[]

VORTIGERN AND ROWENA; A COMI-TRAGEDY.

[]

PASSAGES SELECTED BY DISTINGUISHED PERSONAGES, ON THE GREAT LITERARY TRIAL OF VORTIGERN AND ROWENA; A Comi-Tragedy.

"WHETHER IT BE—OR BE NOT FROM THE IMMORTAL PEN OF SHAKSPEARE?"

VOLUME III.

FOURTH EDITION.

—"Open me a huge Wardrobe aboundinge in motlie habittes, and marke howe fantaſticallie poore mortals will arraie themſelves!" VORT. and ROW

LONDON: PRINTED BY H. BROWN, FOR J. RIDGWAY, YORK-STREET, ST. JAMES'S-SQUARE.

IRELAND, verſus SHAKESPEARE!!!

[]

IT having in our ſapiency been diſcovered, through the courſe of the preſent important CAUSE, that more evidence may ſometimes be given, where much has already been received—

It is ordered, for the furtherance of ſtrict poetical juſtice in ſaid Cauſe, that no ſolemn ADJUDICATION be made therein, until final default of teſtimony extractive, be made appear by due proclamation, through our truſty, and well beloved, FILAZER, the EDITOR of thoſe Diurnal Records, ycleped the MORNING HERALD!

(Signed) POLONIUS

CONTENTS.

[]
  • A
    • Ad—ngt—n, Mr. Henry 96
    • And—rſ—n, Lord M-y-r 65
    • Ang—ſh, Miſs 54
    • Anſtr—r, Sir J. 57
    • Aſ—ph, Lady St. 76
  • B
    • B—me, Lady 34
    • B—nb—y, Sir Ch. 63
    • B—d—tt, Sir Francis 87
    • B—kl—y, Counteſs of 88
    • B—rw—l, Mr. 39
    • Bl—gh, Hon. Miſs 52
    • Br—dy—l, Mrs. 58
    • Br—d—d, Mrs. 46
    • B—k—g—m, March. of 60
  • C
    • C—nt—y, Archb—p of 9
    • C—ll, Lady 38
    • C-mpb-l, Mrs. ci-devant Miſs W—ll—s 50
    • C—rp—r, Lady Almeria 74
    • C—wd—r, Lord 77
    • C—rk, Counteſs of 82
    • C—rd—n, Earl of 83
    • C—h—r, Lady 84
    • C—lp—ys, Vice-Adm. 85
    • Con—gh—m, Lady 92
  • D
    • D—rh—ſt, Lady 4
    • D—nt, Mr. 27
    • D—by, Counteſs of 30
    • D—y, Mr. 31
    • D—cre, Lady 40
    • D—l, Sir Lionel 53
    • D—nc—n, Adm. Lord 61
    • D—nc—n, Hon. Miſs 66
    • D—m, Biſhop of 81
  • E
    • Ed—n, Hon. Miſs 12
    • Ed—ds, Mr. Bryan 71
  • F
    • F—n—ni, Mad. 26
    • Fitzg—ld, Lady E. E. 90
    • Fitzg—ld, Lady Edward 95
    • F—ll—t—n, Col. 23
  • G
    • G—nn—g, Miſs 10
    • Gr—nv—le, Lord 41
    • G—, Prince William 45
  • H
    • H—m—lt—n, Duke of 13
    • H—le, Mrs. 22
    • H—l—d, Lady 42
    • H-w-rd de W-ld-n, Lady 44
    • H—ſt—gs, Mr. 47
    • [ii] H—d, Adm. Lord 59
    • H—ght—n, Sir H— 67
    • H—wkeſ—ry, Lord 69
    • H—rtf—d, March. of 72
    • H—ref—d, Lord Viſc. 73
    • H—rc—t, Counteſs of 86
  • J
    • J—rv—s, Adm. Sir John 17
  • K
    • K—n—d, Lord 1
    • K—ng, Hon. Miſs 68
  • L
    • L—ds, Ducheſs of 64
    • L—wr—ce, Dr. 79
    • L—ghb—gh, Lady 94
  • M
    • M—nd—p, Lady 24
    • M—r—ce, Capt. 43
    • M-nsf-d, Cſs. Dow. of 62
    • M—cn—m—a, Mr. [of Streatham] 75
    • M—nto, Lord 91
  • N
    • N—wn—m, Ald—n 7
    • N—res, Lady C. G. 28
    • N—lf—n, Rear-Adm. 49
    • N—th, Lady Ann 70
  • O
    • O—le, Miſs 2
    • Oxf—d, Earl of 29
    • Og—lvie, Miſs 36
  • P
    • P—ck—t, Ald—n 3
    • P—lh—m, Mrs. 6
    • P—g—t, Lady Jane 8
    • P—lw—th, Lady Bell 18
    • P—rr, Rev. Dr. 19
    • P—tt, Rt. Hon. Wm. 21
  • R
    • R—ſe, Mr. Sec. 33
    • R—del—fe, Sir Ch. F. 55
  • S
    • S—ph—a, Princeſs 16
    • S—vb—ge, Miſs 20
    • S—ff—k, Earl of 25
    • Str—f—d, Hon. Mrs. 32
    • Scr—pe, Mrs. 80
    • Sc—t, Rev. Dr. [Anti-Sejanus] 93
    • Sp—r, Earl 37
    • St—t, Mrs. 48
    • Sh—ftſb—y, Counteſs of 56
  • T
    • Th—rl—w, Miſs 14
    • T—t—n, Sir Thomas 35
    • T—yl—r, Lady — 78
  • V
    • V—nc—v—r, Capt. 15
  • W
    • W—ch—r, Biſhop of 89
  • Y
    • Y—k, Duke of 5

PASSAGES. SELECTED AS SUFFRAGES ON THE FIFTIETH DAY's TRIAL.

[]

CCIV.—LORD K—N—D.

—"I telle thee, Urvin, he is a Lorde, and that a keene one!—Why, man, he was once more poore, than nowe he's proude, untill jogging up on foote from t'other ſide the Tweede, he did contrive to repoſe his Scottiſhe crownette on the riche toilette of a Monielender's daughter!—thence tooke his honoures a more ſtatelie polliſhe, being ſette in golde!—Nowe he hathe nightlie divinations of Jeweiſh aggrandizements, and will dreame you of nought but lotteries, and loanes;—nay, and a wiſer man had not prevented it, he would have turned his eldeſt born into a Blew-coate Boy, to have a hand hereditarie in everie wheele of fortune!"
PAGE 6.—GENUINE.

CCV.—MISS O—LE.

[2]

‘—"Heaven befriende us, ſiſter Blanche! and, in its nexte ſhower of ſweete huſbandes, ſend us a comelie couple!—Marry, but we can accommodate our lordlie maſters more ways than one, or elſe be-ſhame our breeding up!—If they allowe us not to combe their conjugal heades, we can, at leaſt, carrie their palfries, and ride them ſaddle-leſs to water; ſo that, when we are found uſeleſs as Groomes o' the chamber, we may be convertible into thoſe of the ſtable!—Nay, and the worſt do befall us, we can lay aſide our tomboye trickes, and comport ourſelves like reaſonable women, ſans further ogle-ing!"’

PAGE 25.—GENUINE.

CCVI.—ALD—N P—CK—T.

[3]

‘—"When they did expunge thoſe emptie heades from off the frontlet of our Citie's gate, mine own was ſette thereon, and did moſt wittinglie deviſe, how to diſmantle our Temple's barre to publique inter-curſion. To builde a goode right civique fame, one muſt be conſtrained to pull you down the ſtouter workes of auntient men!—and the minde, my maſters, muſt be kept in concuſſion alſo, or the braine of an ordinarie citizen would curdle over, like greene ducke's-weede upon a gardenne ponde!"’

PAGE 1.—GENUINE.

CCVII.—LADY D—RH—ST.

[4]
—"When firſt the ſightleſs youthe by me was viewed,
"I ſigh'd, and hoped, in any lowlie ſhape,
"That I might guide his ſlowe be-darken'd way!
"Vain worldlie objects thus ſhut out—ſave one—
"This, on his minde's keene eye did always hang
"Like a night-gendered miſte, which dothe eclipſe
"All Nature's fairer proſpects wide around!
"My harte did proudlie gain its earlie wiſh!—
"With me, the ſolace nowe of all his wrongs,
"Love's cruſe of oyle * ſhall never run to waſte,
"Although it be no longer pitcher'd * up:
"For I will ſhunne the modiſhe ſteppes of thoſe
"Who firſt themſelves doe blinde their giddie Lordes,
"Then leade them darkling to a direr fate!"
PAGE 12.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.

[5]

CCVIII.—H. R. H. the DUKE of Y—K.

—"Yes, that's the Prince,
"Whoſe pulſe of youthe intemperatelie ranne
"In earlier daies!—How goodlie now the change,
"To viewe him claſſed with chieftains of renowne—
"Hear a pure bleſſinge dwell on everie tongue
"Through vet'ran rankes,—and ſee his palace gates,
"With proude delighte, ſpring open to receive
"The milde diſpenſer of domeſtique peace!—
"So peeres the radiance of a ſummer's ſunne,
"When ſpring's lighte cloudes have fleeted far awaie!"
PAGE 100.—GENUINE.

CCIX.—MRS. P—LH—M.

[6]

‘—"Pooh, Nardina!—we women o' the chamber may as ſoone thinke of travelling to heaven on our backes, as into his Highneſs' favour by virtue of ſimple obedience.—Methinks one might enſure it by a proſcription of all within the wane of his ſhort-lived pleaſure!—but then we muſt promulgate freelie, and without reſpect of perſons:—nay, the prouder ſhe be whom his fancie hath diſcarded, the nobler game for us full crie to followe!"’

PAGE 73.—Not GENUINE.

CCX.—ALD—N N—WN—M.

[7]

‘"Sirs! 'tis wond'rous harde, that I, a Citizen and Vintner, ſhould find my popularitie under parre, for diſcompting a princelie reputation at a marvellous ſmall premium, which not a mortal amongſt you would underwrite even at cent. per cent.!—I opened not this accompt current on the ſcore of compound intereſt; for I was flattered that my comelineſſe of perſon would well befitte the purlieus of a Courte;—on this I indiſcreetlie drewe a bill at ſight upon his Highneſs' favour, which being not dulie honoured, came back againe proteſted!"’

PAGE 43.—Not GENUINE.

CCXI.—LADY JANE P—G—T.

[8]
"In features ſhe is faſhioned like her ſexe,
"With luring eye, and roſeate ſmile equipt,
"To catch you ſillie gazers on their way:
"But for the airy magique of a ſhape,
"She dothe as far, in Nature's modelling,
"Her modern ſiſterhoode out-peere,—as did
"The love-formed ſtatue all the antient worlde,
"Which Arte's proude rivalrie could never reach!"
PAGE 66.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.

[9]

CCXII.—ARCHB—P OF C—NT—Y.

"This morn our Lorde's prime Abbotte I behelde,
"In riche pontificalibus arraied!
"If, as in worldlie ſtature he dothe growe
"Erect in grace right ſpiritual—he'll prove
"The ſtouteſt buttraffe of our Mother Church!—
"Let's heede not thoſe who impiouſlie ſaie
"That troopes of holie emptie-ſtomach'd ſeeres
"Now trencherleſſe do leave the Abbie gate,
"For whom, in pious daies, alas, gone by,
"The buttrie-doores did hoſpitablie ope!—
"Nor thoſe, who tell us that celeſtial ſoundes
"Of ſackbutte, pſalmodie, and dulcimer,
"Are drowned now in ſhrill Italia's ſtraines!—
"And yet his Excellence may well aſſume
"To point men out a nearer road to bliſſe,
"By making them newe heavens here on earthe!"
PAGE 100.—Not GENUINE.

CCXIII.—MISS G—NN—G.

[10]

‘—"Marvina, Sir, bleſſe her poore harte, hathe been no better entreated by thoſe from whome ſhe ſprung, than by the villainous worlde ſhe dothe inhabitte!—the former made her a ſillie baite for their own ambition, and the latter derided the abaſement of its miſcarriage:—then became ſhe drie nurſe to a withered Ducheſſe, who, in recompenſe for her fidelitie, left her even without a deathe-bed bleſſinge!—and now is ſhe conſtrained to live by her own wittes, of which, ſhe thanks Heaven, neither fortune, nor friendes can ſo baſelie beguile her!"’

PAGE 46.—GENUINE.

CCXIV.—MR. C—NC—N.

[11]

‘—"Arrah! but this foreign warfare abroad is a poore kind of trade for us Jontlemen at home, who thrive beſt by the ſweete artes of peace and good plentie!—By my own prettie conſcience, and I am deſtined to be ſcratched by a rantipole Ladie of qualitie to boote!—Och! but I had rather meete three flying devils in the bogge of Kilkennie, than one mad daughter of old King Faro upon drie lande!— [...]aithe, and I think it was prettie well, to be bothered out of one's light golde for a ſcrap of waſte paper, without being tongue-tied to one's good behaviour by a piece of qualitie binding into the bargaine!"’

PAGE 14.—Not GENUINE.

CCXV.—HON. MISS ED—N.

[12]
—"In virgin wildneſſe thus each flow'rette bloom'd
"'Mid earthlie paradiſe, ere its faire face
"By ſinne's illicit intercourſe was blurred.
"Keepe then the worlde's inſidious artes aloofe,
"That man, with ſerpent-tongue, may not beguile
"Primaeval innocence like this!"—
PAGE 81.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

[13]

CCXVI.—DUKE OF H—M—LT—N.

‘—"You may marvelle how it came to paſſe, but, certes, Sir, he did once poſſeſs a wife, formed from the pureſt modelle of the antique worlde!—Soon, however, ſhe was conſtrained to divorce herſelfe from bedde and boarde, to ſhunne that multiplying, which her harte did loathe!—Then betooke he to the chuck-ribbe of another man, a ſtage-going rantipole, who, decked in all her Grace's jewelrie, did the counterfeite of a Ducheſſe ſo laſciviouſlie enacte, that this leathernpated Lord tranſportinglie did ſweare ſhe was his onlie Bona-roba!"’

PAGE 33.—Not GENUINE.

CCXVII.—MISS TH—RL—W.

[14]
"You are my Sire, great Lorde! ſo nature ſpeakes,
"Although my humble deſtinie denies
"That in the worlde's faire face, or her's that bore me,
"I ſhould this bleſſinge modeſtlie declare.—
"Some portion of that pride, howe'er, I'll boaſte,
"Which doth right bluntlie appertaine to you;
"So that I ne'er, to gratifie my harte,
"Can ſaie the thing I mean not,—to deceive you."
PAGE 89.—GENUINE.

CCXVIII.—CAPT. V—NC—V—R.

[15]

‘—"Remembereſt thou not, Alberto, that, in the ſouthern latitudes, we did a flatte odde fiſhe deſcrie, with finnes for circumnavigation formed, who toſſed the brinie element around him with the breathe of a fantaſtique noſtrille, as if it were created for his owne ſingle paſtime?—but, caſt on ſhore, he crawled not unlike to other quadrupeddes, who ever and anon muſt licke the duſte!"’

PAGE 4.—GENUINE.

CCXIX.—PRINCESS S—PH—A.

[16]
"Well, ſiſter Gertrude, you, thus elder borne,
"With this worlde's happineſs may trifle on,
"And of your royalle hartes make duckes and drakes,
"As it doth pleaſe ye!—But, for my poore parte,
"When I doe turne a wommane's mind to wedde,
"None ſhall at diſtance trafficke thus with mine.
"They wooe by proxie in ſo falſe a key,
"That when you come to viewe each other's face,
"You ſhrink aghaſt from features thus diſguiſed,
"And falſlie pictured on a courtlie minde!
"In ſoothe, I ne'er will yield this little hande
"But in the joyful preſence of mine eye,
"And then my tongue may gladlie ſay—Amen!"
PAGE 18.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

[17]

CCXX.—ADMIRAL SIR JOHN J—RV—S.

"Upon the fretteful boſom of the deepe
"A courſe of longe inquietude he ſteered,
"Untille that hopeful morne, which peering ſhewed
"Caſtillian ſtreamers hemme the horizon rounde!
"The windes now leagueing on the Britton's ſide,
"Bore his rough barques amid the haughtie foe,
"Then lefte him on their reeking deckes to carve
"His owne, and countrie's glorie! Howe he played
"The gallant ſeaman's parte, thoſe beſt can telle
"Who ſawe the foe's proude banners floute the ſkie,
"Then furled lowlie at the conqueror's feete!"
PAGE 74.—GENUIN [...]

CCXXI.—LADY BELL. P—LW—TH.

[18]

‘"Pſhaw, man! a ſoule with ever ſo plaine a coveringe may grace its benevolencies right noblie. Shew me the face, however coarſlie modelled, that can put you faire deedes out of countenance! So learned is this ſame Oreſterna, that ſhe hathe ſette the wittes o' the whole Vattican to their laſte ſtake to keepe diſcourſe with her alive i' the dead languages! Her religion alſo you do queſtion wrongfullie; for it is purelie Chriſtian, in deſpight of her Mahomedan whiſkers, a due portion of which ſhe dothe licke in with her dailie foode, as dried cattle do oaten ſtrawe in a farmeyarde!"’

PAGE 104.—Not GENUINE.

CCXXII.—REV. DR. P—RR.

[19]

‘—"On my reverence, goode Sirs, I am an Orthographer moſt villainouſlie entreated!—The varlettes tooke me at a non plus, juſt emerging from the ſuddes of our village tonſor, with my temples freſh ſhorne of their natural ſtrengthe! Moreover, I had no pipe to ſmoke their waggeries withal?—I ſhould have tried their poetique fictionne by the genuine rules of ſyntaxe, and then their falſe concords had been moſt apparent! In lack of this, like a dull water fowle have they enſnared me! Nay, 'tis well in Chriſtian charitie I went no further; for the knaves did entreat my affidavit of their deedes, expecting, as a Prieſte, that I ſhould ſweare through a churche-door, to ſave themſelves from d—mn—tion!"’

PAGE 100.—Not GENUINE.

CCXXIII.—MISS S—WB—GE.

[20]
"To publique virtue who ſo little known,
"But beares ſome patriotte impreſſe on his minde
"Of blooming Erva's ſire?—Beholding her,
"Quick we retrace thoſe lineaments of worthe
"Which ſo enwrapp'd mankind, but brighter ſtill
"Diſplaie their radiance now mid virginne charmes!"
PAGE 34.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-FOURTH DAY's TRIAL.

[21]

CCXXIV.—RT. HON. WM. P—TT.

"What illes betide the manne, who ſeekes to reſt
"His hope, upon the fraile, and footleſſe toppe
"Of vaine Ambition's ladder!—His aſcent
"A ray of guileful fortune circleth rounde,
"To lure the ſlaveiſh gaze of baſe idolaters!
"So gapeing crowdes are drawn at firſt to viewe
"The mimique vaulter ſoaring high in aire,
"'Till the ſpent actor can no longer poiſe
"His giddie frame by pride inflated: then
"The ſated ingrates, turning from the ſcene,
"With tauntes, and jeeres, doe loudlie greete his fall!"
PAGE 100.—GENUINE.

CCXXV.—MRS. H—LE.

[22]

‘—"Thankes to my manlie ſtarres, it did belike me better, from my youthe, to tell convivial tales arounde the feſtive board, than go and count o'er girliſh dimples in my glaſſe.—Sirs, I was trained with gallantes of the paſſing age, who could ſaie a choice thing with a goode grace,—marry, and doe one, when occaſion ſerved, right merrilie to boote!—But mark me ſonnes of Jollitie; if I follow not the dinner clothe of diaper ſo ſoone as doe the ſqueamiſh of my ſexe, I tarrie more for the flavour of your witte, than your wine!"’

PAGE 45.—GENUINE.

CCXXVI.—COL. F—LL—T—N.

[23]

‘—"Yclep me what you pleaſe, you ſhall finde me a marvel-monger, but not fabulous!—I belie no man's judgement, unleſſe prompted thereto by the recognition of mine owne ſuperior ſenſes!—By my maiden buckler did I ſweare, and that right trulie, that, as Stateſmen, we are all journieing beſide our faire wittes, and all this, I feare, for foule purpoſes!—Yet, Sirs! is there a doore open to our political ſalvation, turning upon the honourable hinge of one manne's ſingle valour!—of him, who by arte magique, did transforme the penne of a Lay Clerke into the truncheon of a Champagne Marſhalle,—who hath fought with brother-ſtateſmen on all ſides, as well as ſubjects, in the ſenate, and in the fielde!—who heroicallie traverſed all regionnes, both hotte and colde!—who hath denied, in the teeth of Welch philoſophers, that the moone was made of cheeſe that is greene; and was the firſt of mankind to diſcover, that the Dragon of Wantlie had no ſting in his taile!"’

PAGE 14.—Not GENUINE.

CCXXVII.—LADY M—ND—P.

[24]
"A paire of honeſt eyes may fondlie looke
"On this olde frame-worke to a noble minde,
"'Till admiration's ſelfe doth lacke a pauſe!
"She's not the fretted boaſte of high-arched domes,
"But the diſpenſing viſitant of peace,
"Who ſeekes the lowlie roofe in ſearch of woes
"She was ordained luxuriouſlie to ſhare!"
PAGE 54.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-FIFTH DAY's TRIAL.

[25]

CCXXVIII.—EARL OF S—FF—K.

—"By virtue of the ermined crownette on my browe, I did demande an audience of the regalle eare within the privie cloſette. I went not, like a bungling burglarer, to this worke of ſtate, by crooked ſteppes, or darke; marry, I ſought the preſence i' the open fronte of daie!—The tale was rounde, and to the purporte; and my tongue did deſcant on the ſweete ſobrietie of Peace ſo potentlie, that anſwer had his Highneſſe none to give, to what my witte, and wiſdome thus propounded!"
PAGE 18.—GENUINE.

CCXXIX.—MADEMOISELLE F—N—NI.

[26]

‘—"Come, come, my prettie prattlinge Cozz, we'll bicker no more about the virtue of our progenitors, like greene goſslings on an open common!—The worlde is bountiful enough to me to acknowledge my deſcent either from a wiſe Witte, or a weake Lorde, to both of whom has baſelie been imputed the ſinne of my begetting! Thus the oddes are two to one, at leaſt, but I had a father amongſt them! though, like the cuckooe, ſhe that hatched me, made any bird ſhe pleaſed to father,—nay, and feather well her neſtelinge into the bargaine!"’

PAGE 107.—GENUINE.

CCXXX.—MR. D—NT.

[27]

‘—"Becauſe I did accommodate the Kinge's Prime Ruler with the loane of a taxe on quadrupeddes canine, the curres on t'other ſide the Senate, have forced a run of witte upon me, in lack of other currencie, and now barke at me for the deede ſans ceaſing!—Nay, ſome of them hamper me with dailie baſkettes of dead turnſpittes, while others do hang their puppies on the knocker of my banke, denoting thereby, that I am little more than a diſcounter of dogge-ſkins!"’

PAGE 77.—Not GENUINE.

CCXXXI.—LADY C. G. N—RES.

[28]
"Heare, Madame, now, an outcaſt daughter ſpeake!—
"If 'tis the failinge of puiſſante bloode
"To curdle in our veines, and back repelle
"The genial flowings of the human harte,
"Why not an humbler current be inſtilled
"To cheque th' enſanguined maladie of pride?—
"I feare me I'd a mother but per-chaunce,
"And not by any of thoſe tender lawes
"With which ſo cloſelie Nature doth unite
"Her ſmiling progenie!—To me you've talked
"So vainlie of the honours of our houſe,
"That now by modeſtie, each peaſant hutte
"Approves itſelf the ſweeter habitation!—
"Oh, can you wonder, then, if, from falſe pompe,
"Fruitful to me of miſerie alone,
"I ſought life's quietude in ſimpler ſcenes,
"And found it in an humble huſbande's armes?"
PAGE 89.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-SIXTH DAY's TRIAL.

[29]

CCXXXII.—EARL OF OXF—D.

"By this right hande of Mortimer, my Lordes,
"They did this proteſte of mine harte purloine,
"Which the ſublimer judgement of mine head,
"'Mid night's thicke lucubrations had compounded!
"'Tis not but I the feate might reatchieve
"In caballiſtique ſymbolles, fitting well
"My ſtate perturbed: but again to view
"Of Cambrian whiſkers ſuch a prowling paire,
"Scenting it here inſtincktivelie around,
"To filch my treaſure from our upper ſhelfe,
"As 'twere a fragment vile of mouldied cheeſe—
"The lordlie pride, and prudence of my houſe,
"Can never ſtomache to digeſtion!
PAGE 64.—GENUIN [...]

CCXXXIII.—COUNTESS OF D—BY.

[30]

‘"Come! come! ſince you are now my wedded Lorde—you ſhall commande me as you pleaſe—I will refraine from laughter, though my poore ſides do cracke themſelves with the forbearance!—Then ſans merriment, if theſe be their chiefe actreſſes, I marvel not that the ſervice o'the State be managed ſo unprofitablie! The poore ſoules thinke, that if the bloode but riot noblie in their veines, they have no occaſion for more witte, or plaine ſenſe, than falls to the moderate ſhare of a grey wild-gooſe! Howe ſuch creatures played themſelves into the ſtatelie drama of the Courte, who could not earne clean ſtrawe by their atchievings in a boarded barne, is paſt my finding out!—For my own poor parte, my Lorde, I will the Counteſſe ſo enacte, and weare mine ermined crownette with ſuch thrift, that the inſidious worlde ſhall find no ſpotte thereon, nor cauſe of faulte with him who kindlie placed it on a grateful browe!’

PAGE 37.—GENUINE.

CCXXXIV.—MR. D—Y.

[31]

‘—"Enamoured of ſome or other of my rare qualities, his Highneſſe dothe continue to loade me with his prime civilities!—Whether I am debitor for all this to my witte, or that portion of witte's maſter piece my pocket dothe containe, I wotte not!—But yeſter morn he did my countenance reſemble to the Sunne, which had journied roſeilie from the Eaſte to his full at noone day: and the ſelf-ſame eve he bade me ſitte familiarlie by his ſide, to talke of friendlie loanes, and ſuch like courteſies.—Marry, there be thoſe of my acquaintance, who, envious of theſe honours, would blight their future harveſting; but I heede them not, though one ſarcaſticallie ſays, that ‘'everie dogge hath his day!'’—and another, ‘'that I Thomas Day, ſhale ſoone bid my monies a goode night!"’

PAGE 14.—Not GENUINE.

CCXXXV.—Hon. Mrs. STR—F—D.

[32]
"Sad rendings do betide that widowed harte,
"Whoſe girliſh panting after wedded bliſſe,
"Did in its extacie ſo earlie raiſe
"Twinne beauties to diſpute her ſov'rain ſway!
"Now by the ſide of cold neglecte I ſitte,
"And ſee by ſlowe, but torturing degrees
"The luſcious homage of adoring eyes,
"By parricidal artes thus wreſted from me!"
PAGE 100.—Not GENUINE.

FIFTY-EIGHTH DAY's TRIAL.

[33]

CCXXXVI.—Mr. Sec. R—SE.

‘"Upon my honour, Sirs, I am condemned moſt unjuſtlie!—As a ſerving man o'the State, I have drudged too harde for ſcantie pickings, to be thus hardilie entreated.—To no one breathinge owe I aught on the ſcore of friendſhippe, or goode-wille—yet doe they cauſe hue and crie againſt me, as though I were the worlde's defaulter!—Nay, ſince the regalle treaſurie hath ſomewhat runne to waſte, mennes eyes inquiſitivelie do ſearch, as if the loſſe were to be found beneathe my humble goodes, and chatels; when ‘"I can take my God to witneſſe, (and he will come along with me) that I am as poore a creature as any in his Highneſſe' realme!"’

PAGE 10.—GENUINE.

No. CCXXXVII.—Lady B—ME.

[34]

‘"Come, come, my higher titled ſiſters, now are you too elate: her Grace, our huſbande-hunting Mother, has exerciſed her wittes in 'vantage for us all; and, though ſhe caughte no unfledged Duke for me, ſhe hathe at leaſt a neſtlinge Marquiſſe ta'en, with which my little harte's content!—She tells me, both his eyes are faſhioned out of briliantes from the Eaſte, and that the reſte of this my dea [...]er ſelfe, is formed of precious jewelrie throughout!—If it be ſo, looke laſſes to't, or my gay ſparke may your's yet outſhine, and I, his bonnie BROOME, ſweepe a proude traine before you!"’

PAGE 16.—Not GENUINE.

No. CCXXXVIII.—Sir THOMAS T—T—N.

[35]

‘—"I ſtopped me onlie, in Minceing-lane, for a contraband glaſſe of Carraway Comfitte, at the luſcious hande of TURGO's ſleeping partner, and the Varlette hath demanded of me, payment through the noſe for this little lippe-full of ſimple compoundes!—He did alledge, that I had leakage given to a tierce of precious Coniaque, moſt choicelie brought to proofe; when, in veritie, we no more than ſhooke an ullage caſque upon the lees between us! Troth I did proteſte, by the firſt-blown honours of my Knighthoode, the allegation was not true; yet this retailer of ſinful provocatives, called him forth twelve worldlie minded ſottes, who charged me on their oathes uſurious, five thouſand Ducattes for this fancied waſte of periſheable wares!"’

PAGE 77.—Not GENUINE.

CCXXXIX.—Miſs OG—LVIE.

[36]
— — "Rowena did not ſo;
"For while the vaine, and giddie of her ſexe
"Strove emulouſlie to deform, and blurre
"The fairer excellencies of the minde,
"She all its native dignitie uphelde
"By 'compliſhments in reaſon's ſchoole acquired,
"Making their cloatheleſſe beautie ſhrink abaſhed
"From merit, ſo by modeſtie arrayed!"
PAGE 114.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-NINETH DAY's TRIAL.

[37]

No. CCXL.—Earl SP—R.

‘"Fie on your ſalte-water fates, who, from his cradle arriſtocratique, did bemounte this lande-nurſed Lorde upon the proudeſt courſer of the maine, and bade him rule the headeſtrong quadrupedde by guidance of his taile!—Awhile he rode o'er Biſquay's troubled ſeas, until his ſenſes with his ſeate he loſt, then, floundering, ploughed the deepe! the pitying Mermaides flewe to his reliefe, and combed his tearefull lockes; while Neptune's ſelfe deridinglie look'd on, and cracked his coral-mailed ſides with laughter!"’

PAGE 87.—GENUINE.

No. CCXLI.—Lady C—LL.

[38]

‘—"Stirre thee betimes goode Blanche! and endite me unnumbered cardes of complimente, invitinglie deviſed! ſo ſhall we out-telle the viſitants to Noah's arque, where all Godde's animals of kindes diſtinguiſhed did congregate in paires! Nay, we may boaſte perchance, more tongues than did the builders of proud Babel's tower confounde! Sacque-poſſets let me have enow; and bid, that lemmon-waters flowe in plentie rounde our dates, on cupboardes daintilie be-dight! Thus ſhall the Dames of common men in envie learne, that they have neither meanes, nor manners to convoke like me aſſemblage of the greate!"’

PAGE 10.—GENUINE.

No. CCXLII.—Mr. B—RW—L.

[39]

‘—"Laugh, and it ſo pleaſe you, my merrie maſters; but true it is, that I was broiled for yeares beneath the radiance of a burning ſunne, that my conſtitution might be warmed alſo, through a body ſo bepeppered by plannettarie influence?—Thus did I begette countleſs lacques of pagodas, that my fraile fleſh might lacke nought to luſte after in its mortal declenſion!—And now, quitting the hauntes of men, I have eſtabliſhed a free warren for 'tother gender, where a ſingle ſkutte i' the foreſt is not touched without privie leave of me, the ſole Lorde-paramount! ſo that if any ſlie puppie among you be found running by the noſe,—as licenſed keeper of mine own game, I ſhall rate the lurcher from his queſte, with ſimple loſſe of taile!"’

PAGE 67.—GENUINE.

No. CCXLIII.—Lady D—CRE.

[40]
'No morne, or eve, when twilight calmlie rules,
"But Elda mantled in her ſable ſtole,
"Walkes forthe to ſeeke deathe's conſecrated ſhade.
"There on the monumental buſte ſhe leanes,
"And, 'mid her only luxurie in woe,
"Reades virtues appertaininge to her Lorde,
"Which the cold hande of ſculpture could not trace,
"So left for purer recorde on her minde!"
PAGE 20.—GENUINE.

FORTIETH DAY's TRIAL.

[41]

CCXLIV.—Lord GR—NV—LE.

‘"Why doe the hungrie knaves begrudge me the common crumbes of comforte, which appertaine unto my table of eſtate? Thoſe abroad, raile at me in the markettable ſtyle of Byllingſgate, becauſe forſoothe I am daily purveyor of mine own coddes heade; while others on the opponent ſide of our own noble chamber, do invidiouſlie hint, that with our illuſtrious houſe, it is all fiſhe (particularly plaice) that comes into our nette!"—In veritie we ſomewhat trafficke in that commoditie; for while our brother of Buckingham dothe retaile his finnie race by the * inch ſuperficial, I, in wholeſale, buy me lumping pennieworths by the pounde avoirdupoiſe!’

PAGE 12.—GENUINE.

CCXLV.—Lady H—L—D.

[42]

‘"At her firſt enlaunchement, ſhe was as trim a barque as ever floated on Love's billow! but her head-ſtrong pilotte, clapping his helm too hard a weather, when ſhe was light of ballaſt, the veſſel was upſette, and ſoon drifted, ſans reckoning or compaſse, to a neighbouring Coaſte, where, liberated from Britiſh Vaſſalage, ſhe did become a leakie droit of Batavian Hollande!"’

PAGE 35.—Not GENUINE.

CCXLVI.—Capt. M—R—CE.

[43]

‘—"Capariſoned in a motley jacquet with qualitie binding, he became a Maurice dancer, ſurmounted with cappe and bells, which he jingled to the tune of other mens follie! Thus pranced he into goodlie dinners in jig-time; and, for his night's repaſt, that picked he up merrilie, by chaunting to unhallowed mindes the veſpers of laſcivious intoxication!"’

PAGE 16.—Not GENUINE.

CCXLVII.—Lady H—W—RD de W—LD—N.

[44]
—"Within the ſepulchre of her deade Lorde,
"Deeplie ſhe hathe entombed her harte's beſt love,
"Keeping alone the bliſsful hope alive
"Of ſoone replighting it in realmes above!
"Meanwhile, the cold abodes of povertie
"She ſeekes, and there with pious hande deals out
"Her meede of Chriſtian Charitie to all around!"
PAGE 4.—GENUINE.

FORTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.

[45]

CCXLVIII.—Prince WILLIAM of G—.

‘—"Since your half-witted knaves do bemeaſure man's reaſonable faculties by the narrowe circumference of his waiſte-band, I ſee not how a Princelie ſoldier now a daies is to paſſe muſter!—For my own parte, I can wooe ſighingly with moſt gallantes, and couch my lance, though full capariſoned, i' the tented fielde.—Let the Knight Errant who can atchieve more heroicallie, enter the liſtes, and he pleaſe, before me!"’

PAGE 76.—Not GENUINE.

CCXLIX.—Mrs. BR—D—D.

[46]

‘—"Come, come, Bud! let not you and I diſturb our ſillie pates about ſuch trifles!—Where is the benefitte of golde, unleſs, like the genial aire of heaven, it hathe moſt free circulation? or of manſions huge with their appurtenances, if not with occupation free?—True, as you ſay, by courteſie right conjugale, you are my Lorde and Maſter;—but you did always tell your friendes that you were their obedient ſervant: therefore have I, on our ſpecial nights of feſtival, ta'en care that you ſhould not befalſifie your worde!—You do forget, that I, juſt out of dadeing-ſtrings, in ſofteſt dalliance did allow great girles to be bemodelled after the likeneſſe of your own harte's delighte, and which are now ſo multiplied, that the ſound of grand-damme echoes through my ears, before, in nature's courſe, I've ceaſed to be a mother!—Nay, deareſt chuck, you owe me many kindneſſes for this—indeed you do!"’

PAGE 1.—Not GENUINE.

CCL.—Mr. H—ST—GS.

[47]
"The man of ſpleene, high-gifted as he roſe,
"Who, through my wounded honour ſought my life,
"Has paid the debt of nature thus before me!
"If e'er I turn towards his cold remains,
"'Twill be to breathe forgiveneſſe o'er a ſhrine
"Which Science hath ſo purelie conſecrated!"
PAGE 18.—GENUINE.

CCLI.—Mrs. ST—T.

[48]
—"Laſt eve, in Abbotte's lane,
"Where ſpectred ſuicides have groaned their laſte,
"An haggarde ſorc'reſſe croſst me on the way,
"And wildlie aſk'd me, if I had not borne
"A faire, and daintie daughter?—Sans reply—
"Flie hence!" quothe ſhe,—"a mother be agen,
"Nor longer leave upon the whirlpoole's brinke
"A child that follow'd thine own ſteppes aſtray;"—
"Then bade me viewe a raven high in aire,
"Which bore my deſtinie on ſable wing!—
"I, ſmiling, toſst ſome monie in her lappe
"As fortune careleſslie had done by me,
"And left the wretche, unſatisfied, behind!"
PAGE 100.—GENUINE.

FORTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.

[49]

CCLII. Rear-Admiral Sir HORATIO N—LS—N, K. B.

‘"Pſhawe, Tubert! why, I tell thee that this man of warre, like the fire-baſqueing Salamander, cannot live but within the rake of your red-hotte ſhotte, and other mortal conflagrationes! nay, in admiration of their leader's appetite, his mariners doe grumble, unleſs they have one warm meale a daie of this diette, which would give our ordinarie ſtomaches the harteburn!"’

PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

CCLIII. Mrs. C—MPB—L, ci-devant Miſs W—LL—S.

[50]

‘—"I doe marvelle, now the honied moone hath done to ſhine, if the ſame ſtarre of lowlie modeſtie will ſwaie Alberta's courſe, as it was wont! That ſhe did be-catch herſelf this golden plumed ſparke, by the arte magique of counterfeit reſemblinges, no one can in veritie denie;—ſo ſhall it ſoon be ſeene, whether ſhe hath the witte to holde him now in undiſguiſe, or, in her ſelf-defence, muſt enacte it with this ſame fancie bird, to the very end o' the chapter!"’

PAGE 38.—Not GENUINE.

CCLIV.—Mr. FR—NC—S.

[51]

‘—"If a manne's politie, which hath ſtoode the burning ſhame of various climes, is to be trammelled up by the vulgar ligatures of your juriſprudence common, at home,—then are our liberties fittinge for little more than bandes to tie up dried provender for ſtate cattle!—Sir, I had fairlie entrapped me ſome ſcores of Gloceſterſhire wights, and intended to have fed the hungrie knaves with the pareings of their ſingle cheeſe; but that fierle mountaineer o' the lawe, with a Welſh leeke in his bonnette, enlooſed theſe preſſers of curdes and whey, and then threw ſlander o'er my faire fame, as thick as their own Tewkeſburie muſtarde!"’

PAGE 44.—Not GENUINE.

CCLV.—Hon. Miſs BL—GH.

[52]
—"I doe begin to thinke me, ſiſter Blanche,
"That womane's charmes, which Fortune hathe not graced,
"Like the lighte meteors of a ſummer's ſkie,
"Attracte the momentarie gaze of menne,
"Scarcelie awhile their ſhort-lived colours laſt!—
"For meagre vanitie but thus ſkinne-deepe,
"Let us no longer trifle with our glaſſe,
"But turne it to the features of the minde,
"And ſee if any hidden beautie there
"Hathe claime to be reflected?"—
PAGE 114.—GENUINE.

FORTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

[53]

CCLVI.—SIR LIONEL D—L.

‘—"His Highneſſe, in his marvellous condeſcenſion, did entreat himſelfe to dine with me, but on ſtipulation poſitive, that nothing feminine ſhould grace our boarde:—aſſenting thereunto, I have unwiſelie embroiled myſelf with certain of mine own houſeholde; for my Ladie Wyfe, who delighteth in true courteſie, dothe ſo lamente this loſſe of the ſmile princelie, that ſhe hathe forbidden me to feede a royalle fowle thus privilie again, on peril of being hen-pecked for the remnant of my daies!"’

PAGE 13.—Not GENUINE.

CCLVII.—MISS ANG—SH.

[54]

‘—"I praie you, tell me the uſe of your dignified alliances, if we are not allowed to make our dailie boaſte of them? Since it hath pleaſed that capricious jade, Fortune, to trundle a ducalle crownette over our lowlie threſholde, I have rantipolled it faſhionablie with the beſt of them! and my tongue, which had ever a muſical propenſitie to repetitions, hathe caught the dulcet air of nobilitie ſo trulie, that it can chaunte you no other praiſes now but of her Grace, my dear be-Ducheſſed ſiſter!"’

PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

CCLVIII.—SIR CHARLES F— R—DCL—FE.

[55]

‘—"A plague on that commoditie of good-humour, which, coming in ſimple contacte with a goode digeſtion, hathe ſwolen up Barbolto to the full ſize of carnal enormitie!—Why, the waiſtband of his lower garment hath dilated ſo hugelie, that tailors cannot encompaſſe him with thrice ſtitched parchments! and ſo faſte doth he picke up ſtones averdupoize, that hack-horſes do ſhye at him more than a ſacke of ground midlings!—Marry, and he thus goes on, but all God's carrying creatures, male and female, will dread the mightie preſſure of his beſtrideing!"’

PAGE 100.—GENUINE.

CCLIX.—COUNTESS OF SH—FTSB—Y.

[56]
"If, in our teenes, a ſillie, wayward harte
"Hathe prematurelie pledged its maiden vowe,
"Frailtie, the chartered ſhielde of our weak ſexe,
"Muſt pennance it away!—Who can diſclaime
"Due hommage by a noble ſuitor ſworne,
"When with ſoft titled kiſſes ſeal'd? And yet,
"The vaine illuſive dreame no ſooner o'er,
"And Fortune paced her guileful footeſteppes back,
"Than all her wedded votaries appeare
"Of Hope's faire fancie-woven veſts unrobed,
"Like ſpiders foil'd in their diſmantled Webbe!"
PAGE 1.—Not GENUINE.

FORTY-FOURTH DAY's TRIAL.

[57]

CCLX.—SIR J. ANSTR—R.

‘—"Had I not been a judge of capilliarie juriſprudence, they had compelled me on board ſhippe, without my wigge judicial, or even the ſtate dower of my now Ladie wyfe right legallie guaranteed!—I doe marvelle, how our Magi o' the Eaſte are to be perſonified, unleſs in full pontificalibus!‘'Marry, Sirs,'’ quothe I, ‘'but my fage temples ſhall be well ſecured from mortal inquiſition, and the purlieu of my bodie incorporeal, amplified by circumvallations of ermined tabbie, or I depart not from his Liege's preſence!'’—Thus have they at length equipped me—and now may they reaſonablie looke for knottie pointes of ſerviceable hardihoode, of which the Medes, and Perſians never dreamt of yore!"’

PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

CCLXI.—MRS. BR—DY—L.

[58]
—"Thus mine harte's dear prodigalle
"From Syren harlottrie I have reſtored
"To recognition true of my poore charmes,
"Which he, like truant boy, did abdicate!
"Our gordian knotte now nuptiallie re-twined,
"Oh marvelle not, my girles, if it ſhould chaunce
"Within the circling courſe of nine bright moones,
"Your lovelie ſiſterhoode may owe increaſe
"To Nature's new atchieveings!"
PAGE 20.—GENUINE.

CCLXII.—ADMIRAL LORD H—D.

[59]
—"Mark that rough Seaman paſſing by, whoſe yeares ſhed luſtre on a gallant browe!—To ſcourge the enemie around the globe, was not enough for him, until, by conflagration of their fleetes, he did illume the faire, and ſmiling face of Victorie!—Say, Mervolt, do not honours thus ſo noblie earned, right well be-grace him?"
PAGE 18.—GENUINE.

CCLXIII.—MARCHIONESS OF B—K—G—M.

[60]
—"Oh ſhe dothe holde
"Your minceing dames of qualitie ſo cheape,
"As ſcarce to deeme the beſt her quatre couſins!
"How oft, by matron modeſtie impelled,
"Laies ſhe with winning grace, her crownette by,
"To add an humbler virtue to that ſtore
"Which dothe her modeſt Temple beſt adorn!"
PAGE 99.—GENUINE.

FORTY-FIFTH DAY's TRIAL.

[61]

CCLXIV.—ADMIRAL LORD D—NC—N.

"If that be not a man of ſtature high
"In deedes of valour, as in mien—no more
"I'll truſt this intellectual eye of mine
"To pick me out a hardie-moulded Britton!
"Upon Batavia's danke, and ſullen coaſte,
"I ſawe his weather-beaten pennants flie,
"Taunting their ſluggiſh barques to battel!
"At length in ruethful moment gave they ſaile,
"And at their verie threſholde met their fate!—
"The dreadful worke of nations thus performed,
"Soon did the furie of his front ſubſide;
"And when their Chieftain's banner graced his feete,
"A ſigh of ſympathie came ſweetlie forthe,
"Preſage of ſomething nobler ſtill, when all
"The bitterneſs of wrathe was done away!"
PAGE 100.—GENUINE.

CCLXV.—COUNTESS DOWAGER OF M—NSF—D.

[62]

‘"Pooh—pooh! Tubert,—ſhe'll have her full ſwing, unleſs the rope of dalliance breake—or nought knowe I of woman's gambolles!—Marrie, man, why you can no more keep a Flandriken dame of qualitie from a ſecond ſnap carnalle, than a pedlar's pad from another quarterne and penn'worth, when in manger ſette before him! tie them up as tightlie as you pleaſe, and both ſhall ſlippe their halter, for the liquoriſh provender their appetite delightes in!"’

PAGE 33.—Not GENUINE.

CCLXVI.—SIR CH. B—NB—Y.

[63]

‘—"Oh! he's the ſportinge Sir, who, in the hey-daie of his youthfulle bloode, did race it o'er Tartarian plains with flyinge Arrabs, and left their whiſkers diſtances behinde!—Nexte run he riotte through all the looſer petticoates of Salamanca.—But now, forſoothe, he queſts it ſoberlie on foote, to cull out dainties for his bedde and boarde! and, for the matter of that, they are not thrown away on him, who hath a diſpenſing hand, well faſhioned to ſubdue the preſſing wantes of others!"’

PAGE 20.—GENUINE.

CCLXVII.—DUCHESS OF L—DS.

[64]
"If Nature, with a ſcantie-dealing hande,
"Hathe deckt few witcheries my features rounde,
"At leaſt I owe her for that Syrenne voice
"With which ſhe did poſſeſſe me:—'tis on this
"That Arte dothe plaie her modulating powers,
"And woman, by its magique mynſtrelſie,
"Allure man's ear, and bend its raptur'd ſenſe
"In ſweete accordance to her will.
"Thus can ſhe turn the mirror of the State,
"And by reflected greatneſs be ennobled!"
PAGE 3.—GENUINE.

SIXTY-SIXTH DAY's TRIAL.

[65]

CCLXVIII.—ALDERMAN AND—RS—N, LORD M—Y—R.

—"Stand you by, my brother Cittes, and, as in dutie bounde, give to this golden chaine of mine it's reverend precedence!—Know you not that I'm a Man of State, on this faire ſide the Templar's barre, ſince I did eſcort our Sov'rain ſafelie to, and fro! In ſoothe, his Liege hath hinted to me, through a whiſper o' the Courte, that it is his royal wille, I ſhall in future bear a bloodie palm, to keep my naſal dignitie in countenance!—Marry, Sirs, thus ſhall I be empowered, by virtue of mine own bodie corporate, to give iſſue from theſe loines, which may, in better times, looke even Courtiers in the face without abaſhment!"
PAGE 22.—GENUINE.

CCLXIX.—HON. MISS D—NC—N.

[66]

‘—"Beſhrewe me, Coz! but I am ignorant, for which of my tall properties I have ſo hugelie grown in man's eſteeme!—I am moſt wonderfullie beviſitted of late by gaie gallants, who tender me their harte's beſt ſuite and ſervice; yet talk they little more to me, than of my father's deedes in armes; ſo that I do feare me, after all, I owe theſe ſudden conqueſts more to his mightie valoure, than to my own poor feminine atchievings!"’

PAGE 12.—Not GENUINE.

CCLXX.—SIR H— H—GHT—N.

[67]

‘—"Oh, he is a moſt ſteady Sir! one with moſt fixed principles who will ſitte you for whole moones in the playing roome at the Bathe, like a piece of its own furniture immoveable!—Though choſen to the Senate, he obtrudes amongſt them neither his opinions, nor his perſon: nay, he is a man of ſo few words, that he never ſaid Aye in his whole life, till they did lead him t'other day blindfolded to the altarre!"’

PAGE 36.—Not GENUINE.

CCLXXI.—HON. MISS K—NG.

[68]
"How ſweete you flow'rette peered to meet the ſunne,
"Ere it was baſelie pluckt by that fell hande
"Which to its tender beauties owed protection?—
"But blighted now! behold it choak'd with weedes,
"Appurtenances ſad of rooted woe!—
"Theſe courts ſhe not as types of murder'd fame,
"For it doth ſeeme to be in frantick griefe,
"Becauſe the juſt, avenging hand of Heaven
"Hath reached her mercileſs deſpoiler!"—
PAGE 14.—GENUINE.

SIXTY-SEVENTH DAY's TRIAL.

[69]

CCLXXII.—LORD H—WKES—RY.

‘—"I met me on the Kinge's highwaye, a Tom Thumbe of a Lordeling, who did boaſte of mightier deedes than thoſe of Jack the ſlaughterer of Giantes! He told me he had vaulted the daie before with the man of Rhodes, and beaten him by a furlong at a ſingle jumpe! He had juſt ſtepped into his nine-leagued bootes, and ſwore by the maidenheade of his nobilitie, that he would be at the capital of the Gauls and back again, before he broke his faſte!"’

PAGE 37.—GENUINE.

CCLXXIII.—LADY ANN N—TH.

[70]
"After a lapſe of twentie virginne yeares,
"He hath my maiden matronhoode agen
"Aſſailed with vowes of never-altered love!
"Though all this live-long while he did endure
"The fretful yoke of a connubial life,
"Abatement of his paſſion find I none;
"So to this fierrie ſparke my hande I yielde,
"And plight obeiſance to his lordlie will."
PAGE 12.—Not GENUINE.

CCLXXIV.—MR. BRYAN ED—DS.

[71]

‘—"If a man having been bleſſed with Godfathers and Godmothers, be deſpoiled of his Chriſtian name by thoſe who rule us, what chaunce have we, my neighbours, in ſuch times, to maintain the remnant of our birthrightes? Why, Sirs, they have employed their ſerving knaves o' th' preſs, to y'clep me by a beaſtlie name, denoting that I would daunce, and play you ſillie antickes, under the cudgel of my leader! Nay, the very Oracle of our Aſſembly, forgetful of his nomenclatura, called me forth but t'other daie as Mr. Bruin, and thus did he provoke a moſt unſeemlie roar of merriment at my expenditure!"’

PAGE 22.—GENUINE.

CCLXXV.—MARCHIONESS OF H—RTF—D.

[72]
"'Tis not in ſculptur'd ſtature, coldlie chaſte,
"That ARESTINA towers above her ſexe:
"The worlde dothe give her fame for ſhapeful form
"Well moulded for pre-eminence; but marke
"How in the plaſtique movement of each limbe,
"On everie charm-combining feature round,
"The animating ſoul of virtue breathes
"A grace that's intellectual!"
PAGE 38.—GENUINE.

SIXTY-EIGHTH DAY's TRIAL.

[73]

CCLXXVI.—LORD VISCOUNT H—REF—D.

"Adown in Brecon's rude, but fertile vale,
"One morn a noblie-gifted Sir I ſpied,
"Teaching obeiſance to the ſtubborn ſoile!
"A yoke of milke-white oxen did fore-pace
"His ſteppes, awhile the polliſh-breaſted ploughe
"Traced furrowed lines beneath his ſkillful hand.
"Strait aſked I of this man, who, in theſe daies,
"Dared give primaeval dignitie to ſcenes
"Of ruſtique caſte?—They told me he was one
"Of Brittain's Peers!—Then mark me well, quoth I,
"The earthe, ennobled thus, ſoon to its Lorde,
"In plenteous ſtores, right gratefullie ſhall give
"Its honourable produce back!"
PAGE 44.—GENUINE.

CCLXXVII.—LADY ALMERIA C—RP—R.

[74]

‘—"They tell me I have not done amiſs in bartering a littel of my woman's beautie, for a better portion of worldlie wiſdome.—I would not have been hand-maiden to any houſholde thus long, without knowing my why? and my wherefore?—However, in pure friendſhippe to her Highneſſe, I will continue cheerfullie to undertake thoſe familie-affayres, for which her own infirmities do unfitte her, and leave it to the Duke to reckon on my deſerts accordinglie!"’

PAGE 18.—Not GENUINE.

CCLXXVIII.—MR. M—CN—M—A, [of Streatham.]

[75]

‘—"The wagges o' the Courte would inſinuate againſt me, that mine is the Houſe of Calle for politique confederation: moreover, that I do retaile oute ſtate projects at the tippling ſign of the Iriſhe Piper! Truth it is, that I put good cheere before my gueſts; but if there be any treaſon among 'em, it muſt be found in their owne wittes, and not in M'Nab's old wine!—That ſome of their midnight deedes have ſavoured of darkneſſe, I cannot well denie; but that, indeed, was onlie after quaffing ſo incontinentlie, that they could not ſee!"’

PAGE 7.—GENUINE.

CCLXXIX.—LADY ST. AS—PH.

[76]
"That is the ſecond flowerette which her Lorde
"Connubiallie hath culled out.—The firſt,
"Though ſweete in budde, did wither on his breaſt,
"Ere it had reached its bloome!—But now, in ſoothe,
"Hath he ſelected, from a Northern clime,
"With fairer hope that time will here mature
"His harte's amended choice!"—
PAGE 34.—GENUINE.

SIXTY-NINTH DAY's TRIAL.

[77]

CCLXXX.—LORD C—WD—R.

"I do appeale me to your Council's boarde,
"And aſke redreſs of honour-wounding wronges.
"You did not make me Cawdor's titled Lorde,
"To ſee me truckle to a Cambrian Thane.
"Remember, Sire, in daies of peril paſt,
"I met upon our beach th'inſulting Gauls,
"And for the oares they quitted, gave them chaines!
"For this, and ſuch like ſervices of ſtate,
"I do expect ſupremacie of power,
"Within this ſcantie limit of our Iſle;
"Or that the miſerable moietie I hold
"Be taken back, in noveltie to grace
"Some lowlie Chiefe, on whoſe quieſcent minde
"Divided rule may ſit at eaſe!"—
PAGE 77.—Not GENUINE.

CCLXXXI.—LADY — T—YL—R.

[78]
"When I was ſick at harte, I found, like Deathe,
"That Love did all diſtinctions levell!—Oh! then
"My equalizing ſoule, true to its ſource,
"Sigh'd not for oſtentatious aid—but bade
"That her own Doctor Nature ſhould call in.
"He coldlie did approach my reſtleſſe couch,
"But found my feverous pulſe beat quick and high;
"Still he inſenſiblie my caſe miſtooke,
"Although my crimſoned viſage ſpoke it clear,
"Until perforce I told him where it lay,
"And how to medicine its onlie cure!"
PAGE 48.—GENUINE.

CCLXXXII—DR. L—WR—CE.

[79]

‘—"I did betake me, t' other morn, to Father L—wr—ce, a Soothe-ſayer, and grave Oracle o' the Arches, one who dothe retaile you civille lawe, and politiques moſt villainouſſie compounded!—I found him in learned tribulation, having juſt eſcaped the COMMONS not Doctorial, where, being far from home, he did make it a dubitable queſtion with his own pericranium, whether he had riſen by his heade, or on his feete?—The wagges had laughed incontinentlie at his confuſion, and told his Reverence to his bearde, that he had been aſſeſſing his five ſenſes quintuplie, without levying from thence one graine of common underſtanding!"’

PAGE 104.—GENUINE.

CCLXXXIII.—MRS. SCR—PE.

[80]
—"In ſoothe, good Nurſe, 'tis hard
"That I, who ſought a Huſbande's fonder armes,
"Soon as I quitted your's, am now of both
"Bereft!—The gapeing eyes of other men
"Still ſpeak me ſomewhat more than paſſing faire,
"Which my own mirror proudlie doth reflect:
"And yet my wedded harte, juſt in its teenes,
"Is now divorced, and its firſt plighted love
"Caſt in its infancie away!"
PAGE 45.—Not GENUINE.

SEVENTIETH DAY's TRIAL.

[81]

CCLXXXIV.—BISHOP OF D—M.

"You aſke me, Ladie, how my frame could feel
"The ſhock of magique wantonneſs ſo far?
"Your interrogatorie thus I ſolve—
"In my minde's ſcopefull eye I viewed the daunce,
"Where, on the optique nerve of mortal ſenſe
"It ſpread lewd geſticulations wide!
"In blaunched lawne though man be purelie robed,
"Yet hathe the boundleſs will of Heaven ordained
"It ſhould begirt rebellious fleſhe and bloode!
"How then, I praie you, Madam, ſo endued,
"Theſe maddening fantaſies can Nature bear
"To flaſh acroſs her poore, diſtempered braine,
"And keepe frail manhoode in ſubjection?"
PAGE 18.—Not GENUINE.

CCLXXXV.—COUNTESS OF C—RK.

[82]
—"No—no, my Lorde!
"My woman's wille muſt be your ſov'rain lawe,
"Though at the altar's baſe my tongue did plight
"Obedience, 'twas but a weake, fleeting vow,
"Which after-thought was bound to remedie.
"Here then, imperiouſlie, I do demand
"(In ſure avoidance of domeſtique ſtrife),
"Through all this life's concerns pertaining you,
"Due vaſſalage!—holding in fiefe of me
"Your crownette,—and your ſworde!"
PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

CCLXXXVI.—EARL OF C—RD—N.

[83]

‘—"If my Ladie Wyfe be not overgone theſe eighteen moones with ſon and heire of mine owne begetting, then know I nought of the net proceeds of noble manhoode!—Why, Sir, but t'other night, in my repoſe—(but mark, 'tis entre nous),—the littel ſightleſs rogue did fairlie kick his much delighted ſire, in place I dare not nominate:—taking the hint, no ſooner came the morn, than I did hie me forth, and, with his cradle, bought me up rich ſwaddling cloathes in plentie, to await the time of his forthcoming!"’

PAGE 80.—GENUINE.

CCLXXXVII.—LADY C—H—R.

[84]
—"I was beguiled
"To cut thoſe flowing treſſes from my necke,
"Which men ſo much admired; and now they ſay,
"That I have baniſhed from their wanton home
"The littel Loves, which uſed to ambuſh there!
"Surelie I am not thus of beautie ſhorne,
"(As man of yore was of his mortal ſtrength!)
"Doomed to recline my faire dejected head,
"Like flowrette faire moſt prematurelie cropt!"
PAGE 37.—GENUINE.

SEVENTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.

[85]

CCLXXXVIII.—VICE-ADMIRAL C—LP—YS.

‘—"Give me a Tarre, who ſerves his countrie trulie, and without much imparlance; ſo that, when an enemie doth holde diſputation with him, he anſwereth in repartee, and cuts off his chaine of argument by a quick exchange of chaine-ſhotte!—I knew a ſalt-water Chief of this ſtampe, who ſilenced the mutinie of his ſhippe by the ſame ſplice of eloquence, and for which his Sov'rain, in admiration of the deede, did command him to diſplay the Red Flag at his own gallant main!"’

PAGE 13.—GENUINE.

CCLXXXIX.—COUNTESS OF H—RC—T.

[86]

‘—"I pray thee, Spaldo, give not thy tongue propenſitie to courtlie ſlander.—That Ladie is the prime-moveable feminine about the Queene's perſon, which may account for its haveing been handled, in time of yore, rather freelie.—It argueth marvellous greatneſs for one noblie bred, to be able in her ſpleene, to deſcant boldlie on Royal weakneſſes; and when the fit of obſequience doth return, to bend, and licke the very duſte beneath her Highneſſe's ſandals!—Marry, knave, to be in perfect tune with the times, one muſt have an alarum, that will ring you all the changes o' the State, from the treble key of ſycophancie, down to the lower baſſe of courtlie diſcontent!—"’

PAGE 88.—Not GENUINE.

CCXC.—SIR FRANCIS B—D—TT.

[87]

‘—"Should this whimſical Knight have ſworne to urge perpetual ſtrife with nature, he will keepe his worde!—Why, Sir, he can combatte with all the ſpiteful elements, one after t'other, in their bittereſt wrath, and laugh at his own diſcomfiture: nay, he will now lick redde fierrie barrs of iron, till his tongue growe hiſſing hotte, and then mount upon tavern benches, and make you flameing declamations! Heaven, in its waſte of bountie, did beſtowe upon his heade a liberal covering of haire, but he hath diſplaced it even to the nodde of his necke, that none of it might ſtand i' the way of his political exaltation!"’

PAGE 4.—GENUINE.

CCXCI.—COUNTESS OF B—KL—Y.

[88]
—"Is it not paſſing ſtrange,
"That from the teeming braine of one demure,
"A progenie ſo great ſhould iſſue forth
"To claim pre-eminence?—How 'twas contrived
"In l [...]ſtful privitie to gender thus,
"And procreate,—mankind do marvel much!
"But mark forſooth—the bluſh of ſhame gone out
"In the faire face of an aſtoniſhed worlde,
"Her little dark [...]ings ſhe doth now array,
"Rich in the trappings of their father's houſe,
"To try how ſuch uſurpings will befitte
"The dormant pri [...]e of Tudor's outcaſt race!"
PAGE 36.—GENUINE.

SEVENTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.

[89]

CCXCII.—BISHOP OF W—CH—R.

‘—"Nay, nay, goode brother Abbotte—by the maſſe; but we are all of the Church Militant,—and therefore bound by the cannon, to fighte, as well as praie! I am not for letting our common clothe go forth to wage our battles of defence, and not budge a ſingle inch ourſelves, although we piouſlie commend the Lord of Hoſies to war upon their ſide:—Do ye all as beſt belikes your reverend phantaſies—but, for mine own part, I'll not be knocked o' the head, like a lewd goate kneelinglie—that's poz!!"’

PAGE 33.—Not GENUINE.

CCXCIII.—LADY E. E. FITZG—LD.

[90]
"Come, Geraldine, 'tis meet we hie to Courte,
"And there our virgin fealtie diſplaye.
"What 'though a ſhoote hath wildlie took its courſe,
"And from the ſtem it has diſgraced, been torn;—
"A pair of hartes they ſhall in us behold
"Chaſte in their loyaltie, as in their love!"
PAGE 6.—GENUINE.

CCXCIV.—LORD M—NTO.

[91]
"About apoſtacie go tell the windes!—
"To the State's vantage, rightlie held ſupreme,
"All earthlie peccadilloes muſt give way.—
"Have I not crowne, and glittering ſceptre gained,
"To chafe thoſe temples which, in ſoothe I found
"Moſt heavilie en-diadem'd before?
"While on mine own obedient heade I placed
"Nought but a feathered cappe, with prettie belles,
"On which man's vanitie may one day ring
"Its own dumb peale of courtlie triumph!"
PAGE 7.—GENUINE.

CCXCV.—LADY CON—GH—M.

[92]
"A monied ſcrivener was her thriftie ſire,
"Whoſe dame did luſtilie repaie him back
"Full compounde intereſt of wedded love!
"Hence doth Alberta all her ſexe o'ertoppe
"In ſtatured height, as well as peerleſſe charmes,
"Boaſting no ſource from that puiſſante bloode,
"Which, with a ſcurvied arrogancie taintes
"Some of the proudeſt ſkinnes within our iſle!"
PAGE 66.—GENUINE.

SEVENTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

[93]

CCXCVI.—Rev. DR. [Anti-Sejanus] SC—T.

‘—"If your holie Soothſayers, are with their grey haires, to be reviſitted by the politique ſinnes of their youthe, then will annointed men be placed in purgatorie everlaſting!—But t'other Sabbathe, when I was propounding paſſive obedience to the goode houſewives of that piſcatorie towne called Scarborough, came there a Capittaine of a militarie cohort, who did drawe from me my faire congregation by the ſound of trumpette, blown at the very doore of the tabernacle!—I did appeale me to my countrie's lawes for this offence againſt the ſtatutes divine; when the Jurors for our Sov'rain Lorde the King, in lack of reverence for the Churche, awarded me but a cracked teaſter for ſo abominable a waſte of reputation cleriqual!"’

PAGE 77.—Not GENUINE.

CCXCVII.—LADY L—GHB—GH.

[94]
—"Remember, Sirs,
"'Tis not a wordie warfare you've to wage,
"Nor, by the varying flippancie of tongue
"To victorie muſt you aſpire!—Behold,
"And on the ſpottleſſe bannerette record
"Deedes worthie of faire Science, and her ſonnes!
"It hathe been hallowed at the altar's baſe,
"And from my feeble handes, in pur [...]ſt faithe,
"Now doth it emulouſlie paſſe to your's,
"That all which woman's loyaltie can hope
"By manlie fortitude may be atchiev'd!
PAGE 78.—GENUINE.

CCXCVIII.—LADY EDWARD FITZG—LD.

[95]
"Why muſt my wayward deſtinie be writ
"In hideous ſcrolls by goutes of kindred bloode!—
"Scarce had I worn the enſanguined horrors out
"Of a reputed Sire's too rutheful fate,
"Than the laſt threade of life was torn in twain,
"By fond affection given as a ſtaye,
"On which one hope might perilouſlie hang!"
PAGE 88.—GENUINE.

CCXCIX.—MR. HENRY AD—NGT—N.

[96]

‘—"Since I am reputed Wit-cracker to the Prime Ruler o' the realm, he muſt right honourablie let me pouch a little o' the State-kernel, elſe ſhall I make the beardes of his Courtiers wagge, to the miſerable tune of mine own improvidence!"’

PAGE 33.—GENUINE.
END OF VOL. III.
Notes
*
Mr. MALONE remarks, though on what authority is not declared, that theſe are punniſtical alluſions of the immortal Bard, to the VIRGIN NAME of the fair LADY, and the retail occupation of her SIRE, a worthy reſident in thoſe days of LOWER THAMES-STREET.
*
Mr. MALONE remarks, though on what authority is not declared, that theſe are punniſtical alluſions of the immortal Bard, to the VIRGIN NAME of the fair LADY, and the retail occupation of her SIRE, a worthy reſident in thoſe days of LOWER THAMES-STREET.
*
Alluding to one of this diſtinguiſhed family ſelling the Carp of GOSFIELLD Park Ponds in Eſſex, by this ſcanty admeaſurement, long ſubſequent to the days of good QUEEN BESS!
Distributed by the University of Oxford under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License

Zitationsvorschlag für dieses Objekt
TextGrid Repository (2020). TEI. 5231 Passages selected by distinguished personages on the great literary trial of Vortigern and Rowena a comi tragedy pt 3. University of Oxford Text Archive. . https://hdl.handle.net/21.T11991/0000-001A-6136-A