spirit, I will appear, and then leave the reſt to me."’

Nab, in the mean time, had got the Gown and Peticoat which Robin ſpoke of, and was pretty ſure the reſt of his Predictions would follow. In fine, the Widow was ſo poſſeſſed and deluded by Nab's whining, and this Con⯑juring Raſcal's Cant, that, tho' otherwiſe a Woman of Senſe, ſhe grew perfectly en⯑flam'd, ſo that without examining farther in⯑to the matter, giving Ear to Nab's Tales, ſhe preſently began to Reform her Family; and a great many of the honeſteſt Tenants had warning given them againſt the next Quar⯑ter-day. However the Law-Suit continuing, they did not yet think fit to turn out honeſt [9] John the Agent, becauſe the taking the Papers out of his Hands might be dangerous to the CAUSE.

Among the reſt, to make room for Robin, Ralph the Caſh-keeper was diſmiſſed, a down⯑right honeſt Fellow, and had held his Place long with great Integrity, tho' many of her beſt Cuſtomers told her they would leave the Houſe, and ſtand by her no longer, if ſhe took theſe Courſes. But all did not avail; every thing went as Robin adviſed; in fine, ſhe turn'd away all her old honeſt Servants, diſ⯑ſolved the Club that was kept at her Houſe, and none were held in favour, but ſuch as had appeared to be Friends to the Curate, or were Robin's Creatures. Robin was firſt made Book-keeper and Under-Caſh-keeper, and after Head-Caſh-keeper, which was what he all along aim⯑ed at. He grew angry now at being called plain Robin, and nothing would go down but Mr. Slyboots at every word. He changed his Sign, which was before the Three Button-moles, and hung up in the room of it the Star and Garter finely painted, and had Vanity and Im⯑pudence enough to take the two Angels for Supporters to his Sign-Poſt. All that he ſaid or did, if it may bear an old Pun, was Bob as a Robin; he brought in all his Friends, Fel⯑lows as poor as Howlets, to rule the Roaſt, and fill their hungry Bellies at the Widow's Table; ſuch an avaritious Crew as were hard⯑ly worth hanging; a Medley of Welch Crate-Carriers, Pedlars, Retalers of Hob-nails, Brick⯑duſt, [10] &c. and among the reſt advanced Harry Aucumy, the Brazier, an audacious, lewd young Fellow, to be one of the Clerks of the Brew-houſe. This was a docible young Dog for Robin's Purpoſe, and by a pert way of ſpeaking in the Club, dexterouſly advanc'd the Reputation of Robin's Proceedings. In ſhort, all went ſwimmingly in the INN for a Year or two, and the Rogues with thriving Faces, careſſed one another in their Iniquity.

But they found the Law-Suit began to hang heavy on their Hands; they had not the ſame Credit that the former Servants had to borrow Money, and they had none of their own to lend: The Rino was wanted to pay Fees, and the Tenants were very backward to advance more; ſo that finding they were like to bring an old Houſe upon their Heads if they went on, they were reſolved at any rate to come to an Accommodation; and Harry Aucumy was ſent privately to old Sa⯑vage's Houſe to treat about it, tho' they had ſtill told the Tenants it ſhould be puſh'd on vigorouſly next Term, and conſtantly got Money out of them for that purpoſe.

Thinking their Buſineſs was now done, they put honeſt John Truſty out of the Agency, and like a Parcel of ungrateful Curs, ſet their Black Guard to pelt him; but the honeſt Peo⯑ple of the Town could not forbear expreſſing their Love in reſpect to his upright and judici⯑ous Dealing, by welcoming him Home with loud Acclamations, which fretted the Rogues [11] to the Plucks to ſee him ſo careſſed, by whoſe good Management the Cauſe had been brought to that Iſſue, that Judgment was order'd to be enter'd up, and Execution would certain⯑ly have follow'd the very next Term. It will be tedious to relate all the intricate Paſſages of the Law, and how the Widow's Friends reſolv'd to carry the Cauſe on without her, but that Robin had ordered the new Agent Jacob Ruſh to ſtifle many of the chief Wit⯑neſſes, by which the Adverſary's Attorney found means to ſtop Judgment.

To amuſe the Tenants, who they knew would be alarm'd at this Proceeding, it was given out, that the Widow's Friends had not paid their ſhare of the Law-Charges, but that all the Burden had lain upon her, which had run her grievouſly in Debt, and that ſhe was in a manner forc'd to a Compoſition, and had Offers now of a very good one, much to the Advantage of her ſelf and her Friends. This took with the ſilly People, and in ſpight of all the Intreaties of her honeſt Tenants, an Agreement ſoon followed, which however had taken up more Time and Money to effect, than would have decided it at Common-Law.

'Tis true we burnt our Faggot-ſtacks, ſet the Bells a ringing, and illumined our Win⯑dows, but we ſoon experienc'd, that Humilia⯑tion would have become us better. The Houſe loſt its Trade, and no body in Town almoſt had any thing to do. People began to ſee into this, when it was too late, and no Remedy [12] could be found to help them. Our old Friends exclaimed againſt us, as a treacherous and baſe ſort of People, and ſhun'd the Town, and our new ones apparently ſlighted us, tho' we had done them ſuch ſignal Service: Nor could we ſo much as obtain to have the Quarter-Seſſions kept here, tho' our Credit before uſed to draw every Body to us.

They began to cavil now at the Widow's Will in favour of Mr. WRIGHT, and tho' they durſt not openly declare themſelves, yet 'tis known they were endeavouring to invei⯑gle the People into an Opinion of young Shute's Title, and diſpers'd Papers to prove it; nor did they uſe Mr. WRIGHT as tho' they ever expected he would come to the Eſtate. All we could do was to wiſh them hang'd be⯑fore they ſhould bring it to paſs; for you muſt know we hate the young Fellow hear⯑tily: His Father, Sir Jacob (if he was ho⯑neſtly begot) uſed us horribly, quarter'd Soldiers upon us, threaten'd our Charter, and play'd the Devil for God's ſake thro' the whole Country till we were fain to ſend him packing; and 'tis very well known the young Rogue will never forgive us for't.

The Widow being to ſend one to old Sa⯑vage's to adjuſt Accounts on the Accommoda⯑tion, who ſhould theſe Achitophels adviſe her to but Jacob Booty, a notorious Friend to the Fa⯑mily of the Shute's. This put us in ſuch a Fright that we were ready to offer a Leg or Arm, out of every Family for Indemnity: For [13] we ſuppoſed he could have no other Buſineſs but to ſtrike up a Bargain at old Savage's; but as it happened we had the good Fortune to ſee him die in a Ditch before he ſet out, and ſave the H—n a labour, whoſe Occupati⯑on, 'tis ſaid, he had merited a few Years before by endeavouring to give the Young Gentleman Poſſeſſion of the North Farm, with deſign to burn and plunder it, if he could not hold it by Law.

In ſhort, every Day produced freſh Inſtances of our Misfortunes, and of the Villanies of thoſe who had betray'd us: Old Savage, who be⯑fore we had reduced to be as poor as a Church Mouſe, ſo that he lay even at our Mercy, be⯑gan to bully us again, reſerving many of the Conditions of the Agreement unexecuted. He demoliſhed a Turn-pike upon the River, which had been a great Annoyance to our Trade, but fallaciouſly erected another a lit⯑tle nearer home, and eluded the chief Article of the Accommodation; he promiſed to diſmiſs young Shute out of his Family, and with a mental Reſervation only ſent him to board with one of his Tenants at next Door. More⯑over he engaged to uſe his Intereſt with young Savage his Grandſon in behalf of ſome Poor People that lay at his Mercy on account of ſerving the Widow, who appear'd under a great concern for them, inſtead of which like an accompliſh'd Hypocrite, he ſent his Mirmi⯑dons and Bayliffs to haul them to Execution.

[14] Every thing was acted with the ſame Can⯑dour, and ſeem'd to be pulling on our Ruin, whilſt our Agents at home, out of the poor⯑neſs of Spirit, durſt not wag a Tongue, or a Finger againſt him, they lay ſo open and ſo expoſed by the Rogueries he was privy to. Ah poor Country! What could relieve thee but a Miracle? Or what animate thy Hopes, but the Interpoſition of Providence, that dear, that eternal Providence, which had reſcu'd thee in the like Caſes of imminent Danger? Would you believe it, Sir, that theſe Deſpe⯑rados having no other way to ſhelter them⯑ſelves, were juſt entering into a Conſpiracy to undermine Mr. WRIGHT's Intereſt, and carry the Trade to the Pope's-Head.

It could not be expected that Men aſſociated in Miſchief ſhould long agree among them⯑ſelves, which Maxim 'tis very probable pro⯑duced the old Proverb; When R—s and W—s fall out honeſt Men come by their Goods. You may apply it as you pleaſe; the uſe I ſhall make of it is only to tell you that the Houſe began to be divided againſt itſelf, and ſo could not ſtand long; Robin had now brought up a Bird to pick out his Eyes; his Pupil Harry had got the Start of him, and jock⯑eyed him out of the Widow's Favour. Harry took up a Reſolution to ſpur at all, aut Caeſar aut nullus; but Robin, who had always a great Veneration for his Neck, was willing to jog on ſoberly; Harry, out of the Vivacity of his Temper, told him, he was a Fellow of no Spi⯑rit, [15] and that his Cowardice quite baulk'd the Cauſe: Yes, ſays Robin, (very dryly) but it may be a means of ſaving your Neck, if you take Example by it, and act with a little more Deliberation and Gravity. This in the end came to an open Rupture, ſo that one Day a⯑bove the reſt they fell to it Pel mel before the Widow. Robin among other things charged him with Ingratitude, and told him, ‘"He took him up an idle, looſe, young Fellow, ſtragling about the Town, when he had hardly nine Pence in his Pocket to go to a Whore withal; that he brought him ac⯑quainted at the Widow's, and put him into Buſineſs he might live handſomely upon, if he had the Grace to follow it; but that it was plain he was as looſe as ever, and his Management would be the Ruin of his Mi⯑ſtreſs, if he went on as he begun."’ Harry juſtly fired at this Language, call'd him muddy-headed Fellow, and ſaid, ‘"If it had not been for him, his Miſtreſs might have made a more advantageous Compoſition."’ Robin, in return to that, upbraided him with his hair⯑brain'd Negotiations, and that he ſuffer'd him⯑ſelf to be made drunk, and over-reach'd at old Savage's, where, ſays he, unleſs your Inter⯑view with young Shute (for which I hope to ſee you hang'd,) a few fine Congees, and two or three lewd Intrigues, the reſt was owing to your Companion Matt. the Tavern Boy, who was fain to carry Brains for his Maſter. Harry could hardly contain him⯑ſelf, [16] but with a very cloudy Brow told him, he had neither Brains nor any other Merit to raiſe him above the Character of a Trickſter: We know now, ſays he, why none but Cou⯑ſin Tom could be truſted at Mr. WRIGHT's; but thou waſt ever a trimming, equivocal Raſcal, and woo't ſo continue.

Sim the Scrivener put in a word on the ſame ſide, whom Robin took up very ſmartly. As for your part, ſays Robin, did I not raiſe you from a Petifogger to be what you are, took you from writing hackney up and down, lent you Mo⯑ney to pay your Debts, and help'd you to live like a Man, and you to conſpire againſt me too: But by Jove, rapping his Knuckles upon the Ta⯑ble, I'll make you all as poor and beggarly as I found you! Thou wert always a Trickſter, reply'd Sim. I hated you before, but now I de⯑ſpiſe you. Nab. too open'd her Quail pipe at Robin, but what ſhe ſaid is not recorded.

The Widow heard all this with a Mixture of Grief and Surprize; but above all ſhe won⯑dered to hear them talk of a better Compoſiti⯑on, when ſhe had all along been told, it was a very good one; ſhe plainly perceived now ſhe had been trick'd, eſpecially by Robin, who ſhe declar'd, had not told her one word of truth from the beginning; ſo that Harry for the preſent ſeem'd to carry his Point. Robin was order'd to deliver up his Books, which were ſoon after given to the Chamberlain, one of the honeſteſt Servants in the Family, which partly ſhew'd the Widow's good Diſpoſition; [17] for as he was known to be very well affected to Mr. WRIGHT's Title, it ſhewed her own Inclination thereto, by pitching on a Perſon ſo very acceptable. This rejoic'd People ſtrangely, and the more, becauſe there had paſſed a current Rumour for ſome time, that they had been tampering with her to transfer the Eſtate to young Shute, after her Deceaſe, contrary to Law. How true it is, God knows; but it ſeems they were diſappointed. And I can aſſure you ſhe told ſome of her Friends, that ſhe had often repented the diſmiſſing her old Ser⯑vants, who had ſerved her faithfully, and given Content to her Cuſtomers; and if it pleaſed God to grant her Life and Health, ſhe would make a very great Alteration in Affairs.

But in ſhort, what thro' the Grief and Fright ſhe had conceiv'd at their unmannerly Behaviour before her, and the Anguiſh of a former Diſtemper, it threw the Pain into her Head with ſuch Violence, that it ſoon put an end to her Life, for which the whole Town ſhew'd a general Concern, and la⯑mented her as a pious, good, and charitable Woman, whom it may be truly ſaid, they brought with Sorrow to the Grave.

Immediately after ſhe expir'd, the Tru⯑ſtees took Poſſeſſion of the Premiſes in Mr. WRIGHT's Name. I cannot deſcribe the infinite Joy on this Occaſion, and that won⯑derful Satisfaction that appear'd in People's [18] Countenances: All was acted with that Calmneſs and Unanimity, that Cheerful⯑neſs and Alacrity, as ſeemed plainly to prog⯑noſticate our future Good: No one was wanting to do his part; nay, even the Par⯑ſon of the Pariſh, tho' crazy with Age and Infirmities, yet appear'd abroad that Day to countenance Mr. WRIGHT's Title, being one of the Feofees in Truſt for him.

Poor Harry Aucumy, indeed, appear'd un⯑der a very deep Preſſure of Mind; not ſo much for the Loſs of the Widow, as the ſole Power and Grandeur he conceiv'd himſelf fallen from, and the Inconveniences his paſt Conduct might bring him into; for he knew in his Conſcience he ſhould find it a difficult Matter to acquit himſelf honeſtly to Mr. WRIGHT. This occaſion'd a viſible Alte⯑ration in his Countenance, and poor Harry looked as queer and dejected as one of the Vulgar. He put himſelf in cloſe Mourning, and exploded all Lewdneſs for nine Days, which you know is the ultimate Date of all Wonders, eſpecially with Harry. John Squeamiſh, the Head-Tapſter, a queer inſig⯑nificant Fellow of Bob's preferring; Sam. Pe⯑ticoat, the Warehouſe keeper; Will. Wildfire, Harry's Intimate; Dick, the Powder-Mon⯑key, and Nab, his Siſter, with ſome others, ſeem to lament with the ſame Humiliation and Concern the great Viciſſitude of For⯑tune.

[19] We expect our new Landlord with the ut⯑moſt Impatience; and then you ſhall have a farther Account of what happens; aſſuring you, that this leaves us under the moſt pro⯑miſing Aſpect of having our Affairs retriev'd again from the languiſhing Condition the laſt three Years had thrown them into; and perhaps you never ſaw a more viſible Spirit of Joy than appears at preſent.

P.S. As I divined, poor Harry is diſmiſs'd from his Clerkſhip, by order of Mr. WRIGHT, and a Padlock clapp'd on the Counting-houſe: Juſt now I learn from a Friend, that his Ac⯑counts are very confuſed, and occaſion di⯑vers Speculations. We are like to have a great Seſſions on't next time. Bob laughs in his Sleeve.